♪ there's a hundred and four days of summer vacation
♪ and school comes along just to end it
♪ so the annual problem for our generation
♪ is finding a good way to spend it
♪ like maybe
♪ building a rocket, or fighting a mummy
♪ or climbing up the eiffel tower
♪ discovering something that doesn't exist
Hey!
♪ or giving a monkey a shower
♪ surfing tidal waves
♪ creating nano-bots or locating frankenstein's brain
It's over here!
♪ finding a dodo bird painting a continent
♪ or driving our sister insane
Phineas!
♪ as you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do
♪ before school starts this fall
Come on, perry!
♪ so stick with us, 'cause phineas and ferb are gonna do it all!
♪ so stick with us, 'cause phineas and ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
Mom, phineas and ferb are making a title sequence!
Isabella: Thanks for showing me the old scrap books, nana.
I love hearing about the old days.
Tell me again about string art,
And what it was like to get up and change the channel on the tv.
Oh, that's so cute, honey.
Look at how old-fashioned I still am.
I'm writing letter. By hand!
Why don't you just text or call them?
Oh! (laughing)
You kids know nothing of the lost art of letter writing.
Back when we were young,
We expressed our truest feelings in letters.
Yes! You could tell someone how much they meant to you
Without worrying about getting interrupted,
Or losing your nerve...
Or hiccupping. That was my problem.
When I was young, I had a crush on a certain boy
And I wrote a letter telling him how I truly felt.
That boy ended up being your grandfather.
Wow, I've been wanting to tell someone how I feel for a long time now.
Really? I've got an extra pen and paper.
Now take your time,
Deeply search your feelings,
And express your...
I've been scripting this thing out in my head for years.
Perfect timing! The postman's here.
Add this to your bag, my good sir.
So, nana, when grandpa got your letter,
Did he come running to you and sweep you into his arms?
What? Oh, no, I never mailed it!
I'm not brave like you.
I mean, what if he had laughed at me
Or shown the letter to his friends?
Can you imagine the embarrassment?
Oh, boy.
Hon, why do you have all these boxes of take-out food thingies?
It's such a waste to get rid of them.
See? Look, chopsticks and ponzu sauce.
That's japanese, but...
But, look, there's also a chinese fortune cookie.
That's what's known as "fusion."
Okay, I'm hungry.
Oh, let's go get some food.
Would you kids like to come along?
No thanks, dad. We had fusion for breakfast.
All right, then.
I'll clear all these drawers and boxes out later, darling.
See you, boys! (door closing)
Hey, ferb, let's do dad a favor
And clear these drawers and boxes out for him.
Oh, look at this.
It's like a spoon and a fork together.
What would you even call that?
In the u.K., they call that a "foon." they do not.
It's a perfect fusion of aesthetics and utility.
It's like a little work of art.
Ferb, I... Candace: What?
What are you doing? Helping dad by clearing out this stuff.
You're doing a chore?
No way are you getting all the parent points.
I've got chores to do, too. Carry on.
You know, the drawer in our kitchen is full of honey and ketchup.
Yeah, and ours has red pepper flakes
And little tubs of grated cheese.
Well, go home and grab it, guys.
We're gonna make some art.
Hey, where's perry?
(chattering)
Agent p, it seems that doofenshmirtz is into astrology now,
And that makes him very dangerous to us.
I know what you're thinking.
I was like you. I always thought horoscopes were a bunch of hooey.
But then I read my own horoscope.
I'm a sagittarius.
It said, "it's a bad day to get a haircut."
How spooky is that? I had my hair cut yesterday!
Today would be a bad day to get a haircut.
How do they know that stuff?
If doof figured out the astrological signs of our agents,
He could predict our every move!
Excuse me, sir, I believe horoscopes
Are meant for entertainment
Rather than to be taken as fact.
Of course you'd think that, carl.
You're a capricorn!
You know what to do, agent p!
Oh, come on, isabella.
What's so bad about writing a letter
And expressing my feelings?
Feelings are natural. Phineas is natural.
We are both natural beings in the world.
With feelings...
Oh!
Did I really refer to him as "my little crumb cake"?
Who does that?
(beeps) come in, fireside girls!
Go ahead, chief.
I just mailed a letter stating my true feelings to phineas,
And we need to stop it before he reads it.
This mission is top priority.
I call it "operation crumb cake."
Crumb cake? Is that what you called him?
(all giggling)
Oh, boy, it's worse than I thought.
Wow! Artsy!
Yeah, we're really getting into it.
Who knew that making an art piece
Out of old take-out stuff would be so fun?
It is almost like tadashi kawamata's
Massive chair sculpture in abu dhabi.
Or the sub lyric pile killabuster
With onion on marble in salzburg, austria.
Really?
Actually, I think he just made that one up.
Chorus: (singing) doofenshmirtz evil incorporated!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hello, perry the platypus.
Could you be a sport and shut the door?
It gets really drafty in here. Give it a good slam,
Sometimes it sticks.
Ha-ha!
Bet you never dreamt you'd get caught in a dream catcher.
Actually, norm made that this morning.
Who knew he was so crafty?
Anyway, my astrologer believes
That when mercury is in retrograde
Anything can go wrong and usually does.
And, you know, she's always right.
She has dark hair and bangs, and you know.
As it turns out, mercury has been in retrograde all summer!
No wonder my evil schemes keep failing.
And that is why I invented
The un-retrograde-inator!
You know, to reverse my bad luck.
You know, I know that un-retrograde
Is sort of a double negative.
It sounds like I'm making mercury go forwards,
But I'm actually sending it backwards
From going backwards,
Which happens to look forward, but it isn't.
You know what? Basically it's a reverse-inator,
But un-retrograde-inator,
It sounded more astrology-y.
Look, you know, I'll just show you how it works.
Oh, norm, could you come over here for a moment?
I'm almost finished cleaning up your mid-morning pinata, sir.
Yeah, yeah, que bueno, norm.
Now just stand right there.
Okey-dokey.
Oh, my!
I have the sudden urge to dump your pinata pieces back on the floor.
It works!
Now I am going to push the giblets back into the chicken.
Isabella: ♪ postmaster general, please help me out
♪ I wrote a boy a letter now I'm filled with doubt
♪ it was a sentimental notion
♪ to spell out my emotion that way
♪ before I have a heart attack I need my letter back
♪ I need a retraction
♪ a full-scale rejection
♪ at least if I could edit it and soften the tone
♪ please, just believe it I have to retrieve it
♪ don't say my opportunity has already flown
Backup singers: ♪ already flown
♪ oh, why did I ever sign my name?
♪ I don't want to be forever stamped in shame
♪ I'd have to move to belgium and wear a really bad toupee
♪ so before I have a heart attack
♪ she needs her letter back
♪ it could be in this very stash
♪ she needs her letter back
♪ it's hard to overstate this fact
♪ I need my letter back ♪
We'll never catch them this way.
But we will get that letter back!
No matter how nicely or politely we have to ask.
We'll cut them off at phineas's house. Let's go!
Now I'm going to put food waste back on the dishes.
Yes, yes, thank you, norm.
Does this make sense to you? Listen.
"someone is secretly speaking on your behalf."
Norm: Time to unmake the coffee.
It sounds positive for me,
And I like that, but who is speaking nicely of me?
Wait, was it you, perry the platypus?
Next, I'll un-make my dream catcher.
No, no, don't do that!
You never let me finish my sentences.
We're in luck.
Looks like we're here before the mail's come.
Okay, girls, let's seal up this area.
Holly, you go take up a scanning position one half-click to the north.
Ginger, you got the south.
The rest of you, fan out.
We've got to intercept that letter.
I'm going in back to keep phineas distracted.
Any questions?
Yeah!
How long has this mailbox been here?
Oy!
Now to un-brush my teeth.
What am I doing?
Sir, the effect of your ray has worn off.
I'm so happy for you.
Listen, could you get this platypus off me?
Wow, is he hard to catch!
You're just noticing this, huh? Go get him!
Heya! So what you doin'? (laughs nervously)
What do you think?
The world's largest art piece,
Made entirely of takeout food packets and utensils!
Oh, wow. Artsy.
Right? Can I show you around?
Sure!
Here, baljeet has thoughtfully recreated
Gainsborough's the blue boy
Completely in red pepper flakes.
I wish I would have thoughtfully created an eye-wash station.
Sheesh!
Watch your step up the chopstick ladder.
From here you can see the whole neighborhood!
Phineas! Uh...
Let's switch places.
The light catches the foons so beautifully from this angle.
(ferb whistling)
Awesome. The mail's here.
Wonder if that comic book I ordered arrived?
No, no! Wait!
Hey! This doesn't look like a chore to me!
It looks like a bust!
The stamp is on the envelope.
Excuse me,
But do you have a letter in your bag
Addressed to danville resident phineas flynn?
Hmm, looks like I do.
We demand that you hand it over to us immediately. Please.
I'm sorry, it is unlawful for a postal carrier
To deliver any envelope or parcel
Into hands of anyone except the intended recipient,
As indicated in the address column of said envelope or parcel.
What about afterwards?
Can we jump him and wrestle it out of his hands?
Honey, what you do with your afternoon
Is none of my business.
Phineas: Hey, mrs. Ferguson!
Did my comic book arrive today?
No, just this letter.
(gasping)
Oh, look! It's from you, isabella!
Well, isabella, here it is.
He's finally going to know how you really feel.
There's no turning back now.
Come back here.
Now I've got...
Rhythm?
At least you told the truth and you spoke from your heart.
I can accept this.
Phineas: "dear phineas..."
Aw, and there's a little heart!
Oh, no, I just realized
I may have put the giblets in the hamster.
Ha! Gotcha!
See, I began to think,
"if only I had a nickel for every time
"you pushed my inator's self-destruct button."
Then it hit me, you wouldn't have a nickel either,
Because you don't have any pockets!
Wait, what are you... Oh, I forgot about your hat.
Curse you, perry the pla...
See? You never let me finish my sentences.
Aw!
Of course.
Why did I do that?
There was, like, a whole bunch of stuff the boys were clearing out.
Speaking of stuff, what's up with your room?
Yep. I'm on it.
Well, I guess, we'll never know what was in that letter.
No, I guess not.
And neither will your little crumb cake.
Millie! (whistling)
Phineas: An almost perfect day to build another one of our inventions.
(beeping)
Buford: Hey, dinner bell. Where do you want this crate of hoojimagawas?
Phineas: Right there is good, buford.
Baljeet: How about these helicopter blades?
Phineas: Just lean them up against the tree for now.
Baljeet: 10-4, good buddy.
Buford: Why do you sound like you're in a 1970s road comedy?
There was a cable marathon on last night.
Buford: Oh, I missed it.
Isabella: Heads up! More random construction equipment
For an as-yet- unidentified project
Coming in.
(chattering)
(footsteps approaching)
At this rate, I'll be late for my creative writing class.
Agent p! No need to walk all the way down here!
I'll just give you your mission on the staircase!
(footsteps stop)
Doofenshmirtz has been experimenting with image technology.
It's very suspicious.
We need you to go check it out.
Good luck, agent p.
(footsteps retreating)
Idea for tv spinoff, "platypus in a staircase."
Stace, the thing with boys is, I just don't get them.
You think they're saying one thing,
But then you don't know if they really mean something else.
They're like those egyptian drawings that no one understands.
You mean, like, hieroglyphics?
Those were deciphered in the early 1800s
After they found the rosetta stone.
Fine! They're like something else no one understands.
Like, how do you know that? (mumbles)
Okay, take the conversation I just had with jeremy.
I suggested we go to the movies later, and he said, "cool."
What does that mean?
I mean, did he mean, like, "cool, I totally wanna hang out with you"?
Or, "cool, I really wanna see that movie"?
Or, "cool, like I think you're being cold and distant"?
Not that one.
Chorus: (singing) doofenshmirtz evil incorporated!
Doofenshmirtz: Over here, perry the platypus!
So, you fell for the old "hat rack disguised as you nemesis" ploy, huh?
Well, anyway, that was a very efficient use of my time.
I demonstrated my latest inator
And trapped you all in one!
"trap perry the platypus." check.
"demonstrate inator." check!
Uh, now that just leaves backstory, light lunch,
Take over the tri-state area, and schedule painters.
Only 75% of my list left,
I am on fire today!
All right, so let's get down to business.
Ever since I switched pizza places...
You remember that whole pizza day debacle, right?
Uh, okay, well, anyway...
My orders now are all showing up cold.
Nothing I could do to change that
Because, you know, I'm a lousy tipper.
So I invented this,
The impersonator-inator!
An inator so nice, I had to name it twice!
Rather than move or shell out extra cash,
I can use this device to create a holographic field around myself,
Impersonate the pizza delivery boy,
And pick up my own pizza. It will still be warm.
But then I said, "heinz, heinz, you're thinking too small.
"why not be the pizza boy's boss?"
But then I said, "heinz, heinz..."
And then I said, "what? I'm right here, stop saying my name!"
And then I said, "why be the pizza boy's boss
"when you can be the pizza franchise owner!"
Uh-oh. Computer: Database image transferring.
Oops. One pizza delivery boy, comin' up!
I don't know who that was for.
It was just such a good line, it would've been a shame to hold it back. It's, uh...
Oh, hush.
Seriously, stacy!
Boys are a mystery.
I mean, what do they talk about when we're not around?
Do you think they talk about us?
(scoffs) I got no clue.
(sighing) I guess I'll never know the real deal
As long as I'm not a boy.
Stacy, there's a pizza delivery boy in my room!
Is that code for something?
Get back! (grunting)
Huh? There's no one there.
But he's in the mirror!
But... But...
(gasping) oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This cannot be happening!
Aha! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Stacy! Phineas and ferb have turned me
Into a holographic image of a pizza boy!
Cool, can I have a veggie special with non-dairy cheese?
Stacy! Hey, too bad jeremy didn't order a pizza,
Then you could hang out with him and find out what guys talk about.
Brilliant!
(gasps)
Just kidding, candace.
Candace?
Oh, boy. I gotta work on my delivery.
It's way too deadpan.
"knowing what we're gonna do today." check.
"wondering where perry is?" check.
We're on fire today!
(giggling)
Did you order a pizza? Nope.
Maybe he delivered a pizza
Before you even thought about ordering it.
Ferb, make a note for later.
Time travel pizzeria.
And then I thought, "why be a brigadier general
"when I could be a major general?"
I mean, why not, right? I'm a modern guy.
And then I thought, "maybe I'm still shooting too low.
"why be a major general when I could be a lieutenant general?"
And then I thought, "why be a..." ahh!
What, do you have a blowtorch under your tail or something?
Ow! (yelps)
Jeremy: 37-42-74... Hike! Hike!
Hey! Hey! I'm open!
(in deep voice) pizza delivery.
Huh? (grunts)
That didn't count. Pizza interference.
Candace: Pizza for jeremy johnson!
Uh, sorry, dude, but we didn't order any pizza.
You didn't. But your girlfriend did.
Yeah, that's some girlfriend you've got there!
I'd say you're probably the luckiest man alive
To have a girlfriend like that.
Wait a minute.
You look familiar.
Do I know you?
Mmm-mmm, no. (clears throat)
You really look familiar. Aren't you...
No, just an average hamburger-eating, football-playing,
Punchin', gamin' boy.
(hawking)
(spits)
Boys spit. That's why I did that.
Wait! You're gary frank!
You were the popular senior two years in a row!
Dude, you gotta join us for a pizza break.
It'll be fun to catch up and talk.
Talk? Yeah! Talk!
(belches) (all laughing)
(faking laughter)
That was funny. Belching!
(continues fake laughter)
It's so, uh, male.
Right, bros?
But, you know, maybe we should talk
About something like, I dunno.
Does anyone have any deep thoughts they'd like to share?
Nope. What?
Well, I think this pizza's really good!
Oh, I'm so glad!
Yeah. I figured you guys would like the supreme meat lover's choice.
Though I wasn't sure about the prosciutto.
Sometimes it can be rather tough,
And when it gets in between your teeth,
It can be really embarrassing, like...
Um, that's how I feel about it. What?
I have a feeling.
Great. Let's hear it.
I have a feeling if jeremy doesn't wash that shirt soon,
It's gonna be reported as a health hazard.
(chuckling) jeremy: Oh, yeah?
Well, your face is a health hazard!
Your breath is a health hazard! (belching)
(all laughing)
I have really been underestimating stacy's conversational skills.
Okay, I can tell by the way you're looking at me
That I'm suddenly the 26th president
Of the United States, teddy roosevelt.
The downside is, I'll be succeeded by william taft.
Blech!
The upside, perry the platypus,
Is that the hero of san juan hill was a heck of a pugilist!
Put up your dukes! Come on!
Hmm, I guess the animal setting wasn't such a hot... Ow!
Wait, how did you punch me?
The hologram is so much taller than...
(groaning)
It defies logic!
Jeremy: Yeah, well, my fantasy league is killin' it this year.
Thomas got me two touchdowns, (sighing)
23 points last week, and 189 yards.
I'm in first place in my keeper league.
You're lucky because I drafted kimball,
But he's out for two more weeks.
What?
So, uh, what else can we talk about?
Hmm, let me think. Uh... Oh, I know.
Anyone here have a girlfriend? What?
I do. Her name's stacy.
She's absolutely the best...
Not you. I'm asking jeremy.
Duh. Remember the whole "your girlfriend ordered the pizza" thing?
Oh, right!
Yeah, your girlfriend ordered pizzas!
(clearing throat) so, yeah, what do you think of her?
She's cool. What do you mean, "cool"?
Like cool how?
I just mean she's cool.
So, cool, like, you like her cool?
Like, she's totally cool to be around cool,
Or cool, like, she's cold and distant?
Uh, those first two. Not that last one.
She's cool. She's sweet.
You mean, sweet like thoughtful,
Or sweet like so sugary you're gonna be sick?
No, I just mean she's sweet. She's nice.
Nice like she's nice or...
What do you mean by that?
Just what I said. She's nice. She's cool.
So what you're telling me is that what you say is exactly what you mean?
Like, nothing more, nothing less?
You say it, you mean it. That's it?
Well, yeah. What else would I mean?
Nothing, I guess, 'cause we're, like, dudes.
What?
Okay! So, you know, um, I'm gonna go.
Great hanging with you!
Yeah, enlightening.
Wow, he is not like he was in high school. (belches)
(all laughing)
Oh, come on!
Oh, I get it. Pigskin.
Oh, great. My inator has a sense of...
(screeching)
Velociraptor power attack!
Chorus: ♪ bust 'em, bust 'em, bust 'em! ♪
Oh, great. Where am I supposed to find a paleo-orthodontist?
Okay, ferb, fire it up!
Ah! Congratulations, guys!
We're the first humans ever to taste blueberry air!
Eh. I'm more of a lingonberry kind of guy.
Hey, you're back! I'll take a large pie with andouille sausage
And chocolate chips.
First of all, ew!
Why would you eat that?
And second, I'm not a pizza boy.
Oh, my gosh! It's candace!
With what appears to be a holographic field projection
Mapped onto her.
Why are you surprised? Didn't you guys do this?
Nope. We were just making blueberry air.
Why blueberry? Why not lingonberry?
Exactly! What's that all about?
(groaning) well, how can I get this off?
Buford is, like, the eighth person to order pizza from me!
And that's not even how you order pizza!
Well, we didn't do it,
But we'll be glad to undo it.
Side project, gang!
No! No! Not the inator! I totally need that!
Who's this nincompoop?
Oh, right. Curse you, perry the platypus!
And that football player,
The gorilla, and lolo jones,
And blanca dechan, and director diphthong.
Everybody! Curse you all!
Okay, we have everything we need
For a holographic field disrupter.
We'll build it, and you'll be totally...
Back to normal!
Cool! Thanks, guys. Bust ya later!
I guess my pizza order isn't going in.
Won't someone think of the buford?
(phone ringing) (beeps)
Hello? Jeremy: Hey, candace.
I just wanted to thank you for sending over the pizzas.
That was really cool.
Cool! You liked it?
It was awesome!
So, we still on for the movies tonight?
Cool! Cool!
♪ cool! ♪ cool!
♪ cool! C-c-cool!
♪ cool! ♪ cool!
♪ c-c-c... ♪ cool!
♪ cool! Cool! ♪ cool!
♪ arctic ♪
What do you mean by that?
Exactly what I said.