1
00:00:01,790 --> 00:00:05,520
所以 你还是辩解说 一位神秘的陌生人

2
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:08,310
递给你这把枪 沾到你的指纹后

3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,630
抢了这家店 再把这枪藏到你内裤里

4
00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:12,790
是 你要是这样说

5
00:00:12,790 --> 00:00:13,950
听起来倒不那么可信了

6
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,180
嘿 警监

7
00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:16,920
你看了我关于Finley杀人案的报告吗

8
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,500
我看了 写得不错

9
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,700
好 谢了 老爸

10
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,290
为什么大家都盯着我看

11
00:00:24,330 --> 00:00:26,060
你刚刚管Holt警监叫"老爸"

12
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,130
你说"谢了 老爸"

13
00:00:27,130 --> 00:00:28,940
啥 我没有 我说的是"谢了 哥们"

14
00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:30,830
我在你心目中是父亲的形象吗 Peralta

15
00:00:30,870 --> 00:00:33,870
不 倒不如说 你在我心目中是负担的形象

16
00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:35,200
因为你老是给我增负担

17
00:00:35,210 --> 00:00:37,510
嘿 跟你父亲放尊重点

18
00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:38,850
我没叫他老爸

19
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:40,740
没事 没事 Jacob

20
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:41,940
我把它当做一种夸赞

21
00:00:41,980 --> 00:00:43,160
不是什么大事

22
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,790
我有次管Vivian叫了妈妈 她是我的未婚妻

23
00:00:45,820 --> 00:00:47,380
大家 看看这家伙

24
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,920
Boyle有性心理障碍

25
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,090
旧消息了

26
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,090
但是你叫Holt"爸爸"

27
00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:54,190
喂 现在说的可不是"爸爸"

28
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,260
但是你确实叫他"老爸"了 伙计

29
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,280
你闭嘴 你在这儿除了撒谎啥都没干

30
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,160
好吧好吧 关于持枪抢劫我是撒谎了

31
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,760
但是你叫老爸这事儿是真的

32
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,620
啊哈

33
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,830
他承认他的辩解是说谎

34
00:01:04,870 --> 00:01:09,150
刚刚是个陷阱 是我疯狂邪恶计划的一部分

35
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,780
- 我相信你 - 谢谢

36
00:01:10,810 --> 00:01:12,340
儿子

37
00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:13,610
你想待会儿谈谈这事吗

38
00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:16,680
警察抓小偷游戏结束后

39
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:17,620
正合我意

40
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,070
神烦警探
第一季 第十八集

41
00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:40,100
休息日你们能来 非常感谢

42
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,140
我知道你们都想窝在家里享受

43
00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:46,480
哦 我刚开始看第二季

44
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,680
不准剧透

45
00:01:47,710 --> 00:01:49,910
但是这些评估很重要

46
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,180
长官 我想代表大家说句话

47
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,580
她完全不代表

48
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:57,390
我是说我们迫不及待想听到你关于我们的评判

49
00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,920
哦 这次是自评 Santiago

50
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,190
怎么能这

51
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,190
这么棒 长官

52
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,190
改得漂亮

53
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,270
还有 别打扰那些周末班组的

54
00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:10,000
他们值班 办公室就是他们的

55
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,030
我讨厌那些周末班组

56
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:13,410
Lohank探员在我桌子上刮胡子

57
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:14,940
毛掉的一电脑都是

58
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:16,770
我的R键都被胡茬卡住了

59
00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:20,720
怪不得邮件你发成"Guesome杀恩案"

60
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,410
解散

61
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,560
这些评估让我好激动啊 长官

62
00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:26,880
我迫不及待想听听你怎么评价我的班组了

63
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,620
我觉得他们这年干得不错

64
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:30,590
我觉得自己像是一只自豪的老母鸡

65
00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:32,760
小鸡宝宝正在学习如何飞翔

66
00:02:32,790 --> 00:02:34,320
有趣的类比 队长

67
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,860
众所周知鸡不太会飞

68
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哟

69
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:39,530
Peralta要求第一个来

70
00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:41,930
显示了他对待工作的认真程度

71
00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:43,530
不是 我只想早点结束

72
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:44,870
我逮捕了72人

73
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:47,340
破案率有80%

74
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:49,640
最重要的是

75
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,370
我时不时会戴领带

76
00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:53,090
现在 我要问的是

77
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,050
我怎么才能借到43万美金

78
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,050
你要那么多钱干嘛

79
00:02:58,050 --> 00:02:59,550
我要买下自己的公寓

80
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,980
自从奶奶去世后

81
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:02,820
我一直住在奶奶的合作公寓里 因为租金廉价

82
00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:04,450
现在那房子要被收回了

83
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:05,770
所以我要买下来

84
00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:08,590
到截止日期前我要弄到贷款

85
00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:10,690
所以我们是线上汇款呢

86
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:11,960
还是现金交易方便些呢

87
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,060
现金吧

88
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,500
你不应该找找别人要大额贷款吗

89
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,500
比如说 银行

90
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,660
是 我试过了

91
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,680
Jake 我不敢相信你要失去你奶奶的公寓了

92
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,600
我们一起长大  每天放学后都在那儿玩耍

93
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,620
是的 因为没人看管我们

94
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,320
因为我俩的妈妈都要上班 还有

95
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,450
我们没有爸爸

96
00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:39,560
因为离婚

97
00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:42,090
Peralta 我不会因为你略显凄惨的童年

98
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:44,100
就给你残羹剩饭的施舍

99
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:46,200
自己解决你的住房危机

100
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,900
我能和他一起吗

101
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:51,980
是他奶奶塑造了今天美丽智慧的我

102
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:54,570
这样描述奶奶给你的影响可真诡异

103
00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:55,640
抱歉 Gina

104
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,110
没人能替你的活

105
00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,140
目前她就记了

106
00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:01,380
"馅饼 大西洋城 避孕"

107
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:02,810
那是我的旅游日记

108
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,650
我还没有开始记呢

109
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,620
你和Peralta一起去吧

110
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:08,580
- 谢谢  - 谢谢

111
00:04:08,590 --> 00:04:10,790
今晚我想带Vivian去些浪漫的地方

112
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:12,000
这个怎样

113
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,160
格拉齐奥洛餐厅

114
00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:15,590
猪猪消化晚餐

115
00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:18,410
以猪的消化系统为食材的美食之旅

116
00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:21,000
两人份的盲肠冰淇淋 有人要吗

117
00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:22,530
哦 注意

118
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:23,560
周末组来了

119
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:29,550
真替你难过

120
00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:31,010
我爱我的办工桌伙伴

121
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:34,840
有时候Kearns警探和我互留礼物

122
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:36,310
是

123
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,690
Lohank就是一留胡茬的猴子

124
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,550
我讨厌他 还有他一团糟的脸

125
00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:41,420
干嘛不告诉他别在桌子上刮胡子了

126
00:04:41,450 --> 00:04:43,950
他不承认 我不知道为什么

127
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:44,860
下次我要抓个正着

128
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:46,360
我要朝他嘴上狠揍一拳

129
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,920
让他痛彻心扉

130
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:50,790
这大概就是为什么他不肯承认的原因吧

131
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,830
对哦 可能是这样

132
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:55,660
哇

133
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,770
回到这里感觉太好了

134
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,370
还记得奶奶家装有线电视时

135
00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:03,380
我们看了好多遍

136
00:05:03,410 --> 00:05:05,470
那次睡衣派对啊 我们没有其他选择

137
00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:07,010
- 我们手绑在一起 - 我得说

138
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:09,220
跟你待在这里真有趣 就像小屎候

139
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:10,450
小屎候 不是小时候

140
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,580
我听得出来

141
00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:13,950
好了 也许我们能想出办法

142
00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,380
让你能买下这里

143
00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:16,480
你的银行对账单呢

144
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,850
等等 别急 财政问题开始前

145
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,530
你要来瓶冰镇啤酒吗

146
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,820
好哒

147
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,450
回答我 Goose(经典台词)

148
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,360
我们咋样

149
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,530
很性感 但完全不是有意为之

150
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:29,630
我们的确是在装酷

151
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,470
但是显得自然潇洒

152
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,530
不 这些我知道

153
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,530
我是说钱的事情

154
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,440
哦 我的第一印象是

155
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,740
你有花钱大手大脚的毛病

156
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,920
Jake 你有六张按摩椅

157
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,920
谁让他们不生产按摩沙发的

158
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,720
好吧 你还有三个电唱盘

159
00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:48,150
是啊 我在学习打碟

160
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,820
来瞅瞅

161
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,560
我只有奶奶的老犹太歌曲唱片

162
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,990
也没搞懂怎么合上拍子

163
00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,090
但还凑合 对不

164
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,260
糟透了

165
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,370
听着像Joy Behar从楼梯上摔下来

166
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:08,800
你还点播了12次

167
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:11,410
这电影你看不懂吗

168
00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:12,740
不 就是看了很多遍

169
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,240
好了 摊牌吧

170
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,500
要是我想留着这房子 得节约多少开支

171
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:19,180
百分之无穷大

172
00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,710
事实上 你已经破产了 老兄

173
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,020
听着很糟啊

174
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,890
非常糟

175
00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:26,590
我喊"老兄"只是为了减轻对你的打击 老兄

176
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,270
这太不公平了

177
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:32,770
我在这房子住了15年了

178
00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:35,710
一夜之间 招呼都不打一声就要被收回了

179
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,450
不事先通知的话好像是违法的

180
00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:39,980
其实 可能是我错过了通知

181
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:41,020
不过也不一定啦

182
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,800
对了 去翻翻邮缸

183
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,970
邮缸

184
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,580
不 不是

185
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:46,600
不是

186
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:49,310
瞧见没 在这儿要找东西根本不可能

187
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,270
可不能怨我

188
00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:51,880
这个小浴室其实挺酷的

189
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,610
这么赞的猫爪浴缸

190
00:06:53,650 --> 00:06:56,010
我再也不会往里面扔信件了

191
00:06:56,010 --> 00:06:57,620
除非

192
00:06:57,620 --> 00:07:00,420
我不想出此下策 但确实有个筹钱的方法

193
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,190
你当鸭会很不错

194
00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:04,020
我当鸭会一炮而红

195
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:06,720
其实我是想说 我认识个叫Frank的家伙

196
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,460
他有点让人讨厌 但是会给任何人放贷

197
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,160
所以他是个放高利贷的

198
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,800
或许你还没想清楚

199
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,130
这话竟然出自订婚八次的女人之口

200
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,000
但我没结过一次婚

201
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,020
时 间 到 我赢了

202
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,840
好吧 我别无他法了

203
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,910
所以 走起

204
00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:25,880
长官 我知道开头不太顺利

205
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,680
为了让一切回到正轨

206
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,950
我想下一个让Santiago来

207
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,450
过去一年她成绩斐然

208
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:32,490
长官 你们想见我

209
00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:34,380
我刚才隔着窗户读警长的唇语

210
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:36,940
他要么说了"下一个让Santiago来"

211
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:39,080
要么说了"下个上帝压狗来"啥的

212
00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:41,000
你的自我评估准备好了吗

213
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:43,460
准备好了

214
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:46,360
根据上星期读的一次唇语 我了解到

215
00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:49,510
您打算问我们每人十个问题

216
00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:50,770
一般人是

217
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:54,870
对于你 我只有一个问题

218
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,570
说说你最大的

219
00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:59,210
缺点

220
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:01,650
我最大的缺点

221
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:05,280
工作太认真

222
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,920
太细心

223
00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:11,090
太热心

224
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,290
懂了

225
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:14,330
完全不是这些

226
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,100
Rosa 快看

227
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,290
Lohank在剃胡子了

228
00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:37,700
不 要 啊

229
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:38,890
Boyle 去叫救护车

230
00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:39,930
我要对他采取点措施了

231
00:08:39,950 --> 00:08:42,620
或者 以其人之道还治其人之身

232
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,990
在他的储物柜里塞满剃须膏和碎毛发

233
00:08:45,990 --> 00:08:47,290
我喜欢

234
00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:50,530
不敢相信我竟然会考虑非暴力措施

235
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,660
而且我知道从哪里搞到一堆碎毛发

236
00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:56,320
你要收多少利息

237
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,720
听着 我不是银行

238
00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:59,190
这是我的私有资金

239
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:01,520
所以抽头要得高

240
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,520
20个百分点

241
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,130
抽头 太酷了

242
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,210
其实 我借得不多

243
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,840
大概 只要43万美金

244
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,260
不 太多了

245
00:09:09,270 --> 00:09:13,040
我做小额贷款 给那些绝望的失败者

246
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,390
以及像你这样的朋友

247
00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:16,530
好了 很高兴这一切很不顺利

248
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:19,120
我们得走了 失陪

249
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,340
等一下 我只要够钱向合作公司理事会

250
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,840
证明我能向银行付清首付就行

251
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,360
两万美金怎么样

252
00:09:24,370 --> 00:09:26,140
两袋通心面

253
00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:28,140
这个没问题

254
00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:29,380
"通心面"

255
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:31,280
来吧 Gina 多赞呀

256
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,350
入伙吧

257
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:34,370
来吧 Gnia 入伙吧

258
00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,770
Jake 他是一个伪装的海巫

259
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:38,380
别被卖了还替他数钱

260
00:09:38,390 --> 00:09:40,990
我不知道你刚说的什么

261
00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:42,690
哦 可怜的小美人鱼

262
00:09:42,690 --> 00:09:44,390
你干的什么蠢事

263
00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:51,200
冷血复仇是让你微笑的不二法门啊

264
00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:57,040
现在 上主菜

265
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,010
一大包头发

266
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,080
呃 真恶心

267
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,110
真完美

268
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:08,020
哦 看 看这个

269
00:10:10,650 --> 00:10:13,160
我是Tom Selleck 我的直升机停在沙滩上

270
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,790
我是一头公山羊

271
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,570
我刚刚吞了一坨陌生人的头发

272
00:10:27,370 --> 00:10:29,300
Henders先生 公寓之王

273
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:32,210
Jake 合作公司理事会会议是一小时前的事了

274
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,060
我知道 非常抱歉

275
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,110
只是因为警务缠身 你懂的

276
00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,680
和我的警局小伙伴

277
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,480
帮助像你这样的平民百姓

278
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,330
保证你们安全

279
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,490
感谢你们的服务

280
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:45,790
感谢您的夸奖

281
00:10:45,790 --> 00:10:49,090
听着 我知道有很多关于我财政状况的误解

282
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:51,690
但是我准备好让那些都消停了

283
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:53,450
- 出大招 美金炸弹接好 - 天呐

284
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:55,330
这是两万美金

285
00:10:55,330 --> 00:10:57,580
我打算用它做按揭的首付

286
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:58,930
你从哪弄来的钱

287
00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:00,000
以前就有了

288
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,500
你已经有资格租这个房子了

289
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,800
- 有资格 - 但是最迟今天提交完整的申请

290
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:04,940
附带银行贷款证明

291
00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:07,450
恕我直言 先生 这不公平

292
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:09,980
我是说 上周我才知道这房子要被合作公司收回了

293
00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:10,680
我只收到了一封通知信

294
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:12,680
还有15条语音留言

295
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,740
啊 语音留言 怪不得

296
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,590
我这代人喜欢发短信

297
00:11:16,590 --> 00:11:18,120
我只有33岁 所以

298
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,940
我们是一代人 我31岁

299
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,360
31岁

300
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,820
但是我叫你"先生"

301
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:25,590
你穿这身西装 还有

302
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,160
这个

303
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,910
你这是在指我的秃顶吗

304
00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:30,200
- 没 - 听着

305
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,870
我们要把公寓放到寻租市场

306
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,600
要准备妥当交给中介来宣传

307
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,370
下周五前你要搬出去

308
00:11:35,410 --> 00:11:38,010
下周五我有点不方便

309
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:41,450
有可能改到八年后的下周日吗

310
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:44,280
有鉴于你这鄙视的眼神

311
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,150
我还是收回我的美金炸弹吧

312
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:48,720
大招收回

313
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,720
收回

314
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,150
你头发挺 茂盛的

315
00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:53,720
- 别  - 好吧

316
00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:00,330
噢 行不通吗

317
00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:01,790
我要无家可归了

318
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,220
无家可归的条子

319
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:04,560
就像电影电视里演的一样

320
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,730
可惜我看不了

321
00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:06,990
我要没电视了

322
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,360
没家哪来电视

323
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,860
振作一点 傻小子

324
00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:11,960
首先 你可以用手机看啊

325
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,740
其次 又不是只有这一套公寓可以住

326
00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:16,080
再给你找一套就好了

327
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,000
说得对

328
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,430
你说得对 太对了

329
00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:20,870
兴许我能找到更好的呢

330
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,900
- 对 妞  - 在一个更棒的社区

331
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:24,010
是呀 妞

332
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,540
兴许还有个可爱的邻居

333
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,850
就是这样 妞

334
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,310
别叫我妞了

335
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:29,490
抱歉 妞

336
00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:31,950
行了 长官

337
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:34,580
我知道你为什么不喜欢我的自评

338
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,180
你不希望我说那些文过饰非的缺点

339
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:40,530
就像警长老说自己健身太多是很糟糕的事情一样

340
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,820
喔 干嘛要说到我

341
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:43,390
抱歉

342
00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:44,890
不过那是不对的

343
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:48,630
因为您一直标榜要诚实谦逊为先

344
00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:50,500
那么你的最大缺点是

345
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:52,200
我的最大缺点

346
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,210
我太争强好胜 善妒他人

347
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,670
有点不解风情

348
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,880
墨守陈规

349
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,010
不善言笑

350
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:01,350
而且时不时总抽烟

351
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:03,720
你是要这效果吗

352
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,210
我还能继续的

353
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,930
我浑身都是缺点

354
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:08,620
- Santiago  - 噢 不好

355
00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:10,180
你降低声调说我名字

356
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:11,290
你失望了

357
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,790
好吧

358
00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:14,720
我要去秘密地点

359
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,090
去查查有没有人在那里抽烟

360
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,690
很快回来

361
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,400
这是战前建筑吧

362
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:21,600
眼力劲不错

363
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,570
告诉你 这里可以养宠物的

364
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,370
是吗 可以养猫吗

365
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,410
你这算是挖苦吗

366
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,440
好吧

367
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:33,090
床都放不进怎么睡啊

368
00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:36,010
折叠床嘿

369
00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,010
瞧

370
00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,180
别了

371
00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:39,550
这很炫酷哎

372
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,340
层高很高 窗户又多

373
00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:45,850
Gina 厕所在大厅中央

374
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:47,020
我觉得很性感哎

375
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:52,160
什么时候能见他遭报应

376
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,100
通常 Lohank去健身房时就会去开柜子的

377
00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,900
去看看他啥时候会去健身呗

378
00:13:57,930 --> 00:14:00,070
Lohank 我读到篇文章

379
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:01,720
讲健身的好处的

380
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:02,670
你今天去健身房吗

381
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,910
今天算了 刚在电话上和我老婆Nancy吵了好几次

382
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,710
我们婚姻有问题

383
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,080
是吗 因为你不讲卫生吗

384
00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:11,980
啥 我倒想

385
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,200
一年前 她从楼梯上摔下

386
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,180
伤了她的背

387
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:16,150
哦 不是吧

388
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:17,920
现在她有止痛药上瘾的问题

389
00:14:17,950 --> 00:14:19,460
我们一直吵啊吵

390
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,760
我只是想帮助她 懂吗

391
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,230
我猜我只是爱她太深

392
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,910
可她却放弃治疗

393
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,530
昨晚我们又吵上了

394
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,380
我出去透了口气

395
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:32,400
却忘了关门

396
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,770
我们养的狗桂桂跑出去了

397
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,940
喔 不是吧

398
00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:37,280
桂桂被一个醉驾的家伙撞了

399
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,110
我真希望桂桂的痛苦能快点了结

400
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:45,280
但是兽医说她受的苦 持续又加剧

401
00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,310
抱歉

402
00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:48,080
我情绪有点止不住 我想你们能

403
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,490
当然

404
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,080
有困难尽管找我们

405
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,390
Charles 能单独和你聊聊吗

406
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:54,790
好

407
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,690
首先我有个问题

408
00:14:56,690 --> 00:15:00,060
你们干嘛要一起做自评

409
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,200
Scully应对不了太大压力

410
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,100
嗯

411
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,500
- 嗯  - 不是我自夸

412
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:10,000
Scully和我总共加一块儿抓捕成功14次

413
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,410
本来会有20次的 不过只有14次算数

414
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,480
这个数字哪够

415
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:15,210
没人问你意见啊

416
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:16,640
不是自评吗

417
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,680
走吧 Scully

418
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,750
我想快点来着

419
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,360
但是一抓头发它们就散开了

420
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:27,720
要领是手要像铲子一样使

421
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,660
这样

422
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:32,430
你们这是在做什么啊

423
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,530
我相信一定有合理解释吧 长官

424
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,860
我们不小心把自己的毛发和剃须膏落到这个柜子里了

425
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:39,800
所以我们要清洁下

426
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,640
Lohank探员还没遭够罪吗

427
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,970
他刚刚拿到诊断说有前列腺癌

428
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,010
他是受够了

429
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,340
现在给我搞干净

430
00:15:47,340 --> 00:15:48,630
是 长官

431
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,980
你们什么毛病

432
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,850
我快对自己班组失去掌控了

433
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:58,520
我们不能开灯吗

434
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:00,290
要省电啊 Gina

435
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,990
你还开着按摩椅呢

436
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:04,160
我穷不代表我是野人

437
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,900
天 我该怎么办

438
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,860
不如我买下这公寓

439
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,640
你说什么呀

440
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,130
那样我就可以租给你直到你找到新公寓

441
00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:13,270
啥

442
00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:14,440
你怎么买得起这地方

443
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,670
你贩毒吗

444
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,170
我很节俭好不好

445
00:16:17,170 --> 00:16:19,470
我自己理发 上班用走的

446
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,210
中午我就吃Scully的午饭

447
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,180
我从20岁起就租住在一个蜗居没动过

448
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,780
就因为便宜

449
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:27,250
我钱都省下来了

450
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,260
我在房地产里找投资机会

451
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,390
唷 房地产投资机会

452
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:32,650
你认真的吗

453
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:34,320
今早我们还一起喝瓶装啤酒呢

454
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,260
我是说我可以给你开个公道的租金

455
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:37,690
因为我要做你房东啊

456
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,160
你要做我房东

457
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,230
你是Gina吧

458
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:43,530
你的终身梦想是要玩换妻

459
00:16:43,530 --> 00:16:45,030
你管口香糖叫"牙医"

460
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:46,940
你觉得Ray J是国宝人物

461
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:49,240
那又怎样 不拘一格就是我

462
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:51,570
你不比我好 好吗

463
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:53,640
我很高兴自己还是这里主人

464
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,240
因为这样我就能请你离开了

465
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,710
长大吧 Jake

466
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,210
"长大吧 Jake"

467
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:01,730
天呐

468
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,520
对对 谢谢你帮忙哦

469
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,320
就像小时候

470
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,090
我不和你说"小屎候"了

471
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:12,100
你还好吗

472
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,200
好

473
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,470
就是查看下我的新卧室

474
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,610
很好

475
00:17:17,610 --> 00:17:19,270
睡着好似脊柱弯曲

476
00:17:19,270 --> 00:17:20,880
闻着好似无数屁香泛起

477
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,850
我看是你公寓的事搞砸了吧

478
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,850
什么时候起大家都决定要做成年人了

479
00:17:24,850 --> 00:17:27,280
我知道你一出生就50岁了 但是拜托

480
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,280
谢谢

481
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:28,770
听好了

482
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:31,220
Gina提出买下我奶奶的公寓

483
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:32,890
作为房地产投资机会

484
00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:34,430
并成为我的房东

485
00:17:34,430 --> 00:17:35,440
- Jake  - 我懂

486
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,650
她只是想帮忙

487
00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:38,230
但我们打小就认识

488
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:38,960
知道吗

489
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,460
我帮她找到这份差事

490
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,530
就连冰激凌筒都能干她的活

491
00:17:42,530 --> 00:17:44,770
现在呢 我却发现她这些年一直在省钱

492
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,330
- Jake  - 我懂

493
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:48,040
我其实只是在气自己

494
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,870
不争气搞砸一切

495
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:52,270
我去找Gina谈谈 谢谢你帮忙 Amy

496
00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:54,710
我一句也没说 别归功于我 也别归罪于我

497
00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:56,400
想想我以前做的事儿 你算聪明的

498
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,150
等一下

499
00:17:58,150 --> 00:18:00,350
你觉得Holt会觉得我最大的缺点在哪里

500
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,620
谁管Holt怎么想

501
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:03,120
最重要的是

502
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,990
我觉得你最大缺点是什么

503
00:18:04,990 --> 00:18:06,660
那可是有一大堆缺点可选

504
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,920
争强好胜 善妒他人

505
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,190
不解风情

506
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,480
你还是大烟枪

507
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,760
- 天呐  - 但是你最大的缺点是

508
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,700
你无法神不知鬼不觉的丢掉秘密笔记

509
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,600
今天真有趣

510
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,040
尽管我确信自己从那堆头发上染了些虱子

511
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,710
警察可是高危职业

512
00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:27,930
不过我还是入警了

513
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:30,180
是挺有趣 要喝一杯吗

514
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:31,680
哦 我想啊 但我约了Vivian

515
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,640
吃浪漫猪大肠盛餐

516
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:34,850
嘿 Rosa

517
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,220
我想道歉

518
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,820
过去的一年里和我在一起

519
00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:38,920
都是很无趣的事

520
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,520
你看我 老约你出去

521
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,720
闻你头发

522
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,360
还近距离盯着你看

523
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,690
- 是 你就是个怪人  - 嗯

524
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:46,360
不过你也很酷

525
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,460
现在你爱上别人了

526
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,530
祝你晚餐愉快

527
00:18:49,570 --> 00:18:51,000
哦 一定

528
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:52,630
他们用尾巴做了冰糕呢

529
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:53,960
回见

530
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:58,640
抱歉 警监

531
00:18:58,640 --> 00:18:59,640
你干嘛 警长

532
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,040
我要好好说说你

533
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,950
又不想Santiago读我唇语

534
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:03,980
什么

535
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:07,550
你今天对我的班组成员完全不公正

536
00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:10,020
Santiago是你手下最好的警探之一

537
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:13,150
你却只和她玩心理游戏

538
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,690
Scully和Hitchcock抓了14个罪犯

539
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,260
这可比去年多了8个

540
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,090
他们去年只抓了6个吗

541
00:19:19,130 --> 00:19:21,110
我知道Peralta小孩子气

542
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,760
但在咱这片区的领头人

543
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:25,030
自从你来了以后他可是长大了不少

544
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,770
好了 警长 坐下说

545
00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:28,800
现在我要给你做评估

546
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,040
Jeffords警长

547
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,240
你说得对

548
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,410
我对手下很严厉

549
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,670
你是个好领导

550
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:41,070
你能站出来为他们说话这点

551
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:44,280
是他们敬重你的原因之一

552
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,160
我能从你身上学到很多

553
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:49,490
你有资格感觉自己是 呃

554
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:51,470
你早上怎么说来着的

555
00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:52,970
自豪的老母鸡 长官

556
00:19:52,970 --> 00:19:54,630
自豪的

557
00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:57,770
老母鸡

558
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,140
你要干嘛 Jake

559
00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:03,770
我在看

560
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:06,810
每次被密友伤了心后必看节目

561
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,350
我是来道歉的

562
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:14,280
听着 因为你比我更稳重我就生你气 对你是不公平的

563
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,120
我觉得自己很蠢 所以我出格了

564
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:16,690
对不起

565
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,220
是啊 你是很蠢

566
00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:20,260
你也应该觉得抱歉 Jake

567
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:25,260
不过看奥普拉和她最好的女性朋友们一起吃早午餐

568
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,230
教会了我要能原谅他人

569
00:20:27,230 --> 00:20:28,330
很好

570
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:30,040
还有你该买下我奶奶的公寓

571
00:20:30,070 --> 00:20:31,130
不是为我

572
00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:32,530
你该住那里

573
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:35,210
你喜欢那里 你自己都说这是笔好投资

574
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,300
那你住哪里

575
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:37,570
这儿

576
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,740
你从你这里转租

577
00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:40,050
我算了一下

578
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,410
我付的房租是一样的

579
00:20:41,410 --> 00:20:42,940
而你可以有笔小赚头

580
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,750
这只是起步公寓 是我不该33岁才开始起步独立

581
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,780
- 一言为定  - 好

582
00:20:49,820 --> 00:20:51,060
握手手吧

583
00:20:51,090 --> 00:20:52,490
好耶

584
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,560
你好 警探

585
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:57,890
你打断我喝汤 是有什么原因吗

586
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:58,730
有

587
00:20:58,730 --> 00:21:01,830
我准备好自评了

588
00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:02,930
我问了Peralta

589
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,630
你会觉得我的最大缺点是什么

590
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:07,800
他说"谁管Holt怎么想"

591
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:08,840
这不奇怪

592
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,470
他很不尊敬我

593
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,770
不过他是对的

594
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,980
我最大的缺点就是太在意你怎么看我了

595
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:17,190
我应该对自己的判断有自信

596
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,280
这点我就很自信

597
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,360
我都不在意你觉得我对不对

598
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,880
评估完毕

599
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:25,130
好好喝汤吧