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同志们 葬礼三点开始

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之后在Shaw的酒吧有招待会

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我希望你们都能好好表现

4
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是的 所有目光都会集中在我们身上

5
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因为我们的阿呆和阿瓜弄死了Dozerman警监

6
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我们是不小心吓到了一个有

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先天性心脏病的人

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如果认真追究 是他爸妈杀了他

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好了 随便吧

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听着 迪拜在举行一场赛马

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我可是下了大赌注的

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解散

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是啊我们都该关注下那场赛马

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天呐

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他是带过我们的最烂的警监了

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他在我的防弹背心上画了咪咪

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他在吃桃子的时候盯了我九十秒

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他听说我会说西班牙语

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就逼我去开除他的管家

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她可是波兰人啊

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好歹他没有用你

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练习他的鹤踢

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我说了别动

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我没动

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听着 朋友们

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Jake和我昨晚聊过了

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枕边话时间 情景再现

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- 依偎着还是面对面  - Charles

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依偎着

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总而言之 我们想出了个计划

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Jake会去和秃鹰套近乎

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好让他对我们好一点

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是真的

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我要去和他称兄道弟

35
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如果计划进行顺利

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我们在这周末应该就会成为

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啤酒乒乓双打搭档了

38
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谁给我个贝壳项链

39
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我要走全套混蛋路线了

40
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神烦警探 第三季 第二集

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好了

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嘿 兄弟好啊

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好啊Jake

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给你汇报点那个

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Deberg伤人案的小进展

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原来受害者的老婆超性感的

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是啊我读过档案了 已经当妈了

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不感兴趣

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这倒是

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对了 我想过了

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我们一开始相处的不太顺利

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我相信只是因为我们

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太相似了

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- 是吗  - 真的

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我们都喜欢优质龙舌兰

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是啊

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- Robin Thicke  - 哦是啊

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- 贝壳是必须的  - 必须的

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还有最重要的 露点

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我来问你个问题 Jake

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你是不是也喜欢冲绳武术

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因为你把这个插在了我的背上

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嗯

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我想说的是 爱因斯坦

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你在背后中伤我了

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怎么会

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我们想出了个计划

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Jake回去和秃鹰套近乎

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好让他让我们好过些

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抓了个现行 我就知道你是装的

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我赌你根本不喜欢露点

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所以 是怎样 你窃听了简报室

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不 Scully的屁股昨天按到了我的电话

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而且到现在还没挂

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又一次 Scully的屁股拖了这个警局的后腿

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听着 Jake 我知道你和Santiago

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在试图击败我

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你们回家 一起躺在床上

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计划怎么对付我

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不会再这样了

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我要你甩了Santiago 这是命令

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什么 你不能这么做

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这完全违反了规则

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好吧 Sonia Sotomayor

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我绝不会违反规则的

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但是我可以以完全不相干的理由

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让你降级去做巡警

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不 别那么做 好吗

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我可以试着喜欢露点

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不 你要么就是爱 要么就是不爱

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太迟了

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甩了Santiago 不然就

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和你的警徽说再见吧

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滚吧

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第一次回到99区

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嗯

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我真的很想念这些人

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全部的人 Jake Terry 那谁

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其他名字我全忘了

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记住 我们是以公关部代表的身份来这儿的

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我不想打扰他们

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没办法

103
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我们就像这些人的偶像

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他们会疯了的 就像

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我不希望门开了之后

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大家都停下工作欢迎我们

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嗯 啥都没

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你肯定很开心

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是的

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什么

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他命令我们分手

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我们会有办法的

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我们只是需要一个新计划

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有了

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我们可以撒谎 告诉他我们分了

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然后偷偷在一起

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太好了 你对你的警监撒谎也没事吗

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- 好吧 新计划  - 嗯哼

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Holt警监今天会来

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对 聪明

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他爱我们

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而且他在部门里的影响力可大了

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他会让秃鹰收手的

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是啊 他会这样

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秃鹰 我强烈要求

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让你收手

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我真的觉得会有用的

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还有 如果你在家想

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模仿Holt

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我也不会反对

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噢 好吧

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知道了 非常奇怪

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但我还是一定会做的

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嘿 G点儿

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Rosa Charles 噢我太想念你们了

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真的吗 因为在你走的时候 你郑重其事地

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把我们的号码都删了

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妹子 那只是我擅长演技的一面

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公关部太无聊了

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我要听99区的故事 现在

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我不觉得我们那么有故事

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我才离开一周

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Jake和Amy在一起了 还杀了个人

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快点 Charles

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你肯定有什么奇怪又悲伤的故事

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没有

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除非你觉得在葬礼上勾搭了个女孩

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奇怪又悲伤

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十足啊

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她叫Singh中尉

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超级性感

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上上次葬礼的时候我们坐一起

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一整首的时间我们都有强烈的眼神交流

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上次葬礼 我们在停车场搞起来了

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这一次

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将会有些淘气的事儿发生

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恶 你了解她什么

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我们不需要了解对方任何事

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她说她喜欢这样

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只是纯粹的动物原始欲望

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这很诡异而且不像你

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你连她叫什么都不知道吧

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哦 野外的动物们

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知道彼此的名字吗

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听着 我只知道 Charles Boyle会去那个葬礼

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而且他会把"小鸡"

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放进"鸡窝"里

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站在办公桌的这边还真不习惯

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为什么

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哦对了 你以前在这儿工作

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你知道我在你走后做了很多改进吗

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我有一个放蛋白质奶昔的冰箱

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有个放壶铃的架子

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还有我在犹他州杀的一匹狼

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我很确定那是一只狗

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啊 当时天黑嘛

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长官 抱歉打扰了 但是我需要您签一下这些

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Holt警监 我都不知道你来了

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Jeffords警长 你好

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欢迎回来

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嘿 我必须制止你了

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拥抱是一种不适宜工作场所的接触行为

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相信我 我很了解

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性骚扰准则

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你可以出去了

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我不会耽误你太多的时间

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因为99分区是Dozerman警监的

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最后一个辖区 你会被安排

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坐到葬礼的前排

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我想提醒你那里会有媒体

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相机

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等等等等 相机

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靠 没人说过会有相机

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我得健下身

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就是这样

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我在休息室里注意到你改变了

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案件编号系统

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我发现 在我还是指挥官的时候

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别再说下去了

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你已经不是指挥官了

201
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我只是在提建议

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是啊 听着 你在位的时候为这个地方

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做了很多贡献 这对我来说是好事

204
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因为我可以拿来邀功

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但是你已经不是个真正的警察了

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你是个坐办公室的

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这里现在是我的警区

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你越早接受这个事实 越好

209
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是的 我知道怎么出去

210
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,200
因为你在这儿工作过

211
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我老是忘记

212
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每个人都会忘记的

213
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哎呀呀 这不是Raymond Jacob Holt警监吗

214
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很高兴在99区见到您 长官

215
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是啊

216
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啊 又是经典的Jake和Holt嘴战

217
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妙语连珠啊

218
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:52,990
就好像你从未离开过

219
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不 我的确离开了

220
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好吧

221
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,860
我知道你有多喜欢热辣的八卦

222
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所以你大概听说了Amy和我最近在约会

223
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得到您的批准我们会很高兴

224
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才没有

225
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但那不是重点

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当然不是

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长官 那个秃鹰已经疯了

228
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他告诉我如果我不甩了Amy

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他就要给我降级

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你得帮帮我们

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别说了 Peralta

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我不是探长

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更不是秃鹰的上司

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我只是一个公关人员

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- 但是我们以为  - 我不能救你们的小命

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我已经不在这儿工作了

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你们越早接受这个现实

238
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越好

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看起来某人有很严重的

240
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葬礼躁郁症嘛

241
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好了 伙计们

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我知道Dozerman警监是个噩梦

243
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:37,040
我们没人喜欢他

244
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,540
但是我需要你们所有人装作自己很伤心

245
00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:41,440
大家来做个哭脸

246
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,380
Scully 你做的太棒了

247
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,440
我老婆刚给我发短信 她要离开我

248
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:46,710
很好 即时利用

249
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:48,010
有人看到Holt警监了吗

250
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,720
他进来的时候好像有点低落

251
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,150
是啊 在过来的路上

252
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:53,050
他让我选音乐 这让我相信

253
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:54,290
他已经放弃生命了

254
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,520
我得去找他

255
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,390
赶紧尊重死者 给我用力地哀悼

256
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,060
我不知道为什么会发生这种事

257
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:01,090
Scully 太赞了

258
00:08:01,090 --> 00:08:02,330
大家向他学习

259
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:06,600
所以我们要怎么对付那个秃鹰

260
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,530
我有个新计划 装作我们在谈话

261
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:09,740
- 我们是在谈话啊  - 很好

262
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:10,740
计划已经奏效了

263
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,870
现在我要酷酷地

264
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,470
用手梳梳头

265
00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:14,770
看我的手肘在指哪里

266
00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,040
Davis Garmin

267
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,380
他是探长

268
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:18,980
Holt说他能否决秃鹰

269
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,010
没错

270
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:21,770
唯一的问题是 他会相信我们吗

271
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:23,550
会的 因为我们要从秃鹰的书里

272
00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:24,820
撕下一页(效仿秃鹰的手段)

273
00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:26,450
- "大书小屁股"  - 什么

274
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:27,820
那是我唯一见到他读的书

275
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,860
不 我们要秘密地录下秃鹰

276
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,260
命令你甩了我

277
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:32,760
然后我们把它放给Garmin探长听

278
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:33,760
再然后

279
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:34,760
我们就会

280
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,490
在彼此身上做爱

281
00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:37,900
你就能保住你的工作

282
00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:39,100
是啊 那件事

283
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:43,770
噢 Charles 你的炮友来了

284
00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:44,900
你好 警探

285
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,200
你好 中尉

286
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,870
警监的事情真是个悲剧啊

287
00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:49,570
是啊 很悲剧

288
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,180
我喜欢你屁股今天的样子

289
00:08:51,210 --> 00:08:52,740
我有在洗澡的时候跨步下蹲

290
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:54,450
这转折来得也太突然了

291
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,220
我想永远活在这个时刻里

292
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:59,250
我在街对面订了个房间

293
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:02,390
15分钟后在那儿见我

294
00:09:02,390 --> 00:09:03,990
好的 到时候见

295
00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,820
骚浪贱的"贱"

296
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,860
还觉得这很诡异吗

297
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:12,230
是的

298
00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:14,170
Charles 你不像是那种

299
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:15,470
会和陌生人上床的人

300
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:17,170
是吗 再过一个小时等我们

301
00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:20,140
大战二十三回合之后再告诉我吧

302
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,420
关闭

303
00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:24,540
你在这儿啊

304
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:25,540
你还好吗 长官

305
00:09:25,550 --> 00:09:27,010
不好

306
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:29,610
直到今天上午 我还有一点点相信

307
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,580
我还会成为99区的警监

308
00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:33,250
我真是个傻瓜

309
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,650
我就不该回来

310
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:36,560
这就好像回到你儿时的家

311
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:40,090
结果发现那儿已经变成了一家牛仔裤店

312
00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:45,830
喔喔喔

313
00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:47,900
慢点喝 长官

314
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:50,140
你都没有停下来闻一闻酒香

315
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:51,800
你一直都会闻酒香的

316
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:52,970
也许以前的Holt会

317
00:09:52,970 --> 00:09:54,570
但是现在的Holt能毫不在意地

318
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:57,840
把勃艮第的杯子里的博若莱葡萄酒干掉

319
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,010
哦 是索甸酒的杯子

320
00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:03,780
你看 酒精已经把我变成一个笨蛋了

321
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,850
也许你该回去了

322
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:07,290
我不能

323
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:10,020
我被邀请在葬礼之后说一篇祝酒词

324
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:13,090
传达希望

325
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,690
这是我目前写好的

326
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,330
痛苦

327
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,340
就这样

328
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:27,740
稍微改动一下吧

329
00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:30,010
别用痛苦这个词

330
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:31,880
然后打辆车回家

331
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,510
也许我会的

332
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:37,320
但首先你得和我喝一杯 警长

333
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,650
看在过去的情份上 好吗

334
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:40,550
- 就一杯 然后我们就走  - 就一杯

335
00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:40,580
- Eurythmics

336
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,750
一杯之后
- Eurythmics

337
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:45,820
- Eurythmics

338
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:49,060
自从有了孩子后 我的酒量都变了

339
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,260
嘿 警监

340
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:01,410
我刚在里面找你呢

341
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,580
我不能在教堂里放屁

342
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,240
这是上帝的房子

343
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,080
哦

344
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,680
敬佩

345
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,280
你还记得你跟我讲过

346
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,590
叫我甩了Santiago

347
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,850
不然你就让我降级做巡警吗

348
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:17,290
我记得的版本是 Jake你假装是我的兄弟

349
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,330
而我的反应是 我可盯上你了 蠢货

350
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,900
呃抱歉 你能再讲一遍吗

351
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,430
风笛太响了我听不见你说了什么

352
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:31,140
呃等等

353
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,570
抱歉 你能别吹了吗

354
00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:33,940
我们这儿在谈事情

355
00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:35,740
我在热身呢 兄弟 抱歉

356
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:36,940
我知道 我们只要两分钟就行

357
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:38,310
做不到啊

358
00:11:38,310 --> 00:11:40,110
葬礼就要开始了

359
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,710
大家都想听我吹 所以

360
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,150
但是你真的需要热身吗

361
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:45,120
反正你吹出来都会很糟糕的

362
00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:47,120
首先 我作为苏格兰混血 我觉得这很冒犯我

363
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:51,020
其次 你觉得你能吹得比我好吗

364
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,290
吹吹看我的风笛

365
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:53,930
听着 我们只是需要几分钟聊聊天

366
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:54,700
就这样

367
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,290
你不吹一下我是不会停的

368
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:57,290
好吧 给我就是了

369
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:59,400
好了吧

370
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,070
准备好听我完美的演奏吧

371
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,600
好啊

372
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:05,810
我的天

373
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:07,070
很好听吧

374
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:08,180
我觉得我听够了

375
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:08,730
你们俩吵架

376
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:09,780
我走了

377
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,810
等等 警监

378
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:16,410
你男朋友 对不起 是你的前男友真可悲

379
00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:19,320
你应该庆幸我叫他甩了你

380
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,290
空心入网 科比附体

381
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,830
录下来了

382
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:28,530
太好了 你真棒

383
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:34,660
我刚刚吹的是

384
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,490
呃 这么多人在这哀悼

385
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:40,630
根本找不到Garmin

386
00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:42,860
就好像他们一点都不尊重我们的卑鄙计划一样

387
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:44,060
就是啊

388
00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:45,760
看 他在那儿

389
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,870
太好了

390
00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:48,070
你好啊

391
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:49,530
对不起 这片区域是为

392
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:51,270
死者的至亲朋友保留的

393
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,800
我们就是

394
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:54,610
Dozerman和我几乎是最好的朋友

395
00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:56,240
我们一起去过年度钓鱼之旅

396
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,500
在卡尤加湖钓了许多银鲑鱼

397
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,060
我们对他的去世表示很难过

398
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:02,280
超级难过

399
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,480
好吧 进来吧

400
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,520
谢谢

401
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:07,450
祝福你啊

402
00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:08,550
- 你说的什么  - 我不知道

403
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:09,920
我第一次来教堂

404
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:10,960
说吧 你怎么做到的

405
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,390
简单的侦查工作

406
00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:14,190
前面的花圈里有张照片

407
00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:16,390
照片里Dozerman和30个他的朋友举着一条大鱼

408
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,070
卡尤加湖是我从来宾签到本里看到的

409
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:18,430
我们会永远记得卡尤加湖
卡尤加湖是我从来宾签到本里看到的

410
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:18,460
我们会永远记得卡尤加湖

411
00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:18,490
那银鲑鱼呢
我们会永远记得卡尤加湖

412
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:19,760
那银鲑鱼呢

413
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,930
那是我作为一个正常人

414
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,100
本来就知道的

415
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,070
我们今天的特色菜是银鲑鱼和

416
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,070
听起来真恶心

417
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:26,680
你们有鸡爪吗

418
00:13:26,710 --> 00:13:28,070
- 佩服我吧  - 嗯哼

419
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:29,710
也被你的饮食习惯吓到了

420
00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:30,810
如果我这么不健康的话

421
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,110
我怎么从来不上厕所呢

422
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:36,410
- 好了 我们去找Garmin  - 好

423
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,580
你们好 我是Margaret Dozerman

424
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,150
你们和我丈夫是怎么认识的

425
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,990
Dozerman夫人 你的丈夫是个很了不起的人

426
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,920
我关于他一些最美好的回忆

427
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,290
就是在我们的钓鱼之旅时

428
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:47,390
你参加那些旅行吗

429
00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,390
我参加 真的

430
00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:50,930
他们都叫我"银鲑鱼之王"

431
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:53,060
这些事情基本上都是我一手操办的

432
00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:56,700
就是你带去那些妓女的吗

433
00:13:57,290 --> 00:13:59,600
呃

434
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,080
哇哦 我们能慢慢来吗

435
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,170
为什么 你不喜欢这样吗

436
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:04,440
不不不

437
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,640
我想到了我的朋友们

438
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,910
他们觉得我们对彼此一无所知

439
00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:09,780
就这么做有点诡异

440
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:11,350
我觉得这很让人兴奋

441
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,620
那是 我们作为人类对彼此完全不感兴趣

442
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,320
这让我很高兴

443
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,720
你告诉我关于你的事情

444
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:22,320
然后我告诉你我多不在乎怎么样

445
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,100
好啊

446
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,330
开始了

447
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:26,900
我是个独生女

448
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,840
- 不感兴趣  - 我出生在特拉华州

449
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:29,900
谁问你了

450
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:31,410
我喜欢这样

451
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,310
我不在乎你喜欢什么

452
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,110
但是也许你能再告诉我一件事

453
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:39,950
她是个素食主义者

454
00:14:39,950 --> 00:14:41,520
发生什么了

455
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,350
你们说得对 我还是没忍住

456
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,520
我想了解她

457
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,120
我得到了我该得的

458
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,560
一个素食主义者 一个无谷蛋白素食主义者

459
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,690
Charles 你要冷静

460
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,330
不 你说对了 Rosa

461
00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:55,160
你继续吧 嘲笑我

462
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,200
笑啊

463
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,270
笑起来

464
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,200
我能等葬礼结束再笑吗

465
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,270
嘘

466
00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:03,300
当然可以

467
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,140
警监 我的生活糟透了

468
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,080
Sharon卧床休息

469
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,410
我最喜欢的芒果酸奶停止生产了

470
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:15,280
我的孩子们觉得她们的幼儿教师

471
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,320
是个蠢货

472
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,220
我的同事都是蠢货

473
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,820
特别是Bryce

474
00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:25,190
- 警监  - 嗯

475
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,330
- 警监  - 嗯

476
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,200
我能讲实话吗

477
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,030
你走之后 我们的片区就变了样

478
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,070
秃鹰是最坏的

479
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:33,740
我的芒果酸奶

480
00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,000
你已经讲过你的酸奶了

481
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,570
因为它很重要

482
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:39,940
当我今早在办公室看见你的时候

483
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,280
我想给你一个最大的拥抱

484
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,050
但是秃鹰告诉你不行

485
00:15:44,050 --> 00:15:45,150
你不得不听命

486
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,580
现在他是你的警监了 Terry

487
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:49,650
我讨厌去上班而你不在的感觉

488
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:52,020
一切都是垃圾

489
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:55,420
嗯 "一切都是垃圾"

490
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:58,090
我应该把这句话写进我的希望致辞里

491
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,190
这真是个好主意

492
00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:03,030
为了克服你们那些密林狂欢

493
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,180
我和我丈夫进行了多年的婚姻咨询

494
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,200
他一个周末和五个妓女发生关系

495
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,020
- 呃  - 那真是疯狂

496
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:09,910
我毫不知情啊

497
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,070
我可能在忙于参加礼拜吧

498
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,570
你说是你策划了那些旅行

499
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:14,700
- 我是这么说了  - 还自称银鲑鱼之王

500
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:16,780
好吧 听着

501
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:18,450
我不是什么银鲑鱼之王

502
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,550
我叫Jake

503
00:16:19,550 --> 00:16:20,700
而你的丈夫只当了我

504
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,420
差不多一天的上司

505
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,380
等一下

506
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:25,920
你就是那个害死他的Jake吗

507
00:16:27,090 --> 00:16:28,960
不是 我是那个堕落的Jake

508
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,120
我爱死妓女们了

509
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,160
你该走了

510
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,290
你现在就该离开

511
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:33,360
你现在必须给我离开

512
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,800
没事的 Margaret 来吧

513
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,830
哦 Garmin局长 请稍等 我只是

514
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,070
想给你放放我上司的一段小录音

515
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,240
你录下了我的话

516
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,540
这可不酷啊 Jake

517
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,470
我们只是以其人之道 还治其人之身

518
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,910
是吗 那你接下来要做什么呢

519
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:48,580
接着你就要戴上皮手链了吗

520
00:16:48,610 --> 00:16:50,210
祝你能顺利地用那细瘦的

521
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:51,980
娘们手腕来撕下你的警徽

522
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:52,980
恭喜你

523
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:54,680
你已经不再是警探了

524
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,490
你现在又是一名巡警了

525
00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:58,920
我刚刚撕碎了你的梦想

526
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,160
好吧 我知道事情看上去很糟糕

527
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,690
但我们只需要一点时间来考虑

528
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,600
拜托 老兄

529
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:16,600
那么 秃鹰拿走了你的手机

530
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:18,620
但新计划是

531
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,220
Jake 我们已经做了不少计划了

532
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:21,020
但没有一个奏效的

533
00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:22,620
的确 但这个是个好主意

534
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,340
新计划就是 没有计划

535
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:25,570
我们自由发挥

536
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:27,020
也许没用 但我说起来

537
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:27,740
感觉很有信心啊

538
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:29,040
Jake 你被降职了

539
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:30,940
我们说过这段关系不能

540
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,550
妨碍你我前途的  但它碍事了

541
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,620
那又怎样 我们会想出办法的

542
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,220
我会重新回到警探的位置

543
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:37,480
也许你做不到

544
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,550
我不能让你丢掉你理想的工作

545
00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,740
Amy  我们相处得很好啊

546
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:43,290
这只是段六日情而已

547
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:45,390
我们还不知道会怎样

548
00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:47,290
现在 给大家献上我的希望致辞

549
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:49,330
啊 希望致辞 来得正是时候

550
00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,540
一切都是垃圾

551
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:52,300
完了

552
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,730
你找到你所珍爱的东西

553
00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:55,340
接着它们就被人夺走

554
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,800
你的同事

555
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,440
你理想的工作

556
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:00,440
你的芒果酸奶

557
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,510
喔

558
00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:06,330
永远别爱上任何东西

559
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,420
这就是教训

560
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:13,190
敬Dozerman警监

561
00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:14,060
谢谢你

562
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,530
太有诗意了 接下来交给我吧

563
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,600
请允许我说一段完全相反的致辞

564
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,670
我想说 Dozerman警监和我

565
00:18:21,670 --> 00:18:23,800
我们并未共事太长时间

566
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,400
实际上  作为同事

567
00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:28,610
我们的关系仅仅持续了六天

568
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:30,040
但那并非毫无意义

569
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,480
这时间长到足够我去发现

570
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,050
我们之间有特别的联系

571
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:35,250
当然了 这其中有些障碍

572
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:38,650
比如说 他去世了

573
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:40,590
但我并不会放弃我们的关系

574
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:42,650
我不在乎是不是被降职

575
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:47,460
我在乎的只是和你在一起

576
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,360
Dozerman警监

577
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,060
一个成年男人

578
00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:53,630
他已经去了阴间

579
00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:55,370
让开点 Peralta

580
00:18:55,370 --> 00:18:57,100
让开

581
00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:01,240
请允许我献上第三段致辞

582
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:05,140
这段致辞的主要内容是芒果酸奶

583
00:19:06,450 --> 00:19:07,680
别嘘我

584
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,880
我也失去了重要的东西好吗

585
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,620
就知道会在这里找到你

586
00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:17,820
不喜欢我的致辞吗

587
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,490
不 我很喜欢

588
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:21,890
我是说 如果不是在守丧时

589
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,200
如果不把我比作你去世的上司

590
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,240
就更好了

591
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,900
那确实很扫兴

592
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,070
但不论如何那都是三段致辞里最棒的

593
00:19:28,070 --> 00:19:28,780
嗯

594
00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:30,140
听着 我不想分手

595
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,840
但我也不想被降职

596
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:33,770
我只是不知道该怎么办

597
00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:35,110
我所有计划都用光了

598
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,140
我倒是有一个

599
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:38,910
让Holt来拯救你

600
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:39,420
警监

601
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:40,860
我为你的致辞而动容  Peralta

602
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,810
谢谢你警监  听到你这么说真好

603
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,680
- 就是语法有点问题  - 没那么好了

604
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,350
而你的词汇使用简直是对于

605
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:47,520
公立学校教育系统的侮辱

606
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,850
现在听起来你只是在打我的脸

607
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:50,860
但你不愿屈服于困境的事实

608
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,160
非常振奋人心

609
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,140
我爱99区

610
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:56,380
我是不会背弃我的警队的

611
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,330
所以我搞定了你和秃鹰的矛盾

612
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,800
- 真的吗  - 我也许只是个搞公关的

613
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,600
但秃鹰最爱的是什么呢

614
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,640
一款效仿椰菜娃娃的交换卡片

615
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,670
不 是公众形象

616
00:20:06,670 --> 00:20:07,840
Pembroke警监 你想让你的脸

617
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,610
出现在纽约警察局官网上吗

618
00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:10,980
真的吗

619
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:12,680
当然 当然

620
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,050
作为对媒体关注度的交换

621
00:20:14,050 --> 00:20:15,280
秃鹰既不会降你的职

622
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,980
也不会阻碍你们俩约会了

623
00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:18,720
警监 我真不知道怎么感谢你

624
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,190
为了99区 在所不辞

625
00:20:21,190 --> 00:20:22,920
谢谢你 警监

626
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,120
他完全支持我们在一起

627
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,180
你在这干嘛呢 Boyle

628
00:20:27,590 --> 00:20:29,860
试着喝得烂醉 好去和一个

629
00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:30,460
素食者滚床单

630
00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,600
我怎么就不能跟个现代男人一样

631
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,670
只用下半身思考呢

632
00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:34,670
为什么你要这么做呢

633
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,670
我离过婚 生活支离破碎

634
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,910
我的未婚妻逃婚 我哭了好几周

635
00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:41,340
我唯一一段在终结时

636
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,910
没完全毁灭的恋爱关系就是

637
00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:44,880
和Gina一起时的性爱狂欢

638
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:45,940
好吧

639
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,310
但哪段关系

640
00:20:47,310 --> 00:20:49,380
在其结束前让你觉得最快乐

641
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,900
我的婚姻 以及Vivian

642
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:54,150
是的 因为你和她们有情感上的联系

643
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:55,920
那是我们之间所没有的

644
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,760
因为我是个更高级的生物

645
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,390
就像是电影里的人工智能女主

646
00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:01,890
老兄 你不可能活一辈子却不受伤

647
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:03,300
你应该试着开心点

648
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,260
所以你觉得我应该去找个

649
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:06,900
能够和我情感上交媾的人

650
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,900
我真希望你没那么说 但的确如此

651
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,600
我应该从这场丧礼开始

652
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,600
换我就会再等等

653
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,140
不 没时间可浪费了

654
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,410
戴上你的太阳镜

655
00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:15,870
我得看看我牙缝间有没有东西

656
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,210
呃

657
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:20,540
很好

658
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,980
Charles Boyle准备好去谈恋爱了

659
00:21:26,790 --> 00:21:28,960
我再也不要戴这玩意儿了