2
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嗨嗨嗨 今天是一年中最棒的一天

3
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:05,150
五月五日节快乐

4
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:05,150
五月五日节 墨西哥的地区性节日 是为庆祝墨西哥军队击败法国殖民军而设立的


6
00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:07,040
Hitchcock 你没被允许穿斗篷来上班吧

7
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,850
狂欢起来吧


9
00:00:10,850 --> 00:00:11,980
哦 你还请了乐队

10
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,460
停 停 不准有小号


12
00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:18,290
今天不行 我头痛死了

13
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,030
早早喝了龙舌兰吧 哈


15
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,340
Hitchcock 我没有宿醉 我这是压力导致的头痛

16
00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:23,600
我今晚有警督考试

17
00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,340
我已经像疯了一样化压力为食欲了

18
00:00:25,390 --> 00:00:27,610
就今天早上 我已经吃了十个煮熟的蛋黄了

19
00:00:27,650 --> 00:00:28,160
太恶心了

20
00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:30,700
你这是高程度的考前崩溃时间

21
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:33,130
我也有这样的经历 在2001年3月13日那天

22
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:34,350
AP微积分考试

23
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,700
Ames 我不想打断你

24
00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:36,930
但是我们都知道这个故事会如何发展

25
00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:37,380
哦 是吗

26
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,130
你知道我在考试中途拉在自己裤子上了吗

27
00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:41,880
天啦 没有 我以为你要说

28
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,010
你只得了B加啥的呢

29
00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:44,750
- 更像是得了BM(排便)  - 棒

30
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,630
得了吧 现在Terry担心他的考试和他的肠胃了

31
00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,370
警长 你现在需要的是转移你的注意力

32
00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:53,460
全国公共广播电台有个关于艾琳·穆恩·梅耶斯的六小时访谈

33
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,400
没人知道她是谁

34
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,680
没人知道纽约爱乐乐团的首席大提琴手吗

35
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:58,760
行吧

36
00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:01,120
等等 我知道了 我知道怎么让Terry分心了

37
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,510
警监 还记得你为什么取消上一次的万圣节抢夺战吗

38
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,690
因为有一处紧急天然气管道爆炸

39
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,300
你说我们必须去"帮忙"

40
00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,700
是的 我也记得

41
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,650
你不相信那是真的爆炸

42
00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:12,390
伙计 回表演学校再修炼一下吧

43
00:01:12,430 --> 00:01:14,440
你有点夸大你的疼痛了

44
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,740
没人会买账的

45
00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:18,570
对 但并不是只有我一个人觉得那是假的

46
00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:21,790
奥斯卡得主就是 Trent

47
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:26,020
你说我们应该把抢夺战安排到其他的日子

48
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:29,030
所以今天怎么样 帮Terry分心

49
00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:31,040
对 而且我很乐意卫冕

50
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,710
自从我去年了碾压你们所有人

51
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,720
呃 我觉得 求婚是我计划的一部分吧

52
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,760
我只记得你朝我跪下了

53
00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:39,420
对 我是想让你嫁给我

54
00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:40,770
得了 你看起来像个傻子

55
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:41,440
你们俩都没赢

56
00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:44,620
因为Jake偷偷换了真正的冠军腹带

57
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:45,040
腰带

58
00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:46,340
换成了甜蜜求婚版

59
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:46,720
什么 

60
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,700
我以为大家都喜欢我用抢夺战来求婚呢

61
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,340
你错了 大家都讨厌它 不过这帮我获胜了

62
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,250
在你们庆祝订婚的时候

63
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:55,910
我偷偷溜回来 找到了正版的腹带

64
00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:56,260
腰带

65
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,070
它现在正挂在我家客厅的墙上

66
00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:00,700
我永远也没想到我会说这个 不过前戏够多了吧

67
00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:01,740
我们要不要举行抢夺战

68
00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:02,830
- 要  - 当然

69
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:05,310
等等 我只会在这一种情况下举行抢夺赛

70
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,320
那就是Jeffords警长同意这样能减轻他的紧张

71
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,450
是的 我是说 我很乐意暂时忘记考试

72
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:13,320
而且或许我今年会赢呢

73
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,930
啊 抢夺战已经开始发挥作用了

74
00:02:14,970 --> 00:02:17,020
Jeffords警长已经恢复他的幽默感了

75
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:18,190
嘿

76
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:19,370
好吧 不过说真的

77
00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:20,460
我们真的要举行吗

78
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,460
- 我们要举行抢夺战  - 抢夺战

79
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,590
- 抢夺战  - 抢夺战

80
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:24,640
这是五月五日节抢夺战

81
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,680
五月五日节抢夺战和万圣节抢夺战一样合理

82
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:28,470
开始吧

83
00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:30,040
神烦警探

84
00:02:28,580 --> 00:02:30,040
第六季 第十六集


86
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,100
欢迎各位来到

87
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:54,490
第一届五月五日万圣节抢夺战六

88
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:55,970
我们没还没想好名称

89
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:57,710
- 不用了 我喜欢这个名字  - 谢谢你 Charles

90
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,500
现在 在此之前

91
00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:01,260
我们应该先选一个要偷的东西

92
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,290
有人带着什么值钱的东西吗

93
00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:04,340
一些珠宝之类的

94
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,590
我有一个医用报警手环

95
00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:07,390
它能告诉人们我的名字和住址

96
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,440
以防我突然晕厥

97
00:03:09,470 --> 00:03:10,500
完美 今年的冠军

98
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:13,860
就属于今晚午夜时分能拿到Scully这个烦人手环的人

99
00:03:13,900 --> 00:03:15,150
我下午六点三十就要考试

100
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,820
你知道吗 Terry 你好像把抢夺战变成了一场噩梦

101
00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:17,960
或许你就不应该参与

102
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,730
所以这不是为了帮助Jeffords警长

103
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:20,870
- 什么  - 我觉得我该退出

104
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:21,780
但是 不不不 别啊

105
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:24,430
我当然是百分百支持Terry的

106
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:25,780
其实 我要和他组队

107
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,220
来吧

108
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:28,830
你太容易被操纵了

109
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:31,010
现在你和傻傻警长捆绑在一块了

110
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,010
- 该死  - 嘿

111
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:34,440
Santiago 我们组队吧

112
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:37,620
哦 机智 和卫冕冠军组队

113
00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:40,060
又说这种蠢话 我才是卫冕冠军

114
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,800
上次抢夺战中 你唯一赢得的

115
00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:45,370
是与Jake长达一辈子的无趣异性恋性交

116
00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:46,630
你怎么敢

117
00:03:46,670 --> 00:03:48,700
没人觉得你上次赢了

118
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:49,950
哇 我还以为那句"你怎么敢"

119
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,330
是和他刻薄的性爱评论有关呢 不过行吧

120
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:53,940
对的 不好意思 我告诉你

121
00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:57,030
我和Jake每晚都让彼此"精疲力竭"

122
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,950
天啦 有点过了 你知道吗

123
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:00,640
或许我们不应该在工作场合谈论这个

124
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:03,600
我在给Kevin发短信 让他带来那条冠军腹带

125
00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:06,000
让你们这些爱自夸的异性恋们看看谁是真正的赢家

126
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,350
内讧够多了

127
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:11,000
现在抛弃Amy 和我这位"小奶猫大盗"组队还不算太晚

128
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,790
Boyle 得了吧 你唯一的价值就是

129
00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:14,570
你有一个如今已经无法起作用的分身

130
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,400
因为Bill在那次事故中去世了

131
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,750
- Bill 愿你安息  - 真难过  - 悲剧啊

132
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,620
没有Bill我也是一样有用

133
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,490
对于这双小手来说 世界上就没有狭窄的洞

134
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:23,710
是为了偷东西

135
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,280
行吧

136
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,500
看来我只能和我的朋友Rosa组队了

137
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,130
我退出 五次抢夺战已经够了

138
00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:30,460
这事已经没有别的可能了

139
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,150
真的不会有什么新鲜事发生了

140
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:32,840
就很无聊

141
00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:33,970
不过你可以和我吃个漫长的午餐

142
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:36,290
哦 午餐 那可是恶魔的早餐

143
00:04:36,330 --> 00:04:37,940
- 算了吧  - 别 我不会那样叫它了

144
00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:39,600
我只是想参与进来

145
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,030
好的 那套关于午餐的说法显然只是个幌子

146
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,510
不过 我不担心会输给Boyle

147
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,040
没人担心 他就是个笑话

148
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,650
行 现在开始吧

149
00:04:47,690 --> 00:04:50,300
Scully和他的手环会被关在储藏室里

150
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,700
我可以躺在地上吗

151
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,760
嗯 你想做什么都可以

152
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:54,920
你已经躺在地上了

153
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,610
和Hitchcock一起 你俩还带了枕头

154
00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:57,880
最棒的一天

155
00:04:59,010 --> 00:05:01,140
好了 他们已经被锁在里面了

156
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:02,400
做好准备

157
00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:03,970
抢夺战五分钟后开始

158
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:05,750
五分钟吗 这事情真的是太突发

159
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,620
我甚至还没有任何计划和道具

160
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,150
我有超多计划和道具

161
00:05:09,190 --> 00:05:10,450
我甚至还有一条胜利横幅

162
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,760
它是通过语音指令声控打开的

163
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,150
我不能说是什么 不过真的很酷

164
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,110
我觉得这个有趣的一时冲动

165
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:17,160
可以让我从我的考试崩溃中分心

166
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,850
警长 这并不难猜到

167
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,250
你的口头禅是"Terry讨厌考试"

168
00:05:21,290 --> 00:05:22,810
是真的 Terry讨厌考试

169
00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:24,120
重点是 我计划好了所有事情

170
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,340
从Scully的手环开始

171
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,170
奖品必须是它 因为我准备了

172
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,780
抢夺战史上最精彩的反转

173
00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,780
请允许我为你介绍

174
00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:33,910
另一个Scully

175
00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:36,830
嗨 我是Earl 是Norm的双胞胎兄弟

176
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,440
为什么Scully从来没提过

177
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:39,340
他有个双胞胎兄弟

178
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,700
因为没有人会和同事聊自己的兄弟姐妹

179
00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,180
我和你聊过我的兄弟Lawrence啊

180
00:05:43,230 --> 00:05:43,950
你没有 而且我也不想听

181
00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:45,300
而且我已经忘记他的名字了

182
00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:47,190
咱们出发吧 抢夺战要开始了

183
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,180
目前还没有什么动静 

184
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,450
我们的计划是这样的

185
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,630
看到所有人都为你们的求婚热泪盈眶之后

186
00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:54,580
我决定用类似的方法转移注意力

187
00:05:54,630 --> 00:05:56,160
- 聪明 算我一个  - 你要告诉Jake

188
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,460
你怀了他的孩子

189
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,850
什么 我没怀孕啊

190
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:00,290
这是阳性验孕结果

191
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:01,680
这是你胎儿的超声波图

192
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,380
恭喜你 是个女孩

193
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:05,800
我感觉这样玩弄Jake的感情有点过分了 长官

194
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:06,940
你说的对 的确过分了

195
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:07,860
可惜

196
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,990
作为你的导师 我命令你这么做

197
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,470
哇 好吧

198
00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:14,260
或许我们应该讨论一下别的选择

199
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,260
没时间了 你看

200
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,040
Peralta奔着手环去了

201
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:19,000
他怎么这么快就解开了

202
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,260
回见 窝囊废们

203
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,480
别急

204
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,830
这他妈是什么情况

205
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,920
还记得我圣诞节送你的那个运动手环吗

206
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,620
我把那个改造成了电击枪

207
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,580
什么 你到底想不想让我健身了

208
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,320
想啊 但我更想赢

209
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:33,620
电你哟 小贱人

210
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:34,970
Scully到我手上了 快 赶紧走

211
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:41,680
不 不要

212
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:42,420
太好了

213
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:44,960
假抢夺战非常顺利

214
00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:46,380
真抢夺战也是

215
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:48,730
你的脸为什么在抽搐

216
00:06:48,770 --> 00:06:49,780
哦 Amy狠狠电了我

217
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,060
我咬到了自己的舌头 精彩极了 

218
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,040
打开那扇门困难吗

219
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,020
不难 毕竟我强壮如牛

220
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,910
最难的是把手环从Scully手腕上弄下来

221
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:58,740
戴了这么紧的东西 你的手还能有有知觉的吗

222
00:06:58,780 --> 00:06:59,820
原来手应该要有知觉的吗

223
00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:00,860
这可真是吓人

224
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:01,780
我先告辞一下 

225
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,400
去藏好老手环 

226
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,520
让我赢得这个抢夺战

227
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:05,920
你是说让"我们"赢得这个抢夺战吧

228
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:06,440
噢 Terrence 

229
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,100
不幸的是"我"还真没这个打算

230
00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:11,270
什么鬼

231
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:12,100
对不住了 警长

232
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,840
- 我不得不这么做  - 为什么

233
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,260
因为横幅上只有我的名字

234
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,450
真的纯粹是因为横幅的问题

235
00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:17,880
它是声控展开的

236
00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:19,280
但我保证我会在我的获胜演讲中

237
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,440
提到你和Earl Scully的名字

238
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,320
等等 Earl在这吗

239
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:23,760
对啊 他在抢夺战里帮了我们忙

240
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,340
我告诉过那个臭傻逼

241
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,850
不许再出现在纽约了

242
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,290
你为什么在冲着玻璃跑

243
00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:33,600
你死定了 Earl

244
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,220
这可不妙

245
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,730
你死定了 Jake

246
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:38,080
呃 这更不妙

247
00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,920
挤点儿润滑剂 过来帮我拔

248
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,200
呃 你还记不记得每次赢了之后

249
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:44,360
我们都会进行有趣的吹牛总结

250
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,420
我们这回能不做了吗

251
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,350
可以

252
00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:47,530
我们再想出来一个更酷的

253
00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:49,220
但目前来讲 我们先润滑再抽拔 

254
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:52,010
用你的腿卷住他来固定自己

255
00:07:52,050 --> 00:07:53,180
好 开始吧 

256
00:07:55,970 --> 00:07:57,360
是Earl吗 Earl

257
00:07:57,940 --> 00:07:58,940
Norm

258
00:07:59,670 --> 00:08:01,060
- Norm  - 什么鬼

259
00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:02,800
我很高兴你的朋友邀请我来

260
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:03,680
我告诉过你如果我再见到你

261
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:04,980
会有什么后果 Earl

262
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:07,070
这是什么情况 我都看到了什么

263
00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:08,980
Scully有一个双胞胎兄弟Earl

264
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,680
Jake把他带来骗你们

265
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,070
谢谢你载我这一程 Terrence

266
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,100
很显然他们俩关系不太好

267
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:16,120
我们以前关系很好 形影不离

268
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,700
直到Earl睡了我老婆

269
00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:20,600
她想要和种马上床而不是和哑弹上床 这又不是我的错

270
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:23,080
什么种马 你的脸看起来像被马踢了

271
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,480
是吗 你的嘴长得像个屁眼

272
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,130
你全身长得都像屁眼

273
00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:27,170
而你们长得一模一样

274
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,660
我们该帮Scully吗

275
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:33,010
我可不想碰这一摊

276
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,140
你跑不了 Earl

277
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:43,080
这可真是让人颠覆认知的一出好戏

278
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,460
- 再见  - 告诉你们一声

279
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:46,020
手环在Jake的口袋里

280
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,480
你为什么要告诉他们 我们是一队的

281
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,410
你把我锁了起来

282
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:49,760
的确 但他们不知道啊

283
00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:51,500
他口袋里没有手环

284
00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:53,720
什么 不应该啊

285
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:54,990
它去哪了

286
00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:58,080
- (希伯来语)您好啊 搭档  - 牛逼

287
00:08:58,140 --> 00:09:00,880
你还觉得Shlomo Ben-Yisrael不能成功完成任务

288
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,030
不 我说的是这个名字和戏服会冒犯到别人 

289
00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,690
在法律的边缘试探

290
00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:05,640
不管怎样 这成功了

291
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,160
Jake把Scully的孪生兄弟带来

292
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:09,420
正如我在脸书上给他们牵线搭桥时设想的那样

293
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,260
但他完全不知道他们互相憎恨

294
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:12,520
结果当所有人都打得不可开交时

295
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,760
根本没人注意到老Shlomo

296
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,240
他们都低估了我 Rosa 

297
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,700
但今天 他们会为这一错误付出代价 

298
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,580
因为在今天

299
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:22,880
我要证明Charles Boyle是无可匹敌的

300
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,320
我之前把你的胡子泡在麻醉剂里了

301
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,120
是吗 我可不怎么相

302
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,170
注意：重物

303
00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:36,760
- 要寄到哪  - 寄到特伦顿去

304
00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,070
慢慢来

305
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:40,070
啊 完美

306
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,200
啥 发生了什么 

307
00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:42,160
- 你知道手环在哪了吗  - 不

308
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,900
Kevin带来了我是唯一抢夺战两连胜的证据

309
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,140
这是你的金腰带 Raymond

310
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,690
我们没时间了 长官

311
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,380
我去搜查一楼

312
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:52,060
那我去搜查二楼

313
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,380
我们是形影不离的队友

314
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,260
那是个邪恶的小谎言

315
00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:58,200
就连我们说话的时候我都在背叛她

316
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:02,280
- 嘿 Kev  - Diaz和我在偷偷合作

317
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,140
她从通风管潜行过来的

318
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,940
这是个重大反转

319
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,160
我感觉你并没有领略到它的意义

320
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,200
我不喜欢这些抢夺战 

321
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,150
或者说它们让你展现的样子

322
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,450
- 噢 憋说了 Kevin  - "憋说了"

323
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,560
Cheddar 或许我们该走了

324
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,920
不行 Cheddar得留下来

325
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,630
他扮演着重要的角色

326
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,760
把猫头鹰先生给我

327
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:19,600
没有人会想到

328
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,560
去Cheddar心爱的咀嚼玩具里找手环

329
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,040
或者说你的意思是 Jake心爱的咀嚼玩具

330
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,060
感谢老天爷 附近没人听到我说了什么

331
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,640
啊 你在这儿啊 我到处找你

332
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:35,020
哇 这可是一大堆蛋黄 

333
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,060
你又在压力性进食吗

334
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,440
还是说这只是常规的Terry小零食

335
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,740
我这是压力性进食 Jake

336
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:39,920
我的零食蛋黄在那个碗里

337
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,570
哦 别吃鸡蛋了

338
00:10:41,610 --> 00:10:42,880
快来帮我一起抢夺战

339
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,140
- 我拒绝  - 为什么

340
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:46,100
呃 是因为我之前背叛了你吗

341
00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:47,780
是的 那是我们最后一次交流

342
00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:49,090
并且是个巨大的错误

343
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,390
我现在明白了 我们的友谊

344
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,580
比那个愚蠢的横幅更珍贵

345
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,710
听着 手环在Cheddar的咀嚼玩具里

346
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,780
我知道 因为我在Holt的冠军腹带上装了窃听器

347
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:57,630
- 真的吗  - 真的

348
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,110
我料到他会带过来炫耀

349
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,150
咱们赶紧下手吧

350
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:00,990
我不太确定

351
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,720
听着 警长 我诚心向你道歉

352
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,540
我没法纠正过去 但是说真的

353
00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:06,030
你宁愿和我一起赢得抢夺战

354
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,340
还是坐在这里吞鸡蛋

355
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:08,950
像超级马里奥2里面的Birdo

356
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,200
Birdo不吃蛋 Birdo吐蛋

357
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:12,830
天啊 你居然懂这个梗 Terry

358
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:14,150
我们简直就是最佳拍档

359
00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,170
来吧警长 求你了

360
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:18,300
- 行吧 我帮你  - 啊 太棒了

361
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,710
但是 在你完全投入之前

362
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,160
我得先警告你

363
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:22,390
我的计划非常复杂

364
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,430
你可能会搞得很脏

365
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,660
我加入了 这可是抢夺战

366
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:27,390
现在说说我们要怎么搞到那个咀嚼玩具

367
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,660
好的 听好了

368
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,010
首先 我会潜入Holt的办公室

369
00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:32,130
继续和他争论去年抢夺战的胜者是谁

370
00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:35,230
你手上现在有几条冠军腹带 零条

371
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,070
我手握腹带 你一无所有 快告诉他 Kevin

372
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,630
- 我走了  - 无关紧要

373
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:40,790
我一边和Holt争吵

374
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:43,760
一边偷偷地往Cheddar的碗里放更多的水

375
00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:45,810
然后我们就坐等

376
00:11:46,690 --> 00:11:47,590
又要上厕所

377
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,740
- 万一他把狗带到楼下呢  - 他不会的

378
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:52,930
我花了很长时间在Holt的电脑上进行秘密定向搜索

379
00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:55,730
现在他所有的定向广告都是

380
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:58,030
狗狗尿尿垫 有趣

381
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,900
他买了一个放在露台上

382
00:11:59,910 --> 00:12:01,270
就在Gina的金雕像旁边

383
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:03,780
接着 因为他相信Cheddar上厕所时应该不受打扰

384
00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:05,320
像其他有自尊心的成年人一样

385
00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:08,450
他会让Cheddar独自解决生理问题

386
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,620
完事了通知我 汪一声

387
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,800
趁Holt守着门口

388
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,370
你就把猫头鹰先生调包

389
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:14,530
用这个

390
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:15,670
这听起来都挺不错

391
00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,800
但我要怎么上露台 不让Holt发现

392
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,670
哦警长 你早就在露台上了

393
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,800
穿着完美的金色伪装

394
00:12:23,890 --> 00:12:25,840
计划成功 我拿到手了

395
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:27,410
哦我的天 你看起来就像一座奥卡斯小金人

396
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:28,300
我们得合个影 

397
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:29,430
我假装把你捧在手里

398
00:12:29,430 --> 00:12:30,990
- Jake  - 对的 时间不够 待会儿再拍

399
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,990
我们不会拍的 快帮我把金漆弄掉

400
00:12:33,030 --> 00:12:33,990
好的 把手伸出来

401
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:35,680
我拿卸妆水给你喷一喷

402
00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:36,680
嘿呀

403
00:12:36,730 --> 00:12:37,860
不

404
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:39,990
你又背叛我了 为什么

405
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,070
因为那条横幅

406
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,750
你不是说我们的友谊更珍贵吗

407
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:44,360
嗯 很明显我撒谎了

408
00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:45,990
那条横幅很贵的

409
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,330
我钱不多的 警长

410
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,320
好的 再见

411
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,680
别发出太响的声音

412
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:55,570
大家好 我刚和Charles吃过午饭回来 他现在不在

413
00:12:55,590 --> 00:12:57,170
我很高兴我没参加抢夺战

414
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:57,940
话说 现在谁领先

415
00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,020
不知道 我只知道不是我

416
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,900
有趣 也不是我

417
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,320
呃 你们为什么这么诡异

418
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,400
什么 诡异

419
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,060
一个诡异的人会这样笑吗

420
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,760
哈哈 哈 哈 无忧无虑

421
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,330
- 是的  - Jake

422
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,460
哦 Terry 你把自己挣脱了

423
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,040
是啊 你下次该试试

424
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,570
把我铐在一个更牢固的金属上

425
00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:17,600
嗯 我并不知道什么金属更牢固

426
00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:18,330
怎么回事

427
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,690
为什么Terry看起来像一座奥斯卡小金人

428
00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:21,480
- 对吧  - 手环在他手上

429
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,430
我们从Cheddar那夺走了猫头鹰先生

430
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:24,470
调了个包

431
00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:27,000
哇 Terry 我背叛你都只是开玩笑

432
00:13:27,010 --> 00:13:28,210
但你也太伤人了

433
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:30,950
Cheddar 把猫头鹰先生给我

434
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:33,160
这是新版

435
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,660
领结是土耳其蓝 不是埃及蓝

436
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:38,180
你怎么会没发现

437
00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:39,450
因为它是条狗

438
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:43,580
说到底 一只狗怎么比得上Jake Peralta

439
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:46,100
你的也是假的 土耳其蓝色的领结

440
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:48,620
哦拜托 我唯一一次说自己比狗聪明就这么输了

441
00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:50,150
如果我的是假的 你的是假的

442
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:51,690
那谁拿了真正的手环

443
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:53,110
- 我拿了  - Kevin

444
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:54,840
我把猫头鹰先生调包了

445
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:56,680
就在你和Peralta争吵的时候

446
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:57,990
你手上现在有几条冠军腹带 零条

447
00:13:57,990 --> 00:14:00,250
我手握腹带 你一无所有

448
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:02,730
你背叛了我 为什么

449
00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:04,500
我们家里不能再摆这些奖品了

450
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,850
客厅里已经挂了一条冠军腹带

451
00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:06,550
下一个是什么

452
00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:08,330
床头悬一个生锈的医疗手环

453
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,520
没错 快把它交出来

454
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,000
不在我手里 我给了Amy

455
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,520
Santiago

456
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,520
- 你也背叛了我  - 你先背叛我的

457
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,330
你一直和Rosa暗中勾结

458
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:19,720
又不是真的 我一直就打算背地里捅她一刀

459
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:20,420
什么

460
00:14:20,430 --> 00:14:22,660
你怎么能对别人这么恶毒

461
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:24,050
你骗了我 Rosa

462
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:25,840
然后你把我寄到了新泽西州

463
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:26,870
第一 成熟点

464
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,430
第二 你怎么这么快就回来了

465
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,430
只要把纸箱弄得够湿

466
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,190
很容易就能破箱而出

467
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:32,540
大家别问下去

468
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,960
我就知道信不过你 Rosa

469
00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:36,060
所以我打算用Bill背叛你

470
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,120
没错 他根本没死

471
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:38,560
嘿 大家好

472
00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:40,290
你们真的以为我会错过今年的抢夺战吗

473
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,770
没门 我可是你们小组的一员

474
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:42,520
- 不  - 你不是

475
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:44,550
好的 现在真的跟不上了

476
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:46,250
手环现在在谁手里

477
00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:47,150
Santiago

478
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:48,900
对 你们休想抢走

479
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:50,080
话别说太早

480
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:52,320
什么鬼

481
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,920
还记得我圣诞节送你的那支瑞士名牌笔吗

482
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,830
你一直放在口袋里的那支

483
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,520
那也是电击枪 兄弟

484
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,350
- 呃啊啊  - 这个归我了

485
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,350
Amy别让我再电你一次

486
00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:04,310
别别别 我怀孕了

487
00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:06,140
- 什么  - 我刚得知

488
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:07,920
- 是个女孩儿  - 哦我的天

489
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,200
哦我的天 真的发生了

490
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,480
快 来个人录一下我成为叔叔的反应视频

491
00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:14,100
她在撒谎 怀孕骗局是我想出来的

492
00:15:14,140 --> 00:15:15,620
不 不不不 Amy

493
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:17,760
等等 是真的吗 你刚刚拿我们的孩子骗我

494
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,370
你刚刚拿我们的孩子骗我们

495
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:21,370
- 你电了我  - 是你先电我的

496
00:15:21,410 --> 00:15:23,490
够了 Terry受够了

497
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,830
这本来就是个好玩的游戏而已

498
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,120
结果把你们一个一个的都变成了可怕的人

499
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,900
背叛你的丈夫 把朋友打包快递走

500
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:33,710
Jake和Amy 您二位今年给对方买过

501
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:35,380
任何不是电击枪的礼物吗

502
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:35,840
- 没有  - 没

503
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,600
你们都装的好像这件事是为了帮我

504
00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:39,550
摆脱考试压力一样 

505
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:41,640
但你们根本没人关心

506
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,560
知道吗 你们都糟透了

507
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,220
别别别 我的语音指令 Terry 小心

508
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,700
好的吧 我知道这场面很不好 

509
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,970
但是我希望大家不要立刻就下结论说这是谁的错

510
00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:59,540
*Jacob Peralta啊 Jacob Peralta*

511
00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,430
Jake王万岁

512
00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:02,450
*这全都是他的妙计*

513
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,110
哇 这首即兴演奏听起来挺好玩

514
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,280
*这全都是他的妙计*

515
00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:09,290
他的视线不能集中 

516
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:12,700
他这会儿也没有用第三人称称呼自己 

517
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:13,460
明确的脑震荡了

518
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,580
同志们 坏事了

519
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,590
警督考试30分钟内就要开始了

520
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:18,960
这样 我们先把他挪到警局大楼

521
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,130
希望他在路上能清醒过来

522
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:22,510
- Charles 帮我搭把手  - 收到

523
00:16:22,510 --> 00:16:24,780
太重了 搬不动

524
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,610
我去 他到底是怎么能举起自己胳膊的时候还能举铁的

525
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:28,130
完全不可能 我们没法把他弄到大楼去

526
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:29,660
你们是需要人帮忙把人运走吗

527
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:31,050
谢天谢地 该是小队里Bill出场的时候了

528
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,920
我是说 假设 我是小队的一份子的话

529
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,840
- 当然  - 当然

530
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,670
太好了 终于 我有住的地方了

531
00:16:40,710 --> 00:16:42,280
- 啥  - 在下一个巷子我的购物车旁碰头

532
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,540
都是罐头的那个

533
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:44,360
听起来他的计划就是

534
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,570
把Terry放进购物车里

535
00:16:45,570 --> 00:16:47,410
没错 就这么办

536
00:16:53,770 --> 00:16:55,330
410室在这边

537
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:57,200
好的 我们提前一分钟把他送过来了

538
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,900
好的 我就知道我们能做到 好了 警长

539
00:16:58,950 --> 00:16:59,840
你准备好进去并且傲视群雄了吗

540
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,470
是的 难以置信我就要成为飞行员啦

541
00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:03,380
得 行吧 这可不太妙 

542
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:05,050
他这个样子绝对没法考试

543
00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:07,390
没错 Amy 你得钻进他衣服里

544
00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:08,220
操控他的胳膊

545
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:09,730
<料理鼠王>情景重现

546
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:11,180
- 这就照办  - 别 到此为止

547
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,530
我们要进去跟他们说 Terry没法考试了

548
00:17:13,570 --> 00:17:14,960
那就这么办吧

549
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,480
Rosa 或许你第一个进去

550
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:17,790
- 毕竟这基本上是你的错  - 哥们

551
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,620
行行行 我先去 天啦

552
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,780
等会 人呢 桌子都去哪儿

553
00:17:24,780 --> 00:17:25,860
这是什么情况

554
00:17:25,860 --> 00:17:28,710
目前情况就是

555
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,800
你们都糟透了

556
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:35,070
*你们都是蠢货 你们都是蠢货*

557
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:33,690
Terry王万岁

558
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:37,370
*Terry Jeffords是最棒的*

559
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:40,770
*你们都是蠢货 你们都是蠢货*

560
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,770
*Terry Jeffords是最棒的*

561
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,640
这混蛋偷了我的歌

562
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:47,470
等等 Terry拿着手链

563
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:51,480
正是这样 我和我的队友Terry赢啦

564
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,650
我们把你们都蒙了

565
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:54,390
你他妈啥都没干

566
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,310
行吧 不过乔丹的队友也啥都没干呀 

567
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:57,310
他们照样有总冠军戒指

568
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:00,010
行了 先这样 跟我们说说你的诡计 

569
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,110
好 首先 我的诡计能成功的前提

570
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:04,750
是要发生在我能掌控一切的日子里

571
00:18:04,790 --> 00:18:05,790
万圣节肯定不行

572
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,670
你伪造了燃气爆炸事故

573
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:09,760
没错 那个蠢演员差点毁了一切

574
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,280
你那个哀嚎是怎么回事 Trent

575
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,450
我以为你是在李·斯特拉斯伯格学院学的表演

576
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:14,870
那学院屁用没有 给钱就能上

577
00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:16,370
好了我终于没有负罪感了 

578
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:16,960
我本来还很抱歉来着

579
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,880
因为我戳了那货的伤口判断伤是不是真的

580
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,290
你还是应该觉得抱歉的

581
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,840
怎么会 都是假的 我完全无罪了

582
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,130
警长 继续说你的故事

583
00:18:23,130 --> 00:18:24,630
我就知道你们会提议进行抢夺战 

584
00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:26,510
为了让我不要被警督考试折磨疯

585
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:28,430
我所要做的就是静观其变

586
00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:31,140
看着每个人都越来越过分

587
00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:32,680
但是你怎么能知道我们会这么失控呢

588
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,430
我花了六个月的时间种下了嫌隙的种子

589
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,110
天呢 我真的是受够了Jake

590
00:18:38,110 --> 00:18:40,870
一直说他是唯一二度蝉联万圣节抢夺战赢家的人

591
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,070
我才是唯一二度蝉联万圣节抢夺战赢家的人

592
00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:44,360
我简直不敢信大家都说

593
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,950
你对万圣节抢夺战毫无帮助

594
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:49,710
因为他们觉得你手指头太粗了

595
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:50,870
等着瞧

596
00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:53,030
感谢你邀请我来吃晚饭

597
00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:56,150
我天 这玩意真是挂在相当显眼的位置哈

598
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:57,080
不会再挂多久了 

599
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,210
我被操纵了

600
00:18:58,210 --> 00:18:59,790
- 抱歉 Kevin  - 不用道歉 Terry 

601
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:00,710
这是他第一次参加抢夺战

602
00:19:00,710 --> 00:19:02,290
他需要学习 继续说

603
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,750
等我让所有人都疯了之后 

604
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:09,250
我要做的 就是"砸晕自己" 让你们良心不安

605
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:09,590
那个横幅

606
00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:11,470
不过你是怎么弄到我的语音指令的

607
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:14,390
我根本不需要弄 那玩意是我卖给你的

608
00:19:14,390 --> 00:19:15,470
不

609
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,610
我希望当我说"你们都糟透了"的时候它能展开

610
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:19,740
没问题

611
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:20,910
跟你合作很愉快

612
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,390
愉快的是我

613
00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:25,790
这能行的

614
00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:27,880
我花了1800美金啊

615
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,050
- 你花了那么多钱  - Amy 不要打断人家

616
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:30,910
Terry正演讲呢

617
00:19:30,910 --> 00:19:34,030
无论如何 只要我开始脑震荡表演 

618
00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:36,620
我就为我的搭档提供了完美的

619
00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:39,630
实施计划的条件

620
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,680
Cheddar 你这个两面间谍小混球

621
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,460
我训练了Cheddar好几个月

622
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,030
哇 这首即兴演奏挺有意思

623
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:49,290
我换掉它的玩偶猫头鹰先生的时候

624
00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:51,120
在他身上放了磁铁项圈

625
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,470
从那开始 Cheddar跟了我们一路过来警局大楼

626
00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:56,950
在这间屋子的门外

627
00:19:56,990 --> 00:19:59,300
它亲自把手链转移给了我

628
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:01,260
不是 那警督考试呢

629
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,820
你现在不是应该在考试吗

630
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,740
当然不是 那玩意几周前就考了

631
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,790
而且我考过了 我现在是警督了

632
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,180
- 是吗  - 太好了

633
00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:09,960
- Jeffords警督  - 太棒了

634
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,620
我为你骄傲 Terry

635
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:14,270
行了 你有点过界了 Bill

636
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,320
没错 你在这的存在真的很诡异 Bill

637
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,670
为Terry Jeffords 地表最强人类

638
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:21,410
以及天才 做的不错 警督

639
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:23,800
- 呦吼  - 谢谢大家

640
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,280
顺便 下次抢夺战是在万圣节

641
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:27,150
所以你只能做六个月的赢家

642
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,500
- 这顶多算半赢  - 是这么回事没错

643
00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:30,980
- 嗯  - 超垃圾的

644
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,430
嘿 Scully 你和Earl和好了

645
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:33,970
是的 Hitchcock帮我们意识到

646
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:35,720
我们不应该因为彼此太过不同而打来打去

647
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,510
没错 为我们的不同干杯

648
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:41,860
哎呀 该死

649
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:44,470
哎呀 该死乘二

650
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,060
- 啥  - 我去

651
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:48,650
Terry 你今天简直 精彩绝伦

652
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,280
我想说 如果我表现得过分了的话 我很抱歉

653
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,110
逗我呢吗

654
00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:54,480
让你愧疚只是我得战略

655
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:55,920
我超级爱抢夺战的疯狂

656
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,620
好的 很好 因为我真正想说的是

657
00:20:57,660 --> 00:21:00,100
下次抢夺战 我要把你浸在你自己的血里

658
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:01,670
是吗 那我就把你的胳膊卸下来

659
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:02,710
用它们把你揍死

660
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:03,170
噢

661
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:04,500
我会切断你的跟腱 

662
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:05,210
剥下你的指甲

663
00:21:05,210 --> 00:21:07,540
把编制针插进你的双眼

664
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:08,540
我去

665
00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:09,630
Raymond 你是对的

666
00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:10,620
抢夺战挺有意思的