喂？ Hello.
我爱死我的新工作了 I love my new job!
- 亲爱的 你在吼叫 - 你说的没错 我就是 - Honey, you're screaming. - You bet your ass I am.
这工作是有史以来最棒的 I just had the best first day ever.
那个厨房 比之前的餐厅大两倍… The kitchen? Twice as big as Allessandro's.
- 喔 太棒了 - 对 - Oh, that's great. - Yeah.
说到干净 不只是符合卫生局标准 是摩妮卡式的干净 And clean? Not just Health Department-clean, Monica-clean.
酷毙了 Awesome.
喔 还有同事都很好 Oh, and the people are so nice.
有一个男的叫杰佛瑞 他是餐厅领班 There's this one guy, Jeffrey, he's the maitred.
钱德 你会很喜欢他的 Chandler, you will love him.
毫无疑问他是我遇过最风趣的男人了 He is without a doubt the funniest guy I have ever met.
- 这真棒 - 我知道 - This is nice. - I know.
- 你需要两只手才打得开？ - 是啊 应该是要 - You need both hands for that? - Yeah, I kind of do.
嗯 那这样呢？ Well, how's this?
瞧瞧你们两个手握着手 Oh, look at you two holding hands.
是不是开始认真了呢？ Is this getting serious?
好 我 你知道的 Well, I, you know...
你们有没有谈过了呢？ Have you not talked about it yet?
我是不是让你们很不舒服呢？ Am I making you uncomfortable?
如果你再高壮一点你就会扁我了 对不对？ If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh?
不好意思 I'm sorry, heh.
很明显现在就讨论那种事 对我们而言是太早了 It's obviously way too early for us to be having that conversation.
- 会吗？ - 或许不会 会吗？ - Is it? - Maybe not. Is it?
好 当我离婚后… Okay, when I got divorced...
有一段很长的时间 我不认为会对任何人有这种感觉 I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time.
而且 我也不认为会 遇到像你这样的人… Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you.
这或许太疯狂快速了 但我希望给你这个 And this may be crazy-soon, but I want you to have this.
- 不 不是…那是口香糖 - 喔 - No, not... That's gum. - Oh.
喔 五块钱 我超喜欢这种事发生的 你知道吗？ Oh, five bucks. I love it when that happens, you know?
- 你不知道那里有… - 我知道 继续挖 - You don't know it's there... - I know. Keep digging.
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
喔 是一支钥匙 Oh. It's a key.
老实说 我想我宁可要那五块钱 To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
- 我公寓的钥匙 - 哇 - It's to my apartment. - Oh, wow.
菲比跟麦克 两人关系的一大步 Ooh. Big step for Phoebe and Mike.
我不希望你觉得这样 你也要给我你的钥匙 Look, I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key...
- 不 我要 - 感谢上帝 - No, I want to. - Oh, thank God.
好耶 Yeah.
哇 我本来还在想 我应该不会遇到一个人… Wow. I was starting to think I'd never meet someone that...
让我想要这样做的 you know, I wanted to do this with.
拿去吧 Here you go.
- 这太酷了 - 真的是很酷 - This is cool, huh? - It really is.
我知道 太惊人了 这些小东西可以把门打开 Oh, I know it. It is amazing. These little things open doors.
我四星期之后才需要回去上班… So I don't go back to work for another four weeks...
但是我们希望我们的保姆可以马上上班 but we would like our nanny to start right away...
那艾玛才有时间熟悉她 so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
我想这样做是很聪明的 I think that's really smart.
我们换手过程越流畅对她越好 The easier we can make the transition for her the better.
太棒了 很好 That's great. Great.
- 那你有没有其他的问题想问我们呢？ - 没有 - So do you have any questions for us? - Not really.
好了 那谢谢你跑一趟 All right. Well, thank you so much for coming.
- 谢谢 - 很高兴认识你 - Thank you. - It was really nice to meet you.
- 我们会打电话给你 - 喔 等一下… - We will call you. - Oh, you know, wait.
- 我是有一个问题 - 嗯 - I do have one question. - Yeah.
你们会不定期对人做毒品测试吗？ Do you guys do random drug testing?
天啊 我们还真的没想过这个 Boy, we, uh, hadn't really thought of that.
没关系 但是如果你们要求做 我需要你们提前三天告诉我 That's cool. But if you do, I'm gonna need three days' notice.
好的 没问题 Okey-dokey.
我们永远都找不到保姆了 Wow. We're never gonna find a nanny.
别这样 瑞秋 我保证我们会找到的 我们还有其他的面试 Come on, Rach. We will. I promise. We have more interviews.
情况要是更糟 我们总是可以重新考虑第一个人选 And worse comes to worst, we can always reconsider the, uh, first one we met with.
什么？那个没穿胸罩的金发女郎吗？ What, the blond with no bra?
她的头发是金色的吗？ She was blond?
等一下 Just a sec.
- 好的 这个叫做珊帝 - 好的 - Okay, this one's name is Sandy. - Okay.
她有幼儿教育学位 She's got a degree in Early Childhood Education.
她在上个工作的家庭做了三年 Uh, she worked for her last family for three years.
好 Okay.
嗨 我是珊帝 Hi. I'm Sandy.
而且她看起来有点男性化 And she's a little mannish.
- 喔 我的天 - 大卫 - Ah! Oh, my God. David. - Hi.
- 现在会打扰你吗？ - 不 现在很好 进来吧 - Uh, is this a bad time? - No, it's a great time. Come in.
哇 嗨 Wow. Hi.
喔 天啊 你在这里做什么呢？你从明斯克回来吗？ Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
只回来几天 Well, just for a couple of days.
我是回来跟提供补助款的人解释… I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant...
为什么我们花光了所有他们给的钱… why it's a positive thing that we've spent all their money...
什么都没有做出 可以是件正面的事 and, uh, accomplished, uh, nothing.
谁在乎呢？反正你回来了 Who cares? It got you here.
我回到纽约 然后在机场叫了部计程车 Well, it got me to New York anyway. Then I got in a cab at the airport...
司机问我要去哪？ and the guy said, "Where to?"
我想都没想就给了他你的地址 I just gave him your address. I didn't even think about it.
哇 你的行李呢？ Wow. Where's your luggage?
该死 Damn it.
好了 我来打电话给计程车行 All right, I'll call the cab company.
等等…我们可以等一下再打 你可以先站在那边一下子吗？ We can call them later. Can you just stand there for a moment?
天啊 Boy.
有一句俄罗斯老谚语是这样的 There's an old Russian expression, um, that goes:
大略的翻译就是 Roughly translated, that means, um
"我现在盯着的东西 哇" "This thing that I'm looking at: Wow."
谢谢你 Thank you.
你应该看看当我… 事实上 不用 我看起来挺不错的 Uh, no, you should see me when... Actually, no, I look pretty good.
你在开玩笑吗？ Are you kidding?
你知道的 当很久没有见到一个人… You know, when you don't see someone for a long time...
你会在脑海中建立起这个人的影像 然后开始想 and you kind of build them up in your head, you start thinking:
"少来了 别发神经了 没有人是那样美的" "Come on, don't be crazy, nobody's that beautiful."
但是 嗯 你真的就是那样的美 But, well, you are.
那么 你现在有在跟谁交往吗？ Well, so, um, are you seeing anyone?
没有 No.
我是最糟糕的人 I'm just the worst person ever.
我怎么可以不告诉大卫 我跟麦克在一起呢？ How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
或许他没有给你机会说 Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
他问我有没有跟谁交往 而我说没有 He said, "Are you seeing someone?" And I said, "No."
- 喔 那本来是你可以澄清的机会的 - 是的 - Oh, well, that would've been your window. - Yeah.
我真的不知道 我看着他的双眼… I mean, I don't know. I was looking in his eyes...
然后只能想 我的天 是大卫 大卫在这 and I was just thinking, "Oh, my God, it's David. David's here."
他真是令人无法抗拒 He's just so irresistible.
- 真的吗？那个科学家？ - 真的吗？钱德？ - Really? The scientist guy? - Really? Chandler?
继续说 Continue.
然后越来越糟糕… Okay, then it gets worse...
因为我答应他明晚跟他见面 because I told him I would see him tomorrow night.
- 菲比 - 我知道 邪恶的女人 - Phoebe. - I know. Evil.
同时 And, and, and, and...
我真的好喜欢麦克 你知道吗？发展得真的很顺利 我的天 I like Mike so much, you know? It's just going really well. Oh, my God.
大卫出现在你跟麦克 交换钥匙的同一天… Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up...
这真是很讽刺是吗？ on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
嗯哈 Uh-huh.
是啊 而且你知道我一辈子都在 找寻讽刺的事… Yeah. You know, and given my lifelong search for irony...
你可以想像得到我有多开心 you can imagine how happy I am.
- 你要怎么办呢？ - 我想我只能… - What are you gonna do? - I mean, I guess I just have to...
告诉大卫我们之间是不可能的 tell David that nothing can happen between us.
除非我不用告诉他 Unless I don't.
你知道的 复杂的道德情况… You know, complicated moral situation?
- 是没有错或对 - 你必须要告诉大卫 - No right, no wrong? - You have to tell David.
我就知道我应该去问乔伊才对 I knew I should've had this conversation with Joey.
她遇过最风趣的男人… Funniest guy she's ever met.
我很风趣 不是吗？ I'm funny, right?
你知道个什么？你只是一道门 What do you know? You're a door.
你就像是敲敲门笑话 You just like knock-knock jokes.
等到里面再发挥 Save it for inside.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
奥克拉荷马真是疯狂 他们把那里称为早到者之州 So Oklahoma's a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner State.
事实上 我还真希望 可以早点离开到其他的州 Frankly, I'd sooner be in any other state.
而且奥克拉荷马 为什么有个平底锅柄呢？ And what's with Oklahoma having a panhandle?
其他的州可以有像那样的东西吗？ Can all states have stuff like that?
嘿 我是从怀俄明的中腰部来的 Hey, yeah, I'm from the, uh, waistband of Wyoming.
但是当我七岁的时候 我们就搬到胯下部了 But when I was 7, we headed over to the crotch.
你的机舱是不是有加压呢？ Was your cabin pressurized?
而且不要让我开始告诉你们 土尔沙人说话的方式… And don't get me started on the way the people from Tulsa talk.
好的 Okay.
"你全"到底是个什么字呢？ What's with the word "y'all"?
只不过是"你们"跟"全部"加在一起 You know, just two words just pushed together?
我们可以那样做吗？因为如果可以 还有很多字可以这样玩 Are we all allowed to do that? Because if so, I say why stop there?
你的 新狮子狗 可以变成你的新狮 You know, your new poodle could be your noodle.
油炸鸡块 可以变成 炸块 And fried chicken could be fricken.
服务生？服务生 不好意思 我想要点 炸块 Waiter? Waiter, excuse me, I'll have the fricken.
瞧 炸块 很好笑吧？ See, that's funny with the fricken, right?
不 只是让我想起今天工作时 有个人讲的笑话… No, it just reminds me of something this guy did today at work.
我有跟你提过一个风趣的人叫做杰佛瑞 对吗？ I told you about that funny guy, Jeffrey, right?
是啊 你提过 Yeah, he came up.
嗯 他做了一件事 你应该要在现场才感受得到… Well, he did this bit. You probably had to be there...
莉莎明妮莉被锁在冰箱里面吃生鸡肉 but it was Liza Minnelli locked in our freezer eating a raw chicken.
喔 Oh, ha, ha.
- 你在现场吗？ - 没有 但是听起来真是 炸块 好笑 - Were you there? - No, but it sounds fricken funny.
我真的可以理解要把孩子交付给 另一个人是很困难的事 I really understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person.
我是说 这就像把心上的一块肉割下 I mean, it's like leaving behind a piece of your heart.
珊帝 这正是如此 Sandy, that's exactly what it is.
- 你是同性恋吗？ - 罗斯 - Are you gay? - Ross.
没关系 我的工作常引来误会 It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do.
- 但我不是同性恋 事实上我已经订婚 - 噢 - But I am straight. I'm engaged, actually. - Oh.
- 她的名字叫做狄莉亚 - 真是好名字 - Her name's Delia. - That's pretty.
所以你只是一个当保姆的男人 So you're just, like, a guy who's a nanny.
我知道这对一些人来说是很颠覆传统的 I realize how it's a bit unorthodox for some people.
但我真的相信照顾小孩是一辈子当中… But I really believe the most satisfying thing you can do with your life...
最令人感到满足的事 is take care of a child.
好吧 Okay.
就像我上一个工作… Like at my last job.
我在丹尼尔三星期大的时候就认识他 I met Daniel when he was 3 weeks old.
然后我看着他成长变成一个很棒的人 And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person.
当我离开的时候 我说 希望很快再见到你 When I left, I said, "I'll see you soon."
然后他说 珊卡丹帝 And he said to me, "Skadandy?"
- 那是他给我的名字 - 哦 哈哈 - That was his name for me. - Oh, ha, ha.
我每天都会看到你 就在… "I'll see you every day right in..."
- 没关系 - 是啊 小孩子尽会说些鬼话 - It's okay. - Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.
喔 天啊 她一定是需要换尿布了 Oh, God, she must need her diaper changed.
- 我可以帮你处理 如果你要的话 - 太棒了 - I can take care of that, if you want. - Oh, that would be great.
我爱他 我爱他 我爱他 I love him, I love him, I love him.
别这样 瑞秋 他是个男人 Oh, come on. Rach, he's a guy.
那又如何？他很聪明 资历又符合 So what? He's smart. He's qualified.
给我一个理由为什么我们不能试用他 Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
因为这实在太奇怪了 Because it's weird.
为什么？ Why?
男人做那种工作像话吗？保姆？ What kind of a job is that for a man? A nanny?
我是说 那就像一个女人想要成为… I mean, it's like if a woman wanted to be...
什么？ Yes?
国王？ King?
我希望你不介意 我在艾玛身上 用了我自制的乳液 I, uh, hope you don't mind. I used some of my homemade lotion on Emma.
那是混合金盏花跟峰蜜的乳液 对红疹是立即效果的 It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up.
而且 使双手保持年轻 Plus, it keeps the hands young.
是的 珊帝 你录取了 Yes. Sandy, you're hired.
太棒了 That's great.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
只是被欢迎加入一个新家庭 是一件很令人感动的事 It's just such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family.
喔 天啊 过来这里 Oh, God. Come here.
你至少也是双性恋 You gotta be at least bi.
嘿 Hey.
(大胸部女人)
我需要你帮忙 让我讲笑话… I need you to set me up for a joke.
当摩妮卡在的时候 问我消防车怎样 When Monica's around, ask me about fire trucks.
我不知道 钱德 我不是很会记台词的 Ooh, I don't know, Chandler. I'm not so good with remembering lines.
感谢上帝你不是靠记台词吃饭的 Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
我知道 棒吧？ I know, right?
我们为什么要这样做呢？ Why are we doing this?
摩妮卡说他们餐厅的领班 是她遇过最风趣的男人 Monica says that her maitred' is the funniest guy she's ever met.
真的吗？她真的那样说？ Seriously? She actually said that?
是的 我这么不爽很疯狂吗？ Yes. Am I crazy to be this upset?
- 不 风趣是你的专利 - 是啊 - No. Being funny's your thing. - Yeah.
- 没有了它 你还有什么吸引女人的 - 对… - Without that, you just got "lame with women." - Yeah...
嗨 你们都在 Hi. There you are.
消防车 Fire trucks.
哇 你看起来比昨天更美丽 Wow. You look even more beautiful than you did yesterday.
- 噢 - 事实上 我现在要亲你 - Ooh. - In fact, I'm going to kiss you now.
- 等等… - 我就是没有办法… - Oh, wait, wait. - Yeah, I can't get away with stuff like that.
在我脑海中听起来很性感 所以我… It sounded sexy in my head, so I...
不 不 不是那件事 No, no, it's not that.
你记得当你问我有没有跟谁交往 而我告诉你没有吗？ Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no?
- 事实上我有 他叫做麦克 喔… - 喔… - Well, um, I am. His name's Mike. - Oh. Oh.
- 我应该早点告诉你的 - 不用… - I should've told you. - No.
- 嗯 你应该要的 - 耶 - Well, yeah. - Yeah.
- 我很抱歉 我很抱歉 - 没关系 我可以理解 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Well, it's okay. I understand.
那 你跟这个人在一起快乐吗？ Well, are you happy with this guy?
- 我是很快乐 - 该死 - I am happy. - Damn it.
我很抱歉 我不是那个意思 我要你过得快乐 I'm sorry. I don't mean that. I want you to be happy.
但是只能跟我 不 那并不公平 管他的 抛弃他吧 But only with me. No, that's not fair. Who cares. Leave him.
我不是那个意思 是的 我是 我很抱歉 I don't mean that. Yes, I do. I'm sorry. Um...
- 我想我应该离开了 - 好吧... - I think I should probably, uh, go. - Well...
但是 大卫 我只想要你知道… But, David, I just want you to know that, you know...
跟你坦白 是我做过最困难的事 telling you this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
嗯 让你知道一下… Well, just so you know...
听到这件事也不是像在过嘉年华 hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival, either.
- 我们至少可以拥抱道别吧？ - 当然 可以 - Can we at least hug goodbye? - Of course. Yeah.
你知道的 在脸颊上亲一下 应该不会是太不适当 You know, and a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate.
- 不 不 - 我是说… - No. No. - I mean...
- 在明斯克… - 怎样呢？ - In Minsk? - Yeah?
- 是在两边各亲两下… - 嗯 - It's, um, two on each cheek... - Mm-hm.
还有一下亲在唇上 and, uh, one on the lips.
嗯 好吧 如果那是明斯克的习俗 Well, if that's what they do in Minsk...
在纽约 是… In New York, it's...
喔 天啊 Oh, boy.
嗨 Hi.
一切都还好吧？ Is everything all right?
喔 是的 很好 很好 Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's fine.
珊帝只是在告诉我他是如何 跟他未婚妻求婚的… Sandy was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée...
实在是太梦幻了 and it was so beautiful.
她最喜欢的花是山茶花 从那首诗… Well, her favorite flower is the camellia. From the poem...
我没办法再听一次 I can't hear it again.
我也没办法再说一次 You know, I can't tell it again.
而我也还好不用听到 And I'm fine never having heard it.
- 瑞秋 我可以跟你说一下话吗？ - 好啊 失陪了 - Rach, can I see you for a sec? - Yeah. Excuse me.
你有发现那男人在我们家 已经哭过三次了吗？ Do you realize that man has cried in our apartment three times? Huh?
我从搬进来之后也没哭过那么多次 I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
听着 罗斯 珊帝只不过是很敏感 不过是如此 Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive. That's all.
好了 看吧 那就是个问题 他太敏感了 Okay, okay. See, that is the problem. He is too sensitive.
太敏感就不能照顾我们的小孩吗？ Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
不 我是说 那个男的… 这真是太好吃了 No, I mean, all I'm saying is that guy... These are amazing.
珊帝做的马德琳饼干 Sandy made madeleines.
这就正是我在说的 This is exactly what I'm talking about.
什么样的男人会做精致的法式饼干呢？ What kind of a guy makes delicate French cookies? Huh?
看起来根本不像是男性化 雄纠纠的饼干 有那种… They're not even butch, manly cookies with...
你知道的 大块咬的快感 You know, with chunks.
嗯 你知道的 我不知道要说什么 Well, you know, I don't know what to say.
我是说 我从没想过你是那种 需要 男人 是真正男人的男人 I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men.
我必须告诉你 罗斯 你也不像是会烙印牛只的西部牛仔 I gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you just came in from branding cattle.
嘿 敏感跟太敏感是有区别的 Hey, there's sensitive and there's too sensitive.
好吧 那什么是叫做太敏感呢？ Okay, what is too sensitive?
不 我不能 我不能这样做 这样不好 No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.
- 但是感觉很棒 而很棒就是好 - 嗯 - But it's nice. And nice is good. - Mm-hm.
而好就不是坏事 因此 我们应该继续亲吻 And good is not bad. Ergo, we should keep kissing.
- 不 - 但是 不 不 - No, no. No. - But...
但是什么？ Ergo.
听着 大卫 如果你没有离开过… Look, David, if you had never left, then...
那或许现在我们还是在一起的 yeah, we'd probably still be together right now.
但是你离开了 而我现在跟麦克交往 而且我很在乎他 But you did leave. And I'm with Mike, and I really care about him.
再见 Well, um, goodbye. Uh...
钥匙可以用 Well, the key works.
还有你 谢谢你的脸部按摩 谢谢你 And, you, thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
- 瑞秋告诉你我们雇了一个男保姆吗？ - 有啊 - Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? - Yeah
我认为那太棒了 - Yeah. I think that's great. - Oh, really?
她有说他会吹直笛 吟诗作对 还会做马德琳饼干吗？ Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
- 好吃吗？ - 好吃极了 但那不是重点 - Oh. How are they? - Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
瑞秋跟我雇了一个男保姆 Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
真的吗？ Really?
男生会做那样的工作吗？ Guys do that?
- 真是奇怪 - 谢谢你 - That's weird. - Thank you.
- 那就像是女人想要成为… - 什么？ - That's like a woman wanting to be a... - What?
- 成为什么？ - 是啊 成为什么？ - What's the end of that sentence? - Yes. What is the end of that sentence?
唔 Uh...
阴茎模特儿 A penis model.
总之 你有告诉钱德有一个男同事… Anyway, hey, did you tell Chandler that some guy from work...
是你遇过最风趣的男人吗？ is the funniest guy you ever met?
- 有啊 怎样呢？ - 哇 - Yeah. So? - Wow.
真的吗？你是不认识钱德吗？ Really? Do you not know Chandler?
这就是他最近行为诡异的原因吗？他在吃醋吗？ Is that why he's acting so weird? He's jealous?
喔 我的天 这真是太疯狂了 Oh, my God, that is crazy.
- 又不是说我喜欢上杰佛瑞 - 那又怎样？ - It's not like I'm attracted to Jeffrey. JOEY: So what?
风趣是钱德的专长 就像罗斯的专长就是… Being funny is Chandler's thing. You know, like Ross' thing is...
科学？ Science?
- 学术？好父亲？ - 不是 - Academia? Being a good father? - No.
我不敢相信他很担心这个 I can't believe he's that upset about this.
摩妮卡 你要做一些危机处理 好吗？ You have to do some damage control.
因为他觉得… Because he's feeling like...
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey. Hey.
- 你们在说些什么？ - 额 - What are you guys talking about? - Uh, ahem.
瑞秋跟我雇了一个男保姆 Rachel and I, uh, hired a male nanny.
你雇了一个男人当保姆？ You got a man who's a nanny?
你雇了一个"男褓"？ You got a "manny"?
你知道的 我是不介意男保姆… You know, I don't mind a male nanny...
但是我倒是很介意男的擦澡护士 but I do draw the line at male wet nurse.
你真是太酷了 老兄 Oh! Oh! You are on a roll, mister.
如果我知道你们要过来 我就会多买几份批萨 If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would've brought more pizza.
好了 好啦 停止 你 你停止了 Okay. Okay. Stop it, you. You stop it.
那有什么好笑的呢？ What is so funny about that?
我不知道 就是… 你说的方式很好笑 I don't know, it's... Well, just the way you say it.
我是说 你很风趣 你有风趣的特质 就是很风趣的人 I mean, you're funny. You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy.
你跟她说我们谈过的事吗？ Did you tell her what we talked about?
对 Yeah.
所以那些是同情的笑声吗？同情笑声 So those were pity laughs? Pity laughs?
亲爱的 听着 Honey, listen.
你根本不需要担心杰佛瑞 You have nothing to worry about with Jeffrey.
喔 是吗？他比我风趣吗？ Oh, yeah? Is he funnier than me?
你们风趣的方式不同 Well, you're different funny.
我是说 你是比较挖苦式的 I mean, you're more sarcastic.
嗯 他是做一些模仿跟打油诗等等的 And, well, he does bits and impressions and limericks.
我也会打油诗啊 I do limericks.
有一个叫做钱德的男人 他老婆让他死在里头 Uh, there once was a man named Chandler whose wife made him die inside.
亲爱的 你知道我认为你超好笑的 Honey, you know I think you're hilarious.
你知道你上星期告诉我的笑话吗？ You know that joke you told me last week?
杰瑞路易斯跟有惺忪睡眼女生的笑话 The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye?
那真是笑死我了 That slayed me.
嗨 那是我编出来告诉你的 Hey. I made up that joke and told it to you.
- 不知道什么时候该闭嘴 - 是的 那就是我的专长 - Not knowing when to shut up. - Yep, that's my thing.
是的 Yup.
有多少男人有你家的钥匙呢？ So how many guys have your key?
不… 实际情况并不像看起来这样糟 No, no, no. It's not as bad as it looks.
我只是在跟一个老朋友道别 I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
你的口红都在他唇上了 Your lipstick's on his mouth.
我们只是刚好都用相同的口红 Oh, uh, we just, uh, happen to wear the same shade.
不 我跟大卫以前交往过 No, um, David and I did used to go out.
但是是几年前了 而且他住在明斯克 他只是回来几天而已 But years ago. And he lives in Minsk. He's only in town for a couple days.
- 你有没有…？ - 不 不 - Did you, uh...? - No. No.
- 亲他？ - 喔 嗯 有 - Kiss him? - Oh, well, yeah.
是的 但是… 听着 她真的很喜欢你 Yes, but you should know, she really likes you.
我不认为你知道你有多幸运 老兄 In fact, I don't think you realize just how lucky you are, fella.
- 别用手指指着我 - 为什么？ - Don't point your finger at me. - Why?
你要怎样呢？ What are you gonna do about it?
好的 我会让你瞧瞧我能怎样 Well, I'll show you what I'm gonna do about it.
- 喔 真的吗？真的吗？ - 你想试试看吗？ - Oh, really? Really? - You want some of that? Huh? Huh?
停止 停止 在有人受伤前快停止 Stop it. Stop it. Before someone gets really hurt.
拿去 大卫 你应该离开了 Here, David, you should just go.
好的 All right.
但是如果我从明斯克回来 你最好小心一点 But if I ever do come back from Minsk, well, you just better watch out.
如果我去明斯克 你也小心点 If I go to Minsk, you better watch out.
喔 你会去明斯克吗？ Oh, you're going to Minsk?
- 喔 或许会 - 真的吗？ - Well, I might. - Really?
如果你要去 最好在春天 春天是很宜人的 Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
- 够了 两位 - 好吧 - Okay, well, guys? - Well...
- 再见 菲比 - 再见 - Goodbye, Phoebe. - Bye.
- 嘿 你在开玩笑吗？ - 没事 没事 - Hey, what, are you kidding me? - Right-o. Right-o.
好好照顾她 Take good care of her.
我很抱歉 非常抱歉 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
如果你想拿回你的钥匙 我完全能理解 If you want your key back, I totally understand.
- 这不会再发生了 对不对？ - 没错 我发誓绝不 - It's never gonna happen again, right? - Right. Never. I swear.
我只想说 如果你来明斯克 这是我的号码 I... Oh, I just want to say, if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number.
我们可以以俄罗斯方式开派对 We'll, uh, party up Vladnik-style.
是 好的 Yeah. All right.
嘿 罗斯 快过来 看珊帝教我吹《甜蜜家庭》 Hey, Ross. Check it out. Sandy taught me "Hot Cross Buns."
真的吗？听起来像是《三只瞎眼鼠》 Really? Sounded like "Three Blind Mice."
- 不 《三只瞎眼鼠》是这样 - 看在老天份上 - No, "Three Blind Mice" goes like this. - I swear to God.
- 谁想要看布偶秀呢？ - 我 我要看布偶秀 - Who's up for puppets? - Me. I'm up for puppets.
喔 请欢迎… Well, please welcome:
鼻塞小子 The Snufflebumps.
谁想要当摇摆先生 还有谁想当小挑剔？ Who wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?
好… 一个两个月大的婴儿 怎么看得懂布偶呢？ Okay, okay, how exactly is a 2-month-old supposed to appreciate puppets?
研究报告显示动作跟颜色 可以帮助大脑发展 Studies show that the movement and colors help their cerebral development.
这些古怪的角色只是要让我们笑而已 The whimsical characters are just for us.
我想要当摇摆先生 I want to be Mr. Wigglemunch.
喔 我的天 Oh, my God.
嗯 我想我知道谁要当小桃剔了 Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus.
- 你实在是很没礼貌 - 喔 我很抱歉 - That was kind of rude. - Oh, I'm sorry.
请代我跟珊帝还有鼻塞小子道歉 Please apologize to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
- 你知道的 他只是在做份内的事 - 你知道吗？ - You know, he was just doing his job. - You know what?
我很抱歉我是唯一一个不喜欢《陈鸿作菜》的人 I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there.
但是我只是… 我就是没有办法接受 But I just... I can't go through with this.
- 别这样 - 不 你知道吗？ - Come on. - No. You know what?
我绝对不会强迫你雇用你不喜欢用的人 I would never force you to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with.
那却是真的 Ugh, that's true.
谢谢你 Thank you.
是你要解雇他的 你去跟他说 You want to fire him, so you're gonna have to go do it.
所以 摇摆先生 这就是分享的重要 So you see, Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to share.
我从你身上学到好多 I am learning so much from you.
好了 我要去土尔沙了 Well, I'm off to Tulsa.
如果你的领班朋友有任何 好笑的奥克拉荷马笑话… So if your maitred' friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes...
叫他寄电子邮件到 WWW.一点也不.COM tell him to e-mail me at www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com.
亲爱的 你可以放轻松了 Honey, you can relax.
昨晚工作时杰佛瑞说了个 很性别歧视的笑话 Last night at work Jeffrey told this really sexist joke.
- 从此之后 再也没有那么好笑了 - 真的？ - After that, not so funny anymore. - Really?
瞧 都是这样的 要学聪明一点的 See, that's the thing. You gotta keep it smart, people.
别错过班机 你知道我爱你 Okay. Don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
我也爱你 I love you too.
- 而我像朋友一样喜欢你 - 没错 - And I like you as a friend. - Right.
- 再见 - 再见 - See you later. - See you.
那个男的真的有说那个笑话吗？ Did the guy really make that joke?
没有 他还是让我捧腹大笑 No, he still kills me.
我发誓昨晚他让我笑到 真的有点尿漏出来 Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear, a little pee came out.
好了 Here goes.
我没有办法看 这就像开除爱摩一样 I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo.
珊帝？嗨 Sandy? Hi.
- 嗨 - 我们… - Hi. - We, uh...
我们可能需要谈谈 We kind of need to talk.
我想恐怕这样是行不通的 I'm afraid it's not working out.
- 喔 - 对… - Oh. - Yeah, um...
我是说 瑞秋跟我认为你带艾玛实在是很棒 I mean, Rachel and I think you are great with Emma. Um...
- 我们只是觉得… - 你 是你觉得 - We just feel... - You. You feel.
我只是觉得… I just feel...
磁场不和 我很抱歉 that the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry.
我们很乐意帮你写推荐信的 We're more than happy to give you a good recommendation.
不 没关系 我还有很多其他的家庭 要我过去帮忙 No, that's okay. I had a lot of offers from other families.
我只是选你们是因为… I just picked you guys because...
- 我最喜欢你们 - 喔 该死的 盖勒 - I liked you the best. - Oh, damn you, Geller.
好了 我很高兴没有任何不愉快 Anyway, uh, well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
一点也没有 你们需要跟一个 能相处融洽的人才行 No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home.
不过 如果你不介意告诉我… Although, if you don't mind telling me...
问题是出在哪里呢？或许是我在将来可以改进的地方 what was the problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
不 不关你的事 是我的问题 No, you know, it's, uh, nothing you did. It's... It's, uh, my issue.
那是什么呢？ What is it?
嘿 Uh, heh...
拜托？ Please?
我只不过是不习惯 You know, I'm just not, um, that comfortable...
跟像你一样敏感的男人相处 with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
可以谅解 That's fair.
但是 我可以问你为什么会是这样呢？ Although, can I ask, why do you think that is?
为什么？我不知道 Why? I don't know.
唔 Um... Uh...
或许是我父亲的缘故 Maybe because of my father?
嗯 Mm.
在我的成长过程中 他总是像个硬汉一样 I mean, uh, you know, when I was growing up, he was a tough guy.
小时候 我不像现在一样 这么有运动细胞 You know, and as a kid, I wasn't the athlete I am now.
我会玩壁球 I play squash.
反正 我总是觉得他认为我太敏感 Anyway, I, uh... I always got the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
那一定很难受 That must have been hard.
的确是很难受 It was hard.
我记得有一次我在房间 跟我的恐龙玩… I remember I was in my bedroom, playing with my dinosaurs...
是一边玩一边学习 Playing and learning.
然后我父亲走了进来说 你是在跟那些东西做什么？ And my father walks in and says, "What are you doing with those things?
你有什么不对劲？ What's wrong with you?
为什么你不能去外面 像真正的男生一样玩呢？ Why aren't you outside playing like a real boy?"
- 但是你是真正的男生啊 - 我知道我是的 - But you are a real boy. - I know I am.
夏天很热的时候 为什么不能穿背心呢？ And when it's summer and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
没关系 哭泣是好事 大声哭出来吧 It's all right. Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
还有更多 Here comes some more.
哪一种船是永远不会沉的船呢？ And what's the one kind of boat that can never ever sink?
- 哪一种？ - 友船 - What kind? - A friendship.
哇 你真让我大开眼界 Wow. You blow my mind.
- 喔 我得走了 - 啊 - Oh, I gotta go. - Aw.
- 我该给你多少呢？ - 二十块 - How much do I owe you? - Twenty bucks.
就像是史上最便宜的大学了 It's like the cheapest college ever.