1
00:00:01,670 --> 00:00:02,970
Peralta 你周末过得可好啊

2
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,730
一般般啦 我不过就是

3
00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,250
你错过了Scully的生日

4
00:00:06,790 --> 00:00:08,500
还是很重要的一个

5
00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:10,010
大家却都没有出现

6
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,450
各位各位 我们错过了Scully的生日

7
00:00:13,450 --> 00:00:15,480
- 而且还是很重要的一个  - 没错

8
00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:17,210
我吓得张口就说 我当时在兽医那里

9
00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:19,080
给我家的小猫咪看病

10
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,250
我说的是 我带着我妈去买避孕药了

11
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:22,650
那也比我的借口好

12
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,880
我说我得参加闺女们的犹太成人礼

13
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,820
队员们 我们错过了Scully的生日

14
00:00:26,820 --> 00:00:29,190
而且还是很重要的一个

15
00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:32,130
我跟他们说我当时在厄瓜多尔 他们也信了

16
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,460
我们得补救一下

17
00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:34,630
凑点钱当礼物好了

18
00:00:34,630 --> 00:00:36,300
每个人都交出20块钱

19
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:36,930
那个

20
00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:38,000
知道了 我来替你付

21
00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:39,300
嗨 Scully

22
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,870
咋了

23
00:00:40,870 --> 00:00:43,040
很抱歉我们错过了你的生日聚会

24
00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,470
哦 没关系的 你们不都忙着呢么

25
00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:48,210
没错 厄瓜多尔的首都是基多

26
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:48,960
哦

27
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,650
总之 我们大家都祝你生日快乐

28
00:00:51,650 --> 00:00:53,050
谢谢你们 你们最棒了

29
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,720
- 生日快乐  - 生日快乐啊Scully

30
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:55,620
谢了

31
00:00:57,090 --> 00:01:00,360
太难以置信了 冒牌生日的计划居然成功了

32
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,320
你真是天才

33
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,830
咱俩都是天才

34
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:08,630
图钉马克杯

35
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,330
那是我装图钉的马克杯

36
00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:11,870
神烦警探 第二季 第八集

37
00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:34,460
我是这个特遣队的负责人 一切听我指挥

38
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,990
懂吗 好的

39
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,130
Jackson F线地铁上发现了摇头丸

40
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:39,760
把它带到实验室 看看是不是猪咯咯

41
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,000
Scully和Hitchcock继续写你们的案情报告

42
00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,210
Miller换条新狗去 现在这头真是瞎了狗眼了

43
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,020
好了 分头行动吧

44
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:48,600
嗨 抱歉 抱歉抱歉抱歉 我迟到了

45
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,670
我刚才去熟食店退掉了我的全料百吉饼

46
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,430
谁家卖的"全料"百吉饼里没有牛肉干啊

47
00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:55,360
- 谁家都没有  - 好吧

48
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,310
- 给你说下情况  - 好嘞

49
00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,210
特遣队今天早上抓到了一个卖猪咯咯的毒贩

50
00:01:58,220 --> 00:01:58,940
好耶

51
00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:02,590
他是我们找到的第二个有这种钥匙的人

52
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,550
哟

53
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:07,340
这钥匙八成能打开一个古怪的衣橱兼传送门

54
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:09,990
门那边住满了会说话的蟾蜍和童话故事

55
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,480
很有意思

56
00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,340
这钥匙和邮局有些关系

57
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,150
它上面刻着"美国邮政总局"

58
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:16,700
把这个钥匙带到邮政检查局

59
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:17,330
看看能查出些什么

60
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,400
遵命

61
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,570
还有 一定要全力调查

62
00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:21,570
特遣队最近压力很大

63
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:22,640
我们很需要打一场胜仗

64
00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:23,280
保证完成任务

65
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,210
你是我的朋友 我绝不会让你失望

66
00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:27,510
我会把你撑起来 就像胸罩那样

67
00:02:27,510 --> 00:02:27,910
什么

68
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:31,240
不是 我是指文胸啦 完全是另外一个玩意

69
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:31,640
能别闹么

70
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,220
- 越描愈黑 我们走吧  - 我们走喽

71
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:36,990
Santiago 我需要你周六来帮个忙

72
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:39,560
又来 你这是在逗我吗 老兄

73
00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:43,760
非常抱歉 咱们再来一次

74
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,060
你好哟

75
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:46,260
我的天

76
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:47,500
刚刚怎么回事

77
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:52,270
她的小神经像潮掉的面包棍一样 终于折了

78
00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:54,470
警监 请原谅我的失礼

79
00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:55,770
我表现得暴躁不安

80
00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:58,540
是因为 我在试着戒烟

81
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,870
我再也不想躲着Teddy抽烟了

82
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,500
马上就出来哦 Teddy

83
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,130
我正在忍痛戒烟 整个人都变得

84
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:11,790
- 很焦躁  - 很恐怖

85
00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:13,990
我知道 这事应该由我独自解决

86
00:03:13,990 --> 00:03:16,890
但我很希望你们能帮个忙

87
00:03:16,890 --> 00:03:17,990
盯紧了我

88
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,060
没问题 我们会尽力帮你的

89
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:23,730
或者吧 我干脆帮你安排个疗养院吧

90
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:27,140
你能在那尽情休息 看着漂亮的小船飘过

91
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,540
瞧 这家可是在小岛上呢

92
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,140
好的 我们要找247室

93
00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:34,480
Jack Danger(危险)探员

94
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,380
Jack Danger探员

95
00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:39,520
哇 这名字真是"迪奥爆"

96
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,180
- "屌爆"的代称  - 真是

97
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,490
简直"迪奥爆"

98
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,490
啊 到了

99
00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:45,930
等等

100
00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:48,570
这么酷的人 一定也期待一个同样酷炫的敲门声

101
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,360
这敲门声酷毙了

102
00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:52,490
请进

103
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:56,930
阁下可是Danger

104
00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:58,170
Jack Danger

105
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,330
其实发音应该是"裆儿"

106
00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:01,500
源自一个荷语单词

107
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,170
意思是"资财富足"

108
00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:06,940
哦 Jack Donger

109
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:07,910
也不错

110
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,110
请坐

111
00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:12,880
听说你们需要我们美邮检大哥的帮忙

112
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:13,850
美邮检

113
00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,190
没错 美国邮政检查局

114
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,750
由本杰明富兰克林在1772年创建

115
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,020
堪称人类史上最伟大之壮举

116
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:24,240
你知道让帕尔玛奶酪在美国流行的人也是他吗

117
00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:25,930
我知道

118
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,400
美邮检是执法系统的掌上明珠

119
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,480
1200名检查员们破获的案件

120
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,400
下至邮件诈骗 上至走私水果运输

121
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,500
还有 当然了

122
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,870
偶尔助警察局的小弟们一臂之力

123
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:39,870
你是说"小弟"吗

124
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:44,810
我是个联邦探员嘛 你们不过是个 小片警

125
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,920
不过也不用自卑啦

126
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,980
呃 我们来这里是因为我们找到了这个钥匙

127
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:50,880
- 哇喔  - 正是它

128
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,420
这磨人的小妖精是用来开一种邮筒的

129
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,050
不过那种邮筒已经停用多时了

130
00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:58,530
但是 城里还剩了几个我们一直没拆掉的

131
00:04:58,530 --> 00:04:59,860
那才是绝世倾城

132
00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:01,760
我可以把它们的地址找出来发给你

133
00:05:01,770 --> 00:05:04,290
那真是太好了 来 我的电子邮箱是

134
00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:07,070
哈 呵呵 不要用电邮

135
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,500
我会用"真邮"发给你

136
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,710
也就是 真正的邮件

137
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,840
因为电邮 我的几百号同事都丢了饭碗

138
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,310
自己的兄弟被扫地出门

139
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:18,410
再由机器警察取代的滋味 你们可曾知道

140
00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:20,340
我真的有画过机器警察的草图呢

141
00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:23,250
机器警察有个能装下我的背包

142
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,590
嗨 烟戒得怎样了

143
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,690
我听说嚼口香糖管用

144
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:35,360
虽然我从没吸过烟 但我也是上过瘾的人

145
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:37,970
暴食 场面异常惨烈

146
00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:41,000
你们怎么能打烊

147
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,270
这才六点钟啊

148
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:44,440
哥要吃木须肉

149
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:46,640
给哥木须 喔

150
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:49,980
你知道我是怎么停止暴饮暴食的吗

151
00:05:50,010 --> 00:05:52,410
你是胖到挤不进厨房门了吗

152
00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,950
我学会了压制自己的欲望

153
00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:57,920
我一旦想吃东西了 就会重启自己的系统

154
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,170
准备好重启了吗

155
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,130
每当我有了食欲

156
00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:06,300
我就会一头扎进冰水里并重启大脑

157
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:07,480
看好了

158
00:06:11,790 --> 00:06:13,100
呼

159
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,140
感觉好爽

160
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,310
赞 该你了

161
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,210
- 好吧  - 马上

162
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,380
再来一次

163
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,440
好冷啊 真的好冷啊

164
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,490
最后一次

165
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:34,220
我们觉得毒贩在利用这些旧邮筒

166
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,160
进行猪咯咯的钱物交易

167
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:37,630
干得好 Danger帮上忙了可真好

168
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,300
其实 是叫"裆儿"

169
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,930
尽管他更应该叫"裆炸"

170
00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:43,230
这人真是世界上独一无二的裆炸奇葩

171
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,570
听起来他能帮上很大忙啊

172
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,000
他告诉你们邮筒都在哪里了吧

173
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,430
说了 但他还告诉我们

174
00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:49,650
他是如何缉拿了一个蜗牛走私团伙

175
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:50,640
长达一小时

176
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,590
对 他给我们看了那些蜗牛的照片

177
00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:54,470
还把它们叫做"最小的受害人"

178
00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:58,350
好吧 但愿Donger以后不会这么烦人

179
00:06:58,380 --> 00:06:59,550
是啊 但愿吧

180
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:00,940
等等 "以后"

181
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:01,860
- 没错  - 别

182
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:03,050
- 就是这样  - 别别别别

183
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,250
千万别告诉我 我还要跟那个人一起工作

184
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:06,760
Peralta探员

185
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,760
嗨

186
00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:09,090
你们的片区不错嘛

187
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:11,530
非常有原始风格

188
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,230
在美邮检 每个人都有自己的办公室

189
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:15,100
不过 那也是因为

190
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:18,430
我们是这个国家反恐斗争的第一道防线嘛

191
00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:21,210
每一个包裹都是基地组织潜在目标

192
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,170
噢

193
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:26,880
Rosa Diaz警探 这是我的新搭档 Jack donger

194
00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,880
请叫我Jackie

195
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,990
Jackie donger(玩屌·自拍)

196
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,910
当然啦

197
00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:41,890
哼起来(把它拿走) Peralta

198
00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,890
遵命

199
00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:45,590
你不该那么做的

200
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,120
B面可是有些Sousa难找的金曲呢

201
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,460
感谢上天终于到了 看 那边有个邮筒

202
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:54,550
是啊 那养眼优美的绿色曲线啊

203
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,830
我们应该和那个卖炸肉丸子的小贩聊聊

204
00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:59,300
看看有没有什么可疑情况

205
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:01,570
你们应该让我来主导谈话

206
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,040
很多人都不喜欢警察

207
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,920
但是人人都喜欢邮递员

208
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:05,910
是吗

209
00:08:05,910 --> 00:08:07,640
所以才有这么一个说法

210
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,550
选择"邮政化" 幸福千万家

211
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,550
你在开玩笑对吧

212
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:12,750
"去邮局"其实是指(发疯)

213
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,280
我知道是什么意思

214
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,280
我刚说过它的意思了 那就是它的意思

215
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,090
好吧

216
00:08:19,090 --> 00:08:21,320
我们何不全都避免和人交谈

217
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,810
直接去查看邮筒呢

218
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,100
这东西有什么意义

219
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,710
传统又安全

220
00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:39,370
而且如果我说这看起来不酷 那我就是在骗人了

221
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,820
我就不会这么说

222
00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:44,910
中奖了 是猪咯咯

223
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,050
太好了

224
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:49,120
你光荣地服务了你的国家 女士

225
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:53,920
站住

226
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,120
哇

227
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,660
嗷 嗷 嗷 扶我起来

228
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:58,630
Peralta 救我 扶我起来

229
00:08:58,630 --> 00:08:59,790
别抛下我

230
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,300
他跑了

231
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:04,300
你还好吗

232
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,840
不好 我气坏了

233
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,270
- 嘿  - 嗯

234
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:11,470
你要去哪儿 Amy

235
00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:13,640
我只是到外面去

236
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,480
看看我训练的鸽子

237
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,580
它会跳康康舞呢

238
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,120
那我可得看看

239
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,980
该死 我把谎编得太诱人了

240
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:24,650
好啦 我是要出去抽烟

241
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:28,160
你那个无聊的系统重启方法根本没用

242
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,560
知道吗 我不想提这件事的

243
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,490
很多年前 我自己战胜过一个瘾症

244
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:35,960
我当时赌马赌得停不下来

245
00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:38,430
冲啊 华丽辣子马

246
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:42,500
冲啊 华丽辣子马 冲啊 华丽辣子马

247
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:45,040
是号角手 以一个头的优势取得胜利

248
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,310
我输光了

249
00:09:46,310 --> 00:09:49,240
对我来说有效的方法是用一个好的瘾头

250
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,180
来取代坏的瘾头

251
00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:52,980
锻炼

252
00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:54,620
拿上你的运动鞋 Santiago

253
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,650
你要跟我一起去午休慢跑了

254
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:58,790
太好了 我们可以小聊一下

255
00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:01,590
谈谈工作 巩固一下师徒感情

256
00:10:01,590 --> 00:10:03,790
我们会在无声中慢跑

257
00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:05,190
也不能戴耳机

258
00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:07,900
听音乐也会产生依赖

259
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,370
不好意思 让我来理清一下

260
00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:13,740
猪咯咯贩子当时离你们只有20码

261
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:15,200
却给他跑了

262
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,300
发生什么了

263
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:17,970
事情的经过就是

264
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:21,010
你的这位同事没有遵守适当的法律系统流程

265
00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,040
什么

266
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,550
永远要在展开徒步追赶之前

267
00:10:24,550 --> 00:10:26,350
检查地表是否有障碍物

268
00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:27,920
当时的地表障碍

269
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,620
就是你的手紧抓着我的腿

270
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,520
我的小腿上都是爪印

271
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,320
抱歉 Rosa 我能私下和你谈一下吗

272
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,240
- 好的  - 我们马上回来

273
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,930
Boyle 你何不向Donger介绍一下什么是传真机呢

274
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,790
好的

275
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,100
想象一下 一封不带保护措施的信和电话做了爱

276
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,410
听着 这Donger不止很烦人

277
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,900
还毁了全部行动

278
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,370
罪犯跑走了是因为他是世界上最大的傻瓜(工具)

279
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,810
不 工具还能用一用 他是世界上最小的鸡巴(工具)

280
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:54,110
我才是世界上最大的鸡巴

281
00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:55,210
天呐 你看到没 我都被他气傻了

282
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,410
听着 这些毒贩并不只是

283
00:10:57,410 --> 00:10:58,410
随便选择用邮筒钥匙的

284
00:10:58,410 --> 00:10:59,950
他们很明显和邮政有关系

285
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,020
抱歉 兄弟 你得继续跟他合作

286
00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:02,580
好吧 等等

287
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,620
先换个角度来想想

288
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,690
这整个打击毒贩之战真的值得

289
00:11:06,690 --> 00:11:08,320
让人类牺牲我多一分钟的时间

290
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,460
和这个behonkus呆在一起吗

291
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,260
我不知道"Behonkus"什么意思 但是的

292
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:12,430
"Behonkus"就是屁股

293
00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:14,330
我觉得你应该结合上下文能猜出来的

294
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,270
说真的 Jake 我需要你坚持一下

295
00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:19,170
好啦 好吧

296
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:22,600
我就当是帮你忙了 因为你是我的朋友

297
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:24,040
但如果他再跟我讲一遍

298
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,740
美邮检是如何用"寄倒"柏林墙的的话

299
00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,180
我就会把你家地址给他

300
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:30,180
而你就将会一辈子收到他的节日贺卡

301
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,110
我的亲戚都不知道我的地址

302
00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:35,720
我知道 我就是知道

303
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,460
完成

304
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,830
你感觉如何

305
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,630
很好 完全没有渴求尼古丁的感觉

306
00:11:47,630 --> 00:11:49,860
内啡肽的魔力

307
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:52,000
我现在处在完全的愉悦之中

308
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,170
很明显

309
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,470
听着 我得进去一下

310
00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,510
你好 Kevin

311
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:02,180
不 我没看见

312
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,180
我很怀疑

313
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,270
为什么管家要偷你的皮带

314
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,820
什么丈夫 她是个寡妇

315
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:11,830
我 噢 我得挂了

316
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,160
Santiago 你在里面抽烟吗

317
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,460
没有

318
00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:17,730
那我为什么看到烟了

319
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,700
那是蒸汽 我在洗澡

320
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:24,870
所以一帮毒贩子怎么会有邮筒的旧钥匙呢

321
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,640
可能是你们回收的时候落下了

322
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,570
怀疑错方向啦 McGuff

323
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:30,310
邮政服务从不出错

324
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,640
- 你们每年搞丢几百万封信好吗  - 是吗

325
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,340
那为什么几百万封丢失的信中

326
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:37,550
没有一封被找到过

327
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:41,350
好吧 如果这不是个失误 那可能是内部作案

328
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,320
谁负责回收钥匙

329
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,620
城里一共有五个人在负责这件事

330
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,830
这就是我们的嫌犯列表

331
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:54,060
我们可以叫他们 "钥匙兄弟会"

332
00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:56,060
我真心觉得你是世界上最伟大的人

333
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:56,670
噢

334
00:12:56,670 --> 00:12:58,870
这是个死胡同

335
00:12:58,870 --> 00:13:00,140
去找这些人是浪费时间

336
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,200
我觉得我们应该继续监视邮筒

337
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,440
听着 我办过无数毒品案子了 好吗

338
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,710
一旦他们知道我们找上门了 他们会销毁整个体系

339
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:09,910
相信我 他们不会再用邮筒了

340
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:13,250
相信我 我是个联邦执法人员

341
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,080
你不是联调局 也不是烟酒火器管理局

342
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,590
你只是在邮局工作

343
00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:19,490
你的格言就是"难以置信吧 我们是存在的"

344
00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:20,690
错

345
00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:23,830
我们的格言是"Nos custodimus quod lingus"

346
00:13:23,830 --> 00:13:25,490
"你们所舔过的 我们所守护的"

347
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:26,600
更糟好吗

348
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,730
算了 不提了

349
00:13:27,730 --> 00:13:29,730
我不会把名单给你的

350
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:31,700
我们就继续监视那些邮筒

351
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,600
如果过几天查不出东西来

352
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,900
我们再试试你那没用的方法

353
00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,510
嘿 如果你饿了的话 Maury"邮政化"(发疯)了

354
00:13:38,510 --> 00:13:39,940
还给所有人带来了麦芬蛋糕来

355
00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:41,380
赞

356
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:44,470
不好意思 我要去拿个有蓝莓的麦芬蛋糕了

357
00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:45,510
等我回来的时候

358
00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:47,720
我们再讨论盯梢的策略

359
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,220
好了 看好门

360
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,490
我要把嫌疑人名单打印出来

361
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:57,130
然后就可以摆脱Donger了

362
00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,390
有点冒险了吧 Jake

363
00:13:58,390 --> 00:14:00,430
如果这条线索断了的话 Rosa会生气的

364
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:03,190
你知道吗 机器搭档绝对不会产生质疑

365
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:04,830
好吧 我去放风

366
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:08,040
- Jake Jake Jake  - 怎么 他来了吗

367
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,640
不是 但是那儿不止有麦芬蛋糕

368
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,870
还有香蕉面包

369
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:12,110
什么

370
00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:13,910
这台打印机太慢了

371
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:15,480
快点啊

372
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,280
这地方真是不能再糟

373
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:20,290
好了 排除了两个 还剩三个

374
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:21,980
名单上的下一个 Kent Delroy

375
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,920
在邮局工作了十二年

376
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,280
两年前离职

377
00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:30,390
那是今早那家伙

378
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:32,020
纽约警察 开门

379
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:32,990
好吧 我要撞开门了

380
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:34,360
不 让我来

381
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,100
Charles 让你来都没有好结果

382
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,430
是的 但是我有在练习

383
00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:38,790
好吧 给你一次机会

384
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:39,610
谢谢

385
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:42,900
警察 举起手来

386
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:45,170
我做到啦 太棒了

387
00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:46,670
Boyle 那是坏蛋好吗

388
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:48,610
对 对 转过去

389
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,340
这边走 Santiago

390
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,440
这是什么情况

391
00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:54,010
我是在梦里吗

392
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,580
不对啊 我手上没有标签打印机

393
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,420
在萨满面前请保持安静

394
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:01,790
Amy 我将掌管你远离烟瘾的旅程

395
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:04,460
Gina会带领你冥想

396
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:06,630
我和Terry同意一起参与

397
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:08,260
以示支持

398
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:09,740
好吧

399
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,500
还有 Amy 也许你不知道这事

400
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,130
因为我不太常和你说话

401
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:19,270
我在二十岁出头的时候 也跟瘾症做过斗争

402
00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:21,340
我有购物强迫症

403
00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:24,340
冥想帮助我远离了购物瘾

404
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,350
它也能帮助你

405
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:28,910
闭上眼睛 跟我念

406
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,380
我在一个宽敞的走廊里

407
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:34,090
我在一个宽敞的走廊里

408
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:42,260
我正在走向自我实现的光芒中

409
00:15:42,260 --> 00:15:48,070
因为我是个强大的女人

410
00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:49,820
有人没张嘴说哦

411
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,540
因为我是个强大的女人

412
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:57,610
你们感受到了一阵凉爽的启示之风

413
00:15:57,610 --> 00:16:00,880
温柔地吹抚着你们的脸颊

414
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,110
我感觉到了

415
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,180
我感觉到微风了

416
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:04,350
Amy

417
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,520
干嘛 我没张开眼睛啊

418
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,520
你才玩赖

419
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:08,440
警监玩赖

420
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:10,320
Santiago 我们是想要帮你

421
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,760
我做不到

422
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:12,950
我放弃戒烟了

423
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,030
各位 各位

424
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:19,300
我们的特遣队终于完成了一次成功的抓获

425
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,540
好好待他

426
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:25,800
这家伙的被捕情况跟Mitch Globmun差不多

427
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:28,640
Globmun是我们年级第一个长阴毛的小孩

428
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,340
Rosa 好消息 我的朋友

429
00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:31,580
怎么回事啊

430
00:16:31,580 --> 00:16:33,010
Donger刚刚打电话来说你抛弃了他

431
00:16:33,010 --> 00:16:35,450
在机密的电脑上窃取了信息

432
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,650
还舔了所有的古董邮票

433
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:38,620
舔邮票这事是我干的

434
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:41,190
我好奇以前的胶水是什么味的

435
00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:43,660
答案是 像马肉棒棒糖

436
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:45,190
嗯

437
00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:46,960
听着 这没什么大不了的

438
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,090
Donger打算让我们浪费一周的时间去盯邮筒

439
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:51,630
如果我听了他的 我永远都不可能抓住Delroy

440
00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:53,240
也不可能找到他的笔记本 上面写着

441
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,940
今晚将有大批的猪咯咯运过来

442
00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:58,170
我让你跟美邮检合作

443
00:16:58,170 --> 00:17:00,770
好吧 我知道我没有完全按你的命令做事

444
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,880
我是以特遣队队长的身份命令你的

445
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,940
你觉得因为我们是朋友

446
00:17:04,950 --> 00:17:06,350
你就可以随心所欲吗

447
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,050
Donger很生气 他正在来这里的路上

448
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:09,050
因为他要接手这个案子了

449
00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:10,650
什么 他不能这样吧

450
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,680
不 他可以

451
00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:13,090
因为他们是联邦机构

452
00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:14,450
从今以后 任何关于这个案子的搜捕行动

453
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,960
包括Delroy 都由美邮检负责

454
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,160
我的特遣队啥也干不了 还真是谢谢你了 朋友

455
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,860
这桌子尝起来像Scully手肘上的水疱

456
00:17:24,870 --> 00:17:27,000
好恶心 但是我应得的

457
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,240
我讨厌看到你这样子

458
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,140
Rosa确实该生我的气

459
00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:34,910
我没按她的命令办事 毁了她的特遣队

460
00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,110
挽回这事的唯一办法

461
00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:38,710
就是去做我能想到的最可怕的事

462
00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:40,410
把你的小弟弟泡进醋里吗

463
00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:41,480
什么鬼啊 不是

464
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:42,750
你这么会想到这个

465
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:43,850
在主日学校里 他们告诉我们

466
00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:46,290
古巴比伦人就是这样对他们的敌人的

467
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:47,990
从那以后我就超级害怕这个

468
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:53,130
好吧 我要做的事比这个还要可怕很多

469
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,390
对不起 我是个混蛋

470
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,500
抱歉我之前说邮递员已经过气了

471
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:01,200
抱歉我之前说"永久邮票"是个谎言

472
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,340
因为地球最终会被太阳吞噬

473
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:05,910
我知道你安的什么心

474
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,340
我才不买账呢

475
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:11,080
我不信你真的抱歉 也不信你尊重美邮检

476
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,150
也许一开始不是 但那是在我读了

477
00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:16,320
这个册子之前的事了

478
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,910
噢 选得好

479
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:18,520
是啊

480
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,350
但它的介绍还不够全面

481
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:25,190
真正的故事 是从16世纪的法国邮局开始的

482
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,360
你们想听不

483
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:29,160
当然 快跟我们讲这故事

484
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,660
不要省略任何细节

485
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:31,660
简直跟泡醋一样可怕

486
00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:37,170
美邮检的历史故事从这一时期开始变得非常精彩

487
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:41,470
他们真的把总部从华盛顿特区搬回了波士顿

488
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,140
让我们先来到1820年

489
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,440
等等 你打算就这样跳过整整十年吗

490
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,640
我意思是 我超想知道

491
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,550
邮政检察长他生病的妻子

492
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:51,050
是怎么适应新英格兰区的严冬的

493
00:18:52,050 --> 00:18:53,850
好吧 Peralta 我接受你的道歉

494
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,120
你可以把案子领回去

495
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,120
太谢谢了

496
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,550
其实 我需要一些帮助

497
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,290
Delroy不肯告诉我们今晚的货物会运去哪里

498
00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:01,660
他的笔记都是用密码写的

499
00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:03,830
你看看

500
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:05,600
你们追查了这个电话号码吗

501
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,630
是空号

502
00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:09,100
10位数字 除了号码还能是什么呢

503
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:10,530
两个连在一起的邮编

504
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:11,840
但都不在这附近

505
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,710
27889 那是北卡罗来纳州的华盛顿市

506
00:19:15,710 --> 00:19:20,280
80751 那是科罗拉多州的斯特林市

507
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,510
斯特林镇(纽约州)和华盛顿大道(布鲁克林区)

508
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:25,920
等一下 邮递员先生

509
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,120
那就是猪咯咯会被送到的地方吗

510
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:30,180
对 咱们该走了 马上

511
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,190
你能别咬了吗

512
00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:36,790
我感觉像在海狸坝里工作一样

513
00:19:39,530 --> 00:19:42,030
哦不 这种领导要谈心的架势

514
00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:44,230
Santiago 你给自己太大压力了

515
00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:47,240
这种压力反而让你更难戒烟

516
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:48,670
也许当你不再是个完美主义者的时候

517
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:50,840
事情会变得更容易

518
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:55,380
你也应该试着

519
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,820
试着什么 你那句话的介词后怎么什么也没跟

520
00:19:58,820 --> 00:20:00,550
我是在给你做个示范

521
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:03,720
我犯了个语法错误 而且我不打算去纠正它

522
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,620
我就让它在那空着

523
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,060
空着

524
00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:09,390
孤单地空着

525
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:13,350
谢谢你 警监

526
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,270
准备就绪 要行动了

527
00:20:15,270 --> 00:20:16,930
等等 在我们行动前

528
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,100
我接受道歉

529
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,940
不行 我要把道歉说出来

530
00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:21,000
好烦 我必须忍受这个吗

531
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,670
我尽量快点结束

532
00:20:22,670 --> 00:20:23,770
我没按你的命令行事

533
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:24,880
我利用了我们的友谊

534
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,080
是我不好 对不起

535
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,450
这道歉感觉真是漫长

536
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,510
我已经尽量精简了好吗

537
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,720
好了 计划是什么 我的热情要破"裆"而出了

538
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,880
什么啊

539
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:35,350
第一小组会从北边入口进去

540
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:36,790
第二小组会从东门进

541
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:38,320
Jake 你在这里把风

542
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,660
噢 好 你怎么说我就怎么做 准备好了

543
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,790
我开玩笑的啦 你跟我们一起行动

544
00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:43,720
讨厌

545
00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:45,360
准备好了吗 听我指令

546
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,790
三 二 一

547
00:20:49,570 --> 00:20:50,700
不许动 警察

548
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:53,100
还有美邮检 还有我们美邮检

549
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,810
都给我蹲下

550
00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:56,270
快从后门跑

551
00:20:56,270 --> 00:20:57,880
蹲下 蹲下 都蹲下

552
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,510
手放头上

553
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,430
啊 我怎么了

554
00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:09,090
你进来的时候脑撞门上了

555
00:21:09,090 --> 00:21:10,220
撞晕了

556
00:21:10,220 --> 00:21:11,360
撞出淤青了吗

557
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,000
一点点

558
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,160
太棒了 我要上英雄墙了

559
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,430
坏蛋都抓住了吗

560
00:21:16,430 --> 00:21:17,760
是的 都抓住了

561
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,000
太好了 美邮检的又一次胜利

562
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,530
你躺在老鼠屎上

563
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,310
这都是职责所需啊 兄弟

564
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:24,530
职责所需嘛