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蚂蚁 蚂蚁 蚂蚁

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蚂蚁 蚂蚁

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天呐 到处都是

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你们确定我们清理掉

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所有的食物和面包屑了吗

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为什么大家都在看我们

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是我们把面包屑全吃掉的

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是啊 是我们解决了问题

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可没有蚂蚁在我桌上

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因为我每天都消毒

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那是什么

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啊 那些是你的蚂蚁

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他们把显示屏连接线当成桥了

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现在他们在破坏我们的科技了

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这是场侵略

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我的酸奶里也有了

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现在是私人恩怨了

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好了 够了 我们必须反击

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这是我们的星球

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用Boyle的古龙水就好了 可以击退所有生物

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啊 讨厌

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你得去宾州车站给我买个新的了

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蚂蚁群袭吗

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很糟糕 它们开始咬人了 长官

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我觉得它们只是想避寒

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我们应该把它们冻走

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这招起效了 警监

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是的 我们赢了

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噢我天 它们爬进大衣里了

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它们在我们大衣里

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神烦警探 第二季 第十四集

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好了 我不想让Sopia知道

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我在等她 所以

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我们应该假装争论然后让我赢吗

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哦 或者更好 一场我赢了的肢体较量

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怎么回事

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我以为你和Sophia进展顺利

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Jake

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你做了什么傻事吗

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这是个很好的问题 但其实没有

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我不觉得有

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只是最近有点奇怪

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她有点疏远我

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你和她谈过了吗

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没有 我不想让自己看起来很绝望

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跟她谈是绝望吗

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至少不轻松愉快啊

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Jake 嘿 嘿

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你们在这干嘛呢

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只是针对美国在进行争论

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你知道警长认为

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我们不应该给女性投票权吗

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不是真的

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现在她在了你当然这么说啦

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不过 嘿 既然我们偶遇了

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你今晚什么安排呢 你想约个会吗

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噢不行 我要参加那个布鲁克林

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公设辩护律师协会的活动

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- 记得吗 你称之为"撒旦的慈善舞会之恶魔的崛起"  - 哦对

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- 辩护律师们就是禽兽  - 呃

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呃 除了你 你很好

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真是贴心

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- 对呀 对吧  - 但我现在有点时间

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你想要一起去公园走走吗

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噢 公园散步 真是浪漫

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而且我知道所有的谋杀现场位置

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噢 你想去看它们还是避开它们

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悉听尊便 我的小姐

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Terry 不用等门了

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- 现在是早上十点  - 是的

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副局长Wuntch找你

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噢 别走 Diaz

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我需要一个证人 以防她突然转头一周

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或者变成一头母狼

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你好 Raymond

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没有无力的反驳吗

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发生什么事了

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我是为要事而来

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我是波士顿警局一个职位的候选人

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波士顿 那离塞勒姆很近呀

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你知道他们那儿是怎么对待女巫的吧

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- 太精彩了  - 是警察局长的职位

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我知道了 你是来炫耀的

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不

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我的记录上唯一的瑕疵

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就是我们漫长的个人战争

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波士顿高管想要和你谈谈

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我是来找你帮忙的

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高管会给你打电话

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等等 嘘嘘嘘嘘嘘嘘嘘

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噢 尽享这一刻

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我们说到哪儿了 啊对 你在说

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你的命运是如何被我握在手掌之中的

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哎哟

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噢我的天

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哦不好意思我失去平衡了

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你以为洒一点奶昔能烦扰到我吗

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我是个食物博主 我浑身都是印记

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好了 你们俩是怎么回事

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你知道我们的家长最近在和对方缠绵嘛

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- 恶  - 正是 Amy 恶

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Boyle和我约好让他们分开

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而现在这个恶心的小熊软糖退缩了

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听着 我知道你不希望我们的生活变得缠绕不清

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但事情有所改变了

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我爸想要娶你妈

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所以你选择了你爸而不是我

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一个讨厌你的同事

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拔拔是个绅士

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在得到Gina的祝福前 他不会求婚的

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而她不愿意祝福他

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谁会用"拔拔"这词啊 你是个法国小男孩吗

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噢吼吼吼

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我觉得我应该能帮上忙

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我上了门解决冲突的课 然后

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等了好几周了终于有机会把这家伙放出来了

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新文件夹味

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别 Amy 别这样

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我会朝你脸上泼奶昔的

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真不错

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我感觉自己就像老人

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要在这儿坐下吗

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Jake 我有些事要和你说

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就是 我上司最近都不给我任何好案子

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然后我发现是因为我和警察在一起

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什么

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他真的这么说了吗

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没 但我的同事是这么说的

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你知道 所有跟我一起工作的人

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都视警察为敌人

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真是疯了 他们才是敌人

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我知道你什么意思了

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Jake 我真的很喜欢你

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但我的工作对我也真的很重要

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我们能按下暂停吗

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按下暂停

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等到我知道要怎么应付我上司就好了

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可以吗

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所以只是因为你上司吗

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好吧 好 那就按下暂停吧

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来好好地暂他一停

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就像我暂停里的

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杰米李柯蒂斯一样地暂停吧

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我没看过那片 但我猜她是裸着的

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嗯哼

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"暂停"感觉不太好啊 Jake

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你怎么没有更难过

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因为Sophia的问题不是我

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是她的蠢上司

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这是我可以解决的

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我要让他喜欢我

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这是目标 Geoffrey Hoytsman

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现在 根据网络搜索

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他的兴趣是 滑雪 他的梗犬

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大西洋城 电影 还有大自然

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很显然大自然超级无聊

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而奴隶电影有点冒险

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- 非常冒险  - 是啊

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所以我会把话题集中在滑雪和大西洋城

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等我今晚去布鲁克林公设辩护人协会的

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募捐会上和他聊天的时候

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又名 屁股云集之室

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不等等 这么叫太性感了

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奸人云集之室

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总之 活动八点开始

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所以你要准备换装了

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什么 我才不会去呢

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拜托了 警长 来吧

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为了我 为了爱

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妈的 Jake 你知道Terry很爱爱的

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- 我加入  - 好了

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挂上你最假的笑容

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因为我们要深入野兽之腹了

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再假点

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啊 这就对了 要上了

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最恶劣的敌人们都在这儿了

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棕发男 马尾女

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亚洲版唐钱德尔

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我拒绝知道他们的名字

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因为名字让他们人性化

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但你绝不会忘记他们自以为是的律师脸

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每一张脸都带起一段详细的恐怖记忆

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就像法庭版创伤后应激障碍

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无能

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笨蛋

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薄荷糖

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那个薄荷糖可能会让我噎住呢

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那些人不错的也都是精神病

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好了 来吧 加油鼓劲

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- 重击我的肩膀  - 这我擅长

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等等 不别伤害我

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啊这主意不好 我还是自己来吧

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上吧

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警探 请坐

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我正在和一个十分恼人的难题作斗争

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对于副局长Wuntch该怎么做吗

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正是如此

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我可以搞砸她的升职

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光是这么说说就给我的灵魂注入了喜悦

200
00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:09,840
但这么做

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就说明她会继续待在这纽约城

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像只白化蝙蝠一般悬在我头上

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换个角度讲 如果我"表扬"了Wuntch

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她就会离开这个城市

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拨开云雾见青天

206
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孩子们都会高歌"Wutch已经走了"

207
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哪儿来的孩子们

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所有的孩子们

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好吧 那问题太不过脑子了

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警长的建议是什么来着

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哎哟 咱俩都清楚圣母Jeffords会说些什么

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"做事凭良心"

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但是我找的人是你

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Diaz探员 因为你深知"复仇"的含义

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的确如此

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以前我有过一个死对头

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Carla Bianchi

218
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她招惹了我

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于是我就像拍死虫子一样拍死了她

220
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我让二年级的她休学了

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才二年级

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那个小蠢货把所有好用的马克笔都藏起来了

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但到头来 她还是回学校了

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并且在之后的十年里让我生不如死

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那么做不值得

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对Wuntch好点

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"对Wuntch好点"

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你出去吧

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圣母Diaz

230
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,310
烦死了 大家都在看着我们

231
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:21,510
只因为我们是同样健壮的夜礼服美男

232
00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:23,950
Sophia

233
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:27,020
嗨 女朋友

234
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:29,340
比预料中的浮夸了一些

235
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:30,010
没错

236
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,820
嗨 Jake 你来这里做什么

237
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,690
我们不是说好要"按下暂停"吗

238
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:35,530
是的呀 我不是来找你的

239
00:08:35,530 --> 00:08:37,400
我是来找你老板Geoffery Hoystman的

240
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:38,180
我要和他交朋友

241
00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:38,820
哦 天哪

242
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:40,010
哦 的确是"太好啦"

243
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,210
你这是故意听错我的话吧

244
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:43,000
有可能吧 听着 我马上就去魅惑他

245
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,770
他就会再给你分些好的案子

246
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:45,560
肯定会成功的

247
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,100
不 根本没戏

248
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:48,900
我该怎么给你解释呢

249
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:49,670
喔 对了

250
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:52,440
想象一下 这个屋子都是高智商机器人

251
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,750
他们执意要消灭人类

252
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,380
而你作为工人阶级的人类

253
00:08:56,380 --> 00:08:57,620
却误打误撞地进了他们的老巢

254
00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:59,520
不错 我爱这个 也爱你 继续吧

255
00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:03,020
你第一次向我表达爱意的时刻居然这么诡异

256
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,390
- 糟糕哦  - 真的吗

257
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:05,800
这件事我还是一笔带过吧

258
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,670
听着 重点是 机器人是不会被你魅惑的

259
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:11,140
你还是趁他们把你扒皮割脑前赶紧跑吧

260
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:13,200
告诉你 我已经调查过Hoytsman这个人了

261
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,560
滑雪 大自然 大西洋城

262
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:16,600
我已经准备好了

263
00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:19,700
Sophia Jeffords警长

264
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,070
Peralta探员

265
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:23,510
别这么生疏 我的朋友都叫我滑雪狂Jakey

266
00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:25,110
因为我老是在滑雪

267
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,180
经常在高难度黑钻坡道上练卡宾式雪上技巧

268
00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:28,900
我比较喜欢越野滑雪

269
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,180
全靠引力帮忙的根本不算是运动

270
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:33,420
没错 地心引力太没劲了

271
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:34,570
指的不是电影 是理论

272
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,920
话说 我最近几个周末都是在大西洋城度过的

273
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,060
- 哎哟 那小破地方  - 不是吧

274
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:42,730
那么 请容我带着Sophia先告退一步

275
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,460
机器人不会被你魅惑

276
00:09:45,430 --> 00:09:47,230
刚才那是搞什么

277
00:09:47,230 --> 00:09:49,200
他一直都在大西洋城啊

278
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,940
他都恨透那儿了为啥还要去呢

279
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:53,100
除非他喜欢的什么东西也在那里

280
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:55,110
我猜他喜欢赌博

281
00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:57,010
就是像我现在来到这个破地方

282
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,840
就是为了我现在爱人Sophia

283
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,480
你真是铁了心要爱到底了啊

284
00:10:00,510 --> 00:10:01,880
可不是 我都大声说出来了 既成事实

285
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,440
我也没法更改了 赶紧跟上啦Terry

286
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:05,770
你好啊 Gina

287
00:10:06,650 --> 00:10:07,920
你们想搞什么名堂

288
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,950
害得我把视线从手机上挪开了

289
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,760
你最好祈祷我没有错过一条短信

290
00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:13,990
你抬头两秒里能有几条短信啊

291
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:16,790
十七条 全都是重要短信

292
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:18,830
Amy建议我们约法三章

293
00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:21,200
那么 如果你答应成全我爸

294
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,500
我就为你做接下来的这些事

295
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,670
"你不会在家庭旅行中看到穿着睡衣的我"

296
00:10:25,670 --> 00:10:27,200
"我们永远不会睡上下铺"

297
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:31,710
"而且我决不强求你拍我们每年的圣诞节主题贺卡"

298
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,080
今年我爸扮演圣母玛利亚 我扮演小耶稣

299
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,480
我明白 我收到了 简直噩梦

300
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,050
我的承诺还有很多 我已经签字同意了

301
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:39,100
是Amy公证的

302
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:39,750
我是公证人

303
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:41,690
没啥的 我以前见过监查官

304
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,090
好吧 告诉你们吧

305
00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:45,260
重点不在于我们俩的生活会纠缠不清 你明白吗

306
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,030
我只是在担心我的妈妈

307
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:49,160
因为她以前被人伤害过

308
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,250
这事进展得太快了

309
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,300
哇 Gina

310
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,430
这话真是太贴心了

311
00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:56,070
之所以我不跟你们说这些

312
00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:57,770
是因为我根本不拿你们当人看

313
00:10:57,770 --> 00:10:59,700
所以 我就觉着吧 这么坦诚干嘛

314
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:02,380
哦 你把刚才的气氛毁了个一干二净

315
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:05,240
告诉你 我深知自己泡妞技术超群

316
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,480
左拥右抱 阅女无数

317
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,110
但我爸不是那样的人

318
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:10,820
他永远不会伤害你妈妈的

319
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,410
你跟他谈谈就知道了

320
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:15,750
好吧 我会和他谈的

321
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,290
就问他些问题

322
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,110
但你赶紧在我改变心意前给我把他找来

323
00:11:19,110 --> 00:11:19,720
- 没问题  - 没问题

324
00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:21,630
哦哟 我已经改变心意了

325
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:23,500
好了 我又改回来了

326
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:24,930
改回来了

327
00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:27,570
那之后 法官当场就决定不予受理了

328
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,400
那个法官的声线可低沉了 是不是

329
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,040
我要去 找些吃的了

330
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,510
嗨

331
00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:39,700
我出五块钱 赌你猜不出来他们提供的三道开胃菜

332
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:44,250
恭敬不如从命

333
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,680
沙嗲鸡肉

334
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,050
鞑鞑鲔鱼

335
00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,880
酒杯装的西班牙凉菜汤

336
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,350
沙嗲鸡肉 鞑鞑鲔鱼

337
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,080
没有凉菜汤哟

338
00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:55,380
凉菜汤去哪儿啦 Hoytsman

339
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,060
太好了 凉菜汤

340
00:11:58,060 --> 00:12:00,800
不 玩的不错

341
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,000
但是你想不想继续加倍赌注

342
00:12:02,030 --> 00:12:03,060
洗耳恭听

343
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,520
喔 刚好打进了杯子

344
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:11,600
我打赌你猜不出警长的身高

345
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,450
等于多少个鸡蛋卷的长度

346
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,360
二十四

347
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,690
整整二十五个鸡蛋卷那么高

348
00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:20,050
来个蛋卷庆祝一下

349
00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:21,490
嗨 伙计 那玩意刚碰过地板

350
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:22,790
你也在地板上呢

351
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:27,690
赌六十块 你没法在不弄倒整个塔的情况下抽走一个杯子

352
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:29,310
你可没说不能拿最顶上的

353
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,700
赞

354
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:39,440
赌一百块 我能从屋顶上跳下来不摔死

355
00:12:39,470 --> 00:12:42,170
喔 那你可没戏

356
00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:43,940
只是在逗你 Peralta

357
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:44,910
我去趟厕所

358
00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,750
等我回来比谁嘴里能塞更多的虾吧

359
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,250
比就比 我的嘴可不是一般大

360
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:48,880
你要倒大霉了

361
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,080
Jake 我以为你走了

362
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,220
你刚才是在和Hoytsman说话吗

363
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,450
侃侃大山 建立友谊 小赌怡情

364
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:57,060
喔 我应该和他比比谁尿尿时间更长

365
00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:59,360
秘诀就是掐紧点

366
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,430
好嘞 我马上回来

367
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:02,420
喔 让我先给小坦克装点弹

368
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,000
啊 你好呀 Geoffrey

369
00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:07,960
你好

370
00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:10,770
哟 这不是可卡因么

371
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,470
今晚真是让我无比紧张

372
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,300
哦嗨 别走太远

373
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:20,020
有人把香槟塔弄倒了

374
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:20,870
我只能靠你了

375
00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:22,900
Jake是很蠢 但他也很机智

376
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,290
我觉得他的计划好像真的有用

377
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:26,420
哦 天哪

378
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:28,480
嗨 所以

379
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,950
没啥的 我只是逮捕了你的老板

380
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:31,980
我就不该来这儿

381
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,280
好吧 是我理解有误

382
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,520
喔 要命了 这也太要命了

383
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,120
我刚才什么都没做

384
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,720
他刚才就在厕所里嗑药

385
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,860
好吧 最后说一次 事情不是那样的

386
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,420
哟 这不是可卡因么

387
00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:44,720
你你你敢肯定吗

388
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,200
我出五块钱赌你说错了

389
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,630
让我凑近点看看 顺便闻一闻

390
00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:49,920
不 别

391
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,270
好好好 可卡因就可卡因

392
00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:54,380
我只是不小心吸了些可卡因嘛

393
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,340
根本不是不小心

394
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:56,860
你是故意把它放到鼻子上的

395
00:13:56,860 --> 00:13:59,260
我可不觉得自己有鼻子呢 Peralta

396
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:01,200
我根本感觉不到

397
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,250
辩护完毕

398
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,850
嘘 小声点

399
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:04,880
这儿发生什么了

400
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:05,820
- 没什么  - 什么都没有

401
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:11,040
Sophia的条子男友要当着我的朋友和同事的面逮捕我

402
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:15,830
嗨 各位 我叫Jake

403
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:17,810
在场的各位有谁看过吗

404
00:14:20,130 --> 00:14:21,830
最佳影片儿

405
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,700
那么 Diaz

406
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:24,770
木已成舟了

407
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,240
你搞垮了她的升职计划吗

408
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:27,570
可惜的是 没有

409
00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:30,270
我给那个白骨精写了一封很好的推荐信

410
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,740
你讲的那个藏记号笔的女孩的事对我影响颇深

411
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,710
我开始发觉到

412
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:35,690
如果连你都觉得我应该凭良心做事

413
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,680
那我可能就该这么做了

414
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,550
抱歉你没能报仇雪恨

415
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,820
- 圣母Holt  - 说得好

416
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:44,660
但我还在谋划给她一些颜色看看

417
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:47,620
我给她准备了一个离别礼物

418
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:49,630
的票吗

419
00:14:49,630 --> 00:14:51,130
是在波士顿演出的

420
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:52,460
她就要搬去一个二流的城市

421
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,800
我想要伤口上撒盐

422
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,530
享受制作粗糙的音乐剧吧 Madeline

423
00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:58,940
指Kristin Chenoweth 首演中女二号演员 极其代表曲目
祝你看肥胖的冒牌Chenoweth

424
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,700
用柔声颤出看得开心
指Kristin Chenoweth 首演中女二号演员 极其代表曲目

425
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:04,740
你好啊 Lynn

426
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:05,880
好啊 Regina

427
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,540
不要跟我玩花招 小样

428
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:09,380
这真是个馊主意

429
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:11,140
不 一切都在掌握中 我爸能搞定的

430
00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:12,350
他可是很会讲话的

431
00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:14,020
废话少说

432
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:16,350
- 好  - 你对我妈到底有什么企图

433
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:19,220
每天早上都跟她爱爱一直到我们死为止

434
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:21,290
所以只是生理上的需要喽

435
00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:22,630
你疯了吗

436
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,260
我不过是个离异而且退休的花农

437
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:25,980
还有严重的麸质过敏症

438
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:29,570
你妈妈则是美丽聪明的旅行代理人

439
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:33,180
她都跟那些周游过世界的人打电话呢

440
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:34,940
我再也遇不到哪怕只有她一半好的人了

441
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:36,910
她是我生命中遇到的最美好的事情

442
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:40,280
你的意思是除了Charles外吗

443
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,550
不

444
00:15:41,550 --> 00:15:43,510
她就是我生命中遇到的最美好的事

445
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,820
我可以忍的 拔拔

446
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,420
你只不过做了你该做的事情

447
00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:48,650
我爱她

448
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:51,760
我唯一想做的就是让她永远幸福

449
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,890
好吧 我给你们祝福

450
00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:56,390
但如果你胆敢用任何方式伤害我妈

451
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,400
愿上帝助我 我会切掉

452
00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,700
你儿子的蛋蛋

453
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,670
剪掉 剪掉 剪掉 我可不是在说笑

454
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,000
一言为定

455
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,540
干得好 老爸

456
00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:07,810
你搞定了她

457
00:16:07,810 --> 00:16:09,870
Boyle家爷俩要准备婚礼啦

458
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,680
Boyle爷俩 Boyle爷俩

459
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:14,010
Boyle爷俩 Boyle爷俩

460
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,050
你搞砸了呀 老兄

461
00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:19,880
你以为这件事之后她还会爱你吗

462
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,120
她会看清你到底是谁

463
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,190
嘿 你对我和Sophia一无所知好吗

464
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,760
什么 我在跟我自己说话好吗

465
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,020
我在说我老婆

466
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,390
她知道了可不会高兴

467
00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:29,260
谁关心你和你那恶心的生活啊

468
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,300
Jake 小心

469
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,830
哦 嘿 Sophia 谢天谢地你来了

470
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:35,430
我正准备找你谈谈

471
00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:36,800
Jake 我不是来跟你谈谈的

472
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:37,900
我是代表Geoffrey的律师

473
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,400
哦 我自己就能做 看好了

474
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,770
反对 反对 反对 反对 反对

475
00:16:41,770 --> 00:16:43,240
五个 五个反对

476
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,380
所以这个"可卡因"也许并不那么严重

477
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,710
好了 Geoffrey 作为律师我必须

478
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:49,350
建议你现在在警探面前

479
00:16:49,350 --> 00:16:50,480
停止说话兼认罪

480
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,880
好 你看 我知道你现在很生气

481
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,450
但我已经跟地区检察官说了 他也已经同意撤诉

482
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:56,650
Geoffrey只需要做一点社区服务就可以了

483
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:58,190
而且也不会记录在他的档案上

484
00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,490
还不够好 你没有证据

485
00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:02,030
Sophia 他的领子上现在可还有可卡因呢

486
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,490
哦 现在没有了

487
00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:05,000
喔

488
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:06,900
你现在可真是搞不清楚情况呢

489
00:17:06,930 --> 00:17:08,130
你知道吗 都是因为可卡因

490
00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:09,700
我一般很能搞得清楚状况

491
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,200
嘘 我必须逮捕他

492
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,740
- 我没有其他选择  - 真的吗

493
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,270
因为我可以想到另外五十种办法

494
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:15,510
来处理这种情况

495
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,240
天啊 你可真是个律师

496
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,610
你可真是个警察

497
00:17:18,610 --> 00:17:20,380
我都告诉你了我需要点空间来想明白一些事情

498
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:21,750
然后你就破门而入

499
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,550
实践了你脑海中的第一个想法

500
00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:24,980
这怎么就是我的错 你的混蛋老板

501
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:26,850
非要把他的混蛋鼻子放进一堆混蛋可卡因中去

502
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,150
你跟着他进了厕所

503
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:30,190
在一个你都没被邀请的派对上

504
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:32,260
嘿 你知道吗 我们结束了

505
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,790
这样好吗 我去跟地方检察官说说

506
00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:35,560
看我能不能把社区服务减半

507
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,660
- 这样好不好  - 不好 Jake 不是这件案子

508
00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:39,110
你跟我之间结束了

509
00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:46,020
Jake 你在干什么

510
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,050
我想要拦住你

511
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:49,850
为了装逼 我走的楼梯

512
00:17:49,850 --> 00:17:51,190
- 你可是有点喘啊  - 是啊

513
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,120
浪漫真的好难

514
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,590
你能不能先说 差不多 20分钟的话

515
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:55,660
我来缓缓气

516
00:17:55,690 --> 00:17:56,930
我没什么好说的

517
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,000
别这样吧

518
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,560
这只不过是一场无缘由的愚蠢争吵

519
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,500
我可不想我们就因为这个分手

520
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:02,700
Jake 我们俩的工作就不相容

521
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,170
我们的生活也充满矛盾

522
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,700
这样呢 我们以后再也不谈论工作上的事情

523
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,170
也不跟彼此的朋友互动

524
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,440
或者也不在公共场合承认彼此

525
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,970
我知道这听起来像描述敌人

526
00:18:09,970 --> 00:18:11,310
但我们可以成功的

527
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:12,410
我们就是罗密欧和朱丽叶

528
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,210
但是罗密欧和朱丽叶可没成功

529
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:16,510
他们的结局是悲惨地双双自杀了

530
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:17,680
结局是那样吗

531
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,820
那为什么人们还这么喜欢那剧

532
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:21,090
好吧 这样 Jake 你很有意思 好吗

533
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:22,420
我们不过也只约会了三个月

534
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:24,290
也没有那么认真

535
00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:25,890
恩 但是对我来说很认真

536
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,230
我都不小心说了四遍"我爱你"了

537
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:29,630
我知道 我

538
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,600
我只是不认为我恰巧也爱你

539
00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:35,370
明白吗 只不过 太多事情要做了

540
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,370
我愿意做这些事情

541
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,070
我不愿意

542
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:41,740
对不起

543
00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:49,510
双双自杀

544
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,550
你好啊 Madeline

545
00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:54,950
Raymond 我正准备给你电话呢

546
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,620
我想谢谢你好心的推荐

547
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,220
我想给你这个

548
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,760
的票

549
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,730
Beth Danube主演

550
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,600
算你狠 Raymond

551
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:07,560
但不幸的是呢 我恐怕是用不上这票了

552
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:09,630
- 因为我不会调去波士顿  - 什么

553
00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:12,270
我不过是假借对波士顿的工作感兴趣

554
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,740
来得到在纽约市警察局的升迁

555
00:19:14,740 --> 00:19:16,910
我现在可是对你有着

556
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,580
从未有过的权力

557
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:21,710
为了感谢你我只好把这些票还你

558
00:19:21,710 --> 00:19:24,250
你在开玩笑

559
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,250
我要给局长打电话

560
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,170
嘘 嘘 嘘 嘘

561
00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:30,160
我知道你绝不会推荐我去波士顿

562
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,720
如果你内心深处认为我不能胜任那份工作

563
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,770
搞什么

564
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,800
这一轮我请了 谢谢你们

565
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,540
- 敬Amy  - 哦

566
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,370
你解决冲突的能力

567
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:52,510
使我童年时的美梦成真

568
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,710
我终于可以成为一个男花童了

569
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,350
你难道不认为你爸爸会让你当伴郎吗

570
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:58,150
哦 我觉得他想让Jake当

571
00:19:58,150 --> 00:20:01,650
挪过去点 拜托 我可有一个婚礼要筹划

572
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:03,020
既然事已至此

573
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,960
我可不会让它变成Boyle爷俩的活动

574
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:06,860
首先 所有的伴娘

575
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:09,790
都要穿成中罗珊娜的样子

576
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:10,860
哦 我喜欢那个剧

577
00:20:10,860 --> 00:20:13,000
一个持证的萨满巫师会主持典礼

578
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,630
花童要是一匹货真价实的狼

579
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:20,100
天啊我也可以做到 但我四肢着地不会那么雄伟

580
00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:21,470
这个婚礼听起来怪怪的 我喜欢

581
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,170
敬Lynn和Darlene Boyle夫妇

582
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,780
干杯

583
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:26,640
恶心

584
00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:28,910
女朋友离我而去

585
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,680
女对头不离不弃

586
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,880
别这样 老大

587
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,150
要关注好的方面

588
00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:34,750
你可以抬头挺胸了

589
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,590
你选择了高尚的方式对待Wuntch

590
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:37,960
也没有

591
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,560
我一个人在她办公室的时候 修改了她的自动纠错系统

592
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,190
现在如果她打"Wuntch" 就会被改成"屁股"

593
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:47,200
啊 我真不该去参加那个派对

594
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,430
我真不该跟着去厕所

595
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:50,000
我真不该逮捕了她上司

596
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,400
我不这样认为

597
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,670
你每件事都做对了 你是一个好警察

598
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,140
好孤单的警察

599
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:57,110
嘿 兄弟 你已经努力争取了

600
00:20:57,110 --> 00:20:58,240
你可没嬉皮笑脸的

601
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,950
你喜欢Sophia 你也为了她争取过

602
00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:02,110
你应该为自己骄傲

603
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:04,010
不 你应该改她的自动纠错系统

604
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:05,150
她姓什么

605
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:06,520
- Perez  - 不再是了

606
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:07,620
现在也是"屁股"了

607
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,590
Sophia 屁股

608
00:21:09,590 --> 00:21:11,620
感觉不错 不是吗

609
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:12,720
并没有

610
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,760
好吧

611
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:15,930
让我们不醉不归

612
00:21:15,930 --> 00:21:17,630
啊 好吧 好吧 好吧 好 好 好 好

613
00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,800
我的 我的