1
00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:04,620
*盘盘擦干干 耶*

2
00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:07,540
天哪 自从在警监的派对上勾搭了那个教授

3
00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:10,040
Charles整个人都容光焕发了

4
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:17,780
她不仅是终身"高级教授" 还是比他大二十岁的"高寿"

5
00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:18,930
- 真悲剧  - 是啊

6
00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:20,830
他这样挺好的

7
00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:22,250
他是如此自信

8
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:24,120
今早 那个咖啡师叫他"Charlize"的时候

9
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:25,550
他终于纠正她了

10
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:28,420
他被叫做"Charlize Broil"整整五年了

11
00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:30,490
太棒了 棒得不像话了

12
00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:32,560
要是能稍微收敛点就好了

13
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,030
*如果你喜欢椰香凤梨鸡尾酒*

14
00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:37,560
- 死者为大 Charles  - 抱歉

15
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:39,270
不过唱歌我也扛得住

16
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,780
我是真心为他高兴

17
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:42,090
也该轮到他交好运了

18
00:00:42,090 --> 00:00:44,460
性感火车正在离站

19
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,240
瞅瞅我这节小车厢

20
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,510
回见 小骚货们

21
00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:48,540
就让他得瑟吧

22
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,510
干得好 Boyle

23
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,010
神烦警探 
第一季 第十七集

24
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,420
Peralta 黑出租抢劫案进展如何

25
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,100
- 这个嘛  - 让我来 Jakey

26
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,300
好啊 上吧 伙计

27
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,110
牛仔裤不错 Boyle

28
00:01:19,110 --> 00:01:21,260
真是非一般的低腰

29
00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:22,310
别乱瞄 Gina

30
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,110
我可不是只有翘臀

31
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哇唔

32
00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:27,210
不错 真不错

33
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,750
这个无照出租车司机专挑游客下手

34
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:32,120
他把被害人载到高速下面

35
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,860
持枪抢劫后 丢下受害人逃逸

36
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,520
很不巧 因为受害者都是游客

37
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,460
并且罪犯不是白人

38
00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,460
我们还无法掌握他的外貌特征

39
00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:43,300
他要么是拉丁人 阿拉伯人 或者是墨西哥人

40
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:46,600
都有可能 非常穆斯林

41
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,200
我们准备卧底 打扮成外地人

42
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,440
希望碰上那个罪犯

43
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,950
别担心 警长 保证能搞定

44
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:56,990
不敢相信我刚才竟然被Boyle吸引了一下

45
00:01:56,990 --> 00:01:59,180
呃 呃

46
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,150
有位Brain Jensen先生找你 长官

47
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:05,690
是Brian

48
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:09,860
根据我在手心迅速写下的笔记 你就是"Brain"

49
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:12,730
Holt警监 最近我们在纽约黑人

50
00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:15,660
同性恋警察协会上见过面

51
00:02:15,660 --> 00:02:17,230
是的 那名字太长了

52
00:02:17,230 --> 00:02:18,770
叫"纽黑同警协"就行

53
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,500
你的组织对我来说意义非凡

54
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,370
其实 那并不是我的组织

55
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虽然说 确实是我一手建立 25年来一直是主席

56
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,210
而且我也事必躬亲

57
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,940
但事实上 那是我们的组织

58
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:30,910
就是你的

59
00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:33,550
出于对您以及您工作的尊重

60
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:36,250
特意过来拜访 并告知您我将会竞选主席

61
00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:37,650
与你竞争非我所愿

62
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:39,290
但是我有一些改革计划

63
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能带领"纽黑同警协"走进21世纪

64
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我知道了 总之 很高兴见到你

65
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,830
- 并且 衷心祝福你  - 谢谢

66
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,300
再见 Brain

67
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,200
是Brian

68
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,330
这人不错啊

69
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:52,600
是 挺不错的

70
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,170
现在 我们计划一下如何

71
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,210
毁了他

72
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:00,270
受害者访谈怎么样了

73
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,510
进展顺利

74
00:03:01,510 --> 00:03:04,150
那家伙从加拿大来的 说被抢可能错在他

75
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,620
还为浪费我时间道歉

76
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,780
加拿大啊

77
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:09,280
- 完全就是美国加菲猫的欧弟狗  - 嗯哼

78
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,600
你明晚有空吗 我估计能弄到篮网队球赛的票

79
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:12,650
不去了 盆友

80
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,690
明天是Vivi和我约会二十天的重要纪念日

81
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:17,220
我简直全力以赴

82
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,360
晚餐安排在Le Bonbon

83
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,630
桌上摆300朵玫瑰

84
00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:20,860
不是吧 老兄

85
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,730
然后在Gowanus运河上乘贡多拉

86
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,880
- 别 别 别 别 别 别  - 然后空中出现

87
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,080
几个字 "Charles爱V"

88
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,600
写全名太贵了

89
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,810
好吧 首先"Charles爱V"有特定含义

90
00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:34,760
我猜 你应该不是那个意思

91
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,480
但更重要的是 你简直是"情痴Boyle"

92
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,250
什么 我才不会

93
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:40,060
什么是"情痴Boyle"

94
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:43,960
每次Charles进入一段新恋情时 都会太热情太心急

95
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,130
结果总是心碎收场

96
00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:49,100
我们地铁上认识的 共进晚餐 然后我就告诉她我爱她

97
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,960
我妈妈非常高兴

98
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,960
接着我雇的男声四重唱开始唱歌

99
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,230
- 然后她就和我分手了  - 然后她就和你分手了

100
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,300
是的

101
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,930
噢 Joanna 不要啊

102
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,370
Courtney

103
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:02,570
Rhonda

104
00:04:02,570 --> 00:04:04,240
我知道什么时候我是情痴Boyle

105
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,610
相信我 这次不一样

106
00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:06,840
一切尽在掌握之中

107
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,340
得走了 Jakey

108
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:10,880
打扰一下

109
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,480
你是警探吗

110
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,550
呃 你是谁

111
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:15,940
我是超级丹

112
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,920
布鲁克林地下世界的克星

113
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,550
我想找个警官谈谈

114
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:24,000
我正忙着呢 忙着找借口 打发你

115
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,480
Santiago有空

116
00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:27,270
嗨

117
00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:28,330
我是超级丹

118
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,000
我要报案

119
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,500
噢 天哪 很抱歉

120
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,270
我刚刚退休

121
00:04:35,270 --> 00:04:38,270
这是我的退休蛋糕 嗯

122
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:41,370
谢谢 伙计们 我会想念这里的

123
00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:43,280
为什么你们都不理我

124
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,550
你的披风和紧身短裤

125
00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:46,650
你的名字还叫超级丹

126
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,320
还有你鸡鸡的形状若隐若现

127
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,550
搅在一起就是一锅乱粥

128
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:51,890
好吧 我是一个公民

129
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,510
我住在这个社区

130
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:56,210
我这身打扮的唯一原因是

131
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:58,990
我在帮助你们跟犯罪做斗争的时候

132
00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:00,690
这行头会让大众信服

133
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,060
有效果吗

134
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,770
警探们 有公民来报案的时候

135
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:07,070
听他说明案件是纽约警局的规定

136
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:09,970
这一身还不够说明问题吗

137
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:15,340
是的 我想咨询租自由女神来浪漫一夜要多少钱

138
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:16,480
嗯哼

139
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,380
火炬里有床吗

140
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,680
没有 好吧

141
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:20,780
晚点再打给你

142
00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:22,550
嘿 Charles

143
00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:25,590
我们得谈谈你现在的疯狂行径了

144
00:05:25,590 --> 00:05:27,020
你正在毁灭这段感情

145
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,890
你有资格提感情建议吗

146
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:32,760
你又不是成人感情大师

147
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,270
有道理 但我要说

148
00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:36,490
我就像个美丽的爱情小天使

149
00:05:36,490 --> 00:05:38,000
只是暂未找到自己的另一半

150
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,370
承认你会去看那部电影

151
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:40,100
我会

152
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,440
感谢你的诚实

153
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,840
但重点不在我

154
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,100
在Charles

155
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,420
我见过你这架势 相当不妙

156
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,460
Jake 我离情痴Boyle远着呢

157
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:51,780
那你证明给我看 只要把你的纪念日晚餐推迟一晚

158
00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,860
说"Vivian 明天我没空 能改天吗"

159
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:57,680
如果这就能说服你 再好不过

160
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,420
- 没问题  - 好极了

161
00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:00,950
语音信箱

162
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,570
天 我超爱她说"你接通了"的时候

163
00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:05,360
- 嗨 Vivi 我是查尔小兔子  - 呃

164
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:09,130
我是想说说明天的晚餐

165
00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:11,730
我迫不及待想见你了 我美味的早餐小蛋饼

166
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,510
我想给你洗个泡泡浴

167
00:06:13,510 --> 00:06:14,940
然后喂你吃鱼子酱

168
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,670
我们应该开个联合账户

169
00:06:16,670 --> 00:06:18,440
我爱你 我在干嘛

170
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,710
没事 我在查尔小兔子之后就挂了

171
00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:24,780
救救我 我已经情痴Boyle了

172
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:30,720
我得全身贯注在竞选连任上面

173
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:31,720
清空我的行程

174
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,820
你真的挺在乎这个小俱乐部的是吧

175
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:37,960
这不是俱乐部 是一个我在25年前创建的组织

176
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,960
自豪地说 我们现在有50个成员了

177
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,030
不过一开始的时候可没那么容易

178
00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,850
我希望申请自由资金

179
00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:48,700
来创立一个帮助黑人同性恋警察的组织

180
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,770
他们从没说过不行

181
00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:59,010
所以我就勇往直前了

182
00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:01,650
我全身心地投入这个组织

183
00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:04,080
所以我不会放弃主席的位子

184
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,380
你应该让我当你的竞选经理

185
00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:07,780
我简直是为政治而生

186
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:10,480
我头发很漂亮还爱撒谎

187
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,050
尽你全力找出有关Jensen的一切

188
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,420
我继续写演讲稿

189
00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:17,070
这个开场笑话如何

190
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:21,430
你们知道身为黑人同性恋警官最难的地方是什么吗

191
00:07:21,430 --> 00:07:23,590
歧视

192
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,500
我相信这就是人们所说的 真实型幽默

193
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,900
可能是吧 太棒了

194
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:34,790
好吧 来过一遍我们的假身份

195
00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:37,580
我是从圣地亚哥来的Herbert Goffleman

196
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:40,070
我来门外 在寒风中站着

197
00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:42,480
举着一个拼错单词的标语

198
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,500
你知道吗 你赢了

199
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,980
那个荧光绿的腰包摆明了你是"容易上当的游客"

200
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,180
这是我的 我从家里带来的

201
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:49,050
能把手机还给我吗 拜托了

202
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,920
不行 因为你会打给Vivian

203
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,800
- 而且这次是我见过的最严重的情痴Boyle  - 啥

204
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,680
看我找到的 你写了一千多遍"Charles Ludley先生"

205
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,280
你为什么要随她姓 Boyle

206
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,610
听着

207
00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:03,650
过去两年 我把所有的爱都引向了Rosa

208
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,090
所以我的情绪都堆起来了

209
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:06,000
现在和Vivian在一起

210
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,150
我的感情就像消防龙头一样从我体内喷涌而出

211
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,160
这句话也太淫荡了

212
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,660
Jake 我会搞砸的

213
00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:12,730
你得帮帮我

214
00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:14,090
好吧 计划如下

215
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,760
我会用你的手机发短信给Vivian

216
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,730
然后告诉她你想要来个四人约会

217
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:19,750
这样我就能和你一起去 牵着你的手

218
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:20,740
然后你的手就会放到她的屁股上

219
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:21,780
因为我的手会放在她的屁股上

220
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:23,280
你冷静点行吗

221
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,770
我都说了我需要帮助了

222
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:28,450
嘿 我能拿走大西洋街上贩毒团伙的文件吗

223
00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:29,940
警长把那个案子给我和Scully了

224
00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:32,080
- 啥  - 嗷

225
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,150
你干嘛这样

226
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,280
我 我知道我罪有应得 但为什么

227
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,650
警长 你竟然挪走了我们的毒品案

228
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:40,230
Diaz和我已经花了整整三个月的功夫

229
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:41,720
还记得超级丹吗

230
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,890
那个你们嘲笑还无视了的人

231
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:47,260
他每晚在屋顶上偷拍毒品交易的照片

232
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:51,560
他有几千张能识别出整个团伙的照片

233
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,820
- 啥  - 你们拒绝为他立案 就因为他披着斗篷

234
00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:56,740
幸运的是 Hitchcock和Scully不介意

235
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,310
我根本没注意到他穿着斗篷

236
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:00,210
你是个警察 你应该注意到的

237
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:03,040
我们搞砸了 教训领了

238
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:04,580
是啊 对处男友善点

239
00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:05,910
她说的与我无关

240
00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:08,210
案子是不会返给你们的

241
00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,680
好嘞

242
00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:12,750
这是我找到的对手的资料

243
00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:15,720
Brian Jense 1899年生

244
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,990
一战期间在海军服役

245
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:20,190
斯萨米塔之战的英雄

246
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,030
Jensen在荷兰的一场工厂火灾中身亡

247
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,040
这估计是另一个Brian Jensen

248
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,150
我从没遇过这种情况

249
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,740
一直都是无对手竞选

250
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:34,840
如果你想要竞争 你得更潇洒点

251
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,780
给你几个建议

252
00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:39,810
首先 你可以穿套银色西装

253
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:42,250
带着墨镜和穿着溜冰鞋

254
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,720
欢乐竞选人

255
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,720
- 你有其他主意吗  - 啥都没

256
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,690
以为我第一个就能一矢中的

257
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,160
你好 我们想去时代广场

258
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,960
我们是兄弟俩

259
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,090
晚上的四人约会一切就绪

260
00:10:00,090 --> 00:10:02,200
Vivian会带她朋友Bernice

261
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,770
Bernice

262
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,950
听上去像个动画里的垃圾车

263
00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:07,240
随便了 说不定挺好的

264
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,710
我要任何干扰

265
00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:10,140
我的任务是保护你

266
00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:11,380
好的

267
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:12,810
这司机走的是正确的路

268
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:14,010
我们应该下车再试一辆

269
00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:15,750
这里停就行了

270
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:19,990
嘿

271
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:22,360
我们想买点百吉饼

272
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,120
还有欲望都市街在哪里

273
00:10:24,130 --> 00:10:25,760
我们想看看Carrie和Big住的地方

274
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,690
- 我是Carrie  - 我觉得我才是Carrie

275
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:30,000
我们都是Carrie

276
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,100
好了 得为今晚的约会做做准备

277
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,320
以下是你今晚不能谈论的题材

278
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,700
爱情 诗歌 音乐 或者激情

279
00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:38,200
我们完全可以不用说话

280
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:39,740
我只要注视着她的双眸

281
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:43,060
它们就像百合白色的果馅饼上点缀的点点香菜叶

282
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,920
好了 听着 不能讨论食物

283
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,900
会点燃你们俩内心那些野性又恶心的东西

284
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,140
令我作呕

285
00:10:49,140 --> 00:10:49,950
- 你说得对  - 如果你觉得

286
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,820
你顶不住了 给我个暗号

287
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:52,890
这样好了

288
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,210
你如何才能自然地作出这个暗号呢

289
00:10:58,210 --> 00:10:58,790
我不知道

290
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:00,190
对了 这司机没问题

291
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,800
能靠边停车吗

292
00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:04,230
她来了

293
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,800
我不知道我办不办得到

294
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,520
听我说 我整晚都会陪着你

295
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,740
今晚世间一切都无法打破我对你许下的庄重誓言 明白了吗

296
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:11,840
明白

297
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,140
Vivian 你真美

298
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,470
这裙子真漂亮

299
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,010
你也是 Charlie 你真帅

300
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:20,710
稳住 稳住

301
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,480
Jake 这是我朋友Bernice

302
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,850
你好 我是jak好美

303
00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:26,990
你叫姐好美

304
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,890
是的 我父母是嬉皮士

305
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,490
吃饭去吧

306
00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:37,500
Jake 你是警察

307
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,660
我小时候就希望长大后做警察

308
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:41,760
主要是因为我太爱了

309
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,000
真的吗

310
00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:47,040
合情合理 谁不爱那部电影呢

311
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,100
没我这么爱

312
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,760
我会穿着印着Nakatomi Plaza security的T恤睡觉呢

313
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,070
噢 不是吧

314
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:54,500
你喜欢哪种狗

315
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,510
就是 假设说我们养只狗的话

316
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,480
我都喜欢

317
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,980
我小时候养过一只可爱极了的金毛猎犬 叫Rufus

318
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,850
真是我听过的最棒的事了

319
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,010
我想见它

320
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:09,950
Charles 你跟Vivian说说未来十天的天气预报吧

321
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,680
好主意

322
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,820
抱歉 既然你不是警察 那你是做什么的

323
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,990
我还在读研究生 我有考虑过以后做体育记者

324
00:12:17,990 --> 00:12:20,580
但我估计没法做到客观公正

325
00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:22,170
我太爱篮网队了

326
00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:23,730
你也喜欢篮网队 我超爱篮网队

327
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:26,770
- 天呐 这个赛季简直太糟糕了 是吗  - 就是

328
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:29,000
- 而且人人都怪Jason Kidd  - 就是

329
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,840
但是 从某种程度上说

330
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,640
Billy King才是队伍的核心人物

331
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:33,640
就是

332
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,910
- 我喜欢雨天  - 我妈也喜欢雨天

333
00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:38,810
你该见见她

334
00:12:38,810 --> 00:12:39,950
抱歉

335
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:41,350
暗号

336
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,380
问大家一个问题

337
00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:46,150
你们参加过的最长的葬礼是什么样的

338
00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:47,290
女士优先

339
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:50,440
代表Holt警监 献上热舞

340
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:50,240
纽黑同警协会

341
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:06,910
你喜欢吗

342
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,700
这是源自纽约市的启发

343
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:13,230
意思是从地铁站几个孩子那偷学过来的

344
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:15,850
你们所有人立刻回家

345
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:19,190
Gina 我很感谢你为我做的一切 但我不能冒输掉竞选的险

346
00:13:19,190 --> 00:13:21,480
纽黑同警协对我来说太重要了

347
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:22,920
我得练习下我的演讲

348
00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:25,860
你们是想要一个排除万难

349
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:27,690
一手创立这个伟大组织的主席

350
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,700
还是想要一个无所作为

351
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,870
无所事事的无名小卒

352
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,230
啊哦

353
00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:36,840
选举就要开始了

354
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,500
现在是紧要关头

355
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,770
我开始紧张了

356
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:44,610
胃里翻江倒海

357
00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:46,280
在路易十一的宫廷里

358
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,010
女人只吃清汤

359
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:50,980
因为她们担心咀嚼会长皱纹

360
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,270
我就喜欢你谈论肉汤的样子

361
00:13:53,270 --> 00:13:54,850
Charles 还记得那条狗吗

362
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:56,120
我们在火车轨道上发现的那条狗

363
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,760
它是里外翻了个面还是严重烧伤

364
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,600
- 里外翻了个面  - 对 因为它面上有些东西

365
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,930
绝对是应该在里面的

366
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,100
- 正是里外翻了个面的定义  - 正确

367
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:07,200
抱歉 我和Bernice要去趟洗手间

368
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,640
快去快回噢 完了

369
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,070
Jake 我的目光无法从她屁股上挪开

370
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:14,290
你绝对让她坐立不安了

371
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:18,320
这位热爱篮球和的美女正一步步冲破我的防线

372
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,060
如果最后发现她有一半犹太血统

373
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,100
我们都完蛋了

374
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,090
我知道 我趁你没注意的时候

375
00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:25,630
找服务员借了手机 给我和Vivian买了两张去罗马的机票

376
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:27,210
- 啥  - 两个小时后就出发

377
00:14:27,210 --> 00:14:29,240
航线太糟糕了 还得在越南转机

378
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,920
好了 你回去 赶紧离开这里 清理清理头绪

379
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,030
- 剩下的我来解决 我跟她们说你有急事  - 谢谢

380
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:36,350
你能不能跟她们说是工作上的急事 而不是人有三急

381
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:37,770
我有点想说是人有三急

382
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:40,630
警长 你的意思我们都懂了

383
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,720
我们错了 但这是个大案子

384
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,370
Hitchcock和Scully肯定会搞砸的

385
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:45,910
我相信他们能搞定

386
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,620
他们加起来有50年的办案经验

387
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:52,130
今天早上我发现Scully的枪在冰箱里 在冻酸奶里

388
00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:53,880
我觉得他是把枪当勺使

389
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,350
事实是 我必须让他们接手这个案子

390
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,080
你们侮辱了超级丹

391
00:14:58,090 --> 00:15:00,290
他拒绝和你俩合作

392
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,510
我们哪有侮辱他

393
00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:03,810
你跟他说他的超能量实在是太愚蠢

394
00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:05,540
大家都笑到吐血身亡了

395
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:06,960
是啊

396
00:15:07,930 --> 00:15:09,860
可能有些人还不认识我

397
00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:11,630
我是Brian Jense警官

398
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,930
听听他说的

399
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:15,100
一点都不庄重

400
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,870
你知道怎样才庄重吗

401
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:20,410
诸位好

402
00:15:20,410 --> 00:15:22,740
有关这个组织的细节

403
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:26,880
应该出现在纽约警局的招聘文书里和网页上

404
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,920
他真的有些好想法

405
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,150
也许你不应该这么快就对他嗤之以鼻

406
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,790
就像你对某支明明很棒的舞蹈队那样

407
00:15:33,790 --> 00:15:35,450
他不适合当主席

408
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:36,890
他在过去的25年里

409
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:38,730
可没有尽心尽力来孕育这个组织

410
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:44,170
是啊 那样不好吗 我以为你建立这个"扭腰痛经"

411
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:46,000
管它叫什么 就是为了他这样的人

412
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,220
不会再次经历你经历过的重重困境

413
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:50,140
Brian Jensen在过去的25年里

414
00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:52,910
没有为了站上这个讲台而受尽麻烦

415
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,910
这难道不是件好事吗

416
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,940
谢谢你们的聆听

417
00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:58,240
希望你们能投我一票

418
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:06,020
诸位好

419
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:10,090
你们知道作为一名黑人同志警官最困难的地方是什么吗

420
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:11,520
歧视

421
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,260
不是吧

422
00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:17,860
在纽黑同警协的首次会议上

423
00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:19,930
大会一致通过由我担任主席

424
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:21,590
因为只有我一个成员

425
00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:22,870
我投了自己一票

426
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:25,810
但是经过25年苦心经营

427
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,810
我不再是唯一的成员了

428
00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:31,080
而我也相当期待把自己的一票投给别人

429
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:36,080
所以我决定退出竞选

430
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,250
祝贺你 Brian

431
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,060
如果搞砸了 我一定会弹劾你的

432
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:46,490
规章都是我写的 我很清楚怎么弹劾

433
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,530
不过我还是为你感到高兴

434
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:52,830
可出了什么岔子 我还是会弹劾你的

435
00:16:53,870 --> 00:16:57,280
无论如何 Charles让我务必向你们致歉

436
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,840
可他是收到一个紧急电话

437
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,400
这听起来很合理 因为我们是警探

438
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,340
噢 这案子很棘手吧

439
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,310
我看Charlie今晚怪怪的

440
00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:07,480
嗯 工作压力山大

441
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,330
噢对了 你的外套

442
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,380
我要走了

443
00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,260
你们不介意的话 从后门出去吧

444
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,380
那样安全多了 相信我

445
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,960
我是警察 纽约啊

446
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:20,190
Charles 你在这干嘛

447
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,860
我差点就帮你全身而退了

448
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:23,160
她们大衣都穿上了

449
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,450
跟你说个趣事 我回家时路过一家当铺

450
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:26,530
鬼使神差地进去了

451
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,920
现在我有了枚订婚戒指

452
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,540
- 不是吧 Charles  - 好了

453
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,470
我要向Vivian求婚 拜拜

454
00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:34,500
- 不 给我  - Jake 还给我

455
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,580
我这样做是为你好

456
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,440
你简直是情痴Boyle了 我这是帮你

457
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:39,050
戒指还我 否则我要使上胡椒喷雾了

458
00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:42,550
你喷我 我也会喷你

459
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:45,920
不

460
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:56,470
呸 呸 呸 呸 呸

461
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,810
嘿 兄弟

462
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:02,570
给你买了最爱的花式咖啡

463
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:03,280
不了 不想喝

464
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,440
啊 很贵的

465
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,610
你还好吗

466
00:18:06,610 --> 00:18:08,170
Jake 我好多了

467
00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:09,760
好了 听着 对不起

468
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,880
我不该把你的戒指扔进热猪肉汤里

469
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,980
我也很抱歉 不该用胡椒喷雾喷你

470
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:15,550
我也不该喷你的

471
00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:16,840
- 烧死人了 对吧  - 就是

472
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,280
幸亏当时有汽水

473
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:24,860
啊 虽然很黏 可感觉好极了

474
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:26,230
噢 出租车来了

475
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,530
- 你先请  - 是的 长官

476
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,770
你们俩怎么还在 你们不是该下班了吗

477
00:18:33,770 --> 00:18:35,360
我们有点事要处理

478
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:39,100
噢 超级丹 这边 很感激你能过来

479
00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,170
不是吧

480
00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:40,900
你们俩

481
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:42,240
要嘲笑我的话

482
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,000
约我到皮塔天堂就可以啦

483
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,510
- 我们急需您的帮助  - 为什么

484
00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:47,630
Scully和Hitchcock呢

485
00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:50,400
在忙 忙着帮Hitchcock掏耳朵

486
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,970
没错 你有见过这里任何一个卖麻醉毒品吗

487
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:57,290
这好正式啊

488
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,790
没错 就是他 三号

489
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,330
就是之前抓的忧郁男

490
00:19:01,330 --> 00:19:03,040
行 好了

491
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,740
我们需要给你录份口供

492
00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:07,030
- 别漏掉任何细节  - 当真

493
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,430
- 嗯  - 太棒了

494
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,470
好吧 事情是这样的

495
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:13,940
呃 当时我在家附近溜达

496
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:16,040
骑着"丹车"  我的自行车

497
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,240
我知道我们错了

498
00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:20,180
的确 我们是该按规章办事

499
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:24,550
而更重要的是 我们应该帮助每个人 无论如何

500
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:26,150
说得不错

501
00:19:26,150 --> 00:19:27,920
逮捕行动做得很好

502
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,690
那年我接种了疫苗

503
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:31,490
但还是感染了流感

504
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,460
哇

505
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:34,990
别难过了 兄弟

506
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,020
- 会好起来的  - 不 不会的

507
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:39,370
你不可能每分每秒都伴随着我的

508
00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,270
我真的爱上了这个女人

509
00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:43,370
然后就会情痴Boyle 把她吓跑的

510
00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:45,540
不会的 我们一起想办法 好吗

511
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,930
- 你的手机还在我这 这事解决了  - 嘿 嘿 嘿

512
00:19:47,930 --> 00:19:49,590
感觉我们要被抢劫啦

513
00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:51,140
我要停一下

514
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,040
爆胎了

515
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,780
钱包给我

516
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,750
警察 你已因持械抢劫被捕了

517
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,090
枪口往左移一点 charles

518
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:01,570
对 因为胡椒喷雾 我视力不咋地

519
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,590
嘿 出租车司机在审讯室

520
00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,530
- 你准备好没  - 走吧

521
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:11,180
噢 不是吧 怎么回事

522
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:12,760
怎么回事

523
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,280
我看了你手机

524
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,700
Vivian给你发了一大堆短信 说很担心你

525
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:18,340
还有张我这辈子都无法摆脱的自拍照

526
00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:20,070
还有几十个语音留言

527
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,640
嘿 查尔小兔子 是我

528
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,810
你昨晚匆匆忙忙地走 举止又很奇怪

529
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:28,050
我很担心 是因为我太急进了

530
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:28,930
我很想见你

531
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:32,120
我知道现在是凌晨三点 可不如我们穿着内衣裤

532
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,350
- 互喂沙拉三明治吧  - 好了

533
00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:35,990
我一听就知道了

534
00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:37,060
她也情痴Boyle了

535
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:38,290
Boyle的情痴Boyle

536
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:39,760
我自作主张给她发了短信

537
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,230
让她来这里见你

538
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:43,600
我猜你可能想送她这个

539
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,600
或者更好点的

540
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,130
这绝对不是白金的

541
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,600
你觉得这样好吗

542
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,070
老实说 我不知道

543
00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:52,010
但你肯定吓不跑她了

544
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,530
就做能让你最开心的事吧

545
00:20:53,530 --> 00:20:55,100
Jakey 你最好了

546
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:58,580
你怎么浑身发抖啊

547
00:20:58,580 --> 00:21:00,090
我太兴奋了

548
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,250
- 我愿意  - 真的吗

549
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:04,580
真的

550
00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:08,650
Charles竟然订婚了

551
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:10,750
干得不错啊 Peralta

552
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,260
我收回那些说你不成熟的话

553
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:16,060
噢 我接受你的道歉 放屁兽

554
00:21:16,060 --> 00:21:18,100
好吧

555
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,230
- 噢噢  - 不是吧

556
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:20,470
- 噢天啊  - 好吧

557
00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:22,410
看来要上演场活色生香的真人性秀

558
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:23,710
- 呃 走吧  - 噢 不是啊

559
00:21:23,710 --> 00:21:25,200
我不是说这样不好啊

560
00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:26,440
- Jake  - 来了

561
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,680
但是他们看不见我们啊

562
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:30,730
- Jake  - 来了