1
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看过来 美丽的粪球怪们

2
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我手里东西能让你们一饱眼福

3
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未来的出行方式

4
00:00:08,900 --> 00:00:09,600
悬浮板

5
00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:11,100
我搞不懂那些东西

6
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,940
走路对你来说真的那么难吗

7
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,160
噢 Ames 走路就是噩梦

8
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没错 Amy

9
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,240
现在 朋友们

10
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准备吃土吧

11
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好吧 控制起来比我想象中的难

12
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好的 来吧 唔

13
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我想我已经掌握窍门了

14
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不 我没有

15
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哈哈

16
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我很好

17
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不

18
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噢

19
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我成功了

20
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我成功了

21
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你行吗

22
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不 我不行 Terry

23
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别放手

24
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未来的出行方式就在眼前

25
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哇哦

26
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,240
神烦警探 第三季 第十四集

27
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他来了

28
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别来无恙啊 寿星

29
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噢 刚刚是怎么回事

30
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Charles 也许你不应该在警察局里

31
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做这事

32
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然后不好好庆祝你的生日

33
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我宁可去死

34
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做你自己 Boyle

35
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我在做自己

36
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这是什么案子

37
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噢 这不是工作

38
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既然我和你妈妈终于要见面了 这是我做的关于她的调查

39
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非常全面

40
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放轻松 她会喜欢你的

41
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你们两位都是坚强有所成的女性

42
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都见过我裸体

43
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我以前特别擅长和成年人交流

44
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只需一字不差地唱下

45
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然后顺势而为 直到他们去洗澡

46
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但是现在 谁也拿不准

47
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好吧 我接下来要说的话会让你性致盎然

48
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但你一定要努力记住我们还在上班

49
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你想让我考考你吗

50
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噢 天呐 来吧

51
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哇 好的 很好

52
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我妈妈最爱喝的饮料

53
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红酒加冰

54
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美国电影演员 曾获得或奥斯卡最佳女主角奖

55
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最爱聊的话题

56
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美国前总统

57
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还有一些房子的前门很漂亮

58
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英国魅力女星

59
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对面住着一对女同是一件多么酷的事情

60
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很好 干得不错

61
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禁忌话题 我爸爸是怎么离开并毁了我们的生活的

62
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我爸爸是怎么再婚并毁了我们的生活的

63
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我爸爸是怎么搬到加拿大去

64
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- 并毁了我们的生活的  - 你猜怎么着

65
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我还是对你爸爸避而不谈吧

66
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聪明

67
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你没问题的 好吗

68
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她会爱上你的

69
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那是她的牙科记录吗

70
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Gina 你是不是对我们的

71
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"密室逃脱"团队建设游戏特别激动

72
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我跟你说过 长官 更有效率的方式是

73
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整个警队一起去拉斯维加斯 你再给我们每人五千

74
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不 我不懂这有何意义

75
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但是九位同事困在一间封闭的房间里 被迫共同解谜

76
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才能重获自由

77
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我会用那五千块买张布兰妮演唱会的后台票

78
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然后去问她一个问题

79
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你觉得你舞跳得比我好吗

80
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我们不去拉斯维加斯

81
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我们去长岛市 以一种非常有意义的方式培养团队精神

82
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而且这是命令

83
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今晚八点见

84
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今晚

85
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嗯

86
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好的 很好

87
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Jake Jake帅哥

88
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记得我没给你发的

89
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Holt警监搞的"密室逃脱"游戏吗

90
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,000
不知道 而且我去不了

91
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Amy和我要去我妈妈家过生日

92
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成年人是不过生日的

93
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你去年生日的时候骑了匹马来上班

94
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天呐 去掉你 Charles在哪儿

95
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和Rosa Terry一起盯梢呢

96
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警务工作

97
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真是浪费时间

98
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所以Jake不去 Amy不去 Charles不去 Rosa不去 Terry不去

99
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就剩下我和

100
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- 啊哦 - 噢

101
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- 啊  - 啊

102
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噢 老天爷

103
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好的 这就是我们要抓的Tommy Tran出没的场所

104
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在正式行动之前 你们俩随身摄像机打开了吗

105
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你为什么那么关心这东西

106
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就像是你那愚蠢的婴儿事件重演一样

107
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我的宝宝一点都不蠢

108
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Cagney会写小写的"L"

109
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就是条直线 对吧

110
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嗯

111
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听着 我好不容易才把我们弄进这个试点项目中来

112
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随身摄像机很重要

113
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这次实地测试必须万无一失

114
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我要就位了

115
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"就是条直线" 拜托

116
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独特的纽约 独特的纽约

117
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独特的纽约

118
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我特地去上了堂演讲协会的课为晚上做准备

119
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真的吗 不会有事的

120
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我们就吃个晚饭 再吃点甜点

121
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玩玩猜字谜 再聊个半小时

122
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讨论一下她的哪个朋友生病了

123
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:15,340
我们会玩猜字谜

124
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你在倒计时两秒钟的时候才告诉我

125
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好的 电影 书

126
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歌是什么手势 我不知道歌的手势

127
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嗨 寿星

128
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嗨

129
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妈妈 有东西着火了吗

130
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- 对的  - 好

131
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你一定是Amy

132
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让我看看你

133
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好的

134
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那我就看看你这漂亮的前门

135
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- 妈妈 认真的吗 着火了  - 没关系

136
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东西可不像以前那样容易烧坏了

137
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我还是先去灭火吧

138
00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:47,720
好吧 你也知道 这对Diane Keaton来说足够了

139
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:48,800
对我来说也足够了

140
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我超爱她

141
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,000
我是说 她可比不上Jane Seymour

142
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顺便问一句 Jane Seymour在干嘛呢

143
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她在做首饰 很漂亮的首饰

144
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我刚给对面的一对女同买了两枚胸针

145
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妈妈 我一直在说

146
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,760
如果你不收敛一点的话

147
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你会把她们吓跑的

148
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:05,460
这是你口中的Carla

149
00:05:05,820 --> 00:05:06,700
而我选择无视

150
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,980
现在我有了个独臂朋友

151
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我接受批评

152
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,740
噢 应该是你的生日惊喜

153
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,220
你请来了86年大都会队成员

154
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,700
友情提醒 很多人都成了瘾君子

155
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,040
所以可能会有点扫兴

156
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,260
准备好了吗

157
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:22,520
嘿 小子

158
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,160
生日快乐

159
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:27,820
爸爸 你来这儿干嘛

160
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,140
我想给你个惊喜

161
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,260
是啊 我是很惊喜

162
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你居然还记得我的生日

163
00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:35,940
其实 Jake

164
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,820
你父亲和我 呃

165
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,720
正在约会

166
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噢

167
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哇 这真是

168
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,280
这真是太有趣了

169
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:47,380
噢

170
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:52,680
我知道现在不是问问题的时候

171
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,160
但我们在你儿时的卧室里

172
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,560
我确实有个问题

173
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你高中的时候带过鼻环吗

174
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是的 直到我伤口感染差点瞎掉

175
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别告诉别人

176
00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:04,980
没问题 我们的小秘密

177
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,260
我就朝上查看一下我的邮件

178
00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:09,820
没有新邮件

179
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,300
Amy 能专心一点吗

180
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,880
发生了什么事 为什么我爸在和我妈约会

181
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,040
他想要什么

182
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,560
钱吗 但她只是个公立学校的美术老师

183
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这说不通啊

184
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,740
也许那混蛋是想要让她画画

185
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,800
Jake Karen是个成年女人

186
00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:25,740
拥有令人敬佩的信用评分

187
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:27,260
我确定她知道自己在做什么

188
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:28,560
Amy 我知道你有一本关于她的活页夹

189
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:29,720
但你不像我一样了解她

190
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:31,180
她太容易相信别人了 这是为她好

191
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,680
她落入尼日利亚骗局的次数比Scully还多

192
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,940
她被骗了二十次吗

193
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,020
二十次

194
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,700
这太疯狂了

195
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,600
不 她被骗了两次 Scully被骗了二十次

196
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:42,140
对啊

197
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:43,880
听着 好吧 你猜怎么着

198
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:44,900
没关系

199
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,260
这次和以前一样

200
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,520
我必须要保护她

201
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,980
我会下楼去

202
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,840
告诉她我的顾虑

203
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,140
以一种平静理智的方式

204
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,860
你在干吗 妈妈

205
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,380
他很邪恶

206
00:06:56,940 --> 00:06:58,960
真高兴我们能戴着这些酷炫的摄像机

207
00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:00,390
你干嘛用这个声音说话

208
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,190
我是人体摄像机Charles

209
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:03,720
我的声音必须这么屌

210
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,130
万一有人看我们的录像呢 懂吗

211
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,190
啊

212
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,600
哦 我把汤撒到摄像机上了

213
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,370
你为什么要带着汤来监视

214
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,200
哦 不 该死的

215
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,700
摄像机开不了机了

216
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:16,000
我把Fuh汤撒到摄像机上了

217
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,710
你觉得警长会因此而生气吗

218
00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:19,040
一种越南面汤

219
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,140
他一定会生气的

220
00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,310
Fuh汤就是这么念的 我绝不更改

221
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,440
至少在你还在录像的时候

222
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,640
你快去清理一下吧

223
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,480
- 警长 有什么动静吗  - 还没有

224
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,980
我的设定为什么不是个

225
00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:30,450
戴围巾的卧底呢

226
00:07:30,490 --> 00:07:31,920
Terry最讨厌天冷的时候了

227
00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:34,390
等等 目标出现了

228
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,140
看到他了

229
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:37,800
糟了 我觉得他发现我了

230
00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:40,630
他朝餐厅的方向跑了

231
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,330
你跟着 我去小巷后面围住他

232
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,270
里面有人了

233
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,240
呃

234
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,080
啊

235
00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:58,580
- Rosa  - Charles

236
00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:01,620
你裸得真彻底

237
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:05,490
你有权保持沉默

238
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,120
你有权请律师

239
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,430
人都哪去了 Gina

240
00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:13,730
也许这就是今晚的第一个谜题

241
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,560
我忘了发送邀请了

242
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,770
但是我有幸请到了能来的人之中

243
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,270
最聪明最有才的两位

244
00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:21,900
哦 天啊

245
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:23,100
不好意思 我们迟到了

246
00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:24,840
原来前门是推的 不是拉的啊

247
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,170
呃 也许我们应该重新安排下时间

248
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:31,410
你们的任务是在三小时内找到四把锁

249
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:33,050
完成任务即可拯救世界末日

250
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,480
并且离开这个房间

251
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,520
计时开始

252
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,820
呃 现实总是令人清醒

253
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,090
好了 我给你准备了你最爱的蛋糕

254
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,460
- 蓝色的蛋糕  - 我不饿

255
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:48,060
当然了 我只是在表达我的情绪 我会吃蛋糕的

256
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,400
我想我们的客人Amy是不会想

257
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,870
参与讨论我们的家事的 Jake

258
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,470
我们就不能不谈这件事吗

259
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,170
当然可以 或许我们可以谈谈

260
00:08:56,210 --> 00:08:59,370
我们都敬佩的一个人 吉米·卡特总统

261
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:00,980
我一想到伟大的

262
00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,340
你们的关系有多正式 啊

263
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:04,450
你们接吻了吗

264
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:05,750
他留下来过夜了吗

265
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,980
他从机场给你带橘形巧克力了吗

266
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,480
那可是他的杀手锏

267
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,190
Jake 你妈妈和我已经交往

268
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:12,190
三个月了

269
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,190
哦 你知道吗

270
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,020
我想吐到你的脸上

271
00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,560
我知道你很生气

272
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,590
但是我去年来这儿的时候

273
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:22,330
你真的让我明白了我就是个自私的混蛋

274
00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:25,230
你是这一切发生的源头

275
00:09:25,270 --> 00:09:26,930
是啊 但你们交往并不是我的计划啊

276
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,940
我的计划就是让你每隔六个月

277
00:09:28,970 --> 00:09:30,300
给我发条傻乎乎的短信就行了

278
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:31,710
那也行啊 把你的电话号码给我

279
00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:33,240
你连我的号码都没存吗

280
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,740
Jake 听着

281
00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:37,010
我知道你父亲犯的每一个错

282
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:39,750
而且他保证那都是过去的事了

283
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,120
快吹蜡烛吧

284
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,080
哦 太好了

285
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,190
真是好主意 妈妈

286
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:48,060
我吹我的生日蜡烛

287
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,230
我希望你离开

288
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:56,760
该死 我不该说出来的

289
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:57,770
说出来就不灵了

290
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,730
好的 我们有地图

291
00:09:59,770 --> 00:10:02,100
一个食品室 几张床 一张桌子

292
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,400
我们应该从哪开始

293
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,010
你们有什么解迷题的经历吗

294
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,010
有

295
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,240
我的经历就是从没解开任何题

296
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,120
这里写着我们可以问三个问题

297
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,950
- 别啊  - 完了

298
00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:12,550
- 我们如何才能出去  - 不能说

299
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:13,550
- 真的吗  - 真的

300
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,520
够了

301
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,950
不好意思

302
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:18,490
我们三次提问的机会能还给我们吗

303
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:19,490
不能

304
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:20,550
这是你们的第三次提问

305
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:22,120
你们的机会已经用完了

306
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,030
哦 警监 你怎么能这样

307
00:10:26,130 --> 00:10:27,660
嘿

308
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,230
你怎么不下楼去

309
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:31,500
我跟你父母都谈了 大概一个小时了

310
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,300
我搜集的资料已经不够用了

311
00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:35,640
然后我还干了件很奇葩的事

312
00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:40,280
小蜘蛛背着那重重的壳呀

313
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,360
一步一步地

314
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:44,760
那个 你知道最近的火车站在哪吗

315
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,510
我知道我刚才那么做不对

316
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:48,120
但是想想我的感受啊

317
00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:50,350
我那傻缺的父母又搞在一起了

318
00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:53,180
我妈妈觉得她知道我爸爸犯的每一个错

319
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,290
但是她想错了

320
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,020
她根本不知道他劈过腿

321
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,260
他和她的好闺蜜Sheila Bodden搞在了一起

322
00:10:58,290 --> 00:10:59,260
哦 天啊

323
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,430
是的 我看到他们了

324
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,530
他们在我们车库里的车里干羞羞的事

325
00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:06,330
这就是我不能在停在车库的车里做爱的原因

326
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:08,540
这倒是个很详细的性爱难题

327
00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,800
我是说 这事真的伤害到了你吗

328
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,570
呃 我们现在正在车库的车里做爱吗

329
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:15,640
不是 所以 当然伤到我了 还伤得很深

330
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:16,980
我从来没告诉她这件事

331
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,750
因为我不想让她伤心

332
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,120
但是现在我必须使用这招了

333
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:22,820
我要去告诉我爸爸

334
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,580
如果他不做点好事 离开我妈妈

335
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,880
我就要用Sheila的事情炸他了

336
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:29,840
哇

337
00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:33,890
我知道这事很重要 但我还是要问一下

338
00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,830
你高中的时候还戴过这个帽子啊

339
00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:36,930
Amy

340
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,700
只有一个办法能让我和我爸独处

341
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:42,160
你得跟我妈讲你想和她单独说几句话

342
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,840
我跟她不熟啊 我能说什么啊

343
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,740
告诉她你便秘了 需要点泻药

344
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:47,750
什么 才不呢

345
00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:49,080
什么鬼啊 我才不要那么说

346
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,080
好吧 我们的计划就是

347
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,920
我会在玩的时候暗示他

348
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:55,320
我会用我的肢体语言告诉他 我知道了他和Sheila的事

349
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,790
呃

350
00:11:57,820 --> 00:12:00,120
快速的 呃 速度

351
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,200
猜不出来

352
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:05,560
呃

353
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,100
- 猜不出来啊  - 时间到

354
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:08,130
啊

355
00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:12,040
哦

356
00:12:12,070 --> 00:12:13,140
- 我 我不是  - 没 没关系

357
00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,510
没事 我 呃 我

358
00:12:14,540 --> 00:12:16,240
呃 好吧 你怎么会呢

359
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,110
是啊 我怎么会一直都 呃

360
00:12:18,140 --> 00:12:18,740
裸着呢

361
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:19,620
就是啊

362
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,110
听着 兄弟 没人会看那个录像的

363
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:24,550
这个案子很普通 没人会查的

364
00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:26,450
我也不是特别想告诉别人我看到了你的

365
00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:27,450
Elton John的一首歌曲

366
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:28,520
好吧

367
00:12:28,550 --> 00:12:29,650
你爱叫啥叫啥吧

368
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,460
嘿 我到处找你们两个呢

369
00:12:31,490 --> 00:12:33,160
我刚刚和罪犯的律师谈了谈

370
00:12:33,190 --> 00:12:35,490
他说你们在厕所找到的毒品

371
00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:37,160
- 不是他的  - 什么

372
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,160
但是我们都看见他把那些毒品扔到垃圾箱里了

373
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,300
是啊

374
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,270
正常来讲 你们是各持一词 要打官司的

375
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:45,200
但是幸好 你们随身戴着摄像机

376
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,200
是啊 可是关于这个摄像机吧

377
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,310
它记录的也不一定都是客观事实

378
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,110
画面会被伪造 人们经常看起来像裸着

379
00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,780
Boyle 你在说什么啊

380
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:56,650
Boyle在录像里完全是裸着的

381
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,280
为什么啊

382
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:00,620
全部吗

383
00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:01,890
不是 不是

384
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:02,890
不是全部 好的

385
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,260
我不管怎么表演那个羞羞的事

386
00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:06,560
他都不明白

387
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,060
好吧

388
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:09,080
这样的话

389
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,180
只能这样了

390
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,600
嘿 Karen 能单独和你谈谈吗

391
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,960
我有点便秘

392
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:20,070
哦 不用再说了

393
00:13:20,110 --> 00:13:23,170
我有一柜子治便秘的药

394
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:25,140
哇 信息量太大了

395
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,980
谢谢

396
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:30,480
哦 真好玩

397
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,520
谢谢你给我第二次机会 兄弟

398
00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:34,890
第二次机会

399
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,150
你是真的没看明白

400
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,020
我在跟你比划什么嘛

401
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,720
我比划的是你和Sheila Bodden

402
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,430
在车里做的那些羞羞的事

403
00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:42,430
什么 我

404
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:43,890
是的 没错 我都看到了

405
00:13:43,930 --> 00:13:45,300
我看到了你那诡异的老爹屁股

406
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,260
我还看到了她宝石蓝的紧身衣都脱到脚踝了

407
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:49,620
给我留下了人生阴影

408
00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,120
我很抱歉 我 我不知道你看见了

409
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:53,520
是的 我看见了 而且我从来没有告诉妈这件事

410
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,290
但是我发誓 如果你现在不走我会告诉她的

411
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,490
对你应该不难吧 毕竟除了与女人们约炮之外

412
00:13:58,530 --> 00:14:00,730
离开是你最喜欢做的事

413
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,830
你把我想得太花"性"了

414
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:06,230
我只上了 大概 400个女人

415
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:08,730
什么 400个 我的天哪

416
00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:11,350
那很多吗 我的朋友都是飞行员

417
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:13,110
我已经算是平均偏下的水平了

418
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,610
听着 我不想伤害你妈妈

419
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,580
请不要告诉她Sheila的事情

420
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,320
好啊 我不说

421
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:23,610
只要你现在就走

422
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:27,890
该你了 白色恶魔

423
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,390
如果我是对的 这里应该有

424
00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:33,560
一号钥匙

425
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,400
太棒了 快开门

426
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:36,800
我们需要找到四把钥匙

427
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,470
我们花了一半时间才找到这把

428
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,470
因为只有我一个人在干活儿

429
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,640
你们根本毫无用处

430
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:44,830
抱歉 我正忙着思考一个问题

431
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:47,470
为什么一个人只有一张嘴

432
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:49,180
还可以嚼得这么响

433
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:50,180
抱歉

434
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:52,380
你能别踢那个东西了吗 Hitchcock

435
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:53,610
这台电视太混蛋了

436
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:56,480
你得调大概四次 才能该死的换个台

437
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,890
四次

438
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,250
试试把它调到

439
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:05,090
22 18 81 17

440
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,960
猪湾的坐标

441
00:15:09,730 --> 00:15:11,060
这次军事行动

442
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,200
真棒

443
00:15:12,230 --> 00:15:13,330
你把电视弄坏了

444
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,270
不 我找到了另一把钥匙 你个白痴

445
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:18,440
所以一把钥匙在骑士棋子里

446
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:22,210
篮球队是野马队和公马队

447
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,780
我们只需要另外两把钥匙了

448
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:25,310
说不定最后真能成功

449
00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:26,480
我们当然会赢

450
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,020
因为我们是一帮由可悲的臭皮匠

451
00:15:29,050 --> 00:15:32,650
放屁的蠢货 招摇的白痴 组成的超厉害队伍

452
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:35,890
好了 我们都挺好的

453
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,090
生大蒜 治愈一切

454
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:40,460
当然 而且超级美味

455
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,100
嗯

456
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:43,630
你爸去哪儿了

457
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,430
哦 你是说Roger

458
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:47,230
他突然就走了

459
00:15:47,270 --> 00:15:49,770
说着什么"简直太糟了"

460
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,870
- 你对他说了什么 Jake  - 什么

461
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,240
为什么你觉得我说了什么

462
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,490
他就是一个不告而别的混蛋 所以他像混蛋一样不告而别了

463
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:56,380
就是他的行事风格

464
00:15:56,410 --> 00:15:58,110
- 他不是个大恶人  - 呵呵

465
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,710
如果你知道他干过的所有事 你就不会这么说了

466
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,010
他做了什么 Jake

467
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,550
没什么 你知道的 就是一些

468
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,720
非常糟糕的改变人生的事情

469
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,220
别问下去了

470
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:10,160
比他与Sheila Bodden出轨还糟糕吗

471
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,160
啊

472
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,200
你知道这件事

473
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:13,230
对

474
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,600
我知道这件事

475
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:22,970
一只小蜘蛛爬上了水龙头

476
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,390
我不敢相信你知道Sheila那件事

477
00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:28,290
我还知道Wendy

478
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:30,130
还有Bonnie

479
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,460
戴假发的那个Bonnie

480
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,230
她把假发掉在我们卫生间了

481
00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:34,570
我就是这么发现的

482
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:38,240
你还记得你的乌龟Graham Crackers吗

483
00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:39,800
爸和我的乌龟做爱了

484
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,110
不 不不不不 但是他

485
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:42,940
他下床的时候踩到了它

486
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:46,110
但是你说Graham Crackers结婚了 然后与他的妻子搬走了

487
00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:48,480
我怎么一点儿也不知道这些事儿

488
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,850
因为你还是个孩子

489
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,420
孩子通常不会很了解他们的父母

490
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:59,560
Jake 在过去20年里我找了很多男人

491
00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:01,460
- 真的  - 很多

492
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:03,600
好吧 你不用这么刺激我

493
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:05,560
我还没有遇到一个喜欢的人

494
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,500
但我喜欢你爸

495
00:17:07,530 --> 00:17:09,770
我知道他是一个自私的混蛋

496
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,770
但他真的已经变了

497
00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:13,810
上个月我得了支气管炎的时候

498
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:18,040
他在休息日飞过来只是为了给我带汤

499
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,950
虽然是超诡异的加拿大汤

500
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:23,850
我觉得基本上全是奶酪

501
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,780
但是真的很暖心

502
00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:27,890
哦 我觉得自己好蠢

503
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,190
我只是想保护你

504
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:30,990
但是显然我把事情都搅黄了

505
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:35,030
从你还是个孩子的时候你就在保护我

506
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:38,360
有时候我觉得你太擅长这个了

507
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,200
所以你决定成为一名警察来保护所有人

508
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:42,470
这个想法不错

509
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,270
但是我是因为才当警察的

510
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,240
我爱你

511
00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:47,710
我也爱你 妈

512
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:49,240
来抱抱

513
00:17:52,450 --> 00:17:53,850
你知道吗 事实上我裸得

514
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,110
大概没有我记得的那么多

515
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,320
不是的

516
00:17:57,350 --> 00:18:00,320
还有 大概没人能从那么小的电视上看得到

517
00:18:00,350 --> 00:18:01,520
好消息

518
00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:03,350
我们成功搞来了新的平板电视

519
00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:04,990
高清哦 宝贝

520
00:18:05,030 --> 00:18:09,190
法官大人 Tran先生声称他并没有携带毒品

521
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:12,760
幸运的是 我们的警探装备了随身摄像头

522
00:18:13,870 --> 00:18:15,000
这里有人

523
00:18:19,470 --> 00:18:22,270
我认为我们都清楚地看到了就在被捕前

524
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,580
Tran先生把毒品丢进了垃圾桶

525
00:18:24,610 --> 00:18:25,680
至少现在结束了

526
00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:27,710
真的吗 我们怎么知道那就是毒品

527
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:28,850
请倒带

528
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:29,910
不 我反对

529
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:30,950
依据是

530
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,520
那是我的阴茎

531
00:18:32,550 --> 00:18:34,320
驳回

532
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:37,090
嘿 伙计 看看那个 告诉我你看见了什么

533
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,560
一个赤裸的傻瓜

534
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:40,760
不 在大腿之间

535
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:43,800
在蛋蛋下面 那里有一袋可卡因

536
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:46,300
一袋可以让我们定罪

537
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:48,700
还能证明随身摄像头的价值的可卡因

538
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,240
你知道我看见了什么吗 一个赤裸的英雄

539
00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:53,540
没错 警长 谢谢你

540
00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:55,510
现在让我们放大

541
00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:56,770
哎呀 放大过头了

542
00:18:57,810 --> 00:18:59,410
嘿嘿嘿

543
00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:01,380
看看是谁要溜出城了

544
00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:02,750
你让我这样的

545
00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:04,220
没错

546
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:08,210
听着 我跟妈谈了谈 我只想让她幸福

547
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,390
所以现在我们可以回到我的生日派对了吗

548
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,390
我很乐意 儿子

549
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,060
这很棒

550
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,230
如果你搞砸了 在任何方面伤害了她

551
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:21,130
我会让你余生在监狱里度过

552
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:24,400
我能做到 爸 所以不要测试我

553
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,640
好了

554
00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:30,310
我还是蛮喜欢这个拥抱的

555
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,680
虽然你用它来威胁我

556
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:34,750
是啊 嗯

557
00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:37,850
我还蛮喜欢威胁你的 所以

558
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:38,980
走吧

559
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,920
好了 我们找到了第三把钥匙

560
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,920
多亏了Scully

561
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,790
反正我也会吃了那些桃子的

562
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:47,190
就剩一把钥匙了

563
00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:50,090
队员们 现在这间房间里面你们注意到了什么

564
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,300
嗯 我对那个电话很好奇

565
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:54,400
它看上去很适合用来给一个朋友打电话

566
00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:56,870
在他们背后说第三个朋友的坏话

567
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:57,870
有意思

568
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:02,710
拨号音不稳

569
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:03,670
我觉得这是摩斯密码

570
00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:05,190
我懂摩斯密码

571
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:07,680
我爸是朝鲜的战俘

572
00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:09,050
我只能通过这个跟他讲话

573
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,050
闭嘴 谁在意

574
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,820
快点解开这个信息

575
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,220
这是个电话号码

576
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:23,750
哦耶耶耶

577
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,830
准备好了吗

578
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:28,870
一

579
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,200
二

580
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,470
三

581
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:32,470
四

582
00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:41,030
恭喜 我们做到了

583
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,410
我们一起做到了 因为我们是一个团队

584
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,650
下周我们还玩吗 长官

585
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:47,250
不 并不想玩了

586
00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:50,560
嘿 亲爱的

587
00:20:50,590 --> 00:20:52,090
谢谢你把Roger带回来了

588
00:20:52,130 --> 00:20:53,390
不客气

589
00:20:53,430 --> 00:20:56,390
顺便一说 Amy来见你很紧张

590
00:20:56,430 --> 00:20:58,600
所以不要因为诡异的唱歌就觉得她不好

591
00:20:58,630 --> 00:20:59,660
哦 不会的

592
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:01,470
我在跟我混蛋前夫约会

593
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:02,930
我有什么资格评判呢

594
00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:05,900
我觉得她真的很棒

595
00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:09,210
我也觉得你真的很棒

596
00:21:09,590 --> 00:21:11,410
她很擅长读唇语

597
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,650
我不会说我很好啦

598
00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:16,030
聋人才是真正的唇语天才

599
00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:17,910
停不下来啊

600
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,550
我还是让你们继续聊吧 我闭上眼睛好了