1
00:00:02,060 --> 00:00:04,290
你们看到我今天带回来的人了么

2
00:00:04,290 --> 00:00:06,690
那个毒贩 都81了

3
00:00:06,690 --> 00:00:09,330
我觉得他是我职业生涯逮到的最老的

4
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:12,590
有次我逮捕了一个96岁的暴露狂

5
00:00:12,590 --> 00:00:14,550
我吓死了 怕他会死在我车后座

6
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,950
或者是露给我看

7
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:19,290
我逮过最老的是78 不过迷幻药

8
00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:20,620
让她打架的时候像20岁的

9
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,160
那50岁的双胞胎呢

10
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,490
能不能算是100岁

11
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:24,490
- 不算  - 不算

12
00:00:24,490 --> 00:00:27,410
你们在讨论最老的么 我的纪录是68

13
00:00:27,410 --> 00:00:29,460
- 那不是很老啊  - 不老 但是我当时才20

14
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:31,140
20岁 你那么年轻就当警察了么

15
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:34,250
不是 是在我去军校之前

16
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:38,760
Charles说的不是他逮过的最老的

17
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,830
不是 是 我是

18
00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:42,630
对啊 逮捕过的最老的 是68 正如我所说

19
00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:44,630
天啊 你20多岁的时候

20
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,000
居然和68的上床了

21
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,910
你懂得

22
00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:49,340
当你有机会和年长的女人上床 你

23
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:52,340
不对 那可不是年长的 那是年老的

24
00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,740
那是奶奶级人物啊

25
00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:55,310
她还真是 我们就是那样邂逅的

26
00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:57,280
我和他孙子Marvin是大学同学呢

27
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,190
你没试过就不要乱说

28
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:01,420
她的髋骨可是金属转矩的呢

29
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,790
就像是和变形金刚做爱一样

30
00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:05,990
可真没人意淫过这个

31
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,370
神烦警探 
第一季 第五集

32
00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:27,880
Peralta

33
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,800
林肯地区的凶杀案进展如何了

34
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,470
这周早些时候我告诉Holt警监

35
00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:34,800
离目标一步之遥 这是橄榄球术语啊

36
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,680
我知道 Jake 我在意大利锡拉库扎当过中后卫

37
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,240
- 真的假的  - 高中时候 我在音乐剧

38
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,780
演过棒球中外场呢

39
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,280
你可没必要炫耀这个啊

40
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,310
Peralta你要不要再给大家复习一下

41
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- 嗯嗯呃  - 我可没有问你

42
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,650
好吧

43
00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:52,250
准备好看大屏幕

44
00:01:52,290 --> 00:01:54,620
给大家介绍Fred Gorman

45
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:57,960
杰出公民 律师 尸体

46
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,290
这是她老婆 Ann Hoert

47
00:02:00,290 --> 00:02:02,100
她没有取他的姓

48
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,130
但她取了他的命

49
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- 真押韵  - 谢谢 Charles

50
00:02:05,770 --> 00:02:08,600
Hoert有这个打算 有动机也有机会

51
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,300
我们只需找到杀人凶器

52
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,440
出于某种原因 地检在我们找到她杀人用刀之前

53
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:13,810
是不会给我们逮捕令的

54
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,940
那不是他们想赢得案件的原因么

55
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:16,970
是

56
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那找到它

57
00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:19,940
那一家和市长很亲近

58
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上级也一直在给我施加压力

59
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:22,910
我再问你一次

60
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,150
你需不需要任何人力物力的帮助

61
00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:26,820
不用 警官 我可以的

62
00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:28,220
好

63
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,320
散会

64
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,320
Jeffords警长来我办公室

65
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,570
他可能想和你讨论一下

66
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,160
为什么你的衬衫不够紧身

67
00:02:38,330 --> 00:02:40,360
好 我们可以帮点什么 你需要什么

68
00:02:40,390 --> 00:02:41,630
我什么都不需要

69
00:02:41,630 --> 00:02:44,330
我要破了这个案子 见一下市长

70
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,000
跟Channing Tatum签了卖身契

71
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,630
他就能在新电影里扮演没我帅的兄弟了

72
00:02:48,670 --> 00:02:51,300
不要这样 Peralta Holt说要投入所有警力

73
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,540
我们都想尽快破案

74
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,140
我很感谢你们想帮忙 最好还是我自己来

75
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,940
除了做爱的时候

76
00:02:57,940 --> 00:03:00,310
实际上 有时候也包括做爱

77
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:01,810
你就让我们帮忙吧

78
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:03,050
好吧 好吧

79
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:06,000
我就让一个人帮忙 Charles来

80
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,280
在

81
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,500
我选他是因为他最不可能

82
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,450
抢我风头了

83
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,420
我绝不会抢你风头的

84
00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:15,250
借一下你的风头我都怕

85
00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:19,120
Terry 跟我一起去靶场吧

86
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,290
你是说让我开车送你去然后在外面等着你么

87
00:03:21,290 --> 00:03:22,860
离枪越远越好

88
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:25,330
我在公共事务这行业做了8年了

89
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,380
枪技有点生疏了

90
00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:28,400
需要点指导

91
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,230
长官 自从那个事件之后我就再也没开过枪了

92
00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:34,070
假人事件啊 我很了解啊

93
00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:43,880
实际上 那之后还有个事件

94
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,010
还有

95
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,180
哥们儿 你得冷静啊

96
00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:53,850
我去拿糖吃

97
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:56,450
长官 我可能不是最佳人选

98
00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:58,590
你以前可是管辖区的神枪手啊

99
00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,250
我需要最好的指导

100
00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:02,160
那我们低调行事吧

101
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,120
下班后去私人靶场吧

102
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,810
无警察 无压力

103
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,590
靶场

104
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:12,060
- 我告诉Gina她可以跟我们一起去  - 我想拿到配枪资格

105
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:14,360
我住的那区最近很不安生

106
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,810
那片区的警察也是吃白饭的

107
00:04:16,810 --> 00:04:18,370
你就住我们片区

108
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,100
我知道

109
00:04:21,140 --> 00:04:23,240
虽然我们之前问过了

110
00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:25,010
但我们还要再问一次

111
00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:27,140
走廊里有没有任何地方你觉得

112
00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,570
可以藏住一把刀

113
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我都跟你们说了 得三次了吧 没有

114
00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:33,440
我还是录个音

115
00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:34,950
我就不用再说一次了

116
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:38,410
走廊 和所有走廊一样

117
00:04:38,450 --> 00:04:41,250
没有秘密藏刀的地方

118
00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:43,150
好 你要再听一遍么

119
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,820
小说的构思

120
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:48,790
一位温良恭谨的门童的鸡鸡被有辐射的蜘蛛咬了

121
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:51,360
遂而成为世界上最厉害的伴侣

122
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:53,220
不要停 我想知道发生了什么

123
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:53,920
真好

124
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,790
你要非想知道的话 他救了第一夫人

125
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挺引人入胜的

126
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,300
天啊

127
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:03,930
你们好啊

128
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,530
我听说你们要再巡查一遍

129
00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:08,130
好

130
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,240
- 猛男 归你了  - 拜托

131
00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:14,780
警察

132
00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:16,440
女士

133
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谢天谢地 给 抱着

134
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,980
- 千层面要糊了  - 好吧

135
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:23,560
抓住狗 不要让它碰宝宝

136
00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:27,920
好 我是Peralta

137
00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:30,660
我看了你桌子上受害人的照片

138
00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:32,420
是Rosa么 替我问好

139
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:33,760
那个伤口和我之前

140
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,190
一个案子的很像

141
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:36,190
不是刀伤

142
00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:37,860
我觉得是某种螺旋状的东西 比如说螺旋开瓶器

143
00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:38,900
嘘 嘘

144
00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:40,630
别嘘我 我在帮你

145
00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:42,000
不是 我抱着孩子呢

146
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,700
你说的那些很有用 谢谢

147
00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:46,940
你最好回来 现在就回

148
00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:57,450
你好啊 Peralta

149
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:00,450
不 不 不

150
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,800
我不知道你为啥这么不开心

151
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,520
我才是收拾这个烂摊子的人

152
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,670
小矮人 你还好吧

153
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:07,860
- 你好啊  - 感觉很性感吗

154
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,190
是啊 我很性感

155
00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:10,560
- 你很性感   - 我就是性感

156
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,600
小心门

157
00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:15,860
说真的 你能举多重的哑铃

158
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,360
警监 求您了 求您了 求求您

159
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,740
别让他接手我这个案子

160
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:22,000
重案组一旦介入 我也爱莫能助

161
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,140
这案子不用你管了

162
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:24,510
真不敢相信你这样

163
00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,510
就把我的谋杀案给那个秃鹰了

164
00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,040
我们叫他"秃鹰"是因为

165
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,850
他总是等案子快要解决的时候就来插足

166
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,110
然后领掉全部功劳

167
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:34,070
我知道 Boyle 你没解释之前我就懂了

168
00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:36,370
但是首先 重案组对他们想接手的每个案子

169
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:37,620
都有管辖权

170
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:39,090
更重要的是

171
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:41,260
是你自己坚持要独自办案

172
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:43,680
我一直都在和你说找队里的人一起帮忙

173
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:44,590
你自己拒绝了

174
00:06:44,630 --> 00:06:46,060
我找他们帮忙了

175
00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:48,130
Rosa就想到了凶器是螺旋开瓶器

176
00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:50,600
Charles还抓了一条狗

177
00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:52,720
恭喜你 Bolye警探

178
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,570
你早就该让他帮忙了

179
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:56,590
把你的文件交给Pembroke警探

180
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:57,940
警监 请叫他秃鹰

181
00:06:57,940 --> 00:06:59,420
你叫他名字会让他好像有人性似的

182
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:02,280
把文件交给他

183
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:03,380
好吧

184
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:04,610
为了表示我的抗议

185
00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:07,680
我要特别慢地走过去

186
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,420
谢谢

187
00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:19,550
天呐 这太没意思了

188
00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:21,200
我也觉得

189
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,800
在我破案之前

190
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,500
我要感谢你所做的这些超简单的工作

191
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,640
像Nancy Drew做的一样

192
00:07:27,670 --> 00:07:30,040
是吗 Nancy Drew破了很多谋杀案吗

193
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,040
是的 冰上谋杀案

194
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,240
谋杀处方

195
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,810
Nancy是位了不起的警探

196
00:07:34,810 --> 00:07:35,980
我小时候就希望长大后成为她那样的人

197
00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:38,280
谢谢你 Charles 说的真好

198
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,620
我们要不要打个赌看看我最快能多久破案

199
00:07:41,650 --> 00:07:43,730
- 不用了  - Diaz上一个"破不了"的敲诈案

200
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,350
我花了多久就破了

201
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,070
六个小时吗

202
00:07:47,070 --> 00:07:49,490
那是因为已经破了百分之九十八了

203
00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:52,190
剩下的百分之二才是最棘手的

204
00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:54,030
这里是指牛奶里含脂量为2%

205
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,030
所以他们才把那个放在牛奶里

206
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:55,330
什么

207
00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:56,500
噢 哇

208
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,300
Santiago 你看上去不错嘛

209
00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,940
你这个性感的小妖精

210
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:01,400
去死吧

211
00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:02,970
都是你的错

212
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,510
谢啦 冠军 做得好

213
00:08:06,510 --> 00:08:08,180
剩下的交给我吧

214
00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:10,210
还有 你需要我过来

215
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:11,770
给你白嫩嫩的屁股上粉的时候

216
00:08:11,770 --> 00:08:13,840
尽管给我打电话就好了

217
00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:18,750
那是我经历过最惨的事了

218
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:22,540
我太讨厌秃鹰了

219
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:25,810
我也是 不过他挺性感的

220
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:26,620
咋了

221
00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,750
你可以既讨厌某人同时又觉得他很性感

222
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,280
举个例子 Manuel Noriega

223
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,850
这个我同意

224
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,020
Tonya Harding

225
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,290
- 是啊 她身材很好  - 是吧

226
00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:38,260
- 你总是这么有品位啊 Jake  - 嗯哼

227
00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:40,290
很抱歉你被秃鹰抢了

228
00:08:40,290 --> 00:08:41,490
最出色的人都会被秃鹰抢

229
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:42,800
听我指令

230
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:44,650
一 二

231
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,770
三 我来接手

232
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,870
站起来 都站起来 转身

233
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:52,500
你有权保持沉默

234
00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:53,810
但你所说的一切

235
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:56,010
将作为呈堂证供

236
00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:57,210
谢啦 我来接手

237
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:00,780
Charles的脱脂白巧克力玛奇朵

238
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,210
我来接手

239
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:04,420
我可是用礼品卡换的呢

240
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:07,150
我真是 我特别想报复他

241
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,460
真希望我能把他手机扔到马桶里

242
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,960
或者削他轮胎 不知道咋办啊

243
00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:13,490
或者削他的漂亮喉咙

244
00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:15,090
我真的看不透你

245
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:17,200
我来请客喝酒

246
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,330
大家一起在这儿想报复计划

247
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:21,400
谁想到最棒的主意我就给谁50块钱

248
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,700
来吧

249
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:24,140
要不你就从医院给他打电话

250
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:26,000
说他全家都死了

251
00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,270
都得癌症死了

252
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:29,740
Charles 这个太阴暗了

253
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:31,080
我先写下来

254
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,450
我射击姿势好像还行

255
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,880
- 但我还是打不到中心  - 这样

256
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,950
左脚再后退一点儿

257
00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:39,280
这样吗

258
00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:42,090
不是 Gina 这个我们不是说过了吗

259
00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,420
你再教一遍

260
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:47,790
用你那厚实的肌肉大胳膊抱住我

261
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:48,890
好了 这样

262
00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:51,560
手放正 腰站直 抬起头

263
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,860
等下 我鼻子痒

264
00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:54,300
Gina

265
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,730
我拿枪的手臂放好了 另外一只手就不太稳

266
00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:58,440
我现在要怎么站

267
00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,800
韦佛式射击姿势还是等腰式射击姿势

268
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,540
你们还有射击姿势啊

269
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:02,670
是的 每个人都有射击姿势 Gina

270
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,680
听着 呃 好了好了

271
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,240
你们两个 都给我看着

272
00:10:09,550 --> 00:10:11,580
八枪 他做到了

273
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:13,020
那是七枪

274
00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:17,290
为什么要算我的得分

275
00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:19,090
你们是想让我重新拿到配枪资格吗

276
00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:20,720
是的

277
00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:22,360
如果你十枪有八枪中靶

278
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,360
我就能签字让你重新配枪

279
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,720
Gina就是公证人

280
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,100
我觉得这样一个无压力的环境

281
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,230
对你来说更好

282
00:10:28,230 --> 00:10:30,100
你居然骗我

283
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,530
你是一名优秀的警察 不应该天天坐在办公桌前

284
00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:36,410
再中一枪就能重新取得配枪资格

285
00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:39,610
深呼吸一下 好吧

286
00:10:39,610 --> 00:10:42,710
打出最后一发

287
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,820
别想太多

288
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:48,550
放松 呼吸

289
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,990
把空气送进肺里

290
00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:53,160
就像你这辈子一直做的那样

291
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,690
天啊

292
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,430
伙计们 你们怎么呼吸来着

293
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,060
我忘了怎么呼吸

294
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:04,530
是不是两进一出

295
00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:06,970
不然我们把他的摩托车用塑料布裹上

296
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,040
再用吹风机吹融它

297
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,710
我在礼物篮包装班学到的小妙招哦

298
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:13,880
好 目前为止有这么些主意

299
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:17,110
偷他肾 烧他房子

300
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,350
把他的芦荟面巾纸换成普通面巾纸

301
00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:20,680
- 谢谢Charles  - 不谢

302
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:22,720
往他的雪松木衣柜里放只死猫

303
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,390
前提是 他得有个雪松木衣柜

304
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:26,440
他看上去会有

305
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,730
溜进他的公寓然后用微波炉把爆米花爆焦

306
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,470
谢谢 Charles

307
00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:33,900
Scully要了份土豆泥

308
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,070
也写下来了

309
00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:37,610
虽然不想承认 但由于没得选

310
00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:39,600
Charles的摩托车方案胜出

311
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,010
耶 不战而胜

312
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,310
我们开干吧

313
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,980
有人知道秃鹰住哪儿吗

314
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,340
- 在第三街 就在附近  - 你怎么知道

315
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,210
出发吧 我们走

316
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,580
好

317
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:52,780
吃招吧 秃鹰

318
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,320
开始把它吹融吧

319
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,990
吹风机给我

320
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:57,620
- 啥  - 你在说啥

321
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,090
你包里没么

322
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,750
你以前没见过人类女性吗

323
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:03,690
四个街区外有个杂货店 我去买

324
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,160
不

325
00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,650
Scully跋涉四个街区

326
00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:09,400
要几周啊

327
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,840
呼

328
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,140
开枪 警长

329
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:14,570
给我一秒钟

330
00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:17,020
这都十八分钟了

331
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,080
Gina被窃的仿真警徽

332
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,170
为您效劳

333
00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:25,280
- 我是Peralta  - 嗨 Jake

334
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,280
你包里有带吹风机吗

335
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,120
当然有 我又不是动物

336
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:30,320
很好

337
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,660
你把它拿到秃鹰的公寓来吧

338
00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:34,020
还有人叫秃鹰啊

339
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:36,130
告诉Rose 她会很感兴趣的

340
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,490
够了

341
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,730
Peralta 你为什么在问Gina有关Pembroke警探的事

342
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,470
警监 你好

343
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:45,140
我们在给他准备一个算是礼物篮的东西

344
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,900
你们不太高兴 我理解

345
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,910
但如果你们不希望这种事再发生

346
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:51,040
我希望你们团队协作

347
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,780
在重案组插手前把案子了结

348
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,250
明白吗

349
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,380
是的 长官 完全明白

350
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:01,950
谢谢 长官

351
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,190
你应该愁眉苦脸啊

352
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,720
Jake为什么在笑 你为什么在笑

353
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,630
因为警监刚刚为我们提供了完美的复仇计划

354
00:13:09,630 --> 00:13:12,710
我们团结协作现在就把这个案子解决掉

355
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,160
他不是这个意思

356
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,400
想想看 Amy

357
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,070
我们去案发现场

358
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:19,240
找到凶器 打败秃鹰

359
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,470
只要我们解决了案子 没人会有事的

360
00:13:21,470 --> 00:13:23,470
管他呢 算上我

361
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,310
这就对了

362
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:27,270
我们很愤怒 我们要复仇

363
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:28,610
我们有点醉

364
00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:30,540
我们不能开车 我们坐公交

365
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,660
我喜欢公交

366
00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:38,840
服务生听到那对夫妻在晚餐的时候吵架

367
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,340
显然他有外遇

368
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,310
而且不是第一次

369
00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:44,740
两年前 她抓到他和遛狗的在一起

370
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,780
那人在遛他的狗 懂我意思吧

371
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:48,910
- 我懂  - 是吧

372
00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,250
- 我懂的  - 六次性生活

373
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,480
- 恩哼  - 总之就是他老婆干的

374
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,950
你需要我们帮忙的时候就变得很话唠

375
00:13:54,990 --> 00:13:57,590
好吧 也许

376
00:13:57,590 --> 00:13:59,860
我该早点带上你们

377
00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,520
但我就是好兴奋

378
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,460
完全沉浸在想要破案的心情里了

379
00:14:03,460 --> 00:14:05,560
我知道 你想要做到最好

380
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,500
我们都想

381
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:11,530
你只是没必要表现的像个蠢货一样

382
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:12,720
怎么

383
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,340
我只是没想到你会叫我蠢货

384
00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:15,910
- 闭嘴  - 太伤人了

385
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:23,350
Hitchcock放屁不止

386
00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:25,420
我还在等你开枪呢 警长

387
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:28,150
那个目标看着很像我的一个朋友嘛

388
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,490
搞得我很抓狂

389
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,820
你有朋友

390
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:33,160
- 只有个轮廓的吗  - 是啊

391
00:14:33,190 --> 00:14:35,190
我们一起数到一百万

392
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:36,660
一 二 三 四 五 六

393
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:39,930
所以冰人说"你随时可以做我的僚机"

394
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:42,530
- 然后Maverick说  - 我看过这电影 警长

395
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:44,230
我没看过 下面是什么

396
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,570
Goose回来了是不是 他其实没死

397
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,740
Goose走了

398
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:51,140
- 不是吧  - 我也觉得

399
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,910
当时是这样的

400
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,310
九点四十五分时 传来男人的尖叫声

401
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,980
九十秒后 他老婆去找门卫

402
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,780
说有人杀了她丈夫逃跑了

403
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,420
我们知道她在撒谎

404
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,890
我们只需要找到开瓶器

405
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:05,390
案件的元素就全了

406
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,930
不然我们重演一下场景 看看有没有灵感

407
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,760
亲爱的 晚餐太棒了 谢谢你

408
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,260
我们是不是上床之前再来一杯呢

409
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,670
别叫我亲爱的 你这风流鬼

410
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:17,130
不对 你扮丈夫 丈夫出的轨

411
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,700
我老是演受害人 我不想演受害人了

412
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:20,270
行 Charles演门

413
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,240
不 我演受害人 别让我再当门了

414
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:24,940
很好 那么 妻子翻了翻抽屉

415
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:28,510
拿了开瓶器 戳啊戳啊戳

416
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:30,080
然后她拿开瓶器怎么办呢

417
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:31,410
她扔进走廊的垃圾滑槽里了

418
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:32,620
就在去找门卫的路上

419
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:34,250
不 我们检查过垃圾很多遍了

420
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,920
带血的开瓶器我们是肯定能看见的

421
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,690
好吧 Hitchcock 你来

422
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,230
尸体

423
00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,530
开瓶器还在尸体里

424
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,340
不 你逊爆了 去坐着吧

425
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,560
你来 Diaz

426
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,530
我戳

427
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,230
然后我

428
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,640
把开瓶器扔出窗外了

429
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,940
然后落在了过路的车上

430
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:56,580
监视录像里那时候没有过路的车

431
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:57,540
街上也什么也没有

432
00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:00,580
我也想来 但是我只想戳你

433
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,880
好吧 Charles 门

434
00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:04,480
好

435
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:08,490
亲爱的

436
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,590
去死吧

437
00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:11,420
有点伤人啊

438
00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:14,260
如果是磁铁开瓶器呢

439
00:16:15,530 --> 00:16:17,890
如果开瓶器上面有磁铁

440
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:19,860
它落下去的时候吸在垃圾滑槽上了

441
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,200
我先想出来的

442
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,370
哇哦

443
00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:23,830
发生了什么

444
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,700
你包里有个十磅重的电筒

445
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,170
没吹风机

446
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,010
太深了 我看不见

447
00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:31,480
得有人下去

448
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,940
肩膀窄的人

449
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:35,480
不 我肩膀宽

450
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:39,150
我臀窄肩宽

451
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:41,150
天啊

452
00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:42,450
看见什么没

453
00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:44,150
再低点

454
00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:46,520
不许动 手举起来

455
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,790
啊

456
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:49,530
- 我们是警察  - 肩膀宽

457
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,560
卡住了 跟你们说了 我肩膀宽

458
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,300
显然我们的警探小队喝大了

459
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,770
破坏了案发现场

460
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:59,300
还有一名警官卡在了垃圾滑槽里

461
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,600
我要你管住这只小队 Terry

462
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,870
我是说真的 管住

463
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,010
我希望你能打出这一枪

464
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:10,110
你管的是个什么片区

465
00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:11,410
能请你坐下吗 警探

466
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,420
- 你看上去很生气  - 那是 我很生气

467
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,890
你的小队破坏了案发现场

468
00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:19,520
而且他们是没有管辖权的 完全没有

469
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,790
他们喝醉了

470
00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,390
其中一个显然按了

471
00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:24,660
电梯上所有的按钮

472
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:26,360
当然 说不定只是撞到按钮面板上了

473
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:27,500
他的大白屁股撞上去了

474
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,870
现在咋办 Holt会杀了你的

475
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,200
我觉得他不会

476
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,640
因为

477
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:33,500
看

478
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,070
你真的在滑槽里找到开瓶器了

479
00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:38,780
吸在上面了 跟你说的一样

480
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:41,850
Boyle 我们把你拉出来

481
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,220
这是我职业生涯最自豪的一刻

482
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:50,520
啊

483
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,860
天呐 伙计们 我们战胜了秃鹰

484
00:17:55,730 --> 00:17:56,730
这是什么鬼

485
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,160
这是秃鹰

486
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,230
你们没别的事儿的话

487
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,600
我要把开瓶器 送到检查官那儿去了

488
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,240
是我们抓到了人 不是重案组

489
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,810
Peralta 过来

490
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,880
好吧

491
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,550
- 在你发火之前  - 闭嘴

492
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,610
Holt说的对

493
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:15,880
我太担心自己的小孩

494
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,920
忘了我还有蠢货大孩子

495
00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:19,420
这话有点过分了

496
00:18:19,450 --> 00:18:20,950
我应该多看着你们些

497
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:23,660
从现在开始 我会的

498
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:26,020
如果你们还敢再犯

499
00:18:26,030 --> 00:18:28,760
我发誓我会单手打爆你的头

500
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,430
- 开玩笑的吧  - 试试看

501
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:32,060
好吧

502
00:18:33,470 --> 00:18:35,230
你去哪儿

503
00:18:35,270 --> 00:18:36,330
老大在挨骂

504
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,370
而且这根本不是他的错

505
00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:40,070
我不能容忍这种事

506
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,570
等等 该死

507
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,210
这也不是你的错

508
00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:49,380
也不是秃鹰的错

509
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:50,650
是Amy的

510
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,020
好吧好吧 是我的

511
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,620
是我的 行了吧

512
00:18:53,620 --> 00:18:56,220
真烦人

513
00:18:57,990 --> 00:18:59,790
Pembroke警探

514
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:00,860
干嘛

515
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,930
我诚恳地希望你冷静下来

516
00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:04,330
尤其是考虑到

517
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,470
此案已经

518
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:07,470
由你侦破

519
00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:10,390
你找到了凶器

520
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,840
你发现它由于磁力就贴在

521
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,210
垃圾滑槽的内壁上

522
00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:16,180
恭喜啊

523
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:19,550
完全由你侦破

524
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:20,880
我们完事儿了吧

525
00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:26,390
恩 我们完事儿了

526
00:19:27,030 --> 00:19:29,630
干的真差 还请继续 小冠军

527
00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:32,260
又来了

528
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:34,480
他干嘛老是碰我屁股

529
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,630
- 请保持媚劲儿  - 请孤独终老

530
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:41,370
结案了 大伙儿干得不错

531
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:43,710
我想我们今晚就不必再进一步讨论了吧

532
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:45,140
错

533
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,680
你们都闯进了案发现场

534
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,310
在酒精的影响下

535
00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:51,150
逾越了你们的管辖范围 还违背了我的直接指示

536
00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:53,510
参与此事的所有人都要记录在案

537
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:55,020
好吧

538
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,090
所有人都在这儿了

539
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:59,520
Jake Peralta J. Peralta

540
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,190
Jacob Peralta博士

541
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:03,260
慢摇博士学位

542
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,290
放克州立大学

543
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:08,660
- 参与的还有尊敬的J  - 够了

544
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,870
我想说的是 这是Peralta独家 长官

545
00:20:10,870 --> 00:20:12,070
没别人参与了

546
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:14,770
警探 我很高兴看到

547
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:17,410
你在学习如何成为团队的一员

548
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,980
都回家去吧 好好睡一觉

549
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,180
长官 谢谢你

550
00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:27,780
最后 是我们狂野的性化学反应

551
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,820
帮他战胜了强烈的恐惧

552
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:33,150
你就每天都整天坐在办公室里

553
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,590
做我闺蜜吧

554
00:20:35,590 --> 00:20:38,590
你可以加入我的舞蹈团 在地板上挥洒我们的体液

555
00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:41,060
我们正在寻找完全和你

556
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,430
道路会很漫长

557
00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:46,530
但我准备好回到前线了

558
00:20:46,570 --> 00:20:47,640
我知道你会的

559
00:20:47,670 --> 00:20:49,900
我是说 最后一定会

560
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:52,110
不是今晚

561
00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:53,870
我得回去抱抱我的宝贝女儿

562
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,180
不好意思

563
00:20:57,950 --> 00:20:59,750
Jake 我得说 你昨天处理

564
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,750
秃鹰那事儿的时候表现的很成熟

565
00:21:01,780 --> 00:21:03,420
在生活中 有时候

566
00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,450
你不得不站在道德制高点

567
00:21:05,450 --> 00:21:07,050
时间到了

568
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,960
- 等不及要看了 - 来吧

569
00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:10,930
- 吸附力真强  - 嗷

570
00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,430
噢

571
00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:13,560
看看

572
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,230
- 简直完美  - 没错

573
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:18,900
"亲爱的秃鹰

574
00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:22,970
"请享用我的大白屁股

575
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,240
Jake"

576
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,870
好了

577
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,540
永远要站在道德制高点 Charles

578
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:28,880
永远站在道德制高点