1
00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:06,320
猎鹰一号 我们准备行动吧

2
00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:08,250
准备好了 猛虎一号

3
00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:09,920
你破窗而入的时候打算说什么

4
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,180
嘿 抱歉突然落进来

5
00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:14,570
我都起鸡皮疙瘩了 Jake

6
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:16,150
- 装备安全吗  - 安全

7
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,090
- 手枪上膛没  - 上了

8
00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:17,920
你吃早饭了吗

9
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,520
什么 这不是检查清单里的内容啊

10
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,640
我加上这个是因为我关心你

11
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,800
- 没 我没吃早饭  - 不能接受

12
00:00:22,820 --> 00:00:23,880
看看你口袋

13
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:25,740
嘿 这儿有个小巧克力棒

14
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,950
没错 我又不是白痴 我知道怎么

15
00:00:26,950 --> 00:00:29,070
骗我最好的朋友补充纤维

16
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:32,370
好了 巧克力棒已消化 任务开始

17
00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:37,380
- 纽约警察  - 不许动

18
00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:38,740
把手放在我能看见的地方

19
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:41,780
嗨 抱歉突然落进来

20
00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:43,520
酷吗 我觉得超酷

21
00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:44,880
对对 挺酷的

22
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,220
挺酷的 哪儿不好了

23
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:48,360
- 没什么  - 你脸上有软糖

24
00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:51,080
哦 早餐棒上的 Boyle

25
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,620
神烦警探 第三季 第六集

26
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所以我破窗而入 脚先落地

27
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到处都是碎玻璃 然后我说

28
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嘿 抱歉突然落进来了

29
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- 吼  - 哇哦

30
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最棒的地方就是 我脸上什么都没有

31
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突然插入这个细节有点奇怪

32
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你才是个突然插入的奇怪细节

33
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- 嗯 什么  - 等一下 Peralta

34
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你无缘无故打破了一扇窗

35
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警长 这是基本警察战术 要控制每个出口

36
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那是个五楼的密封窗户

37
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你本可以跟Charles走门进去

38
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对 但那我的口号要是什么

39
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"当 当 谁啊 正义吗"

40
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哦 那个确实很棒

41
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:40,770
- Charles 写下来  - 已经写了

42
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,410
警长 有什么大不了的

43
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,510
我们阻止了两千克海洛因流入市面

44
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谁会在乎一扇打破的窗

45
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我在乎

46
00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:49,080
我是那个因为你的愚蠢表演而要花整个周末

47
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写文书的人

48
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但 Terry喜欢文书工作

49
00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:55,220
- 不 Jake 我不喜欢  - 哦

50
00:01:55,260 --> 00:01:59,390
我有两个孩子 一份工作和正怀孕的妻子

51
00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:01,860
我只有每周日的一个小时属于自己

52
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,060
你知道我那个时候干嘛吗

53
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:06,130
我泡个热水泡泡浴 把电视推进来

54
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然后看体育花絮

55
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体育花絮

56
00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:10,340
那很搞笑而且让人放松

57
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:11,900
让我的英雄们更人性化了

58
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好吧 我破窗而入

59
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那也算个花絮 对吧

60
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不

61
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你有意做的就不是花絮

62
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谢谢你毁了我的周末

63
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这就是个灾难

64
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哦 老兄 警长生气了

65
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我们该怎么办 Jake

66
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别担心 会好的

67
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我们只要把这个灾难变成

68
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一个绝对的"好运"

69
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下午
一个绝对的"好运"

70
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下午

71
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我想我该回去了
下午

72
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:34,390
我想我该回去了

73
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Ray叔叔 谢谢你借我

74
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你最好的警探一起吃饭

75
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,700
我的荣幸

76
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:40,600
当然 根据她的劳工合同

77
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她只有45分钟

78
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好的 很高兴见到你

79
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拜 宝贝

80
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等一下 Diaz警探

81
00:02:52,410 --> 00:02:53,780
你跟Marcus怎么样了

82
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:55,150
你指什么

83
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,450
他说"宝贝"时 你肩膀收紧了一下

84
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我问你俩怎么样了的时候

85
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你的鼻孔微张

86
00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,620
而且你袖子上有烩菠菜芝士

87
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:04,360
鉴于你对印度菜的厌恶

88
00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,490
这表示你让他选了餐厅

89
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:07,560
你为什么要这样做

90
00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:09,730
- 好意  - 同情

91
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:10,900
你要跟他分手了

92
00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:13,900
- 该死 你太棒了  - 嗯嗯

93
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,800
事情进展的不顺利

94
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,040
我不想多说

95
00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:18,640
对于我们已经说过的话我感到后悔

96
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:21,510
听着 我可能不应该掺合进来

97
00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:23,410
但Marcus是我侄子

98
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我希望你能温柔地甩了他

99
00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:27,580
别担心

100
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我不想事情变得尴尬

101
00:03:29,350 --> 00:03:30,820
我打算在他睡觉的时候给他发条短信

102
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"我们结束了"

103
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,890
清楚 准确

104
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,260
但你觉得那就够了吗

105
00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:38,120
"我们结束了

106
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,160
再见"

107
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没错 那才对

108
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,100
怎么了 Peralta

109
00:03:43,130 --> 00:03:44,360
Charles说你要让我比

110
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我新婚之夜还开心

111
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呃 要我我可不会这样说的

112
00:03:47,530 --> 00:03:49,570
但我知道你生气我毁了你的花絮时间

113
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,600
所以我做了你所有的文书工作

114
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,670
那没用的

115
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,270
你总是有几千个错误

116
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嗯哼 Amy替我做之前

117
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也是这么说的

118
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所以这是完美的

119
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好吧 嘿 谢了 老兄

120
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我很感激

121
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,750
而且我跟Sharon说了

122
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:04,880
也跟Holt警长说了

123
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,450
然后我们都觉得你应该放个假

124
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:09,120
所以这个周末 Charles和我

125
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,890
要带你去个很棒的户外地点

126
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,360
去 Lohank警探的小屋

127
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,130
去他的新婚夜

128
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,630
Lohank 那个屌丝

129
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:18,960
他就知道说他老婆

130
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,030
跟别的男人上床

131
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:21,770
不 他也有些很棒的关于他前列腺癌

132
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,170
的故事啊

133
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,640
而且 他不会在旁边待着

134
00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:25,800
就咱们三个

135
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,270
这话是骗人的

136
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,510
那里就是莱姆病发病中心

137
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:29,840
那就买点杀虫剂

138
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,880
而且那个小屋说不定满是黑霉

139
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:34,310
- 歧视  - 你知道吗

140
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:37,280
我要待在家里泡个"花絮澡"

141
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,080
哦 别这样 警长

142
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,150
这会很有趣的

143
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,390
你还记得 乐趣 吗

144
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,490
这是什么意思

145
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,760
没什么 就是

146
00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,460
我给咱们计划了一个很棒的男生周末

147
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:47,290
但你想的全是莱姆病

148
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,490
不是真的

149
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:50,130
我想的是所有的蜱虫疾病

150
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:55,570
鞭虫病 兔热病 落基山斑疹热

151
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,000
我可能真需要放松一下

152
00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,910
没错 你压力太大了

153
00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:02,010
找点乐子对你有好处 我保证

154
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,480
你知道吗 你是对的

155
00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:07,450
你们最好准备好见识 有趣的Terry

156
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,950
哦 有趣的是Terry 听起来很有趣

157
00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:10,880
哦 他很疯狂的

158
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,250
谢谢你计划这些 Jake

159
00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:14,850
不 谢谢你这么棒

160
00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:16,390
而且谢谢你开车带我们去小屋

161
00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,290
我的车在店里 坐Charles的车

162
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:19,990
就像坐在狗屁股里一样颠

163
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,290
有趣的Terry 等不及见识了

164
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:23,660
嘿 Gina 你能帮我个忙吗

165
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,660
当然 谢谢你问我

166
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,600
我现在不想做这些工作

167
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,540
哦 那些看起来像重要文件

168
00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:32,500
怎么了 我怎么帮你

169
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,240
呃 我还是个小孩的时候

170
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,380
我发明了一个磁手电别针

171
00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:41,110
所以我就可以在被子里读书了

172
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:44,350
这个别针跟我一起周游了世界

173
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:48,480
夏尔郡 甜蜜谷 特雷比西亚

174
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,500
但却没去过朋友家 是吧

175
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:51,890
没这个必要

176
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:54,260
反正我意识到这个可能对警察工作

177
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,260
真的很有用 所以我跟纽约警察采购

178
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,960
的头儿约了个时间

179
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,900
我要把这个卖给他 但我担心

180
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:03,040
我可能让人觉得有些无聊

181
00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:05,640
Amy 你是在问我

182
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:06,870
能不能帮你麻雀变凤凰

183
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,440
我没读过那个

184
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,140
但如果那是关于帮助朋友的 那没错

185
00:06:11,180 --> 00:06:14,080
请帮我麻雀变凤凰吧

186
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,080
好的

187
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,380
但如果我们要做这件事

188
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,620
我们就要用我的方式做 好吗

189
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:22,390
首先我要把你彻底打碎

190
00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:24,520
然后再把你一片片拼起来

191
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,830
见面就在明天

192
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:27,460
好吧 我们就只把你彻底打碎

193
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,860
然后看看那是什么时候

194
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,540
第二天早晨

195
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:32,520
什么味道

196
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,000
这是不含尿味的空气

197
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:36,530
只有离开了布鲁克林才闻得到

198
00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:39,230
不含尿味 这个我可以习惯

199
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:40,040
很好

200
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,540
这只是个开始 朋友

201
00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:43,070
等你坐到火边

202
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,010
啜着优质中国威士忌

203
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,210
抽着上好卢旺达雪茄

204
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,610
蛮好 蛮好

205
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,250
不带那些出产国的话我应该会挺享受的

206
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,510
不过听起来很好了

207
00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:53,880
- 是啊  - 你还准备了什么

208
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,380
可多了 比方说钓鱼

209
00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:58,510
比方说扑克 比方说扔飞盘

210
00:06:58,510 --> 00:06:59,480
Boyle 还有什么

211
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,980
采野花来做我们自己的专属古龙水

212
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:03,820
不 我是想说还有篝火和烤棉花糖巧克力夹心饼干

213
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:05,450
但让你接话就是我的错

214
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:06,960
一定会超级有趣的

215
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,320
这将会是史上最有趣的周末

216
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,960
欢迎来到臭水坑庄园

217
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,400
臭水坑

218
00:07:13,430 --> 00:07:15,160
庄园

219
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,990
只是好奇 为什么你

220
00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,410
给自己的房子起名为臭水坑

221
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,110
不是我

222
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,370
是房屋检查员想出来的

223
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:24,040
做了放射治疗之后我什么都闻不到了

224
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,180
又一个有趣的故事 对吧

225
00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:29,160
这里没电 没暖气

226
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,280
有自来水吗

227
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,980
当然有自来水

228
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:33,090
但我是不会用的

229
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,490
严重污染了

230
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,090
我们有三条狗死在井里了

231
00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:36,790
三条

232
00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:37,960
如果它们不是被拴在一起

233
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,730
我们可能只会失去一条

234
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,760
惨的是 他们都是我儿子的治疗犬

235
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,060
噢

236
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,060
我妻子离开后他就有了被遗弃的创伤

237
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,700
就像是一道情感伤疤上

238
00:07:46,730 --> 00:07:47,970
又覆上了一道情感伤疤

239
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,770
但树林很赞 对吧

240
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,200
哦是的 是的 可漂亮了

241
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,810
除了天坑的季节

242
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,010
什么时候是天坑季节

243
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,610
已经开始了大概 二十年了

244
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,410
就像里的冬天一样

245
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:58,440
好吧

246
00:07:58,480 --> 00:07:59,880
总之 我把这儿留给你们了

247
00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,050
玩得开心

248
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,080
别做任何我不会做的事

249
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,120
比方说

250
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,190
喝这的水或者让你的妻子

251
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,290
去出差

252
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,790
记住了

253
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,260
你想见我

254
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,860
我跟Kevin说了我赞成

255
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,460
你和Marcus的分手方法这件事

256
00:08:13,490 --> 00:08:16,560
然后他说我们是"反社会者"

257
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,560
所以你要离开他了吗

258
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,600
不 我觉得他说的或许有理

259
00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:22,970
你可能不该只是发一条短信

260
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,740
冗长的分手只会以

261
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,010
一个Marcus痛哭的大场面结束

262
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,380
他的感情太丰富了

263
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:36,820
他们这么深爱对方真是太感天动地了

264
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,780
这只是个广告

265
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:40,190
冰箱广告

266
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:41,790
是的确实令人却步

267
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:44,690
但我做了些和平分手的调查

268
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:49,030
我查阅了女性健康杂志网

269
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:59,840
第六板块情感在线的第867599904条

270
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,670
- 你知道这网站吗  - 不知道

271
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:04,040
很显然 如果你理解被甩的人的感觉

272
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:08,610
对方痛苦就会少些

273
00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:09,980
- 恶心  - 但别担心

274
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,650
我们来练习一下

275
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:14,050
我来当Marcus 开始

276
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:18,220
Marcus 我觉得我们应该分手

277
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,960
这使我难过

278
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:20,990
我很难过

279
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:22,160
我感觉到你的悲伤了

280
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,960
我感觉被理解了

281
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,560
谢谢你和我分手

282
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,730
我需要八分钟把自己的东西收好

283
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:29,970
我觉得进行的不错

284
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000
嗯

285
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,510
好了 小溪

286
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:36,140
请给我打包三条新鲜鳟鱼 谢谢

287
00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:39,850
直接飞上去了

288
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,810
现在掉下来了 妈呀

289
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:44,150
学着点 失败者们

290
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:46,320
呀

291
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:48,120
- 我没看见它去哪了  - 我脖子后面

292
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,520
在我脖子后面

293
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:53,690
我从你们的教训中学到了

294
00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:58,930
不要太用力 放得晚些 还有

295
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,330
挺有趣的 钓鱼挺有趣的

296
00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:03,440
- 是啊  - 回小屋吗

297
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,540
- 好啊  - 好啊

298
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,440
在我们着手你的演讲前

299
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:08,040
你怎么称呼这个产品

300
00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:12,110
免提照明系统 或者免照灯

301
00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:14,110
听起来像个基因疾病似的

302
00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:16,780
叫肩上新星怎么样

303
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:18,350
我喜欢 太棒了

304
00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:19,550
完美

305
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:21,090
现在来说说演讲

306
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,790
你的开头什么样的

307
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,920
嗨 我叫Amy Santiago

308
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,590
我的产品将会带来很大的改变

309
00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:29,960
肩上新星

310
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,900
我唯一的建议就是 再多百分之一千的魅力吧

311
00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:35,670
很好的建议

312
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:36,970
好了

313
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,370
我懂了

314
00:10:39,410 --> 00:10:41,770
嗯

315
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:43,840
叮

316
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:48,650
噢你们好 我是Amy Santiago

317
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,780
够有魅力了吗

318
00:10:50,820 --> 00:10:54,090
奇怪的是 可能有点太有魅力了

319
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,650
我的想法是

320
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:58,160
你可以先坐下

321
00:10:58,190 --> 00:11:00,160
好了

322
00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:04,760
直到这一刻 世界都只有黑暗

323
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,400
但现在有了

324
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,470
光

325
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:12,300
我是Vanessa Santiago

326
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:16,140
我将会给你们带来震撼

327
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,780
你想让我把名字改成Vanessa

328
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,480
非常想

329
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:21,850
不得不说 中国人

330
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,850
很懂如何制作难喝的威士忌

331
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,050
显然是

332
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:26,820
好难喝 不过能让你醉

333
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,620
我找到全部的虫了

334
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:30,590
它们在外屋吃一只狐狸的身体

335
00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:32,960
说到这个 我饿了

336
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:34,730
- 晚饭吃什么  - 晚饭

337
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,660
当然啊 晚饭

338
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,030
你没带食物吗

339
00:11:39,070 --> 00:11:40,170
外面有新鲜狐狸

340
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,670
不是新鲜的

341
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:42,800
你认真的吗

342
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,370
我们来的路上停车三次

343
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,610
就为了买烟花 而你都没有想过买点吃的吗

344
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:48,810
那些冷藏箱里装的是什么

345
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:50,180
烟花啊

346
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,680
我以为我们能钓一手好鱼嘛

347
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:54,180
我相信我们有实力还有错咯

348
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:57,620
没关系的 别担心

349
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,320
我刚上了一个野外觅食的课 不是我吹

350
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:02,120
他们都叫我蘑菇大师

351
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,320
瞧 蘑菇大师来拯救我们了

352
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:05,860
你看 警长 所有问题都可以解决的

353
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:07,190
你不用老这么紧张

354
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:08,860
Boyle 你真的能给我们找到食物当晚餐吗

355
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,700
这个嘛 我保证

356
00:12:11,990 --> 00:12:14,200
肯定能有一餐 孢子盛宴

357
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,800
五小时后

358
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,340
Charles肯定出事了 对吧

359
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,440
出大事了

360
00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,010
天哪 要是我们听到的

361
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,940
他最后的话是 孢子盛宴 可咋办

362
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:26,670
Charles Charles

363
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:28,010
我有些担心了 Jake

364
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,280
放心吧

365
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:31,180
Charles最懂怎么在野外生存了

366
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,310
Into the Woods 美国电影

367
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,850
小心点 那是毒藤

368
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,750
哇 提醒得好

369
00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:38,420
我对毒藤过敏

370
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:39,950
以前参加体育训练营的时候

371
00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:42,790
在林子里跟Liz Almont亲热的时候被蛰到过一次

372
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:44,620
好吧 我们没在亲热

373
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:45,960
是我在找我的呼吸器

374
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:49,460
也不是体育训练营 是哮喘夏令营

375
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,100
Jake 我们是不是迷路了

376
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,270
啥 没有啊

377
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:55,070
我们在探险

378
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,240
对吧 有趣的Terry

379
00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:57,440
有趣的Terry已经不存在了

380
00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:59,140
他一个小时前饿死了

381
00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:00,570
这个是原版Terry

382
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:01,740
最可怕的Terry

383
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,510
你没带地图和手电吗

384
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,550
或者任何能不让我们迷路的东西

385
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:08,580
这些我都带了

386
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,980
手机上都有好吗

387
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:12,020
地图 手电 指南针

388
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,650
还有一个能让我声音变得像T-Pain的软件

389
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,320
然而现在没电了 所以就只是块砖了

390
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,960
莫慌

391
00:13:16,990 --> 00:13:19,030
我也不需要那个变声软件 对吧

392
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:22,960
*我们彻底迷路了*

393
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,800
这句听起来更像青蛙卡米特了

394
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,340
你回来啦

395
00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:30,400
分手进行的怎么样

396
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,170
我试着体会他的感受来着

397
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,770
不容易啊 他感受太多了

398
00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:36,740
我不明白

399
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:39,410
很伤心

400
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:40,750
你打算跳窗出去吗

401
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:41,880
没有啊

402
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,520
我又爬了回来 我们又聊了

403
00:13:43,550 --> 00:13:44,720
20分钟的内心感受

404
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:45,950
- 天哪  - 没错

405
00:13:45,990 --> 00:13:47,020
但我觉得进行的不错

406
00:13:47,050 --> 00:13:48,120
起码没人哭

407
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,660
干得不错 Diaz

408
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:51,420
你让我这样做其实挺好的

409
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:54,760
我可以告诉他虽然我们分手了

410
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,960
但这段感情对我很重要

411
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,630
我会想他的

412
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,030
哦 不

413
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:03,740
我就是不希望这个

414
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:06,240
你在哭吗

415
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:07,440
我活该

416
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:09,540
Charles死了 而我们就是下一个

417
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,640
好了 别这么夸张

418
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,350
他可能正在啃树皮和浆果呢

419
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:15,210
玩的很开心 还平平安安的

420
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,720
Terry Jake

421
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:18,820
嘿嘿 我听到了啥

422
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,820
这不是平平安安的Charles Boyle吗

423
00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:22,160
Charles 你说什么

424
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,820
你玩得很开心对吗

425
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:26,490
我掉进了一个洞里 还受伤了

426
00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:27,660
尼玛

427
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,400
Boyle 怎么回事啊

428
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:31,930
我知道 洞很大 对吧

429
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:33,170
你怎么会掉下去的啊

430
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,000
我看到了一颗超漂亮的鸡油菇

431
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,600
我伸手去摘 但是扭了一下脚 就掉下来了

432
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,440
好吧 你别担心 我们这就救你上来

433
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:40,940
我好害怕啊

434
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,610
一个占卜的人曾经告诉我我会一个人死在一个坑里

435
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,980
我一直告诉自己

436
00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,080
这是个洞 不是坑 是洞 不是坑

437
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:47,310
这是洞 不是坑

438
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:48,450
这是洞 不是坑

439
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,580
Charles 这是个洞 不是坑

440
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:52,350
好了 拉着我

441
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,850
抓住我的手 好吗

442
00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:56,590
好

443
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,490
Terry 把我们拉上去吧

444
00:14:58,530 --> 00:14:59,960
不好了 我在往下滑

445
00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:06,600
这不就是Lohank的狗的故事吗

446
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:07,380
肩上新星

447
00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:08,860
总而言之
肩上新星

448
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:08,880
肩上新星

449
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,780
除去了手电筒的笨拙

450
00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:10,900
肩上新星
除去了手电筒的笨拙

451
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:10,940
肩上新星

452
00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:13,540
肩上新星平均下来可以为警员省下
肩上新星

453
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:13,570
肩上新星

454
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,310
超过13000秒的时间
肩上新星

455
00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:15,510
超过13000秒的时间

456
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,880
哇 真不少呢 Vanessa

457
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,150
没错

458
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,250
看了只有一件事还没完成了

459
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,720
你有权保持

460
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,150
嗷

461
00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:28,690
足够的光线

462
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,230
哇 这个展示太棒了

463
00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:33,560
很有趣

464
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:34,560
谢谢 长官

465
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,000
问题在这个产品

466
00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:37,700
我不觉得有什么用处

467
00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:39,170
如果我两手都满了的话

468
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,230
我一般会把手电筒叼在嘴里

469
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:42,270
可是长官 人体口腔是很脏的

470
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,670
但不要钱啊

471
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,910
抱歉 我不感兴趣

472
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:49,480
好吧 谢谢你花时间看我们的演讲

473
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:55,850
你太垃圾了

474
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:58,620
火生不起来

475
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:00,790
- 这次郊游太棒了  - 谢啦

476
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:01,820
你明明就知道我是在讽刺你

477
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:02,960
哪里讽刺了

478
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,220
你没带食物 也没带水

479
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:05,990
也没问Lohank他的小屋

480
00:16:06,030 --> 00:16:07,490
是不是从恐怖电影里出来的

481
00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:08,930
现在你又害我们被困在一个坑里

482
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,030
这是个洞

483
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:11,330
好吧 我知道现在

484
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,730
情况看起来很糟糕

485
00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:14,400
但你得承认 前面还是玩得很开心的

486
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,070
我现在不开心 我从来没这么有压力过

487
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,370
也许是因为你的关注点都在

488
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:19,940
消极的事物上了 Ter熊 你看Charles

489
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,440
他很放松啊 我也很放松

490
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,810
那是因为他都被吓傻了 我跟你说

491
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,240
你之所以这么放松

492
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,110
是因为你总是让别人收拾你的烂摊子

493
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,620
没带吃的吗 Charles会去找蘑菇

494
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:32,950
打烂了玻璃吗 Terry会报备的

495
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:34,490
我报备了啊

496
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,020
是Amy做的

497
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,490
两位 别吵了好吗

498
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:38,930
我最讨厌你们吵架了

499
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,270
让我想起了我爸之前总是和我最好的朋友吵架

500
00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:43,260
就是我妈

501
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:44,380
我受够了

502
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,470
我要睡了

503
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:46,950
Charles 跟我抱着睡

504
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,510
我们要抱着保暖

505
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,240
不行 Charles 你是我最好的朋友

506
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,150
你要和我抱着睡

507
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,450
我先说的

508
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,780
Charles 赶快过来

509
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:55,920
Boyle 别为了和Terry的一夜抱

510
00:16:55,950 --> 00:16:57,420
扔掉了一世的友情

511
00:16:57,460 --> 00:16:58,920
好了 我们都别吵了

512
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,160
我们一起躺下

513
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:02,130
像大人一样来个三人抱抱吧

514
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,900
快点 来吧 来吧

515
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:08,930
看 好了吧

516
00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:11,300
好多了吧 对不

517
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:13,270
要不要一起唱首歌啊

518
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,510
闭嘴 Charles

519
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:21,060
Jake呢 Jake去哪儿了

520
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,730
你是不是把他吃了 Terry

521
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:23,870
没有

522
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,350
大家早上好啊

523
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,110
你怎么从坑里出去的

524
00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:29,770
简简单单 小事一桩啊

525
00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:31,340
其实花了我几个小时

526
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:33,840
我把我所有的衣服绑在一起 再系在一根木头上

527
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,410
然后当抓钩用

528
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:37,080
总算钩住一个树根

529
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,180
难道你不冷吗

530
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,180
一点也不冷

531
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,150
主要是因为这树上的毒藤

532
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:42,820
弄的我的皮肤火辣辣的

533
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,020
你为什么要那样做

534
00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:47,020
让我猜猜 愚蠢的错误吧

535
00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:49,660
错 是愚蠢的选择

536
00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:51,330
我不想干坐着

537
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:52,460
等着别人来救我

538
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,260
看来我的话你听进去了

539
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:55,630
是啊

540
00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:58,770
而且你睡着以后 Boyle真的谴责了我

541
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,770
无情的谴责啊

542
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,470
我必须得说 Jake 这一次

543
00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:03,740
我认为你只对了百分之99

544
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,080
- 该翻身了  - 不

545
00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:09,080
啊

546
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,180
你在上面能看到些什么吗

547
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:13,420
可以啊 能看到

548
00:18:13,450 --> 00:18:16,720
臭水坑庄园 太阳方向大概65棵树的距离

549
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,020
老天 在森林里才呆一天

550
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:20,120
我简直就是无敌探险家了

551
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,860
谢谢你过来 Diaz

552
00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:23,660
我想为昨天的事道歉

553
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,360
插手我的下属和我侄子的分手

554
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,730
结果 适得其反

555
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,200
不是你的错

556
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,770
是我当众出丑 哭得像个傻子

557
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:36,970
我考虑去切除我的泪腺

558
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:40,910
其实有感情并不是件

559
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:41,980
坏事

560
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:43,080
可能吧

561
00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:44,410
确实存在

562
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,780
问题是 我真的很在意Marcus

563
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,350
但是他想结婚

564
00:18:48,390 --> 00:18:51,090
而我还没准备好

565
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,300
如果像Marcus这么好的人 我都不想嫁

566
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,160
那我是不是永远都不想嫁呢

567
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,500
如果这次

568
00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:01,260
就是我唯一一次真爱呢

569
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:04,170
如果我再也没有机会了呢

570
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,740
我不知道 我只是

571
00:19:08,770 --> 00:19:10,410
只是很伤心

572
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,620
我懂的

573
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,080
一定很难过

574
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,620
等等 你在哭吗

575
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,040
是啊

576
00:19:24,590 --> 00:19:26,220
谢谢你倾听我的感受

577
00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:28,490
也谢谢你倾听我的

578
00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:34,260
咱俩太擅长这个了

579
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:37,100
嘿 朋友

580
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:39,040
你看起来有点"垂丧情低"啊

581
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:41,870
垂头丧气 情绪低落 的分别缩写

582
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,540
如果你还得解释的话

583
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:44,610
那还不如不缩写呢

584
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,040
保留意见

585
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,780
我想和你谈谈昨天的事

586
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:51,820
恩 谢谢你帮我做展示

587
00:19:51,850 --> 00:19:53,680
抱歉把你的才能浪费在

588
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,350
这么个愚蠢的产品上

589
00:19:55,390 --> 00:19:57,020
没有你们这种制造者

590
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:58,820
我们这样的能人哪有机会

591
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:00,190
发光发热啊

592
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:02,390
是啊 但是我的发明完全没用

593
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:04,630
才不是 那个人渣说错了

594
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:07,260
我把"肩上新星"给我楼里的一个女孩介绍了

595
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,130
她就像是个小版的你 她非常喜欢

596
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:12,240
她说她要打破快速阅读的

597
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:13,270
世界纪录

598
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,640
切 是啊

599
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:17,540
好像一个小女孩能打败Yuri Jurgonav似的

600
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,650
总之 我知道这和你想要的不一样

601
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,180
但对你还是产生了一点影响的

602
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:27,220
谢谢你 Gina

603
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:29,590
我想我确实"产影"了

604
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,490
- 别学我的风格  - 好

605
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,790
- 我就这点要求  - 记住了

606
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:34,260
纽约警局炸弹销毁点

607
00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:34,990
警长
纽约警局炸弹销毁点

608
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:35,230
纽约警局炸弹销毁点

609
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:35,620
让我们上来这里干什么啊
纽约警局炸弹销毁点

610
00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:37,990
让我们上来这里干什么啊

611
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,430
谢谢你们陪我过周末

612
00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:41,930
真的吗 那简直是场灾难啊

613
00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:43,130
也不完全是

614
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:44,970
没人因为那些死过狗的水而生病啊

615
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,340
- 你喝了那水  - 没

616
00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:49,570
听着 Jake 你是对的

617
00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:52,140
我有点忘记怎么找开心了

618
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:54,910
我得努力找回来 所以

619
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:57,950
我们回到纽约时

620
00:20:57,980 --> 00:20:59,680
你让我上缴的烟花

621
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,850
嗯哼 有趣Terry回来啦

622
00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:05,220
我们来一次把它们全部点燃吧

623
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:06,960
开枪点燃吗

624
00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:08,690
- 什么 不行  - 当然不行

625
00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:10,260
我们要像其他人一样正常点燃它们

626
00:21:10,290 --> 00:21:12,330
噢 那也不错

627
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,170
开始了

628
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,470
看这多好玩啊

629
00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:24,270
原来的Terry会担心

630
00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:27,280
我们站得太近 需要带安全眼镜

631
00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:28,580
而他绝对是对的

632
00:21:28,610 --> 00:21:29,810
我们离得太近了 快跑