小时候 我并不怎么爱出门 When I was younger, I didn't get out much.
谢谢 Thank you! Thank you.
你真好 基斯默 Oh, that's so sweet. Gizmo, you're too kind.
所以 当科琳·麦克沃特斯 So when Corynn McWatters,
全校最受欢迎的女生 the most popular girl in school,
邀请了我 全校最丑霉女 invited me, the most butt girl in school,
参加她的贵宾独享睡衣派对时 to her super exclusive V.I.P.-only slumber party...
我就应该知道有猫腻 I should've known something was up.
那天早上 我起床后 That morning, I woke up looking like
就像是打了鸡血的安妮 a jacked up version of Annie.
说实话 现在情况也并没有什么改变 And honestly, not much has changed.
这可不对 有一件事的确变了 Well, that's not true. One thing has changed --
现在我已经知道如何打造自己 Now I know how to work it.
首先是面部准备 First, there's face prep
杰西卡的湿巾 featuring Jessica's cleansing wipes
德鲁的粉底 And Drew's toning wipes.
把睡完觉的发型倒回去 Then I reverse my bedhead...
找到发型的灵感 And find my "Hairspiration."
全卷大波浪 绝对不会错 Clear waves, full spiral, can't lose.
最后 我用金的妆前隔离液 Finally, I put my face on using Kim's primer veil,
它最近已经被军事化了 which was recently militarized.
总之 我要花大概三个小时 All in all, it takes me roughly three hours
才能看上去美艳动人 而不是次之 to look alpha, not beta.
但这都是值得的 But it was worth it,
因为我要在"药业杰出女性"早午餐美翻全场 'cause I was gonna floss at the "Women in pharma" Brunch.
该死 Dang!
错过了 I missed it.
现在我唯一的希望 Now the only thing left to hope for
就是亨利不会发现我 was that Henry wouldn't notice.
早啊 伊莉莎 Morning, Eliza.
如果你不想被人发现 If you wanna go by unnoticed, you might wanna try
最好少喷点香水 少吃点棉花糖 a milder fragrance with fewer notes of cotton candy.
你注意到了 You noticed!
办公室左侧的所有人都注意到了 As did the entire left wing of this office.
今早的"药业杰出女性"早午餐怎么样 How was the "Women in pharma" brunch this morning?
真的... It was really...
很受启发 informative.
感觉... 充满了力量 And, like -- like, empowering.
好像自己撑起了半边天 And it totally felt like I was holding up half the sky.
还有 还有 And -- and --
很勇敢 知道吗 and "How brave," You know?
还有 同等薪酬 And -- and also? Equal pay!
因为每一个药品行业坚强男人的背后... Because beside every strong pharmaceutical man --
我知道你没去 I know you didn't go.
你错过了一次大好机会 Eliza, you missed out on an incredible opportunity
你本可以见见同行中的其他女性 to meet other women in your field,
让老手们给你宝贵的建议 seasoned vets who could've provided valuable insight,
甚至还有人可能成为你将来的楷模 one of whom could've served as a future role model for you.
你不是我的楷模吗 I thought you were my role model.
我 不不 Me? No, no, no.
导师 可能吧 顾问 必须是 Mentor, possibly. Advisor, certainly.
-老师 -算是吧 - Sensei? - Of sorts.
-长老 -好了 不要玩文字游戏了 - Elder. - Okay, we're done playing this game.
问题是 我不是你的楷模 "Point bees," I'm not your role model.
楷模是指你憧憬他的生活 A role model is someone whose life you aspire to.
你想要我这样的生活吗 Do you want my life?
-好吧 -不不 - M'kay. - No, no.
不许说"好吧" Not -- not "M'kay."
这事你应该好好想想 This is something you should be thinking seriously about.
你应该选一个你渴望成为的人 You should find someone whose path you wanna walk.
比如 For instance, since...
自儿时起 Since childhood...
我的楷模就一直是 my role model has been...
戴维·托马斯 Dave Thomas.
他不是那个开汉堡店的吗 Isn't he the hamburglar?
不 戴维是我的完美楷模 No. Dave was the perfect role model for me
因为他是白手起家 because he started from the bottom.
* 现在他... * * Now he here *
* 从零开始 整个队伍... * * Started from the bottom now my whole team *
请住嘴 If you'll quiet yourself,
这里有一句他将肯德基上校的名言 There is a quote in here about Colonel Sanders...
我就是靠着这句话活过了大二那一年 Basically got me through sophomore year.
VANS 滑板最时尚
我的天啊 Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
你也曾经是个滑板少年 Were you a skater boy?
年轻时 As a youth, I thrashed,
我也偶尔任性 玩几个脚尖翻板和翱骊 enjoyed the occasional kickflip, ollied about periodically.
天呐 滑板文化被你一说都变得无趣了 Wow. You even make skate culture sound boring.
好吧 亨利 等我找到楷模之后再回来给你报告 Okay, Henry, I'll report back when I find a female role model.
我不太确定想要过上谁的生活 And since I wasn't sure whose life I wanted,
于是我决定选择 I decided to start with someone
从皱纹条数看来 who, judging from her frown lines,
人生阅历最丰富的人 had a crapload of life experience.
琼 Joan.
你作为一个比我老那么多人 As someone who is way older than me,
生活肯定非常不错吧 you've had a pretty good life, right?
岁月静好 It's been adequate.
那你会给想要过上你这样生活方式的人 And what advice would you give someone hoping to attain
什么样的建议呢 the lifestyle you are currently living?
卫生纸一定不要嫌多 You can never have too much bath tissue.
琼还是算了吧 So it wasn't gonna be Joan.
夏莫妮卡 Charmonique?
想不想当个模[模特]啊 How would you like to be a model?
当过啦 Mm, been there, done that.
真的吗 Seriously?
我大学时期一直靠做手模拍照片赚钱 Mm-hmm. I worked my way through college as a hand model for stock photos.
不信吗 搜一下"种族平等之手" Don't believe me? Google "Racial equality hands."
这只美丽的小宝贝 This baby girl right here
可是临幸过全美国最精美的手册 宣传页 has graced some of the finest brochures, leaflets,
和平面广告 and prints ads in... America.
可以摸摸吗 May I?
请便 Please.
如丝般柔滑 Ahh! It's like silk!
简直是当我楷模的绝佳之选 You are the perfect choice to be my role model!
算了吧 Mnh-mnh. Pass.
你可是给了我很大的启发 But you're an inspiration to me.
我想要像你一样 And I wanna be just like you.
大家都这么想 可是没门 Everybody does, but they can't.
你不能早上起床决定自己要当夏莫妮卡 You can't just wake up one day, decide to become Charmonique,
结果就真奇迹般地成了她 没门 and then just magically be her. Unh-unh!
本字幕首发于字幕组网站 www.ZiMuZu.tv 欢迎交流
翻译/校对 TanKnoX 圈圈
时间轴 Poxle
后期 吉吉
总监 TanKnoX
再造淑女
第一季 第十三集
你好 Hello.
你守在男厕所门口干什么 What are you doing standing right outside the men's room?
等你 Waiting for you.
我真心希望你不要埋伏我 Well, I really wish you wouldn't ambush me.
好的 亨利 没问题 Okay, Henry, sure. No problem.
我可以帮你这个忙 I can do you that favor,
但你也得帮我一个小忙 just as long as you do a small favor for me in return.
好 Okay.
你知道吗 凯文被诊断出有高血压前状态 So you know how I've been trying to get Kevin to be more active
我一直想让他多活动活动 after he's been diagnosed as prehypertensive?
我不知道 I did not know that.
谁知道天天吃鸡块的危害那么大 Who knew a nugget-based diet could be so harmful?
是个人都知道 Everyone, yeah.
从饮食上来说 你根本不可能会想到有这种症状 Dietarily, it's always the thing you'd least expect.
我第一个就想到了 First thing I'd expect.
可孩子总要吃东西 总而言之 And yet, the kid has to eat. Anywho...
得让凯文爱上滑板 Kevin has taken an interest in skateboarding.
而伊莉莎告诉我你曾经玩过小木板板 And Eliza told me that you used to be a wood pusher.
所以我想 你可以教他 So I thought maybe... you could teach him.
不 绝对不行 Hmm. No. Absolutely not.
夏莫妮卡 抱歉让你失望了 Charmonique, sorry to disappoint you,
但我工作很忙 but I have a lot of work to do.
她还告诉我 你非常看重 She also told me how passionately you feel
楷模的作用 about the importance of role models.
还有谁比一个家中没有男人 又有睡眠窒息症的 And who needs a role model more than a hypertense 10-year-old
十岁男孩 更需要楷模呢 with sleep apnea and no male presence?
好吧 好吧 我会教他一两手 Okay. Fine. Fine. I will teach him a few things.
但不能每天都教 But this will not be an everyday occurrence.
好的 我明白了 Okay, I gotcha. I gotcha.
就破天荒地来一次... 跟他的亲生父亲一样 Just once in a blue moon... like his real father.
别这么说我 夏莫妮卡 Don't put that on me, Charmonique!
事实就是如此 It is what it is.
我已经开始放弃找到楷模的希望 I was beginning to give up hope of ever finding a role model,
忽然想起 我以前的确有过一个楷模 until I remembered I did use to have one --
头等绿茶婊 Alpha bitch...
科琳·麦克沃特斯 Corynn McWatters.
科琳·麦克沃特斯 最受欢迎 最美秀发 最美着装 最美笑容 最有希望成功 最上镜
当时 Back in the day,
科琳美丽火辣 万人迷 Corynn was smoking hot and insanely popular.
但从林赛·罗韩 黛比·吉布森 But judging by lindsay lohan, Debbie Gibson,
和乔纳森·泰勒·托马斯的经验来看 and J.T.T.,
年少时受欢迎 长大了可都不咋地 Teenage popularity does not age well.
我猜科琳也难逃这样的局面 And I was guessing Corynn would be no different.
天呐 她... Oh, my god! She's...
跟我想的不一样 Not exactly what I had in mind.
可是为什么 为什么 But why? Why?
你看 你看 Look. Look.
她在普罗旺斯翻修了一座农家小屋 She renovated a farmhouse in Provence
老公是获奖的自然摄影师 with her award-winning nature photographer husband.
两个孩子超可爱 还兼职给连卡佛当模特 She's got two adorable kids who model part-time for J.Crew.
她和赤足天使是朋友 She's friends with the Barefoot Contessa.
而且 天啊 她还会做扇贝 扇贝啊 亨利 And oh, my god. She knows how to make mussels. Mussels, Henry.
做扇贝有那么难吗 Is it really that hard to make mussels?
煮煮不就完了么 Don't you just boil them?
如果这么容易 你怎么不做 If it's so easy, why don't you make some?
快啊 在哪呢 Hmm? Go ahead. Where they at?
扇贝在哪呢 亨利 Where the mussels at, Henry? Huh? Huh?
扇贝在哪呢 Where the mussels at?
伊莉莎 你在中学很害怕这个人 Eliza, this person terrorized you in middle school,
她把你选成"最丑霉女" elected you "Most butt,"
用你的原话说 让你觉得自己 and, in your own words, "Made you feel more disgusting
比玛丽·凯特的法国老男友还恶心 than Mary-Kate's old french boyfriend."
不好意思 我觉得 I'm sorry. I just don't think
科琳·麦克沃特斯不适合当你的楷模 Corynn McWatters is the right role model for you.
以前的她不是 但是你看啊 The old Corynn wasn't. But look, look, look, look, look.
现在她不仅是个作家 Not only is she a published author,
而且还养了一只金毛贵妇 名叫休小舞 but she also has a goldendoodle named Hugh Dancy,
我也想养一只名叫休小舞的金毛贵妇 and I want a goldendoodle named Hugh Dancy.
天啊 快看休小舞 Oh, my god! Oh, look at Hugh Dancy.
乖不乖啊休小舞 乖不乖啊 Who's a good Hugh Dancy? Who's a good, good Hugh Dancy?
好吧 咱俩都自控一下 All right, let's get a hold of ourselves.
她的Ins只是她生活的一部分 Her instagram feed is curated within an inch of its life.
你应该最清楚 假装完美很容易 You of all people should know how easy it is to fake perfection.
是的 可是她不是假装 我查过了 Yes, except she's not faking. I checked.
没有用过重滤镜 No heavy filter usage.
也没有四十五度角 这是低角度 No suss cropping -- this is a low angle.
如果她有双下巴 我们会看到的 If she had chins, we'd be seeing them.
是不是有什么你不知道的去双下巴应用 Isn't there some chin removing app that you're unaware of?
你好 我是伊莉莎·杜丽 Um, hello. Eliza Dooley.
很高兴认识你 It's a pleasure to meet you.
我对手机应用无所不知 There are no apps I am unaware of.
你以为我是谁啊 亨利 Who do you think you're talking to, Henry?
Ins上的新生儿吗 Some newborn instagram baby?
科琳今晚有个读书会 Look, Corynn is having a book reading tonight.
跟我一起去 亲眼看看吧 Just come with me and see for yourself.
你觉得休小舞会去吗 You think Hugh Dancy will be there?
学习冲浪时 When you take a surf lesson,
你不会直接跳到海里 对吧 you don't just jump right in the ocean, do you?
不 不会 No. You don't.
嘿 亨利 别吼他 Hey, hey! Henry, do not yell at him.
他血压受不了 His blood pressure.
我没有吼 我是要说明... I wasn't yelling. I was just trying to make a p--
咱们继续 Let's move on.
接近滑板时 Now when approaching a skateboard,
必须要明白 one must always be mindful --
凯文 有什么问题 Yes, Kevin? What is it?
我不够敏捷 I have no agilities.
没错 他确实不敏捷 That's true. He doesn't.
幸运的是 不用身手矫健也能玩滑板 Fortunately, one needn't be agile to skate.
但是 你必须要有足够的知识 However, one must be knowledgeable.
咱们从1972年说起 So we begin in 1972.
一个名叫弗兰克·纳斯沃西的男子 A man by the name of Frank Nasworthy
刚刚发明了聚氨酯轮... has just invented the polyurethane wheel...
在臭名昭著的胶合板大厅的掌控之下... ...under the crushing grip of the infamous plywood lobby,
这就要说到1951年 which brings us to 1951.
1951年 怎么还倒退了 1951?! We moving backwards?
当时的木板很多 Boards were plentiful, sure.
但都没有轮子 But none with wheels.
让让好吗 我们这上课呢 Do you mind? We're in the middle of a lesson.
上什么课 A lesson about what?
滑板课 About skateboarding.
你想跟真把式学滑板吗 You want a lesson from a non-poseur?
-来滑板公园吧 -没问题 - Come by the skate park. - No doubt.
真把式 Non-poseur?
谁是假... 你是说... Who is a...are you s--
并不是只有亨利在面对孩童时代的不安 Henry wasn't the only one confronting a childhood insecurity.
我也要在她的签售会上见到我儿时的克星 I was about to meet mine at her book signing.
虽然科琳不是完美的楷模 And even though Corynn wasn't the perfect role model,
她也肯定比那个贱人要好多了 She had to be better than that slut.
马德琳·奥尔布赖特 《国务卿女士》
如果她要是整过 我不是说她真的整过 If she had work done -- and I'm not saying she did --
肯定是用了最新的技术 you can bet your ass it was some top-shelf new-new
估计是在迪拜整的 probably done in dubai.
各位好 Enchante, everyone.
感谢大家来到这里 Thank you so much for being here.
这本书 This book,
美味餐桌:烹饪 记忆及我 "La bonne table: recipes, memories, et moi,"
我个人真的非常有幸写作 was a real labor of love for me --
重点在"有幸"上 emphasis on the labor.
科琳啊 Corynn.
写作这本书的很多灵感 A lot of the inspiration for the book
都来自于我童年的经历 came from my childhood.
我跟她一起长大的 I grew up with her.
我的童年真的很不易 Not that it was easy.
当时我就是个书呆子 I was a total nerd.
身边没有朋友 No friends.
同学甚至投票推选我为"最丑霉女" The kids at school even voted me "Most butt."
什么 What?!
我才是最丑霉女 她是最受欢迎的 I was "Most butt"! She was "Most popular"!
有次我去别人家过夜 Once had a sleepover.
那些受欢迎的孩子把我的头发剪了 The popular girls cut off my hair.
-你个贱人 -我伤心地哭啊哭 - You! Oh! - I cried and cried.
当时唯一可以安慰我的 The only thing that could comfort me
就是我妈妈做的法式洋葱汤 was my maman's French onion soup.
在29页上 Page 29.
-那明明是我的故事 -要做洋葱... - That was my story. - Cook onion...
除了她说的什么汤的部分 Expect for the soup part.
我还记得我是借饼干和可乐消愁的 As I recall, I pity-binged on SnackWell's and Crystal Pepsi.
但是除此之外 你能相信吗 But other than that, can you believe this?!
那个贱人竟然偷用我的故事 Huh?! That bitch stole my life!
谢谢 非常感谢大家 Merci. Merci beaucoup.
现在大家有什么问题尽管问吧 And now I'd like to open it up for all of your questions.
麦克沃特斯太太 Ms. McWatters,
我想问一下你什么时候... I'd like to ask about the time --
我有个问题 科琳 Yeah. I have a question, Corynn.
做个胖子大骗子是什么感觉 What does it feel like to be a big fat liar?!
首先 显然我不是个胖子 For starters, I'm certainly not fat.
别装傻了 大骗子 Hey! You heard me! Liar!
-伊莉莎 -你还是那么惹火 - Eliza! - You still look super hot.
你还记得我吗 Do you remember me?
保安 Security!
-交给我 我来 交给我 -离我远点 - I got her! She's mine! I got her! - Get away from me!
不要挡路 科琳 Just get out of my way! Corynn...
如果你被选为最丑霉女 If you were voted "Most butt,"
那最受欢迎的人是谁 难道是我吗 then who was voted "Most popular," Huh? Me?
说啊 科琳 我真的很想知道 Come on, Corynn. I really wanna know.
她说的故事是我的 我是科琳·麦克沃特斯 Those are my stories! I'm Corynn McWatters!
我才是科琳 Uhh! I'm Corynn!
只要她一走出来 我就跟她撕逼 The second she walks out, I'm gonna jump her.
我要跟她撕逼 你拦不住我的 I'm gonna jump her! You can't stop me!
她不会跟人撕逼的 先生 She's not jumping anyone, sir.
只要她不在店里面跟她撕逼就行 As long she doesn't jump her inside the store,
别的我不管 we're good.
你是个成年人了 你不能去跟人撕逼 You are a grown woman. You are not jumping anyone.
科琳就是个大骗子 Corynn is a lying monster!
所以我才说她不是个好模范啊 Which is exactly why I said she's not a good role model.
从你告诉我的事中 This is consistent
我早就听出来了 with everything you've told me about her.
我不懂你为什么一副很吃惊的样子 I can't fathom why you're so surprised.
亨利 我现在不需要你说对什么知道吗 Henry, I don't need you to be right right now, okay?
好 Okay.
科琳告诉我 我的一切都是错误的 Corynn has taught me that everything about myself is wrong --
我走路的样子 The way I walked,
我说话的样子 the way I talked,
我所穿的衣服 the way I dressed.
我真的很努力 And I-I worked really hard
去改变那个人 to change that person.
去不做那个人 To not be that person.
可是然后她却...偷了那个人的故事 And then she... she stole that person.
人年轻的时候 When you're young,
总是喜欢假装成别人的样子 everybody pretends to be something they're not.
我以前还跟别人说我爸发明了维可牢尼龙搭扣 I used to tell people my dad invented velcro.
我跟人说过我擅长玩滑板 I used to tell people I was good at skateboarding
其实不是 even though I wasn't.
我觉得这样说会让我很酷 I thought it made me seem cool.
你才不酷 You're not cool.
是啊 No.
我就没有酷过 I never was.
但是她很酷 But she is.
门开着 It's open!
竟然开着 It's open?
我真心希望你以后不要这样了 I really wish you wouldn't do that.
否则随便什么人都能进来 Somebody could come right in here.
科琳·麦克沃特斯已经 There's nothing anyone can take
把我的一切都偷走了 没什么可偷的了 that hasn't already been taken by Corynn McWatters
除了我在网上买的这瓶水晶百事 except for this crystal Pepsi that I bought on eBay.
真不敢相信我眼前的景象 I can't believe what I'm seeing.
谁说不是啊 这个才80块 I know, right? It only cost $80.
80块 好吧 这个我们回头再说 $80? All right, we're -- we're gonna come back to that.
真不敢相信你竟然要让科琳·麦克沃特斯 I can't believe you're letting Corynn McWatters
轻易逃脱了 get away with this.
那我该怎么办 她可是科琳·麦克沃特斯 What am I supposed to do? She's Corynn McWatters.
而你是伊莉莎·杜丽啊 And you're Eliza Dooley.
你可是那个 You are the same girl
在恩西诺的家庭派对上给瑞恩·高斯林[演员]的表兄 who gave Ryan Gosling's cousin a lap dance
跳大腿舞的人啊 at a house party in Encino.
还是说那是另一个伊莉莎·杜丽 Or was that some other Eliza Dooley?
不 那就是我 No. That was me.
那会儿你那样做肯定需要很大的勇气吧 I-I imagine that required a fair amount of bravery on your part.
确实 当时音乐都没有 Oh. It did. There was no music on.
当时的那个姑娘去哪里了 Okay, then. Where's that girl?
就在这里 Right here.
就是这样 Yeah!
这就对了 Whoo! Yeah!
行了 Okay.
行了 行了 行了 This is -- okay. All right. All -- okay.
你的腿... Your leg is...
我不是让你给我跳大腿舞 I don't want you to give me a lap dance.
我是想让你不要自怨自艾了 I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself
自己为自己争取吧 and start standing up for yourself.
你有很多可以引以为傲的事 You have a lot to be proud of.
-对 -是吧 - Yeah. - Yeah!
我还跟麦克默[歌手]贴身热舞过 I also dry humped Macklemore.
美美睡了一觉 After a good night's sleep
又多吃了强效泰诺止痛片之后 and some extra strength tylenol,
我决定去找科琳 I decided to approach Corynn
跟她进行一场冷静理智的对话 and have a calm, rational conversation about
谈谈她怎么是个大贱人 what a trifling-ass bitch she was.
你们俩公平斗争 去吧 Okay, I want a fair fight. Okay.
她的孩子都在 你说话注意点 去吧 Her kids are nearby, so nothing below the belt. Go.
你好 科琳 Hi, Corynn.
还记得我吗 Remember me?
你不就是那个昨晚被撵出读书会的疯子吗 Aren't you the crazy woman who was escorted out of my reading last night?
正是她 不好意思 Yes, she is. Sorry.
但我也是伊莉莎 But I'm also Eliza.
伊莉莎·杜丽 Eliza Dooley.
最丑霉女 "Most butt."
伊莉莎 是你啊 Eliza? Wow.
自打我当了母亲后就没这么说过了 I haven't said this since I became a mother,
-但是我xx 你看起来真不错啊 -我知道 - but holy xxx, you look amazing. - I know.
你就跟变了一个人一样 You're like a totally different person.
不 你才是变了一个人 No, you are a totally different person.
具体来说 是变成我了 Specifically, my person.
更具体来说 是变成以前的我了 More specifically, the person I used to be.
再具体一点的话 就是你偷了她的故事 To be, uh, super specific, you stole her identity.
根据我们州的法律 Which, depending on the state,
你罪行可至三级轻罪 is anything from a first-degree felony
到一级重罪 to a third-degree misdemeanor.
所以你趁早跟你的孩子道别吧 科琳 So kiss your kids goodbye, Corynn.
你要去坐牢了 You're going to prison.
她...她不会因此坐牢的 She's -- she's not going to prison.
会犯罪的那是另一种身份盗窃 That's a different kind of identity theft.
她脑子一直都不好使 She was never that bright.
这个主意糟透了 This was a really bad idea.
我们还是快点走吧 Let's just get out of here.
-伊莉莎 -不不 - Eliza...- No, no.
抱歉我偷了你那个悲惨的 I'm sorry I stole your sad-sack,
最丑霉女事件 "Most butt" nonexistence.
没关系 谢谢 科琳 Apology accepted. Thanks, Corynn.
但是我比你更需要那个背景故事 But I just need that backstory more than you do.
不会有人想听一个以前刻薄但是依然美丽的人 No one wants life lessons and dinner planning ideas
说什么生活教训晚餐计划的 from a still-gorgeous former mean girl.
就是以前刻薄吗 Former mean girl?
你刚吐槽了科琳·麦克沃特斯 You just burned Corynn McWatters!
现在你试试 Now you try.
科琳 Hey, Corynn,
你说的什么简易晚餐计划 your quick-and-easy dinner ideas
既不简单也不容易 are neither quick nor easy.
昨晚我试过了 I tried to make one last night,
简直费足了时间 而且做出来就跟狗屎一样 and it took me forever and it tasted like crap.
你其实是吐槽了自己 不过精神可嘉 That's more of a burn on you, but really good try! Yeah!
我成功了 我搞定了科琳·麦克沃特斯 I did it. I handled Corynn McWatters.
现在轮到亨利做点什么了 And now there was something Henry needed to do.
一 One...
二 Two...
上啊 哥们 Do it, bro!
尽管下去吧 耶 Just drop in! Whoo!
快点下去吧 Yeah. Come on. Do it.
要是我死了怎么办 What if I die?
要是死不了呢 What if you live?
说得对 那好 Right. Yeah.
还是不行 No. Didn't work.
好 我数三下 然后就跑过去 Okay, on the count of three, I'm -- I'm just gonna run up
推你下去 好吗 and I'm gonna push you in, okay?
-你不能那样 -推他一把 要去滑要么死 - No, you can't do that! - Push him! Ride ot die!
-对 -不行 - Yeah! - No!
一 One!
-加油 -二 - Come on! - Two!
三 Three!
天哪 Oh, God!
天哪 亨利 Oh, my God! Henry!
我成功滑下来了 I did it!
可是我的骨头好像都摔断了 I think I broke every bone in my body.
快给我冰敷一下啊 Somebody get me a frosty!
我为亨利感到骄傲 好像每个人 I was proud of Henry, and it seemed like everyone
都在尝试新鲜的事物 was traveling outside of their comfort zone.
琳达 你那是法式编辫吗 Linda, is that a French braid?
是啊 我决定尝试点不同的风格 Yeah. I decided to try something different.
我觉得她的书真是太鼓舞人心了 I just find her so incredibly inspiring.
她的背景很凄惨 Apparently, she comes from a very ugly background,
但是她克服了一切 最后变得性感又成功 and she overcame all of that to be hot and successful.
你看过这本书吗 Did you read it?
岂止是看过 这本书基本就是我写的 Read it? Hell, I practically wrote it.
我不需要满世界去找什么 I didn't need to search the world
积极向上的女性楷模 for a positive female role model
发际线比马德琳·奥尔布赖特的还健康 with a more robust hairline than Madeleine Albright.
我已经有一个了 I already had one.
13岁的我肯定不会相信 13-year-old me would have never believed it.
我超越了自己的预期 I had surpassed expectations
长大后有份炫酷的工作 有个性感的男友 and grown up to have a hot boyfriend and a cool job.
13岁的我肯定会为自己骄傲 13-year-old me would be really proud.
现在我该告诉13岁时候的我 And now it was time to show 13-year-old me
我也为她骄傲 that I was proud of her, too.
你...你干什么呢 亲爱的 What -- what the hell, baby?
你喜欢吗 Do you like it?
你真是疯了 You're crazy.
那是你吗 Is that you?
一点都不好笑 真的 It's not funny. It's not.
别这样 还是...有点好笑的 Oh, come on. It's -- it's a little funny.
是啊 可能确实有点好笑 Yeah, maybe it's a little funny.
她是怎样一个人 What's her deal, huh?
她喜欢什么 What's she into?
我也不知道 I don't know.
邻居新来的小孩还有...菲比[动画人物] New kids on the block and...Furby.
是吗 Yeah?
那... Well...
你觉得她想让一个帅哥带她去演唱会吗 Think she might like a cute boy to take her to concert sometime?
她肯定会高兴到尿裤子的 I think she would literally crap her pants.
那就让她多带条换洗的裤子 Then tell her to bring a change of pants.
那晚我梦到明年的"药业杰出女性"早午餐了 That night, I dreamt about next year's "Women in pharma" brunch,
我做得非常好 which I would def be at.
谁知道我会激励多少其他女人呢 Because who knows how many other women I could inspire?
这是你的新口号 That's your new mantra.
无所畏惧
这口号不错 That's a good mantra.
你女朋友呢 Where's your G.F.?
伊莉莎吗 她不是我的女朋友 只是朋友而已 Eliza? Oh, she's not my G.F. She's just my F.
你跟她上过床吗 You ever hook up with her?
没有 No.
但是我见过她的裸体 But I once saw her naked.
-漂亮 -棒 - All right! - Yeah!
等等 Wait.
你都看到她的裸体了竟然没跟她上床 You saw her naked but you didn't hook up with her?
说好的"无所畏惧"呢 What happened to "No fear"?
那会儿我还没有这个呢 That's before I had this.
-下次我会做好准备的 -对 这才对嘛 - Next time, I'll be ready. - Yeah, right. Nice.