1
00:00:01,590 --> 00:00:03,620
早上好 Diaz Peralta

2
00:00:03,650 --> 00:00:06,060
警监 你在笑哎

3
00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:08,820
太诡异了 就像乌龟出壳一样

4
00:00:08,860 --> 00:00:10,090
我高兴

5
00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:11,690
我们的毒品特案组成功了

6
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:14,100
今天 我要亲眼见证我的宿敌Madeline Wuntch

7
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,000
为我戴上奖章

8
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,530
而且我们肃清了片区

9
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:18,770
那是 这也是喜事

10
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:22,040
我一直想着怎么在Madeline给我颁奖的时候嘲讽她一下

11
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:23,310
我想到了一个金句

12
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,070
Wuntch(午餐)时间结束了

13
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:29,210
这是 这是午餐时间的梗

14
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:30,880
了解 绝对是致命一击 长官

15
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,020
但真正能让她见识你的厉害就是什么也别说

16
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:35,720
有意思 有意思

17
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,650
让Madeline知道 她连让我通宵想嘲讽词都不配

18
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,160
"Wuntch时间"你想了一晚上

19
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,560
听我的 挨打就再献上另一边

20
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,730
其实我也是最近才知道这话指的是脸而不是屁股

21
00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:46,900
但都说得通

22
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,160
对

23
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,530
我应该做个大度的人

24
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:54,000
这也不难办 毕竟Madeline都算不上是个人

25
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:58,270
因卓越的工作表现 纽约警局将此奖章授予

26
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:03,650
警探Rosa Diaz Jake Peralta 以及警监

27
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,210
Raymond Holt

28
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,750
- Raymond  - Madeline

29
00:01:12,790 --> 00:01:14,090
你赢了

30
00:01:14,090 --> 00:01:16,020
尽管幸灾乐祸吧 你个神烦

31
00:01:17,130 --> 00:01:19,860
感谢您授予我的荣誉 副局长

32
00:01:21,070 --> 00:01:25,030
矮油 好吧

33
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,170
不用谢

34
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,270
Wuntch时间结束了

35
00:01:28,270 --> 00:01:29,810
搞定

36
00:01:29,810 --> 00:01:31,140
两种方法都做了

37
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,640
绝不后悔

38
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,140
神烦警探 第二季 第十一集

39
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:54,930
大家听好了

40
00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:59,670
我们掌握了一条Alexei Bisko藏匿窝点的情报

41
00:01:59,670 --> 00:02:01,100
他是乌克兰黑帮的老大

42
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:02,270
他一定很激动

43
00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,240
那可是个很有前途的黑帮

44
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,410
他的手下在那里交易金钱和武器

45
00:02:07,410 --> 00:02:09,980
我们需要几个小组长期监视

46
00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:11,010
我不参加

47
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,250
我单独与人相处的记录是四个小时

48
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,580
那是我一生中最糟糕的经历

49
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,650
那上次我们一起开车去波士顿呢

50
00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:18,960
差不多就是四个小时啊

51
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,490
我懂了

52
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,860
唯一有利的监视点就是对街的被封锁的旅馆

53
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:25,460
我们可以伪装成除虫人员进去

54
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,830
但是动静太大还是会引起怀疑

55
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:30,500
八天行动 如果有两组可以每组四天

56
00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:31,570
我和Boyle组队参加

57
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,540
好 已经有一组了

58
00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:34,500
还有谁要帮忙

59
00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:35,670
要是没人帮忙

60
00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:37,270
我们俩可以做满八天

61
00:02:37,270 --> 00:02:38,570
光明节奇迹

62
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:41,840
别 那样一起工作时间太长了

63
00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,480
我做过六天的监视任务

64
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,180
并不顺利

65
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:46,880
对我俩而言不是问题

66
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,450
我唯一一次吼Charles

67
00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:50,590
是在滑轮舞比赛上给他加油

68
00:02:50,590 --> 00:02:51,590
咱俩从没红过脸

69
00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:54,190
这不是监视任务 这是监视约会

70
00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:56,740
*今晚带我去监视*

71
00:02:56,740 --> 00:03:00,760
*抓到坏人之前我不会放你走*

72
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,130
我们连主题曲都有了

73
00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:03,470
本次会议就以此结束吧

74
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,200
这是什么

75
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,340
不关你事

76
00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:12,540
这话最性感了

77
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:16,810
Terry 你不分享小秘密我是不会走的

78
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:17,850
好吧

79
00:03:17,850 --> 00:03:20,380
我在为双胞胎女儿的生日准备一本图画书

80
00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:23,750
书名是

81
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:26,020
这位看着像你 Gina

82
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:27,460
是啊

83
00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:30,030
看上去是极好的

84
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,360
这位一定是你了

85
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,200
瞅瞅这纯爷们气质 这着装

86
00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:35,160
那是一套盔甲

87
00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:36,730
是你套装的盔甲版吧

88
00:03:36,770 --> 00:03:38,300
画得是像你们俩

89
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,700
就是因为从现实生活取材更容易

90
00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:43,010
整个小队都画在里面了

91
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,940
小松鼠是Charles 大海象是Holt警监

92
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:48,610
还有双头河马

93
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:49,910
是Hitchcock和Scully

94
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:50,950
他们怎么便便呢

95
00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:53,850
这不过是本儿童书 Santiago

96
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:57,290
所以说从才不想给别人看

97
00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,820
鸡蛋里挑骨头

98
00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:13,070
天呐 你像提行李一样把我们提过来的吗

99
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,200
当然不是

100
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,270
这不是演戏

101
00:04:15,270 --> 00:04:16,440
我用推车把你们推过来的

102
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,840
Terry真逊 Terry真逊

103
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,110
Terry真棒 Terry真棒

104
00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:22,080
吃的放哪儿

105
00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:23,650
还有编成辫子的青鱼

106
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:25,880
和做成果冻的海星也算吃的吗

107
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,580
当然算了

108
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:29,120
我肉身困在陋室

109
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,050
但我的餐盘却能周游世界

110
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,050
听好了

111
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:33,460
这房间真的很小

112
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,220
要是你们开始相互厌烦了

113
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:36,430
模仿我带孩子的绝招

114
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:38,260
各自去分开的角落

115
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:39,930
也就是所谓的单独空间

116
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,460
恕我直言 警长 我俩不需要单独空间

117
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,000
咱们不需要

118
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,770
但是有个问题

119
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,940
你觉得司康饼空间如何

120
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:49,370
我觉得棒极了

121
00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:50,410
我也是

122
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,440
警长

123
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,740
我喜欢松饼

124
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,590
第一天

125
00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:57,910
好消息 伙计

126
00:04:57,950 --> 00:05:00,080
咱们有卫生间宠物了

127
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,390
名叫Horace 它要么是个小老鼠

128
00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:05,720
要么是个大蟑螂 要么睡着了要么死透了

129
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,360
日程是这样的

130
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,920
八小时同时监视

131
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,260
八小时我睡觉你监视

132
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:11,760
八小时你睡觉我监视

133
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,960
我订好闹钟了

134
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,400
还设了个完美的铃声

135
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:15,670
你听

136
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:17,630
*今晚带我去监视*

137
00:05:17,630 --> 00:05:20,690
*抓到坏人之前我不会放你走*

138
00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:21,640
哥喜欢

139
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,410
好了 我们准备了望远镜

140
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,540
相机 夜视镜 电脑 以及

141
00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:30,480
迷你篮球

142
00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:32,680
天呐 我喜欢

143
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,190
我打篮球的难处就在于球大手小

144
00:05:36,190 --> 00:05:37,650
用了迷你篮球妈妈再也不用担心我打篮球了

145
00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:38,650
来耍一个

146
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:41,060
准备好了 走起 一二三

147
00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:44,670
看着是不是像我感觉的那么酷

148
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:45,790
你觉得有多酷

149
00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:48,930
各位 这是我的侄子Marcus

150
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:50,600
他刚来纽约

151
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:52,340
找到住处前他先住我家

152
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:53,440
他31岁

153
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:54,840
你真不会调动气氛

154
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:57,110
你一定是Gina

155
00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:58,440
我听说过太多大家的事迹

156
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:03,180
我猜你是Amy Rosa Terry

157
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,720
我是Jake 我俩都是Jake

158
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,680
Scully和Hitchcock吧

159
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,120
我就是来Ray叔叔这儿拿钥匙的

160
00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:12,050
大家回去工作吧

161
00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:13,520
很高兴见到大家

162
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:14,560
拜拜

163
00:06:14,590 --> 00:06:16,860
我滴个亲娘啊

164
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:18,130
- 拜拜  - 怎么了

165
00:06:18,130 --> 00:06:20,300
以你的标准 这相当于走过去

166
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,360
激吻他到喉咙深处了

167
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,400
闭嘴

168
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,500
Gina 你够了

169
00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:25,940
好吧 抱歉

170
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:27,540
是过火了

171
00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:31,240
但是我说句跑题的话

172
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,010
Rosa想上了你侄子

173
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,160
第二天

174
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:39,240
*今晚带我去监视*
第二天

175
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,360
*今晚带我去监视*

176
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:45,290
*抓到坏人之前我不会放你走*

177
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,860
这个睡眠呼吸面具真是奇怪啊

178
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:51,890
不得不说

179
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,730
- 自此有个这位美女  - 美女

180
00:06:53,730 --> 00:06:54,900
她会碰到我的嘴唇 Jake

181
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,230
所以是美女

182
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:58,330
自从我戴上了她

183
00:06:58,340 --> 00:06:59,640
我就睡的特别香

184
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,030
好吧

185
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,170
嗯 你睡觉的时候

186
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,690
藏匿窝点有了点动静

187
00:07:03,710 --> 00:07:05,070
一辆蓝色轿车停在了对面

188
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,240
我拍到了车牌和司机

189
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,050
另外 这家伙就是藏匿窝点的主人

190
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,580
我叫他"沙滩伞男" 因为他看着很"阴"

191
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:13,580
噢

192
00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:17,390
嘿 我有个请求 可能怪了点

193
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,760
但是你能不能嚼东西的时候

194
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:20,920
把嘴闭上呢

195
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,260
不能 但我很乐意告诉你为什么

196
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:25,560
我新养成了一个饮食习惯

197
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,130
我发现张嘴嚼会氧化食物

198
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,400
就和品酒的原理差不多

199
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,440
我懂你的意思 伙计

200
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,440
我明白

201
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,270
只是吧 看着很恶心

202
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:37,570
所以咱俩一起的这段时间

203
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:40,310
你能不能闭上嘴嚼

204
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:44,080
好吧 但是我都没抱怨你吃的多恶心

205
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,310
煎饼配黄油加枫蜜怎么恶心了

206
00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:48,250
你盘子里完全没有煎饼

207
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,890
你现在就是吃黄油枫蜜呢

208
00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:51,150
是啊 我不吃碳水化合物了

209
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:52,590
这是我健康的吃法

210
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:55,120
行 那我们就分开去不同角落吃吧

211
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,490
好啊 我喜欢这个办法

212
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:59,230
等下 那是单独空间

213
00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:00,360
我们不需要单独空间

214
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,630
我们很好 没有吵架

215
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,160
我们很好 吃你的黄油蜂蜜吧

216
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,430
是啊 张嘴嚼吧

217
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:08,370
*今晚带我去监视 抓到坏人前我不放你走*
第三天

218
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:11,090
*今晚带我去监视 抓到坏人前我不放你走*

219
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,830
换班了 爱死这歌了

220
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:15,690
我都记不起原歌词了

221
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,630
黑色越野车 女司机

222
00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:21,360
她穿了一身单调的颜色

223
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,570
我们叫她"孔雀女士"吧

224
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,840
雄孔雀身上颜色较鲜艳

225
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,670
天 怎么人跟孔雀正好相反呢

226
00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:29,870
- 千古谜题  - 嗯

227
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:34,780
听着 关于咱俩差点需要隔离的事

228
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,010
那个啊 没事的

229
00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:37,680
我们不会吵架的 咱俩从来不吵

230
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:38,720
- 对啊 太对了  - 嗯

231
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,320
我也是这么想的

232
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,790
为了安全起见 我们可以

233
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,390
把对方讨厌的行为写下来

234
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,760
我们想禁止的 懂吗

235
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,190
我们可以叫它"万万不可做"

236
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:49,490
噢 我喜欢

237
00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:49,930
十五分钟后
噢 我喜欢

238
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,200
十五分钟后

239
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:54,060
好吧 下面是我列的清单

240
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,460
不要张嘴嚼东西

241
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,270
讨论过了

242
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,540
不许学牙买加腔调 不许背诗

243
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:03,510
不许跳交际舞 不许学鸟叫 不许做男士凯格尔运动

244
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:05,540
我能偷着做吗 像这样

245
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:08,040
你都看不出我在做

246
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,680
我绝对看得出

247
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,210
就这些 看看我的"万万不可"吧

248
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:15,080
好的 不许黄油配枫蜜 不许提虎胆龙威

249
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,590
好 没问题

250
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,220
第二部 第三部也不行

251
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,390
什么 别这样

252
00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:21,190
你想听我提第四部吗

253
00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:22,760
- 还有第四部吗  - Charles

254
00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:24,510
不许因为我没看过虎胆龙威而歧视我

255
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:25,930
- 行 行 还有吗  - 嗯

256
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,060
不许就着罐子吃蛋黄酱

257
00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:29,260
不许用我牙刷

258
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,500
就这些

259
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:33,200
Jake 这个"万万不可做" 像扣篮一样爽

260
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,200
让我爽一个

261
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,340
来啦

262
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,110
我有进步了

263
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:41,210
是啊 有进步

264
00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:42,910
你找我啊 警监

265
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,180
请坐 Diaz

266
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:49,050
你记得我侄子Marcus吗 31岁那个

267
00:09:49,050 --> 00:09:51,120
他问我你是不是单身

268
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,320
我告诉他我不是梳着辫子

269
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,190
帮人递纸条的三年级小姑娘

270
00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:56,890
是啊 太幼稚了

271
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,390
- 说的就是  - 太尴尬了

272
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:00,100
我同意

273
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,100
我单身

274
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,730
噢

275
00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:03,730
我懂了

276
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:07,470
如果Marcus想要我电话 他可以自己来要

277
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:14,610
谁会去告诉他呢

278
00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:18,380
嗯

279
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:19,820
你拿了最后一块丹麦曲奇

280
00:10:19,850 --> 00:10:21,220
噢 抱歉

281
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:23,690
你看见Terry画的咱俩了吗

282
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,850
没 他说不要看

283
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:28,790
好吧 我看了

284
00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:31,430
我的角色 蟋蟀 太窝囊废了

285
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:32,800
她让所有森林居民

286
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,400
用她的神奇麋鹿许愿

287
00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:36,930
六月虫 是个冷血婊

288
00:10:36,930 --> 00:10:41,000
她告诉所有的小鸭嘴兽他们的脚很奇怪

289
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,440
别人就这么想我们的吗

290
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:44,710
嗯 你确实刚从我这抢走了丹麦曲奇

291
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,080
抢过去就吃了

292
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,480
我就这么让你抢了

293
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,980
我还道歉了

294
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,480
和蟋蟀一模一样的

295
00:10:50,510 --> 00:10:53,980
嘿 我能挤过去倒杯咖啡吗

296
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:57,420
你可以挤到一边凉快去

297
00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:01,020
我的咖啡和你的一样重要

298
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,490
她怎么那么大火

299
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:08,660
Terry 我尝试着不说三道四 所以我不知道

300
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,670
也许我该去看看小Amy

301
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,700
然后送她一份最棒的礼物

302
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,100
一个拥抱

303
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,680
第四天

304
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:17,310
拜托

305
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:20,210
来个人用用藏匿窝点吧

306
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,040
藏匿窝点(泄粪屋)

307
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:24,250
完美的移动厕所公司的名字

308
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,520
咱俩从这走出去

309
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,780
我就带着这个主意去

310
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,050
这个"万万不可做"真是神了

311
00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:33,460
咱俩完全不可能惹恼对方了

312
00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:36,220
充分撩骚 此次盯梢

313
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:38,960
嗯

314
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,230
嘿 伙计 押韵在不在你的单子上

315
00:11:41,270 --> 00:11:42,330
没有

316
00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:44,600
酷 酷

317
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,170
感觉和背诗特别像呢

318
00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:49,970
是 但是这俩不一样

319
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,540
是啊 不一样

320
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,740
不一样啊

321
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,080
我准备把它加上去

322
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:59,410
噢 现在我们可以加东西了

323
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:00,750
是啊 干嘛不呢

324
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,650
我们有时间 有墨水

325
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:03,990
除了洗碗槽 什么都不愁

326
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:05,220
我刚说什么了

327
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:06,760
好的 加在Charles单子上

328
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,290
好 好 好 酷 酷 酷

329
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:13,230
继续监视

330
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:14,530
监视继续

331
00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:14,560
一个小时后
监视继续

332
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,240
一个小时后

333
00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:19,030
干嘛呢

334
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:21,670
我不这么做 我屁股上的弹孔就僵硬了

335
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,310
不许提你的"屁眼"

336
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:25,670
第四晚

337
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:29,480
二

338
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,850
三

339
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:31,920
不许做引体向上

340
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:31,950
第五天
不许做引体向上

341
00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:33,300
第五天

342
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,050
不许做瑜伽

343
00:12:35,050 --> 00:12:35,080
两个小时后
不许做瑜伽

344
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,510
两个小时后

345
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:38,620
不许玩口技

346
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:42,620
不许不冲厕所

347
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:45,390
不许扮修女也疯狂

348
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:46,900
不许提生活窍门

349
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:49,670
不许提多级销售阴谋

350
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:52,470
不许管合法生意叫"阴谋"

351
00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,770
在翻页前不许舔手指

352
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:55,800
不许模仿

353
00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:56,910
不许搞茶宴

354
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:57,940
不许玩椰菜娃娃

355
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:58,970
不许跑酷

356
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:00,780
不许提落跑老爸 电影舞蹈都不行

357
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:01,880
不许自行唱摇篮曲

358
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,710
不许像女人一样裹毛巾

359
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:08,420
第六天

360
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:16,010
嘿 不许剪鼻毛

361
00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:17,510
我们得在这待八天 Jake

362
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:19,280
我不管 单子上写着呐

363
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,550
嗯 我希望你喜欢看鼻毛丛

364
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,320
鼻毛丛

365
00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:24,550
好了 不要说话了

366
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:25,990
不要再说话了

367
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,660
好啊 我也要写上

368
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:29,020
你说话了

369
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:30,060
你也说了

370
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,360
好的 倒数三 二 一

371
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,690
不许说话 闭嘴

372
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:39,570
第六晚

373
00:13:46,210 --> 00:13:47,570
嘿 警监

374
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:48,810
调查进行的怎么样了

375
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,350
好极了 沙滩伞男的访客源源不断

376
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:52,810
"沙滩伞男"

377
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:55,050
Bisko的藏匿窝点的负责人

378
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,980
我们给每个人都起了个外号

379
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,820
我很高兴你们过的不错

380
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:01,050
大伙都以为你俩现在早就打起来了

381
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:03,220
需要找人换班吗

382
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,330
- 什么  - 不用不用哒

383
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:06,860
不许傲娇的说 不用不用哒

384
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:07,860
你说什么

385
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,030
呃 没什么

386
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,600
我只是说我们不需要替班小队

387
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,900
我们过得非常好 对吧 Boyle

388
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:12,970
没错 好极了

389
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:15,070
好 那过几天见

390
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,150
- 好 太好了  - 好的 再见

391
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:17,100
- 再见吧  - 拜拜 爱你哟

392
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:17,800
什么

393
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:26,210
别关门

394
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:27,220
抱歉啊 警长

395
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:29,500
也许你多跑跑步减减肥 就能动作快点了

396
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,430
别 别 别 Amy

397
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:33,190
我们一定要在电梯里"蜕变"给他看

398
00:14:33,190 --> 00:14:34,390
- 不行  - 开门 快开门

399
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:36,770
- 关门 关门啊  - 开门 开门

400
00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:38,690
你们俩闹什么呢啊

401
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:40,790
- 你闹什么呢啊  - 亲爱的

402
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:41,900
够了

403
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,830
是时候来个急停会谈了

404
00:14:44,830 --> 00:14:45,830
好 那成

405
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,200
你想知道怎么回事吗

406
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,640
我们读了你的书

407
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,370
我告诉你 我不是什么窝囊废

408
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,810
我也不是冷血婊

409
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:56,210
我是自然与美丽的化身

410
00:14:56,250 --> 00:14:59,850
好了 很抱歉那些角色长得像你们

411
00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:02,620
但相似的地方仅此而已

412
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:05,820
的确 六月虫对小鸭嘴兽挑三拣四

413
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,260
但她对小袜仔却非常友好

414
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:10,360
而且 尽管蟋蟀的确是窝囊废

415
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,130
她让任何人向神奇麋鹿许愿

416
00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:16,060
但在海豚战争里 她却绝不服软

417
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,030
我觉得这些话的意思就是

418
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:21,000
这些故事荒谬至极

419
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,400
我爱你们

420
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,470
但如果你们这么爱给我的书添油加醋

421
00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:26,610
那你们就自己生闷气吧

422
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,310
如果你没把电梯停下来

423
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:33,530
那你就可以在演讲完后潇洒走人了

424
00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:35,280
现在我们只好沉浸在这尴尬中

425
00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:39,020
Marcus 你要走了吗

426
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:40,250
来吧 和我们吃顿早饭

427
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,120
你们起得好早啊

428
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,420
好吧

429
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,930
还有 Diaz警探也在这里

430
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:51,970
嗨

431
00:15:51,970 --> 00:15:52,970
你好 Kevin

432
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,530
Rosa Marcus

433
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:55,840
Kevin Ray叔叔

434
00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:57,910
Marcus 还有Cheddar

435
00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,470
Cheddar也在这里

436
00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:01,050
呃 你要不要来和我们一起吃饭

437
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:01,800
没问题

438
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:03,600
我们坐下来吧

439
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,670
我不想 坐下

440
00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:08,480
好 那就别强迫自己待在这里了 Rosa

441
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,690
Diaz警探

442
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,890
Rosa Diaz警探闯入了我的私人早餐场所

443
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,290
那么 谁想吃点法式吐司吗

444
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:16,960
我可以在上面放个培根小笑脸

445
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:18,660
我在这里呆着太尴尬了

446
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:19,830
这种想法真是太糟糕了

447
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:22,730
我们还是不要在一起了

448
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:27,440
那么Rosa Diaz警探已经走了

449
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,830
哼

450
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:28,870
第七天
哼

451
00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:30,290
第七天

452
00:16:31,910 --> 00:16:33,310
这屋子里剩下的唯一的食物

453
00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:34,410
就是你那条白痴鲱鱼

454
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,080
喔 所以我们又开始说话了吗

455
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:37,140
呵 估计是吧

456
00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:39,350
因为这话我说出口了 也让你听到了

457
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:40,880
你这是在诡辩 "禁止诡辩"

458
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:41,880
清单上写得一清二楚

459
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,350
我受够这清单了

460
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:44,920
我连"诡辩"是什么意思都不知道

461
00:16:44,950 --> 00:16:46,090
那你就问问自己

462
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:47,960
"这话是加菲猫会说的吗"

463
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,590
如果是 那这就是诡辩

464
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:52,930
怎么 你是想让我当加菲猫的主人 乔恩·艾伯特吗

465
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,160
说话的时候过过脑子

466
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,760
他可是个温和懦弱的人

467
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:59,010
而且我告诉你 我为人"加菲猫似的" 不拘小节

468
00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,370
就是我们不吵架的唯一原因

469
00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:02,870
大错特错哟 孩儿

470
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,240
我们不吵架的唯一原因

471
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,810
就是我一直容忍着你烦人的行为

472
00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:08,680
也就是长久以来 孩儿

473
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:10,010
我就任由你随便捣乱

474
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:11,780
我充耳不闻哟 孩儿

475
00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:13,080
别再说"孩儿"了

476
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,800
Charles Boyle生气的时候就爱叫别人"孩儿"

477
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,950
这才是我

478
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:18,910
有了这些的我才是真正的我

479
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:20,580
如果你讨厌这些事情

480
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:21,860
那我们就不要再做朋友了

481
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,190
好呀 那我也告诉你

482
00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:24,860
我们不再是朋友了

483
00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:27,560
那当然没问题 孩儿

484
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:35,400
不好

485
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:42,410
这下好了 调查暴露了

486
00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:46,540
- *今晚带我去监视*  - 我恨死这首歌了

487
00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:48,850
- 我就喜欢  - *抓到坏人之前我不会放你走*

488
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,660
好了 我要把这些东西还回去

489
00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:53,670
好啊 去吧

490
00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:55,070
好

491
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:56,070
然后我们就完事了

492
00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,200
对 彻底完事了

493
00:17:58,300 --> 00:17:59,900
哟 哟 哟

494
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:03,270
Boyle不去 Hitchcock不来嘛

495
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,440
你今晚想干啥呀

496
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,440
要去脱衣舞夜总会耍耍吗

497
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,940
要和我老婆吃顿饭吗

498
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:08,430
这些选项是互相独立的吗

499
00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:09,610
还是说她就住在夜总会里

500
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:11,420
想知道答案 就来试试看

501
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:12,090
好吧

502
00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:15,650
Peralta 由于你的篮球事故

503
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:16,990
窝点已经被弃用了

504
00:18:16,990 --> 00:18:18,890
而且Alexei Bisko已经销声匿迹

505
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,390
都说了八天的监视实在是太久了

506
00:18:21,430 --> 00:18:23,630
恕我失礼 长官 那并不是时间长短的问题

507
00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:25,110
而是共事人选的问题

508
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:26,800
和Scully在一起我就能轻易完成任务

509
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:28,030
真的吗

510
00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:29,900
你会往他的背上抹油吗

511
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,200
不 我会把那东西抹在地板上

512
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,300
让Scully在上面慢慢滚

513
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:33,700
我身经百战了好吗

514
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:34,810
你必须找到Bisko

515
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:36,620
你可以从挨家挨户排查开始

516
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:37,850
看看有没有人知道他的下落

517
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:38,630
带上Boyle

518
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:41,780
长官 我申请更换搭档

519
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:43,070
我没法和Charles一起工作

520
00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:44,050
我们再也不是朋友了

521
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,080
"朋友"

522
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,280
我不在乎你们是不是朋友

523
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:47,290
这不是欢乐聚会

524
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:49,990
这是你的上司在吩咐你去工作

525
00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:52,420
好吧 但我希望你能清楚

526
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:56,060
你在强迫不共戴天的人们去相处

527
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:57,860
我并不介意的

528
00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:02,330
警长 我要和你谈谈这本儿童书

529
00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:03,370
真的吗

530
00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,150
我正在包装它 不能分神

531
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,750
听着 我知道故事很荒谬

532
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:11,360
而我也不是啥穿套装盔甲的树林小仙女

533
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,660
但让我觉得心慌意乱的是

534
00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:16,380
我有时的确是太唯唯诺诺了

535
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:19,690
说真的 我能在这周抬起头来做人真的是太好了

536
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,080
恭喜你呀 Santiago

537
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,150
我也从你那本破书里得到了宝贵的教训

538
00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:25,990
我知道自己这样已经很完美了

539
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,660
没有必要再改变什么了

540
00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:32,260
这是个有象征性的动作

541
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:35,170
我在以朋友而非警监的身份在与你交谈

542
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:39,170
所以作为你的朋友 我手里的这个文胸

543
00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:41,570
是你落在Marcus的房间里的

544
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,350
而且 我只想让你知道

545
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:52,420
呃 我觉得Marcus人非常好 而且

546
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,450
你人也非常好

547
00:19:54,450 --> 00:19:58,190
我希望我们在一起工作这件事

548
00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,690
不阻挠你的约会

549
00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:02,830
如果你 非要 这么做的话

550
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,270
或许吧

551
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:06,670
但我可不想告诉你

552
00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:10,670
太好了 反正我也不想知道

553
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,000
好 那这事我们就再也别提了

554
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,640
我们最好什么都别提了

555
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:16,340
好

556
00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:18,580
这是Bisko的阿姨的公寓

557
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:19,810
也许她看到了些什么

558
00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:21,550
那就赶紧办完了事

559
00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:27,920
有事吗

560
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,190
那是Bisko 后面有消防梯

561
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,290
我们从后面拦住他

562
00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,260
警察 纽约警局

563
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:57,850
Alexei Bisko 你被逮捕了

564
00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:00,560
你还好吗

565
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,260
还好

566
00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,270
多谢你帮了我

567
00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:04,760
你不用谢我

568
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,990
我永远都会帮助你

569
00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:08,890
这整件事真是太愚蠢了

570
00:21:08,930 --> 00:21:10,500
对吧

571
00:21:10,710 --> 00:21:11,660
我们又是朋友了吗

572
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:12,500
不

573
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,600
我们是兄弟

574
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,870
哎哟 刚才吓死我了

575
00:21:16,870 --> 00:21:18,270
说话别大喘气好吗

576
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:20,840
听着 是兄弟就会吵架 但到头来

577
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,240
他们还是会一直支持对方的

578
00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:24,620
我哥和我老婆上了床

579
00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:26,950
然后他就跑到佛罗里达群岛了

580
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:29,160
我迟早要搞死他

581
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,540
你就安静地做个被捕逃犯吧 伙计

582
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:31,900
不要毁了我们的气氛