1
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恶心 护卫车队

2
00:00:04,180 --> 00:00:05,450
太无聊了

3
00:00:05,450 --> 00:00:06,950
我真心更乐意坐定

4
00:00:06,950 --> 00:00:09,120
听你讲做西班牙什锦饭的正确方法

5
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,320
做什锦饭的正确方法可不止一种 Jake

6
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,580
可以多达十种

7
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,140
- 例如 经典巴伦西亚法 摩登  - 别 等一下

8
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,780
打住 我改主意了 刚才脑子犯浑

9
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,170
嘿 Rosa 我正要找你呢

10
00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:23,300
简单问一句 能把你朋友Katie的号码给我吗

11
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,170
我想约她出去

12
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不行 我不会把私事公事混为一谈

13
00:00:26,050 --> 00:00:27,730
你做梦都别想要到她的号码

14
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是那种"我们会有一个黑人总统"的梦

15
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- 毕竟那梦想成真了  - 春秋大梦

16
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你要是再敢问我一次

17
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你下半辈子就靠吸管吃东西吧

18
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好吧 这个

19
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你在历史的节点上站错了队 这位朋友

20
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Katie呀

21
00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:46,210
难以置信你对Amy的渴求就这么没了

22
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我可是痴情种子

23
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:50,350
我现在还想着Mia

24
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那个送我奶奶最后一程的护士

25
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我知道 你都跟我说了无数遍了

26
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说你奶奶瘫倒在地

27
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意外把Mia的裤子扯掉了

28
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我人生中最美的一天

29
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我对Amy没感觉了

30
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所以 是时候走出阴影

31
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- 张开双翅迎接  - 双腿

32
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走出阴影 张开双腿

33
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其实 都可以的

34
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才不是都可以 只能是双翅

35
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神烦警探 第二季 第三集

36
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注意 车队出了点状况

37
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塞尔维亚总统被滞留在了华盛顿

38
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在他起飞前 我们都无法封锁交叉口

39
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显然他正在和阿尔巴尼亚总统进行着很重要的通话

40
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总统是Bujar Nishani还是原来那个Bamir Topi

41
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Ames 我来查一下吧

42
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嗯 只查到说你这人不讨喜

43
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至少要晚三个小时

44
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Holt警监和我要去警察总局开会

45
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你们时刻做好准备

46
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散会

47
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各位 各位 各位 各位

48
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三个小时延迟 Holt和Terry还都不在

49
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知道这意味着什么吗

50
00:02:04,570 --> 00:02:06,140
- 化妆大变身  - 不对 Charles

51
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,830
- 是夹弟大赛  - 耶

52
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第一届夹弟大赛于2008年举办

53
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那一年伊拉克国王

54
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是伊朗总统

55
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- 爱蛤蟆的内夹德  - 艾哈迈迪内贾德

56
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访问纽约

57
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我们酸爽地待命了九小时

58
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以防有反抗示威

59
00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:23,720
就在当天 一个名叫Jake的天才青年

60
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用他手中最后一块百吉饼

61
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自创了第一项夹弟比赛

62
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百吉饼投怪物嘴

63
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后来的事情就众所周知了

64
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等到Holt和Terry一走

65
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我们就开始第七届夹弟大赛

66
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傻瓜马戏团

67
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夹弟大赛 夹弟大赛

68
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夹弟大赛 夹弟大赛 夹弟大赛

69
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看来我们已经准备好和副局长Wuntch的会议了

70
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你打算开会用这样的坐姿吗

71
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后仰着像是去看戏的

72
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Madeline不整死你才怪

73
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这也不行

74
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双手交叉 置于膝上 像个变态

75
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长官 你紧张什么

76
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片区里出现了一种新型毒品

77
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我们需要更新毒品测试工具包

78
00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:12,530
我们不过是申请一千两百刀

79
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她怎么会不同意

80
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,350
警长 只要是我开的口

81
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Madeline Wuntch什么都会拒绝

82
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呃 用下

83
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这是我的纸巾 Raymond

84
00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:24,800
你要是想打喷嚏 就该自备纸巾

85
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:28,500
长官 她是副局长

86
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,830
我确信她会为片区谋求最大福利

87
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她才不在乎片区

88
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她只在乎打败我

89
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这是一场战争 警长

90
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Wuntch之战

91
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真牛 你连名字都起好了

92
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,710
这个 夹弟大赛

93
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:45,560
今年要来点什么好玩的呢

94
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,010
啊哈 我们可以用Katie的号码作为奖品

95
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,790
不行 这就是你为什么要玩夹弟大赛吗

96
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,890
不是 确实是 但是 你怎么发现的

97
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- 你说了一声"啊哈" 还打了响指  - 啊

98
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你是想约Rosa那个叫Katie的朋友吗

99
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挺好的 她很不错

100
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我也这么觉得 但是Rosa有个破原则

101
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一定要公私分明

102
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,340
那不是什么破原则

103
00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,310
我以前给我姨妈开过一张乱穿马路的罚单

104
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然后我俩的关系一落千丈

105
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- 这样  - 但是Jake和Katie在一起会很配的

106
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就是 她无主 我光棍

107
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她美貌 我如花

108
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就这么定了

109
00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,210
要是我夹弟大赛折冠 你就把她的号码给我

110
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要是我输了 你就不用给我了

111
00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:22,420
我本来就没义务给你

112
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好吧 那我就给你两百刀 而且再也不会向你问号码

113
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成交

114
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你好 Gina

115
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大白天的 你为什么跟我讲话

116
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情况紧急

117
00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,120
我最近一直在用公家的录像机

118
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拍自己的健身录像 改善体型

119
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这也是为什么我手臂如此健壮

120
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,720
但我想起来我把录像带落在相机里

121
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相机不见了

122
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关我屁事

123
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关我屁事 关我屁事

124
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还真关你的事

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Boyle 我钦佩你如此努力的提高床技呢

126
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但是你的问题不在力量

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别哼唧

128
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而且你弯腰后入我的时候

129
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一点都不性感

130
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:07,230
早上有谁检查相机吗

131
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有 Hitchcock

132
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,280
而且他要是知道了 肯定会告诉所有人的

133
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- 你必须拿到那该死的录像带  - 好

134
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我们走了

135
00:05:14,390 --> 00:05:16,890
塞尔维亚总统起飞的时候 给你消息

136
00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:17,790
遵命 警长

137
00:05:17,790 --> 00:05:19,460
我们就在这里等你们回来

138
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:21,810
老老实实安安静静地准备

139
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:22,880
好了 他们走了

140
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,320
盛典百吉饼

141
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,480
酒瓶

142
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点火

143
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:43,050
游戏开始吧

144
00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:54,470
欢迎来到夹弟大赛

145
00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:55,910
我们为荣誉而战

146
00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:58,430
为Rosa朋友的号码而战

147
00:05:58,430 --> 00:05:59,610
最重要的是

148
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,780
为打败Amy而战

149
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,360
- 不 今年我运势很好  - 我也是

150
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,870
别拿我和你相提并论

151
00:06:05,870 --> 00:06:06,430
什么别不别的

152
00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:08,490
你们从来都离第一名远着呢

153
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,410
你们没有区别

154
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:13,050
只是两只Santiagos而已

155
00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:18,250
但是真正的奖品是温彻斯特3000

156
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:19,970
全区仅此一把

157
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:20,870
污渍最少

158
00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:22,300
完美支撑腰部

159
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,640
所有滑轮均完好

160
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,510
接下来交给你了 Gina

161
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,660
多谢 Jake

162
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:28,660
好了 依据惯例

163
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:32,310
每轮最后一名被淘汰

164
00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,180
冠军会在最后一局获得额外奖励

165
00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:37,110
第一轮比赛是

166
00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:39,430
"嘴拉松"

167
00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:43,110
摆在你们面前的是在冰箱里放了一个月的中餐

168
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:46,470
尽情吃 能吃多少吃多少

169
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,070
Mark也作人名 Mark Wahlberg 好莱坞男演员 男主
各就各位

170
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:49,080
预备
Mark也作人名 Mark Wahlberg 好莱坞男演员 男主

171
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,260
开吃
Mark也作人名 Mark Wahlberg 好莱坞男演员 男主

172
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:56,270
我不能这样玷污我的嘴

173
00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:57,780
她是我此生挚爱

174
00:06:57,780 --> 00:06:59,480
Charles惨遭淘汰

175
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,620
呕 这坨汤都烂了

176
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:02,380
我退出

177
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,190
我能行

178
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,190
这次一定要赢

179
00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:07,500
太好了 看这里 让我拍一张

180
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:08,950
噢 真可爱

181
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,860
你鼻尖上沾了一块霉菌呢

182
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,750
我尽力了 真的尽力了 我赢不了他

183
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:19,750
这是免费的 你们知道吧

184
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,630
Wuntch副局长你好

185
00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:24,900
你又老了

186
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:27,410
别站起来 我们就在这外面聊

187
00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:29,130
既然你们已经这么随意了

188
00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,910
Jeffords警长 你怎么不直接躺下呢

189
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:35,040
我已经坐得不能再直了

190
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,270
我们来这里是因为一种在我们辖区出现的

191
00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:39,830
新型强效迷幻药

192
00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:42,500
道上人称 猪咯咯

193
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,710
你人中区域多了块尴尬的斑

194
00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:48,180
就跟第一次见面时你留的胡子一样

195
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:51,180
那胡子在当时很潮的

196
00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:53,860
我们辖区只需要更新毒品检测工具包

197
00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:55,060
就能解决这个问题

198
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,770
这文书写得糟透了

199
00:07:56,770 --> 00:07:59,310
该用冒号的时候用分号

200
00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:01,240
是哪个英文不利索的移民写的吗

201
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:02,890
只是个手误

202
00:08:02,890 --> 00:08:04,060
完全是一派胡言

203
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:06,400
请求驳回

204
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,740
哇 你说得真没错

205
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:14,550
只写错了一个地方而已

206
00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:16,420
你认为那个分号是我写错的吗

207
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:18,530
不 那是一个鲜美的诱饵

208
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:21,800
她张开大口整个囫囵吞下去了

209
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,380
所以你本来就想她拒绝我们

210
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:27,210
用这种上不了台面的借口拒绝一份正当请求

211
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,800
足够她落下把柄在我手上了

212
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:35,260
我偷偷安排了一个和她上司Fisker局长的会面

213
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:38,020
你想听一件很好笑的事情吗

214
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:42,390
我的分离不定式错了 她完全没发现

215
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,130
嘿 哥们

216
00:08:46,130 --> 00:08:48,940
你看过部门录像机里的内容了吗

217
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,460
嗯 我准备带回家 给我的头顶录像

218
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:53,530
我觉得我好像有点秃顶了

219
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,010
不错 酷

220
00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:57,190
我无意落下了一卷录像带在那里面

221
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:58,410
现在能拿回来吗

222
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,140
为什么 你录了啥

223
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:01,150
什么也没有

224
00:09:01,150 --> 00:09:03,670
我就是毫无理由地需要它

225
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,840
这样啊 如果你想拿回录像带

226
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,370
那就得拿点东西来交换

227
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:08,840
你是在勒索我吗

228
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:10,970
我是个穷逼 Hitchcock

229
00:09:11,070 --> 00:09:12,950
我叔叔葬礼上的账单我还没付清呢

230
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:15,400
我不小心和灵车追尾了 当时情况很混乱

231
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,720
我只要你帮我做一件小事

232
00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:20,620
我希望你能把我变成大家眼中的酷逼

233
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,460
这还叫小事

234
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:26,060
马上公布比赛的第一个淘汰者

235
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:29,400
Boyle 你弱爆了

236
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,800
还有Scully警探由于食物中毒而退出比赛

237
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,900
大家应该都能预见到这事

238
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:38,410
好了 第二轮是"胖胖快跑"

239
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:40,420
穿防爆衣跑步比赛

240
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,640
真心希望我不要在比赛里扭伤手臂

241
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,660
因为我和Katie约会时 要帮她开很多扇门呢

242
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,440
没听错 我会尽现绅士风度的

243
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:49,990
你在做什么 Jake

244
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,060
对你放狠话啊

245
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,270
顺便暗示你 我会尊重你朋友的

246
00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:55,580
这台词很难驾驭呢

247
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:58,610
要活动一下准备买花的手指

248
00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,410
我会好好"采"雏菊花的

249
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:03,900
Mark Raffalo 美国演员 在中饰演绿巨人
各就各位

250
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:04,970
预备
Mark Raffalo 美国演员 在中饰演绿巨人

251
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:06,140
开跑
Mark Raffalo 美国演员 在中饰演绿巨人

252
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:09,940
快跑

253
00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:14,640
我在跑呢 Charles

254
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,140
我简直酷毙了

255
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,950
嗷嗷嗷

256
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:23,050
下一轮是"伪装大赛"

257
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:25,870
参赛者必须创造一个伪装形象

258
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:28,870
然后尽可能多地和警员交谈

259
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,100
直到被认出来为止

260
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,650
装孕妇 不错啊

261
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:34,710
证明自己有性生活啊

262
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:37,550
说的没错 不仅有 而且还没做好保护措施

263
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:39,160
- 耶  - 棒

264
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,760
我觉得这个肚子会把人们视线从我脸上吸引过去

265
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,660
- 聪明 大肚子就像单个的大胸  - 没错

266
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:44,620
Jake最先出发

267
00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,170
然后Amy 最后Rosa

268
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:49,310
Mark-Paul Gosselaar 美国演员 代表作

269
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,290
求你了 把录像带给我吧

270
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:53,410
做梦

271
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,190
我不知道怎么让你变酷

272
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,320
我都不能让自己变酷

273
00:10:57,660 --> 00:11:00,240
- 虽然我拥有一个披萨烤盘  - 你认识酷的朋友啊

274
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,130
比如Jake

275
00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:03,350
我只希望在某个对话里

276
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:06,370
Jake提到我的名字 然后没人羞辱我

277
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,580
我靠 你要求太多了

278
00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:10,380
失败了

279
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,660
只骗过了两个人

280
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,630
他动得好厉害 你想摸一摸吗

281
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,450
不 不能摸

282
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:21,890
噢 我的宝宝 偏到一边去了

283
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,880
喔 我骗过了六个人

284
00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:25,900
蠢宝宝

285
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,320
他们说得对 婴儿最讨厌了

286
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,000
嘿 等等 哇哇哇 我想试试这个

287
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,520
体验一下怀孕的感觉

288
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,090
哇噢

289
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:34,550
- 很可爱  - 是吧

290
00:11:34,550 --> 00:11:35,920
真不敢相信我又输了

291
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,420
我明明做好充分准备了 到底怎么回事

292
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:41,940
呃 也许你准备得过度充分了

293
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,990
就像每次我们执行警务的时候

294
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:46,150
你都很聪明 很冷静

295
00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:47,200
井然有序地做你的事

296
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,990
但每次玩这种蠢游戏呢

297
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:51,140
你就很狂躁 跟个发疯的白痴一样

298
00:11:51,490 --> 00:11:54,770
我的建议是 下次别再做发疯的白痴了

299
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,530
多谢 居然说得挺有道理呢

300
00:11:57,530 --> 00:11:59,670
是啊 只能说 做了母亲

301
00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:01,540
真的会让一个男人改变很多

302
00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:05,340
我终于感觉到成了更神圣伟大的人

303
00:12:05,340 --> 00:12:05,980
别说了

304
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:06,750
- 太过了吗  - 是的

305
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:09,180
Peralta 搞什么鬼

306
00:12:09,180 --> 00:12:11,100
你干嘛来着 我被淘汰了

307
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,320
打扰一下啦 警官

308
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,440
- 怎么了 亲爱的  - 亲爱的

309
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:16,650
你在逗我吧 Hank

310
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,480
你就这么和来警局的女人说话

311
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,860
就知道你们在比赛

312
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,500
我连一个人都没骗过去

313
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,530
你出局了 我进决赛了

314
00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:25,880
只要打败Amy就能得到Katie的号码

315
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,260
小菜一碟

316
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,770
嘿 你再敢碰小Amy试试看

317
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:31,330
没错

318
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:33,240
这孩子是你的

319
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:35,340
你是说我把你肚子搞大了

320
00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:36,370
就是你

321
00:12:36,370 --> 00:12:39,510
Jake 我能和你说两句吗

322
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:41,240
当然 拿着

323
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:41,750
好的

324
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:43,860
Jake 你想取消比赛吗

325
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:45,940
什么 你快输了就

326
00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:47,100
打退堂鼓了吗

327
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,190
怎么 这是无规则之河上的船上赌场吗

328
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:52,900
不 我是在给你个台阶下

329
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,860
很明显 你不想要Katie的号码

330
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,530
因为你还没放下Amy

331
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,180
什么 说什么傻话

332
00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,160
我这一整天累死累活

333
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,630
就是为了得到Katie的电话

334
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:02,600
你是花了一整天和Amy调笑吧

335
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,670
是啊 我们闹着玩 因为我们是朋友

336
00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,140
我都放下了

337
00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:07,640
证明给我看

338
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,470
打败Amy 也不和她插科打诨

339
00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:13,080
好啊 简单得很 你得告诉Katie

340
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,880
把周四空出来和我约会

341
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,710
因为我那天之前都得加班

342
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:18,350
那周末又得出差

343
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:20,220
放马过来吧

344
00:13:22,810 --> 00:13:24,440
嘿 Jake 问你个问题

345
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,560
我打败你后

346
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,380
应该用哪种舞姿庆祝呢

347
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:28,110
这样

348
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:31,620
还是这样

349
00:13:33,450 --> 00:13:35,150
噢 哇 好的

350
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:40,860
这两种都能庆祝胜利

351
00:13:40,890 --> 00:13:41,980
你居然不回击我

352
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:44,880
那些舞姿可闪瞎眼啊

353
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,530
你一定很紧张

354
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,030
没错

355
00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,100
- 嘿 Jake  - 嘿 Charles

356
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,610
看看这位是谁

357
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:54,760
Hitchcock

358
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,940
我们该走啦

359
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,910
哇

360
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,580
帝王般的感觉

361
00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:06,550
你们一直都是这种感觉吗

362
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,580
我满足了你的要求 把录像带给我

363
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,890
不 还没完呢

364
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,090
下一步 我想让你告诉所有人

365
00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:15,450
你觉得我帅惨了

366
00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:16,460
表现得真实点儿

367
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:18,860
禽兽

368
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,300
那种毒品叫"猪咯咯"

369
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,000
Fisker局长

370
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,130
Jeffords警长 Raymond

371
00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:27,010
Wuntch副局长

372
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:28,840
我不知道你也会来

373
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:29,810
看出来你不知道了

374
00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:33,040
你那捕蝇嘴吓得都闭不上了

375
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,350
我看了他的报告

376
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,000
没有证据显示

377
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,680
猪咯咯会引起严重问题

378
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,720
所以我们就坐等

379
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,510
它流行吗

380
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,780
你就像1936年的国际联盟

381
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,790
觉得埃塞俄比亚抗意战争会凭空消失

382
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:48,160
这就是亚的斯亚贝巴陨落给你的启示

383
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,260
Raymond 你说的话好天真

384
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:54,200
你的语气就像维克托伊曼纽尔三世

385
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:56,900
这场嘴仗是谁赢了

386
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,170
是我

387
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,720
Holt警监 你觉得猪咯咯

388
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,540
到底能造成多大威胁

389
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:03,470
- 很严重的威胁  - 或者成不了威胁

390
00:15:03,510 --> 00:15:05,140
可能成为新的可卡因

391
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,510
新的可卡因

392
00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:08,380
你只要1200刀就能阻止了

393
00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:10,210
更理想的状况下

394
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,750
还需要一些火力支援

395
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,650
有支特遣部队就更好了

396
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,550
不错 就这么办吧

397
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,160
太棒了

398
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,660
我们有了自己的特遣部队

399
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:24,030
更重要的是 Wuntch被我回击了一把

400
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:25,260
天哪

401
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:27,830
Wuntch听起来就像"我想吃"

402
00:15:27,830 --> 00:15:30,410
我以后可以用她名字做文章了

403
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:31,840
你得到特遣部队了

404
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:32,970
我没有料到

405
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,100
这就有趣了 20年了

406
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,540
我以为你习惯我扣你一脸篮了

407
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:37,320
我没有料到的是

408
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,240
你没意识到刚才是怎么回事

409
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,340
你被我激怒了

410
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,900
你夸大了猪咯咯的威胁

411
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:42,510
现在你手里握着

412
00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:43,950
一支开销超大的特遣部队

413
00:15:43,950 --> 00:15:45,910
还是在预算吃紧的关头

414
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:47,820
你最好赶紧完成点大抓捕

415
00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:48,940
不然你就会变成

416
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:51,360
资源浪费的代表人物了

417
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,510
被我 扣篮了

418
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,270
我们抓到人你就抢不着了

419
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:58,230
3分扣篮

420
00:15:58,230 --> 00:15:59,990
你们俩不懂篮球

421
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:02,130
就别用篮球术语了

422
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,290
我们携手欢庆

423
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,220
终于迎来了夹弟大赛的

424
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:07,350
最终决战

425
00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:08,950
障碍赛

426
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,190
祝你好运 你会需要的

427
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,000
没错 我们都需要运气

428
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,900
谢谢祝福

429
00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:17,970
各就各位

430
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,770
Seth Rogen 好莱坞喜剧演员

431
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,720
加油 Amy

432
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:24,340
选手必须先通过障碍栏

433
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:27,660
然后 用弹珠枪打出一包零食

434
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:32,060
你必须吃下整包零食

435
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:39,030
快点 关门 关门 关门 关上啊

436
00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:42,870
接着 下到一楼

437
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,810
在那里找到一个关于霸凌的宣传册

438
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,920
然后 用一个1982年的笔记本

439
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,610
打印一张我的照片

440
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,640
第一个把打印好的照片拿到手的人

441
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,910
就是冠军

442
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:56,780
惊喜障碍

443
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,520
还磨叽什么 Santiago

444
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:04,360
快跑啊

445
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:07,580
你烧到我皮肤了啊啊

446
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:10,200
完好无损的滚轮大招

447
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,470
我做到了 我精心准备

448
00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:17,100
我才不是什么神经病 我赢啦

449
00:17:17,110 --> 00:17:19,320
老娘可算是赢啦

450
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,600
爽啊 赞呀 呵

451
00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:26,980
这是怎么回事

452
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,990
谁来回他话 马上

453
00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:32,550
Santiago

454
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,690
Peralta

455
00:17:34,690 --> 00:17:35,820
Boyle

456
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:37,690
Hitchcock英俊潇洒

457
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,910
哎呀 多谢夸奖 Boyle

458
00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:41,250
没人想说点什么吗

459
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:42,120
队长

460
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,300
您刚才看到的是夹弟大赛

461
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,570
就是一堆用来消遣时光的白痴比赛

462
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,040
都没人在意是谁赢了

463
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,500
是我赢了

464
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,070
这游戏很蠢 但我们还是很喜欢

465
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,640
把这清理干净 马上

466
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,510
Boyle 我准备好进入下一个阶段了

467
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,100
接下来你就要掏我耳朵 等等

468
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,150
你翻我的柜子干嘛

469
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:04,690
我做不到 我没法让你变成酷逼

470
00:18:04,690 --> 00:18:06,190
因为你怕我和Jake

471
00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:07,920
在一起后会排挤你

472
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,140
那你可没猜错

473
00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:10,220
我一定要找到那盘录像带

474
00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:10,970
你以为我会乱放

475
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:13,160
那么贵重的东西吗

476
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,310
我可是随身带着呢

477
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,630
把录像带给我

478
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:19,560
把录像带给我

479
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,370
Jake 救救我

480
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,110
塞尔维亚总统的飞机已经起飞

481
00:18:26,110 --> 00:18:28,210
全体立刻以车队阵容集合

482
00:18:28,210 --> 00:18:29,510
我们走

483
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,010
嗨 你已经尽力了

484
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,050
可惜还是输了

485
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:35,330
不可惜 这样是最好的了

486
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,850
是我让Amy赢的

487
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:38,510
关门 关门 关门 关上啊

488
00:18:38,510 --> 00:18:39,790
开门
关门 关门 关门 关上啊

489
00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:39,840
开门

490
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:44,120
你是对的 我还没放下她

491
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,380
Boyle 出来 我要和Jake谈谈

492
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,240
好吧 再见

493
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,580
我已经把座位暖好啦

494
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:01,090
他的确是把座位暖好了

495
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,740
简直像火炉一样

496
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,430
听着 如果你是来要那两百块的

497
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:06,800
我能用空头支票代替不

498
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,090
不能 我只收现金

499
00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:09,140
好吧

500
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,110
我以为自己对Amy已经没有感觉了

501
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,810
但很明显我还是对她念念不忘

502
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:15,140
我和你一样沮丧

503
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,940
我可不沮丧

504
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:18,720
但这也没有让我开心

505
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,950
对女生念念不忘可不像你的作风

506
00:19:21,950 --> 00:19:23,150
我不知道该怎么办

507
00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:25,930
给Katie打电话 就这么办

508
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,920
放手的唯一方法是牵起别人的手

509
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,020
不管你觉得自己有没有准备好

510
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:31,930
早晚得重回情场 伙计

511
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,270
好吧

512
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,730
谢谢

513
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:36,630
祝你好运

514
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:40,030
你还好吗 长官

515
00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:41,870
我不想大动肝火

516
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:45,140
不过今天是"次理想化"的

517
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,670
不要和其他人说

518
00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:48,510
Muntch打败了我

519
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,740
警队乱作一团

520
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:52,980
到头来 你知道我最跟谁生气吗

521
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,060
你自己吗

522
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,210
不 是Muntch

523
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:57,870
我需要特遣部队才能成功

524
00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:59,480
可这里没有一个警探

525
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,290
成熟到可以指挥特遣部队

526
00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:02,850
Peralta和Santiago是胆小鬼

527
00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:04,690
Diaz粗鲁无礼

528
00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:07,160
我刚刚还看Hitchcock和Boyle

529
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,190
像小孩子一样打架

530
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,630
下来 从我身上下来

531
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,230
Hitchcock 把录像带给我

532
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:13,830
你挤到我的奶子了

533
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:17,540
长官 你是会认为Rosa不尊重你

534
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:19,740
但我觉得她很会鼓舞士气

535
00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:20,970
她做了我本该做的事情

536
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:22,870
站出来 告诉你真相

537
00:20:22,870 --> 00:20:25,180
你想告诉我什么真相

538
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:27,370
首先 其他的人

539
00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:30,180
早就想到"Wuntch我想吃"这个梗了

540
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,520
其次 Wuntch没有打败你

541
00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:34,490
她把特遣部队扣给我了

542
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,690
你觉得她小肚鸡肠吗

543
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,040
你也没好到哪去

544
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:40,950
没错 特遣部队是铤而走险

545
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:44,160
但是它也让我们有机会帮助社区里的人

546
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,870
长官 要我说

547
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:51,040
你才像维克托埃马努埃尔三世

548
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,010
你骂得驴唇不对马嘴

549
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,570
但是

550
00:20:54,610 --> 00:20:59,450
我觉得Madeline让我从原来的目标分了神

551
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,750
因此我觉得应该让Rosa指挥部队

552
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:04,080
她可不会被分神

553
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,020
同意

554
00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:08,920
谢谢 警长

555
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:12,590
而且"Wuntch我想吃"的事你肯定是骗我的

556
00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:14,090
那是我先想出来的

557
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,930
车队怎样了 有暗杀吗

558
00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:20,570
没有 无聊死了

559
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:23,170
谢谢你把录像带拿回来了

560
00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:27,170
终于

561
00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:29,920
那就今晚在我家见了

562
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,830
天哪 恨死你了 别迟到哦