谁在鬼叫？ What the hell is that?
谁在鬼叫？是你吗？ What the hell is that? Is that you?
- 你清晨的火气还真大 - 滚远一点 - Boy, you're really not a morning person. - Just back off!
起来… Get up! Get up! Get up!
那是什么声音？ What is that noise?
是你的敲门声 You.
是小鸡啦 It's the chick.
他正历经过渡时期 She's going through some changes.
什么过渡时期？ What kind of changes?
兽医认为咱们的小母鸡要长大成公鸡了 Well, the vet seems to think that she's becoming a rooster.
我们打算再问问别的兽医 We're getting a second opinion.
你干嘛清晨八点去血拼？ Hey, what are you doing shopping at 8 in the morning?
我六点钟就起床了 Well, I've been up since 6...
都是被某人的笨公鸡害的 ...thanks to somebody's dumb-ass rooster.
你们应该把他们处理掉 You guys, you really should get rid of those animals.
他们不应该窝在公寓里 They shouldn't be in an apartment.
是啊 特别是这里 又有那么多刀和食谱 Yeah, especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around.
我要去看妇产科医生 看看能不能把法兰克 All right, I'm gonna go to the fertility doctor and, uh, see if I'm ready...
和艾莉丝的胚胎 移植到我的子宫里去 ...to have Frank and Alice's embryo transferred into my uterus.
他们怎么知道你准备好了没？ Now, how will they know if you're ready?
他们要看看我的子宫内膜是不是已经增厚了 Oh, they're just gonna look and see if my endometrial layer is thick.
我帮你看就好了 Oh, I can check that for you.
各位 帮我的子宫内膜加油吧 Okay, everyone, think "thick."
祝你好运 Good luck.
- 快祝我幸运 - 嘿 - Hey. Wish me luck. - Hey.
- 祝你好运 祝你好运 - Oh, good luck. - Good luck.
- 我说得没错啦 - 鬼扯 - And I'm still right. - That is so not true.
怎样？ What?
她不爽是因为我知道 她今天要洗衣服 She's mad because I know today's her laundry day...
所以现在穿的是老奶奶大内裤 ...and that means she's wearing her old-lady underpants.
要不要我检查一下？ I can check that for you.
你们凭什么认为 I just can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel...
比瑞秋和我更了解我们？ ...better than we know you.
本来就是 Well, we do.
你吃薄荷糖时一定要吃偶数 You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.
你有什么毛病啊？ Yeah, what's that about?
而你嘛… 罗斯 你去搜搜瑞秋的购物袋 And you. Ross, I believe if you check Rachel's bag...
里面一定有一盒 吃了一半的饼干 ...you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
高明 You're good.
这包饼干就不怎么高明了 These are not.
有什么了不起 哪有人买东西时不吃零嘴？ I'm so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
- 耶 - 是吗？ - Yeah. - Oh, yeah?
罗斯 购物袋里还有几样东西？ Ross, how many items left in that bag?
五样 - Five. - Okay.
赌十块 我们能说出 那五样东西是什么 Ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
- 你们能猜几次？ - 六次 - How many guesses do you get? - Six.
男生队下战书 Challenge extended.
- 赌就赌 - 女生队接受桃战 - Deal. - Challenge accepted.
第一样是… All right, we'll start with...
苹果 ...apples.
第一样是苹果 We'll be starting with apples.
拜托你住嘴 Stop that now.
有苹果 Yes.
玉米片 Okay. Uh, tortilla chips.
- 优格 - 健怡汽水 - Yogurt. - Diet soda.
对… Yes, yes, yes.
- 柳橙汁 - 我没买柳橙汁 - Orange juice. - No, there's no orange juice in there.
- 我们赢了 - 哈哈 - We win. - Ha, ha.
等等 他们还能再猜一次 They have another guess.
但是那题我们赢了 Okay, well, we won that one.
最后一样东西是… Okay. The last thing is...
噢 噢 Ooh, ooh, ooh.
不是… 还要等两周 No, no. Not for, like, another two weeks.
我知道了 I got it. Scotch...
胶带 ...tape.
你怎么知道她会买胶带？ How did you know she would buy Scotch tape?
我们昨晚玩扮鬼脸时 把她们的胶带用光了 Well, we used up theirs last night making scary faces.
讨厌 Oh, man.
十块钱 All right. Ten bucks. Fork it over.
愿赌服输 Cough it up. Pay the piper.
甘愿点 拿钱来 Give me it.
这没什么了不起 我要再比一次 That does not mean you know us better. I want a rematch.
净杂货没挑战性 这次要问切身问题 Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions. Real personal questions.
赌一百块 Yeah. And the winner gets 100 bucks.
你当真？ Serious?
怕了？ Are you scared?
才怪 No.
谁出考题？ Okay, who makes up the questions?
罗斯 Ross will do it.
是啊 找罗斯 Oh, sure, Ross will do it.
反正他没工作 没儿子 生活又无聊 It's not like he has a job or a child or a life of his own.
好嘛 那找菲比好了 Well, fine. We'll ask Phoebe.
不要 人家想玩嘛 No, no, no, I wanna play.
你的子宫可以做胚胎移植了 Looks like your uterus is ready for implantation.
我就知道 我今天早上就觉得厚厚的 Oh, I knew it. I knew it. I felt really thick this morning.
- 啊 - 现在怎么办？ - Ha, ha. - Okay, so, what's now?
快去把卵子放进去 Go get the eggs. Put them in there.
我要花点时间准备那些胚胎 Okay. It'll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
- 那些胚胎？不只一个？ - 事实上 一共有五个 - Embryos? As in more than one? - Mm-hm. Five, actually.
五个？ Five? Okay, where am I giving birth...
你把我当母猪啊？ ...in a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
植入五个胚胎 大概是25% Ha, ha. We do five because that gives you a 25-percent chance...
的着床机率 ...that at least one will attach.
25%？这么少？ That's it? Twenty-five percent?
这表示我生不出小孩的机率是75%？ That means that it's, like, 75-percent chance of no baby at all?
那如果两百个胚胎进去 Yeah, you know, I was thinking, what are the odds...
机率会不会高一点？ ...if, like, you stuff, like, 200 of them in there?
亲爱的 Sweetie, now...
她是个女人 不是卖泡泡糖的机器 ...she's a woman, not a gumball machine.
别担心 Okay, well, you know what? Don't worry.
我会一直做到成功为止 I'm gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
但是我们只有一次机会 Well, see, the thing is, we kind of only have one shot.
做一次移植要花一万六千块 Um, it costs $16,000 each time you do this.
我们为了这次 已经花光所有的积蓄 So, um, we're kind of using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
天啊 Whoa.
这让我和我的子宫 压力超大 That's... Okay, that's a lot of pressure on me and my uterus.
所以… 好吧 So... Well, okay.
也许我能做些什么事 来提高怀孕的机率 So maybe there's something that I can do, you know, just to make sure I get pregnant.
没有 No, I'm sorry.
你们真是哈都不懂 Wow, you guys really don't know anything.
那她喝个烂醉如何？ I know. Why doesn't she get drunk?
我很多高中同学 都是这样搞大肚子的 That worked for a bunch of girls in my high school.
你们知道菲比现在 Hey, guys. Do you realize that any minute now...
随时可能会怀孕吗？ ...Phoebe could be pregnant?
我知道… I know, I know.
- 这件事真是非同小可 - 是啊 - It's such a huge, life-altering thing. - I know.
考题准备好了 The test is ready.
每一队都要回答十个问题 Okay. Each team will answer 10 questions.
答对最多的那一队就赢 The first team to answer the most questions wins.
考题项目如下 "恐惧和怪癖" The categories are "Fears And Pet Peeves"...
"陈年往事" ..."Ancient History"...
"文学" ..."Literature"...
和"日常琐事" ...and "It's All Relative."
我们丢硬币来决定哪一队先攻 Now, the coin toss, to see who goes first.
好的 Okay.
- 拜托你们先猜哪一面 - 耶 - Somebody call it this time. - Yeah.
字 Tails.
- 是人头 - 答对了 - It's heads. - Yeah!
男生队 请挑项目 Gentlemen, pick your category.
"恐惧和怪癖" "Fears And Pet Peeves."
摩妮卡最受不了什么？ "What is Monica's biggest pet peeve?"
- 动物穿衣服 - 答对了 - Animals dressed as humans. - That's correct.
- 女生队？- 同一个项目 - Ladies? - Same category.
好的 Okay.
钱德最怕什么东西？ "According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejesus out of him?"
踢踏舞之王麦克费特利 Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance.
答对了 That is correct.
那个刀具舞的爱尔兰人？ The Irish jig guy?
他那双脚跳舞时 好像跟身体分离了一样 His legs flail about as if independent from his body.
男生队 轮到你们了 Gentlemen, your pick.
"日常琐事" "It's All Relative."
摩妮卡和我的祖母过世时 "Monica and I had a grandmother who died.
两位都参加了她的葬礼 You both went to her funeral.
我们祖母叫什么名字？ Name that grandmother."
- 姥姥？ - 她有个真正的名字吧 - Nana? - She has a real name.
- 艾席雅 - 艾席雅？ - Althea. - Althea?
- 什么？ - 试试看嘛 - What are you doing? - Took a shot.
那干嘛猜艾席雅？ Shooting with Althea?
- 答对了 -猜得好 - Althea is correct. - Nice shooting.
"文学" We'll take "Literature."
乔伊和钱德 每周都会收到《电视周刊》 "Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment.
请问收件人的姓名为何？ What name appears on the address label?"
钱德订的 当然是钱德宾罗 Oh! Chandler gets it. It's Chandler Bing.
不是啦 No.
《电视周刊》收件人的姓名 是"钱尼德勒邦" I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to "Chanandler Bong."
我知道正确答案 I knew that.
瑞秋 用用脑子行不行？ Rachel, use your head.
事实上 应该是"钱尼德勒邦小姐" Actually, it's Miss Chanandler Bong.
嗨 各位小胚胎 Hello, teeny embryos.
我是菲比 嗨 Oh, I'm Phoebe Buffay. Hi.
我的子宫 就是各位未来九个月的家 I'm hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months.
我们这么做 都是为了法兰克和艾莉丝 You should know that we're doing this for Frank and Alice...
你们跟他们应该很熟 ...who you know. You've been there.
哦… Um...
他们真的很希望能有个小宝宝 You know, they want you so much.
你们进去之后好好抓紧 So when you guys get in there, really grab on.
我保证会让你们 住得又舒服又安全 Okay, and I promise that I'll keep you safe and warm...
直到你们准备好 让他们带你们回家为止 ...until, you know, you're ready to have them take you home.
所以… So...
好吧 Okay.
咱们下次见面时 我应该会鸡猫子喊叫 Oh, and also, next time you see me, if I'm screaming, don't worry.
请别担心 这是很正常的 That's what's supposed to happen.
- 准备好了吗？ - 呃 - Ready? - Uh-huh?
祝好运 Good luck.
目前比数是九比八 男生队颌先 All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys.
女生队若答错这题 男生队就赢了 选一个项目吧 Ladies, if you miss this, the game is theirs. Pick your category.
"日常琐事" "It's All Relative"!
- 犯不着扛直嗓子吼 - 对不起 - You don't have to shout everything. - I'm sorry!
"钱德父亲在赌城的男子歌舞秀 Ooh. "What is the name of Chandler's father's...
叫做什么名字？" ...Las Vegas all-male burlesque?"
"同志万岁" Viva Las Gaygas.
很不幸的… 你答对了 Unfortunately, that is correct.
太棒了 Yes.
目前双方平手 All right. We have a tie.
不过我早有准备了 Luckily, I've prepared for such an event.
- 抢答 - 噢 - The Lightning Round. - Ooh.
双方各有30秒抢答 Thirty seconds. All the questions you can answer.
你们输定了 You guys are dead.
我超会抢答 I am so good at Lightning Rounds.
我大学是主修抢答的 I majored in Lightning Rounds, all right?
- 你们才输定了 - 敢不敢赌？ - We're gonna destroy you. - Want to bet?
怪了 我们这不正是在赌吗？ Oh, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.
把赌注提高到… 150块如何？ How about we play for more money? Say 150?
150块 One hundred and fifty dollars.
200块如何？ Say 200?
200块 Two hundred dollars.
你又来了 You're doing it again.
不好意思 Excuse me.
- 我不想输200块 - 我们不会输的 - Monica, I don't want to lose $200. - We won't.
- 好的 - 300块如何？ - Okay. - Three hundred?
- 摩妮卡 - 我只是想让比赛更香辣有劲 - Monica. - I'm just trying to spice it up.
赌辣椒行不行？别再乱花我的钱了 Okay, so then play for some pepper. Stop spending my money.
我有了 I got it.
我们赢的话 他们就得处理掉那只公鸡 How about if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster.
有意思 Ooh, that's interesting.
不行 公鸡和我们是一家人 Hey, no way. That rooster's family.
- 还有那只鸭 - 干嘛扯上那只鸭？ - Throw in the duck too. - What do you have against the duck?
- 他又不乱叫 - 那只鸡被他搞得心浮气躁 - It doesn't make noise. - Well, he gets the other one all riled up.
- 听着 我们绝不… - 等等 - Look, we are not... - All right, hold on.
你们赢的话 If you win...
我们就处理掉那只公鸡 ...we give up the bird.
我们赢的话… But if we win...
就把你们的公寓让给我们 ...we get your apartment.
噢 Ooh!
成交 Deal!
拿公寓来赌好像不太稳当 Monica, betting the apartment? I don't know about this.
瑞秋 我从头到尾 一题都没答错 Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game.
我是抢答之王 I own this game.
看我的手 Look at my hand.
你手上有写小抄吗？ Why, do you have the answers written on there?
不是啦 我的手稳得很 你还不放心吗？ No. Steady as a rock. Now, are you with me?
- 咱们上阵吧 - 这样才对 - All right, let's do it. Okay. - Come on.
男生队先攻 All right. Gentlemen, you're up first.
好的 Okay.
限时抢答30秒 You have 30 seconds.
抢答阶段要闲始了… The Lightning Round begins...
不准跳 Stop it.
摩妮卡当曲棍球队 守门员的外号为何？ Now. "What was Monica's nickname when she was a field-hockey goalie?"
- 胖球门 - 正确 - Big Fat Goalie. - Correct.
瑞秋宣称 她最喜欢的电影为何？ "Rachel claims this is her favorite movie."
- 《危险关系》 - 正确 - Dangerous Liaisons. - Correct.
- 她真正喜欢的电影是哪一部？ - 《玩死老弟》 正确 - "Her actual favorite is?" - Weekend at Bernie's. Correct.
摩妮卡14岁时 身上哪个部位卡了一枝铅笔？ "In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?"
噢 Oh!
嗯… 不是啦 Ew, no!
是她的耳朵 Her ear.
摩妮卡的毛巾都分门别类 一共分为几类？ All right, "Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?"
- 日常用毛巾 - 高级毛巾 - Okay, everyday use. - Fancy.
- 客用毛巾 - 高级客用毛巾 - Guest. - Fancy guest.
- 还剩两秒钟 - 11类？ - Two seconds. - Uh, eleven?
不可思议 答对了 Eleven. Unbelievable. Eleven is correct.
太好了… Yes!
好了 All right.
男生队答对四题 现在轮女生队抢答 That's four for the guys. Ladies, you're up.
好了 好了 加油 All right, all right, come on!
限时抢答30秒 Thirty seconds on the clock.
答对五题你们就赢了 Five correct questions wins the game.
抢答开始 乔伊最喜欢的食物为何？ The Lightning Round begins now. "What is Joey's favorite food?"
- 三明治 - 正确 - Sandwiches. - Correct.
钱德第一次摸女生胸部是几岁？ "Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?"
- 14岁？ - 不 19 - Fourteen? - No, 19.
谢了 老哥 Thanks, man.
乔伊小时有个幻想中的朋友 "Joey had an imaginary childhood friend.
- 他的名字叫… - 莫瑞斯 - His name was..." - Maurice.
- 正确 他的职业是… - 太空牛仔 - "His profession was?" - Space cowboy.
正确 Correct.
钱德宾的工作为何？ "What is Chandler Bing's job?"
噢 Oh.
跟数字有关 Oh, gosh. It has something to do with numbers.
还有处理 他上班带公事包 - And processing. - And he carries a briefcase.
剩10秒钟 答错就输了 Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.
跟答询有关 It has something to do with transponding.
他是答询员 Oh! Oh! He's a transponster.
哪有这种字？ That's not even a word!
我知道… I can get this. I can get this.
不 No!
太棒了 Yes!
- 我要摩妮卡的房间 - 这哪是你说要就要的 - I call Monica's room. - You can't just call Monica's room.
哪不是 先下手为强 谁叫你不先要 Sure I can. Standard Shotgun Rules. I'm in sight of the room and I called it.
可恶 Damn.
我好像要生病了 Man, I feel like I'm coming down with something.
- 噢 - 耶 - Oh. - Yeah.
要不要猜猜我的扁桃腺是什么颜色？用公寓来赌 Bet you can't guess what color my tonsils are. I bet the apartment.
我才不会拿 这么棒的公寓来赌呢 Oh, I would never bet this apartment. It's too nice.
- 嘿 - 菲比 你肚子里有东西了吗？ - Hey. - Ooh, Pheebs, are they in there?
对 胚胎放进去了 Um, yeah, uh-huh, I'm implanted.
- 你觉得怎么样？ - 担心死了 - How do you feel? - Well, freaked.
成功的机率不高 Because it turns out the odds are, like, really sucky.
但法兰克和艾莉丝 只有这次机会 And this is Frank and Alice's, like, only shot.
他们把所有的蛋 都放在我的篮子里 I mean, they are, like, literally putting all their eggs in my basket.
我相信你一定会成功 Yeah, but I bet it works.
是吗？你要赌多少？ Really? How much?
我现在就去验孕 All right, I'm gonna go take a pregnancy test right now.
这么快？ Oh, wow. You can tell this soon?
医生说要等两天 Well, the doctor says it takes a couple days.
但是我的身体 一向比西方医学快一点 But, I mean, my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine, so...
天啊 你们真以为能搬进来？ Oh, my God. I can't believe you guys actually think you're moving in here.
面对现实吧 宝贝 Well, believe it, baby.
我不走 Well, I'm not moving.
什么？ What?
那不过是场愚蠢的赌局 玩玩罢了 No. It was a stupid bet. We were just playing a game.
赌就赌了 哪能不算 You just can't ignore the bet. It's a bet.
赌输就是输了 You bet on a bet, and if you lose, you lose the bet.
我们非搬不可 Rach, we have to move.
若我们赢了 也会逼他们把鸡鸭处理掉 If we had lost, we would have made them get rid of the birds.
才怪 No.
我也不想这样 但说句安慰你的话… All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better...
这全都是你的错 ...this is all your fault.
- 什么？ - 钱德·宾 - What? - Chanandler Bong.
我们每周都偷他们的电视周刊 你怎么会不知道收件人是谁？ Come on, we steal that TV Guide every week.
我就知道 I knew it.
我不管 我不走 I don't care. I'm not going anywhere.
酷啊 跟女生做室友 Cool. Girl roommate.
怎么样？ Well?
我的肚子还没被搞大 Nope, not knocked up yet.
才过两个小时耶 耐心点 It's only been a couple hours, so just give it some time.
我也要为这件事尽一份力 Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, I'm gonna do whatever I can to help this...
让我躺在你们的椅子上 ...so I'm just gonna, you know, lie in your chair, okay?
你知道的… You know, just...
让地心引力发挥作用 Yeah, good. I'm gonna let gravity, you know, do its jobs.
瑞秋 过来帮我搬这个箱子 Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?
不 把箱子放下来 我们哪儿都不去 No. Put that box down. We are not going anywhere!
这是我的公寓 我喜欢它 This is my apartment and I like it.
这是女生的公寓 This is a girl's apartment.
那里才是又脏又臭的男生公寓 That is a boy's apartment. It's dirty and it smells.
这里漂亮死了… This is pretty. It's so pretty.
看 墙壁是紫的 And look, and it's purple.
稳若盘石小姐 我不搬 And I'm telling you, you with your steady hand, I am not moving.
看 我的手也稳若盘石 And now I have got the steady hand.
- 我去搞定 - 太棒了 - I'll take care of it. - That's right.
这才乖 照我说的话去做 You do what the hand says.
- 情况如何？ - 我把床垫输掉了 - How'd it go? - I lost our mattresses.
小胎儿 你在里面吗？ Are you in there, little fetus?
九个月后是否就能够相见？ In nine months, will you come greet us?
我会带你去吃牛肉面 I will buy you some Adidas
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
嗨 菲比 Oh, hi, Phoebe?
我们刚刚去过药妆店 帮你买了个小礼物 Um, we were just at the drugstore, um, so we got you a little present.
棒棒糖和验孕棒 Um, it's a lollipop and a home pregnancy test.
别搞混了 棒棒糖沾尿很恶心 Hey, don't mix those up. You could really ruin that lollipop.
想不想验一下？一次定生死 So, um, you feel like taking a test? There's only one question.
我验就是了 All right. I will. No, I will.
别忘了 现在还早 But, um, you know, just remember that it's still really early.
若结果是阴性 Okay, so if it says that I'm not pregnant...
不表示我不会怀孕 ...that doesn't mean I'm not gonna get pregnant, okay?
拜托你们别寄望太高 And just, please, just so I don't go completely nuts...
否则会把我逼疯的 ...just try not to put all your hopes on this, okay?
好 Okay.
好极了 Great.
你们真是坏到骨子里去了 You know what? You are mean boys who are just being mean.
别把气出在我们身上 没人逼你们把公寓拿来赌 Hey, don't get mad at us. No one forced you to raise the stakes.
乱讲 她有逼我 That is not true. She did. She forced me.
答错的人是你啊 We'd still be here if you hadn't got the question wrong.
那个问题太不公平了 Well, it was a stupid, unfair question!
别怪我出的问题 Don't blame the questions!
别在我们家大吵大闹 Would you all stop yelling in our apartment?
扫了我们的搬家兴 You are ruining moving day for us.
- 别说这里是你们家 - 本来就是 - Would you stop calling it your apartment? - It is ours.
你们要有宝宝了 Guys, you guys, you're gonna have a baby.
他们要有宝宝了 They're gonna have a baby.
我姐姐要帮我生小孩了 My sister's going to have my baby!
别抱了 这对宝宝不好 Okay, but this can't be good for the baby.
我找不到垃圾袋 I can't find garbage bags.
这里面好像有 Oh, I think I saw some in here.
什么东西？ What is it?
不知道 要是把抽屉关上 他也许会死 I don't know. But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die.
真不敢相信我们得住在这里 I can't believe we're living here.
什么事？ What? What is it?
你知道衣橱有多大吗？ Did you see the size of the closets?
不敢相信咱们可以住在这里 I can't believe we live here.