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我追查了两年的造假犯Gregor Minsk

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终于重出江湖了

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他还是一如既往地邪恶

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是哦 你恨透了他

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就是因为他在假币上打错了个字

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不

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我恨他是因为他造了足足四百万的假钞啊 Jake

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但话说"合众为二"是搞什么啊

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那些收银员都没学过拉丁语吗

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好啦

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让我们把热烈的掌声送给Amy说的那堆什么玩意儿

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警局的总结会还没完呢

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我知道你尽力了

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但是想想正事吧 各位

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婚礼就在明天

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我的妈妈就要嫁给 惊恐脸

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Charles他爸 马桶表情

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我们俩就要变成兄妹啦

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可谁成想 不久前的我们

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还在猛玩对方的性感带呢

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Charles 快告诉我这不是你的祝酒词

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好吧不是

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拜托啊 伙计

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听着 我要让一切都尽善尽美

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刷新动态

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Rosa 鲜花怎么样了

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我不知道啊

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黄的吧

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Terry熊呢

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我特意改装了自己的晚礼服

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让它紧得如你所愿

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赞哟

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Jake 你和珠宝商约好了没

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约好了 他们说戒指会在婚礼当天两点时准备好

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去婚礼会场时 我会把戒指顺路带上的

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这事至关重要 Jake

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你确定你没问题吗

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呃 我想想啊

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简单 最后通牒 至关重要

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正是我Peralta的办事标准

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很好

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这些任务在这儿享有最高优先级

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嫌犯什么的想逃就让他们逃吧

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明白没 散会

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呃 我的总结还没做完呢

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我说了散会

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神烦警探 第二季 第十七集

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各位 猜猜我要见谁了

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波波吗

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麦克·波雷

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好吧 就你一个人会这么叫他

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而且错了 是Jenny Gildenhorn

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那个在你的成人礼上甩了你的姑娘吗

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没错

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她和Eddie Fung跳慢舞的场景依旧历历在目

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All Out of Love - Air Supply
*我已与爱绝缘*

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*失去你的我已迷失方向*
All Out of Love - Air Supply

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那婊子这样对你 我绝不宽恕她

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你最好还是宽恕她吧

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因为她马上就要成为

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我的女朋友

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原来Gina的妈妈和Jenny Gildenhorn的妈妈是朋友

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于是Jenny也要出现在婚礼现场

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没错

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我终于要跳上那段曾被Fung抢走的慢舞了

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她还是单身吗

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是呀

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在我们13岁后第一次单身

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Eddie Fung被Colin Brandow取代了

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然后是Ethan Stokes

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然后是Tanya Astor(女名) 别告诉她妈妈

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然后她遇到了她的老公 Matt Hench

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他们在三个月前刚离婚

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八成因为那男的是个大废柴

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你想啊 美国律师助理这活也太不正经了

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看来你监视她好久了呢

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我在这儿基本上就在干这个

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怎么了 Charles是中风了吗

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不 他是在警告我你来了

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然后我就不会聊别的姑娘的事了

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我怕你们这样会很尴尬

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因为你们俩的往事

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一点儿也不尴尬

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是啊

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我告诉Amy我喜欢她

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她说自己深深地爱着我

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不过这些都是往事了

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我可没说"爱"和"深深地"

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都说了是往事了 Amy 醒醒吧

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Rosa 我想问问Marcus和婚礼的事儿

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我不会带上Marcus的

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你们分手了吧

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嗯 就让它这么过去吧

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我们的命运是如此相似

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我们才没有分手

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我只是对这段感情还有顾虑

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而且我可不想把他带到什么白痴婚礼上

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听他腻腻歪歪地说"我爱你"

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他要是说了我该怎么办啊

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也跟他说"我爱你"呗

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我只对三个人说过"我爱你"

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我妈 我爸 和我快死了的爷爷

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而且其中一个让我后悔至今

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哪个

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爷爷

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他战胜了癌症 搞得我现在像个白痴

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我的天

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你们俩有谁愿意

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成为这场世纪之婚的主角

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都说过了 我是不会跳艳舞的

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这活儿总会有人揽的

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更重要的是 我妈的牧师请退了

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所以我需要你们俩里的一个站出来

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谁更擅长

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情真意切地来一段关于真爱的演讲呢

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看来我不得不弃权了

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我可以的 我已经做过一次了

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Mario Karen 昨日胸与肩的锻炼

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成就了你们今日心与灵魂的下半生

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妙啊

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你把庆典和新人们的兴趣结合在了一起

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是的 是的 我就是这个意思

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我是说 我愿意谈论的事情

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可不止健身这一件

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所以 你妈在健身时最喜欢做什么动作

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我妈喜欢香槟 烤通心粉 还有巴哈马群岛

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Charles他爸应该是住在桥底下

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用脏水潭当镜子吧

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我不知道 你自己问去吧

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好了

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戒指我拿到了 走吧

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好的 谢谢 别再碰海洛因了

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是你妈吗

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不

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那是我的线人

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她在四条街远的地方发现了我的造假犯

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我们必须去看一眼

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呃 可我还想早点到婚礼现场

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把右手边的位子占给Jenny呢

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我练哭练了好久

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发现这条泪管流的眼泪更多

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拜托了 我追查这人有两年了

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这要是你的嫌犯你会怎样

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我会在九个月前在摩天轮上和他枪战时 把他绳之以法

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Minsk是我的宿敌

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他就是我的Eddie Fung

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Fung

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好的 那我就懂了

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我们去调查你的线索

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然后再去婚礼那边

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一起去揪出Eddie Fung

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Minsk

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哦对 Minsk

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Fung

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喔 Regina 这布置真是太美了

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只要你高兴 我就高兴

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Rosa 啊 你在这儿呢

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你能帮我爸扣一下袖扣吗

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没问题

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我本来能帮他的

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但儿子在婚礼上看到爸爸是要倒大霉的

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哦 这样的话 没戏

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Rosa 拜托了

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滑坡谬误 将因果关系的可能性误用作必然性 从而得到不合理的结论
滑坡谬误表明

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开着的袖扣会导致Lynn穿着破高领毛衣在走廊里站着
滑坡谬误 将因果关系的可能性误用作必然性 从而得到不合理的结论

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其实吧 我爸穿高领毛衣挺有范的

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让他看起来像性感的Elliott Gould

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Charles 闭嘴

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Rosa 去找Lynn Boyle扣他一脸

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好了

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谢谢

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你紧张吗

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并不啦

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我是全身心地爱着Darlene Linetti

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哇 我可不敢想象

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毫无猜疑地和另一个人在一起

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我是有点儿猜疑

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一丁点儿猜疑

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你觉得这会成问题吗

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只要你觉得她是你的唯一就不成问题

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是 那当然了

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可是之前五次婚礼上我都是这么想的

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拜托 别告诉Charles

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他 他只知道其中的三次

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这就是线上遇到网骗的悲剧啊 你懂吧

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其实有两次约到的还是同一个人

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没关系

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就是你花了一阵子才能找对人

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对 或者我一直都在重蹈覆辙

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Lynn Boyle一头扎向下一个大错

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就像我上次试着练水上体操

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结果扭了自己的脖子

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这次要彻底完蛋了

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等着 我这就叫Charles过来

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真好奇今晚Jenny Gildenhorn会穿什么

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你说她会不会穿着高中时的曲棍球服呢

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真疯狂 是吧

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没错 她疯了才会穿那种衣服参加婚礼

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是 你说的对

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啊 好吧 我恐怕得说 没有Minsk的踪迹

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我们真的得走了 Jenny还等着呢

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我的天 快看

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- Fung  - 是Minsk

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对 Minsk 我知道他是Minsk

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我们走

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安全

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他肯定就在这儿

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安全

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我好开心 西装在身 枪在手

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我感觉就像詹姆士邦德

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而你是我一直搭档的

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神秘的蛇蝎美人 卫生棉

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- 卫生棉  - 我不知道

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我不想把名字起得太色情

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然后我慌了

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安全 如果我们在

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十五分钟之内抓住这人 我们就还赶得上婚礼

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所以你对Jenny Gildenhorn的开场白会是什么

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我觉得我会说 "Jamie Gordenhorn"

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你懂得 装出一副我并没有在网上

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视奸了她二十年的样子

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或者你可以叫她真正的名字

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- 女生们喜欢那样  - 我不知道

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我觉得女生们喜欢被蒙骗

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不吗 好吧

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安全

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所以你对于我和Jenny Gildenhorn没意见吗

228
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:49,340
当然了

229
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,470
我们之间是过去了

230
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,040
- 我们说过的  - 我知道

231
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,140
但那是在你看见我穿这件赞爆的西装之前

232
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,510
我是说 你肯定吓坏了

233
00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:58,450
哦确实 我超喜欢租来的衣服

234
00:07:58,450 --> 00:07:59,780
我喜欢他们被套在那么多的屁股上过

235
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,350
我知道你是在嘲笑我

236
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,120
但那性感的声音有点让我有感觉

237
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,650
但更重要的是 这是套华丽的行头 好吗

238
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,220
我为了三扣外套还破了财

239
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,890
这要多八美金呢

240
00:08:08,890 --> 00:08:10,890
他往巷子跑了

241
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:17,370
哇哦 嘿 爸爸 这下面是你儿子

242
00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:18,570
Charles Boyle

243
00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:20,470
Rosa说你有个私人问题

244
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,740
不 我没有 我没有 我只是对我做的

245
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:24,740
一切决定都起了怀疑

246
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:27,080
哦我的天 为什么我要买辆方形的车

247
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,510
因为你喜欢呀 爸爸 听着

248
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,910
让我们坐下来 噢

249
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,920
不管两千年的传统了

250
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,150
我要把袋子拿下来

251
00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:39,250
好了 爸爸 听着

252
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:41,320
每个人都会紧张 每个人都会胆怯

253
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,660
在我娶Eleanor的时候我也紧张了

254
00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,160
她在最后和

255
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,860
床垫广告里的人出轨了

256
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,830
- 瞌睡Stu吗  - 别提起瞌睡Stu

257
00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:50,530
Rosa觉得我应该取消婚礼

258
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,830
我没有这么说

259
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,200
所以我才不和人说话

260
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,500
我只是问了下他会不会紧张

261
00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:57,670
Rosa 你知道Boyle家男人有多容易被影响

262
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,510
我只看了一部塞缪尔杰克逊的电影

263
00:08:59,510 --> 00:09:02,080
然后我就戴了一顶坎戈尔的帽子三年

264
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,180
啊 事情有点混乱

265
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:06,720
而且承办人煮了一只和平鸽

266
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,380
所以我需要点好消息

267
00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:10,590
演讲词怎么样了

268
00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:11,750
- 你想听吗  - 好

269
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,460
"Darlene和Lynn

270
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:17,130
"我希望你们记住路德范德鲁斯唱过的

271
00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:22,760
"'来自你的一千个吻

272
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:26,270
"'来自你的一千个吻

273
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:29,440
"'从来都不会太多'"

274
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:30,910
他每次读这句 就会崩溃

275
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,140
我以为你以前做过的

276
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,710
是啊 但那只是健身的比喻而已

277
00:09:35,710 --> 00:09:37,180
你让我准备的华丽点

278
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:39,450
我就被带的太深了

279
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,080
Terry 很抱歉 但你被炒了

280
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,690
警监 演讲归你了

281
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,990
要富有感情又有诗意

282
00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:47,990
你能做到吗

283
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:49,260
我第一任警监

284
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:51,630
曾经称我为艾米莉·狄金森

285
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,360
太好了

286
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,860
当然 他是用以侮辱我的性取向的

287
00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:57,300
但别担心

288
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,300
我很擅长抒情

289
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,410
纽约警察 我们知道你在这儿 Minsk

290
00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:09,210
不准动

291
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,180
嘿

292
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:19,960
Gregor Minsk 你被捕了

293
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,390
噢

294
00:10:21,390 --> 00:10:22,690
我不能让Jenny看见我这样子

295
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:23,730
我扯坏我的腰带了

296
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,890
没关系 我有一个

297
00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:26,360
可以借给你

298
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,030
是我高中爵士乐队队服里的

299
00:10:29,030 --> 00:10:30,100
我告诉你这个只是

300
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,700
因为你今天是个很棒的搭档

301
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:32,830
嗯哼

302
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:36,000
我吹过圆号

303
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,040
我还在吹

304
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:41,850
噢啥啊啊啊啊啊

305
00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:45,610
宾客全到齐了但是什么都没准备好

306
00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:48,720
我们没有戒指 蛋糕上写着"Darlene和Lunn"

307
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,290
而且烟雾机还不管用了

308
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,450
我可以蹲在圣坛边上吞云吐雾

309
00:10:52,490 --> 00:10:54,690
你就是个冷血的恶人

310
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,390
好了 我们只需要确定其他事都没问题就行了

311
00:10:58,430 --> 00:10:59,430
- Charles  - 嗯

312
00:10:59,430 --> 00:11:01,560
你爸呢 Lunn呢

313
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,930
呃 他的袖扣还有点小问题

314
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,430
你知道我们Boyle家的男人和我们笨拙的火腿手

315
00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:07,940
拜托告诉我你不会在你的

316
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,370
祝酒词里提到你的火腿手

317
00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,610
你让我删去了兄妹上床的部分

318
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,610
所以第十八页有一大段空白

319
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,240
- 第十八页  - 到了

320
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,810
- 按时赶到了  - 恶 Amy

321
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,610
你的裙子脏死了

322
00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:22,150
- 幸好我给你带了备用的衣服  - 嗯

323
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:23,590
我就知道我会讨厌你选的衣服

324
00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:25,650
哦我的天 是Jenny

325
00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:27,820
她到了 我看起来怎么样

326
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:29,960
你看起来棒极了 上吧 邦德

327
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:33,630
谢谢 卫生棉

328
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,230
Jenny Gildenhorn

329
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:36,530
我不知道你也会来

330
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,570
- Jake Peralta  - 是啊

331
00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:39,830
哦我的天 你好吗

332
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,270
我挺好 我挺好

333
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,500
哇哦

334
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:44,040
哦抱歉我有点衣冠不整

335
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,510
我刚在来的路上逮捕了个很危险的货币伪造者

336
00:11:46,510 --> 00:11:47,740
啊 看啊

337
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,500
我外套上的三个扣子之一没扣好

338
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:50,910
一定是打斗中散开的

339
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,810
真是不好意思

340
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:55,450
嘿 我在这儿谁都不认识 你想一起坐吗

341
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,250
呃好呀 我愿意

342
00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:58,820
你先请

343
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,320
呃 Jake 等等

344
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,090
你干什么呢 把戒指给我

345
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,490
你听起来就像咕噜似的

346
00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:05,530
那对我来说毫无意义 我不看那种电影

347
00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:06,800
- 我太漂亮了  - 好吧

348
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,100
别担心

349
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,660
我把戒指放在这儿了

350
00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:10,970
不 那是我的薄荷糖

351
00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,170
我吃薄荷糖 没什么大不了

352
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,940
呃 嗯哼

353
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:16,970
我把戒指弄丢了

354
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,590
哦我的天 哦我的天

355
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,440
我一定是在逮捕的

356
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,990
过程中把戒指丢在这附近了

357
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:24,000
- 我太蠢了  - 不 是我的错

358
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,160
是我说要去抓Minsk的

359
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,300
拜托别爬进来

360
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,470
我不希望你在和Jenny Gildenhorn

361
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:29,230
跳慢舞的时候闻起来像垃圾

362
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,470
噢别担心 我只会

363
00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,440
闻起来像我初中喷的

364
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,710
杰森祭司古龙水

365
00:12:33,710 --> 00:12:36,510
这个叫做"Brandon" 而且非常强烈

366
00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:38,440
Jake 看

367
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,180
哦我的天 你找到了

368
00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:41,180
而且你现在单膝跪着

369
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:43,280
- 你是在求婚吗  - 是的

370
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,450
你愿意 Jacob Peralta 接受这枚戒指

371
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:48,020
并且和我一起去我们奇怪的朋友的父母的婚礼吗

372
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:50,320
我愿意 一千次我愿意

373
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,060
噢

374
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,660
酷(好紧)

375
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,490
是的 就是这么酷 朋友

376
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:58,530
不 我是说戒指真的好紧

377
00:12:58,530 --> 00:12:59,870
Amy 这卡住了

378
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:01,900
- 这戒指卡住了  - 不不不不不不不

379
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,470
- 让我试试  - 我们必须拿下来

380
00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,000
Jenny会觉得我结婚了的

381
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,840
并且这会毁了Lynn和Darlene的婚礼

382
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,240
是是是 这只有我们

383
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,010
你不用假装你在乎他们

384
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,850
好了 Jake找到戒指了

385
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,220
我找到了一个多出的地方给你的媒灵

386
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:18,580
奇怪 她说你安排不出的

387
00:13:18,620 --> 00:13:19,890
因为她是个骗子

388
00:13:19,890 --> 00:13:21,750
你应该换成我的媒灵

389
00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:25,560
最好的地方是 我修好了这个

390
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,530
能用了 你怎么做到的

391
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:30,200
我是在有台烟雾机的公寓里长大的 Charles

392
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,330
我喜欢在早上进入厨房时带点活力

393
00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:35,730
Regina 你太棒了 所有的一切都很完美

394
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:39,670
谢谢你让这变成了我生命中第三好的日子

395
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:40,870
第三

396
00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:41,910
第一是有了你

397
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,940
第二是为了史蒂夫米勒乐队

398
00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:45,240
和巡回乐队管理员上床

399
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,110
我爱你妈妈

400
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:48,450
- 我爱你  - 我爱你

401
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,820
我也来点

402
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:56,360
母亲大人

403
00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:57,860
你做的太棒了

404
00:13:57,890 --> 00:14:00,530
不过我遇到了个小障碍

405
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:04,100
不 别把礼服脱了 Lynn

406
00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:06,130
你干什么呢 我们说好了

407
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:07,830
"如果你伤害了我妈

408
00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:09,840
我就把你儿子的蛋蛋切下来"

409
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,740
是 切了

410
00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:13,140
- 不  - 好吧

411
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,970
虽然我很想那么做

412
00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:16,710
我更想要我妈妈幸福

413
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:18,640
- 所以你能先坐下吗  - 嗯

414
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,250
给我解释一下这是怎么回事

415
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,850
我就是怕是自己太草率了

416
00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:25,350
我都不怎么了解你妈

417
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,920
我都不知道她最喜欢喝什么汤

418
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,090
西红柿汤吗

419
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,420
没人喜欢喝汤 Lynn

420
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:33,630
你们家竟然讨厌汤

421
00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:35,630
- 我都干了什么啊  - 听着

422
00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:38,660
你知道我妈为什么爱你吗

423
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:40,770
因为你勇于冒险

424
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,140
比如你第二次约会送她的那只狗

425
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,340
那种事呀

426
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:46,610
有一半都适得其反

427
00:14:46,610 --> 00:14:48,310
虽然那狗是成功了 但是

428
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:50,480
送狗太糟了 她特讨厌它

429
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,680
但是她爱你勇于尝试的精神

430
00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:56,250
你知道哪种人从来不草率吗

431
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,820
懦夫

432
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:00,850
说的太对了 Rosa

433
00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:04,190
就是懦夫 虽然你是个怪胎

434
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,090
- 像个霍比特人  - 好吧

435
00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:08,360
- 人形土豆泥  - 是吧

436
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,630
但是你不是懦夫 Lynn Boyle

437
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,800
Lynn Linetti 我跟她姓

438
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:14,970
哎呦 你可真帮倒忙

439
00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:17,470
我妈爱你 你也爱她

440
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,810
你就跟着你那不正常的脑回路走

441
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,010
你说的太对了

442
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,940
该结婚喽

443
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:26,680
裤子 爸 裤子

444
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,480
对哦 结婚得穿裤子

445
00:15:28,510 --> 00:15:30,850
婚礼快开始了 你怎么样了

446
00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:35,520
我刚刚在"便宜网上牧师网"注册了牧师

447
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,320
但是演讲稿写的不怎么样

448
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,960
只写出来了首诗

449
00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:42,030
一首诗 听起来好浪漫

450
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:46,300
"婚姻就是一个合同 联结了两个

451
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:50,100
无亲属关系的成年人"

452
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,010
这是个三行俳句诗 也是个事实

453
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,310
一举两得

454
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:56,910
呃 感觉有点不人性化

455
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:59,040
你结婚的时候公证人都说了什么

456
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,250
没什么 同性结婚合法的时候

457
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:03,080
我们不确定是不是马上就会被废除

458
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,380
所以速度才是关键

459
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:07,320
- Kevin 你愿意  - 愿意

460
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:09,590
- 你  - 对对对愿意

461
00:16:09,590 --> 00:16:10,660
结婚了

462
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:12,220
现在回想起来

463
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:15,860
到是希望那"公证人"更"快证人"些

464
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,000
很有趣

465
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,400
Kevin现在还会提起来

466
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,600
啊 我应该用那小段子开场

467
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:24,900
- 真是特别有趣  - 嗯

468
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,070
就是不确定这些人会不会特别欣赏

469
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:29,810
不说段子 不说诗

470
00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:33,580
那我就没的说了 没准我应该即兴发挥

471
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:38,720
爱 供养着人们

472
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:41,290
就像 燕麦粥

473
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,590
好 好 即兴发挥成这样不算差了

474
00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:46,060
我说谎了

475
00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:47,630
我俩小时才写出来刚才那段

476
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:50,630
- 我看起来怎么样  - 哦

477
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:52,430
太棒了

478
00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:54,330
上面 下面

479
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,400
屁屁 屁屁 屁屁

480
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,900
你们这家人太恶心了

481
00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:59,070
但是至少你们准备好了

482
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:00,670
Scully都没的唱了

483
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,010
现在他在唱

484
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:03,910
*别 别 别 别*

485
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:07,130
*别忘记我*

486
00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:08,960
最棒的一首摇滚乐

487
00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:10,480
与并列

488
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,320
嗨 我们有好消息

489
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,390
也有特别好消息

490
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:14,850
好消息是我们找到戒指了

491
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,420
特别好消息是我们绝对丢不了了

492
00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:17,590
你想说什么

493
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:18,920
戒指卡在他手指上了

494
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:20,290
我跟他说了别拿这个装可爱

495
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,780
我什么时候都可爱

496
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:23,660
好吧 好吧 怎么办

497
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:24,760
我能把戒指拽下来

498
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,060
不过可能伤到你的小指头

499
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,270
没关系 我不看着

500
00:17:27,270 --> 00:17:30,270
就不知道你什么时候下手了

501
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:31,940
Jenny 不

502
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:43,810
这是你公主抱我的最后机会了 所以

503
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,650
不

504
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,790
二十年过去我又被撬女人了

505
00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:50,750
我被撬了

506
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,290
她没那么好

507
00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:53,520
我们刚刚看见她跟一个

508
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,960
不怎么认识的男人亲热

509
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,830
不 不是她的错

510
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:59,200
你看看那男的的礼服外套

511
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,670
四个扣子

512
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:08,670
是我们的功劳 我们的性关系促成的这份姻缘

513
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,440
Charles 麦开着 我们都能听见 哥们儿

514
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:23,050
我是Raymond Holt警监 欢迎大家

515
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,890
婚姻就是一纸合同

516
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,660
但并不局限于此

517
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:31,660
婚姻是爱

518
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:34,360
是承诺

519
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,900
是快乐 是理解

520
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:40,500
是耐心 是愤怒

521
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,140
是和谐 它包罗万象

522
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,240
就像燕麦粥

523
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,610
它供养着人们

524
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:52,000
Darlene 你愿意接受Lynn作为你的合法丈夫吗

525
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:52,680
我愿意

526
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,690
Lynn 你愿意接受Darlene作为你的合法妻子吗

527
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:56,390
我愿意

528
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:58,660
我在此宣布你们成为合法夫妻

529
00:18:58,660 --> 00:18:59,920
你可以亲吻新娘了

530
00:19:01,930 --> 00:19:03,190
好样的 老爸

531
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,560
好

532
00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:10,000
不得不说 警监

533
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,500
刚才那仪式做得真好

534
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,370
并不难

535
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:14,340
我只是说出了当年

536
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:15,870
Kevin和我结婚的时候后悔未说的话

537
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:17,840
那我就听不到你机智的

538
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,380
"公证人"更"快证人"段子了

539
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:21,880
嗯 对 没什么可后悔的

540
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,480
不过这些倒是让我想让咱们的誓言

541
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,850
更有些节日气氛

542
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:30,890
你是在建议我们办一个简单真诚的婚礼吗

543
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:33,090
绝对不要夸张

544
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:35,590
我们又不是卡戴珊和侃爷

545
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,730
他俩分别是音乐家和社会名流

546
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,030
刚刚结婚

547
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,160
啊 我知道

548
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,430
他俩曾是的答案

549
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,530
你是说"问题"吧

550
00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:47,000
你们真有趣啊

551
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,780
他没放我的歌

552
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:53,840
- 恭喜 Charles  - Marcus

553
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:54,950
Rosa之前说你不会来

554
00:19:54,980 --> 00:19:56,280
是啊之前是

555
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,780
一个小时前刚接到的电话

556
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,450
不过

557
00:19:59,450 --> 00:20:01,620
我正录着 所以别剧透

558
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:02,720
别担心 我不看

559
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,190
太吓人

560
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:05,890
我去让DJ放

561
00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,690
让这地方嗨起来

562
00:20:10,430 --> 00:20:13,460
唔 我之前没邀请你来这个婚礼

563
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:14,770
是因为我太懦弱了

564
00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:16,630
我怕我们发展的太快

565
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:19,440
不过我现在不在乎了

566
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,740
我爱你

567
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:22,970
我就是想说这些

568
00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:25,910
你如果有事的话可以走人

569
00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:27,240
我也爱你

570
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,420
没有

571
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:36,420
你俩正忙

572
00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:39,090
我这就去车上拿CD

573
00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:41,300
All Out of Love - Air Supply
*我已与爱绝缘*

574
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:42,890
*失去你的我已迷失方向*
All Out of Love - Air Supply

575
00:20:42,890 --> 00:20:44,680
为什么在放这歌

576
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,820
*我知道你是对的*

577
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,000
*一直坚信*

578
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,400
很遗憾你跟Jenny Gildenhorn没成

579
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,270
没什么 她不过是那个

580
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:56,470
我从开始懂爱的时候就迷恋的姑娘

581
00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:58,740
不过我们抓到了坏人

582
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:00,540
谢谢你的帮忙

583
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:02,980
我知道这不是Jenny Gildenhorn

584
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:05,020
但是如果你想跳个慢舞

585
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:07,180
我知道有个人愿意

586
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:08,650
好呀

587
00:21:08,650 --> 00:21:10,090
太好了

588
00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:12,060
这是Gina的姑奶奶Susan

589
00:21:12,060 --> 00:21:13,890
- 嗨  - 她跟我说了你一晚上了

590
00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:16,660
说你长的特别帅 说你有舞蹈家的架子

591
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,460
您有双慧眼 夫人

592
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:20,230
请

593
00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:23,800
哦 你啊

594
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,700
*我已与爱绝缘*

595
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:28,000
*没有你 我算什么*

596
00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:29,950
她有些毛手毛脚呀