1
00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:03,850
哇 哇 哇

2
00:00:03,850 --> 00:00:05,080
小心点

3
00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:06,750
抱歉 警长

4
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:09,860
我最讨厌万圣节了

5
00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:11,860
每个人都醉醺醺的 戴着面具

6
00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:13,560
揣把假枪

7
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,660
而且所有女孩都要性感打扮

8
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,450
是啊 这是最讨厌的 让她们别这样了

9
00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:20,170
我在路上看到一个人穿得像棵发骚的树

10
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:21,970
谁会对一棵树有性致啊

11
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:23,300
是枫树吗

12
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,770
是枫树吗

13
00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:26,800
各位 早上好

14
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,630
- 圣装很酷吧  - 圣装

15
00:00:28,630 --> 00:00:30,090
万圣节服装的简称

16
00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:33,340
好吧 我猜猜 你是矮胖版Chuck Norris

17
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,360
- 不 我是  - 矮胖版罗恩韦斯莱

18
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:35,950
不是

19
00:00:35,950 --> 00:00:37,420
你们别猜了

20
00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:39,150
他这身打扮相当考究

21
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,490
显然是里的Miranda嘛

22
00:00:41,490 --> 00:00:43,090
拜托 我是Mario Batali

23
00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:45,620
"非凡的Mario" 那个名厨

24
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:47,190
小意大利的生姜王子

25
00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:49,170
他还是一个无家可归的丑娃娃吗

26
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:50,700
因为你看起来就是一个无家可归的丑娃娃

27
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,600
很赞的Batali大厨装嘛

28
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,510
谢谢

29
00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:55,730
他真有品位啊

30
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:59,140
他在WNBA比赛时咬掉了一个人的屁股

31
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,370
你是里的Eric Stoltz

32
00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:02,110
勉强接受

33
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,280
希望你们都休息够了

34
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,440
今晚将是一个多事之夜

35
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,250
拘留所里已经人满为患了

36
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:10,230
我一直忙着把希拉里和金正恩分开

37
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:12,620
停下 不要亲热了

38
00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:15,390
住手 想想你的克林顿

39
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,540
我们还要派两个便衣

40
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,390
去迪卡尔布街的仓库派对

41
00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:21,280
Boyle 你已经装扮好了 你是

42
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,110
Joy Behar

43
00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:23,590
是Mario Batali

44
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好吧 还有 Santiago

45
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:26,900
你和他一起去

46
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是 警官 靠 真倒霉

47
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Santiago 我知道你恨万圣节

48
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,680
但是跟着我 我保证

49
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你会爱上它的

50
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,140
你能施个魔法 让所有人友善 不喝酒

51
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穿严实点吗

52
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,080
"友善 不喝酒 穿着严实"

53
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,440
好消息 各位 我们找到

54
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Santiago性爱录像带的名字了

55
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,100
神烦警探 
第一季 第六集

56
00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,270
注意注意了 呆子们

57
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:09,740
我刚刚抓到了本季度第一个万圣白痴

58
00:02:09,740 --> 00:02:11,110
他想要抢银行

59
00:02:11,110 --> 00:02:13,140
但是逃跑时遇到了点麻烦

60
00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,680
想要"裂开"哈

61
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,480
别担心 我相信你会"被剥皮"(上诉)的

62
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,820
看你卡着真好笑

63
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:21,320
我碰到过无数次了

64
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,260
不 不 不要碰那些钱

65
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,990
这些罪犯太蠢了

66
00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:26,650
我要犯罪一定比他们强多了

67
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:28,410
绝对的 邪恶智多星

68
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:30,520
所有人都会叫你英俊大盗

69
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,340
谢了 Charles 而且最棒的是

70
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:35,110
- 你们都抓不到我  - 不是吧

71
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我很肯定你会被逮住

72
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,160
不对

73
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,460
我是百分之百确定你会被逮住

74
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吼 吼 吼

75
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好 接受挑战

76
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,470
我不是在发出挑战

77
00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:45,680
好 那我帮你发出挑战

78
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,770
你办公室里最值钱的是什么

79
00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:49,340
我的英勇奖牌

80
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,270
真是个英雄啊你

81
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:52,970
好吧 我和你打赌

82
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:54,640
今晚十二点之前

83
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,780
我可以把你的奖牌偷走

84
00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,180
我为什么要和你打这个赌

85
00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:01,410
如果我输了 接下来五个周末都来加班 不要加班费

86
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,810
而且我不会告诉别人

87
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,420
有一次下班之后 我看见你穿了一条超短裤

88
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:06,750
- 但是如果我赢了  - 你不会赢

89
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:08,320
今晚 你要帮我做所有的文书工作

90
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,590
在这个一年中最忙 最吓人的晚上

91
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:14,130
你还要公开宣布

92
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:18,130
我是一个了不起的天才警探

93
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,300
这个赌不会妨碍你的正常工作吧

94
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:24,000
你是说我作为天才警探的工作

95
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,500
不 不会 我会做好所有工作 我保证

96
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,140
我考虑一下

97
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:29,440
挺感兴趣

98
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,380
好 我同意了

99
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:34,510
这才是我爱的警官大人嘛

100
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:35,850
喂

101
00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:37,520
Steve修女被抢劫了

102
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,980
一个打扮成皇家宝宝的人揍了他

103
00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:41,120
抢走了他的钱包

104
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,430
她一直嘲笑我

105
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,720
你不知道在天主教学校

106
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,290
有多少个我想痛扁的修女

107
00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,690
十个

108
00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:47,980
我不知道你还去过天主教学校

109
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:49,550
很好 你不该知道

110
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:53,030
我明白 你这么神秘 剽悍

111
00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:54,520
但是你知道我怎么想吗

112
00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,200
你实际上是个内心柔软的人

113
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,730
不 我觉得她是真刻薄

114
00:03:57,740 --> 00:03:59,200
你会在毕业时读Maya Angelou的诗歌

115
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,060
然后默默流泪

116
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:02,740
没毕业 退学了

117
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:04,070
为什么 你做了什么

118
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,840
看我口型

119
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,410
告诉你才怪

120
00:04:08,410 --> 00:04:11,320
我会自己找到答案的

121
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,550
我是个警探

122
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我会调查的

123
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,420
嘿

124
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把这些逮捕记录给警监

125
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,560
又醉又乱七八糟的

126
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,460
呃 然后

127
00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:22,860
Gina

128
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:24,330
我们好久没聊了

129
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:25,960
舞蹈团怎么样了 你剪了头发吗

130
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,360
警监今天的日程安排是什么

131
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,300
我不会帮你偷东西的 Jake

132
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:32,640
我是他的助理 我把这份工作看得非常重要

133
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,480
你正在用警察报告折纸飞机好吧

134
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,080
不然我要怎样把它扔到垃圾桶里呢

135
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,040
拜托啦

136
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,610
好吧 十分钟后

137
00:04:40,610 --> 00:04:42,550
警监在楼下有个会要开

138
00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:45,380
你最好了 亲一个

139
00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,270
你的脸怎么有味道

140
00:04:46,270 --> 00:04:48,890
Dina Lohan 我搽了她出的乳液

141
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,720
没错 就是这个味

142
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,560
谢谢

143
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,490
派对就在那边

144
00:04:54,530 --> 00:04:56,890
线人说这里会有大量毒品交易

145
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,300
这衣服怎么这么硬啊

146
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,270
什么味儿啊

147
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:03,070
这衣服没洗过 可能是呕吐物吧

148
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,300
嘿

149
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,400
给你个巧克力

150
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,110
万圣节的另一大亮点 巧克力噢

151
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:11,110
谢谢 你看

152
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:13,340
破烂娃娃直接拿着酒瓶喝伏特加了

153
00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,980
人们总是觉得穿着万圣节服装

154
00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:17,480
就能随心所欲

155
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,520
万圣节就是混蛋的圣诞节

156
00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:22,620
小姐 不准携带已开瓶的酒

157
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:25,540
我为啥要听你的呢 骨头人

158
00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:29,250
这叫骨骼 这词谁都会好吗

159
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,850
把酒拿开

160
00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:31,900
你们是警察

161
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,400
他们是警察

162
00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:44,480
Peralta 你在我天花板上吗

163
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,240
不在

164
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,680
这就是你的计划吗

165
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,980
等我离开办公室

166
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,740
你再下来 拿走我的勋章

167
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:51,580
然后就赢了

168
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:52,850
你在跟谁说话

169
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:53,950
这上头没人

170
00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:56,250
Peralta 我告诉你

171
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:58,920
现在 我把勋章从墙上取下来

172
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,930
放到保险箱里

173
00:06:00,930 --> 00:06:03,290
密码只有我知道

174
00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:04,730
这个保险箱

175
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,330
又是锁在柜子里的

176
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,770
开柜子的唯一一把钥匙 在我身上

177
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,350
我现在去开会了 祝你好运

178
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:14,980
你以为这就能吓到我吗

179
00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:18,680
面对逆境我也淡然一笑

180
00:06:18,710 --> 00:06:19,920
你还在吗

181
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,810
警监 你还在吗 我听不到

182
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,320
啊

183
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,110
嗷

184
00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:29,740
交给你

185
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,380
别碰黄油

186
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:35,210
怎么了 我以为你们去了那个仓库派对呢

187
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,580
我们被扔鸡蛋了

188
00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:38,280
还有一些蛋壳砸到我隐形眼镜里了

189
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:40,850
还有我的头发 我的嘴 我的胸罩

190
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:42,120
这算不算性感呢

191
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,160
不算 胸罩里有蛋壳一点儿也不性感

192
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,890
还是有点性感啦

193
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:49,060
奶子挤在胸罩里 击掌

194
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,230
好兄弟

195
00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:53,300
万圣节服装任务进展得蛮顺利嘛

196
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:55,820
太顺利了 我们在一起超开心 是吧 Amy

197
00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:57,490
我希望我死了

198
00:06:57,490 --> 00:06:59,010
无法取胜的赌怎么样了

199
00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:00,740
一方面我从天花板上掉下来了

200
00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:02,570
还落到一支铅笔上 另一方面呢

201
00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:04,280
我脑袋也狠狠地撞了一下

202
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,640
如果你想和Holt打赌

203
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:06,980
就赌个你能赢的啊

204
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:08,610
比如说谁经常穿牛仔夹克

205
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:10,250
我就穿过一次

206
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,920
你们怎么什么都记得

207
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,250
说实话 我有点惊讶

208
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,720
你居然觉得我赢不了

209
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,390
你们总是跟我说我是最棒的

210
00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:18,490
Jake 你是最棒的

211
00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:20,220
送文件咯

212
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:21,530
Jake 你是最棒的

213
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,500
Jake 你是最棒的

214
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,260
谢谢 Charles

215
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,800
可能就Charles吧

216
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,630
Jake 是这样

217
00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,360
- 我当你是我女儿一样爱你  - 真的吗

218
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,910
但这跟你 和你有多聪明没关系

219
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,360
这可是Holt警监

220
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,710
他是个天才

221
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,240
他对你了如指掌

222
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,410
这天 这回 这次他赢不了

223
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:44,120
不好意思 我刚才肯定摔成脑震荡了

224
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,880
- 要倒了  - 好吧

225
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,320
噢 好强壮

226
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:52,960
这是我找到的第一组皇家宝宝

227
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,190
热门服装

228
00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:55,460
有眼熟的吗

229
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:57,000
第三个吧

230
00:07:57,030 --> 00:07:58,600
抢我的宝宝很矮

231
00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:01,130
你不应该取笑我

232
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,350
三号

233
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:05,640
向前一步说 "把钱给我 你个蠢货屎球"

234
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,270
把钱给我 你个蠢货屎球

235
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:09,580
不是这个大宝宝

236
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:12,710
我还是想知道你是怎么被天主教学校开除的

237
00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:14,280
你吸毒吗

238
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,120
- 更糟  - 贩毒吗

239
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,450
- 更糟  - 还能有多糟

240
00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:23,160
你放火烧了一座教堂吗

241
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:27,330
三号 上前一步说 "更糟"

242
00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:28,860
更糟

243
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:31,460
不好意思 Gina

244
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:32,850
我怎么都找不到Peralta

245
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,840
只有你能看得懂他的字

246
00:08:34,870 --> 00:08:37,500
他逮捕了那只兔子 但我不知道罪名是什么

247
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,510
他要么是一只脆皮狼人妈妈

248
00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:43,380
要么是从挪威奥斯陆来的芥末牛仔

249
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,010
这只兔子在地铁上猥亵了很多女人

250
00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:50,550
能看懂Jake的字迹是种天赋

251
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,330
没用的天赋

252
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:56,690
等我一下

253
00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:58,820
衣服不错啊 Peralta

254
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,660
这没有叫Peralta的

255
00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:04,230
就是一个普通的清洁工收拾垃圾

256
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:05,930
出来

257
00:09:07,570 --> 00:09:08,840
警监 你好啊

258
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,380
你真觉得这样能行吗

259
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,940
能行啊

260
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:13,210
这个清洁工的败局

261
00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:15,010
是刻意而为的

262
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:16,280
就像下国际象棋一样

263
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,710
有时候想要赢

264
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,210
得牺牲你的国王

265
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,240
然后你就输了

266
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,250
你下过象棋吗

267
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,150
当然了 我以前经常和Bob叔叔一起玩儿的

268
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,520
他说我很棒

269
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,720
Jake 这个游戏要求全神贯注

270
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,760
所以集中精力 开始射击吧

271
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,930
现在你是象棋大师了

272
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,520
他还教我怎么射倒双陆棋呢

273
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,700
我对你的期望远不止这些

274
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,150
你本来可以声东击西

275
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:42,940
让我注意不到你的烂伪装

276
00:09:42,970 --> 00:09:44,800
我又不是傻子

277
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,140
我有计划转移你注意力的

278
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:48,970
只不过时间没卡准

279
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:50,440
天呐

280
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,610
大家都趴下 起火了

281
00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:54,350
警监 你最好过去看个

282
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,720
大概15分钟 看看发生什么了

283
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,720
小心逆行气流 我会在你办公室里

284
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,290
你的眼睛真好看

285
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:05,560
随你的便

286
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,460
但你需要这个

287
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:09,730
还有这个

288
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,460
天花板上蛮多垃圾的

289
00:10:18,140 --> 00:10:19,970
Amy 放松点啊

290
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,270
一看你就是个警察

291
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:23,780
来啊 来玩嘛

292
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:26,080
这样才能混进人群里啊

293
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,350
哇

294
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,950
别再想让我爱上万圣节了

295
00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:31,580
没用的

296
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:32,850
我来磨一磨

297
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:34,610
天啊 别

298
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:37,480
看那边

299
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,370
- 我去出口截他们  - 好

300
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:42,160
让开 让开

301
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,600
他把货扔了 我去捡

302
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,030
啊

303
00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:48,670
恶 全都黏我身上了

304
00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:50,790
噢 好吧

305
00:10:50,790 --> 00:10:53,940
- 哎呀 找到了  - 小心点啊

306
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:55,940
这是啥

307
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:58,120
怎么又冷又热的

308
00:11:00,210 --> 00:11:03,220
最快要周一才能把天花板修好

309
00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:12,490
我等下再打给你

310
00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:13,960
别抓我了

311
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,160
我们是队友

312
00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,860
咳咳

313
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,230
警监 你好

314
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,510
我在复印东西呢

315
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,890
你是打算把鸽子塞进我的空调通风口里

316
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,170
好把我弄出办公室吗

317
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,170
真会扫兴

318
00:11:26,210 --> 00:11:28,570
- 你怎么弄来的鸟  - 靠我的大胖脑子

319
00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,340
到袋子里来 该死的鸟

320
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,580
吃面包啊 来吃面包啊

321
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,180
抓到了 抓到了

322
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:36,050
这都是我击败你的周密计划的一部分

323
00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:40,320
目前为止 你和你的大胖脑子都输得很惨

324
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,550
可能吧 说到我们打的赌的话

325
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,990
但要比谁拿的鸟多

326
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:46,960
我赢了 四比零

327
00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:50,030
你手里只有两只

328
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:51,360
好吧

329
00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:57,210
你刚才上缴毒品的时候

330
00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:58,780
错过了超赞的东西

331
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:01,340
有个穿着全套宇航员衣服的人

332
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:02,600
跟我击掌了

333
00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:04,340
他也跟我击掌了

334
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,070
等等 Hitchcock

335
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:06,890
靠

336
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:08,840
我不该说话的 可是我好激动

337
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,110
那宇航员真的好赞

338
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,240
怎么回事

339
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,080
Amy给我五十块钱

340
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,350
让我跟她交换

341
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:15,720
- 真的  - 是的

342
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:18,750
我要用这钱买两套西装

343
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,120
本来想让你告诉警监

344
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:25,450
我把Diaz的皇家宝宝抓回来了

345
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,490
但他肯定已经知道了

346
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,140
因为他总是先我一步

347
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:28,960
噢

348
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,670
怎么这么情绪低落啊 小小丑

349
00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,930
我受够一直输给Holt了

350
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,130
我想要那块奖章

351
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,600
不是真金的

352
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,910
我想在网上卖掉来着 没人出价

353
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,310
我在"舞死方休"联赛的时候

354
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:41,660
给过舞蹈队的女孩们一点建议

355
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,980
就是 跳吧 跳吧

356
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,650
跳吧

357
00:12:46,650 --> 00:12:48,870
我觉得用在这里不太合适吧 Gina

358
00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:51,770
当然合适 意思就是 不要放弃

359
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:54,220
要不是Natasha的羊水破了 肯定是我们赢

360
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:56,460
- Natasha生孩子了  - 你认识Natasha

361
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:57,390
- 是啊  - 是

362
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:58,660
她的狗有狼疮

363
00:12:58,660 --> 00:13:00,460
- 哇  - 真神奇

364
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,460
- 世界真小  - 没错

365
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,970
行 我去哭一会儿

366
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:09,140
我有点同情他耶

367
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,150
不要

368
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,070
他自找的

369
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:13,330
你可以挂了

370
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,310
你宁愿花钱都不愿意和我一起工作么

371
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:20,380
Charles 我被逼的 今晚太可怕了

372
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:23,180
万圣节烂透了 而且我不明白

373
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:24,550
为什么你会喜欢

374
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:26,920
你以为万圣节烂的地方

375
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,360
恰恰是万圣节赞的地方好吗

376
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,860
那些大孩子朝你们扔鸡蛋

377
00:13:29,860 --> 00:13:32,730
你和你的朋友一起逃跑

378
00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:37,100
万圣节这口灾难的坩埚炼成了我们的友谊

379
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:39,970
这就是我想要的

380
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,080
假发你留着吧 我用不着了

381
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:47,940
我也用不着啊

382
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:49,280
Holt警监

383
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,460
你能出来一下吗

384
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,890
- 你有事吗 Peralta  - 是的

385
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,930
上把 皇家宝宝们

386
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,560
不是吧

387
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,170
钥匙给我

388
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:19,370
你就不能不来抓我吗

389
00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:21,710
你知道这钥匙链花了我多少钱吗

390
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:23,080
二十三块

391
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,820
这也太准了吧

392
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,080
二十二块七毛六

393
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,720
- 钥匙  - 好吧

394
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,150
今晚让我颇为丢脸

395
00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:31,330
事情都有点不太顺利

396
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,220
我就直说了吧

397
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:34,660
我们取消赌约怎么样

398
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,060
假装什么都没发生过

399
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:37,560
我可不会放过你

400
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:38,660
啥 不是吧

401
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:42,130
我这是给你台阶下 让你保住颜面

402
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,100
有点可悲啊

403
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,870
没错 对你来说

404
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,790
所以呢

405
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,740
我联系了你的学校

406
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:55,580
找到了一位叫做Bernadette的修女

407
00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:58,080
我还记得那个老家伙 我最喜欢的就是她

408
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,410
你猜她怎么说

409
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,580
你是个模范学生

410
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:04,650
是你自愿转学的

411
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,260
好吧

412
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:09,690
我离开天主教学校的原因

413
00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:11,890
是因为我进了美国芭蕾舞学院

414
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:13,930
我曾是个古典舞蹈演员

415
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,430
而且跳的很好

416
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:16,700
我就知道

417
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,470
我就知道你其实是软肠子

418
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,370
你敢告诉别人 我就打烂你的脸

419
00:15:24,110 --> 00:15:27,870
不 不会的 你太感性了

420
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,580
警监 打扰一下

421
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:33,850
有警官逮捕了Peralta

422
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,260
- 啊  - 他们抓到他

423
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:37,150
手持喷灯攀爬建筑物

424
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,120
警监

425
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,760
欢迎来到游戏的终盘

426
00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:48,160
你愿意和这个打败了你的男人握手吗

427
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,170
忘了我带着手铐了 好疼

428
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,600
嗷

429
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,870
拿着喷灯攀爬建筑物

430
00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:58,760
你在想什么

431
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,810
我在想 我核心肌肉真强

432
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:02,190
我爬了十英尺才开始喘呢

433
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:03,810
我知道 这个赌你是赢不了了

434
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:05,250
但是你今晚的表现让我产生了疑问

435
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:06,710
不仅是作为侦探你有多优秀

436
00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,850
而是你到底有多"聪明"

437
00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,150
一点也不惊讶 你老是低估我

438
00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:15,260
没有 我可没看走眼

439
00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:17,690
离期限还有五分钟

440
00:16:17,690 --> 00:16:19,660
你却坐在这里 双手被铐

441
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,030
房间被锁

442
00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:25,030
这正是我所精心策划的

443
00:16:25,030 --> 00:16:26,730
警监 让我来给你讲个小故事吧

444
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,570
还记得我从天花板摔下来吗

445
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,670
记得 六小时前

446
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:32,610
是的 我承认 失败得一塌糊涂

447
00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,940
但是却给了我Herman的灵感

448
00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:36,410
你遇见的那个友善的清洁工

449
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,410
有了Herman相助 我开始了完美的犯罪计划

450
00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:41,650
你假扮Herman的时候被我抓住了

451
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,080
但是你没有抓住Rosa

452
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,720
出来

453
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,400
事实证明Rosa很擅长撬锁

454
00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:54,060
- 我还真不诧异  - 我也不

455
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:55,930
当然 我得在你发现之前

456
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,300
把她从办公室弄出来

457
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,230
所以我声东击西

458
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,390
时机正好 分秒不差

459
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:03,740
她就趁你不注意溜了

460
00:17:03,770 --> 00:17:05,040
鸽子怎么回事

461
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,540
那些灰鸽子吗

462
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:08,340
只是为了转移你注意力 谢谢

463
00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:10,380
它们的唯一作用就是吸引你到复印室来

464
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:12,840
与此同时我的两名队友正侵入你上锁的办公室

465
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,580
所以现在我有了进入你办公室的通道

466
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:18,220
打开了柜子

467
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:20,050
剩下的 就是让那些皇家宝宝

468
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:21,460
偷你的钥匙了

469
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,420
是的 但是你不需要钥匙

470
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,190
柜子已经开了

471
00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:26,560
你要的是开保险箱的方式

472
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,100
我搞到了啊

473
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,090
你太在意拿回你的钥匙

474
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,830
所以你根本没注意到警长偷了你的手机

475
00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:35,270
没错 连警长都是我这边的

476
00:17:35,270 --> 00:17:37,440
然后我让Charles利用粉尘 从你的屏幕上获取指纹

477
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,110
最油腻的污渍揭示了你

478
00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,770
最常用的四个数字

479
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,910
组成你密码的四个数字

480
00:17:42,910 --> 00:17:44,610
基于你都这把年纪了

481
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:46,910
我猜测你所有东西都是同样的密码

482
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,080
你的手机 你的电子邮件 当然 还有

483
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,350
你的保险箱

484
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:52,580
很靠谱的假设

485
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:54,490
就在这个时刻我无意间碰到了一个

486
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,490
扮成性感机器人的女孩 我们调情了一番 很激烈

487
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,600
嗨

488
00:18:01,630 --> 00:18:04,580
- 嗨  - Jake Peralta

489
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,470
调情这部分在计划中是干嘛的

490
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,640
这不是计划 只是锦上添花而已

491
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,200
那么让我们回到五分钟前

492
00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:12,510
当Amy到你办公室 告诉你

493
00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:13,940
我被捕了

494
00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,310
我知道 她是唯一你会相信的人

495
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:17,180
因为 老实说 她通常都太逊了

496
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,750
不可能参与这样的行动

497
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:20,710
在你走过来的时候

498
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,280
Charles正笨拙的把自己从窗户塞进去

499
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,740
打开你的保险箱

500
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,880
我们有你密码的四个数字

501
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,990
意味着Charles需要尝试24种可能的组合

502
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,110
这差不多得花四分钟

503
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,480
也就是为什么我慢悠悠地给你解释这一切

504
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:34,730
真的很详细地解释 不知道你注意到了没

505
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,300
但是有很多次 像是我说

506
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,230
我在说什么呢 这不是

507
00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:39,770
喔

508
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,540
但是现在 四分钟到了

509
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:45,000
意味着 不是Boyle正在门的另一边

510
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:45,940
拿着你的勋章

511
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:49,040
就是我输了

512
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,720
看吧 警监

513
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:55,370
看来Jake不是唯一你低估的

514
00:18:55,370 --> 00:18:59,650
还有20秒 游戏结束 警监

515
00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:00,850
将我

516
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,390
我想你是说 将军

517
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:03,890
你真的得好好学学国际象棋了

518
00:19:03,890 --> 00:19:05,800
你是怎么让大家都帮你的

519
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,160
我举行了一场令莎士比亚都为之汗颜的演讲

520
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,660
唤起了他们的团队之情 同志之爱

521
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:11,930
太久了

522
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:14,770
我们被欺压 被嘲笑

523
00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:16,670
被强迫戴上领带

524
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:17,900
但是不会再有了

525
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:19,210
因为今天

526
00:19:19,210 --> 00:19:21,210
我们要战胜他

527
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,820
- 有用吗  - 没 完全没用

528
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,910
我的演讲没有激励到他们

529
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:27,980
所以 我贿赂他们了

530
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,440
我告诉他们 要是我们赢了这一局

531
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,050
我会做掉他们全部的文书工作

532
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:33,690
既然你输了就要做掉我的全部文书工作

533
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:35,520
令人印象深刻 Peralta

534
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,860
干得不错

535
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:38,390
谢谢 长官

536
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:41,700
事实上 警监 您没发现的是

537
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,730
- 团队精神 正是  - 警监

538
00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:45,730
- 我们成功的原因  - 长官

539
00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:48,700
他不会回来了

540
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:51,740
Boyle 我要你到会议室来一趟

541
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,200
这是什么情况

542
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,240
你知道我觉得万圣节都是给混蛋过的

543
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,220
这个万圣节 我就是个混蛋

544
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:04,950
今晚真是抱歉

545
00:20:04,950 --> 00:20:06,290
"今晚真是抱歉"

546
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:09,820
我们找到Santiago第二个性爱录影带的名字了

547
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:11,900
抱歉我没能说服你们热爱万圣节

548
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,830
不是你的错 是我太糟糕了

549
00:20:13,830 --> 00:20:15,100
"不是你的错 是我太糟糕了"

550
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,630
是你的另一个性爱录影带

551
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:17,930
嗷

552
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:20,270
万圣节令人无法忍受

553
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:23,270
但是和你在一起 就变得不那么无法忍受了

554
00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:24,600
- 闭嘴  - 好吧

555
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,210
不管怎样

556
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,780
我们要去酒吧了 所以你赶紧换衣服

557
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,580
因为可不能就你一个

558
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:32,510
不穿圣装

559
00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:34,750
圣装 天啊 流行起来了

560
00:20:34,780 --> 00:20:36,580
不

561
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:41,290
Holt警监 见到你真好

562
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,790
没想到我会这么说

563
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,930
可怜的胜利者 我也没料到

564
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:45,790
你应该料到的

565
00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:47,960
你这身服装还真用心啊

566
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,430
我想你一定有一番肺腑之言要说

567
00:20:49,430 --> 00:20:52,430
来给你腾个地方

568
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:55,440
大家 注意一下

569
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,940
Jake Peralta是一位超炫的侦探兼天才

570
00:20:59,970 --> 00:21:02,010
现在 抱歉

571
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:05,150
我有些文书工作要做

572
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:07,550
好吧

573
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:09,740
92片区的警官逮住了那个皇家宝宝抢劫犯

574
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:11,890
他尿布里有19个钱包

575
00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:13,700
嫌犯逃跑

576
00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:16,570
哇

577
00:21:16,570 --> 00:21:19,040
厉害啊

578
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,960
之前没告诉你

579
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,360
我被踢出芭蕾学院是因为

580
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,640
把那帮芭蕾舞女演员打得爹妈都不认识了

581
00:21:26,690 --> 00:21:28,800
对亏了我们给他们提醒

582
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,890
团结就是力量 99区加油