欢迎来到兄弟屋 Welcome to the Bro House,
在这永不散场派对里 唯一的要求就是没有要求 a nonstop party where the only rule is bro rule.
兄弟屋
你问我们是谁 And who are we?
兄弟屋
津恩 Zinn.
津恩
撕裂
怀亚特
Wyatt.
怀亚特
兄弟们的火辣夏日
汤姆猫两步挑战
#永远的死党
白爪汽水 漏斗挑战
干了 干了 Chug, chug, chug!
观看人数
詹姆斯
James.
詹姆斯
巴利
Barry.
巴利
打分6/10 - 津恩
巴利
打分6/10 - 津恩
巴利
打分6/10 - 津恩
巴利
打分6/10 - 津恩
狂欢作乐 无拘无束 No excuses. No limits.
狂欢作乐
无拘无束
这就是我们的口号 That's what we say around here.
我们的风格 That's how we roll.
我们不屑于与普罗大众做同样的疯事 We're not gonna do all the crazy shit that everyone else is doing.
要做就做得更疯狂 We're gonna go crazier.
做得更完美 We're gonna be better.
更完美
大家好 我是你们的朋友津恩 What's up, everybody? It's your boy Zinn.
津恩 "坏小子"
今年二十六岁 别人都说我是坏小子 Uh, I'm 26. I am bad news, they say.
我们都在兄弟屋里 We are here in the Bro House.
你或许会问 兄弟屋是什么 What is the Bro House, you may be asking?
就是我和其他三位最好的朋友 Well, it's just me and my three best homeys
住在这个屌炸天的地方 做些疯事 living in this dope-ass place doing crazy shit together.
嗨翻天
疯魔
反正怎么舒服怎么活 Whatever feels good, you know?
兄弟屋禁止打盹儿
欢迎来到兄弟屋 Welcome to the Bro House!
无拘 无束 No limits, no boundaries.
我们 的 风格
这就是我们的口号 That's just the way we roll around here.
总之 越疯魔 越快活 I mean, the crazier the better.
冰桶挑战
冰桶挑战来了 The Ice Bucket Challenge.
操你妈 贱人 Fuck you, little bitch!
我们为什么要和别人做一样的事 Why we gonna do what everyone else is doing?
尽情享受 兄弟情
怀亚特 "少女杀手"
大家好 我是怀亚特 Hi, I'm Wyatt.
二十七岁 来自新港海滩 27. I'm from Newport Beach.
加利福尼亚州 新港海滩
喜欢一边喝酒一边冲浪 I like to drink and surf, always at the same time.
我很懒散 人们都觉得 I'm the laid-back guy. People like to think and say
我行为迟缓 其实并不是 that it means I'm slow, but I'm not.
做网红之前 我是医学预科生 Um, before I was an influencer, I was premed.
我本来还有机会成为你的医生 Uh, I could've been your doctor.
早上好 准备好接受胸部检查了吗 Good morning. Are you ready for your breast exam?
还不错吧 That's good, right?
别这样 来吧 Don't do that. Come on.
大家好哟 我叫巴利 二十八岁 来自康涅狄格州 Yo, yo, yo. I'm Barry, 28. From Connecticut.
巴利 "3.8 绩点"
我算是个技术人员 I'm kind of the tech guy.
死宅警告
负责兄弟屋的设施管理 还有帮忙灭火 I keep things moving around here. Put out the fires.
保鲜膜挑战 The Saran Wrap Challenge.
保鲜膜挑战
这个房子已经被烧了两次了 Literally, they almost burned down the house twice.
我主要从事幕后工作 I'm-I'm behind the camera, mostly.
津恩给我配的活 我... Zinn decided that, and I'm...
我很喜欢 I'm totally cool with it.
枕头武林大战
詹姆斯 "靓仔"
兄弟姐妹们好 我是詹姆斯 Guys and gals, I'm James.
今年二十五岁 Uh, I'm 25.
绝赞舞步
他们邀请我搬进来时我还挺懵的 I couldn't believe it when the guys asked me to move in here.
我之前也有自己的油管账号 I-I had my own YouTube channel back in Florida
缺德舅 男士润唇膏 测评[美国连锁超市]
在弗罗里达州爸妈的房子里做男性美妆测评 at my parents' house reviewing beauty products for guys,
但兄弟屋比在家爽多了 but this is way better.
我绝对不会离开这里 I mean, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
这儿有美酒 派对 美女 The drinking, the partying, the girls.
美酒
派对
尤其是美女 Definitely the girls.
女人永远不嫌多 Can never have enough girls around.
数不清的美女
津恩 怀亚特和我... 四口之家... Zinn, Wyatt and me... the fam...
都已经是奔三的年纪了 We're, like, pushing 30,
对网红来说 就算是四十岁了 which is, like, 40 in influencer years.
爆红多年之后 You get up there in years,
你在观众眼里就是个小透明了 you become invisible to the audience.
再见
我们的重点是订阅量 And it's all about the subscriptions
订阅
点赞数 还有努力保持良好数据 and the likes, and to get those and keep 'em,
干这行不进则退 you got to keep riding the edge.
至少津恩是这么说的 Least, that's what Zinn says.
距离圣诞节还有五天
兄弟们 我们终于等到了 Yo, guys. Think we actually got someone.
什么 在哪里 What? Where?
操 我看到他了 Oh, shit, I see him.
真是天赐良机 It's a Christmas miracle.
哥们 我早就说过只要一直守着 Dude, I told you if we hung out long enough,
就能看到有人跳桥 这就是自杀桥 兄弟 we'd spot a jumper. It's Suicide Bridge, bro.
哥们 很多人都在节日了结自己 Dude, a lot of people, they spiral around the holidays.
可能他只是出来散步而已 What if he's just out walking?
这个时间点在桥上 还穿的跟我爸一样吗 On a bridge at this time dressed like my dad?
哥们 我要是跟他一样 我早就跳了 Dude, if I looked like that, I'd want to jump, too!
我们还是报警吧 Maybe we should call the police.
为什么要报警 Call the police?
哥们 警察跑得再快也来不及了 Dude, they'd never get here in time.
那个人已经准备要起飞了 The dude's ready to fly!
津恩 我们不能袖手旁观 Zinn, we can't just sit here
眼睁睁看着别人自杀 这是不对的 and watch somebody kill themselves. It's wrong.
巴利 我们不会袖手旁观的 We're not just gonna sit here, Barry.
我们要拍下来 We're gonna record it.
他想怎么死是他的自由 He wants to go out this way, it's his God-given right.
操 他跨过栏杆了 Shit, he's climbing over the side.
兄弟们 快点 快拍下来 Dude. Dude, dude, dude, come on. Come on. Get... Let's go.
镜头对准他 我们在这干坐了十六小时 Get the camera on him. We've been here 16 hours.
这一幕一定不能错过 We're not missing this.
来吧 大家好 All right, yo.
大家好 你们的朋友津恩 What's up, everybody? It's your boy Zinn.
我现在和怀亚特 詹姆斯和巴利在一起 I'm here with Wyatt, James and Barry.
你们绝不敢相信 You guys are not gonna believe this.
-太疯狂了 -桥上那个人 - This is crazy. - This dude is about to take
打算跳桥自杀 我们将要目睹这一切 a permanent vacation, and we are here to see it.
他有没有胆子跳下来呢 Now, will he have the balls?
我也不知道 让我们来一探究竟吧 I don't know. We're about to find out.
兄弟屋 Bro House. Bro House.
兄弟屋 Bro House. Bro House. Bro House.
兄弟屋 Bro House!
兄弟屋 Bro House! Bro House!
兄弟屋 Bro House! Bro House! Bro House!
兄弟屋 Bro House! Bro House!
该死 Oh, shit!
-我的天呐 -太疯狂了 - Oh, my God! - This is crazy!
拍到了吗 刚跳下去那幕 Did you get that? That just happened.
我们必须为这个家伙鼓掌 Yo, we got to give it up for this dude.
他以自己想要的方式 像大老板那样死去 He went out like a boss! The way he wanted.
狂欢作乐 无拘无束 No excuses. No limits.
兄弟们 我们不能上传这个 Guys, we can't actually post this.
为什么不 这已经发生了 Why not? It happened.
兄弟 这是获得百万粉丝 站上巅峰的捷径 It's an easy million-subscriber spike, bro.
或强烈抵制 Or a serious backlash.
那你怎么不在我们苦守长夜之前提出来呢 Why didn't you say something before we spent all night here?
这段视频肯定要发 兄弟 太疯狂了 This is getting posted, dude. It's crazy.
他的尸体就躺在那里的某处 Hey, his body landed over there somewhere.
我们应该过去拍尸体 We should film it.
-混蛋 你疯啦 -我们去拍吧 - You crazy bastard. - Let's film it.
-不 什么鬼 -兄弟 - No. What? - Bro.
我们已经拍到他自杀的视频了 我们不需要... We already filmed a dude killing himself. Like...
-一百万粉丝 -拜托 一百万诶 - A million subscribers. - Come on. Million.
你不想要吗 You don't want that?
看他的表情 Look at his face.
去吧 你忍心吗 Come on. We can't not listen to that.
赶紧 走吧 Come on. Come on. Come on.
詹姆斯 James?
就该这样 That's right.
冲啊 宝贝们 走 Come on, baby. Come on, baby!
我的圣诞愿望
就是酩酊大醉
老兄 别在跟踪我们了 #圣诞老人跟踪狂
我们就是要破坏圣诞节!!!
这位老兄一路跟踪到家…
这里面一定有人
这他妈是谁!?
第一季 第 4 集
"淘气鬼"
♪ 听到那些雪橇铃铛的叮当声 ♪ ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling ♪
♪ 铃声也像个不停 ♪ ♪ Ring tingle tingling, too ♪
♪ 铃叮咚 铃叮咚 ♪ ♪ Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding ♪
♪ 来吧 真是个好天气 ♪ ♪ Come on, it's lovely weather ♪
♪ 为了和你一起坐雪橇 ♪ ♪ For a sleigh ride together with you ♪
♪ 铃叮咚 铃叮咚 ♪ ♪ Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding ♪
♪ 外面的雪正在飘落 ♪ ♪ Outside, the snow is falling ♪
♪ 而朋友们都在叫 "哟嗬..." ♪ ♪ And friends are calling "Yoo-hoo..." ♪
上传之前再三思 Think about it before you upload it.
兄弟 你少说点黛比·唐纳[形容扫兴的梗]的屁话 Man, you got to cut the Debbie Downer shit.
还叫警察 你认真的吗 I mean, call the police? Are you serious?
对 一颗老鼠屎坏了一锅粥 Yeah, but all it takes is one bad post.
看看 罗根泡 霹雳火或是帕特·斯塔[均为美国恶臭网红] Look at Logan Paul or PewDiePie or Patt Starr.
兄弟 那些人还在做视频割韭菜 Dude, all those people are still doing their shit,
而且他们还获得了更多粉丝 and they've got more subscribers than ever.
你还活在旧时代吧 You're living in ancient times.
我们已经过了"查理咬我的手指[早年家庭喜剧]"的阶段了 伙计 We're past "Charlie Bit My Finger," man.
人们想看他们从未体验过的东西 People want to see what they've never seen before.
尤其是我们快三十岁了 已经不再是小毛孩了 Especially because we're closer to 30 than we are 20.
你见过其他三十岁的人当网红吗 You see a lot of 30-year-olds doing this shit?
-没有 -对吧 - No. - No.
如果我们要博关注 那就需要提升内容 If we want the views, we got to up the content,
要么只能跟现在这一切说再见了 or we say bye-bye to all this.
兄弟屋需要你的支持 The Bro House needs your voice.
只要你愿意 那就会很搞笑 You're funny when you want to be.
答应我 你会再次散发魅力 Promise me you're gonna get your mojo back.
向我保证 Promise!
好吧 我试试 Okay. I'll work on it.
我爱你 I love you.
我不傻 我知道在干什么 I know what I'm doing. I'm not an idiot.
兄弟屋 Bro House!
好吧 我走另一个楼梯 Yeah, I'll take the other stairs.
为我们的主办人之一 津恩 Let's give it up for one of our hosts, Zinn
还有兄弟屋来点掌声吧 and the Bro House!
兄弟会 兄弟会 兄弟会 Bro House! Bro House! Bro House!
兄弟会 兄弟会 Bro House! Bro House!
兄弟会 Bro House!
兄弟会 兄弟会 Bro House! Bro House!
记住 如果想在假日充满能量 And remember, if you need to keep that holiday energy up,
那就释放克拉肯[挪威传说北海巨妖] just release the Kraken!
兄弟屋的官方赞助商 Official sponsors of Bro House.
好了 再过十秒 兄弟屋就要发布新帖子了 Okay, in ten seconds, the next Bro House post goes up,
据说这是最疯狂的一次 and I'm told it's the craziest ever!
-没错 -让我们一起倒数 - That's right! - Let's do the count.
十 Ten.
兄弟屋新帖子发布
九 八 Nine. Eight.
七 六 五 Seven. Six. Five.
四 三 Four. Three.
二 一 Two. One.
视频上传中…
大家好 你们的朋友津恩 What's up, everybody? It's your boy Zinn.
我现在和怀亚特 詹姆斯和巴利在一起 I'm here with Wyatt, James and Barry.
你们绝不敢相信 You guys are not gonna believe this.
-太疯狂了 -桥上那个人 - This is crazy. - This dude
将要放长假了 is about to take a permanent vacation,
我们将要目睹这一切 and we are here to see it.
我们今晚会达到四百万 我有预感 Yo, we're gonna hit four mil tonight. I can feel it!
-去他的四百万 起码五百万 -兄弟会 - Fuck four mil. I say five mil. - Bro House!
-五百万 -五百万 - Five mil. - Five mil.
五百万 Five mil. Five mil.
五百万 Five mil! Five mil!
-该死 -五百万 - Oh, shit! - Five mil! Five mil!
-五百万 -拍到了吗 - Five mil! Five mil! - Did you get that?
- 五百万 -太疯狂了 - Five mil! Five mil! - This is crazy!
-刚跳下去那幕 -五百万 - That just happened. - Five mil! Five mil!
五百万 Five mil!
我们必须为这个家伙鼓掌 I mean, we got to give it up for the guy.
他以自己想要的方式 He went out like a boss!
像大老板那样死去 狂欢作乐 无拘无束 The way he wanted. No excuses. No limits.
真爷们 That's how you do it.
这简直是个噩梦 Yo, this is a nightmare.
怎么了 What?
数据显示我们又损失了五万关注 It says we're down another 50,000 followers.
也许是我们看错了 Maybe you're reading it wrong.
哥们儿 我可没看错 Dude, I'm not. I'm not reading it wrong.
我们在疯狂掉粉 We're cratering. Hard.
他们不爱看跳桥视频 They didn't like the jumper.
我不敢看评论... 他们说了什么 I'm too afraid to read it. I... Tell me, what'd they say?
别 还是别告诉我了 No, don't tell me.
算了 说吧 No, tell me.
"你们太疯狂了" "You guys are sick."
-没错 我就是这么说的 -不是 - Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. - No.
怀亚特 是贬义的那种 Not good sick, Wyatt. Bad sick.
是那种我们得去心理治疗什么的 Like we need therapy or something.
这条评论说"你们以这个男的痛苦而获得赞 This one says, "You exploited this man's pain to get likes.
你们该被封杀" You should be banned from the Internet."
"希望你去死吧" "I hope you die." "Do the world a favor
"行行好 跟着这个人跳下桥吧" and follow the guy off the bridge." I mean...
哥们儿 这是恶评 That's hostile, bro.
这已经算说得比较好听的了 Yeah, and this is the nice stuff.
我简直不敢相信 巴利说得对 Barry was right. I can't believe it.
明天 人们都不会记得这件事了 By tomorrow, people won't even remember it.
他们会记得的 Oh, they'll remember.
"兄弟屋玩过火"的话题已经上了推特热搜 The "Bro House is over party" hashtag is trending on Twitter,
也已经出现了 and there's a petition on Change.org
让我们关掉频道的请愿书 to have our channels shut down.
已经募集到了四十万的签名 It's already at 400,000 signatures.
见鬼 Fuck.
还有更糟的 死者的家属 It gets worse. The dead man's family
今天下午要开新闻发布会谴责我们 is holding a press conference this afternoon to denounce us.
我的天 谴责我们什么 Jesus Christ, what?
说我们为了博眼球毫无下限 Attention whores.
事情正在愈演愈烈 一切只会变得更糟糕 I mean, it's just gaining speed. It's only gonna get worse.
怎么才能让事态平息 How can we stop it?
也许我们可以录个道歉视频 Maybe we make an apology video.
不不不 这可不行 No. No. No. We're not doing that.
所有这么做的人都被骂死了 All the people who do that, they get ripped apart.
说他们装哭 假惺惺 They're accused of fake crying, and they don't mean it,
接着更多的人讨厌他们 我们不能变成这样 and then they get more hate. We're not doing that.
好吧 不过我们得做点什么 Okay, but we have to do something.
知道我是怎么想的吗 All right, you know what I think?
知道吗 You know what I think?
我们得变成基佬 We got to go gay.
-什么 -不是真搞基 - What? - Not full gay.
感觉就是 "同星"... "同性..." Like, um, "homey" something. "Homo..."
-同性恋 -同性... 没错 - Homeysexual. - Homose... Yeah.
对 就是同性恋 Okay. Homeysexual. That's it.
没错 现在有这种运动 Yeah, it's, like, a movement or something
超越了异性恋的范畴 transcending heterosexual norms.
我听说过 Yeah, I heard about it.
婊子们会喜欢... Chicks dig it when guys...
男人们之间的恋爱 are, like, affectionate and stuff.
谁他妈告诉你这种东西的 Who the fuck told you that?
我自己读到的 I read about it somewhere.
我们现在在说些啥 Wh-What are we talking about right now?
兄弟 直装弯 说些基佬的屁话 Dude, hetero guys acting gay, saying gay shit,
不过从始至终 都是直男 but all the time, they're not gay.
你要做的就是 All you got to do is say "no homo"
做完什么事之后加一句"我不是同性恋" 就完事了 after you do something, and then you're cool.
兄弟们 我不认可 Yeah, I don't know, guys.
听起来感觉又要出事 This just smells like another train wreck.
没错 这次我站巴利 Yeah. Uh, for once, I'm gonna agree with Barry on this one.
这么做也是在利用别人 还可能冒犯某些人 It's exploitative, and it's probably offensive.
会冒犯同性恋 性转群体 这不太好 Very offensive to gays, LBTRs. It's harmful.
真的不好 Hurtful.
可我觉得现在我们就该这么做 I don't know, I think this is the kind of thing we need.
我.. 我们以前从没这么做过 I... We've never tried it before.
-我加入 -太好了 就该这样 - I'm in. - Nice. Yes, that's right.
-我就知道 -为什么 - There's a shock. - Why?
就因为我以前做男性美妆博主吗 'Cause I used to review male beauty products?
-你自己说的 -所以呢 - You said it. - So?
什么鬼 Oh, what the hell?
不会吧 No way.
喂 喂 Hey! Hey!
-你们在做什么 -喂 - Excuse me! Uh, what are you doing? - Hey!
喂 Hey!
你们在做什么 Uh, wh-what are you doing?
-我们来把东西带走 -带走什么东西 - We're here to grab the stuff. - Grab what stuff?
公司说跟你们解约了 The company said they suspended your contract,
让我们来把宣传道具带回去 and they sent us to collect the promotional materials,
包括那辆兰博基尼 including this and the Lamborghini.
你刚说了"兰博基尼"对吧 Did you just say "the Lamborghini"?
我们要下海了 We're going gay.
宅 家 过 节
哥们儿 你的六块腹肌太棒了 Rocking that six-pack, dude.
非同 No homo.
性感的六块腹肌 Sexy six-pack, bro.
-非同 非同 -谢了哥们儿 - No homo. No homo. - Thanks, bro.
说真的 你的六块腹肌太性感了 Seriously, your six-pack is sexy, bro.
-非同 -谢了兄弟 九 - No homo. - Thanks, bro. Nine.
-你太性感了 -十 - Seriously, you're shredded, man. - Ten.
我要不是异性恋的话 If I wasn't into chicks,
一定会把持不住 I'd have to hold myself back.
非同 No homo.
你太性感了 Seriously, you're shredded, dude.
我要不是异性恋的话 If I wasn't into chicks,
一定会把持不住 I'd have to hold myself back, man.
非同 No homo. No homo.
怀亚特 我们都知道你是直的 Wyatt, we all know you're not gay. You don't need
不用每六秒就强调一次"非同" to keep saying "no homo" every six seconds.
我只是想把这句话录进去 Yeah, I'm just getting it on the record, okay?
我爸也会看这视频的 My dad watches this shit, yo.
非同 No homo.
一 One.
二 Two.
三 Three.
兄弟节快乐
棒极了 Oh, yeah.
-力道够吗 -太棒了 哥们儿 - You got enough there? - That feels so good, dude.
-再往下一点 -好嘞 - Go a little lower. Ooh. - Got it.
老兄 那我呢 Hey, guys, who's gonna do me?
兄弟 你得排队 Hey, man. Get in line.
猛男也落泪
-我超爱这个 -太棒了 老兄 - I love this. - So good, man.
好极了 So good.
糟糕 我脏了 Whoa! I made a mess.
-兄弟 我们得帮你清理干净 -天啊 - Dude, I guess we got to clean it up for you. - Oh, no.
-得罪了 -这太… - Excuse me. - Oh. Oh, it's so...
给我留点 Hey, save some for me.
-这太绝了 -我喜欢开心果味的 - Mmm, that's awesome. - I love pistachio.
什么鬼 What?
"啥玩意儿" 小帐篷撑起来了 "What"? He has a full-on chubby.
不是 我没有... Oh, no, I don't. Um, I...
是我短裤上的褶皱 It-It's a fold in my shorts.
去你的短裤 我一眼就看出这他妈是勃起 Fold my ass. I know a fucking boner when I see one.
非同 非同 No homo. No homo.
你们谁想了解最近评论 Anyone want an update?
当然 说吧 Sure, why not.
-又掉了五万粉丝 -见鬼 - Another 50,000 subs are gone. - Shit.
再掉数百粉 我们就不能盈利了 100 more and our monetization drops another tier.
兄弟们 我们可能会失去房子 We could lose the house, guys.
看来腐女们都挽救不了 So much for chicks liking homeysexuals.
♪ 铃儿响 铃儿响 铃儿响叮当… ♪ ♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock... ♪
-嘿 小伙子们 -嘿 - Hi, boys. - Hey.
嘿 Hey.
非同 No homo!
搞什么 What?
♪ 寒冷的空气中… ♪ ♪ In the frosty air... ♪
我还不到三十岁 但我的人生完了 I'm not even 30, and my life is over.
我们最早是怎么开始的 When we first started doing this, what'd we do?
我们四处玩乐 干了很多事 We went around having a good time, taking things over.
在社交舞会捣乱 Crashing that debutante ball
或者把塔娜·蒙若[诈骗网红]的家刷成粉色 or painting Tana Mongeau's house pink.
试着挑战穿内裤飞出洛杉矶国际机场 Or trying to fly out of LAX in our underwear.
-黑历史啊 -确实很蠢 - Don't remind me. - Yeah, it was dumb,
但大家喜欢那些视频 他们喜欢我们 but people liked those videos. They liked us.
或许我们应该回到起点 Like, maybe we need to get back to our roots.
今天是圣诞节 It's Christmas.
大家都出门采购了 我们也出去做回自己吧 People are out shopping. Let's go out and be ourselves.
而不是一群混账 Not assholes.
不刻薄 不惹人厌 Not edgy. Not piss people off.
就像以前一样 搞笑风 Let's just do what we used to do. Be funny.
也行 That's not bad.
我想这才是大家想看的 I think it's just what the channel needs.
见鬼 今天是圣诞节 Shit. It's Christmas.
我们还有啥损失呢 What do we got to lose?
兄弟屋 Bro House!
看到了吗 我说的就是这个 See? This is what I mean.
圣诞老人和圣诞节 Santa and Christmas.
这种充满快乐的气氛 It's a good vibe. Makes people smile.
好的 我们就拍这个 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got this. It's fine.
津恩 记得我们来这儿的目的吧 Zinn, remember why we're here.
老兄 相信我 Dude, trust me.
这回能保证我们都在镜头里吗 And can you keep us in frame this time?
谢了 老奶奶 Thanks, Grandma.
我的老天 Oh, God.
♪ 叮咚响... ♪ ♪ Ring-a-ling... ♪
告诉圣诞老人 你乖不乖 Tell Santa, have you been naughty or nice?
我一直很乖... I've been nice?
这是唯一的答案 That's the only answer.
朋友们 你们好 Hey, yo, what's up, everybody?
是你们最爱的兄弟屋老朋友 津恩 It's your favorite Bro House dude, Zinn.
我们来这儿圣诞采购 We are out here Christmas shopping
为兄弟屋搞起圣诞气氛 and, uh, getting in the Bro House Christmas spirit.
-永远的兄弟屋 -混蛋们 圣诞快乐 - Bro House forever! - Merry Christmas, fuckers!
没错 永远的兄弟屋 That's right, baby. Foreverz!
-看看今年圣诞老人给我们带了什么 -嘿 - We're gonna see what, uh, Santa's bringing us this year. - Hey.
-好的 那么… -嘿 打扰一下 - Okay, so... - Hey. Hi. Sorry.
-你好吗 -我… 挺好的 - Uh, how you doing? - Uh, I'm-I'm good.
是吗 我们是兄弟屋 Yeah? So, we're the Bro House.
我们想知道 当小精灵的感觉如何 We were wondering, what is it like being an elf?
挺有趣的 Uh, fun, I guess.
你是否只拿了一半薪水 Do you get, like, half pay
因为你小小一只 or something like that because you're half size?
不 我拿全薪 No, I get full pay.
-她可真富有 -瞧 她拿全薪呢 - Ah. She's rich. - Oh, she gets full pay.
等等 你们是兄弟屋吗 Wait, did you say you're the Bro House?
是你们拍了那个自杀视频吗 Were you the guys who filmed that suicide?
不不不 那是别人干的 Oh, no, no, no, that was someone else.
告诉我 关于男精灵的事是真的吗 No. So, tell me, is it true what they say about male elves?
-什么事 -他们屌是不是像驯鹿一样的大 - What? - That they're hung like reindeer?
-朋友们 这儿有孩子呢 -我正在… - Guys, there are kids around. - Look, guys, I'm trying
-工作 所以… -好 我只想问 - to work here, so... - Okay, fine, fine, fine. Just tell me,
-圣诞老人是不是优先挑选貌美如花的精灵 -什么 - does Santa get first pick on elf chicks? - What?
你是不是他的小… 助手 You know, like, uh, are you his little... helper?
够了 你们立马离开这儿 Okay, you guys need to leave now.
我们只是想享受圣诞气氛 Dude, we're just trying to have some Christmas fun.
-我们只是想… -她叫你们离开 - We're just trying to have... - She asked you guys to leave.
现在关手机 离开这儿 Now turn your phones off and go.
-请遵守规矩 -天啊 - Just work the line, hon. - No fucking way.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
难道你们是一对的 Are you guys a thing?
要我叫保安吗 Do I need to call security?
怎么叫 小手机吗 Call security? With what, your smartphone?
-你太搞笑了 -谢谢老兄 - Hey, you're hilarious. - Thanks, man.
-小家伙 -好了 拿上你的... - Hey, little buddy. - Yeah, get your...
-你们很搞笑 -该死 - You're all funny. - Oh, shit.
-你们太搞笑了 简直了 -还给他 - You're hilarious. Oh, so funny. - Give it back to him!
-有意思 -你们该感到羞耻 - Funny. - You should be ashamed of yourselves.
你们快离开这里 Why don't you just get out of here!
你们知道吗 All right, you know what?
孩子们 听好了 听好了 Hey, kids, listen up. Listen up,
因为我有很重要的事要告诉你们 because I got something really important to tell you.
事实上 这是个公益公告 Actually, this is a public service announcement.
完了 Oh, shit.
圣诞老人不是真的 而是你的父母 Santa isn't real. It's just your parents.
是他们给你送玩具 Yeah, they're the ones who bring you your toys.
-是啊 -我知道这很扫兴 - Yeah. - I know it's a bummer,
但我真希望在我像你们这么大时有人能告诉我真相 but I wish someone had told me the truth when I was your age.
这样你们就不用再失望了 It's gonna save you years of disappointment
也不用再接受心理治疗了 不客气 and years of therapy. You're welcome.
-是啊 -对吧 圣诞老宝贝 - Yeah. - Isn't that right, Santa, baby?
滚 蛋 Leave now.
该死 不 哥们 别这样 Shit. No, dude, come on.
-你真淘气 -过来 过来 - You're a naughty boy. - Come on, come on.
-我为什么要滚 圣诞老人 -给他跳个大腿舞 - Why would I leave, Santa? - Give him a lap dance!
-是的 -该死 电臀舞 - Yeah. - Shit. Twerk.
-电臀舞 电臀舞 -给他跳个大腿舞 - Twerk. Twerk. Twerk. Twerk. - Give him a lap dance!
-跳起来 跳起来 -对 没错 - Dance. Dance. Dance. Dance. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
扭起来 Twerk. Twerk. Yeah.
天呐 Jesus.
看来我们今年收不到礼物了 孩子们 Guess we're not getting presents this year, boys.
你会遭报应的 You'll get what you deserve.
伙计们 Oh, guys.
-保安 保安 -该死 - Security. Security! - Oh, shit.
该死 Shit.
走 快跑 Go, go, go, go, go, go.
-我什么都没做 -抓住他们 - I did nothing. - Get 'em. Get 'em!
平安夜
我们回来了 兄弟们 We're back, boys!
我们到家了 We're back home, baby!
真不敢相信我们今天没被关起来 I can't believe we didn't get locked up today.
感谢商场保安 Well, thank God for mall cops.
你看到那个在阿普比餐厅外面 You see that one almost have a heart attack
-差点心脏病发的人了吗 -看到了 - outside Applebee's? - Yeah.
那个圣诞老人呢 Yo, what about that Santa?
他想让我们从地球上消失的表情 The look on his face like he wanted to erase us from the Earth?
看来我们搞砸了他的演出 Guess we messed up his gig.
无所谓了 兄弟屋回归了 Whatever, man. Bro House is back, baby!
-太棒了 -准备好了 - Yeah! - It's ready.
-妈的 -我再说一遍 - Oh, shit. - And I'm just gonna say it again,
五 四 Five. Four.
三 二 一 Three. Two. One.
-新年快乐 -我只想问 圣诞老人是不是 - Happy New Year! - Tell me, does Santa
-优先挑选貌美如花的精灵 -发布了 - get first pick on elf chicks? - It's up, it's up, it's up.
-什么 -你... - What? - You know, like, uh,
你是不是他的小... 助手 are you his little... helper?
-够了 你们立马离开这儿 -天呐 - Okay, you guys need to leave now. - Jesus.
哥们 我们只是想... Dude, we're just trying to have...
我都不记得做过这事 I don't even remember doing that.
-怎么叫保安 用什么 -是啊 - Call security? With what? - Yeah.
老兄 商场是你计划的 This mall thing was your idea, man.
伙计 我没让你们 Dude, it wasn't my idea
性骚扰商场女员工 to sexually harass a female mall employee
羞辱小矮人 or humiliate a little person
或告诉一群孩子圣诞老人不是真的 or tell a bunch of kids that Santa Claus isn't real.
好吧 确实... 事情有点失控了 Okay, so... things got a little crazy.
我们本该弥补一下 Yeah, we were supposed to be making up
为一个摔死的人欢呼的事情的 for cheering for a guy falling to his death.
如果你不喜欢我们的风格 You know, if you don't like how we roll,
也许你不适合兄弟屋 maybe you're not Bro House material.
也许你该搬出去 Maybe you should just move out.
照这样下去 我们都得搬出去 Well, the way we're going, we're all gonna have to move out,
-所以... -看到没 - so... - See?
消极态度 你就做了这点儿 Negative shit. That's all you do.
-就这点儿 -是啊 - All I do? - Yeah.
你以为是谁在拍摄和上传这些垃圾 Who do you think records and uploads all this crap?
我九岁的瞎眼表妹都能做 My blind nine-year-old cousin can do that,
我们还不用给她四分之一的分成 and we wouldn't have to cut her in on one-fourth.
行 那就让你九岁的表妹来做 Okay. Then get your nine-year-old cousin to do this.
兄弟 冷静 冷静 拜托 巴利说得对 Bro, chill. Chill. Come on, Barry's right.
是他让这一切运转起来的 He's the one that keeps the whole thing running.
没人是为了看你而关注兄弟屋 哥们 Nobody clicks on Bro House to see you, dude.
他们是为了看我们 这是事实 They click to see us. That's a fact.
如果真有人看 Okay, well, maybe if people were clicking,
我们就不会像现在一团糟了 we wouldn't be in total shit.
如果不是因为你做的垃圾 Maybe if it wasn't for your shit,
-我们也不会沦落至此 -伙计们 伙计们 - we wouldn't be in this total shit. - Guys, guys, guys.
-你在逗我吗 -行了 冷静点 - Are you kidding me? - Come on. Come on! Chill out.
这是兄弟屋 This is the Bro House.
所谓的"兄弟"就是"兄弟" "Bro" means "brother,"
这不是兄弟该做的 and this isn't what brothers do.
我们有所代表 我们代表好朋友 We stand for something. We stand for good friends
还有操蛋的美好时光 and good fucking times fucking shit up.
这个国家比以往任何时候都更需要这一点 And the country needs that more than ever right now.
这个国家需要垃圾吗 The country needs fucking shit up?
我们得团结一致 We have to stick together.
我们不能让任何事拆散我们 We can't let anything tear us apart.
无论发生什么 No matter what.
伙计们 Uh, hey, guys?
来看看这个 Come check this out.
好了 兄弟 没事的 Okay, bro, it's gonna be fine.
有一些评论 "正当我以为 There are comments. "Just when I thought
兄弟屋已经够差劲时 你们还能更下限" the Bro House couldn't sink any lower, you go and do this."
随便吧 只是一条评论而已 Whatever, man. It's one comment.
不 还有呢 Nope. Here are some more.
"我不知道有没有圣诞老人 "I don't know about Santa Claus,
但你们这帮人就证明了 but you guys are proof
上帝根本不存在 滚蛋去死吧" God doesn't exist. Fuck off and die."
都不用第二部分了 Didn't really need that second part, though.
我们在掉粉 Oh, and we're losing followers.
操 Fuck!
不公平 他们怎么能这样对我 This isn't fair! How can people be so mean?
-没事 没事的 -不 我不能接受 - It's fine. It's fine. - No, no, no, no, no, I can't do this.
我不要回去跟父母一起住 I can't go back to living with my parents.
我爸就是个混蛋 我不回去 My dad's an asshole. I can't.
我看看 Let me see this shit.
没啤酒了吗 Are we out of beer?
-车库里还有一箱 -操 - There's another case in the garage. - Fuck.
我们已经掉这么多粉了吗 Dude, we've lost this many followers already?
我接受不了 I can't handle this.
-怀亚特 -怀亚特 - Wyatt. - Wyatt.
哥们儿 Dude.
操 完了 真的完了 Fuck, this is bad. This is bad.
阿普唑仑[镇静药] Xanax.
-什么 -我要吃阿普唑仑 - What? - I'll OD on Xanax.
-兄弟屋 兄弟屋 -是个不错的死法 - Bro House. Bro House. - That's a good way to go.
兄弟屋 Bro House.
怎么回事 Fuck is going on?
喂 Yo.
我是洛杉矶抢劫凶案组的蒂娜·吉布斯警探 This is Detective Deena Gibbs calling from L. A. Robbery-Homicide.
请问你是 Who am I speaking with?
津恩 怎么了 Uh, Zinn. What's this about?
你是否参与了西洛杉矶一个商场里 Were you a part of an online prank
圣诞老人村的网络恶作剧 at the Santa Village in a mall in West L. A.?
-应该是吧 -你的恶作剧我没兴趣 - Maybe. - I'm not interested in your prank.
但我需要跟你还有你朋友 I need to speak with you and your friends
聊一下扮成圣诞老人的那个人 about the individual who was posing as Santa.
他怎么了 Yeah, what about him?
看来该扮演圣诞老人不是他 It seems he wasn't the man hired for the job.
本该扮演的那个人 死在公寓里 We just found that individual in his apartment.
是谋杀 Murdered.
什么 真的吗 What, are you serious?
等等 没开玩笑吧 Wait, this isn't a joke?
-千真万确 小伙子 -兄弟们 - I'm very serious, son. - Guys.
你跟你朋友明天上午来警局一趟 I need you and your friends to come down to the police station
做个口供 tomorrow morning and give a statement.
好的 我... 我们会去的 U-Um, y-yeah. We can... We can do that, I guess.
据我了解 有人录下了恶作剧全程是吧 I understand, uh, someone was recording the prank?
我要拷贝录像 I need a copy of that video.
或许能帮我们破案 It could help us locate this guy.
我们很确定 他不止一次做这种事了 We're pretty sure this isn't the first time he's done this.
明早警局见 We'll see you at the station in the morning.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
她说其他州也有多起凶杀案 She said there's been other murders in another states,
这家伙在商场里到处逛 杀掉圣诞老人 that this guy actually goes around killing mall Santas
-然后自己顶替 -为什么 - and taking their place. - Why?
因为他疯了 Uh, because he's crazy.
一心想扮成圣诞老人 我瞎说的 Obsessed with being Santa. I don't know.
听起来跟编的似的 This all sounds made up to me.
你确定这不是针对我们的恶作剧吗 Are you sure we're not being pranked?
好吧 明天我们要是去了警局 Well, if we show up to the police station tomorrow
发现他们对我们一无所知 and they don't know what we're talking about,
那我们就知道是恶作剧了 then we were pranked.
-你要干什么 -我想再看看这人的脸 - What are you doing? - I just want to see this guy's face again.
看来我们今年收不到礼物了 孩子们 Guess we're not getting presents this year, boys.
你会遭报应的 You'll get what you deserve.
确实... Yeah, I mean...
他看着确实不太对劲 he definitely doesn't look right.
有人给我们的账号发了个视频 Huh. Someone just uploaded a video to our account.
什么叫"有人" What do you mean, "someone"?
只有我们能上传 We're the only ones that can do that.
什么鬼 The hell?
老天爷 Jesus.
我们在看什么 What the hell are we watching right now?
是恶作剧 怀亚特在跟我们做恶作剧 It's a prank. Wyatt's pranking us.
是吧 Right?
对对对 当然了 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, obviously.
恶作剧还挺逼真的 I mean, it's pretty good.
他真是个混蛋 But he's such an asshole.
可能打电话的那个都不是真警察 天哪... Probably wasn't even a real cop on the phone. God...
津恩 Zinn?
我要跟他谈谈 Dude, I'm gonna talk to him.
我要删了 I'm deleting this.
等一下 看 Wait, look.
已经五十个赞了 That's, like, 50 likes already.
大家还真他妈喜欢这个 People are fucking loving it.
-"棒呆了" -"特效不错" - "That's awesome." - "Great effects."
"终于有点我们喜欢的东西了" "Finally, something we like."
等一下... Wait, wh...
-你干什么 -真变态 - Why'd you do that? - Because it's sick.
我不在乎大家是否喜欢 I don't care if people like it.
又来了 有人重新上传了 It's back up. Someone just reposted it.
谁 Who?
不知道 I don't know.
现在呢 Now what?
有人... 刚发了个链接 Someone just... They just posted a-a link.
这是什么 What the hell is that?
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
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约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
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约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
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约克探险家日报
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来自... "约克探险家日报" It's... from the York Explorer Daily.
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
约克探险家日报
圣诞老人的真相
那是什么 What's that?
怀亚特 哥们 出来 Wyatt, dude, come on.
我们看视频了 We saw the video.
你不能自己发这种视频 You're gonna do something like that,
我们得一起做决定 怀亚特 it's got to be a group call. Wyatt.
出来吧 哥们 这一点都不好玩 Come on, man. It's not cool.
怀亚特 Wyatt!
"现在学者认为圣诞老人的传说 "Scholars now believe that the legend of Santa Claus
并非是以圣·尼古拉斯[基督教圣人] 或其他圣人的故事为基础的 isn't based on Saint Nicholas or any other saint.
而是以古代一个极端分子的故事为基础" It's based on the ancient tales of the wild man."
极端分子 什么玩意儿 The wild man? What kind of bullshit is that?
"他是异教徒的造物主 "He was a pagan nature god,
带来风暴 愤怒和破坏 bringer of storm and fury and destruction who wore
他身披兽皮 脸化丑妆 animal skins and a hideous painted face.
他也是一个恐怖的猎人 惩罚坏人 He was also a fierce hunter who punished those who were bad.
久而久之 他就变成了我们今天所知的圣诞老人 Over time, he became what we know of him today.
他不只是会带来礼物" And he didn't just bring presents."
怀亚特 快点出来 这他妈不好玩 Wyatt, come on. This isn't fucking funny.
操 Shit. Jesus.
你他妈是谁 The fuck are you?
怀亚特去哪了 Yo, where's Wyatt?
和怀亚特一起恶作剧的是你吗 Are you the one doing this shit with him?
你好 Hello?
兄弟 这不好玩 Listen, man, this isn't funny.
我打电话叫警察了 你得离开这儿 I'll call the cops on you. You got to go.
我会暴打你 Yo, I'll fuck you up, man.
兄弟 Dude.
不要 别 No, no!
你是圣诞老人 你就是圣诞老人 You're Santa. You're Santa!
我他妈知道了 我相信你 I fucking get it. I believe in you!
不要 住手 No, no, no! No, no, no!
怎么了 What was that?
他们在耍我们 They're fucking with us.
谁 Who?
所有人 他们只是... All of them. They're just...
把恶作剧录下来 吸引更多粉丝 They're making prank videos to get more followers.
可能是津恩的主意 It's probably Zinn's idea.
对 Yeah.
对不起 对不起 对不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
♪ 天使说 不要害怕 ♪ ♪ "Fear not, then," said the Angel ♪
[God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 最古老的圣诞歌之一]
♪ 他们什么都不怕 ♪ ♪ Let nothing thee affright ♪
♪ 相信牠的人 ♪ ♪ To free all those ♪
♪ 给他们自由 ♪ ♪ Who trust in Him ♪
♪ 拥有圣诞老人的能量 ♪ ♪ From Satan's power and might ♪
♪ 阵阵抚慰 丝丝愉悦 ♪ ♪ Oh, tidings of comfort and joy ♪
♪ 阵阵抚慰 丝丝愉悦 ♪ ♪ Comfort and joy ♪
♪ 阵阵抚慰 丝丝愉悦 ♪ ♪ Comfort and joy, comfort and joy. ♪
搞什么 耍我呢 Come on! Are you kidding me?
如果这不是恶作剧呢 What if this isn't a prank?
如果不是津恩和怀亚特呢 What if this isn't Zinn and Wyatt?
如果是商场那个人呢 What if this is the guy from the mall?
圣诞老人吗 Santa Claus?
我去报警 I'm calling 911.
不是 不是恶作剧 No, it's not a prank.
我非常肯定 不是恶作剧 I mean, I'm pretty sure it's not.
我需要你现在过来 I-I need you to come now.
拜托 Please?
擦... 他们会派辆车过来 F... They're gonna send a car,
但不会以紧急事件处理 but they won't say it's an emergency.
肯定是这个地址多次报警 It's because there's been so many calls about this address.
邻居投诉 分手派对那次 Complaints from the neighbors. Breaking up parties.
还有一次我们自己打电话 要求特警过来 That time we actually called the SWATs on ourselves.
那就意味着可能要等很久了 That means it could be hours.
有人不听话哦
操 Shit.
有人不听话哦
他妈的 得离开这房子 Got to get the fuck out of this house.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
我们不能就这样抛弃他们 We can't just leave the guys.
如果视频是真的 那他们就他妈的死了 If these videos are for real, they're fucking dead!
-我也觉得 -我要离开 - I can't argue with that. - I was gonna leave.
我准备离开兄弟屋 然后经营我自己的频道 赚点钱 I was gonna leave Bro House and start my channel back up,
然后去上大学 and then I was gonna go to college.
我已经跟爸妈聊过这个了 我受够了 I even talked to my parents about it. I was done with this shit.
♪ 圣诞快乐 ♪ ♪ Jolly Christmas ♪
♪ 最欢乐的时光... ♪ ♪ It's the best time... ♪
我很害怕 I'm fucking scared.
我也是 Yeah, so am I.
♪ 这里是否会下雪... ♪ ♪ If there'll be snow... ♪
♪ 祝圣诞节快乐 ♪ ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
♪ 走在马路上... ♪ ♪ And when you walk down the street... ♪
好吧 And okay.
我确实硬了 It was a boner.
我知道 他妈的 我们离开这里 Yeah, I know. Let's just get the fuck out of here, okay?
好 Okay.
看起来没事 Looks clear.
快 Come on.
我的手 My hand!
怎么了 What happened?
我中箭了 帮帮我 把箭拔出来 I'm shot. Help me! Get it out!
拔出来 Get it out!
天 好疼 Oh, God, it hurts.
-操 -天 我的天 - Fuck! - Oh, God. Oh, God!
操操操 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
妈的 Shit.
我有枪 I have a gun!
我他妈把你脑袋打下来 I'll fucking blow your head off!
我是兄弟屋的巴利 我朋友们都死了 我们被攻击了并且手机用不了了 谁能…
这些个狗娘养的傻... You stupid motherfu...
不可能 No fucking way.
别从烟囱下来 You are not coming through the chimney.
你他妈为什么不... Why won't you fucking cl...
操 Fuck.
操操操 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
汽油 我的天 That's gasoline. Oh, my God.
汽油 什么 我的天 It's gasoline. What? Oh, God.
五百万订阅
五百万 五百万 That's five million. Five million.
五百万 五百万粉丝 That's five million. Five million followers.
兄弟们 我们做到了 Boys, we did it!
五百万粉丝... Five million follow...!
真他妈的是圣诞奇迹 我的天 It's a fucking Christmas miracle! Oh, my God.
五百万粉丝 我们做到了 That's five million followers. We did it.
五百万粉丝 五百... Five million followers. Five mil...
我的天 Oh, my God!
我的天 我的天 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!