1
00:00:01,290 --> 00:00:03,580
这个太棒了 真的太棒了

2
00:00:03,580 --> 00:00:05,100
真的真的太棒了

3
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:05,990
你在说什么啊

4
00:00:05,990 --> 00:00:07,610
服务器中病毒了

5
00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:08,790
我们每个人都收到一封邮件

6
00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:10,210
里头有每个人的搜索记录

7
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,210
看这个 Jeffords警长搜索了

8
00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:14,130
"未被发现的肌肉"

9
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,770
我那天在锻炼 然后看到肩膀上

10
00:00:16,770 --> 00:00:18,120
有一块从没见过的肌肉

11
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,260
我还想着也许是个科学发现呢

12
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:24,780
听听Scully搜索的 "每卡路里中有多少软糖"

13
00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:27,160
没找到答案 但这是个好问题

14
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:28,990
Boyle搜索了 "如何制作办公桌酸奶"

15
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,440
是的 而且我很高兴找到了答案

16
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,200
不过这罐子太热了

17
00:00:34,230 --> 00:00:36,230
真恶心 Amy搜索了

18
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,310
"Daniel Craig的手" "特写"

19
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,370
你好意思说

20
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,930
你搜索了"最便宜约会"

21
00:00:43,930 --> 00:00:46,070
这条搜索乃是我的荣誉勋章

22
00:00:46,070 --> 00:00:48,310
吃晚饭吧

23
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:50,700
来吧

24
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:52,180
你想吃点甜的吗

25
00:00:52,210 --> 00:00:54,080
还是咸的

26
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,110
苹果派 我卡住了

27
00:00:56,110 --> 00:00:58,180
我卡住了

28
00:00:58,340 --> 00:00:59,800
神烦警探
第一季 第九集

29
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:26,070
我是Peralta Sal 你好 有何贵干

30
00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:29,770
天呐 我们马上到

31
00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:31,700
Boyle

32
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,710
不

33
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,620
Sal的披萨店居然就这么没了

34
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,080
他家是经典啊

35
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:41,780
他家的披萨是这一片最好吃的

36
00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:43,780
第八好吃

37
00:01:43,780 --> 00:01:45,460
是的 太惨了

38
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:47,850
所有和食品有关的犯罪都好惨

39
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,120
不好 注意 消防队长来了

40
00:01:58,010 --> 00:02:01,670
Boone那个蠢货来干嘛

41
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,630
嗨 Peralta

42
00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:05,110
嗨 Boone

43
00:02:05,110 --> 00:02:06,470
你这个蠢货来这儿干嘛

44
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,800
这儿有场火灾啊

45
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:09,910
你来这儿干嘛

46
00:02:09,910 --> 00:02:12,740
有人报案说甜甜圈不见了吗

47
00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:14,510
其实是有人报案说

48
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:15,780
你的头不见了

49
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:17,720
但是我们找到了 在你屁股上呢

50
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,550
作为消防员 你应该很清楚 怎么应对烧伤(侮辱)吧

51
00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:22,250
傻了吧你 这是场火灾

52
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:24,480
意味着管辖权属于消防部

53
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,850
你还是一边凉快去

54
00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:27,650
留给纽约最勇敢的人来处理吧

55
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,350
大家这么叫只是因为

56
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,120
"纽约最擅长往东西上洒水的人" 太长了

57
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,250
太可惜了

58
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:36,190
不是人人都像你们 是纽约最棒

59
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,250
对了 我妈就是这么形容

60
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,760
她的餐具的 我妈已经去世了

61
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,330
你们的回击请注意点分寸

62
00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,760
- 真不公平  - 就是

63
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,460
我们接到消息 这可能是纵火

64
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,860
所以我们想进去看看

65
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,600
不 我可不会让你们到我的犯罪现场来

66
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,500
懂了吗

67
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:53,430
算你狠 我告诉你

68
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,820
我们下一次有谋杀案你也别想来

69
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,470
赫尔曼大道的那起入室偷窃案你们做得很好

70
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,140
尽快把文书工作弄完

71
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,570
您的愿望就是我的命令

72
00:03:02,570 --> 00:03:04,810
那就是一道命令

73
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,140
我的命令就是你的命令

74
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:10,240
那你还有三个愿望呢

75
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,020
- 你不是精灵  - 我知道

76
00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:13,910
好了 我们走

77
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,720
第二起偷窃案我们询问的那个职员

78
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,930
叫什么名字

79
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:19,780
放的屁都到哪里去了

80
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:21,850
我在看Scully的搜索记录

81
00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:25,290
你为什么要搜索"魔法主题单身之夜"

82
00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:26,820
我之前四次约会都很无聊

83
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:28,600
我就想尝试一点新花样

84
00:03:30,630 --> 00:03:32,780
哇

85
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,330
不要

86
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:39,530
你呢

87
00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:42,300
你为什么要搜索新泽西罗普斯堡附近的房地产

88
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:45,370
罗普斯堡警局给我提供了一个警监的职位

89
00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:46,370
我拒绝了

90
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:48,370
噢

91
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,540
你 当警监

92
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:53,340
天 那真是

93
00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:55,540
太酷了

94
00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:05,200
如果我们想弄清楚Sal披萨店到底发生了什么

95
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,480
就要过消防员那关

96
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:09,290
得找个法子 不如这样

97
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,820
我们在布鲁克林搞几场大火

98
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:13,520
趁消防员过来"与烈焰搏斗"的时候

99
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,790
直接溜进披萨店 犯罪现场就是我们的了

100
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:18,230
我们为什么要和消防部门争地盘呢

101
00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:19,830
很抱歉跟你说这些

102
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:20,960
但这么做好像不值啊

103
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,600
- 除非你觉得值  - 我觉得值

104
00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,500
我说了 Sal披萨店是经典

105
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,230
也是附近最好吃的披萨

106
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:28,470
抱歉 Jake 它只是第八好吃而已

107
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,540
我在做电子版布鲁克林披萨周评

108
00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,640
Sal的披萨 质感排第四

109
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,740
外壳面包皮排第九 芝士排第十二

110
00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:38,310
而且说实话 它的口感才排第七

111
00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:39,770
"口感"是什么

112
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,310
你脸颊的里侧是很敏感的

113
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:42,440
就像大腿内侧一样

114
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:43,440
不过多了个舌头

115
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,810
恶 天哪

116
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:46,680
Sal家的秘密酱汁配方

117
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,730
完胜任何一家披萨店

118
00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:51,480
更重要的是 消防队长Boone

119
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,000
完全不懂罪案调查

120
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,620
所有的消防队长都是蠢货

121
00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:58,490
Boone是蠢货之王

122
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,890
汽油

123
00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:01,360
肯定是水

124
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:03,320
只有一个办法了

125
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,260
还有很多别的办法好吗

126
00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,930
他还是带头的

127
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:13,460
警监 这就是黑了我们系统的那小子

128
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,270
他妈妈把他送来的 名字叫Corey Park

129
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,470
我叫Savant

130
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,640
他的网名是Savant

131
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,720
人名是Corey Park

132
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,940
为什么盯上我们 Corey

133
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,570
我不知道 可能有点无聊

134
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:27,310
进入你们的弱鸡系统又很容易

135
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,910
就像从婴儿那抢糖果一样

136
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:32,510
你一开始为什么要给婴儿糖果呢

137
00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:35,680
不要给婴儿糖果 他牙都还不会刷

138
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,410
我们知道了 给婴儿糖果是不明智的

139
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:40,720
照这位先生的说法

140
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,450
黑我们的系统很容易

141
00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:43,780
那也许该换一个电脑专家了

142
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,830
不如你和Gina一起负责这事吧

143
00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:47,550
我觉得我不用Gina帮忙

144
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:49,690
况且她也忙着呢

145
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,690
带上Gina 她是我的助理

146
00:05:54,690 --> 00:05:57,030
她会有用处的

147
00:05:57,030 --> 00:05:58,730
相信我

148
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:01,840
别黑我的东西

149
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,490
不 Jake 消防员

150
00:06:04,510 --> 00:06:06,010
你们来干嘛

151
00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,880
你是警探 你来推理看看啊

152
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:08,910
说得好 兄弟

153
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,450
- 我知道 兄弟  - 是啊 兄弟

154
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,380
跟看似的

155
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,580
Boone重新考虑了一下

156
00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,990
他想让你看看这案子的档案

157
00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:18,390
有点意外 不过

158
00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:19,650
行吧 我...

159
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,460
这不是档案 兄弟

160
00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:23,290
这是个甜甜圈 因为你是警察

161
00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:24,260
你确定吗

162
00:06:25,630 --> 00:06:27,860
行 我不管这在不在我们的管辖范围

163
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:29,030
这案子我们破定了

164
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:31,500
你要我把这个文件拿去归档吗 Jake

165
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,040
直接说你要甜甜圈吧 Scully

166
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,760
- 甜甜圈能给我吗 拜托  - 拿走

167
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,060
多谢

168
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:41,660
很高兴见到你 Sal

169
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:43,220
火灾的事我很遗憾

170
00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:45,760
真不敢相信都没了 Jakey 全没了

171
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:46,990
比萨烤炉

172
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,990
我挣的第一张钞票

173
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:50,630
七喜的冰柜

174
00:06:50,630 --> 00:06:53,160
会好的 你还能重建

175
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,300
消防局问了我很多问题

176
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,200
消防局的问题啊 我猜猜

177
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,700
"脸上哪块可以塞吃的进去啊"

178
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:00,770
"怎么数到一啊"

179
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:02,300
"空气是个啥"

180
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:05,000
他们认为是我自己纵的火

181
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,740
你知道我不会干这种事的

182
00:07:06,740 --> 00:07:08,340
当然了 但是你能想出

183
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,640
有谁会干这种事吗

184
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:10,870
我能想出大把比萨店老板

185
00:07:10,870 --> 00:07:12,170
想把我挤出这个圈子

186
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:13,740
比如混蛋Mario

187
00:07:13,740 --> 00:07:15,710
我们送餐区域重了

188
00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:17,780
Mario在布鲁克林排名第十

189
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:18,810
并且在急速上升

190
00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:19,980
他或许想更上一层楼

191
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,850
在某个美食怪胎搞的个人排名里更上一层楼吗

192
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:23,980
对

193
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:25,720
好吧 我们先从他开始

194
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:26,990
然后再一间间排查你的竞争对手

195
00:07:26,990 --> 00:07:28,290
看看有没有线索

196
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,390
这还是我更新排行榜的绝佳机会

197
00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:32,820
我们能先去我家拿我的比萨围嘴吗

198
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,220
不行 Charles 我们要争分夺秒

199
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,690
好吧 那我就将就用我的办公围嘴好了

200
00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:37,260
不行 不准带围嘴

201
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:39,290
我们会帮你破了这个案子的 Sal

202
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:40,750
安心坐着吧

203
00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:44,260
那个在第二间公寓翘保险柜的家伙叫什么来着

204
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:45,860
Cone

205
00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:48,390
"警监"的"C" "被高估"的"O"

206
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,390
- 什么  - 没什么

207
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,400
她说"警监"的"C" "被高估"的...

208
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,170
我知道那名字怎么拼

209
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,770
好的

210
00:07:55,770 --> 00:07:59,240
罗普斯堡警局

211
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,180
- 你在那有认识的人吗  - 没

212
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,680
所以你在找新工作咯

213
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,810
- 没  - 奇怪了

214
00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:08,390
他们就这样给你警监的职位 也没考虑其它人啊

215
00:08:09,180 --> 00:08:10,820
比如Scully

216
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,220
他资历都这么老了

217
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,850
我好像把我的枪

218
00:08:13,850 --> 00:08:16,050
放在一个箱子里了 不知道是哪个

219
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:18,150
你想说说 你对我有什么意见吗

220
00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:22,720
我 才没 我只是在做证物归档 长官

221
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,860
找到了 在我枪套里呢

222
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:27,160
枪套在我屁股后面

223
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,220
案子破得漂亮 Scully

224
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,900
Mario啊 这个披萨还要加油

225
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,310
边的一致度已经很不错了

226
00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:36,130
但是奶酪和酱汁的比例太差了

227
00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:38,930
你一定要吐出来吗

228
00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:40,200
简单地说 没错

229
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,840
业余者去试菜 总会吃饱

230
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,370
吃到第三片就再没法品鉴了

231
00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:44,940
我很严肃地在对待这件事

232
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,170
Mario

233
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,810
我来说说是怎么回事吧

234
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,110
过去六个月 你们店的信用卡支付额

235
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:51,440
下降了三分之一

236
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,500
与此同时 Sal那边满是开心的笑脸和满足的胃

237
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,710
某天晚上 你灵光一闪

238
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,280
一点汽油 再来点火柴

239
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,790
再也没有Sal比萨店了 我说对了几成

240
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,890
失火那晚 我在我爸的葬礼上

241
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,440
节哀顺变

242
00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:10,820
Gino

243
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:13,130
这比萨比上次好多了

244
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,390
你总是在完整性和酱汁上排在最后一位的

245
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,330
更重要的是 我做了点小调查

246
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:22,430
发现你因为入室抢劫蹲了六个月牢房

247
00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:24,270
是啊 失火那个晚上

248
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:26,270
我在监狱里做了个励志讲座

249
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,320
是关于假释犯如何重新开始生活的

250
00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:30,070
假释机制这么有用 我真是欣慰

251
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,340
不用客气

252
00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:34,770
祝你今天好心情哟

253
00:09:34,810 --> 00:09:36,510
完全死路一条

254
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,040
我们得去看看案发现场

255
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,810
不行 消防员封锁了现场

256
00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:41,410
带着你的吐桶 Boyle

257
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,350
那些耍软管子的猴子拦不住我们

258
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:47,780
你一定是Simon Walker了

259
00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:49,520
坐吧

260
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,060
上面说你是个IT专家

261
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,220
在教育局待了两年

262
00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:55,430
计算机我还是颇有一套的 这是肯定的

263
00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:58,090
提问 你最喜欢Jay-Z哪首歌

264
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,430
什么

265
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,760
最喜欢Jay-Z哪首歌

266
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,230
她开玩笑呢

267
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:04,350
才不是 哪首

268
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:05,060
我不知道

269
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,330
- 我替她道歉  - 好吧

270
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:09,690
你在互联网方面的经验如何

271
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:11,820
我新增了加密软件

272
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,860
说真的 你最喜欢Jay-Z哪首歌

273
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,860
我不知道 Big Pimpin吧 Big Pimpin

274
00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:19,060
答错了 伙计

275
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:24,270
这就是我如何进入系统分析这个圈子的

276
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,830
抱歉 我很紧张

277
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:28,770
没什么好紧张的

278
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:32,100
对 我们都很放松 淡定 镇静

279
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,340
是不是有点点突然

280
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:41,310
你觉得你作为雇员最大的缺点是什么

281
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,470
不好意思 你问什么来着

282
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:49,320
他说 "你作为雇员最大的缺点是什么"

283
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,430
好恶心

284
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,860
不好意思  我有牙龈炎

285
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,330
得好好对待我的牙齿

286
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,490
抱歉好像恶心到你了

287
00:10:56,530 --> 00:11:00,260
这是花园公寓的失窃物品清单

288
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,370
电视 电脑

289
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,700
"音想"

290
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:06,170
啊哦 写错字了

291
00:11:06,170 --> 00:11:07,370
这可不像警监噢

292
00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:09,660
天哪 你够了吧

293
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,440
我只是觉得这里应该是"音响"不是"音想"

294
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,810
你是想说"音想"吗 警监大人

295
00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:17,580
够了 滚上我的车 现在

296
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:18,710
如果你再多说一个字

297
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,180
我保证 你会后悔的

298
00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,620
遵命 船 喔好痛

299
00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:26,510
好了 我后悔了 我去 我去

300
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,260
这些消防员根本不会走

301
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:30,660
我们要引开他们

302
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:32,890
告诉他们你儿子的猫被困在树上了

303
00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:34,890
噢 卧底行动 我喜欢

304
00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:36,290
我需要更具体的背景

305
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,360
首先 可以说我女儿的猫吗

306
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,260
好吧 如果你因此被拆穿了 不要怪我

307
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,200
好吧 那说说猫吧

308
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,800
短毛 长毛 有斑纹吗

309
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,470
短毛 白猫

310
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:47,610
儿子是领养的 老婆昏迷躺在医院

311
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,680
好悲惨 我喜欢

312
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:55,310
嘿 两位 我需要帮助

313
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:57,540
我的宝贝儿子 Brian

314
00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:58,940
我给他买了一只短毛的白猫

315
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:01,630
在我老婆昏迷之后 呃 摩托车事故造成的

316
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,240
现在那猫被困在树上了

317
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:04,090
是只很可爱的小猫

318
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,810
和你挺像的 是个帅哥

319
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:07,180
小帅哥

320
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:08,750
嘿 不小心被锁在外面了 所以

321
00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,550
他不在乎

322
00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:14,720
Brian是领养的 所以有点敏感

323
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,390
上个星期打球被虐惨了

324
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:17,820
大家都叫他爱哭鬼Brian

325
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,790
嗨 Peralta

326
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:23,930
靠

327
00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,190
在找什么吗

328
00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:27,930
你和这家二流披萨店到底有什么关系

329
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,700
这是布鲁克林的经典地标好吗

330
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,510
我在这里是因为你冤枉Sal放火

331
00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:32,330
大错特错

332
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,370
确实是他做的

333
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:34,830
Sal有经济问题

334
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:36,430
没有不在场证明

335
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:40,290
而且纵火案十有八九都是受害人自己干的

336
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,280
什么情况 长官

337
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,640
情况就是 Peralta来捣了最后一次乱

338
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,980
他要吃不了兜着走了

339
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,180
你知道吗 Boone 每次你想要

340
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,850
哇 就开始动手了

341
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:56,550
他们被惹毛了 Jake 他们被惹毛了

342
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:01,230
放手 Boone 你个死胖子

343
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:03,490
快把他们分开 马上

344
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,400
别指挥我的人

345
00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,200
你管我指挥谁

346
00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,700
我管了 你要怎样

347
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:13,990
嘿 放手

348
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:20,340
Boone队长 我为Peralta警探的行为 向你道歉

349
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:22,270
都不知道这是第几次了

350
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:23,240
允许我辩解一下

351
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,510
我是唯一一个叫大家停手的人

352
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:27,510
停手啊

353
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:29,350
用脚踢更痛

354
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:33,880
好 我是讲道理的人 就这样吧

355
00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:36,150
立即开除Peralta

356
00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,450
都是他开的头

357
00:13:37,490 --> 00:13:38,890
他越权了

358
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:40,780
还对这个披萨店有莫名的执念

359
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:43,630
我是对你如何搞砸这个案子有执念

360
00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:44,700
他们应该写首歌

361
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,330
叫"欢迎来搞砸"

362
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,730
说真的 你为什么要这样诽谤Sal的披萨店呢

363
00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:49,730
那个地方很特别

364
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:50,850
为什么

365
00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:53,210
- 因为那是附近最好吃的披萨  - 这个嘛

366
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,910
根据Charles的披萨排行 它是第八

367
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,180
警监看了我的排行

368
00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,770
当然 你的排行是唯一考虑了口感的

369
00:13:58,770 --> 00:13:59,810
什么 你在开玩笑吗

370
00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:01,410
这根本和披萨无关

371
00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:03,610
究竟是关于什么

372
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,680
我小的时候是我们小联盟队里的三垒手

373
00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:10,690
- 天哪  - 我没吹牛 是真的

374
00:14:10,690 --> 00:14:12,960
我爸爸是教练 每场比赛结束

375
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,630
他都会带我们全队去Sal的披萨店

376
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:17,300
最后一个学期过了一半 他离开了我和妈妈

377
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,820
最糟糕的部分是

378
00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,270
我再也不能和他一起去Sal的披萨店了

379
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:24,670
好吧 这跟我想象中的完全不一样

380
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:28,270
抱歉 抱歉

381
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:30,210
我很难过这种事发生在你身上

382
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:31,740
什么样的爸爸

383
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,590
会这么狠心对待自己的孩子

384
00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:38,350
看 你是个警察

385
00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:41,390
我是个消防员 但是在内心深处

386
00:14:41,390 --> 00:14:45,290
我们就是两个被爸爸抛弃的孩子

387
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:49,390
你和我 我们要一起解决这件事

388
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,400
- 好吗  - 好吧

389
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,460
- 好的  - 嗯

390
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,230
首先 来一个男人间的拥抱

391
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:56,230
天哪 什么情况啊

392
00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:00,770
警监 过来一起

393
00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,910
好了好了

394
00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:05,710
不哭不哭

395
00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:07,010
我也来了

396
00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:09,650
噢 Boyle

397
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,010
到底怎样

398
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,580
你是想把我带出来杀了我吗

399
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:13,880
我想过

400
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,390
不过这个计划暂时待定

401
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:16,890
我带你去看看罗普斯堡

402
00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:18,460
这就是罗普斯堡

403
00:15:18,490 --> 00:15:19,920
你那么想要这个职位

404
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,790
我想不如给你一个机会

405
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:26,330
Diaz女士 你重新考虑了吗

406
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,300
我们照你的建议 给副局长买了子弹

407
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,180
嗨 警长

408
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:30,900
不 我还是不感兴趣

409
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,270
完全不

410
00:15:32,270 --> 00:15:33,570
这是Santiago警探

411
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:35,270
她是咱那最好的警探之一

412
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:36,940
而且非常非常想要这个工作

413
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:39,940
我 是的

414
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,350
能告诉我上一个警监怎么了吗

415
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:44,280
他辞职去做地毯清洁生意了

416
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,720
因为那也比在这当警监好

417
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,350
因为这是世界上最无聊的地方

418
00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:51,320
她开玩笑的

419
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,820
没关系 这是事实

420
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,320
咱就以这闻名

421
00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:59,300
在今天你们面试的所有候选人里

422
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,600
你觉得该雇哪个

423
00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:04,470
面试有点失控

424
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,230
不过我推荐Simon Walker

425
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,380
计算机科学学位

426
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:10,470
- 在教育局干了十年  - 那家伙不行

427
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,010
我连续问了他三遍

428
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:14,480
最喜欢Jay-Z哪首歌时他冲我吼了

429
00:16:14,510 --> 00:16:15,780
这有什么关系

430
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,580
因为不管谁干这份工作

431
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,050
每天都要被Hitchcock

432
00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:21,020
问怎么登入邮箱

433
00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:23,090
直到永远

434
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:25,950
你觉着暴脾气教授怎么受得了

435
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,690
行 这个呢

436
00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:30,590
不行 他太容易受到惊吓

437
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,330
你们还记得上次打印机卡纸时Rosa的反应吗

438
00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:40,940
我会赔的

439
00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:43,640
行 那牙线那位又有什么毛病

440
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,840
辖区是个很恶心的地方 Terry熊熊

441
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,980
有血啊 伤口啊 Scully的脚啊

442
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:51,550
你要有个坚强的胃

443
00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,420
那个女士没有

444
00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:56,020
再说 我们已经有最完美的人选了

445
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:57,490
Savant

446
00:16:57,490 --> 00:16:58,980
那个黑了我们的混混

447
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:00,420
正是

448
00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:03,390
警监 把你最大的弱点转化为

449
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,730
你最强的力量

450
00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:07,080
就像Paris Hilton翻拍她的性爱录像

451
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,070
快说重点

452
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,670
Savant拆了我们的墙

453
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,700
但是他能重建它们

454
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,800
比以前更高 更厚

455
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,960
但是我们怎么能确定他不会出卖我们

456
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,580
他妈妈告发他了

457
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:21,150
我确信他很想要一份稳定的工资

458
00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,010
逃离那个告密者的家

459
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:25,380
如果我手里有个麦

460
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:27,840
现在就是我扔麦的时候了

461
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:31,050
那就这么定了吧

462
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:34,830
这就是你想要的档案

463
00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:38,430
有点难以相信我要说这话了

464
00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,670
因为我花了大半生在恨你

465
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,530
和你所坚持的所有事 但是

466
00:17:42,530 --> 00:17:43,730
多谢了

467
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:48,410
说实话 我的心理医生会为我感到自豪的

468
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:49,130
奇怪了

469
00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:52,040
你的人有理由在灭火的时候

470
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,040
撬开这个柜子吗

471
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,680
没有吧

472
00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:57,820
看样子这被铁撬翘开了啊

473
00:17:57,820 --> 00:18:00,550
天呐 我知道是谁干的了

474
00:18:00,550 --> 00:18:02,550
快走 我边走边解释

475
00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:04,420
等等

476
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,020
真不敢相信我要跟个警察说这话

477
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:07,960
但是

478
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,460
你想从滑杆下去吗

479
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,050
我的天 好啊

480
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:15,830
为正义而战

481
00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:17,440
- 拍到了吗  - 嗯 轮我了

482
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,040
不 没时间了

483
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:30,030
我们知道是你烧了Sal披萨店 Gino

484
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:32,230
你恨他因为他的披萨比你的好

485
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,240
这不是真的

486
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,330
Gino的披萨一直都是最好吃的

487
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,940
错 根据Boyle的排行

488
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,370
它之前一直都超差

489
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,470
所以他突然喜欢上了

490
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:42,010
一切才显得这么可疑

491
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:45,170
比上次好多了

492
00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:47,370
边烤焦了

493
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,510
奶酪太稠还没味道

494
00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:50,680
但是这酱汁

495
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,150
老天(意大利语) 这个酱汁啊

496
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:53,850
继续说

497
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,390
这就是你的失误了

498
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:56,690
你不仅是烧了Sal的披萨店

499
00:18:56,690 --> 00:18:59,060
还偷了他的秘制酱汁配方

500
00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:03,030
这是张放配方的柜子的照片

501
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:04,440
被铁撬翘开了

502
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:05,190
看着眼熟吗

503
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:08,980
还有你所谓的监狱励志讲座

504
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,400
下午五点就结束了

505
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,200
你有大把时间可以去Sal披萨店

506
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,700
然后将之付诸一炬

507
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:16,310
我猜现在只有一句话好说了

508
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:18,410
Gino Bianucci 你被逮捕

509
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,980
- 抱歉  - 你介意吗

510
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,580
- 这是我的犯人  - 我可以应付

511
00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:23,010
如果我没记错的话

512
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,720
对 不过活都是我干的

513
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,520
看 我就知道你会这样 你知道吗 算了

514
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:27,630
你来吧 我不在乎

515
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:29,630
Gino Bianucci 你因纵火而被逮捕

516
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:30,660
- 我先说了  - 真成熟

517
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:31,960
真成熟

518
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,490
走吧

519
00:19:33,530 --> 00:19:37,260
你觉得罗普斯堡怎么样

520
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,300
很 古雅

521
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,100
烂透了 你明明知道

522
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,240
他们的头号犯人是个三轮车小偷

523
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,000
警局还有连着个面包房

524
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:48,270
拜托 Santiago

525
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,730
你不会想要这份工作的

526
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,690
那你为啥还介意他们给我这份工作

527
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,750
我情不自禁 我很好胜

528
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:57,050
我有七个兄弟 而我是独女

529
00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:59,180
我在饭桌上的位置都得靠抢的

530
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:01,750
你现在不是饭桌上唯一的女孩了

531
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:04,090
我们在一个全是爷们的警局里工作

532
00:20:04,090 --> 00:20:05,610
我们得罩着对方

533
00:20:07,260 --> 00:20:08,320
你说你罩着我

534
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,030
对 我罩着你

535
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,390
别笑 我还在生你气

536
00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:12,750
我以为刚刚是我们的温情一刻

537
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,460
温情一刻结束了 闭嘴

538
00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:16,680
警长

539
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,530
他把我电脑弄聪明了

540
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:20,540
我只要把我的大拇指放在那上面

541
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,310
电邮就全都打开了

542
00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:25,680
你很聪明 伙计

543
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,010
瞧 你还玩玩具呢

544
00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:31,050
Savant 你现在是99片区的一份子了

545
00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:32,310
我们互相照应

546
00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:35,480
魔球 如果Savant要做

547
00:20:35,490 --> 00:20:38,320
任何危害警局的事 我会灭了他吗

548
00:20:40,190 --> 00:20:43,330
答案不确定 再试一次

549
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,260
Peralta 消防队长Boone刚打来

550
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,270
他说叫你看看你的抽屉

551
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,670
瞧瞧

552
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,070
我被整到了

553
00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:58,190
糗的是他

554
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,760
我正缺刮胡膏呢

555
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,810
看来我们再一次和消防局开战了

556
00:21:02,810 --> 00:21:04,220
你不准报复

557
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,740
我才不会呢 长官

558
00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:08,620
事实上 我要去送上和解信物

559
00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:10,820
Sal的酱汁

560
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:11,820
就现在 Boyle

561
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,880
着火了 着火了

562
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,950
和你共事真高兴 Boone

563
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,390
快跑 Charles

564
00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:25,130
抓住那家伙