1
00:00:01,930 --> 00:00:04,550
我再说最后一遍 最好的警察电影 按排名来

2
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,200
- 你们能否认吗  - 你错了

3
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,930
才是史上最伟大的警察电影

4
00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,800
一个警察英勇地挽救大局

5
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:15,700
其他人都在旁观

6
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:17,300
简直就是我的人生写照

7
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:18,770
我喜欢

8
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:21,270
Tom Hanks不得不和一条狗生活在一起

9
00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:23,270
感同身受

10
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,810
不

11
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:27,210
我喜欢的电影里都有 无端的暴力

12
00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:29,720
我以为你要列个表

13
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,150
- 是的 列完了  - 好吧

14
00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,620
来说说嘛 那才是最棒的警察电影

15
00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:35,620
Smith先生 帅帅的

16
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:38,760
帅气的警察Tea Leoni 很赞的好吗

17
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,490
Francois Truffaut的

18
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:42,590
怎么了

19
00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,730
Terry喜欢外国电影

20
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,760
好吧 这个问题

21
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:47,960
还是有个正确答案的

22
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,100
大家都过来看看

23
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,400
史上最伟大的警察电影

24
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,800
观影期间请勿发短信

25
00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:54,930
打扰一下 女士们

26
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,270
这是Hitchcock

27
00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:57,340
这是老妓女

28
00:00:58,670 --> 00:00:59,850
拜托 那都是四年前的事了

29
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:01,840
嘘 最精彩的部分来了

30
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,640
她又回来了 拿走了钱包 然后她下手了

31
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:08,190
神烦警探 
第一季 第三集

32
00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:29,910
毛衣真好看

33
00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:31,960
今晚又要去祸害谁啊 美女杀手

34
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:34,960
拭目以待吧

35
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000
没有 我是说你穿得和那个美女杀手一模一样

36
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,510
我靠

37
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:42,470
又是Jeffrey Dahmer撞衫事件的重演

38
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:45,110
好了 开始吧 Scully

39
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,810
老案件材料的数字化工作你做得怎么样了

40
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,880
截至昨天 我已经完成百分之一了

41
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,230
你有啥好笑的

42
00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:53,480
这跟没做过似的

43
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:54,580
一共有几千起案件呢

44
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,120
每一起案件 我都得

45
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,990
在50个不同的页面上填好200来个小框框

46
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,490
至少你整天都能坐着

47
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,820
其实这才是最惨的

48
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,740
医生说我肛裂

49
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,370
天呐 Scully

50
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,730
为何你总是要告诉我们

51
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,060
你那恶心的身体状况

52
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,170
什么都没看到啊

53
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:10,960
因为这全是瘊子

54
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,010
竟然有人会愿意嫁给你

55
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,300
Peralta 亚当街盗窃案怎么样了

56
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,440
警监 我们快要破案了

57
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,510
只不过找不到证据

58
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,110
嫌疑犯 也没有线索

59
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,390
总结 离破案还差十万八千里

60
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,450
维克斯街的伤人案呢

61
00:02:28,450 --> 00:02:30,590
没有进展 Calloway抢劫案

62
00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:31,620
也还是没破

63
00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:34,990
都是因为我破不了

64
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,530
似乎某人陷入了低谷期啊

65
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,800
我才没有

66
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,060
你没有吗 看看计分板

67
00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:43,200
我是不会陷入低谷期的

68
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,700
我是低谷的反面

69
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,740
我谷低

70
00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,080
是倒着写的"低谷"

71
00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:49,640
这就是我

72
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,780
我谷低这混蛋一身

73
00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:53,780
散会

74
00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:55,800
- 低谷  - 谷低

75
00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,250
等下 在你说话之前

76
00:03:00,250 --> 00:03:01,920
我想根据你的表情猜测一下发生了什么

77
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,150
有人死了

78
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,960
不对 你获奖了

79
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,090
算了我还是不行

80
00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:07,890
我比较关心你桌上的

81
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,160
正在办理的案件跟垃圾堆一样高

82
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,320
比已经完结的案件要多很多啊

83
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,160
好吧 长官

84
00:03:13,170 --> 00:03:14,400
我来给你类比一下

85
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,690
你对赛车熟悉吗

86
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,150
一级方程式赛车还是普通赛车

87
00:03:17,170 --> 00:03:19,070
已经远远超出我对赛车的了解范围了

88
00:03:19,070 --> 00:03:21,270
我想说的是 我是一辆超级牛逼的赛车

89
00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:23,070
只不过不幸遇上几个减速带而已

90
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,440
你的赛道上还有减速带吗

91
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:25,810
赛车没有减速带这个东西吗

92
00:03:25,810 --> 00:03:26,980
应该有的

93
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:28,880
我要说的就是 现在我又开上了畅通的道路

94
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,580
我快要破案了

95
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:32,580
失踪的外婆Helen Sterrino

96
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,920
上周日 她的外孙Judd报案说

97
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,190
她出门买百吉圈 之后就没有回来了

98
00:03:37,190 --> 00:03:38,890
今天早上 我们发现了一位老妇人

99
00:03:38,890 --> 00:03:40,620
完全符合描述

100
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,760
我给她看了Judd的照片

101
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,930
引用她的话说

102
00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:47,930
"那就是我外孙"

103
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:49,300
我不是说过不要模仿吗

104
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,570
我是一个说故事的人

105
00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:52,240
这是我的技巧

106
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,970
不管怎样 外孙要过来了

107
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,470
一家人重聚 这个案件就要被放到

108
00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:57,180
"已解决"那堆文件里去了

109
00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:01,980
这不是我的羊角面包嘛

110
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,990
您找我吗 长官

111
00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:10,860
是的 地方检察官想要我亲自向你道谢

112
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,960
你在杰伊街毒品追捕案中表现很出色

113
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,660
这就是我们的动力

114
00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:15,830
为了得到表扬吗

115
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,330
呃

116
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,600
这有一个社区外展服务项目

117
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,860
对我来说很重要

118
00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:21,500
不知道你是否愿意主管这个项目

119
00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:24,070
当然了 长官

120
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,440
我不仅会主管

121
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,170
还会全身心投入地管

122
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:29,440
我会跳进去 在里头游泳

123
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,140
总而言之我会好好干的

124
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,780
你对孩子们说话时口齿得更伶俐点

125
00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:37,650
好的 我会好好说话的

126
00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,150
警长 我要找几个人帮我凑数

127
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:43,790
你能不能变成"恐怖Terry"

128
00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:46,120
我特别喜欢变成"恐怖Terry"

129
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,910
他说出了"正常Terry"的心声

130
00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:49,860
怎么花了这么久时间

131
00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:52,260
我都要错过农贸集会了

132
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:53,400
但是我太忙了

133
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,300
我手头有个特别的案子

134
00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:56,700
Hitchcock

135
00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:58,170
Boyle要你去凑人数

136
00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,170
好啊 我把衣服脱了

137
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,570
没人要你脱衣服

138
00:05:01,570 --> 00:05:03,910
别再主动脱衣服了

139
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:06,080
听不见 衣服挡住耳朵了

140
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,580
Rosa

141
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,350
噢 我喜欢你的鞋子 真的非常

142
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,680
- 你有啥要求  - 有色彩 好吧

143
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,320
你知不知道每一年 我们片区

144
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,950
都有少年警察项目

145
00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:16,690
就是那个我们帮助没用的小孩

146
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,660
让他们变成学生告密者的那个项目吗

147
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,220
不是 使我们帮助边缘少年

148
00:05:21,230 --> 00:05:23,430
- 没用的  - 报名成为少年警官

149
00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:25,200
告密者 怎么了

150
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,900
警监指定要我来主管今年的项目

151
00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:28,230
我替你报了名 和我一起做

152
00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:29,230
信息都在这

153
00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,700
我还得看资料啊

154
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,470
你们好 好吧

155
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,810
我想我能帮你们干这事

156
00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:36,240
我不需要你帮忙

157
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:37,710
我不是针对你 就是

158
00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:40,210
你不是警察 所以我也不太确定

159
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:41,340
- 你能帮上忙  - 好吧

160
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:42,350
没啥不高兴的

161
00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:43,510
但是我恨你

162
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,280
不是开玩笑 再见

163
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,120
Terrino夫妇你们好

164
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,550
很高兴你们来了

165
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,220
让我介绍一下

166
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:56,030
我的宝贝儿 谢天谢地总算找到你们了

167
00:05:56,030 --> 00:05:58,960
看看你漂亮的脸蛋儿

168
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,600
我不认识这位女士

169
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,730
我这辈子都没见过这个人

170
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,900
什么 她认出你了

171
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,970
- 这是Helen  - 谁是Helen

172
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,640
那是我丈夫

173
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,270
Solomon

174
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,070
我 我不是她丈夫

175
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:16,080
你比以前矮了好多

176
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,280
那些日本人都对你做了些啥啊

177
00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:20,010
真不是一代人

178
00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:22,180
这是Ethel Musterberg

179
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,250
展望高地养老院的

180
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,450
她后裤袋里有张身份证

181
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:28,420
你的手怎么会伸到她的后裤袋里

182
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,690
她说她没有身份证

183
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,190
不像Boyle 我的第一反应

184
00:06:32,190 --> 00:06:33,990
可不是去抚摸她屁股

185
00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:36,530
是搜 我搜她的屁股

186
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,530
看来还是没有破案啊 Peralta

187
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:41,900
天呐

188
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,970
我陷入低谷了

189
00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:50,030
真好 你们都在休息室

190
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:51,370
你叫我们过来的

191
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,440
什么 这儿有个假设性的问题

192
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,900
假如说我认识一个人

193
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,370
在职业生涯中第一次

194
00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:59,170
遇到了小小的低谷

195
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,480
如果有人正在经历职业低谷

196
00:07:00,510 --> 00:07:02,380
你们会建议他们怎么做

197
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,150
自从我离婚以来 我就没有什么低谷了

198
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,550
所以我会对这个人说"离婚去吧"

199
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,020
但他首先得结婚

200
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,390
所以你的建议就是

201
00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:12,350
结婚然后离婚

202
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,620
Rosa

203
00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:15,220
飞到蒙特利尔 找个经典的旅馆酒吧

204
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,730
上个陌生人 走出低谷

205
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,260
哇 听着真棒

206
00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:19,260
- 是啊  - 这是个好主意

207
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,460
警长 你会怎么做

208
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:21,630
10000个仰卧起坐

209
00:07:21,630 --> 00:07:23,030
假设这个人只能做

210
00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:25,570
9500个 或者3个

211
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,670
你有后备计划吗

212
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,170
你们在这里头干嘛

213
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:31,510
我们在帮助Jake的朋友走出低谷

214
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,640
或者专注研究一个案子然后解决它 Peralta

215
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,880
我觉得破案

216
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,480
就是走出低谷的最佳方法

217
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,880
- 谢谢你 警监  - 他说的对

218
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,320
你需要一次胜利

219
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,790
找个最简单 最不费脑的案子

220
00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:44,990
然后专攻它 直到破案

221
00:07:44,990 --> 00:07:46,190
好吧

222
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,260
先按Rosa说的在蒙特利尔打一炮

223
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,660
- 听着就有意思  - 是啊

224
00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:54,930
这是少年警官项目

225
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:57,400
又名"靠谱碟中谍"

226
00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:03,610
你们的任务 如果你们选择接受

227
00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:06,340
那就是选择让你们的生活重新步入正轨

228
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:08,080
臭警察

229
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,710
Gina

230
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,180
- 你在干嘛呢  - 你好啊Amy

231
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:13,550
我没啥好帮忙的 而且我又不是警察

232
00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:15,620
我就过来听听 好好学着咯

233
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,750
你能来帮帮我吗

234
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:19,590
不是很想

235
00:08:19,590 --> 00:08:22,630
我知道你们觉得惹麻烦很酷

236
00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:24,360
我来展示一下如果你们继续这样下去

237
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,300
将会发生什么

238
00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:28,030
我是个边缘少年

239
00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:30,030
贩毒真酷

240
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,100
等一下 为什么那个贩毒的

241
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:33,240
听起来像是个黑人

242
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:34,670
- 他不是  - 为什么不是

243
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:37,710
你的意思是黑人不能贩毒吗

244
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:39,440
我没那个意思

245
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,680
我们的总统就是黑人

246
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:41,940
为什么黑人不能贩毒

247
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,980
我好混乱

248
00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:45,650
黑人可以贩毒

249
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,780
黑人可以贩毒

250
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,850
黑人可以贩毒

251
00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:52,290
黑人可以贩毒

252
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,290
黑人可以贩毒

253
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:56,630
黑人可以贩毒

254
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:03,130
别逼我再打你一次

255
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:07,140
我在给我女儿造娃娃屋

256
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,370
明天是她生日

257
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,940
我跟我妻子说了我会弄好的

258
00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:11,770
我小时候有个一模一样的

259
00:09:13,110 --> 00:09:15,610
妈 Charles占着我的娃娃屋

260
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,680
这是奶奶给我们两个人买的

261
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:21,680
- 要帮忙吗  - 不用 我可以的

262
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:24,120
只是让我有点抓狂

263
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,620
Boyle 这个公主塔怎么弄

264
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:29,330
- 怎么弄  - 在角楼的那边

265
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,030
等会儿 Boyle

266
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:32,560
让哥缓缓

267
00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:36,270
让哥缓缓

268
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,600
我为什么要和你换案子

269
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,940
我接到了好多电话举报萨克特塔有个人

270
00:09:40,940 --> 00:09:42,870
在他自己的公寓里贩毒

271
00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:44,170
绝对能抓到他

272
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,310
那样的话又要做好多文书工作了

273
00:09:46,310 --> 00:09:48,140
我知道你最讨厌文书工作了

274
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,450
我这个谋杀案 没有线索

275
00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:50,610
没有证据

276
00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:53,520
破不了的 所以

277
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:54,950
不会有文书工作

278
00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:57,420
我听到"没有文书工作"那句就同意了

279
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,160
那就是最后一句

280
00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:00,820
好了Boyle

281
00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:01,860
准备行动吧

282
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,290
Peralta 你上哪去

283
00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:05,500
我准备走出低谷

284
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,260
我要灌篮了 警监 只欠篮网

285
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:10,470
低谷 你马上就要被Jake锤子来个致命一击了

286
00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:12,190
所以你的老案子一个都没解决

287
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,840
还接了个新的

288
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,200
你至少要先把

289
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,310
Helen Sterrino奶奶失踪案解决了吧

290
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:18,810
或者我可以把超级简单的解决了

291
00:10:18,810 --> 00:10:21,580
重拾我的魔咒 然后继续抓"十二宫杀手"

292
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:22,580
我是冲昏头脑了吗

293
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,750
没有 "Jake兔"

294
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,710
我还是更喜欢"Jake锤" 出发吧

295
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:31,180
我真没想到让这些孩子报名有这么难

296
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:33,320
他们才不会听你的

297
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,490
你太 聪明 口齿伶俐

298
00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:36,730
你也是

299
00:10:36,730 --> 00:10:38,060
我怎么觉得那是坏话

300
00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:39,430
他们和你不是一类人

301
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,030
你不是在街头长大的 我是

302
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:42,830
跟上 看我 学习

303
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,370
都给老娘听好了

304
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,700
我知道你们以为自己很牛逼

305
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:49,740
但内心深处 你们是胆小鬼

306
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,240
我怎么知道的

307
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,710
因为我也曾是个胆小鬼

308
00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:55,780
你们要是不老实合作

309
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,420
我把你们这群小东西仍进监狱

310
00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:00,750
明白吗

311
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:02,720
来个混音版

312
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,190
*扔你们进监狱*

313
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,860
*扔你们进监狱*

314
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,190
*明白吗*

315
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,520
*扔你们进监狱*

316
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,560
什么情况

317
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,160
我觉得他们是在取笑你

318
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,030
从前从没发生过这种事

319
00:11:14,030 --> 00:11:16,430
- 我不喜欢  - *明白么*

320
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,400
不许动

321
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,770
警察 举起手来

322
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:26,110
不要开枪 我只是在练习小步舞曲 我会小点声的

323
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:28,240
长笛男 还有谁住在这公寓里

324
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,850
- 那毒贩呢  - 我自己一个住

325
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,080
还有我的鸟

326
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,510
你以为我不知道你们这障眼法啊

327
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:33,750
这些都是托儿

328
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:34,920
它们就是毒托儿

329
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:36,620
鸟托儿

330
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:37,690
毒鸟托儿

331
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:38,990
没其他人在这

332
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,630
有好多人举报说这里有毒贩

333
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:42,930
肯定是楼下那些蠢孩子

334
00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:44,730
他们就爱给我打恶作剧电话

335
00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:46,400
这里唯一的药物(毒品)都是用于

336
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,130
治疗我的心脏 肝脏

337
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:50,470
肾脏 唾液腺

338
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,970
阴茎和脚的

339
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,950
鸟在你肩膀上拉屎了

340
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,280
不是 是拉在你头上

341
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,130
然后滴到你肩膀上了

342
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,990
我告诉你 那是好运

343
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:05,320
才不是呢

344
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,000
那只是当鸟在你身上拉屎之后

345
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,990
别人安慰你的话

346
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,130
让开

347
00:12:12,170 --> 00:12:14,770
- 别闹了  - 我在犯罪现场

348
00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:17,600
也不知道这家伙从哪蹦出来的 然后就认罪了

349
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,040
他说他要戴罪立功

350
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,570
就帮我们追捕他的共犯

351
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,280
太棒了

352
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,780
看来你挺顺利的 Hitchcock

353
00:12:28,820 --> 00:12:31,020
Jake 忙不

354
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,520
你看得出来我很忙吧

355
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:36,150
刚法医那边来电话

356
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,690
说他们把一些证据弄错了

357
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,860
所以地检只能驳回你之前的两个案子

358
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,030
真好

359
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:43,660
低谷竟然还能更低点

360
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:44,960
我不觉得这是低估

361
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,100
说实话 你简直就是被诅咒了

362
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:48,670
感谢告知

363
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:00,980
请给我点纸巾行吗 Gina

364
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,350
请续纸

365
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,420
没有纸了

366
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,450
确实是

367
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:09,750
嗨

368
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,520
你弄湿我地毯了

369
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,990
不用担心 长官 只是便池水

370
00:13:14,990 --> 00:13:16,460
纯干净的便池水

371
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:17,890
你都可以直接舔他衬衣

372
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,600
我为啥要舔他的衬衣

373
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,600
长官 我不知道到底怎么回事

374
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,970
但是我觉得我被诅咒了

375
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,070
诅咒吗

376
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,440
诡异的事一直发生在我身上

377
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,240
我没法破掉一个案子

378
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,040
鸟在我身上到处拉屎

379
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,510
两秒钟前

380
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,710
警长 你这里有穿过的衬衣么 我

381
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:39,550
被诅咒了

382
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:41,890
我之前也遇到过这情况

383
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,790
在18区的时候我有个朋友也这样

384
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:45,120
Smith警探

385
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,390
我们叫他Smitty

386
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,590
他觉得他被诅咒了

387
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:49,890
因为警察都很迷信

388
00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:51,390
整个辖区都觉得他被诅咒了

389
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,930
然后他破了个案子

390
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:54,200
现在他和Kate Upton结婚了

391
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:54,450
Kate Upton 性感女模 维密天使

392
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,130
不是 没人愿和他一起办案

393
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:58,640
他孤身一人去处理健身房暴乱

394
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,440
结果被排球女运动员暴揍

395
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,070
相当暴力啊

396
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:04,140
神啊

397
00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:06,310
女人太可怕了

398
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,480
我不想你再上前线了 Peralta

399
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:09,580
你还是不要办案了

400
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:10,910
你和Scully去把旧案存入电脑吧

401
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,080
让我坐冷板凳吗

402
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,920
不行 不行 我都计划好了

403
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,820
让Hitchcock办我没破的案子

404
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:16,890
他最近走狗屎运

405
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:17,990
分给我了20个新案子

406
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,420
我的运气肯定会回来的

407
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,660
不行 我觉得这样对你对警队都不是很好

408
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:22,760
除非这诅咒消失掉

409
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:23,830
要多久呢

410
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,130
没准一周

411
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,300
没准一个月

412
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,400
没准一年 没准十年

413
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,140
不好意思 我们只是一直在往大里说

414
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:34,100
我真不知道怎么样和这些孩子交流

415
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:37,140
他们又刻薄又肤浅还不懂尊重

416
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:39,140
他们会听什么样的人的话呢

417
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:41,410
Hitchcock 不要再把你的食物

418
00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:42,750
放在特百惠保鲜盒里了

419
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:44,710
我打开的时候弄得手指痛

420
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:45,820
不好意思啊

421
00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:51,450
你好啊 Gina 瞧这超可爱的

422
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:52,460
想怎样

423
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,220
毛衣 好吧

424
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:55,830
Rosa和我都觉得你要是和那群孩子

425
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:57,330
聊聊挺不错的

426
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,500
我以为只有警察才能帮忙啊

427
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,960
这种情况下 不是警察

428
00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:02,700
- 可能会更好  - 说得对

429
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:05,540
所有情况下 警察都是最烂的

430
00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:09,670
"请把报告的编号"

431
00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:11,740
"填到页面上相应的框里"

432
00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:12,810
"然后填写这些文档"

433
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:14,310
然后我就昏迷了

434
00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:16,010
嗨 Hitchcock

435
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:17,480
帮帮我 我快无聊死了

436
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:18,820
让我回来和你一起破那个凶杀案吧

437
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,720
不用 我可以的

438
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,150
拜托 就让我

439
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:23,150
不要 不要碰文件 会传染的

440
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:24,890
事情就大条了

441
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,260
Geraldo 不要骚扰Hitchcock

442
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,290
过来

443
00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,530
我联系上Smitty了

444
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,160
他说让你用你的左手食指和小指

445
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,030
摩擦兔子的脚

446
00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:36,430
这样就转运了

447
00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:38,270
明白么 你试试

448
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,600
好吧

449
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,270
是

450
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,270
真有效啊

451
00:15:43,270 --> 00:15:44,770
我能感觉到

452
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:47,180
诅咒正在消散

453
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,750
手抽筋了

454
00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,080
接着摩 继续擦

455
00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:55,890
你还好吧

456
00:15:55,890 --> 00:15:59,020
这仙女公主城堡打败我了

457
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:01,220
我是成年男人

458
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:02,960
有着强壮的双手健硕的大脑

459
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,530
我应该可以在四小时内

460
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,030
组装好一个娃娃屋的

461
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:09,330
为啥要这么难

462
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:13,270
看看 这个螺丝钉有三个尖头

463
00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:15,470
都没地方用螺丝刀

464
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,110
还有轮子

465
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,180
啥样的城堡会有轮子啊

466
00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:30,150
117a 有

467
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,590
117b 有

468
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:32,860
118a

469
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,290
等一下

470
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:43,330
我去厕所

471
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,930
带着兔子脚

472
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:47,600
遵命

473
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:53,680
- 什么情况  - 嗨

474
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:55,410
我不能离开我的座位

475
00:16:55,410 --> 00:16:56,450
所以我们只能在这见面

476
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,950
所以你是说

477
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,380
- 这是  - 不是 最后一次声明 Charles

478
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,580
我们不需要俱乐部

479
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,620
俱乐部

480
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:06,520
俱乐部

481
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:07,560
你知道我在想什么么

482
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,360
不要俱乐部

483
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:11,130
我要你帮我打几个电话

484
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:12,430
不要让Holt发现你

485
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:14,230
要是我预感是对的 我的低谷结束了

486
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:15,630
帮我度过难关 Boyle

487
00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,100
- 没问题的  - 好

488
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,840
我是说 在这布置几把皮椅

489
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,000
快去

490
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:25,480
孩子们 你们的问题不是你们爱闯祸

491
00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:28,620
不是边缘人 也不是不会穿衣打扮

492
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:30,390
你还带卡车司机帽么

493
00:17:30,390 --> 00:17:32,590
拜托 你们的问题

494
00:17:32,630 --> 00:17:35,830
是你们对任何事都毫无激情

495
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:39,870
发现我的激情所在之后 我的人生就转变了

496
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,500
现在

497
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:45,100
我希望这能激励你们

498
00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:49,670
Christina Aguilera - Beautiful

499
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,380
*无论他们说什么*

500
00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:56,210
*你都如此美丽*

501
00:17:56,250 --> 00:18:00,890
*流言蜚语不能击败你*

502
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,820
*不会的*

503
00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:05,720
*各个角度*

504
00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:08,430
*你都无懈可击*

505
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,500
大家有什么感想

506
00:18:11,530 --> 00:18:13,170
好 牛仔女说

507
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,730
我觉得大家都认为

508
00:18:14,730 --> 00:18:17,040
你的怪舞 很诡异

509
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:20,710
好 警察每年挣5万2

510
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:22,070
见红灯不用停车

511
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,910
还可以时刻带枪 谁想报名

512
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,350
- 不错  - 天啊

513
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:30,220
你说服了8个孩子要报名啊

514
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:31,350
你咋知道这招管用

515
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:33,390
我小时候就是这样被骗来的

516
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:35,450
- 你也参加这个计划了  - 对啊

517
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:36,890
不起任何作用

518
00:18:40,130 --> 00:18:41,490
他们来了

519
00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:42,790
真棒

520
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:43,930
太戏剧化么

521
00:18:43,930 --> 00:18:45,000
- 不会  - 你们好

522
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,060
为什么我们要在厕所见

523
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,130
我就知道你会这样问

524
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:48,530
我稍后解答

525
00:18:48,530 --> 00:18:50,600
但首先 我知道你们的奶奶怎么了

526
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:51,600
什么都没有

527
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,040
你说什么

528
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,070
我之所以找不到她

529
00:18:54,070 --> 00:18:55,410
是因为她根本不存在

530
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,510
我让Boyle警探帮我打了几个电话询问

531
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,610
结果是你们之前也这样做过

532
00:18:59,610 --> 00:19:02,780
在五个不同的州上报了五个不同的失踪人

533
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:03,820
还记得这个么

534
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:05,420
那你指控我们什么

535
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:06,520
没准是保险诈骗

536
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,250
但肯定是虚假报案 妨碍司法公正

537
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:11,560
你们肯定在想为啥我们要在厕所见面

538
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:12,720
因为你们脑子里都是屎

539
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,290
Jake又破一案

540
00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:16,190
Jake又破一案

541
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,530
警探

542
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,900
我看有8个人加入少年警员计划啊

543
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,430
干得好

544
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:22,830
谢谢夸奖 长官

545
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,970
尽管夸奖对我很重要

546
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:26,570
但这都是Gina的功劳

547
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:28,410
是她说服了孩子们的

548
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,940
是啊 我相当有才啊

549
00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:32,780
你只要答应我一件事作为报答

550
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:35,280
- 600%加薪  - 或者

551
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:36,420
我不给你加薪

552
00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:38,480
但让你做我的私人助理

553
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,520
这是我的决定

554
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,050
我觉得你有潜在的才能

555
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:42,820
能让你成为一个出色的私人助理

556
00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:44,990
我没有才能

557
00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:46,660
周一开始

558
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:50,660
时常得到Holt的认可才是最烂的

559
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:53,230
是啊 我只能靠想象了

560
00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:56,230
诅咒烟消云散了 低谷结束了

561
00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:57,470
Jake又恢复元气了

562
00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:58,840
长官 请允许我们自拍一个

563
00:19:58,840 --> 00:19:59,840
拒绝

564
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,610
太晚了

565
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,440
拍的不错

566
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,410
这么说 兔子脚还真管用啊

567
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:06,510
可能吧

568
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:08,350
我只知道之前做了太多脑子死机了

569
00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:10,850
然后那无聊的数据登入又让我重启了

570
00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,790
给了我之前旧案的灵感

571
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,260
我现在明白这是你计划好的

572
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,890
而且你是会笑的

573
00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:19,990
所有能干的警探

574
00:20:19,990 --> 00:20:21,690
都有高潮和低谷 Paralta

575
00:20:21,730 --> 00:20:23,200
你觉得我很能干

576
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,530
一言既出 驷马难追

577
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:26,200
你知道为什么Boyle没有低谷么

578
00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:27,930
因为他一辈子都是低谷么

579
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,300
因为他不向逆境低头

580
00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:31,370
他一直坚持着

581
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,310
如果我把新案子交给你

582
00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:35,570
一旦你遇到困难 你又会止步不前了

583
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:37,510
你要跳出思维定势

584
00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,880
对 但是 长官 我不明白

585
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,550
如果这是你的计划的话 为啥还提起Smitty

586
00:20:40,550 --> 00:20:41,710
还有那兔子脚

587
00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:42,910
我有个很合理的原因

588
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,550
我相信正确的用词是

589
00:20:46,550 --> 00:20:48,490
逗你玩

590
00:20:50,090 --> 00:20:51,560
我懂了

591
00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:54,930
我们是好兄弟了

592
00:20:54,930 --> 00:20:56,860
办公室最佳圣诞卡候选者在此

593
00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,600
我和Holt是好兄弟哦

594
00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:01,230
嗨 警长

595
00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:02,670
我帮你把城堡装好了

596
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,000
看啊

597
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,440
天啊

598
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,910
那公主装饰怎么都没了

599
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:09,310
都被毁了

600
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,780
我就弄成了个公主警局

601
00:21:10,780 --> 00:21:12,680
有些工作需要脑子

602
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,620
有些工作需要力量

603
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:17,460
有些工作需要细腻的小手指

604
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:19,760
我有没有跟你说过我得戴女人的结婚戒指呢

605
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,280
太感谢你了 Boyle 感激不尽

606
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,580
你是个好父亲 不要给自己太大压力

607
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:28,370
看呐 警笛能叫哦

608
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,240
我会搞好的 我会搞好的


