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女士们先生们 准备好鼓掌吧

2
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因为我刚拿下了一个重大涉毒案

3
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涉及到四公斤可卡因

4
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:12,170
二十万现金

5
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还有一个新搭档 一只狼蛛

6
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我管他叫Jake二世 或者蜘蛛侠Klum

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或者窈窕蛛爸 或者拜登蛛

8
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或者巴吉度猎犬蛛 或者Mulrooney蛛

9
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- 又或者安吉丽娜蛛莉  - 啥

10
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什么啊 Charles 你好好看看这蜘蛛

11
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- 是该起这名字吗  - 对不起

12
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为什么你要把它留下来

13
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,320
因为他们打算把它扔掉的

14
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但我做不到把这毛茸茸的 啊

15
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近看还真的有点可怕

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从哪看都可怕

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Terry讨厌吓人的爬行动物

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讲真 如果你把它留在家里

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我就不去你家了

20
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好吧 那他就住这里好了

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还可以帮我办案

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习惯他的存在吧 各位

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因为我们就是一辈子的好搭档了

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他不见了

25
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我没关上笼子 他就不见了

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快找啊

27
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别站在地上了

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我没事

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我得离开这里

30
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他不会走得很远的

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除非他会飞

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狼蛛会飞吗

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Jake 你最好赶快找到那蜘蛛

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你找到之前我都不回来了

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呃 警长 我觉得我找到了

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为什么你们都这样看着我

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- 哦不  - 天啊

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它在我头上

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神烦警探 第三季 第三集

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离我们上场作证还有整整一个小时

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甜甜球耶

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我拿个吃哦

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啊

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这是鱼

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鱼做的甜甜球吗 Boyle

46
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你什么问题啊

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这是章鱼小丸子

48
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我在把我的忧伤浸入章鱼做的球球里

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我最近在网上相亲 简直太惨了

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我只有一个匹配对象

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而且很明显是个网骗

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我叫Yennifer

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你能给我社保吗

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这个嘛 Yennifer

55
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我倒觉得这故事有积极的一面

56
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有那么多人的身份可以盗取

57
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但他却选了你 你知道为什么吗

58
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因为我在资料上填了年收入吗

59
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因为你在资料上填了年收入 你个白痴

60
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不好意思 那是章鱼小丸子吗

61
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对啊 就在这条街尽头的店买的

62
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哦 我好喜欢那个地方

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那里的厨师让我把章鱼的心脏带回家喂我的狗

64
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哦 真幸运

65
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你养了多少只狗

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太多了

67
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- 三只  - 我也是

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真的吗

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问你一个问题

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你怎么才能让它们不上床

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我没办法

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- 我只能睡在地下  - 我也是

73
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对你的背有好处

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天哪

75
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很高兴认识你

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你怎么了

77
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她就这么走了吗

78
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我紧张了

79
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她也吃章鱼小丸子

80
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也睡在地上

81
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她就是我的真爱啊

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真是的

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不好意思 打错人了

84
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但趁我吸引了你的注意力 Charles 上

85
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如果他想打的是个可恶的嘴 罪犯

86
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他可能就拯救了世界

87
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你想坐在那边的长凳上

88
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吃章 章鱼小丸子吗

89
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好啊 我就盼着你问呢

90
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我只能帮你到这了

91
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恶 还是鱼

92
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天哪

93
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Santiago 感谢你能过来

94
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NYPD有形象问题已经不是个秘密了

95
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是啊 我告诉我们小区收垃圾的大叔我是个警察的时候

96
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他说 好恶心

97
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他身上还粘着别人用过的创可贴呢

98
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警察支持率现在是 原谅我的措辞

99
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冲进马桶一去不复返了

100
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现在的新闻都是关于那些不好的警察的

101
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但我们也有好警察啊

102
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我想贴一些海报来展示一些优秀的警察

103
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我希望你能成为第一个

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别逗我了 Ray

105
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我意思是 很有意思 警监

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我会考虑考虑的

107
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这主意真不怎么样

108
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第一 Amy一点儿都不潮

109
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呃 才不是呢

110
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我浑身都散发着潮气

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是啊是啊

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更重要的是

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贴一些警察微笑的照片

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是不会改变人们的看法的

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我觉得这个办法会挺有用的

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Santiago 你觉得呢

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是啊 咱们来听听你的头号粉丝的

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没有偏见的意见

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切

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我觉得这个主意太棒了

121
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反正别算上我

122
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我不会上你那些海报的

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我也没叫你啊 再说你又不是个警察

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对 我走了

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警长 请允许我逮捕Hitchcock和Scully

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我跟你说过了 放屁不算骚扰

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除非你能证明他们故意放的
我跟你说过了 放屁不算骚扰

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除非你能证明他们故意放的

129
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不是这个

130
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他们抢劫了我

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他们吃了我的冰淇淋

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真有意思

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我都不知道你喜欢这个牌子

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我男朋友Marcus给我推荐的

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怎么了

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这种冰淇淋适合所有年龄好吗

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我去 Rosa 好的

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你看 我觉得他们偷别人的甜点已经

139
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已经有好几周了 但我没找到证据

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你看到他们拿你的冰淇淋了吗

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没有 但Hitchcock胸前有一大块糖渍

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他胸前一直有糖渍

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- 好恶心  - 他们会否认的

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我们必须有铁证

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那我们就去取

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第一步 在冰箱里放一块好吃的派

147
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然后在上面撒上毒药

148
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这是第一步吗

149
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第二步能是什么

150
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跟他们的遗妻说他们是贼

151
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嘿 她去哪了

152
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你们聊得挺投入啊

153
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我预计她这会该坐在你的腿上了啊

154
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她太棒了

155
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- 她的上颚既宽又深  - 恶心

156
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我趁她没注意的时候

157
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闻了一下她的头发

158
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当然

159
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她用的是我最喜欢的三种洗发水之一

160
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塔希提椰子味 泡沫丰富型

161
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听起来不错啊 Boyle

162
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你拿到她的号码了吗

163
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哦 我们聊到忘了时间

164
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她要回去法庭了

165
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她完事之后 我会约她出去的

166
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好的 好的

167
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有什么计划吗

168
00:05:27,850 --> 00:05:29,050
直接去做水疗

169
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情侣按摩

170
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好 听起来浓情蜜意的

171
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但从你们其他怪癖都那么相似来看

172
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就这么定了

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- 她来了  - 好

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- 我看起来怎么样  - 很棒

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我有很好的预感

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Genevieve 我知道我们才刚刚见面

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我不想看起来太着急

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Charles

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但有时候

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你就是对一个人很来电

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Charles

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我对你的感觉就是这样的

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- 我很喜欢你  - Charles 往下看

184
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我想今晚

185
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喔 天啊

186
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,490
他们刚判了我10年

187
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她至少没有拒绝你啊

188
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,500
嘿 老兄

189
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给你买了点你最爱吃的章鱼小丸子

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让你振作起来

191
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虽然说实话
让你振作起来

192
00:06:09,890 --> 00:06:11,340
虽然说实话

193
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,420
我找不到卖小丸子的店

194
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这就是一块巧克力手指饼

195
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:14,670
上面放了片熏鲑鱼

196
00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:16,340
Jake 谢谢 但是我不需要振作

197
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,340
你自己吃吧

198
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:17,800
不了

199
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,890
你深深地爱上了一个马上要进监狱的女人

200
00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:21,350
你不难过吗

201
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,370
不难过 因为她不是真的有罪

202
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,900
他们说她为了骗保险钱

203
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:27,290
抢了自己的画廊 但这讲不通

204
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,190
如果卖掉这些艺术品 她可以赚更多钱

205
00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:31,040
这件作品 "哺乳骑士"

206
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,330
价值是她从保险公司得到赔偿的两倍

207
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,360
哇哦 瞧这个

208
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:35,750
我不是故意想让自己听起来太有才

209
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,630
但是这个骑士的咪咪太牛了

210
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:40,030
我懂艺术

211
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:42,250
还有 我和Genevieve的律师谈过了

212
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,040
他完全是个祸害

213
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:46,220
关于你的一位美丽的客户 Genevieve Mirren-Carter

214
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,470
我有几个问题想问

215
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:49,590
她是被一辆拖车撞了然后告司机的那个吗

216
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,040
不是 她是被控诈欺保险的那个

217
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:54,230
那就好 因为我把拖车那件案子办砸了

218
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,850
直接忘了去法院

219
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,240
他们在她家找到被偷画作中的一幅

220
00:06:58,270 --> 00:06:59,900
但是她说她不知道这幅画怎么会在她家

221
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,410
- 她是被陷害的  - 被设计的

222
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,430
开个艺术玩笑 你继续

223
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,360
我的直觉告诉我 这是爱嫉妒的前任干的

224
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,560
像她这样养了三条狗还准备自己的火鸡的女孩

225
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:10,080
是很难忘的

226
00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,120
听着 我知道你觉得我的判断受到了蒙蔽

227
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,250
因为我有一点喜欢她

228
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,840
你连婚礼邀请函都画好了

229
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,500
不 我画的是我们的联合墓碑

230
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:17,500
我的错

231
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:18,870
但是作为一个警察 我真的觉得

232
00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:20,620
不是她干的

233
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:23,080
这案子有蹊跷

234
00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:24,540
好吧 Boyle

235
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:27,050
我相信你的直觉

236
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,410
我们去放了这个无罪的女人

237
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:29,420
太棒了

238
00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:31,080
我的梦想要实现了

239
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,250
你和我一起救下我的女人

240
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:36,940
你知道这话是什么意思 对吧

241
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,730
看起来要坚强 但是公正

242
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,730
但是平易近人

243
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,730
但是专业

244
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:43,930
还要有趣

245
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:44,980
但也不要太有趣

246
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:45,980
这是你的工作

247
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,280
你能做到这些吗

248
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,270
长官 “有趣但不会太有趣”是我在竞选舞会皇后时的

249
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:51,960
竞选口号

250
00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:53,440
你赢了吗

251
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,490
没有

252
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,490
Ames

253
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:56,790
我想说你看起来太美了

254
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:57,790
谢谢你

255
00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:58,800
我还没说完

256
00:07:58,830 --> 00:07:59,800
句号 句号 句号

257
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:00,910
给你的

258
00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:02,420
好消息是 这没关系

259
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:03,800
因为这次活动

260
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,890
就好像后街男孩那五个里面的三个人

261
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,300
根本不重要的

262
00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:08,390
够了 Gina

263
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:11,370
我就是想说 作为一个群众的意见

264
00:08:11,370 --> 00:08:13,130
这不会成功的

265
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:16,090
我想说的是 作为一个这里的上司

266
00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:17,250
如果你不支持我的话

267
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:17,960
你可以走了

268
00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:18,970
好

269
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,020
我会走的

270
00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:21,940
我会去修指甲和修脚

271
00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:24,740
然后发一些严肃隐晦的批评推文

272
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,070
所以你最好

273
00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:27,660
不要上网

274
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,440
Diaz

275
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,580
看我在Hitchcock和Scully的垃圾桶里

276
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:33,750
找到了什么

277
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:34,810
挖冰淇淋的勺子

278
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,830
婊子养的

279
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:42,120
你们这两只饿河马吃了我的冰淇淋

280
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,170
这怎么会在你们的垃圾里

281
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:45,840
还有 谁会扔掉一把勺子啊

282
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,790
这是最容易洗的厨房用具了

283
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:49,630
我觉得这都不是用来吃冰淇淋的

284
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,010
可能是用来吃药的

285
00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:53,370
我需要吃很多药 Rosa

286
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:55,290
我全身都有病

287
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:58,810
这是冰淇淋 我证明给你看

288
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,110
警长 别

289
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,110
这勺子进过他们的嘴

290
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,190
我干嘛呢

291
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:03,690
我觉得你们的小调查好像

292
00:09:03,730 --> 00:09:04,980
走入死胡同了

293
00:09:05,010 --> 00:09:06,140
我会回来的

294
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,320
你待着别动

295
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,040
行啊

296
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:13,520
我讨厌动

297
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,290
随他去

298
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:17,710
随他去

299
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,030
有趣

300
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,380
对 有些事肯定不对劲

301
00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:25,220
你知道吗 有一种香肠可以喝

302
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,220
什么

303
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,720
你们是在聊案情吗

304
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,000
我们分心了

305
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,050
她有一条完美的舌头

306
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:32,540
有力 灵活 很好的芽密度

307
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,010
接下来还是我来问问题吧

308
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,210
好 我坐得太近了

309
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:36,310
恶心的饮食习惯

310
00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:37,310
嗨Genevieve

311
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:38,080
现在 我就想问你

312
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,210
几个问题

313
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,900
Boyle警探会坐在这里

314
00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:43,380
一直向你招手 大概

315
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,520
现在 除了你自己

316
00:09:44,550 --> 00:09:45,720
你能不能想起任何能在画廊关门之后

317
00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:47,550
进去的人

318
00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:49,220
不 只有我能 而且保险库

319
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,390
只能通过指纹认证进入

320
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:53,060
Charles有女朋友吗

321
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,060
我看到她讲了我名字的口型

322
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,160
她说了什么

323
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,500
她是不是问我有没有割包皮

324
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:57,530
什么 不是

325
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,530
谁会问这种问题

326
00:09:58,570 --> 00:10:00,200
别打断我

327
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,200
对不起啊

328
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,200
下一个问题

329
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,190
你能不能想起任何

330
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,360
可能会陷害你的人

331
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,960
也许是个员工或者某种竞争对手

332
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:08,710
也许是我的前男友Nick

333
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,580
他是个艺术家 一个很烂的艺术家

334
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,600
他总是欠债然后问我要钱

335
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:13,800
所以我们才分手的

336
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:15,250
也许他怀恨在心

337
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:16,300
混蛋前任

338
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,770
这就是我的推断 你记得吗

339
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,770
告诉她这是我的推断

340
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:19,770
- 好吧  - 等等 给我几秒钟

341
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,020
你说这话的时候 我想让自己看起来很聪明

342
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:22,360
好吧

343
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:23,590
呃 嘿 Genevieve

344
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:24,980
Boyle警探想让我告诉你

345
00:10:25,030 --> 00:10:27,440
他是一个大学毕业生 之前有个相似的推断

346
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,950
觉得可能会是你的前男友干的

347
00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:29,980
哇

348
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,110
他太聪明了

349
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,850
哇 真的奏效了

350
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:33,640
还是你来吧 老兄

351
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,140
你给她下什么药她都吃啊

352
00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:35,680
好的

353
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:38,620
- 还有件事 - Boyle还有个问题

354
00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:39,940
告诉她这事结束后

355
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,240
我要把酱抹遍她的身体

356
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,740
再用一根酸黄瓜刮下来

357
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:43,790
我还是把电话还给你吧

358
00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:45,210
好啊

359
00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:46,250
嗨

360
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,990
警卫觉得恶心 我们只好挂电话了

361
00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:51,750
这真奇怪

362
00:10:51,790 --> 00:10:52,280
你觉得会是因为你们是

363
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,950
全宇宙最让人恶心的二人组吗

364
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,670
- 可能吧  - 你瞧这个

365
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,510
记得她提到的前男友Nick吗

366
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:58,930
叫他混蛋先生

367
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,480
好的 显然混蛋先生

368
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:03,310
刚在Dumbo买了个新画廊做展览

369
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:04,920
这很奇怪 因为Genevieve说

370
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,070
他总是欠债

371
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,440
看来某人刚大赚了一笔

372
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:10,770
你觉得现在他有钱了

373
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,610
她会想和他复合

374
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,110
- 该死  - 不 Boyle

375
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,410
他的钱很可能是卖赃物画得来的

376
00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:17,650
你的直觉是对的

377
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,950
没错 我猜对了

378
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:22,150
*我的直觉 直觉 我帅气的破案直觉*

379
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,270
来吧 Jake 和我一起唱

380
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:24,270
没门

381
00:11:24,290 --> 00:11:25,490
我永远都不会

382
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,070
*你要拿那些直觉怎么办*

383
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:28,910
*你大脑内的所有预感*

384
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,580
*我们这就破 破 破掉这个案*

385
00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:33,380
*当着你的面儿把案子结*

386
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:34,950
或许我们应该先离开监狱

387
00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:35,970
赞同

388
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,010
我的掩护身份是这样的

389
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,760
我叫Sherwin LeMonde

390
00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:44,070
雕塑家 画家 全职咖啡师

391
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:47,240
只要我卖掉第一件作品 咖啡师就是我的兼职了

392
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:48,240
不错嘛

393
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:50,910
我叫Donald Hoberman-Seitz

394
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:52,530
我戴眼镜

395
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,580
这就是你的身份简介

396
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:56,080
抱歉 搭出租来的路上我一直都在幻想

397
00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:57,560
我和Gnevieve接吻的场面

398
00:11:57,580 --> 00:11:59,230
好吧 让我来说话就行

399
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,230
需要葡萄酒吗

400
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:01,920
当然 非常感谢

401
00:12:01,950 --> 00:12:03,450
哇塞 我喜欢你这身装扮

402
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,700
我是个艺术家 所以我明白这衣服的奥义

403
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,070
不仅仅是在于紧身

404
00:12:06,090 --> 00:12:07,960
Nick喜欢让女人们穿上橡胶

405
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:10,290
他痴迷于人类作为蝶蛹

406
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:11,740
在社会中蛹化的概念

407
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,750
嗯 听着很酷

408
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,130
人蛹 以及那些不可名状的事物

409
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:16,220
的确 不可名状

410
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,220
这就是不可名状

411
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,550
没错

412
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:21,420
我根本就不知道蝶蛹是个什么玩意

413
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:21,970
但容我认真问一句

414
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:23,290
如果她放屁了

415
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:24,190
那衣服会不会像气球一样吹起来

416
00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:25,460
没错 肯定会的

417
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:26,260
我就说嘛 是吧

418
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,820
- 是啊 - 艺术真是紧张激烈啊

419
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:28,860
的确如此

420
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:30,230
瞧 Nick在那

421
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:34,620
- 嗨 老兄 - 嗨

422
00:12:34,650 --> 00:12:35,700
- 这是你的作品吗 - 是的

423
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:36,720
蛮不错的

424
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,820
我来之后还没和人说上话 但看起来

425
00:12:38,870 --> 00:12:40,570
你是要走人蛹那一套啊

426
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:41,820
很高兴你能喜欢

427
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,580
我倒是想居功 但这是社会的功劳啊

428
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:45,910
我才刚把镜子立起来

429
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,110
社会

430
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:49,420
哇
社会

431
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:49,450
社会

432
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:49,940
还真是这个字面意思啊
社会

433
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:50,970
还真是这个字面意思啊

434
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,220
非常酷

435
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,720
总之 我是个艺术爱好者 名叫 Sherwin

436
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,310
吾名Donald Hoberman-Seitz

437
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,060
爷戴眼镜哦

438
00:12:58,090 --> 00:12:59,330
不管怎样 我在想的是

439
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:00,240
你是怎么给自己搞到一间画廊的

440
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,440
肯定很贵吧

441
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:02,810
艺术无关乎金钱 伙计

442
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:03,850
当然

443
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,600
它联系的是别的东西

444
00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:07,820
说得好

445
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:10,570
这幅画叫做"Genevieve416"

446
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,570
它要表达的是什么

447
00:13:11,610 --> 00:13:12,910
4月16号这一天

448
00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:15,410
我和我的前女友 Genevieve全身涂满油漆

449
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,740
在那张画布上啪啪了整24个小时

450
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,080
那挺可悲的啊 伙计

451
00:13:19,110 --> 00:13:21,150
你看起来对Genevieve挺着迷的 不是吗

452
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,580
- 什么意思 - Donald

453
00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,620
我打赌她甩你的时候你一定很受伤

454
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:26,120
- 什么 - Donald 你戴着眼镜呢

455
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:27,870
7月21号那天你在哪儿 混蛋先生

456
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:28,870
呃

457
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,540
呃 这个 那个

458
00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:32,590
你当时在洗劫Genevieve的画廊

459
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:33,630
你栽赃嫁祸她

460
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,040
而我应该马上逮捕你

461
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,160
- 你们是干嘛的 警察吗 - 什么

462
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,050
不 我们是艺术家

463
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,020
身为艺术家 我们质疑一切

464
00:13:40,050 --> 00:13:42,670
包括质疑某人某年某月时身在何处

465
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:43,670
滚出去

466
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,020
走就走 但我们要拿走这个

467
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:46,610
因为你不配拥有那段回忆

468
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,010
那幅画售价9万5美元

469
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:49,010
反正我也不想要

470
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:49,920
你的丁丁在上面滚过

471
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:52,180
很抱歉

472
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,850
Donald这个人吧

473
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:54,860
糟透了

474
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,520
你们两坨笨蛋

475
00:13:58,540 --> 00:13:59,740
这上面是冰淇淋

476
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:02,020
麋鹿踪迹的冰激凌

477
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,490
你怎么知道的

478
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,240
没错 这绝对是冰淇淋

479
00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:06,690
- 我就知道 - 他们要完蛋了

480
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:10,360
顺便说 不管用这勺子的是谁 他们的身体可不太好

481
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:11,960
好吧 就算那是冰激凌

482
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,080
但我没吃 也不能吃

483
00:14:14,130 --> 00:14:15,550
我有乳糖不耐症

484
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:16,670
我也是

485
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:18,670
我有超级乳糖不耐症

486
00:14:18,710 --> 00:14:19,670
你们撒谎

487
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:21,090
你有看到我们俩吃过乳制品吗

488
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:23,430
你知道没人受得了看你们的吃相

489
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,880
这不就结了

490
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,380
然后

491
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,880
就没有然后了

492
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,600
不 不不不不 不不不不

493
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:31,180
好了好了 没事的

494
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:32,900
我得说 Boyle

495
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,520
Nick的防御性很强啊

496
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,440
没错 而且他是个糟糕的艺术家

497
00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:38,570
他唯一做过的就是在画布上啪啪啪

498
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,230
连四年级小学生都会

499
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,280
但

500
00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:44,280
他们不该这么做

501
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:45,450
的确不该

502
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,730
嘿 Nick不喜欢警察

503
00:14:47,730 --> 00:14:48,700
但他没做错任何事

504
00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:49,900
你又怎么知道呢

505
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,740
我是他的助手 Dvora

506
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,040
他永远不会陷害Genevieve的

507
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,260
他还爱着她

508
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:56,410
还保留着一箱箱她的东西

509
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:58,740
哦 我们能不能瞅瞅 闻闻看 再把它们拿走呢

510
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,080
我是说 调查所需 你懂的

511
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,580
我们是警察嘛

512
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:02,800
请便 把盒子搬走吧

513
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:03,800
我不想看见它们了

514
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:05,130
哦 好吧 太棒了

515
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:07,600
你不会恰好知道 7月21号那天他人在哪儿吧

516
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,750
说实话 我知道

517
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:11,060
他那整个月都在做一项行为艺术

518
00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:13,590
他住在街上的笼子里 而且从未离开

519
00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:14,640
全过程都有影像记录

520
00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:15,930
很好

521
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:16,930
确实很棒

522
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,060
我们这就去后头

523
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,600
拿走那些箱子

524
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,270
哦 还有一件事

525
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,600
他在笼子里时去哪上厕所呢

526
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:24,650
- 用桶上 - 好吧 够恶心

527
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:25,700
祝你有个愉快的夜晚

528
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,990
长官 我今早在地铁里看到我的海报啦

529
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,610
你一定觉得自己像个名人吧

530
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,380
就像Ira Glass

531
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:34,400
纽约最蠢

532
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,720
他们给我画上了希特勒小胡子
纽约最蠢

533
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:36,730
纽约最蠢

534
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:40,050
好吧 这真是不幸

535
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:42,140
但别为一份涂鸦而反应过度

536
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:43,670
并不只是一个

537
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:46,770
他们在每一个海报上都画了

538
00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:50,390
他们在我脸上画了恶魔犄角 靶子

539
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:52,930
这个上面写了"去死吧蠢猪" 最可怕的是

540
00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,090
他们没有在"去死"和"蠢猪"之间加逗号

541
00:15:55,090 --> 00:15:56,420
解决这个问题很简单

542
00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:57,560
我只要出一份声明

543
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,210
我们将控告故意破坏公物者

544
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,800
不仅仅是破坏公物

545
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,250
人们真的有很大的怨气

546
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,880
"停止拦截搜身"

547
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,330
"停止种族形象定性"

548
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,460
"不合法逮捕是犯罪"

549
00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:09,530
我明白了

550
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:11,580
我觉得Gina对这次活动的看法是对的

551
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:12,310
嗯

552
00:16:12,790 --> 00:16:15,710
我都很惊讶她居然没有跑进来说 "早就告诉过你们了"

553
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:16,860
她不会那样的

554
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,450
你说对了 Amy

555
00:16:18,450 --> 00:16:21,430
你这辈子终于说了一次百分百正确的话

556
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:23,270
我是不会说出来的

557
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:25,280
Gina

558
00:16:28,330 --> 00:16:30,750
你们都读完了吗

559
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:31,780
读完了

560
00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:32,930
那就行

561
00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,730
对 还真是

562
00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:36,530
他在笼子里待了一个月

563
00:16:36,530 --> 00:16:38,050
看来确实得有个桶了

564
00:16:38,050 --> 00:16:39,270
这简直疯了

565
00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:40,260
什么东西都是艺术了

566
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,440
看这个

567
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,610
用烟头做的耶稣雕像

568
00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:44,790
嘭 我成了百万富翁了

569
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:46,160
- 这确实不错  - 我就知道

570
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,680
我还能叫它"圣烟"

571
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,230
我们是不是应该真的做一个

572
00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:49,780
不要了 对吧

573
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,020
那也太疯狂了 你不能突然就变成了个艺术家吧

574
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:52,510
- Jake  - 干嘛

575
00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:53,380
- 案子  - 对

576
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,570
那么Nick就有不在场证明 这可不好

577
00:16:55,570 --> 00:16:56,810
但我们有一箱子

578
00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,450
美术馆里面的Genevieve的东西

579
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,310
这里面一定有能让她洗清罪名的东西

580
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,520
- 对  - 我的天

581
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,520
袜子 鞋

582
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,560
我就是有这类东西的人啊

583
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,090
这就是命运

584
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,360
哦天 这是什么

585
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,720
这是个她没告诉过任何人的

586
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,170
仓库的收据

587
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,670
- 很可能什么都没有  - 对

588
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:14,170
对 对

589
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,870
- 肯定什么都没有  - 对

590
00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:21,850
一堆偷来的艺术品

591
00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:28,410
对Genevieve的事我很遗憾

592
00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:29,000
没事

593
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,930
我只有听天由命孤独一生了

594
00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:33,040
只有我和我的五条狗

595
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,430
等等 你不是只有三条狗吗

596
00:17:34,430 --> 00:17:36,520
我又在网上领养了两条

597
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,050
哦 这个斗牛犬讨厌孩子

598
00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:39,150
没关系 反正我也不会有

599
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:39,690
加到购物车

600
00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:42,560
我得把这个拿走

601
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,290
听我说 Charles

602
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:46,520
你会好起来的

603
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:47,870
有这么多的女人呢

604
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,990
强大的美丽的聪慧的女人

605
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:51,360
她怎么样

606
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,420
她很漂亮

607
00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:54,810
我一直这么"幸运" 她估计是个偷车贼

608
00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:55,910
别逗了

609
00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:57,470
- 嘿 Scully  - 干嘛

610
00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:58,650
那个美女是谁

611
00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:00,620
刚定了她是虐待老人

612
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,120
虐待老人 不错

613
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:02,730
好吧

614
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,020
我们不应该在警区干这个

615
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:06,260
我真的以为我能把Genevieve弄出监狱呢

616
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:07,780
然后我们就会全身裹满油彩

617
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:10,980
然后大干25小时 比她和Nick多一小时

618
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:11,870
Boyle 你不会喜欢这样的

619
00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:13,880
你小鸟的心脏会受不了的

620
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,270
要是我没有心就好了

621
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:17,450
我要去奶酪店了

622
00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,520
而且我要一整块一整块的买奶酪

623
00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:23,910
- 一整块奶酪  - 我知道了

624
00:18:23,910 --> 00:18:25,200
Gina 如你所料

625
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,470
对于海报活动是有些反对的声音

626
00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:31,290
对 我是你耻辱的预言家

627
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:32,800
我觉得我们有的一个问题就是

628
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,600
我们不能承认自己的错误

629
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,170
所以这次活动

630
00:18:38,170 --> 00:18:40,830
是

631
00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:42,840
个错误

632
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:43,740
你告诉过我了

633
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,300
但是我急于为自己辩护 没听你的

634
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:47,500
我应该虚心接纳批评

635
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,580
就如这个部门也要虚心接受批评一样

636
00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:54,890
所以把这个换成

637
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:58,070
我们坚信可以做得更好

638
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,280
这个
我们坚信可以做得更好

639
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,370
我们坚信可以做得更好

640
00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:00,650
我得邮箱地址在底下
我们坚信可以做得更好

641
00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:01,980
我得邮箱地址在底下

642
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:04,860
然后我想要回复每个消息

643
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:07,250
在把它们挂上之前 我想听听你们的看法

644
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:08,830
我喜欢它们

645
00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:12,720
我的建议又一次的 拯救了这个城市

646
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:13,830
我想出来的口号

647
00:19:13,830 --> 00:19:16,060
这时候抢功就不太好了

648
00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:19,540
我们来道歉的

649
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:21,220
我没有证据证明你吃了我的冰淇淋

650
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:22,380
所以我不应该冲你吼

651
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:23,270
我很佩服你

652
00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:24,950
只有大胸怀的人

653
00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:26,350
才会承认他们在犯蠢

654
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:27,700
所以我们想要补偿你们

655
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,440
我们买了个披萨

656
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,270
我们俩个人只有一个披萨

657
00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:33,900
我的天

658
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,620
这明显是个陷阱啊 你们这些白痴

659
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,950
你在吃芝士

660
00:19:37,950 --> 00:19:40,410
你撒谎了 你说你乳糖不耐受

661
00:19:40,410 --> 00:19:40,920
没有啊

662
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,620
只不过有些东西实在是太好吃了

663
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,250
即使要承受后果也无所谓了

664
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,060
我有糖尿病 我还是吃很多糖啊

665
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:46,900
呃

666
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:49,250
你们就承认吃了我的冰淇淋

667
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:50,510
承认吧

668
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,710
承认

669
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:54,180
吧

670
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:56,160
是啊 我们吃了

671
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,600
我们还吃了披萨

672
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,960
所以谁才是白痴呢

673
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,670
哦 我的肚子

674
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:05,500
哦 天哪

675
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,900
憋不住了

676
00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:10,090
他们承认了

677
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:11,530
这算是胜利了 对吗

678
00:20:11,530 --> 00:20:12,850
不是 Terry

679
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,830
没有胜利者

680
00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:15,830
哇 哦 哦

681
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:16,900
借过 借过

682
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:17,810
让道

683
00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:19,800
让道 让道 让道

684
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,370
你今天早上来的有点晚啊 Boyle

685
00:20:24,370 --> 00:20:25,110
你去哪了

686
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:26,390
在骂自己的影子

687
00:20:26,390 --> 00:20:28,420
怎么能跟我这样的屌丝一起混呢

688
00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:30,610
还有个眼科医生的预约

689
00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:31,630
拘留室里面的人

690
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:32,890
可能会让你开心呦

691
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,080
那是Nick的助手

692
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:36,950
她怎么在这

693
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:37,800
在你昨天走了之后

694
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,880
我在想24小时啪啪啪做出来的那幅画

695
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,690
"Genevieve 416"

696
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,540
看那个装了被盗艺术品的

697
00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:45,460
仓库的收据日期

698
00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:46,860
四月十六

699
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,520
- 416  - 没错

700
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,330
她没法租仓库

701
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:52,230
因为她有别的要忙的

702
00:20:52,230 --> 00:20:52,980
噢 太棒了

703
00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:54,280
这简直太棒了

704
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,270
我是说 我不是开心

705
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:56,660
她和其他男人做爱

706
00:20:56,660 --> 00:20:58,460
不过如果这能救她出来的话那就没问题了

707
00:20:58,460 --> 00:20:59,410
你到底有没有在听啊

708
00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,090
因为现在看来这简直就是故意的了

709
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,940
为什么Dvora要陷害Genevieve

710
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,640
因为她爱上了Nick

711
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,180
他用了Genevieve手的橡胶模子

712
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:08,090
来获取指纹

713
00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:09,300
这样她就能闯进艺术馆

714
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,160
哇 我不敢相信我都放弃了

715
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,430
你还在查这个案子

716
00:21:12,430 --> 00:21:13,970
你这样做简直太好了

717
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,360
Charles 我这样做不是为了做的好

718
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:19,030
是要做的惊艳

719
00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:20,330
而且我觉得你是优秀的警探

720
00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:21,420
我相信你的直觉

721
00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:23,200
把你女朋友救出监狱吧

722
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,720
谢了 哥们

723
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,870
下次你见我的时候 我肯定已经爽飞天了

724
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,100
你不能在拥抱别人的时候说这个