1
00:00:00,990 --> 00:00:02,870
嘿 Jake 过来帮我看一下好吗

2
00:00:02,950 --> 00:00:03,520
没问题 哥们儿

3
00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:05,310
我想给Genevieve发一张性感照片

4
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,750
这么看我屁屁翘吗

5
00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:08,040
算了 我后悔了

6
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:12,690
- 这谁  - 不知道

7
00:00:14,630 --> 00:00:17,020
呃 不好意思 这是我的办公桌

8
00:00:17,790 --> 00:00:18,770
喔喔喔

9
00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:19,860
放下 放下武器

10
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,700
别做傻事

11
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:23,640
同志们 这是Adrian Pimento警探

12
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,720
他深入潜伏了十二年

13
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,180
最近刚刚结束 现在要回到99片区

14
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:31,430
简   直

15
00:00:31,810 --> 00:00:33,140
棒呆

16
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,780
神烦警探 第三季 第十七集

17
00:00:53,410 --> 00:00:55,500
你们中有的人是刚刚第一次见Pimento警探

18
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,700
有的则在他去卧底前就认识他了

19
00:00:57,750 --> 00:01:01,170
Hitchcock和Scully 你俩居然还在这儿工作

20
00:01:01,230 --> 00:01:03,840
他们摆脱我们的唯一方式就是把我们装进运尸袋

21
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:06,780
其实他们真装过一次 但那次只是虚惊一场

22
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:09,310
Pimento警探会回到他原来的办公桌工作

23
00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:11,710
Peralta暂时搬去休息室

24
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:12,380
有问题吗

25
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,240
你卧底的时候是干什么的

26
00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:14,600
我替 "屠夫" Jimmy Figgis干活

27
00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:17,870
他可是A级犯罪团伙成员 把那里的一切都告诉我

28
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所有人都闭嘴

29
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我基本上就是替他收钱

30
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不过 也干点别的啦

31
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我们一般都会讲搞笑的事儿

32
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但是我替屠夫做的事一点都不搞笑

33
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:37,730
我必须要学会不眨眼

34
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:40,740
因为每次我一闭眼 我眼前都是一片恐怖景象

35
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哇哦 重口

36
00:01:41,540 --> 00:01:42,910
可是你怎么能保持眼睛湿润呢

37
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,780
其实关于保持眼睛湿润

38
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我有一个很好笑的故事

39
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很搞笑吧

40
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:56,200
并没有

41
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:57,640
还是没懂你的笑点

42
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:58,830
- 真的吗  - 嗯嗯

43
00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,850
我会继续努力的 同志们 是我的错

44
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:01,630
解散

45
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,440
长官

46
00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,880
我可以让Pimento跟我一起跟进破门侵入案吗

47
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:07,970
他真的棒呆了

48
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:09,580
他简直就是现实版的

49
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,610
不是结局很惨吗

50
00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:13,910
对 但是他有那件很酷的夹克

51
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:15,180
而且总是在码头

52
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:16,740
我不确定我想不想让你跟Pimento一起工作

53
00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:17,910
他有点情绪不稳定

54
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:20,800
破机器

55
00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:24,240
在他的心理上 这是一个艰难的过渡期

56
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,750
我懂的 我也做了63天卧底

57
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,820
没什么大不了的 你可能忘了

58
00:02:27,870 --> 00:02:29,440
怎么可能忘得了这就是你的语音信箱留言

59
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嘿 我是Jake

60
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暂时不能接电话

61
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:35,240
我可能又要去卧底了 就像上次去卧底了63天一样

62
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,860
拜拜

63
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,610
听着 我知道他现在在经历什么

64
00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:40,850
让我来引领他走出黑暗吧

65
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:42,870
好吧 他可以和你一起跟进破门侵入案

66
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,600
但是你一定要淡定

67
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,320
呃 长官 我今早迟到了20分钟

68
00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:49,630
你用不着提醒我要淡定

69
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,590
你是在吹嘘自己是一个不称职的员工吗

70
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:54,310
不是

71
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,000
解散了我

72
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:59,330
我想出了一个好方法来

73
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欢迎Pimento重回99区

74
00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:03,840
不要碍他的事 或许可以请他喝东西

75
00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:05,520
但是不要做奇怪的事

76
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,230
我正在给他炖山羊肉

77
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,100
呃 好吧

78
00:03:09,150 --> 00:03:11,800
这是一道土库曼斯坦传统菜

79
00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:15,250
里面的肉用的是那种肥到站不起来的

80
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,870
山羊身上的

81
00:03:17,470 --> 00:03:18,430
简直是我的梦想啊

82
00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:19,950
这些都是有根据的

83
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,880
我甚至还从土库曼斯坦

84
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,930
订了一个高压锅

85
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,200
所以你现在上了恐怖分子监视名单咯

86
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:26,280
没错 国土安全局的人已经去过我家了

87
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:30,030
现在 只需要再炖11个小时32分钟

88
00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:30,750
再加6

89
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,280
搞什么鬼 Boyle 你差点杀了我

90
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,720
我才不要在炖羊肉事故中挂掉

91
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,800
Terry要为总统护驾而死

92
00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:43,720
不然老子就要永生不死

93
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,520
我们不可能自己把这里打扫干净

94
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,870
我们需要帮助

95
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,560
不不不不不

96
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:50,600
你什么意思

97
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,480
你知道她什么意思

98
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:53,980
噢 不

99
00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:56,280
要去找刻薄Marge了

100
00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:58,700
所以每次你的小肥指头一打响指

101
00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:00,770
我们都得跑去给你收拾烂摊子吗

102
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,440
不不  其实我不会打响指

103
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:03,400
因为我的指头一直都很湿

104
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,230
我觉得 因为这是你们的工作

105
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:05,950
我懂了

106
00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:09,320
你们这些警察都认为自己逼格高所以不用打扫是吧

107
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,080
不是 我可以自己打扫 我会

108
00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:12,560
这是工会的工作

109
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,930
你好大的胆子居然敢抢我们的工作

110
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,740
那我们下一步怎么办

111
00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,040
有句谚语说得好

112
00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:22,530
"通厕所的最好办法就是让它堵着吧"

113
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:25,000
你是清洁人员 你知道这是不对的吧

114
00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:26,950
伙计们 去把垃圾倒了

115
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,150
太棒了 所以你会帮我们清理啦

116
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:29,980
噢 我就是垃圾 我懂了

117
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,340
难怪你的语气是那样

118
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:34,590
哎呀 爱你哦 Marge

119
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,800
长官 你要见我

120
00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:38,320
对 我有一个特殊任务给你

121
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好哒 不过我得跟你说

122
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,650
我只坐头等舱

123
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,920
并没有要你坐飞机去哪儿的意思

124
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,470
我向M.C. Guffin基金会申请

125
00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:47,400
拨款来升级我们办公室的设备

126
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:50,190
不幸的是他们要求提交一个视频

127
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我知道你之前有过视频制作的经历

128
00:04:52,340 --> 00:04:54,930
那必须 我的视频在Vine上可是被卡戴珊弟弟转发过的

129
00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:56,630
所以 是的 我是个导演

130
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:57,960
这是我的想法

131
00:04:58,030 --> 00:05:01,230
我以费里尼风格的装束入场

132
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:03,040
Rosa则打扮成豪猪

133
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:04,670
不不 我们一切从简

134
00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:06,670
直接展示一下我们片区

135
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,150
我和Diaz警探主演

136
00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:09,150
你确定吗

137
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,500
你们俩的荧幕形象都不是很有活力啊

138
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,810
我可以很有活力

139
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:15,100
感叹号

140
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,550
Diaz和我很有默契

141
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:19,320
- 我们可以补充完对方的  - 话

142
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,620
请不要打断我

143
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,650
这种无稽之谈是不会出现在镜头上的

144
00:05:24,510 --> 00:05:25,750
嘿 嘿 Pimento

145
00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:26,740
嘿

146
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,540
这是我的办工桌 懂了吗

147
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,870
好吧 这种打招呼的方式有点不同寻常

148
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,410
我只是来告诉你

149
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,090
我们会一起跟进一桩破门侵入案

150
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:36,120
我们要成为搭档了

151
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,660
不 我都是单独行动的

152
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:40,210
而且"屠夫"说过他在纽约警局有间谍

153
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,460
所以我不会相信这里的娘炮

154
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,240
听着 你可以信任我

155
00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:46,360
- 哥迷恋你  - 好吧

156
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,590
告诉我一件你从未告诉过别人的秘密

157
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,350
呃

158
00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:51,600
噢 有一个

159
00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:54,820
我举不起饮水机的水桶

160
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:56,510
所以我总是想方设法地让Terry举

161
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,310
我也有一个秘密

162
00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,120
"屠夫" Jimmy曾经让我把槌球的门

163
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:01,650
从一个人的眼睛那里穿进大脑里

164
00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:05,240
他的脑浆从眼睛里流出来 就像在流眼泪一样

165
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,640
我的天哪

166
00:06:07,870 --> 00:06:08,880
听过你的秘密以后

167
00:06:08,930 --> 00:06:09,920
我觉得我应该把我举不起饮水机水桶

168
00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:11,640
这件事编的更有料一点的 但是

169
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:14,060
不 那样对你来说才是尴尬

170
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,670
你现在就是我兄弟了

171
00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:19,420
能够再次信任别人的感觉真好 兄弟

172
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,560
哇哦 你要么是个半机械人

173
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,220
要么就是你这衣服里装的武器太多了

174
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,690
嘿 去厨房 现在

175
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,700
好的

176
00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:28,990
怎么了

177
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,620
那家伙不太对劲

178
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,550
为啥 就因为他一直在片区里

179
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,740
威胁要弄死我 拜托 成熟一点好吗

180
00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:36,180
因为我居然对他有性趣

181
00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:37,480
这难道是件坏事

182
00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:40,580
我只对变态有性趣 比如 "秃鹫"  ShamWow广告代言人

183
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:41,260
我小的时候

184
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,770
还特别喜欢小魔怪里的邪恶精灵

185
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:44,610
你指Stripe 你疯了吗

186
00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:45,890
对 反正我不会和善良小精灵Gizmo上床

187
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,750
- 我就会  - 小心点Pimento

188
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:50,460
不会有事的

189
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,650
你好啊搭档

190
00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,300
我一直在等你

191
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,790
如果吓到你了我很抱歉

192
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,660
只是我做卧底时 只有在半夜的时候

193
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,490
我才可以做警察的工作

194
00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:07,610
你是怎么进来的

195
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:08,600
哦 很简单

196
00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:10,540
我勾引了楼上的老太太

197
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,330
从防火梯那里下来 然后撬开了窗户

198
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:15,940
呯嗙嘭 我就进来了

199
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:16,920
确实是

200
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:19,810
当然 下次你可以给我打个电话 你知道的

201
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,660
拜访朋友有两种方法

202
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:22,990
我没杀掉楼上的老太太

203
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:23,860
如果你是担心这个的话

204
00:07:23,930 --> 00:07:25,100
好吧 我现在担心了

205
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,320
噢 等一下

206
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:27,720
你觉得我很奇怪

207
00:07:28,510 --> 00:07:30,500
天啊 我不应该来的 这是你的公寓

208
00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:34,220
我太抱歉了Jake Paul你真蠢

209
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,300
笨蛋 你个白痴 Paul

210
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,760
- 嘿 Pimento  - 啊

211
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,460
- Paul是谁  - 哇哦

212
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:41,690
Paul Sneed是我卧底时的名字

213
00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:43,440
好吧 妈的 Jake

214
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:44,920
我再也不知道我是谁了

215
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:46,540
你卧底时候能随意选名字

216
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:47,470
结果你选了Paul Sneed吗

217
00:07:47,530 --> 00:07:48,250
听起来挺疯狂的

218
00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:49,330
我不该来的

219
00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:50,430
这是一个错误 我还没准备好

220
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,160
我早就知道我还没准备好重新当一名警察

221
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,630
除了在大西洋城和克林顿城角落里的超市装袋以外

222
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:57,950
当警察是我唯一做过的工作了

223
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,040
我想我还是回去装袋去吧

224
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,600
"纸袋还是塑料袋呢"

225
00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:03,120
还掌握着这门技能呢

226
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,040
听我说 我也当过卧底

227
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:08,430
和黑手党待了63天 我看到过很糟糕的事

228
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:10,540
我知道你在挣扎什么

229
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:12,960
我能帮你从那段经历中恢复过来 但你必须要相信我

230
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,700
好 行

231
00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:19,680
很好 现在我必须要睡一会儿

232
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,150
如果你愿意的话 你可以留在这 办办案子

233
00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:23,190
谢谢 搭档

234
00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:25,880
我保证一点都不会打扰到你

235
00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:29,460
哼

236
00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:33,440
哈

237
00:08:33,490 --> 00:08:34,780
- 嘿 Pimento  - 啊

238
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:37,080
我以为你就是看看文件什么的

239
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:37,920
抱歉 兄弟

240
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,970
太极能抑制心中的恶魔

241
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:40,720
好吧

242
00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:43,060
而且

243
00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:44,640
你非要穿着内裤打太极吗

244
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,810
我不能脱下来

245
00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:48,750
因为那样的话你就会直直地看到我的丁丁和蛋蛋了

246
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,630
这个逻辑倒是无法反驳 好吧

247
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:56,350
为什么这里有这么多垃圾

248
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,740
刻薄Marge不想清理炖菜

249
00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:01,290
而且还不给我们倒垃圾了

250
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,320
发生啥了

251
00:09:02,730 --> 00:09:04,050
你还不够卑躬屈膝是吧

252
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,010
真的吗 Amy 你质疑我Charles Boyle

253
00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:09,130
有没有足够卑躬屈膝  拜托

254
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,760
这是我见过的最恶心的地方

255
00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:12,530
而且我还有三个四岁以下的孩子呢

256
00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:14,140
我就住在鼻涕和口水里面

257
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:15,880
听着 我有个计划

258
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,720
我们就越过刻薄Marge

259
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:18,770
直接告诉Holt

260
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:19,360
告诉我什么

261
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,310
噢 好吧 我不知道你有没有注意到

262
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:23,380
昨天休息室发生了一场意外

263
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,850
噢 是的 碎玻璃和随处可见的骨头

264
00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:29,710
非常有70年代的纽约范儿 收拾干净

265
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,860
问题是

266
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,260
管理处的Marge拒绝帮助我们

267
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,650
我们希望你能和她谈一下

268
00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:38,580
什么

269
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:40,600
我是这个片区的警监

270
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:43,430
我没时间处理你们这些鸡毛蒜皮的小事

271
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:46,470
我发过神圣的誓要保护这个社区

272
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:49,110
那才是需要我认真对待的工作

273
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:50,470
所以你也怕她是吗

274
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:51,340
怕得不行

275
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,720
嗯 罪犯知道摄像头的位置

276
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,330
肯定之前就踩过点了

277
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,970
我们需要你们过去一周的监控录像

278
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:03,820
哈哈哈 这太业余了

279
00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:05,770
所有人都知道你得在店主在的时候闯进来

280
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,640
那样的话你就能确保能打开保险箱

281
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,250
而且你能踢掉他的牙以传达信息

282
00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:10,840
好吧 为什么你不

283
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:12,330
喔 没错 你能割了他的喉咙 但是接下来

284
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:13,560
你要怎么处理那些血呢

285
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:16,830
额 我们就把血留在他的身体里 就是血液生活的地方

286
00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:17,800
因为我们是警察

287
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,080
没错 我们是警察 不要担心 先生

288
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,650
我们会抓住这些混蛋的

289
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:24,290
- 要不然我就不叫Paul Sneed  - Adrian Pimento

290
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,680
Adrian Pimento 所以 他们拿走了什么

291
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,700
大约15000美元的东西

292
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:31,420
电视 相机 一些预付费的手机

293
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:33,260
噢 你卖一次性电话吗

294
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,100
你卖的一次性电话有什么样的优惠套餐

295
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,320
你为什么想知道这些

296
00:10:36,350 --> 00:10:38,560
就是为了案件收集证据

297
00:10:38,590 --> 00:10:40,120
因为我是一名警察 记得吗

298
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,660
- Paul Sneed警探  - Adrian Pimento

299
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:46,640
Adrian Piment  我知道我是谁 你知道吗 别管这些了

300
00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:47,420
啊 好吧

301
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,090
嘿 嘿 嘿 别这样 兄弟

302
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,470
听着 我懂 你还很紧张

303
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,400
当我从卧底任务中退出来的时候

304
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:58,810
他们让我去看心理医生

305
00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:00,940
然后他和我说我有恋父情结 然后我就说

306
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,240
"知道吗 你不能告诉我要做什么

307
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,010
你又不是我爹" 所以他是个白痴

308
00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:05,950
不 你知道吗 这建议真棒 谢谢朋友 谢谢你

309
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,870
我 我马上就回来 我有东西落在里面了

310
00:11:11,140 --> 00:11:12,500
嘿 给我来一个

311
00:11:13,570 --> 00:11:15,600
为什么你要买一次性手机

312
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,840
制烟机上

313
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,430
然后 开始 Holt出场

314
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,740
欢迎来到99片区 我是Raymond Holt警监

315
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,860
我是Rosa Diaz警探

316
00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:29,540
我不知道我为什么要坐在轮椅上

317
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:30,250
卡

318
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:34,450
我再说最后一遍 Rosa 通过特效

319
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,910
轮椅就会变成一匹马

320
00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:39,020
但我需要你配合我

321
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:41,520
给我几句 "驾" "驾"

322
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,570
这太蠢了

323
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,700
可能是因为你没有按剧本上说的一样

324
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,690
用空手道从烟里劈出一条路来

325
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,000
我不干了 Scully

326
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:49,150
Rosa

327
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,130
驾 驾

328
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,620
我想要一个简单明了的

329
00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:53,600
关于我们片区的视频介绍

330
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,950
而你加了一种我不喜欢的东西

331
00:11:56,670 --> 00:11:57,460
激情

332
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,900
姐就是激情的代名词啊

333
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,820
你会让天空别那么蓝吗

334
00:12:02,870 --> 00:12:04,580
- 会 我希望天空是褐色  - 啥

335
00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:06,880
那是我最喜欢的颜色  我没有在胡说

336
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,840
嘿 我在跟踪Pimento

337
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:10,540
我觉得你说的是对的

338
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:12,110
他这人身上有些奇怪的地方

339
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,720
我就知道 啊

340
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,310
真不敢相信我要和他睡觉了

341
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,650
你可以不用这么做

342
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:18,960
不 我要

343
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,130
他偷偷地买了一次性电话

344
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,220
他闯进了我的公寓

345
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,640
而且他一直忘记他是个警察

346
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,820
还叫他自己的化名 Paul Sneed

347
00:12:25,930 --> 00:12:26,700
Paul Sneed吗

348
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:28,630
他说Figgis安插了间谍在纽约警局里面

349
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:30,910
Rosa 万一他就是其中一个间谍怎么办 他叛变了怎么办

350
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,330
噢 他来了

351
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,440
天啊 断线钳

352
00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:36,710
说真的 没有一个清白的人

353
00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:38,240
会用断线钳

354
00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:39,860
我做首饰的时候一直用断线钳啊

355
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:41,310
啥 哦我的天啊

356
00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:42,510
等下再跟进你这个问题

357
00:12:42,590 --> 00:12:43,730
好了 我要继续跟踪他了

358
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,220
好 但是小心一点

359
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,820
噢 别担心我 我会隐形的

360
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,150
现在你看到我了 现在你

361
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,560
我这边没事 没事

362
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,890
一切正常 他没听到我 没事

363
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:07,220
Rosa

364
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:08,760
Pimento刚刚戴上了滑雪面罩

365
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:10,560
然后潜进了一个吓人的废弃仓库里

366
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:11,610
嗯 这太性感了

367
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,300
是吗

368
00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:14,210
噢 等下 他又出来了

369
00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:15,690
他有没有做什么特别可疑的事情

370
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:16,910
他的眼神是不是很狂野

371
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,510
- Rosa 集中注意力  - 抱歉

372
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:19,790
发张照片来 拜拜

373
00:13:20,390 --> 00:13:21,960
好的 我猜我们聊完了

374
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,210
他们还是没清理这里面

375
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:29,890
但是好消息是我又有了一个新计划

376
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,530
我会让一个罪犯意外地挣脱监管

377
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,990
然后我在休息室里抓住他

378
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,160
天哪 现在这就变成了一个犯罪现场

379
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,390
然后我们就能叫犯罪现场清理员了

380
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:41,380
- 砰  - 别这么急

381
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,730
我说清理那个屋子 那个屋子才能被清理

382
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,460
现在你阻止不了我们

383
00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:47,040
你听过那句谚语吗

384
00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,770
"从垃圾里就能了解一个人"

385
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:50,960
这根本就不是谚语

386
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,050
不 那就是 我知道你们全部的秘密

387
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,290
Boyle

388
00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:57,300
你常吃快餐

389
00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,210
那些才不是我的呢

390
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:00,850
我只吃本地产的肉

391
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:02,440
它们可能是Terry吃的 他以前很胖的 你知道吗

392
00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:03,800
有没有搞错啊 Bolye

393
00:14:03,850 --> 00:14:04,970
说到Jeffords

394
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:06,930
也许你女儿会想知道

395
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:09,520
她们的爸爸把她们的画都给扔了

396
00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,880
她们画太多而且都不好看啊

397
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,820
还有你 Santiago

398
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,650
也许我应该让大家看看你备忘录的草稿

399
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:20,110
你把 there 拼成 their

400
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,880
你这个贱人

401
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,230
为什么你这么恨我们

402
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,040
我知道你们叫我刻薄Marge

403
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:26,880
你们知道我姓什么吗

404
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,580
- "拖把桶"吗  - Scully 别猜了

405
00:14:31,290 --> 00:14:32,450
- 拜托了  - 别走

406
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,050
嘿嘿嘿大家别走啊

407
00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:36,360
"拖把桶" Scully你在逗我吗

408
00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:38,420
我的推测是有根据的

409
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:41,920
谢谢你赶来

410
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,330
Pimento把行李包放在后备箱里 把车停在角落就回家了

411
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:46,040
然后他就一直光着身子打太极

412
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,040
就在窗户旁

413
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:48,060
哪个窗户

414
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,130
- 嗯嗯  - 好吧

415
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:55,020
听着 我得去查看一下那个后备箱

416
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,530
你需要我帮你把那辆车打开吗

417
00:14:56,610 --> 00:14:57,810
什么 不不不我可以的

418
00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:58,560
你为什么这么说

419
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,060
因为有一次你丢了车钥匙 你竟然叫了辆拖车来

420
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:03,050
我妈会付道路救援的钱啊

421
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,520
为什么我不叫拖车 放着我来

422
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:12,530
这次拍的很棒 你们终于掌握到诀窍了

423
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:16,210
我们再拍一条 开始 Holt出场

424
00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:22,280
欢迎来到九九片区 我是Raymond Holt警监

425
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,840
我是Rosa Diaz警探

426
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:26,960
这都是什么啊

427
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:30,120
你的表演没有活力 所以我们重新选角了 亲爱的

428
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,480
欢迎来到好莱坞

429
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,220
David和他的角色非常有共鸣

430
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,840
秘诀就在为你的角色创造一个背景故事

431
00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:40,560
我演的Raymond Holt对药物上瘾 可是没人知道

432
00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:44,400
你看吧 他真的很懂这些技巧

433
00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:47,530
相比之下你和Rosa就有点糟糕

434
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,490
就像一对无聊的普通人

435
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:50,980
我很抱歉  但是我们是警探

436
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:52,670
不是专业演员

437
00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,120
我们已经尽最大努力了

438
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,930
- "我们已经尽最大努力了"  - 别学我

439
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,440
Gina 这太不像话了 我决定不让你继续当导演了

440
00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:02,020
他就这样走了

441
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,930
去嗑更多的药

442
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:05,970
成功了

443
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:08,280
再见了 道路救援

444
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:09,880
唷唷唷

445
00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:11,420
你好啊 Jake

446
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,770
Adrian 这么巧我们居然偶遇了呢

447
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,760
明天再见吧

448
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,370
嘿 不如我们逛逛吧

449
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,400
我也完全是这么想的呢

450
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:21,130
搭档 你在这做什么呢

451
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,500
Pimento还在窗户旁

452
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,630
拜托 Jake

453
00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:25,940
你怎么都没猜到我会雇一个长得像我的人

454
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,370
带着假胡子在我窗口打太极

455
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:30,170
我真的百分百没猜到

456
00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:31,790
还有 你不会真的觉得那是我吧

457
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:33,390
你可是看过我穿内衣的样子啊

458
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,220
我的屁股完全是硬邦邦的

459
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,600
那个人的屁股松垮垮的

460
00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:38,350
我真不敢相信你还在为Figgis跑腿

461
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,970
所以你行为才这么奇怪

462
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:42,480
闯进我的公寓 买一次性手机

463
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,560
拿着这个行李包

464
00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,630
我闯进你的公寓是因为在我家我感觉不安全

465
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:46,160
好吧

466
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:47,980
而且我只能买到一次性手机

467
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,570
因为我消失了12年

468
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:51,630
- 现在我的信用特别差  - 有道理

469
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:52,940
你想知道这个行李包里有什么是吗

470
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:54,820
打开啊 硬汉

471
00:16:57,130 --> 00:16:58,920
噢 看啊

472
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:02,450
一堆的以前的家庭照片和个人物品呢

473
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:04,090
Pimento的纪念品哦

474
00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:05,240
我知道你正拿着枪指着我

475
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,090
可是真的好押韵我忍不住 不好意思

476
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,280
我成为Paul Sneed后就把这一切都藏起来了

477
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,600
我不能让他们找到任何这些东西

478
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:11,850
然后由此找到我的家人

479
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,210
我懂你的 好吗

480
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:15,160
我也经历了一样的事 当我回来的时候

481
00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:16,940
你根本不懂我经历了什么

482
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:18,780
你知道吗

483
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:21,600
我真不敢相信我之前那么信任你

484
00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:24,240
好吧

485
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,140
你走吧 Jake

486
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,070
天哪 这个家伙的屁股松垮垮的

487
00:17:29,270 --> 00:17:30,670
这不是Pimento 快离开那里 Jake

488
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:32,420
多谢了 Rosa

489
00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:37,210
Pimento警探今天没来上班

490
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,090
你知道为什么吗

491
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,180
噢是的 我把他赶走了

492
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:41,620
完全是我搞砸了

493
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,990
我正在尝试这个新鲜事 承认自己的错误

494
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,590
- 我挺喜欢的 你呢  - 我本来也是

495
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,760
- 直到你开始炫耀  - 好吧

496
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,370
Pimento把他的枪和警徽留在我桌上

497
00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:50,990
附着一张纸条说 "我做不了这个"

498
00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:52,830
我还是做打包员（收赃款的）更好

499
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,030
哦不

500
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,580
你觉得他又回去给Figgis跑腿了吗

501
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,570
比这更糟

502
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,220
行 都装在一个袋子里

503
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,410
明年的今天就是你的忌日 你这个贱人

504
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,700
赶快滚吧

505
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:03,640
白痴

506
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,140
嗨 搭档

507
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,650
打包员没有搭档

508
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,050
事实上 收银员和打包员

509
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,290
需要完全同步

510
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,660
闭嘴 Maggie

511
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:14,140
兄弟 你把12年光阴都奉献给警察局

512
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,020
你是个英雄

513
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,840
很抱歉我没有相信你

514
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,430
我也是

515
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,660
我可以告诉你一个我从没跟任何人说过的事吗

516
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:28,040
我在黑手党做卧底的那段时间其实挺逊的

517
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,340
我本想很狂拽酷炫的 但是

518
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,650
我对电脑在行 所以我基本上都在帮他们

519
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,350
换个邮箱什么的

520
00:18:34,810 --> 00:18:36,800
我不懂你都经历了什么

521
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,860
我想告诉你一切都会恢复正常的

522
00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:41,440
但说真的 我也不知道

523
00:18:44,370 --> 00:18:46,960
无论如何 那个破门侵入的监控录像收到了

524
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,810
我们有了一个嫌疑犯

525
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:50,010
我现在就要去搜捕他 你要一起来吗

526
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:53,720
把那些鸡蛋给我吧

527
00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:55,230
我把它放在最上面

528
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,280
好吧

529
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,890
什么事儿啊 你身上发生了什么

530
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:01,330
Maggie 少管闲事

531
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,070
好吗 这是我的生活

532
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:05,070
我刚刚收到消息

533
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,590
我在Guffin基金会的朋友说的

534
00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:09,040
显然他们非常喜欢我们提交的视频

535
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:09,980
你发送给他们什么了

536
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:12,610
我发了一个银幕杰作

537
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:14,080
充满活力吗

538
00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:15,650
不 完全不是 长官

539
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:18,460
一开始 我走了点弯路

540
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,790
然后我顿悟了

541
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:22,440
你知道网上哪种狗狗会得到最多的赞吗

542
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:23,760
安纳托利亚牧羊犬

543
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,280
不 是发育不完全的丑丑的小矮狗

544
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:30,270
眼神呆滞 舌头伸在嘴巴外面

545
00:19:30,330 --> 00:19:31,390
但是安纳托利亚牧羊犬

546
00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:33,130
在保护牲畜方面是无敌的

547
00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:34,780
我想要让他们惊艳到

548
00:19:34,850 --> 00:19:37,560
那我应该向他们展示我们可怜的呆滞眼神

549
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,540
我们已经尽最大的努力了 但这是我们的耻辱

550
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:45,710
耻辱 耻辱

551
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,400
帮助我们 停止这一切

552
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:52,690
这是原本的音频 用的是你非常真实的崩溃时的声音

553
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,650
看来你最终还是能成为一个杰出的演员的

554
00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:57,250
好样的Linetti

555
00:19:57,390 --> 00:19:58,300
Linetti警长

556
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,510
我让假Holt帮我升职了

557
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,050
他签署了文件还有一切手续

558
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,260
你们想要干什么

559
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:08,090
我们来是想告诉你我们会正式把四楼休息室改名为

560
00:20:08,170 --> 00:20:12,200
Marge Bronigan休息室

561
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,240
好吧

562
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:16,400
看来有人做了功课

563
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:17,440
是我 我做的

564
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:18,860
那条件是什么

565
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,820
仪式在两小时后开始

566
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:23,610
我知道我们小队不是清洁工工会成员

567
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,880
但是如果能让我们在那之前帮你们

568
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:27,380
把那儿打扫干净 那就太好了

569
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:30,880
我们把炖羊肉都打扫干净了

570
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:36,320
意味着Marge Bronigan休息室正式成立了

571
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:39,550
好吧 我们会帮你们清理垃圾 做日常的清洁

572
00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:40,960
但你们最好别弄出大乱子来

573
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:42,830
太棒啦 命名典礼开始

574
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:47,820
哦 糟了

575
00:20:52,330 --> 00:20:53,460
恭喜啦

576
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,080
嫌疑犯在三楼 每个人都知道自己的任务了吧

577
00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:58,600
介意我加入你们吗

578
00:20:58,650 --> 00:20:59,560
Pimento

579
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:00,830
我考虑过了

580
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,920
如果你说一切都会恢复正常

581
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:04,180
那我相信你

582
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,640
好的 我们开始吧

583
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:09,060
你和我一起 搭档

584
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,600
纽约警察局 你被捕了

585
00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:14,400
你要死了

586
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,200
不Pimento 不要啊