你好，籬笆 Hello, fence.
你好，樹葉 Hello, leaves.
你好，天空 Hello, sky.
給我滾出去 Get off my lawn!
闖入者 Trespasser.
要我活活把你打死嗎？ Do you want to be eaten alive?
不要 那就給我滾啊 No. Then get out of here!
我的車 My trike.
離我家遠一點 Stay away from my house!
DJ 要遲到了 DJ! We're gonna be late.
好，媽我來了 Yeah, Mom, I'm coming. I'm coming.
又有一輛三輪車 October 30th: Another tricycle.
我來了 I'm coming.
媽 Mom.
媽，他又抓狂了 他又拆了一輛三輪車 Mom, he did it again. He took another tricycle.
好了 ，兒子 你不要多管閒事 Okay, honey, we've talked about this.
你不可以整天都待在你的房間裡頭 You cannot stay up in your room all day...
用望遠鏡盯著那個老頭子看 ...staring at an old man through a telescope.
可是那棟房子真的很詭異 But, Mom, there's something wrong with that house.
是真的 I'm serious.
你是怎麼回事？ What was that?
是真的 I'm serious.
你兒子聲音怪怪的 His voice sounds funny.
有人要進入青春期了 Someone is hitting puberty.
“我的身體是怎麼了？” 對不對啊？ "What's happening to my body?" Right, buddy?
我看啊，你還是跟我們去好了 Maybe you should come with us.
這小子太忙了 他要進行監視任務 Oh, the boy's too busy. He's got his spying to do.
我才沒有 I'm not spying.
我 Well...
“我” 沒關係，兒子 "Well..." That's okay, buddy.
我在你這個年紀也做過同樣的事 When I was your age, I did exactly the same thing.
我用的是雙眼望遠鏡 看的是可愛的雙胞胎姐妹 Of course, it was with binoculars and involved the lovely Jensen twins.
不過她們都比不上你那美麗的媽咪 Neither of which was as lovely as your beautiful mother.
請你做個好人 幫我把假門牙拿出來 Will you be an angel and help me bring out the incisor?
幫我拿一下，兒子 假門牙 The incisor. Hold this.
你就不能忘了那個 Yeah, you don't wanna forget that.
楊莉花姐姐等一下就會過來了 Elizabeth will be here in a few hours.
要是有什麼事 打電話報警，躲進衣櫃裡 If anything happens, call the police and hide.
他知道啦 He knows that.
明天晚上見了 See you tomorrow night.
你搞什麼？ 我沒事 What have you done? Just let me drive this thing, will you?
讓我來好好開車，可以嗎？
DJ呢？ 我沒事 Where is DJ? Where's DJ? I'm fine.
你是不是希望 兒子就躺在車子底下？ You would be so happy if he was under the car, wouldn't you?
抱歉，戴上面具視線不太好 Sorry. It's hard to see with the mask on.
那就把面具拿下來，巧達 Then why don't you keep it off, Chowder?
你為什麼關上車窗？ Why did you put up your window?
巧達 我關上車窗，冷氣才會冷 Chowder. It's aerodynamic.
嗨，DJ 我們要趕時間 Hi, DJ. We've got to make time.
孩子 The children. The children.
什麼孩子？ 拜拜，寶貝 What children? Bye-bye, baby.
快跟他說你愛他，拜託 他知道啦 Tell him you love him, dear. He knows that.
快跟兒子說你愛他 我不想跟他說我愛他 Tell your son you love him. I don't wanna tell him.
他知道我愛他 他是你兒子 He knows I love him. He's your son.
你不說他不會知道的，把車窗搖下來 我們要遲到了 You have to say it. Roll it down. We're gonna be late.
我們都愛你 We both love you.
你爸也愛你哦 沒錯 That includes your dad. That's right.
你吻他吻夠了 給他一個飛吻 He's had enough kisses. Blow him a kiss.
給他一個飛吻嘛 再見，孩子 Blow him a kiss. Goodbye.
開心點，萬聖節快到了 Cheer up. It's almost Halloween.
一天又3小時後 就有糖吃囉 In one day and three hours, it's candy time.
好嗎？ Okay?
你看，我有個新籃球 酷 Check it out, I got a new ball. Cool.
提到萬聖節 你決定沒有？ Oh, speaking of which, have you decided?
惡靈戰警 還是地獄怪客？ Skullzor or Crypt Keeper?
巧達 Chowder.
我今年不想一家一家要糖果了 I don't think I'm going trick-or-treating this year.
什麼？ What?
拜託，這樣會中斷六年來的傳統 Come on, you're gonna break a six-year streak.
超幼稚又無聊的六年傳統 Yeah, six years of being jumped and egged.
也許我只是長大了吧 Maybe I'm getting too grown-up.
終場前的三秒鐘 Three seconds on the clock.
我在打籃球 I'm playing basketball.
今年你一定會輸得很難看 It's time for an in-your-face disgrace.
你沒事吧？ 我的鼻子凹進腦袋裡了 Are you okay? My nose is in my brains.
我看看 天哪 Let me see. Oh, my God.
怎麼樣？ 你是驢蛋 What? You're a dork.
我的球呢？ Where's my ball?
慘了 Oh, no.
不要難過 等等DJ Sorry, man. Wait, wait. DJ.
你長大了 ，你去幫我撿 You're a grownup now, you go get it.
巧達 你的球滾進了史老猴家的草坪 Chowder, your ball just landed on Nebbercracker's lawn.
那就等於永遠消失了 It doesn't exist anymore.
那顆球花了我28美元耶 I paid $28 for that ball.
我除了10次草 跟我媽要了26次1美元 I raked 10 yards and asked my mom for a dollar 26 times.
我這輩子沒那麼努力過 I never worked that hard in my life...
史老猴還沒出來發飆 Nebbercracker hasn't come out yet.
所以？ 也許他在睡覺 So? So maybe he's sleeping.
好吧，我去撿 All right, I'll do it.
你真是夠朋友，快去快回 I'll never forget this. Hurry, though.
走 Go.
你 You.
不要 DJ ，快跑 No. DJ, run!
快去撿球 Get the ball and run!
就差那麼一點點了 You're so close.
你做了什麼？ What have you done?
快把球抱過來 真是抱歉 Just nudge it over here. I'm so sorry.
我真的很抱歉 我不是故意的，我 Oh, I'm so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean...
你死定了 You are dead.
DJ ，快跑 快跑 DJ, come on, come on!
巧達 DJ ，快跑 Chowder. Come on, DJ.
巧達，救命 Help. Chowder.
救命啊，救命 Help. Help.
你以為你可以破壞我的草坪？ 不，對不起 You think you can terrorize my lawn? No, I'm sorry.
你活得不耐煩了 不，我想活命 You wanna be a dead person? No. I love life.
這裡不是你們這些臭小鬼的遊樂場 This place is not a playground for children.
我現在知道了 這裡是我的家 Got it from now on. This is my house!
為什麼不尊重我？ Why can't you respect that?
你為什麼要跑來這裡搞破？ Why can't you just stay away from?
推啊 Push.
警鳴沒響不是好現象 No siren. Never a good sign.
我是個兇手 I'm a murderer.
你不是啦 真的？ No, you're not. I'm not?
那是個意外 叫過失殺人 When it's an accident, they call it manslaughter.
我好像快吐了 I think I'm gonna throw up.
煩耶，保母來了 Great. Babysitter's here.
拜了 ，DJ See you, DJ.
完美 Perfect.
停
DJ DJ.
DJ ，我剛看到救護車 我是不是錯過什麼精彩好戲了？ Hey, DJ, I just saw an ambulance. Did I miss anything interesting?
DJ Hello?
楊莉花 Elizabeth...
我可以跟你講一件事情嗎？ ...can I talk to you about something?
可以，當然可以了 小甜心 Oh, yeah, of course you can, cantaloupe.
我們今天要共度美好的時光 We are gonna have the bestest time.
我安排了好多好酷的活動哦 他們出門了 Got tons of neat activities planned. They already left.
真的？走人了？ 對，所以我有話想跟你說 They did? They're gone? Yes, and I need to talk to you.
好，那就老規矩 9點前回家， 11點進房間 So the usual deal: Indoors by 9, in your room by 11.
關燈、睡大覺 楊莉花，等等 Lights out, your call. Elizabeth.
叫我莉莉 “莉莉” ？ And it's Zee. "Zee"?
給我聽好，小甜心 我要掌控電視、音響還有電話 Now, listen up. I control the TV, the stereo and the phone.
我不玩什麼遊戲 也不說床邊故事 I don't do board games, Shrinky Dinks or tuck-ins.
我不是你媽也不是你的朋友 I'm not your mother. I'm not your friend.
不要把我當三歲小孩，好不好？ 我現在已經長大成人了耶 Don't talk to me like I'm a baby, okay? I am practically a grownup.
我根本不需要保母 楊莉花 I don't even need you here, Elizabeth.
天啊，DJ ，你怎麼這樣呢？ 不是我丟的 Gosh, DJ, why'd you break that? But I didn't.
對，不過請問你 他們會相信誰呢？ Yeah, let me ask you something. Who are they gonna believe?
進房去吧 好啦 Go to your room. Fine.
(骷哥+骨頭 英勇大兵)
(11點14分)
喂 Hello?
好，很好笑 看我怎麼整你 Yeah, very funny. See how you like it.
萬聖節快樂，智障兒 Happy Halloween, doofus.
不錯哦，骨頭 Nice one, Bones.
看他的表情，超好笑 Look at his face. That's funny.
你不可以找朋友來我家的 他是誰？ You're not supposed to have friends over. Who's this?
他叫骨頭 怎麼樣？ This is Bones. What's up?
他是玩Band的(搞樂團的) 沒錯 He's in a band. That's right.
你給我聽好，小甜心 我們打開天窗說亮話 And, anyway, cantaloupe, let's not open up the rulebook, okay?
你上床的時間早就已經超過了 Since you're up way past your bedtime.
不有特殊狀況，你聽 No, no, no, this is different. Listen.
打電話給鄰居，你還真棒 You called the neighbors. Good for you.
這是自動回撥的 他先打來的 I used star-69. He called me.
誰先打來？ 史老猴 Who called you? Nebbercracker.
而且，他今天掛了 P.S., he died today.
騙人 沒有 You lie. Do not.
他死了我卻接到他家打來的電話 He died, and now I'm getting phone calls from his house.
來自地獄，死人打來的電話 A phone call from beyond the grave.
不要這樣，是真的 Guys, come on. I'm serious.
是真的耶 知道他說的是真的嗎？ Oh, he's serious. Did you know he was serious?
把它還我 是喔？你介意嗎？ Come on, man, give her back. Oh, "her"? You mind?
拜託，超噁心的 Oh, come on. Gross.
好了啦，骨頭 等等，老弟 Come on, Bones. Wait, hold on, dude. I th...
她好像喘不過氣來 有東西卡住她喉嚨耶 She's having trouble breathing. Might have something in her throat.
放心，我會救她 All right, I'll look into it.
不，楊莉花 好了 ，骨頭，別鬧了 No. Elizabeth. No. Okay, Bones, knock it off.
你現在快點給我下樓去 Downstairs, now.
抱歉，小子 我不能陪你玩了 Sorry, kid, can't play anymore.
你好爆笑哦 You are so funny.
對啊，我天生就是這麼爆笑 沒辦法 I know. It's like I don't even try and it just happens.
不要嚇自己了 God, stop doing this.
來啊，你想怎麼樣？ Oh, yeah? What you gonna do?
命案組 巧達，你爸媽在哪？ Homicide. Chowder, where are your parents?
我爸爸在藥房裡 My dad's at the pharmacy...
我媽和她的健身教練去看電視了 ...and my mom's at the movies with her personal trainer.
好，去危險特區找我 好 Meet me at the Danger Zone now. Fine.
骨頭，我跟你說不要再鬧了 Bones, I said, knock it off. Come on, man.
不，我嚇壞了 No, I'm creeped out.
我今天看到救護車來過 You know, I saw an ambulance here today.
所以呢？ So?
所以 也許史老猴真的掛掉了 So maybe Nebbercracker really did die.
那算我們命大 那個傢伙超邪惡的 We should be so lucky. The guy is evil.
不，他只是個怪老頭而已 No, he's just a crotchety old dude.
是嗎，莉莉？ Oh, really, Zee?
我十歲那一年 我有個風箏，超酷的 When I was 10 years old, I had a kite. Awesome kite.
它可以飛得好高，看都看不到耶 I could fly it so high you couldn't see it.
有一天它掉下來了 One day, it crashed down.
我跟著線找 發現它 I followed the string and it ended right over there...
就掉在那裡 掉在對街他家的草坪上面 ...across the street, right at the edge of his lawn.
他沒收風箏了？ Did he take your kite?
對啊，什麼掉在那裡 他通通沒收 Yeah, he takes whatever lands on his lawn.
那不是重點 But that's not the point.
重點在於 我看到他跟房子說話 The point is, is that I saw him talking to his house...
還親了它 ...and kissing it.
還有 Besides...
大家都知道他老婆死得很慘 ...everybody knows what he did to his wife.
什麼？他對他老婆做了什麼？ Why? What? What did he do to her?
吃掉她 骨頭，走開啦，住手 He ate her. Bones. Get off. Stop it!
骨頭，夠了 過來啦，莉莉 Bones, enough. Come on, Zee.
骨頭，我受不了你了啦 Bones, I'm so sick of you.
我只是 你不懂得尊重女生 I was just... You have no respect for women.
什麼？什麼意思？ What? What does that mean?
出去 Get out.
好 Fine.
假正經 Prude.
你看什麼看啊？ What are you looking at?
死老頭子 Nebbercracker.
你真的掛掉了嗎？ You really are dead, aren't you?
我在踩你的草坪，史老猴 I'm on your lawn, Nebbercracker.
你能拿我怎麼樣啊，史老猴？ What are you gonna do about it, Nebbercracker?
裝神弄鬼的臭老頭子 Nebber-snapper-flipper-dipper...
我的酷風箏 My awesome kite.
(我們抽幹了湖水)
(麥維塔樓建築工地)
巧達 Chowder.
巧達 Chowder.
巧達？ Chowder?
巧達 Chowder.
熱導彈 Heat seeker.
巧達，你幹嘛啦？ Chowder, what are you doing?
閉嘴啦 Shut up.
幹嘛？ What?
史老猴死而復活了 Nebbercracker's back from the dead.
你騙人 真的 No way. Yeah.
他們沒帶走鑰匙 敢不敢玩？ They leave the keys in here. You dare me?
巧達，你沒有在聽我說話 Chowder, you're not listening to me.
史老猴回來找我 害死他的人是我 Nebbercracker's haunting me, all right? His blood is on my hands.
他回來找我報仇了 And now he's coming back for revenge.
你真的頭殼壞了 ，你知不知道？ You're really crazy right now. Have you noticed that?
你會有點抓狂 是因為你今天殺了一個人 I think you're just freaking out because you killed a guy today.
沒什麼啦 Life goes on.
你無所謂啦 For you.
兄弟，放鬆一點 跟著我裝酷 Try and relax. Be cool, like me.
巧達，你搞什麼鬼？ Chowder, what are you doing?
快停下來 Make it stop.
別耍白癡了啦 Quit screwing around.
你要幫我 I need your help.
好 Fine.
要我幫你？ You want my help?
對 讓我送你三個字 Yeah. I got three words for you:
“要糖吃” "Trick or treat."
好啦，隨便啦 我們走 Okay. Whatever. Let's go.
等等 Hold on.
巧達，快點 Chowder, come on.
鬧鬼超無聊 The haunting is subtle...
真的無聊到爆 ...yet really, really boring.
我可以回家沒？ 巧達，他會聽見的 Can I go home now? Chowder, he'll hear you.
DJ DJ...
這就是沒有人要跟我們做朋友的原因 ...this is why nobody will sit next to us at lunch.
我要去按他家的電鈴了 ，等著瞧 沒有鬼 I'll go Ding Dong Ditch the house and you'll see. No ghost.
巧達，不要鬧了啦 Chowder, stop, please.
巧達，我說的是真的 Chowder, I'm serious.
巧達，回來 拜託快回來，巧達 Chowder, come back. Come back here, please, Chowder.
回來 Come on.
巧達 快回來 Chowder. Come back.
你看，酒瓶 巧達，放回去 Oh, no. A bottle. Chowder, put that down.
求你快回來 酒瓶 Come back, please. Bottle.
嘿，DJ ，我是誰？ Hey, DJ, who am I?
給我滾出去 Get off my lawn.
不要鬧了 Don't. Come on.
巧達，快點 快回來，快跑 Run. Chowder, get out of there.
快跑，逃命啊 媽啊 Chowder, come here. Mommy.
快跑，快跑到我這邊來 This way. This way.
救命啊 Help.
巧達，快點 這邊 Come on, Chowder! Chowder, this way!
不要回頭 Don't look back.
我回頭了 I looked back.
骨頭？ Bones?
來了 Coming.
你別想求我讓你回來 Don't even think about crawling back here...
不給糖就搗蛋 Trick or treat.
幹什麼？ What?
早安，小姐 Good morning, ma'am.
這就是你今天晚上會遇見的出糗狀況 You witnessed a simulation of what you'll face this evening.
研究顯示在萬聖節當天的晚上 Studies show that households that run out of candy...
有五成的家庭都沒有事先準備糖果 ...are 55 percent more likely to be TP'd.
為了幫你挽救悲劇 To help avert this tragedy...
我要為學校義賣萬聖節糖果 威斯布學院 ...l'm here selling Halloween candy for my school, Westbrook Prep.
好學校，他們開除了我 Good school. I got kicked out of there.
現在你想要怎麼樣？ Now, what do you want?
我只是想早點做好準備 趁早創造成功的未來 Just trying to get a head start on life and secure a successful future.
你想要成功的未來 You want a successful future?
當滿身刺青的男人來跟你買漢堡的時候 When a guy with tattoos comes up to the drive-through...
賣漢堡給他，千萬別給他電話 ...give him his burger, not your phone number.
感謝你的忠告 我一定會銘記在心的 Thank you for the advice. I'll be sure to make a note of it.
我們來談生意 奶油、臭雞蛋、衛生紙 But back to business. Eggs, shaving cream, toilet paper.
沒有糖果，你家就會受到 臭小鬼的大破壞 Without candy, I'm afraid your house is a bull's-eye with shingles.
很可惜，這不是我家 Nice try. It's not my house.
保母啊？ Babysitter?
好吧，廢話少說 Okay, let's cut the crap.
家長應該有留下40美元 當做緊急狀況救命錢吧？ Maybe the parents you work for left you $40 in emergency money.
他們只留下了30美元 Maybe they left me 30.
那你就給我20美元 我開30美元的收據給你讓你A10美元 Maybe you give me 20, I write a receipt for 30 and you pocket 10.
好啊 Maybe.
不過你要送我兩大袋的花生奶油糖 And I want two extra bags of peanut clusters.
一袋 我可以再送你一袋棒棒糖 One bag and I'll toss in a licorice whip.
了不起 You're good.
八點鐘 沒有任何風吹草動 Eight a.m. No detectable movement.
沒有風吹草動 No detectable movement.
嗨，DJ 我拿巧克力來給你 Hey, DJ, I brought you some chocolate.
有動靜嗎？ Cover blown?
沒有風吹草動 No detectable movement.
你們兩個怪胎到底在幹什麼？ What are you two weirdoes up to?
沒有啊 Oh, nothing.
只是在監視剛才差點 吃掉我們的那棟怪怪屋 Just something in the house across the street just tried to eat us.
對啊，我們兩個熬夜監視它 一整晚都沒有離開房間 Yeah. We've been watching all night. We haven't even left this room once.
連廁所都沒去上過 不要喝它 Not even to go to the bathroom. Don't drink that.
好惡哦 Oh, gross.
不管你們兩個怪胎到底有什麼毛病 Whatever disease you guys have...
我會去找醫生幫你們兩個拿藥的 ...l'm sure it's got letters and that they make pills for it.
莉莉，是真的 對面那個房子真的有問題 Zee, it's true. There's something evil going on across the street.
你好棒哦，我真為你高興 That's excellent. I'm really happy for you.
對了 你們兩個有沒有看到骨頭？ Anyway, have you two astronomers seen Bones?
他昨天晚上說走就走 He left last night unexpectedly...
然後就沒再回來過 ...and he never came back.
沒再回來過？ Never came back?
酒瓶 說的對 Bottle. Of course.
這樣子好了 我沒時間陪你們玩 Oh, okay, you know what? I don't have time for this.
聽著，莉莉 我不知道該怎麼說 Listen, Zee, I don't know how to tell you this...
你男朋友可能被怪怪屋吃掉了 Your boyfriend has most likely been eaten alive.
莎莉小浪女 Sherry Klausen.
我要走了 I gotta go.
吃早餐去 Breakfast.
萬聖節快樂，敗類 Happy Halloween, losers.
哇塞 Hello.
什麼？ What?
怎麼了？ What is it?
沒事 Oh, nothing.
讓我看看 Let me see.
(小心)
慘了 Oh, no. Oh, no.
等等，快點回來 等等，那裡很危險耶 No. No. Hey. Hey, wait. Hey.
DJ ，快接電話 DJ, that's your phone.
不要過去，等一等 小女孩，快點回來 No, stop. Girl. Hey.
那裡好危險不要過去 不要再過去了 ，快回頭 Don't go in there. Hold it.
(請勿靠近)
不要再過去了 Don't go any further.
快點回來 對啊，過來這裡 Come here. Yes, over here.
你們腦袋有問題啊？ Are you guys mentally challenged?
沒關係，我有辦法可以救你們的 If you are, I'm certified to teach you baseball.
怪怪屋有動靜了 Detectable movement.
怎麼辦？我們怎麼辦啊？ 快來 What do we do? What do we do? Come on.
兩位 Guys.
快跑，巧達 我在跑啊 Run, Chowder. I'm running.
救我啊 Help, please.
救到了 ，我抓到她了 是我抓到她，是我啦 Got her. No, I got her.
喂 Hello?
嘿 我的天啊 Hey. Oh, my God.
電話裡面有一個很生氣的老爸 在找一個叫做巧達的 There's an angry dad on the phone looking for the one called Chowder.
喂 Hello?
敗類，我在跟你講話 Losers, I'm talking to you.
他很擔心你哦 He's worried about you.
他活該 He should be.
開始解釋吧 那棟怪怪屋想吃掉我們 Start explaining. All right, the house, it tried to eat us.
好了 ，不要再說了 ，我現在不想聽 等等，你要去哪裡？ Stop explaining, I've had enough. Wait, wait, where are you going?
我要去看看你說的那棟笨房子 到底在搞什麼鬼 To see what's happening with that stupid house of yours.
不不能過去那裡，很危險 DJ ，你現在是怎麼了？ No, no, no. You can't. What is your problem?
青春期 對，我進入了青春抓狂叛逆期 Puberty. Yeah, I'm having lots and lots of puberty.
不要再耍白癡了 好 No more Mountain Dew. Right.
我要去找骨頭 I'm going to find Bones.
好好玩，好嗎？ 不用擔心我們，我們會很乖 All right, you have fun. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine.
幫我跟他打個招呼，好不好？ 小心開車 And you tell him I said hey, okay? Safe driving.
再見 See you.
嗨 Oh, hi.
快說這怎麼回事 You wanna tell me what's going on?
對，青春期的事是我編的啦 Oh, yeah. I made the whole puberty thing up.
嗨，我叫JD，不，DJ Hi, I'm JD. DJ.
爸，我要打給你的 但是我忘了 Yes, Dad, I meant to call you, but I forgot.
好啦，對不起嘛 Okay, I'm sorry.
好啦 Okay.
沒問題 Absolutely.
我知道了 Affirmative.
好，我愛你，拜拜 Okay, love you. Bye. Yeah.
這裡就是 我們的小小監視站 And this is our little observation post...
就是這樣 ...such as it were.
對啊，貼海報很不酷 Yeah, posters are stupid.
我本來要撕下來的 掛上幾幅畫 I was gonna tear them down and put up some art.
夠了 ，爸 我不想再聽你碎碎念了 Well, Dad, why don't you kiss my hairy butt?
DJ ，有啤酒嗎？ Hey, DJ, you got any beer?
嗨，你好啊 Well, hello there.
這位巧達 This is Chowder.
你可以叫我巧哥 Charles, to the ladies.
我叫珍妮 Jenny Bennett.
威斯布學院的學生會連任會長 Two-term class president at Westbrook Prep.
要進那學校不容易 對，我考取了後來不去了 That's a tough school to get into. Yeah, I got in, but decided not to go.
那是間女校耶 It's a girls' school.
所以我才不去 Which is why I didn't.
對了 ，城裡有一家很不錯的卷餅店 You know, there's a... There's a great taco stand near there.
我恨墨西哥食物 I hate Mexican food.
我也是 我也是 Me too. Me too.
蠻酷的，對嗎？ Fascinating, isn't it?
他就等在那裡 Just sits there waiting...
盯著我們、嘲笑著 ...mocking us with its...
我們 ...houseness.
可以借用一下電話嗎？ 好啊，拿去 May I please use your phone? Yeah, sure.
要打給誰？ Here. Who you calling?
我媽 沒禮貌 My mother. Rude.
你跟她說她也不會相信你的啦 She's probably not gonna believe you.
這種事大人搞不懂的 It's too much for the adult mind to comprehend.
這是尿嗎？ 如果是的話，那就太惡了 Is this pee? Because if it is, that's really gross.
DJ？ It's... DJ?
你尿在瓶子裡？ You pee in bottles?
你在哈啦什麼？ 明明是你尿的 What are you talking about? That one's your pee.
你尿的 It's yours. It's his.
麻煩請接愛麗森好嗎？ 真的很不衛生耶 May I speak with Allison? Unsanitary.
她女兒，謝謝 是他尿的 Her daughter. Thank you. It's his pee.
不要吵 Excuse me.
媽，我本來在義賣巧克力的 後來出了點狀況 I was selling chocolates in Mayville, and, well, it's kind of confusing.
你討厭墨西哥食物？ So you hate Mexican food, huh?
是啊，你也是 Yeah. You too, huh?
剛才明明是我先說 討厭墨西哥食物的 Yeah, in fact, you might say I started hating it first.
要不要去屋外解決啊？ Outside in front of the house?
好，來解決一下吧 很好 Fine. Let's get technical. Okay.
是我看望遠鏡先看到她的 I started hating it through the telescope.
你先看到她不代表你可以把她 Can't call dibs on a girl through a telescope.
交女朋友不能用把的 You can't call dibs on a girl.
可以 我也可以啊 Just did. Me too.
我媽她不相信我 She didn't believe me.
那些大人就是這樣 Authority can be so:
好吧 平常我不會跟你們這種人混的 Okay. Normally I don't spend time with guys like you.
不過剛才怪怪屋想吃掉我 給你們一個小時 But a house just tried to eat me, so you've got one hour.
小狗 Oh, a puppy.
它連狗都吃 Didn't see that coming.
夠了 Okay...
我們應該要報警才對 ...I think it's time to call the police.
知道今晚會發生什麼事嗎？ Do you realize what's gonna happen tonight?
幾百個小孩 走進怪怪屋的血盆大口 Hundreds of kids walking right up to that house.
等等，等一下 不要傻了 ，我們反應過度了 Wait, wait, wait. Come on. Guys, I think we're overreacting.
仔細想一想 Think about it.
只有沒腦袋的笨小孩 才會靠近史老猴他家 Only a total moron would walk up to old man Nebbercracker's house.
我的球 巧達 Hey, my ball. Chowder.
別去 No.
會是場大屠殺 It's gonna be a bloodbath.
好消息，員警趕到了 Good news. The cops are here.
好了 ，小朋友，最好真的有事 All right, kids, this better be good.
接到報案的時候 我正在森林中大戰野熊呢 I was in the forest wrestling with a bear claw when we got the call.
我在吃甜甜圈啦 I was eating a doughnut.
你們三個人 都給我站過來 All three of you, step to the car now.
我的耳朵 他們已經站過來了 My ears. They're at the car.
他是菜鳥，上班才一個星期 He's a rookie. First week on the job.
警官，我們有理由相信 Officer, we have reason to believe...
那棟房子裡存在著危險的吃人怪物 ...there's a dangerous creature inside that house.
它吃掉了一個人 還吃狗 It may have killed a man. And a dog.
狗被吃了 ，發生緊急狀況 Doggy down? We've got a situation.
發生緊急狀況 你在搞什麼啊你？ We've got a situation. What are you doing?
請求支援啊 你沒聽見他說的話嗎？ Calling for backup. Didn't you hear the kid?
那棟房子裡有危險的怪物 There's a dangerous creature inside that house.
我們並沒有支援 局裡只剩下茱蒂一個人 We don't have backup. It's just Judy at the station.
沒什麼緊急狀況 And this is no situation.
只是三個小朋友 在玩員警抓小偷的惡作劇 It's just a couple Tater Tots hopped up on too many Pixy Stix.
可是狗被吃掉很嚴重耶 I bet you the dead dog would beg to differ.
你說什麼？ What was that?
沒事 Nothing.
好了 小朋友 All right. Time's up, peewees.
萬聖節到了信不信由你，我們忙翻了 有嗎？ It's Halloween. We got things to do. We do?
等等，別走，是這樣的 它有張大嘴巴 No, wait, you can't. All right, this thing, it has a mouth...
它會伸出舌頭 來把他們捲進去，然後吃掉 ...and it comes out and grabs things and pulls them in and eats them.
對，像這樣 Yeah, like this:
夠了 事情是這樣的 Okay, okay, okay. The thing is...
我們的說法 可能會讓你們沒有辦法相信我們 ...we're trying to make this sound more real than it normally would.
問題是我們本來就不信 Problem is it sounds kind of not real.
沒事我們走了 別走 So we'll see you later. No.
好吧，看好了 要是發生危險狀況 All right. I'll show you. But if things get out of hand...
我們會開槍的 We'll aim for Bigfoot.
那槍已經上膛了 That's loaded.
他在跳舞 He's hopping.
算你聰明 Smart house.
嘿 Hey.
你你們兩個，都過來 You... Both of you. Come here.
站到警車旁邊 Bring it to the car.
好了 Come on.
我就當做沒有看到你丟石頭 因為他跳舞跳得不錯 I'm gonna forget you throwing that rock because that dance was pretty funny.
下次你們再來騷擾這個房子的屋主的話 But next time any of you mess with this guy's house...
你們都要去坐牢，懂嗎？ ...all three of you are going in the hole, you got it?
我給你們十秒鐘走人 Now, I'll give you 10 seconds to march.
你們要幫我們 But we need your help.
那是你們的工作耶 It's your job to help us.
一 走啦 One. Come on.
二 Two.
三 Three.
四 Four.
五 Five.
輕一點啦 That's tender.
我家就在對面那裡 My house is right over there.
這些有關單位真是夠了 So much for relying on the government.
就是啊，我恨有關單位 Yeah, I know. I hate the government.
我們毀了 並沒有 Dude, we're screwed. No, we're not.
我們現在去找專家 We'll go to an expert.
你們現在看到的是全美國 You're looking at the three-time, tri-state...
最厲害的 “你去死” 電玩總冠軍 ...over-14 "Thou Art Dead" champion.
他的大名叫瑞金史卡林基 他們都叫他骷哥 His name is Reginald Skulinski. But they call him Skull.
“他們” 是誰啊？ 我和DJ Who's "they"? Me and DJ.
對 他是史上最聰明的人 Yeah. He's the smartest guy on earth.
那就去問他啊 So let's go talk to him.
珍妮 珍妮，等等，珍妮，等一下 Hey, Jenny, Jenny. Hey, Jenny, Jenny, hold on. Hold up.
骷哥現在正在大戰中 Skull is in the game zone right now.
聰明人絕不會在這個時候去煩他 You don't wanna mess with him when he's in the game zone.
好，那他還要玩多久呢？ Fine, so how long is he gonna be playing?
我宰了你 死 Die. Die.
天知道 他有一次投1/4美元 Who knows? He once played for four days straight...
玩了四天 只喝巧克力牛奶跟包成年尿布 ...on one quarter, a gallon of chocolate milk and an adult diaper.
他是個傳奇 The man's a legend.
要是他不從大戰中走出來的話 我們去找他 Well, if he's not coming out of the game zone, then we are going in.
什麼？ 珍妮，你幹什麼，珍妮？ What? Hey, what are you? What? Jenny, no.
好了 ，你不會這麼做的 我諒你也不敢 It's like you're not gonna... You're not gonna do it. Like...
你死定了 You're gonna die. You're gonna die.
小心 Watch out.
你看到沒有？ 我要把你的頭砍下來 Did you see that? I just chopped off your head again.
你的頭在地上滾，你看不到 因為你的眼睛還在頭上 Your head's rolling. You can't see it, your eyes are on your head.
大哥 幹嘛？ Sir? What?
我在忙著打電動 看都不看就可以打 I'm busy playing a video game without even looking at the screen.
幹嘛？ What?
是這樣的，史老猴的房子鬧鬼了 Old man Nebbercracker's house is possessed.
我要知道怎麼摧毀它 免得它跑出來吃掉更多人 I need to know how to destroy it before it kills people.
冷靜，你害我好想吐 我的巧克力牛奶呢 Calm down. You make me wanna throw up in some tinfoil and eat it.
你喜歡我的大鋼刀嗎？好無情哦 Oh, you like the steel of my blade? It's so cold.
房子鬧鬼是嗎？ Possessed house, you say?
我前幾次去參觀電動漫畫大展的時候 In my travels to the video store and comic-book conventions...
看到很多很詭異的怪事 ...l've seen many strange and wondrous things.
我聽說有些人造的結構體 And I've heard tell of man-made structures...
會被人類的惡靈附身 ...becoming possessed by a human soul...
惡靈已經融入了木材和磚塊裡 ...so that the spirit becomes merged with wood and brick...
創造出很奇特的異獸 ...creating a rare form of monster...
就叫做杜魔斯怪怪屋怪獸 ...known as Domus mactabilis.
那棟房子就是史老猴 The house is Mr. Nebbercracker.
就是我們害死他的耶 We're its murderous enemies.
那就準備去死吧 Have fun getting killed.
跑啊，膽小鬼 Run, coward.
好多血啊 Look at that blood.
要要怎麼殺死它？ So how do we kill it?
你們要重擊生命力來源 心臟 You've gotta strike at the source of life: The heart.
可是房子沒有心臟 But houses don't have hearts.
好耶 Yes!
好耶 Oh, yeah.
對，你說得沒有錯 Yeah. You might be right about that.
抱歉，小子 現在我有很重要的事要去處理了 Sorry, children, but I've got some very important business to take care of.
我們不會再見了 I won't be seeing you later.
你去死 Thou art dead.
(你去死)
(一個玩家 請投硬幣)
我們要攻擊它的心臟 So we need to strike at the heart.
對，可是怪怪屋的心臟 在什麼地方？ Yeah, but where are we gonna find a heart inside a house?
我記得史老猴死了之後 Ever since Nebbercracker died...
怪怪屋的煙囪就不斷冒煙出來 ...there's been smoke coming out of that chimney.
是壁爐 壁爐就是她的心臟 The furnace. The furnace is the heart.
我們必須把火滅了 但是要先進到屋裡 If we wanna put out the fire, we're gonna have to go inside.
還不能被它給吃掉 Without getting chewed to pieces.
(我的房子)
呆瓜 我只是隨便畫畫 Dummy. Hey, I was just doodling.
不，巧達，就是這樣 先弄個呆瓜人偶 No, Chowder, this is it. First, we build a dummy.
然後把一大堆感冒藥塞進人偶裡 We fill the dummy with a few gallons of cold medicine.
你可以向你爸的藥局借藥 什麼？ Borrow it from your dad's pharmacy. Say what?
拿人偶去喂怪怪屋 它吃下一堆藥就會睡著 Feed the dummy to the house, house eats the medicine, goes to sleep.
你看他說的 我們再進去把火滅了 ，就走人 Look at this. We get in, douse the fire and get out.
有疑問嗎？ 沒錯，你瘋了嗎？ Questions? Yes, are you nuts?
我才不會偷我老爸的感冒藥呢 I don't wanna steal drugs from my father...
我不想跑進怪物的體內 因為我不想死 ...I don't wanna go inside a monster and I don't wanna die.
我覺得值得一試 好，我同意，就這麼辦 I say it's worth a shot. Yes, I agree, let's do it.
(感冒藥)
可是我想要那把 Hey, but I wanted that one.
你不要鬧了好不好 太棒了 You've gotta be kidding me. Yes.
巧達，安靜 抱歉 Chowder. Quiet. Sorry.
快 Go.
上來吧 Whoopsie-daisy.
好了 ，吸塵器人偶 我要讓你就定位了哦 All right, little vacuum-cleaner dummy, I'm gonna move you into position.
你不要害怕 You don't be scared.
我們會保護你的 That's not how I trained you.
我愛你，吸塵器人偶 I love you, vacuum-cleaner dummy.
巧達，快啦 Chowder, come on.
好了 Okay.
神准 Yes.
給糖或搗蛋 Trick or treat.
插上去 Plug it in.
就差一點點 So close.
丟垃圾、擅闖民宅 騷擾老人、閒逛 Littering, loitering, vandalism, vagrancy...
闖空門 沒有闖空門 And treason. No, not treason.
真的嗎？因為法律規定 我說了算 You sure? Because in the book... I'm sure.
好吧好了 ，小鬼離開垃圾桶 快點 All right, kids, out of the trash cans. Let's go.
快點，你們聽見了 看到了光，就走出來 Come on. You heard the big guy. You see the light. Walk towards it.
快點，快點給我出來 Come on, keep it moving.
好了 ，放下武器 All right, drop your weapons.
拿來給我，快點 Pass them to me. Come on.
我開槍了 是什麼人在搞鬼啊？ I will shoot you. Well, lookie we got here.
你在這裡看著他們 我過去看看 You stay here, I'm checking this out.
沒有問題 I am on it.
很好笑是不是 你在笑我嗎，小女孩？ Y'all think something's funny? You testing me? Huh, tough girl?
你敢不尊敬員警？ You disrespecting the badge?
你最好不要亂來哦 我跟你說，來考驗我啊 You don't want none of this. I'm telling you. Test me. Please.
想考驗我是不是？ Y'all wanna test me?
我可是個員警耶 I am the police.
我知道你是賊 這一身打扮是騙不了我的 I know you're a thug. Them brown eyes...
看你的眼神就知道 I see it in your eyes.
好了 ，我全都知道了 That's it. That is it.
你有什麼話要說，小胖子？ You got something to say, Porky, huh?
夠了 ，全部抓回去 這樣做就對了 That's it, we're taking them in. That's what I'm talking about.
抓回去哪裡？ 監獄裡，快走 Where we taking them? To jail. Let's go.
聽見沒有？ 你們要去坐牢了 You hear that? You guys are going to jail.
可是，警官，你們要相信我們 But, officer, you've gotta believe us.
好臭小子 你有權閉上嘴巴 Yeah, 2-percent, you got the right to shut up.
可是那房子是個怪物耶 我很好騙是不是？ Okay, the house is a monster. And to think I believed you.
大哥，我挺你們 我表哥是密瓦基員警 Hey, listen, I'm with you guys. My cousin's a cop in Milwaukee.
應該算是吧 他有把槍哦 I mean, kind of a cop. He has a gun.
好啊，警察局會很歡迎你 Yeah. They're gonna love you downtown, Jughead.
我們是超級員警 We are supercops.
對啊，所以我住在破公寓 Yeah. That's why I live in a condo.
超級員警，超級厲害 超猛的員警 Supercop. Super-duper-duper-cop. Super...
聽見沒有？ 有，我肚子叫，我餓壞了 You hear that? That's my stomach. I'm starving.
不不對 聽起來像是個危險的怪物 No, no. That sounds like the dangerous creature.
我要過去看看 老天啊 I'm gonna go check it out. Oh, my gosh.
真是麻煩 好吧，我馬上回來 This is like trying to wrangle a puppy. All right, I'll be back.
危險啊，不要去 不行啊，有危險 You guys, stop. Hey, guys.
很危險，不要過去 不要去 No. Get out of there. No, don't go in there.
幹嘛？ What?
超級員警、超級翻滾 I tell you. Super-roll.
站住，不要去 不，不要去 Stop. Stop. Hey. Hey. Come on.
你不知道它有多可怕 You don't know what's up with that house.
你在哪裡，恐怖怪物？ Where you at, spooky creature?
我要找到你 I'm gonna find you.
不要動 Freeze...
大樹 ...tree.
你幹嘛？ 不要這樣 Hey, what you doing? You can't do that.
不要這樣，我是員警耶 這是犯法的 Not to an officer, brother. That is illegal.
我來了 ，兄弟 放開我 I'm coming, buddy. Put me down!
我來請求支援 你不是說沒有支援嗎？ I'm gonna go get backup. I thought there was no backup.
我叫茱蒂來 I'm getting Judy.
茱蒂 Judy!
救命啊！ Help!
媽啊 Mama!
天啊老天啊 不得了 ，老天啊 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
我好像快中風了 大家保持冷靜，好嗎？ I think I'm having a stroke. Just try to stay calm, okay?
只要保持冷靜就不會有事了 We'll be all right if we just stay calm.
我還小，我不想死啊 I'm too young to die!
珍妮，我會永遠愛你 Jenny. I've always loved you.
巧達 抱歉 Chowder! Sorry.
媽 Mama!
我不敢看 I can't look.
快點，快跑 Guys, come on. Let's go.
死定了 你害死我們，我們死定了 We're dead. You've killed us and now we're dead.
怪怪屋好像不知道我們進來了 I don't think the house knows that we're in here.
它還以為我們在車子裡 I bet it thinks we're still in the car.
你們聽 Listen.
它好像睡著了 It sounds like it's sleeping.
我們要活著離開唯一的方法 The only way that we're gonna get out of here alive...
就是找到心臟 把火給滅了 ...is if we find the heart, we put out the fire.
也許我們該試試別的方法 Maybe we should examine our other options.
對，別的方法 Sure. Other option:
什麼都不要做 在這裡等它醒來吃掉我們 We wait here and do nothing until it wakes up and eats us.
找心臟，把火滅了 瞭解 Find the heart, put out the fire. Got it.
是炸藥耶 超酷的 Explosives. That's so cool.
他一直在監視我 DJ He was watching me. DJ.
你看過他老婆嗎？ Did you ever see a wife?
聽說他有一個老婆 People used to say he had one...
他把她養胖之後 ...but he fattened her up...
吃掉了她 ...and he ate her.
爆破特攻隊 "Demolition squad."
對不起 Sorry.
走吧 Come on.
安靜點 Be quiet.
安啦 我的腳步聲很輕的 Don't worry, I have a very light step.
那邊 在那邊，射它 There. Right there. Shoot it.
幹嘛看我？我以為那是它的心臟 What? I thought if I shot the heart, that...
那不是心臟 不然是什麼？ That's not the heart. Then what is it?
我看，如果那是牙齒 那個就是舌頭 Well, if those are the teeth and that's the tongue...
那一定就是小舌 ...then that must be the uvula.
這房子舌頭真多啊 So it's a girl house.
你說什麼？ 你不懂 What? No.
它會引起作嘔的反應 每個人都有小舌 It stimulates the gag reflex. Everyone has a uvula.
我現在就沒有 Not me.
小心 No.
好了 ，走 Okay. Let's move.
我們要安靜迅速的行動 We need to move quickly and quietly.
什麼都不要碰 Don't touch anything.
不要走散了 And stay together...
DJ 等等 DJ! Wait.
DJ DJ.
我來救你了 I'll save you.
巧達，不要鬧了 Chowder, knock it off.
抱歉，我以為你是 DJ ！ Sorry. I thought you were... DJ!
巧達，那是玩具 是哦 Chowder, it's a toy. Oh, yeah.
DJ人呢？ Where's DJ?
DJ 我在這裡 DJ. Over here.
好多玩具哦 Look at all these toys.
史老猴一定把戰利品 都藏在這裡 This must be where Nebbercracker kept his stash.
“戰利品” "Stash."
你們兩個最好過來看看 I think you guys should have a look at this.
(女巨人，康絲坦)
鑰匙 快點，DJ ，我們沒時間鬼混了 The key. Come on, we don't have time for this.
對啊，一定要想辦法逃出去 Yeah, we've gotta find a way out of here.
你在幹什麼？ What are you doing?
我們家地下室放的是乒乓球桌 We have a Ping-Pong table in our basement.
康絲坦 Constance.
我的老天爺啊 他真的把她給吃了 Holy moly. He really did eat her.
不可能 Couldn't have.
她全身都已經被水泥給封死了 Her whole body is buried in cement.
你們看這些東西 Look at all this stuff.
如果他吃了她 為什麼還要祭拜她？ Why would he build her a shrine if he murdered her?
我想，也許他有罪惡感什麼的 DJ ，我們離開好不好？ Maybe he just felt guilty or something. DJ, can we please get out of here?
我就知道你隱藏了什麼秘密，史老猴 I always knew you were hiding something, Mr. Nebbercracker.
DJ DJ.
你好棒，大鼻子 Way to go, big nose.
它醒來了 快跑 It's awake. Run!
躲起來 Hide.
好耳熟哦 Hey, I know that sound.
我的球 My ball.
你要去哪裡？快過來 Where are you going? Come here.
巧達，回來 給我回來 Chowder, come back. You get back here.
抓到你了 Gotcha.
殺手怪彈簧 Killer Slinkys!
巧達 快放開我 Chowder. Leave me alone!
DJ 救命 DJ! Help!
慘了 Oh, no.
放開我 Get off.
珍妮 Jenny.
巧達 Chowder.
快點抓緊我，抓住我 Come on, Chowder, grab on.
抓緊 Gotcha.
DJ ，小心 DJ, look out!
不要 No!
小舌 The uvula.
DJ 巧達 DJ... Chowder.
媽咪 Mommy!
好噁心哦 Gross.
我們剛剛被吐出來的嗎？ Did we just get upchucked?
那是小舌，天然的緊急逃生口 The uvula, nature's emergency exit.
夠了 你真是太聰明了 ，DJ That's it. Another great idea, DJ. Brilliant.
不然你想怎麼樣，巧達？ What do you want from me, Chowder?
你現在也沒有想出什麼好點子來啊 I don't see you coming up with any big ideas.
是嗎？好啊 你想聽我的好點子嗎？ Oh, yeah? Yeah? Do you wanna hear my big idea?
告訴你 我現在要回家去做三明治狂吃一頓 I'm going home to make a pretzel sandwich. See you.
巧達，那怪怪屋還沒有掛掉 你就想退縮了 Chowder, the house is still alive and you're gonna wuss out?
我為你出生入死 我還為你去偷藥 I risked my life for you. I stole drugs for you...
我也有可能死在裡面耶 我也是 ...and I could've died in there. Yeah, me too.
可是一開始害死史老猴的人 明明是你 You're the one that killed Nebbercracker in the first place.
我是為了幫你撿球 你們兩個 Getting your ball back. You guys.
不要吵了 像兩個小孩子一樣 Stop fighting. You're acting like babies.
我們就是小孩子 We are babies.
我們在想什麼？ What were we thinking?
我們居然想用感冒藥讓怪怪屋睡著 We tried to put a house to sleep with cold medicine.
真是笨到爆 你要去哪裡？ How lame can you get? Where are you going?
我要回家 我太遜了 I'm going home. I suck.
DJ DJ.
幸好救護車來了 At least it's an ambulance.
DJ DJ?
有鬼啊 It's a ghost.
走開 Begone. Fie.
你給我滾，快滾 Begone yourself. Get away.
他不是鬼 He's not a ghost.
他沒死，我沒害死人 He's not dead. I'm not a murderer.
我當然沒死了 誰說我死了？ Of course I'm not dead. Who said I was dead?
你們要再不滾，那你就死定了 You'll be dead if you don't scram.
快走，DJ 走 Come on, DJ. Let's hurry.
知道今天是什麼日子嗎？ Don't you know what day this is?
快要來不及了 快要來不及了 I'm running out of time. I'm running out of time.
老婆 Honey...
我回來了 ...l'm home.
看看你，親愛的 Oh, look at you, dear.
你的瓦片都散落了 Your shingles are all ruffled...
你的窗戶也裂掉了 ...and your windows are cracked.
沒問題，甜心 你不會有事的 Oh, but it's no problem, sweetheart. It's no problem at all.
是她，怪怪屋就是她 It's her. The house is her.
DJ ，你要幹什麼？ 等等 DJ, what are you doing? Wait. Come on.
回來、回來 你要去哪裡？ Come back. Where you going?
我只要粉刷一下就沒有問題了 Nothing paint and varnish can't handle.
史老猴伯伯 Mr. Nebbercracker.
我知道康絲坦的事 I know about Constance.
什麼？ You what?
你懂什麼？你什麼都不懂 What do you know? You don't know anything.
你們進去過了？ You were in my house? You...
你沒有殺死她，對嗎？ You didn't kill her, did you?
我真的好愛她 I love her so much.
(和房子一樣龐大的女巨人)
你好 Hello?
不要怕 It's okay.
我可以帶你離開這裡 I can take you away from here.
你想走嗎？ Would you like that?
想 Yes.
沒問題 There we go.
一下就好 Won't be long now.
(待售 已賣出)
好了 All right.
張開眼睛吧 Okay, open your eyes.
不是什麼豪宅，可是 親愛的 Now, it's not much, I know, but just... Darling.
離我的房子遠一點 Get away from my house!
我要把他們給宰了 I'm gonna rip them to bits.
救命啊 Help.
康絲坦 救命啊 Constance. Help. Help.
怎麼了？受傷沒？ 受傷？ What's wrong? Are you hurt? Hurt?
對啊，我好受傷 那些壞人在攻擊我們的房子 Yes, I'm hurt. Those criminals are attacking our house.
給糖或搗蛋 好了 Trick or treat. Now, now...
他們只是小孩子，親愛的 ...they're just kids, dear.
萬聖節嘛 不是 It's Halloween. No, no, no.
我的房子 他們在傷害我 It's my house, and they're hurting me.
康絲坦，你看著我 Constance, look at me. Look at me.
只要有我在，我不會讓任何人傷害你的 As long as I'm here, I will never let anyone hurt you.
康絲坦 白癡 Constance. Sucker.
壞小孩 You vandals.
看我的 你死定了 Eat this. You hooligans.
納命來 康絲坦，不要啊 I'll get you. Constance, no!
後來我蓋好了房子 So I finished the house.
她會很高興的 She would've wanted that.
她死了 ，可是她沒有走 She died, but she didn't leave.
(小心)
那一晚 And that night...
每每一年的那一個晚上 ...that one night of every year...
我要特別小心 ...I had to take precautions.
不給糖就搗蛋 一定要 Trick or treat. I had to.
敗類 一定要 Sucker. I had to.
給我 Hey! Get a...
給我滾出去 Stay away from my house!
她會攻擊靠過來的人 She attacks anyone who comes near.
快走 Go.
我來了 ，親愛的 I'm coming, dear.
快走 Go.
不等等 我不能丟下你不管，史伯伯 No, no, no, wait. I can't let you do this, Mr. Nebbercracker.
我知道這些年都是你在保護我們 I know that you've been protecting us all these years.
現在輪到我們來保護你了 But now it's our turn to protect you.
放她走吧 Let her go.
要是我放她走 But if I let her go...
我就沒親人了 ...then I'll have no one.
不會的 That's not true.
康絲坦，不要 Constance, no!
(小心 爆炸物)
快跑 Come on.
怪怪屋復活了 The house is alive!
快點，這邊 This way. This way. Come on.
快走 You guys, come on.
你在做什麼？ 擋住怪怪屋的去路 What are you doing? Trying to slow the house down.
快走吧，小胖子 Move it, pork chop.
快點 Come on, come on.
快點，史老猴伯伯 快點走啊 Come on, Mr. Nebbercracker. Come on.
我不行了 I can't.
史老猴伯伯，快點走 Mr. Nebbercracker. Hurry.
你走，我不會有事的 Go on. I'll be all right.
我的天啊 Oh, man.
(麥維塔樓建築工地)
快走啊，你們還在等什麼？ What are you waiting for? Come on.
你不可以傷害小朋友，康絲坦 You stay away from those children, Constance!
康絲坦 Constance.
史老猴伯伯 Mr. Nebbercracker.
好啦 Oh, now...
好啦，乖女孩 There, there, girl.
小寶貝 My sweet.
你今天很不乖，是不是？ You've been a bad girl, haven't you?
你傷害別人 You've hurt people.
康絲坦 Oh, Constance.
我們都知道會有那麼一天，對不對？ Oh, we've always known this day would come. Haven't we?
我必須要做彌補 I have to make things right.
好了 ，康絲坦 Constance.
我做什麼都是為了你好，對不對？ I've always done what's best for you, haven't I?
對嗎，老婆？ Haven't I, girl?
快，我們走 Come on, let's move.
康絲坦 Oh, Constance.
你不能再傷害別人了 Let this be the right thing to do.
快放開他 Leave him alone!
對，放開你的髒手，放了老頭 Yeah, get your grubby branches off the old man!
看招 Take that!
看我的 And that!
史老猴伯伯 Mr. Nebbercracker.
孩子，過來 Oh, kid, come here.
這給你 什麼？我 Take this. What?
你一定要幫我，求求你 You have to help me. Please.
我知道你做得到 I know you can do it.
快啊，快去啊 Go on. Go. Hurry.
知道怎麼操作推土機嗎？ How do you know how to drive this thing?
不知道 I don't.
煙囪 煙囪下去是心臟 The chimney. The chimney leads to the heart.
珍妮！ Jenny!
珍妮，你沒事吧？ Jenny. Are you all right?
不確定 I'm not sure.
DJ ，快點把它丟掉 DJ, get rid of that thing.
我在快了 I'm working on it.
巧達 我要你把怪怪屋引到吊車下方 Chowder, I need you to get the house down under that crane.
你辦得到嗎？ Think you could do that?
小意思 Piece of cake.
快啊 Come on.
誰叫你這樣欺負我的朋友 You think you can just mess with my friends?
DJ ，你看 DJ, look.
媽咪 Mommy.
巧達 Chowder.
回答，巧達 Come in, Chowder.
巧達兄弟，回答 Chowder, buddy?
嘿嘿，DJ Hey, guys.
看誰打贏了？ 是我，大胖呆 Look who just won. It's me, the screwup.
巧達，你好棒哦 你好酷 Way to go, Chowder, you did it!
DJ ，看我 看我 Look at me. Look at Chowder. Oh, yeah.
對不起 快啊，你們 Sorry. Guys, come on.
太棒了 ，你看我 Yes. Look at me.
不能這樣啦 You can't do that.
不公平 That's not fair.
救命 No. Get on the top. Help!
很好，巧達 引她過來 That's it, Chowder. Keep her coming.
你算什麼，破房子 破爛房子 You ain't nothing. You're a shack. You're an outhouse.
不！ No!
我不行了 你可以的 I can't. Yes, you can.
快去 Go.
我親了女生 I kissed a girl.
我親了女生的嘴了 I kissed a girl on the lips.
DJ快一點啦 Guys. Any time now.
對不起 Sorry.
DJ ，快點 DJ, hurry.
我在飛了 I'm flying!
我數到三，你把炸藥點燃 好的，沒問題 On three, light the dynamite. Okay, I got it.
一 快啊 One. Come on, come on, come on.
二 點著了 Two. Yes.
三 Thr...
DJ ！ DJ!
三 Three!
有聽到什麼聲音嗎？ Do you guys hear something?
那邊傳來的，快點 It's over there. Come on.
親愛的 Oh, my dear.
永別了 Goodbye.
我很難過，史老猴伯伯 你失去了你的房子 I'm sorry, Mr. Nebbercracker, about your house...
還有愛妻 ...and your wife.
你的怪怪屋愛妻 Your house-wife.
45年了 Forty-five years.
我們受困了45年了 We have been trapped for 45 years.
現在 And now...
我們自由了 ...we're free.
自由了 We're free.
謝謝你，朋友 Thank you, friend.
謝謝你們 Thank you all.
自由了 We're free.
謝謝 謝謝 Thank you. Thanks.
萬聖節快樂 Happy Halloween.
不給糖就搗蛋 不給糖就搗蛋 Trick or treat. Trick or treat.
糖果來了 Here you go.
謝謝 Thanks. Thanks.
萬聖節快樂 Happy Halloween.
下一個 Next.
史伯伯的房子出了什麼事？ What happened to Nebbercracker's house?
它變成了一個大怪物 我把它炸碎了 It turned into a monster, so I blew it up.
不給糖就搗蛋 Trick or treat.
我們需要一輛三輪車 We're gonna need a tricycle.
一輛三輪車來了 One tricycle, coming up.
三輪車 Tricycle.
三輪車 三輪車 Tricycle. Hello, tricycle.
我好想你哦 I missed you so much.
謝謝，先生 好，我們回家了 Thank you, mister. Goodbye, now.
萬聖節快樂 Happy Halloween. Come on.
珍妮 我媽來了 Mom. There's my mom. Jenny!
等一下 好 One second. Okay.
我們 So...
再約時間出來玩 We should hang out again.
很快 Soon.
好 好 Yeah. Yeah.
再見 See you.
祝青春期好運哦 Good luck with the puberty.
她摸我的屁屁 She grabbed my butt.
你好棒，巧達 That's nice, Chowder.
史老猴伯伯 我們該走了 Hey, Mr. Nebbercracker. It's time to go.
你們先走 我還有事要做 Oh, you go on. I've got some work to do.
謝了 All right. Thanks.
回頭見了 拜拜 I'll see you around. All right. Bye.
嘿 Hey.
給我滾出去 Stay off my lawn.
開玩笑的 I'm just kidding.
他不會有事吧？ 對，他很好 You think he'll be okay? Yeah. He'll be fine.
他要去渡假，曬曬太陽 也許會認識新朋友 He'll go on vacation, get some color, maybe he'll meet someone new.
這次也許會是棟海灘小屋 This time, maybe a nice beach house.
DJ ，看誰回來了 Hey, DJ, look who's here.
是啊，我看到了 ，謝了 不客氣 Yes, I can see that, thank you. No biggie.
嗨，孩子們 嘿，爸 Hey, boys. Hey, Dad.
這什麼裝？ 不不要說，讓我來猜 What the heck kind? No, don't tell me. Let me guess.
是 It's...
骯髒海盜？ 沒錯，骯髒海盜 Dirty pirates? That's it. Dirty pirates.
好玩 你們好可愛哦 Fun, fun. Oh, you look adorable.
今晚好好玩哦 Have fun tonight.
DJ ，你說得對 You know, you were right.
我們太老了 ，不該再去要糖吃了 We're definitely too old for trick-or-treating.
是啊 你說得都對 Oh, yeah. No question about it.
不過，話又說回來 On the other hand...
我們辛苦了一天 ...we've been working all night.
要糖吃？ Candy time?
要糖吃 Candy time.
太棒了 ，超酷的 We're back. Yes.
糖果 Candy.
我們是不是被？ Did we just get? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
萬聖節，對嗎？ It's Halloween, right?
我們一起 你跟我 What do you say you and I go out...
一起去巡視要糖的狀況 ...and "inspect" some candy, huh?
我們一起去要糖果吧 We should go eat some candy too.
好主意 That's a good idea.
好，好了 ，我們去吃糖吧 Okay. All right. Let's go eat some candy.
好多好吃的糖果 Lots of yummy candy.
像紅蘿蔔 Like carrots.
對 警車怎麼不見去了 All right, where's the car?
我就是這樣宰掉那頭魔龍的 And that is how I slayed that mystical dragon.
真的？太棒了 Oh, yeah? That's great.
走吧，寶貝 Come on, baby. We're out of here.
(骷哥+骨頭)
你在作夢，骨頭 Not so fast, Bones.
情況不同了 Times have changed.
骷哥才不像你 Skull's not like you.
他會給我應得的尊重 He gives me the respect I deserve...
花時間陪我 ...and makes time for me.
隨你便了 Whatever.
(怪胎)
骨頭！ Bones!
你好，籬笆 Hello, fence.
你好，樹葉 Hello, leaves.
你好，天空 Hello, sky.
DJ ，看誰回來了 Hey, DJ, look who's here.
是啊，我看到了 ，謝了 不客氣 Yes, I can see that, thank you. No biggie.
嗨，孩子們 嘿，爸 Hey, boys. Hey, Dad. Hey, boys. Hey, Dad.
這什麼裝？ 不不要說，讓我來猜 What the heck kind? No, don't tell me. Let me guess.
是 It's...
骯髒海盜？ 沒錯，骯髒海盜 Dirty pirates? That's it. Dirty pirates.
好玩 你們好可愛哦 Fun, fun. Oh, you look adorable.
今晚好好玩哦 Have fun tonight.
DJ ，你說得對 You know, you were right.
我們太老了 ，不該再去要糖吃了 We're definitely too old for trick-or-treating.
是啊 你說得都對 Oh, yeah. No question about it.
不過，話又說回來 On the other hand...
我們辛苦了一天 ...we've been working all night.
要糖吃？ Candy time?
要糖吃 Candy time.
太棒了 ，超酷的 We're back. Yes.
糖果 Candy.
我們是不是被？ Did we just get? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
萬聖節，對嗎？ It's Halloween, right?
我們一起 你跟我 What do you say you and I go out...
一起去巡視要糖的狀況 ...and "inspect" some candy, huh?
我們一起去要糖果吧 We should go eat some candy too.
好主意 That's a good idea.
好，好了 ，我們去吃糖吧 Okay. All right. Let's go eat some candy.
好多好吃的糖果 Lots of yummy candy.
像紅蘿蔔 Like carrots.
對 警車怎麼不見去了 All right, where's the car?
我就是這樣宰掉那頭魔龍的 And that is how I slayed that mystical dragon.
真的？太棒了 Oh, yeah? That's great.
走吧，寶貝 Come on, baby. We're out of here.
(骷哥+骨頭)
你在作夢，骨頭 Not so fast, Bones.
情況不同了 Times have changed.
骷哥才不像你 Skull's not like you.
他會給我應得的尊重 He gives me the respect I deserve...
花時間陪我 ...and makes time for me.
隨你便了 Whatever.
(怪胎)
骨頭！ Bones!
你好，籬笆 Hello, fence.
你好，樹葉 Hello, leaves.
你好，天空 Hello, sky.