- 嘿 - 嗯 嗯 好啦 当然 - Hey. - Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure.
听着 我们可以谈谈 昨晚这里发生的事吗？ Look, can we talk about what happened here last night?
当然 给我几秒钟让我变得跟你一样 怒气冲天 怪里怪气的 Sure. Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you.
你敢相信某某人昨天晚上 做了某某事吗？ You believe that whoever did something last night did what they did or didn't do?
你真的不知道我在说什么吗？ Okay, you really don't know what I'm talking about?
- 不知道 - 好的 昨天晚上 在派对过后… - No. - Okay. Last night, after the party...
我看到瑞秋在你家的阳台上 亲她办公室的那个混蛋 I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
在我家阳台？真的吗？ Our balcony? Seriously?
真是好玩 我告诉摩妮卡我们应该 在阳台上加个灯的 That's so funny. I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony...
可她说"不 不 外面太冷 没有人会站到外面" 然后我说… and she said, "No, no. It's too cold. Nobody will go out there." And I said:
"如果我们加个灯 或许就会有人了" "Maybe if we put some lights out there they will."
对 那就是我要谈的事 我看到瑞秋亲吻一个男的… Right, that's what I came over to talk about. I saw Rachel kissing some guy...
就在你家阳台上 即使那里一片漆黑 on your balcony, even though there were no lights!
那你要跟她谈谈吗？ So are you gonna talk to her?
为什么？为什么我要？ 如果她要找寻新生活 没关系 Why? Why should I? I mean, if she wants to move on, that's fine.
你知道"没关系"要怎样说才有 说服力吗？喷着口水用力吼 You know when "that's fine" sounds true? When someone yells it and spits.
不 我是说真的 如果她想要跟 别人约会 没关系 我不在乎 No, I'm serious. I mean, if she wants to date people, fine. I don't care.
但是至少她要跟我说一声啊 But at least she could have told me.
你知道的 我的生活都已经停摆 注意力完全集中在艾玛身上 You know, I've been putting my life on hold and concentrating on Emma.
但是如果她要去亲那些不是 很熟的男人 我也要那样做 But if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I.
很好笑 罗斯是同志 哈哈 Very funny! Ross is gay! Ha, ha.
不 很好 所以你也要追寻 新的生活了 No, no. Good, so you're moving on.
你知道你要怎么样过新生活吗？ Do you have any idea where you're moving on to?
我是有很多机会的 I've got plenty of opportunities.
刚刚在咖啡厅就有个女人对我笑 Just now, there was some woman at the coffeehouse smiled at me.
还有一天在地铁 有个女人 "不小心"坐到我的手 And then the other day on the subway, a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
老兄 别再跟我说你疯狂的单身生活了 Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life.
还有 在学校有个人类学家 And there's an anthropologist atschooL"
在跨部门餐会的时候 不停在勾搭我 who totally came on to me during the interdepartmental potluck dinner.
我为什么要结婚呢？ Why did I get married?
嘿 让我问你们一个问题 Hey, let me ask you guys something.
我明天要拍新的大头照 I'm having new headshots taken tomorrow.
摄影师说 她觉得我应该要修眉毛 The photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed.
男生那样做是不是很怪呢？ Is that weird for a guy?
- 嗯 那要看情况 - 什么情况？ - Well, it depends. - On?
看他是在变性过程中的什么阶段罗 On how far along he is in the sex-change process.
不 我完全不同意 我觉得男生那样做没有什么 No, I totally disagree. I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that.
尤其是演员 Especially an actor.
我不是说你有那个必要 你的眉毛… I mean, not that you need to. Your eyebrows are...
你们别这样 别盯着我看 要吓死我了 Stop it, you guys. Stop staring, you're freaking me out.
你的手指上也有毛 Your knuckles are kind of hairy too.
天啊 现在我也要除这些毛吗？ Oh, man, now I have to get those done too?
- 哇 你要做的改造可不少啊 - 你也染发啊 - Wow, talk about high maintenance. - You dye your hair.
- 我是女人啊 - 双重标准 - I'm a woman. - Double standards!
差点忘记 你今晚会去麦克的钢琴酒吧吗？ Before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
只要我不需要上台唱歌 Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
但是大家都要唱歌啊 会很好玩的 But everybody sings. It's so fun.
上次有个可爱的老先生上台… Last time, this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out...
忘了所有的台词 挨呆了 然后大家就嘘他下台 真是好玩 and everyone booed him off the stage. It was so funny.
听着 我唱歌不行的 Look, I'm not good at singing.
怎样？你怕了吗？怕我唱得比你好吗？ Oh, what's the matter? You scared? You afraid I'm a better singer?
怕我会用唱歌打败你吗？ You afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
不 这招对我没用 Nope. Nope. It's not working on me.
哇 我一定是长大了 Wow, I must be growing up.
好吧 就过来支持麦克就好了 你不需要唱歌 Okay, fine. Just please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
所以我不用唱歌 而且还可以坐在那里讨论 批评其他人？ So I don't have to sing, and I can just sit there and pass judgment on others?
- 还可以一边喝酒 - 我会去 - While drinking. - I'm there.
嘿 你们好 我需要你们的帮忙 Hi, you guys. Listen, I really need your help.
我想我做了一件很蠢的事 I think I did something really stupid.
嗯 是的 瑞秋 但是至少她很漂亮 Well, yes, Rachel, but you got something so beautiful out of it.
不 不是那件事 我昨晚亲了盖文 No, not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
- 我的天 - 你亲了他？ - My God. - You kissed him?
是啊 就在派对结束之后 我们在阳台上… Yeah, it was after the party, we were on the balcony...
等等 我一直都在家 为什么没看到？ Wait, wait, wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I miss that?
派对才刚结束 你可能正忙着烫平包装纸 Well, it was the end of the party. You were probably ironing wrapping paper.
喔 是啊 Oh, yeah.
那你们怎么会亲起来的呢？ So how did you end up kissing?
我们单独在一起 然后他对我又很体贴 We were all alone and he was being really nice...
- 然后又送我这条围巾 - 我以为你讨厌他 - and he gave me this scarf. - I thought you hated him.
甜心 爱与恨之间只有一线之隔 Well, there is a thin line between love and hate...
而结果 那条线就是这条围巾 and it turns out that line is a scarf.
你在想要跟这男的交往吗？ Are you thinking of starting something up with this guy?
我不知道 真是太复杂了 这男的是我同事耶 I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy.
我已经有小孩 还有罗斯 我不知道该怎么办 I have the baby, and I have Ross. I don't know what to do.
而我再十分钟就要进办公室见到盖文了 And I have to be at the office and see Gavin in 10 minutes.
听起来你应该想想你要什么 要怎么跟盖文说了 Sounds like you need to think about what you want and talk to Gavin.
- 而且你一定得要跟罗斯谈谈 - 或者… - And you definitely should talk to Ross. - Or...
我可以打电话请病假 那就不用管了 I could call in sick and not deal with it at all.
请了五个月的产假 才回去上班四天… Wow! Five months maternity leave, you're back for four days...
亲了一个同事就请病假 他们有你这个员工真幸运 kiss a co-worker and call in sick. They are lucky to have you.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
- 我有预约修眉毛 - 什么姓名？ - I'm here for my eyebrow appointment. - Name?
钱德宾 Chandler Bing.
好的 很好 Okay, very good.
请先坐一下 宾先生 桑妮亚很快就出来了 Have a seat right here, Mr. Bing, and Sonya will be right with you.
- 好的 谢谢 - 嗯 - Okay. Thanks. - Mm-hm.
喔 喔 Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
嗯 Uh-oh.
我碰了那东西 I touched the stuff.
让我来处理 I'll take care of it.
谢谢 Thanks.
那你们… 你们这里有很多男生会来吗？ So do you...? Do you get a lot of guys in here?
- 喔 绝对的 - 噢 真好 - Oh, absolutely. - Oh, good.
- 你想要认识他们吗？ - 好了 我们开始吧 - You looking to meet somebody? - All right, let's just do this.
好的 我们等一下再上热蜡 Okay, we'll get to the wax in a minute.
首先我要先拔一些杂毛 好吗？ First, I want to tweeze some of the strays, okay?
- 这可能会有点痛 - 我很可以忍痛… - Now, this may sting just a little bit. - I have an extremely high threshold...
妈妈咪啊 喔 我的脸 我的脸 Holy Mother of God! Oh, my face! My face!
我没事 我没事 我没事 I'm all right. I'm all right. I'm all right.
只是有点吓到 没什么 It's just a bit of shock, that's all.
- 但是我没事 你可以继续了 - 好的 - But I'll be fine. You can go again. - Okay.
抱歉 Sorry.
可恶 你这女人 Damn it, woman!
噢 哎哟 OW, ow! Oh!
好吧 Okay.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - hey - Hi
全纽约最有身价的单身汉来了 新生活进行得如何呢？ It's the most eligible man in New York. How's the moving on going?
不太好 在地铁上 又有个人坐到我的手 Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand...
但是 这个人既不是女性 也没有穿内裤 but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
或许你完全错估情势了 我是说 你想想看 Maybe you're going about this the wrong way. I mean, think about it:
单身白种男性 离婚三次 有两个非婚生子女 Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children.
你应该自己心里有数的 The personal ad writes itself.
真是好笑 是啊 那你觉得你这辈子会找到工作吗？ You know, that's funny. Yeah. So do you think you'll ever work again?
你在干嘛？你知道我们会斗个没完的 What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out.
我不敢相信 瑞秋就这样抛下 我们的过去 而且没有跟我说 I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me.
或许她并没有抛下 Maybe she didn't move on.
或许那只是冲动之下的吻 过生日才发生一次的那种 Maybe that kiss was just an impulsive, one-time birthday thing.
不 一个月以前 她还把电话号码 留给一个在酒吧认识的男的 No, a month ago, she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
- 她有跟他出去吗？ - 没有 当他打电话来时… - Did she go out with him? - No. When he called...
我把留官丢了 I threw the message away.
真是厉害啊 Ah, the highroad.
你知道吗？够了 说够了 我要展开新生活了 All right, you know what? Enough. Enough talking. I have to get moving.
嘿 瞧瞧那两个金发美眉 嘿 跟我一起过去 Hey, check out those two blonds over there. Hey, come with me.
你要害每个人都离婚吗？ Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
你不用做什么 但是我们两捆一起过去会比较好 You don't have to do anything. It'll just be easier if it's two of us.
就像大学一样 记得吗？你先过去说笑话热场面 Like college, remember? First, you break the ice with some kind of a joke...
让她们知道你是好玩的人 然后我再插入有趣的话题 so they know you're the funny one. I swoop in with interesting conversation...
让她们知道我既聪明 有教养又性感 so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding sexy one.
我还以为说笑话是我的专利 I thought I got to make the jokes.
- 你不用上班吗？ - 拜托 来吧 - Don't you have to be at work? - Oh, come on.
哈罗 我叫钱德 这是我朋友罗斯 Hello. Hi, my name's Chandler. This is my friend Ross right here.
我们在想… We were wondering...
如果你们有兴趣的话 我们还需要六个人来完成人体金字塔 if you're up for it, we only need six more people for a human pyramid.
接手 接手 Swoop. Swoop.
噢… 那… Uh... So, um...
嘿 我注意到你在看报纸 Hey, I notice you're reading the paper.
欧洲又有水灾了 对吗？ Another flood in Europe, huh?
问题来了 Um, here's a question:
你宁愿被淹死还是被活活烧死？ Would you rather drown or be burned alive?
- 很抱歉 我们要走了 - 好的 - I'm sorry, we're just leaving. - Okay.
我们还是宝刀未老 We still got it.
- 是谁？ - 盖文 我带一些汤来给你 - Who is it? - Gavin. I brought you some soup.
- 为什么？ - 我听说你生病了 - Why? - Uh, I heard your were sick.
喔 对 等一下 让我先整理一下 Oh, right! Hold on, let me just clean up in here a little bit.
哈罗 盖文 Hello, Gavin.
今天上班我好想你 你还好吗？ I missed you at work. How you feeling?
我不想对你说谎 我病得很重 I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick.
喔 好 因为我还担心… Oh, good. Because I was having a totally paranoid moment...
你是在装病逃避我 where I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
喔 不 不 不 Oh, no, no, no.
我昨晚很愉快 So I had fun last night.
我也是 So did I.
你的病到底传染性有多高呢？ Exactly how contagious is this thing you have?
是因为站在阳台上受凉了 还是被猴子咬呢？? Is it a cold from standing on the balcony, or did a monkey bite you?
- 只是单纯的感冒 - 有发烧吗？ - It's just a cold. - Do you have a fever?
让我看看 Let me see.
嗯 Um...
怎么？怎么了？怎么回事？ What? What is it? What's the matter?
在那张照片中 罗斯在对你做什么？ What's Ross doing to you in that picture?
喔 他在用化石刷子帮我除尘 Oh, he's dusting me with a fossil brush.
他觉得那样很好玩 He thought it would be funny.
- 是啊 - 是的 - Right. Right. - Yeah.
- 罗斯 - 是啊 - Ross. - Yeah.
你们之间有什么吗？我不想要当第三者 What's the deal with you guys? I don't wanna get in the middle of anything.
你不是第三者 别担心罗斯 Oh, you're not getting in the middle of anything. Don't worry about Ross.
快躲 是罗斯 躲起来 Hide! That's Ross! Hide!
- 躲起来 躲起来 - 但是你说不用担心… - Hide! Hide! - Yeah, but you said not to worry...
我说谎 而且我也没有生病 躲到窗廉后面 I lied and I'm not sick either! Just stay behind the curtain!
- 嗨 - 喔 莫莉 不是罗斯 - Hi. - Oh, Molly. You're not Ross.
不是 我是来接艾玛到你妈家的 记得吗？ No. I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
对 是的 是的 Right. Yes, yes.
- 别紧张 - 怎么了？ - Don't panic. - What?
有个男人躲在窗帘后面 There is a man behind your curtain.
- 我皮包里有防狼喷雾 - 不 没关系 不 不 不 - I have Mace in my purse. - No, that's okay! No, no, no.
那是我同事盖文在发神经 出来吧 This is my business associate Gavin being silly. Come out from behind there.
嗨 我叫盖文 很高兴认识你 Hi. Gavin. Pleased to meet you.
是我要站在那里的 It was my idea to stand there.
- 哈罗 我去带艾玛 - 好的 - Hello. I'll just go get Emma. - Okay.
那么… So...
- 为什么我要躲呢？ - 我以为那是罗斯 - why did I have to hide? - I thought it was Ross.
我以为你们之间已经没有什么了 I thought there was nothing going on between you.
是没有 完全没有 There isn't. There totally isn't.
你听到钥匙转动的声音 就像野牛一样跳了起来 You hear keys in the hall and you jump like a bronco coming out of the chute.
我曾经是牛仔 I used to be a rodeo clown.
好的 听着 盖文 Um, all right, look, Gavin...
我… I...
我想 你在这里 让我觉得有罪恶威 I guess I felt guilty that you were here...
我不该有这种感觉的 Which I shouldn't.
你知道的 罗斯跟我并没有在交征 You know, Ross and I are not in a relationship...
但是 他是我孩子的父亲 而且… but he is the father of my child. And, you know...
我们还住在一起 还有 我们有太多过去 你知道吗？ we do live together. And plus, there's just so much history, you know?
只是…我不知道 It's just... I don't know.
- 我很抱歉 我头脑很不清楚了 - 没关系 - I'm sorry. I'm just all over the place. - It's okay.
这或许不关我的事 但是我可以给你一个建议吗？ It's probably not my place, but can I give you a piece of advice?
- 好的 - 你应该跟罗斯谈这件事 - Yes. - You should talk to Ross about all this.
大家都这样说 People keep saying that.
我很抱歉 盖文 Oh, I'm sorry, Gavin.
别抱歉 Don't be.
只是现在不是好时机 It's just bad timing.
讲真的吗？牛仔？ So seriously, rodeo clown?
技术最棒的小姐 技术最棒的 One of the best, ma'am. One of the best.
(钢琴酒吧与夜总会)
*No time for losers
*Cause we are the champions
*Of the world
喔 她是我女朋友 不是每个上台的都得这样 Oh, she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here.
我要休息一下 当我们回来时 I'm gonna take a little break, and when we come back...
肯尼将要演唱《我自摸》 we've got Kenneth singing "I Touch Myself."
我只负责弹琴 I'm not here to judge.
- 你一定要上台唱 - 不 我告诉过你我不行 - You have got to sing. - No, I told you I can't.
但是你会很喜欢的 而且你的声音很好听 But you would have so much fun. And you have a really nice voice.
- 你是何时听到我唱歌的？ - 常常 当你在煮饭的时候 - When have you heard me sing? - All the time, when you're cooking.
- 什么？ - 是啊 你总是一边唱着… - What? - Yeah, you're always singing...
"好吃 好吃 好吃 我肚肚里有爱爱" "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy."
是啊 我那倒是唱得不错 Yeah, I do rock that one.
你难道一点都不想要上去唱吗？ Isn't there just a little part of you that wants to get up there?
一点而已 但是老天 好可怕喔 Just a little. But, God, it's so scary.
我根本不知道要唱什么 I don't even know what I would sing.
- 嗯 我有一本歌本在… - 《破晓时分》 - Well, I've got a book around... -"Delta Dawn."
(中央咖啡厅)
嗨 我不得不注意到 你特别的项链 Hi. I couldn't help but notice, but that's an unusual necklace.
你一个小时前就来搭讪过了 You already hit on me an hour ago.
没错 所以确定不要吗？ Right. So that's a firm no?
我不敢相信 我一直被判出局 I don't believe this. I just keep striking out.
我也不敢相信 I don't get it either.
我是说 很明显地你是很饥渴了 I mean, you're obviously desperate.
你问女人她们想要如何死法 You're asking women how they wanna be killed.
太棒了 瑞秋继续去亲男人… This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys...
直到她找到她想要的男人 而我将孤单地死去 ...until she finds the one she wants, and I'm gonna die alone.
是淹死 还是… By drowning or...?
- 他为什么要跟我分手呢？ - 我不知道 亲爱的 - Why would he break up with me? - I don't know, sweetie.
我要的只不过是爱他 希望他也爱我 All I ever wanted was to just love him and have him love me back.
我是说 我有这么不值得爱吗？ I mean, am I so unlovable?
- 喔 - 就是啊 - Wow. - I know.
好了 以上是肯尼所带来的… All right. That was Kenneth with his...
即兴表演《我自摸》 ...much too literal rendition of "I Touch Myself."
接下来是摩妮卡演唱《破晓时分》 Coming up next, we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn."
等等 我不能在这些人面前唱 Wait. I can't sing in front of all these people.
假装他们不在 没关系的 Just pretend they're not even here. It's okay.
一旦聚光灯照到你 会很亮的 反正你也看不到任何人 Once that spotlight hits you, it's so bright, you won't see anyone anyway.
嗨 我是摩妮卡 我要唱的是《破晓时分》 Hi, I'm Monica. And I'm going to be singing "Delta Dawn."
*Delta Dawn What's that flower you have on?*
*Could it be a faded rose From days gone by?*
- 你可以看穿她的上衣吗？ - 像X光一样 - Can you totally see through her shirt? - Like an x-ray.
今天不是不穿内衣的好日子 Bad day not to wear a bra.
*Take me to that mansion in the sky*
嘿 Hey.
我需要你的帮忙 I need your help.
看起来很严重 哇 Wow, it seems serious.
是怎么了呢？艾希莉贾德？ What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
我要照新的大头照 所以我去修了眉毛 I'm getting new headshots taken. So I went to get my eyebrows shaped.
很抱歉 让我笑一下吧 I'm sorry. Moment to make fun of that, please.
我看起来可能娘娘腔的 但是我还是可以海扁你的 I may be a sissy, but I'll still pound you into the ground.
听着 好痛喔 我只能让她做一边 所以就… Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now...
两边不对称了 they don't match!
就像是毛毛虫宝宝在追妈妈一样 It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama.
你得要帮我 好吗？看 我有麦克笔 You gotta help me out, okay? Look, I have a magic marker.
帮我把细的这边画粗 照起相来才不会很蠢 Fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures.
好的 但是 首先这是绿色的 Okay, first of all, this is green.
- 我他妈的该怎么办呢？ - 我会帮你的 - What the hell am I supposed to do? - I will help you out...
但是你要答应我 不会把我要告诉你的事说出去 but you have to promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you.
什么事？什么事？ What? What?
好了 Okay.
你知道大部分的小孩都是利用除草 或是倒垃圾什么的… You know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn...
来赚取零用钱 而我赚零用钱的方式… or taking out the garbage? Well, I earned mine...
就是帮我父亲 还有他的"合伙人"拔眉毛 by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business partners."
喔 我的天 Oh, my God.
好的 我猜你不需要我的帮忙了 乔伊美眉 Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help, Victor-Victoria.
不 不 不 我要 我要 我需要你的帮忙 No, no, no. I do. I do. I need your help.
但是钱德 我不知道能不能 再忍受拔毛 真的好痛 But, Chandler, I don't know if I can take any more plucking. It hurt so bad.
安啦 有我的冰块跟芦苓配方 加上… Not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe vera and my gentle...
连自己也厌恶的温柔接触 ...self-loathing touch.
*Take me to that mansion in the sky*
噢 Aww...
我很抱歉 歌唱完了 I'm sorry, the song's over.
- 你有看到我在上面吗？ - 从头到尾看透透 - Did you see me up there? - Every little bit of you.
我不敢相信我在大家面前唱歌 而且他们喜欢我 I can't believe I sang in front of people and they liked me.
你们有听到还有人大喊 "瞧瞧那些小费"吗？ Did you hear that guy shouting, "Look at those tips"?
我是说 我有帮你多赚小费吗？ I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
当然有 Sure.
- 摩妮卡 不是说你唱得不好… - 不好？ - Mon, not that you didn't sound good... - Good?
你没有听到他们的叫声吗？我棒透了 Didn't you hear them? I was great!
谢谢你逼我这样做 这是我有过最好的礼物了 Thank you so much for making me do this. That is the best gift ever.
内衣也会是好礼物 Also a good gift: underwear.
谢谢你让过来 Thank you so much for letting me do this.
公共厕所让我觉得很恶心 我根本没有办法上厕所 更别说其他的 Public bathrooms freak me out. I can't even pee, let alone do anything else.
但是更棒的是 你根本不介意说出来 But what's great is, you don't mind talking about it.
这真是太神奇了 在我跟艾瑞克分手的 这一天 我就遇见了你 It is so amazing that I met you on the same day that Eric broke up with me...
这就是 失去一个男朋友 又得到一个男朋友 because it's like, you lose a boyfriend, and you get a boyfriend.
嗯 Uh-huh.
你不用担心 这不是补货疗伤法 我己经完全不爱艾瑞克了 No, don't worry. This is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.
唷 Phew.
挑得真好 罗斯 Good choice, Ross.
嘿 嗨 你在家 Oh, hey. Hi. There you are.
- 我到处在找你 - 哈罗 我在家 - I've been looking for you everywhere. - Hello. Well, here I am.
我妈到九点才会把孩子带过来 My mom is not bringing the baby back until 9:00.
所以我希望 我们可以有机会来… So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of...
- 有人在这里吗？ - 是的 是蜜雪儿 - Somebody here? - Oh, yeah. That's Michelle.
- 谁？ - 喔 是我最近在约会的女生 - Who? - Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.
- 你有在约会？ - 是啊 我没有提过吗？ - You've been seeing someone? - Yeah, didn't I mention that?
对 我是说 我们并没有约会很久 I mean, we haven't been going out too long...
但是我们之间有很微妙的感情 but there's this amazing connection between us.
而且就在你进来之前 她才说我是她男朋友 I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend.
我是觉得有点太快 但是觉得也不错 I thought it was a little too soon, but also, it felt kind of nice.
你为什么要用青霉素呢？ What are you taking amoxicillin for?
真是太棒了 你已经可以自在的… How great is this? You're already comfortable enough...
偷看我的东西了 to look through my stuff.
很抱歉 蜜雪儿 这位是我室友 瑞秋 I'm sorry, Michelle, this is my roommate, Rachel.
而且我也是艾玛的母亲 And I'm also Emma's mother.
- 艾玛是谁呢？ - 我跟你说过 是我的女儿 - Who's Emma? - I told you about my daughter.
这位是你女儿？ This is your daughter?
我可以当你的新妈妈喔 I could be your new mommy.
好了 And done.
我的天 Oh, my God.
我根本都没感觉 嘿 你还在找工作吗？ I didn't feel a thing. Hey, are you still looking for a job?
你比那个沙龙的臭娘们会拔多了 Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.
- 谢谢 想要看看吗？ - 好啊 - Thanks. Wanna see what it looks like? - Yeah.
嘿 Hey!
完全对称了 很好看耶 They totally match. They look great.
看起来真棒 你好吗？ They look great. How you doing?
是啊 我觉得看起来挺不错的 我本来有点担心会… Yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was...
让这上面的胎记露出来 uncovering a birthmark right about there...
但原来那只是一点巧克力渣 but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
- 钱德 真是威谢你 - 不用客气 - Chandler, thank you so much. - No problem.
听着 我们刚花了一小时做娘们的事 Listen, that was a pretty girlie hour we just spent.
我们应该做一些男人的事来弥补 We should do something manly to make up for it.
是啊 Yeah.
- 把睫毛夹卷 - 好啊 - Curl my eyelashes. - Yeah!
下一首歌我想唱比较轻快的 好吗？ For my next song, I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat, all right?
唱《指针姐妹合唱团》的 《我好兴奋》怎样呢？ Oh, how about the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"?
弹得活泼一点哦 And make it bouncy.
嗯 你自己就可以办得到了 Well, you can probably take care of that on your end.
很抱歉我迟到了 等一下你看到乔伊 就知道为什么了 I'm sorry I'm late. You'll understand when you see Joey.
亲爱的 你正好赶上 我正要唱另一首歌 Honey, you're just in time. I'm about to sing another song.
- 真的？在所有人面前吗？ - 而且他们很喜欢我 - Really? In front of all these people? - And they love me.
- 我的天 - 她给的正是他们想要的 - Oh, my God. - She gives the people what they want.
好的 看着 All right, watch.
* Tonight, tonight we're gonna Make it happen*
*Tonight we'll put all other things aside*
*Get in this time And show me some affection*
那是我老婆的乳头吗？ Are those my wife's nipples?
真是好玩 我之前怎么没有注意到？要不然我不会让她上去的 Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before. I wouldn't have let her go up again.
我必须制止她 I've got to stop this.
*Wrap myself around you*
- 嘿 - 嘿 - HI - HI
耶 Yeah!
管他的 他们还是爱我 Oh, who cares? They still love me.
你 在自模 出去 You, touching yourself! Out!
她蛮爱上厕所的 Wow! She does that a lot.
罗斯 你没有告诉我你是博士 Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor.
等一下 你还没有告诉她 你是博士？ Wait a minute. You haven't even told her you are a doctor yet?
你认识她多久呢？一个小时吗？ How long have you known her, like an hour?
事实上是一个小时半 Actually, about an hour and a half.
我告诉过你不久 但是我们之间有 很微妙的感觉 I told you it wasn't long, but there's an amazing connection between us.
你也有威觉到吗？ You feel that too? Oh!
- 我以为只是我单方面而已 - 你开玩笑吗？ - I thought that that was just me. - Are you kidding?
- 你想要这周末一起去度假吗？ - 再说 - Do you wanna go away this weekend? - We'll see.
好 罗斯 这是怎么回事呢？ Ross, what's going on here?
我们现在是可以带陌生女人回家t吗？ Are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
我不知道 我们现在是可以 在阳台上亲吻男人了吗？ I don't know. Are we just kissing guys on balconies?
- 你怎么会知道呢？ - 我有千里眼 - How do you know about that? - Through the magic of sight.
- 我在这里哄我们的女儿睡觉 - 艾玛 - I was here, putting our child to sleep... - Emma.
当我从窗户看过去 就看到你在亲一个男的 When I looked through the window and saw you kissing a guy...
一个你认识有多久的男生 一星期吗？ you've known for what, a week?
天啊 就是这原因吗？所以你带她回来报复我吗？ God, is that what this is all about? You bring her up here to get back at me?
不 事实上是我要上厕所 而我又不能上公共厕所 No, actually, see, I had to pee because I can't use public bathrooms...
- 因为有寄生虫 - 好了 蜜雪儿 你该走了 - because of the doody parasites. - Okay, Michelle, it's time to go.
- 那 打电话给我 - 好的 - Well, call me. - Okay.
等等 你没有我的电话 Wait, you don't have my phone number.
你知道吗？如果是命中注定 我会猜到的 You know what? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it.
再见 Bye-bye.
高招 Score.
你不喜欢她吗？我还希望我们可以… Did you not like her? Because I was hoping we could come...
去参加你的阳台亲吻派对 to your kissing parties on the balcony.
我不敢相信你竟然小题大作 只不过是一个吻 I can't believe you are making a big deal about this. It was one kiss!
- 跟一个人 一次而已 - 喔 真的吗？ - One guy. One time! - Oh, really?
- 是啊 - 喔 真的？ - Yeah. - Oh, really?
喔 真的 Oh, yeah.
- 那个酒吧认识的男的呢？ - 谁？ - What about the guy from the bar? - Who?
你给他电话号码的那一个 The guy you gave your number to.
- 你是怎么知道的？ - 因为他打来找你 - How do you know about that? - Because he called here looking for you.
所以别跟我说 你亲这个男同事 只是一次而已 So don't tell me kissing this guy from work is a one-time thing.
因为你又在酒吧 又在阳台上… Because you've been out there in bars and on balconies...
已经一个多月了 而你根本连想告诉我的意思都没有 for over a month now. And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me.
- 为什么我没有拿到留言？ - 什么？ - Why didn't I get that message? - What?
那个酒吧的男的留言？为什么我没有拿到留言？ From the guy in the bar? Why didn't I get that message?
因为我折起来放到裤子口袋里了 Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket.
你没有去找过吗？ Do you...? Do you not look there?
罗斯 Ross.
我没有拿给你 I never gave it to you.
为什么？ Why?
- 我不知道 - 天啊 你知道吗？我不… - I don't know. - Oh, God, you know what? I don't...
你以为你是谁呢？谁让你有权决定… Who do you think you are? Who are you to decide...
什么留言我该收或是不该收？ what messages I should or should not get?!
我是谁？我是那个照顾我们孩子的人 Who am I? I'm the guy who's taking care of our baby...
- 而你却在酒吧跟男人混 - 我真不敢相信 - while you're at bars meeting guys! - I cannot believe you.
我回来希望能够 跟你成熟的谈谈我们之间 I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation about us.
但是我不能跟会藏我留言 还会带疯女人… But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages...
回我公寓的人谈 and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
嘿 正常的人没有一个要跟我回来 Hey, none of the sane ones wanted to come back with me!
这不是重点好吗？重点是… That's not the point, okay? The point is...
是你抛下我们的过去 而你却没有说 you are the one who moved on and didn't tell anyone.
天啊 罗斯 这真是糟透了 Oh, God, Ross, this is just so messed up.
我们是怎么了？当大家知道我们的情况都会问… What is wrong with us? When people hear about our situation, they ask:
"你们住在一起 不是一对 但是你们又有小孩？ "You live together, but you're not a couple, yet you have a baby?
不是很奇怪吗？"我会说 "不会 我们都没问题" Isn't that weird?" And I say, "No. It's not, because it works for us."
但是你知道吗？这问题很大 But you know what? This doesn't work.
- 事实上 完全行不通 - 的确如此 - In fact, this is the opposite of working. - Clearly.
你也知道 And you know...
我们有说过只要一切没问题 我们就会一直住在一起 we said that we would live together as long as this makes sense...
然而 或许一切不再是没问题了 and maybe this just doesn't make sense anymore.
是啊 或许不再是了 Yeah, maybe not.
那你想要怎样呢？ So, what do you wanna do?
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
我跟艾玛可以过来住一阵子吗？ Can Emma and I live here for a while?
天啊 God. Uh...
- 当然可以 - 谢谢你 - Of course. - Thank you.
你的眉毛很奇怪 Your eyebrows look weird.
*Jeremiah was a bullfrog
Was a good friend of mine
Never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine*
所以不管怎样 你都会自模就对了 So you'll just touch yourself for anything, then?