1
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:04,660
哦 过来 过来过来

2
00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:05,700
你得见证下这一刻

3
00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:08,020
我要给Holt警监送礼物了

4
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:10,340
哦 他放弃"年年过节不收礼"原则了吗

5
00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:11,460
不 他没有

6
00:00:11,540 --> 00:00:13,600
但我想到了一个既能给他买礼物

7
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,460
还能骗他收下的方法

8
00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:17,860
- 你可真坏  - 我知道 可不是嘛

9
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:19,940
- 哦 等等 你在逗我玩  - 嗯哼

10
00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:20,730
好吧 我不在乎

11
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,500
他永远不会拆礼物对吧

12
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:25,110
但如果他的礼物看起来不像礼物呢

13
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:25,940
他就会打开了吗

14
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:29,060
没错 我把它用纸箱装起来放警监桌上了

15
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:31,460
没有贺卡 只写了句"现在打开它"

16
00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:33,200
我故意用另一只手写的

17
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,980
那样他就认不出我笔迹了

18
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,780
- 警监  - Santiago Peralta

19
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:38,200
长官

20
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,830
所以情况就是 你把一个没有标记

21
00:00:40,830 --> 00:00:42,040
还带着可疑字条的包裹

22
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,260
在某个周一放到了一位警监的桌上

23
00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:45,130
然后字迹还像是

24
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:46,660
- 一个疯子写出来  - 嗯哼

25
00:00:46,740 --> 00:00:49,040
炸弹 有炸弹 所有人现在疏散

26
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,310
快疏散 疏散

27
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:52,900
这不是演习 动起来

28
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,620
好礼物 宝贝

29
00:00:56,970 --> 00:00:58,430
神烦警探 第三季 第十集

30
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:21,060
嚯嚯嚯 Jake 圣诞小精灵特快专递

31
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:22,580
圣诞快乐

32
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,260
- 惊喜苏打  - 老天爷 我喜欢这玩意

33
00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:30,630
- 你知道技术上看这只是瓶充气水吧  - 我知道

34
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,260
- 我以为他们被禁了  - 叙利亚还有

35
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,420
他们用这个来使山羊劳作

36
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:37,140
而你真正的礼物明天才会送到

37
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,160
还有吗 Charles 你太费心了

38
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:39,870
胡说

39
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,710
只不过是费时费力而已

40
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:42,940
噢

41
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:46,820
Gina 我完蛋了

42
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:47,940
我忘记给Charles买礼物了

43
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:50,020
果然 我就知道他会郁郁而终的

44
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,140
我真是个自私的混蛋

45
00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,610
我光想着给Amy买礼物

46
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:53,740
大脑一片空白

47
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,320
他给我的礼物也太贴心了

48
00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:57,350
好了 动脑想想 Charles喜欢什么

49
00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:59,790
恶心的事物 棕色裤子

50
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,190
哦 我可以打电话给那些孩子

51
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,460
送他们一趟免费纽约之旅

52
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:03,490
是我就不会这么干

53
00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:04,760
是哦 对他们来说我是个陌生人

54
00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:05,960
我不该引诱他们跨州出游

55
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,660
- 提醒得好  - Jake 去趟古德温百货就够了

56
00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:09,430
他们营业到很晚 里头什么都有

57
00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:11,370
很好 机智 求你跟我一起去吧

58
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,600
拜托 我需要你帮我挑礼物

59
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,740
求你了 Gina

60
00:02:14,770 --> 00:02:16,470
我会帮你拍张Terry的更衣室照

61
00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:19,740
要没披毛巾的 而且脚要踩在长椅上

62
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,640
只有披着毛巾 出水芙蓉状的

63
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:22,840
成交

64
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:23,950
嘿 伙计们 怎么了

65
00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:25,980
么事啦

66
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,390
Diaz 我们还去今晚的北极熊冬泳夜吗

67
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:31,790
不去冬泳就要和我家人去唱颂歌

68
00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,050
当然去

69
00:02:33,090 --> 00:02:34,560
我宁愿浸入冰冷的海水

70
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:35,260
等等 什么

71
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:36,650
你们要去冬泳

72
00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:37,590
为什么不叫上我呢

73
00:02:37,630 --> 00:02:38,690
哦 我们以为你不会感兴趣

74
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:40,030
是啊 你总是怕冷

75
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,490
你七月中旬还带了条毯子

76
00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:42,360
去看纽约大都会比赛呢

77
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,700
只有她才会觉得7月18日是中旬

78
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:50,640
你们觉得我是个软蛋 但我不是

79
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,970
我坚韧不拔 健康强壮

80
00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:55,010
而且爱死了在冷水里扑腾

81
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,850
那可不只是冷 而是

82
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,850
宛若冥河般 寒彻骨髓

83
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,380
到时候海边见

84
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:03,150
我已经饥渴难耐了

85
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,120
好了 各位 我要走了

86
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,590
27号我才回来

87
00:03:09,630 --> 00:03:11,690
我有两天时间享受家庭之乐

88
00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:13,530
别想给我打电话

89
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,460
我可不想看到像去年一样

90
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,110
圣诞一大早Scully给我打了

91
00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:17,970
50次电话的事再出现

92
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,930
不 我只给你打了一次

93
00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,200
剩下49次是我屁股按到的

94
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,510
好吧 但我大舅子Zeke总是

95
00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:25,700
吐槽我的手机老响

96
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:34,080
某人有很多事要忙嘛

97
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,650
你是谁啊 Barbara Corcoran吗

98
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:38,720
他甚至都不把我比作一个好的投资人

99
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:39,990
我显然是Lori那型的好吗

100
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,540
谁都别打给我

101
00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:44,190
Gina

102
00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:47,300
这是我们头年庆祝Boyle-Linetti联合圣诞

103
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:48,480
要坐老爸的木橇去市中心

104
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,700
有没有很兴奋呀

105
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,970
圣诞节取消了 Charles毁了它

106
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,030
我可能会迟到一会儿

107
00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:54,370
我要去帮Jake购物

108
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,500
哦 最后一刻的礼物

109
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,410
你还没决定好谁的礼物啊

110
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,110
告诉我吧 Jake 谁是你名单上

111
00:04:00,110 --> 00:04:01,980
最后的可怜虫

112
00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:05,550
实际上是Amy

113
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,620
- Amy 那可不好  - 嗯哼

114
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,460
就把你要送我的礼物给她吧

115
00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:12,290
真的吗

116
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,060
但那样我就没东西送你了

117
00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:16,060
你对此没意见吗

118
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,730
还是不了 那会让我心碎成渣渣

119
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:18,990
我去拿我的外套

120
00:04:19,030 --> 00:04:20,500
我这就帮你去挑送她的礼物

121
00:04:20,530 --> 00:04:21,640
哦 你没必要这样

122
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,930
停 停 停 Jake

123
00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:24,870
你也没必要摸我的脸啊

124
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,570
这可是圣诞节 友谊之节

125
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,770
该死 好吧

126
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,010
我们到商店的时候就要靠你

127
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,470
- 来分散他注意力了  - 没问题

128
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:33,010
我会把他带到厨具区 然后问他

129
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,340
长颈平底锅和长柄平底煎锅有什么区别

130
00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,280
- 那能给你挣到六个小时呢  - 真棒

131
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,980
Gina 你拯救了圣诞节

132
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:41,320
这就是我的使命

133
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:43,650
每个破年都如此

134
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:44,720
- 晚安  - 晚安

135
00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:48,560
等等 不 不 不 别锁门啊

136
00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,590
我们只要买一样东西就好 我很快的

137
00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:51,690
快到连钱都不会付

138
00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:52,830
为什么这么说没用啊

139
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:53,930
嘿 里面还有人呢

140
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,160
他们还没关门

141
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,500
头一回来零售店吗 雾都孤儿

142
00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:59,770
他们锁门的时候 如果你还在里面

143
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,770
你就还有15分钟来结账

144
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,640
哦 好吧 那我们只要试着

145
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:04,740
从后门溜进去就好了

146
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:05,740
Boyle 你得待在这

147
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:06,880
这太危险了

148
00:05:06,910 --> 00:05:08,440
我才不会让你一人以身涉险

149
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,110
该死的 你也太忠诚了

150
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:11,180
走吗

151
00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,220
哦

152
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:22,160
反之 你用长柄平底锅

153
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:25,220
烹制鱼皮的方法是截然不同的

154
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:25,790
嗯哼

155
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:28,400
而你用锅铲的技术显而易见

156
00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:30,230
- 拜托 再说多点吧  - 好了我买到了

157
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,100
他们要关门了 我们走

158
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,770
哦 让我偷瞄一眼你买了什么

159
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,900
- 古龙水  - 呃 明明是香水

160
00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:37,610
- 给女士用的  - 这款分明是峡谷神香

161
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,540
上面还有男人骑小驴的图标呢

162
00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:41,170
哦有吗 我没注意

163
00:05:41,170 --> 00:05:42,510
我只是喜欢它的味道

164
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,220
我用的就是这款古龙水 Jake

165
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,150
我就是个"神香"男

166
00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,220
呃 我不知道 可能只是下意识拿的

167
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:50,150
我想让Amy闻起来更像你

168
00:05:50,190 --> 00:05:53,460
好吧 有点诡异 老兄 口味真重

169
00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:55,890
哇哦 时代真的在变化啊

170
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,160
闭嘴 接着走

171
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,130
要命 商店被抢劫了

172
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,430
过来

173
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,100
好吧 慢慢后退 我们后面有扇门

174
00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:10,090
我们只要溜出去然后

175
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:10,990
呼叫99区就好

176
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:11,780
走

177
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,140
去保险库 这边搞定了

178
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:26,150
- 把他们锁起来  - 他们把出口封住了

179
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:28,690
哦 我的老天啊

180
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,190
这简直是真实版

181
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:35,400
我是说 "哦不 有人犯罪啦"

182
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,080
他们抓住了所有保安

183
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,850
我把枪放在储物柜里了 你带了吗

184
00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,200
没有 我的在单位啊

185
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,360
Boyle式的圣诞竞争精神可是很强的

186
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,980
最好不要把武器带着身边

187
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:54,080
我们不需要枪 我有打火机好吗

188
00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:56,650
我们可以弄点发胶 做个喷火枪

189
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,220
让我们烤了那帮小婊砸

190
00:06:58,220 --> 00:06:59,890
谁都不会烤什么小婊砸

191
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,490
Charles 你上报紧急事况了吗

192
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,720
报了 但99区的人

193
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,820
我一个也联系不上

194
00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:06,330
好吧 Amy Rosa和Holt警监正在享受生活

195
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,530
在冷冰冰脏兮兮的海里扑腾

196
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,860
我试试打给Terry

197
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,600
感谢您让我们度过幸福的一年

198
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:13,470
感谢您赐予我们这桌珍馐佳肴

199
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:18,740
而我最在乎的就是我的家人

200
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,640
比起手机来说重要多了

201
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:23,380
你就接电话吧 Barbara Corcoran

202
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,680
这最好是个紧急事件

203
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,040
最好有把枪抵着你的脑袋

204
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,610
Charles Gina和我被当成人质了

205
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:31,050
哦上帝 我不该提到枪的

206
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,960
我现在后悔刚才那样应答电话了

207
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,040
我们在古德温百货 有好几个持枪劫匪

208
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:35,920
他们把出口给封死了

209
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,610
劫持了保安人员

210
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,410
我们正在找地方藏身

211
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:40,020
真是棒极了

212
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:42,460
- 棒极了  - 糟糕极了

213
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:44,330
我一点也不喜欢现状 不论它和我最爱电影的

214
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,600
真实版有多像

215
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:48,500
关键是要保证Gina的安全

216
00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:50,370
你们身边有一个平民 我马上就来

217
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,200
太棒了 对了 顺便带一张你绑着毛巾

218
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,440
刚出浴的照片来吧

219
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:55,040
不能告诉你原因 我挂啦 拜拜

220
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,630
发生了很紧急的事件

221
00:07:58,630 --> 00:07:59,410
他们需要我的帮助

222
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,910
是你的警员里有人把脑袋掉屁股上了么

223
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,010
你连个工作都没有好吗

224
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:07,150
你知道么 我本不该提起这件事的

225
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,420
但我还是决定说了

226
00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:11,090
听你吐槽简直烦透了

227
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,660
知道么 你的吐槽完全就是一坨屎

228
00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:17,590
孩子们 我爱你们 Sharon你是最棒的

229
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,600
Zeke 赶紧找份工作吧你

230
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,540
好了 我们在这儿应该安全了

231
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:30,610
这地方看起来不错

232
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,310
何止不错 简直棒呆了

233
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,410
圣诞老人之椅

234
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,710
紧急支援小队在来的路上了

235
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:37,050
现在最关键的是要保证Gina的安全

236
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:37,950
保证我的安全

237
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,680
我要帮你们抓住那帮人

238
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:42,870
不 你别参与这件事

239
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:43,550
你不是警察

240
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,220
我看你办事看了六年了

241
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:46,560
也不是太难嘛

242
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:49,230
不就是喊喊"纽约警察 你被捕了"

243
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:51,130
这绝对是在模仿Charles

244
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,300
在我去侦查期间 先和他待在一起

245
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:55,900
等下 我们不是应该待在一起吗

246
00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:57,700
得有人去探查敌情 Boyle

247
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,800
再说了 我们在圣诞节被困住了

248
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,440
还是和一帮极有可能是德国人的劫匪

249
00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:04,210
简直就是我的John McClane时刻

250
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,140
好吧 但你需要一件背心

251
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,880
- 你可以穿我的  - 不用了

252
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,450
- 我在来的路上顺了一件  - 写着"少女宝贝"

253
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:12,950
的确 他们的品味不怎么样

254
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:14,020
我可能就不穿背心了

255
00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:15,850
- 是啊  - 我会回来的

256
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,790
接着 Gina

257
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,060
你还好吧 你看着像要冻死了

258
00:09:22,090 --> 00:09:24,360
没事儿 我觉得挺热的

259
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,000
又热又激动 赶紧把这事儿弄完吧

260
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:29,530
- 先祝酒  - 太好了 赶紧喝

261
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:32,040
- 敬大海  - 敬大海

262
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:33,200
我还没说完

263
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,040
淡定 Amy 让他说完祝酒词

264
00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:36,370
谢谢你 Rosa

265
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:40,840
我想起了英国诗人Christina Rossetti的圣诞颂词

266
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,610
"萧瑟隆冬中 风霜簌飒飒

267
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:48,250
大地钢铁般坚硬 池塘水晶般永恒"

268
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:50,190
飒飒 水晶 手机 懂了懂了

269
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:53,020
一口闷了 赶紧把这事儿弄完

270
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,790
啊

271
00:09:54,830 --> 00:10:00,760
冲啊

272
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,230
不不不不不不

273
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,530
我的天

274
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:11,610
我是99片区的Jeffords警长

275
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,540
有两个警探和一个平民在里面

276
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,540
这里谁负责

277
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,180
我负责 蠢货

278
00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:20,120
- 秃鹰  - 对 就是我

279
00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:22,090
亲自出马

280
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,320
宽扎节快乐

281
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:25,560
你有本事再说一遍

282
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,370
让我们看看是什么情况

283
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,400
我就叫你 Klaus

284
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,880
叫你 Guenter

285
00:10:47,910 --> 00:10:50,810
U上带两个点

286
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,120
叫你 Jurgen

287
00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,790
嘿 Matt 你到位了吗

288
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:01,460
到位了

289
00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:04,930
这下好了 反派名字叫Matt

290
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,830
嘿 抱歉去了这么久

291
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:08,530
Gina 你怎么样 害怕吗

292
00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,470
我只怕你不让我做喷火枪

293
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,670
去烧人

294
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:12,900
说得对 我不会让你做的

295
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,340
你好好藏在这

296
00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:15,870
交给我和Boyle处理

297
00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:18,500
现在的情况是这样 12个恐怖分子 1个警察

298
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:19,510
一切正合他意

299
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:20,490
- 他是谁  - 我啊

300
00:11:20,490 --> 00:11:21,710
你为什么管自己叫"他"

301
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,250
因为那是的标语

302
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,910
和我高中年鉴的留言

303
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,150
我就觉得耳熟 下次开场也要这么说

304
00:11:27,180 --> 00:11:29,150
好的 还有抱歉 没有12个人

305
00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:31,450
只有7个 而且不是恐怖分子 是抢劫犯

306
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,160
他们带了钻孔设备来钻破保险柜

307
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:36,230
所以是7个抢劫犯 2个警察 1个Gina

308
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,730
- 对 正确  - 懂了

309
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,230
Gina 人呢

310
00:11:41,170 --> 00:11:43,000
她在那 她去拿发胶了

311
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:45,600
她真是没治了

312
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,740
- 你是谁 过来  - 不

313
00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:50,500
不 不 不 不 Jake 他们抓住Gina了

314
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,510
我知道 我们看的是一个地方

315
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,470
什么 Gina被抓了

316
00:11:56,470 --> 00:11:57,940
- 我让你看好她的  - 我知道

317
00:11:57,940 --> 00:12:00,610
我对不起你 但我保证我们会把她救回来

318
00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:01,780
这下糟了

319
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:03,660
我得把情况告诉秃鹰

320
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:04,690
他是负责人

321
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,960
呃 秃鹰

322
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:08,560
我以为他去东南亚按摩之旅了

323
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,900
他明天走

324
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,500
所以他想速战速决

325
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,170
- 他想要强突  - 不

326
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,300
不不不 坏主意

327
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:16,840
我们还不知道

328
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,600
Gina和其他人质在哪儿

329
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,940
如果你们强突进来

330
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:21,670
这事儿就完蛋了

331
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,520
我就是这么跟他说的

332
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,280
但是他就尖声怪气地把我说的重复一遍

333
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:26,010
听我说 警长

334
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,850
Boyle和我能一个个把他们解决

335
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,010
没人会受伤

336
00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:30,520
让秃鹰多给我点时间

337
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,750
他会理解的

338
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,250
我在说什么 那可是秃鹰

339
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:36,160
告诉他Tila Tequila在中央公园免费表演

340
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,890
那为什么Tila刚发了张自拍

341
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,930
说她在代托纳比奇听Kid Rock的演唱会

342
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,260
没错我关注了她 你听着

343
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,730
我知道你在耍什么把戏

344
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,560
Jake想表演孤胆英雄 抢我的风头

345
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,030
他在里面 更了解情况

346
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,670
听着 我是指挥官 看看你周围

347
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,670
这些全归我指挥

348
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:55,070
看见你后面那人了吗 那个狙击手

349
00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:57,310
我指谁 他打谁

350
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:58,310
包括你

351
00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,710
- 我才不会  - 好吧

352
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,610
我让他上屋顶 他就得上

353
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,920
嘿 到屋顶上去

354
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,050
就给Jake一个机会

355
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,250
要是他失败了 你就强突进去

356
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:11,060
我给那个小白脸乖乖待着

357
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,690
等我去救他的机会

358
00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:14,590
你告诉他 我是连姆尼森

359
00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:17,060
而他是我又蠢又漂亮的女儿

360
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,760
我们人少而且没武器

361
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,170
要把Gina救出来 我们得先有武器

362
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,930
这地方卖锤子 扳手

363
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,200
这里卖植物吗

364
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,740
因为有些盆栽土壤毒性很强

365
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:27,040
如果吸入量很大的话

366
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:29,980
所以你想喂劫犯吃土吗

367
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,110
暴力喂食

368
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,140
好主意

369
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,610
我会考虑的

370
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:36,220
现在去全副武装起来

371
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,480
悄悄地

372
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,730
背景音乐Onyx - Slam

373
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:05,280
嚯 嚯 嚯

374
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,700
嘿 Matt

375
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,830
啊

376
00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:28,900
只怪你名字太蠢太普通了

377
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:31,100
你们把人质关在哪儿了

378
00:14:31,140 --> 00:14:32,400
你可想知道了吧

379
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,140
加拿大人 不啊

380
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:36,380
你明显应该是德国人

381
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,340
你们有谁是德国人吗

382
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:39,410
俄罗斯人

383
00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:40,780
朝鲜人

384
00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:41,980
希腊人

385
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,420
我信不过希腊人跳舞的样子

386
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,650
没人信得过

387
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,220
你在吗

388
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,450
噢

389
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:50,760
呃 刚才不在 现在肥来惹 唉

390
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,420
在服务通道跟我会合

391
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:55,090
人质这边有情况

392
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:58,500
好滴好滴 尊是糟糕

393
00:14:58,530 --> 00:14:59,530
服务通道

394
00:14:59,570 --> 00:15:01,250
- 演得不错Jake  - 谢了

395
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,500
Peralta发短信给我了 他知道人质在哪儿

396
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:06,910
他让你再等15分钟

397
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,470
我还想让我的百合邻居

398
00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:09,840
更性感点呢

399
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,380
但不可能总是心想就事成 对吧

400
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,110
- 我要下命令强突了  - 嘿

401
00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:16,250
把对讲机还给我 你想干什么

402
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,780
我会毁掉你的工作

403
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:19,250
而你只能去当模特

404
00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:21,150
因为你一身腱子肉

405
00:15:21,190 --> 00:15:22,590
不过我很欣赏

406
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:23,920
把对讲机给我 马上

407
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,990
里面是我的同事

408
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:29,060
你不能强突

409
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,540
- 让开  - 不

410
00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:32,260
你不让开小心我动手

411
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:35,230
嘿 蠢材 从屋顶上下来帮我

412
00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:37,000
从屋顶上下来

413
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,510
我办不到 我是个软蛋 就像你说的一样

414
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,310
我没说过 我也不在乎你下不下水

415
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:44,080
- 说老实话 你觉得我是软蛋  - 我真没这么想

416
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,050
我觉得你有点弱

417
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,180
圣诞节不撒谎

418
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:51,220
Diaz 走吧

419
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:56,990
我觉得他们是德国人

420
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,920
什么 噢
我觉得他们是德国人

421
00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,290
什么 噢

422
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:01,560
噢 你们俩儿

423
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:05,900
警监 Rosa 请听到来自陆地的呼声

424
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:08,570
不不不不不不不不不不

425
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,240
我的天我的天我的天我的天

426
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,740
我的天我的天 噢

427
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,610
啊 欢迎来到冰

428
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,210
闭上你念诗的臭嘴

429
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,840
我真对不起 我才没有

430
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,150
有紧急情况 我们得马上走 赶紧

431
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,950
冷冷冷冷冷冷冷

432
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:34,360
不开火怎么过去

433
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:36,430
我告诉你John McClane会怎么做

434
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:37,700
通风管

435
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,230
啊 关掉空调 他们觉得冷

436
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:41,430
然后出来找毛衣

437
00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,000
不 我们要从上面爬过去

438
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,370
更好 通风管的经典用法

439
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:53,610
没事儿

440
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,620
有事儿了

441
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,720
谁在哪儿 Dave是你吗

442
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:02,450
怎么办 他们知道我们在这了

443
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:05,050
不 他们知道我在这

444
00:17:06,330 --> 00:17:08,860
赶快 藏起来 走走走走

445
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,700
嘿 逗比们 是我 Dave 嘿

446
00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:14,810
不管用

447
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:19,790
Jake Jake Jake

448
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:21,590
- 啊  - 你还好吧

449
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:22,860
我头好疼

450
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:26,330
估计是被打的

451
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,160
- 你怎么样  - 被绑起来了 我都慌了

452
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,130
这家伙连着放了一个小时屁了

453
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:34,200
我说了多少遍 不是我

454
00:17:34,230 --> 00:17:37,600
Ramon 你真的想让一句谎话成为你的遗言吗

455
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,820
这不会是你的遗言 Roman 别担心

456
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:41,340
我们都会没事儿的

457
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:42,410
他们会打通保险箱

458
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,640
拿钱 走人

459
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,180
他们不用打通保险箱

460
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,850
他们有我的卡 他们已经把钱拿完了

461
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,280
什么

462
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,520
那他们带这么多设备来干嘛

463
00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:53,320
你是个警察啊

464
00:17:53,350 --> 00:17:55,560
我恨警察

465
00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,660
- 这就是警察干的  - 漂亮

466
00:17:57,690 --> 00:18:00,790
终于 一个靠谱的反派 这家伙到位

467
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,890
现在我要杀了你

468
00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:03,230
你有点太过了

469
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,430
稍微淡定一点

470
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:06,930
都准备好了

471
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:08,740
好 开始装载吧

472
00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:11,240
我还有一件事儿得办

473
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:14,770
杀一个人不是听起来那么简单的事儿

474
00:18:14,810 --> 00:18:16,080
我杀了10个了

475
00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:17,540
多好的一个整数

476
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:18,950
你不觉得吗 你想想

477
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:23,120
"我杀了11个了" 听起来挺尴尬的

478
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,790
噢

479
00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:30,220
啊呀嘿 混蛋们

480
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:31,960
Boyle 你办到了

481
00:18:31,990 --> 00:18:34,060
不过也把台词给完全糟蹋了

482
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:37,300
- 就是这么说的  - 不 但是你干得不错

483
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:39,870
啊

484
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,030
- 啊  - 好了

485
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,200
我们得阻止那些劫犯

486
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,470
他们要带着赃物逃了

487
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:43,900
怎么可能

488
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:46,340
Terry把外面都包围了

489
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:48,370
钻头 不是用来打开保险箱的

490
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:49,910
是用来钻隧道的

491
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,240
Gina闻到的那些屁味儿

492
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,050
- 嗯哼 Ramon放的屁  - 不是 是下水道味儿

493
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,520
还有Ramon放的屁

494
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,920
我们得告诉Terry他们要从下水道逃跑

495
00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,550
到底要怎么做才能有湿纸巾呢

496
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:00,650
赶紧闭嘴

497
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:05,160
- 圣诞快乐  - 嚯嚯嚯

498
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:06,390
我饿死了

499
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,060
"我饿死了" 我们在抓劫犯好吧

500
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:14,100
Jake 谢天谢地你没事儿

501
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:16,870
哇哦 你真的这么担心我

502
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:18,770
嗯哼 而且你脸好暖和

503
00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:20,470
我觉得我快要体温过低了

504
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,310
警长我们得谈谈

505
00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:27,810
我对秃鹰做的事儿不会惹上麻烦吧

506
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:29,850
你觉得别人会相信是他自己飞进垃圾桶的吗

507
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,020
不会

508
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,750
但这是特殊情况

509
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,220
你临机应变

510
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:35,760
你救了不少人的命

511
00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,060
警队就像我的家人

512
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:39,030
我永远会保护家人

513
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,130
除了Zeke

514
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,890
那个傻大粗能自己管自己

515
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:44,460
不久会有一个晋升测验

516
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,930
我觉得你应该参加

517
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:47,900
向成为警监迈进一步

518
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:50,270
我什么都没干 Jake和Charles才是英雄

519
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:53,270
嗯 像个真正警监说的话

520
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:54,370
还有 你惹麻烦了

521
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:55,880
你停职一星期

522
00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:58,810
但是你未来一片坦荡

523
00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:01,110
但是你得把警徽和枪交给我

524
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:02,520
嘿 兄弟

525
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:04,420
我找不到你想给Amy的古龙水

526
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:07,220
但我找到了峡谷神香礼品装

527
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:10,360
三种味道 还加一瓶身体喷雾

528
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:13,730
- 哇哦 谢了 Charles  - 嗯

529
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,860
听着 Amy的礼物我没忘

530
00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:19,030
我忘了你的礼物

531
00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:20,700
峡谷神香是给你的

532
00:20:20,730 --> 00:20:23,640
啥 你为什么不直接告诉我

533
00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:25,100
喔 因为会让我心碎

534
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:26,210
还毁了我们的友情

535
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,270
明智

536
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,710
这很糟 我太自私了

537
00:20:29,740 --> 00:20:30,880
我应该给你个更好的东西

538
00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:31,910
你给了

539
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:34,080
你牺牲自己保护了我

540
00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:37,220
不止这一个 你还牺牲了你的John McClane时刻

541
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,820
应该是你说 "啊呀嘿 混蛋们"

542
00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:41,920
呃 我知道现在你说什么都在理

543
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:42,990
但我还是好生气

544
00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,020
啊

545
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:46,760
不管怎样 圣诞快乐 兄弟

546
00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:47,930
你也是 兄弟

547
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,270
Gina

548
00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:56,940
嘿 喔呼 喔呼

549
00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:58,810
喔呼 嘿

550
00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,840
嘿 欧

551
00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:03,980
喔喔喔呼

552
00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:07,080
成功了 喷火器成功了

553
00:21:07,110 --> 00:21:08,350
- 耶  - 别 Gina 别

554
00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:09,580
Gina 别

555
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:11,120
来个人把她放倒啊