要知道 犯罪生涯的阴暗面之一就是 You know, one of the downsides to a life of crime
你必须时不时地同某些人打交道 唔... is that occasionally you have to do business with people who are, um...
嗯 说得好听点 罪犯们 Well, for want of a better word, criminals.
像大多数不得善终的事情一样 Like most things that end with you hanging upside down
即便你最终被倒吊在废弃的仓库里 in a deserted warehouse,
刚开始它可的确是条妙计 it started with a really good idea.
"《花园中的小猫》由巴勃罗·毕加索绘于1903年 "A Small Cat In The Garden was painted by Pablo Picasso in 1903,
"这一时期被称之为他的蓝色时期 "in what was known as his Blue Period.
"画的尺寸为12x11英寸 星期天的凌晨时分 "It measures 12 inches by 11 inches and was stolen from a private collection
"从私人藏品里偷取" "in the early hours of Sunday morning."
嗯...值多少? Mmmm... Value?
-投保金额有3百万 -哇奥 -It's been insured for three million. -Wow.
"警方说 盗窃团伙显然经验老道 消息灵通" "Police say the gang was clearly experienced and well informed."
-意思是偷这幅画是有的放矢 -这毫无疑问 -Meaning it was stolen to order. -No question.
-疯子Dolly还在附近吗? -我也在想 -Is Mad Dolly still around? -My thoughts exactly.
谁? Who?
Dolly Hammond Dolly Hammond,
在伦敦 她仿造的毕加索作品是最逼真的 she's the best Picasso forger in London.
她人不错 就是有一点...她...比较特立独行 She's all right, but she's just a bit.... She's...unique.
是的 她是有点儿与众不同 这你懂 Yeah, she's a bit different, you know.
-疯疯癫癫的 -对 没错 -Insane. -Yeah. Nice.
实际上她是个可爱的老精明鬼 但是 额... She's a lovely old bird really, but, erm...
她过去曾迷恋Albie she used to have the hots for Albie.
既然画已经被偷 为什么我们还要找人伪造它? Why would we need someone to forge a painting that's already been stolen?
恩 是因为现在失窃一事已经被报道了... Well, because now its theft has already been reported...
如果你告诉收藏家们你试图卖掉这幅画 Collectors will believe you
他们会相信你的是真品 if you tell 'em you're trying to sell it.
这主意棒极了! It's brilliant!
-是的没错 -是的没错 -一向如此 -Yes, it is. -Yes, it is. -As always.
呃 看起来棒极了 Well, potentially brilliant.
这取决于你想把赝品卖给谁 Depending on who you try and sell the fake to.
给你一个小忠告 And here's a little tip
如果你想非法销售毕加索的赝品... should you ever find yourself trying to flog a fake Picasso...
可别把它卖给 Don't try and sell it to the bloke
真品最初的主人 画可是从那儿偷的 who the original was nicked from in the first place.
好了好了 骑兵们来了 Aye-aye. Here come the cavalry.
Ash! Ash!
轻点 Sean 轻点! Gently, Sean, gently!
噢... Oooh...
-Mickey在哪? -他们拿枪对着我们呢 -Where's Mickey? -They pulled a gun on us.
Petre Sava的人抓了他 Petre Sava's men have taken him.
发生什么了? What happened?
啊 说来话长 Well, it's a very long story,
但结果是真品一开始就从他那儿被偷了 but the upshot is the original was nicked from him in the first place.
我们告诉他是我们偷了画 He wasn't happy at us telling him it was us who nicked it,
然后打算卖他幅假的来代替真的 他就怒了 and then trying to sell him a fake back instead of the real thing.
这不是毕加索! This is NOT Picasso!
这不是我的画! This is not my painting!
所以在我们把真的毕加索还给他之前 So Petre Sava is holding on to Mickey
Petre Sava是不会放了Mickey的 till we deliver the real Picasso back to him.
我们又没有真品 We haven't got the real one.
对 这一点我强调过了 为此我们还争了一会 No, I did mention that, and we argued for a bit,
然后他威胁会暴力相加 then he threatened a level of physical violence
我对此很是不喜欢 所以放弃了 I wasn't comfortable with, so I backed down.
他给我们6小时找到它 He's given us six hours to find it.
如果我们找不到真画会怎样? So what happens if we can't find the real painting?
哦 这一点他说得特详细 Oh, he was very specific about that.
Mickey必死无疑 Mickey's a dead man.
这么说没人发现任何线索?但这不可能 So no-one's got anything? But that's impossible.
嗯 这不是当地团伙犯的案 Well, it's not a local crew.
如果是的话 肯定有知情者 Someone would know if it was.
目前真画很可能已经被运出国了 By now the real painting could've been shipped out of the country.
但没人听到任何动静也太奇怪了 But it's weird that no-one's heard anything.
或者他们有 却不愿拿出来分享 Or if they have, they don't want to share it.
Dolly仿造画的人那边呢? What about that Dolly the forger?
如果她是毕加索的狂热爱好者 If she's a Picasso freak,
她应该会听说点什么消息 she might have heard something.
我想... I suppose...
-是啊 对 没错 能试试 -我们行动吧 -Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's worth a try. -Let's do it.
如今都找不到个有水准的大盗了 Can't find a decent thief these days,
全都是些匪徒 真上不了台面 they're all gangsters, they've got no class.
-不像你 Albert -谢谢你 Dolly -Not like you Albert. -Thank you, Dolly.
我真想把他们用睾丸串起来 I'd string 'em all up. By the testicles.
丢出去让乌鸦啄 Leave them there for the crows to pick at.
剩下的就喂猪 像我们过去常做的那样 Feed what's left to the pigs, like we used to.
Dolly 你知不知道是谁偷了那幅毕加索? So you've no idea who stole the Picasso, Dolly?
-哪幅毕加索? -《花园中的小猫》 -What Picasso? -A Small Cat In The Garden.
你的仿制品我已经画好给你了 You've had your copy, I've already done it.
不不 我说的是那幅真品 No, no, I'm talking about the real one.
他真可爱 He's cute.
Dolly 那幅画 你知道是谁偷的吗? Dolly, the painting, have you any idea who nicked it?
这种事我怎么知道? How would I know that?
-有人跟你说过什么吗? -谁? -Has no-one said anything to you? -Who?
-随便谁 -说什么? -Anyone. -Said what?
-关于画的事 -什么画? -About the painting. -What painting?
-毕加索的画 -我不知道谁偷了它 -The Picasso. -I don't know who nicked it.
额 我就问这个 不是吗? Well, that's what I'm asking, innit?
我已经告诉你了 你是谁? I've told you. Who are you?
哦...我是Emma Oh... I'm Emma.
你在我家做什么? What are you doing in my house?
我和Albert一起的 I'm with Albert.
她是你的小情妇 对吗? This your floozy, is it?
不不不不 Dolly 你是我唯一的女人 No, no, no, no. You're the only woman for me, Dolly.
噢!啊...不好意思啦 Ohhh! Aah...unlucky.
Dolly 你对这幅画一点儿都不知情? Dolly, do you know anything at all about the painting?
任何能帮我们找到窃贼的线索都行 Anything that might help us find out who nicked it?
我是说 有没有谁非常爱这幅画?私人收藏家? I mean, was there someone who really liked it? A private collector?
或者有谁之前想买却没买到手?任何相关的事都行 Or did someone try and buy it before and failed? Anything.
我知道伦敦每一幅毕加索的藏地 I know where every Picasso in London is.
我能嗅出来 I can smell them.
除了这一幅 Except this one.
Dolly 听着 你有什么办法找到它吗? Dolly, look, is there any way you can track it down, you know?
我是说 街头巷尾都流传些什么消息? I mean, what's the word on the street?
我看上去像抱抱熊吗? Do I look like Huggy Bear?
Dolly!我们需要找到它 Dolly! We need to find it.
我会想想我能做些什么的 只要... I'll see what I can do, if...
..他对我唱唱歌 ..he sings to me,
他亲亲我 and he snogs me.
# 你好 Dolly 呀 你好 Dolly # # Hello Dolly, well, Hello Dolly #
# 你回来真好 回到你属于的地方! # # It's so nice to have you back where you belong! #
哦... Oh...
不 No.
算了吧 别... 别这样 Forget it. It's...it's not happening.
Sean 想想Mickey Sean, think about Mickey.
-别提Mickey -亲一下吧 -Forget Mickey. -Do it.
我不想...做这事 I don't want to... Do it.
-我不想! -Sean... -Don't want to! -Sean...
真顽皮! Naughty!
怎样? Well?
额...嗯 几个小时内我应该就能知道 Erm...well, I should know in a couple of hours.
派他来 Send him.
现在 以防Dolly想不出线索 Now, just in case Dolly draws a blank,
我们最好全面行动起来 we'd better cover all the angles.
Albert 同警方联络下 Albert, use your police contacts,
看看他们那儿有什么线索 see if they've got any leads on the robbery
-或者知道可能会是谁 -行 -or any idea who it was. -Right.
Sean 你开车 Sean, take the car.
看看能不能查到Petre Sava的其他信息 See what else you can find out about Petre Sava.
好 OK.
-我们干什么? -你跟我去见Cyclops -What about us? -You and me will go and see Cyclops.
虽然艺术品不是他的菜 Now, art's not really his thing,
但他也许会听到些消息 but he might have heard something.
我有一幅《玩斯诺克的狗》可以吗? I've got The Dogs Playing Snooker, if that's any good to you?
那可是经典作品 It's a classic.
我曾经有幅《在网球场上挠她屁股的鸟》 I used to have The Bird On The Tennis Court Scratching Her Bum,
但它在家庭纠纷中被高跟鞋划坏了 but it got stiletto damage in a domestic dispute.
哎 女人并不懂艺术 没说错吧? Well, women don't really get art, do they?
是这样吗? Is that right?
没错 众所周知 Yeah, well-known fact.
她们对艺术没有耐心 They've got no patience for it.
所以主流艺术家全是男性 女人从来都半途而废 That's why all the major artists are all men. Women would never be able to finish anything.
《微笑骑士》欣赏到一半 They'd be halfway through The Laughing Cavalier,
她们就走神了 开始分颜色整理鞋柜 then they'd wander off and start colour-coding their shoe cupboard.
听着 我们能回到当前的问题上吗? Look, can we get back to the matter in hand?
什么问题? Which was?
《花园中的小猫》 那幅被偷了的毕加索 A Small Cat In The Garden. The stolen Picasso.
-哦 好 -谁偷的? -Oh, yeah. -So who nicked it?
艺术品不是我的菜 Art's not really my thing.
-我说过 是吧? -是的 -I said that, didn't I? -Yeah.
-但我听说过它 -什么? -But I heard about it. -What?
我说我听说过它 I said I heard about it.
不...不不 你听到什么了? No...No, no, what did you hear?
-听说它被偷了 来一片吗? -不用了 谢谢 -That it was nicked. You want a chip? -No. Thank you.
-有时间约个会吗? -没有 -Any chance of a date? -None.
同情的施舍呢? 把它看成慈善工作吧 就一会儿 Sympathy shag? Think of it as charity work, it's been a while.
Cyclops 听着 Mickey有麻烦了 Look, Cyclops, Mickey's in trouble.
不管你知道什么 你都要告诉我 Whatever you know, you need to tell me.
-我们还没讲价呢 -什么?你还要对我们收钱? -We haven't haggled yet. -What? You're going to charge us?
抱歉 我们还在资本主义社会 'Scuse me. This is still a capitalist society.
我以为Mickey是你的朋友 I thought Mickey was your mate.
实际上 他就熟那么一丁点儿 Well, he's more of an acquaintance, really.
不过 我愿意给你们打个折 But that said, I'm willing to make a discount.
要多少? How much?
你看着给 Call it a nifty.
好 OK.
我不知道它们是否有联系 I can't tell if these things are related,
但毕加索被盗的前一天 but the day before the Picasso was nicked,
飞来壮实的苏格兰佬 a hardcore jock crew flew in.
苏格兰人? Scottish?
是McCrary兄弟 他们在西桥街借了套房子 The McCrary brothers. They took over a house in Westbridge Grove.
目前 我只知道他们受人的指示行窃 Now, all I know about'em is that they nick to order,
什么都行 通常是高档货 anything you like, usually upmarket.
油画 汽车 古玩... Paintings, cars, antiques...
我是说 也许他们来这儿是有别的目的 但是... I mean they could be here for something else, but...
值得怀疑 不是吗? It's worth asking the question, innit?
好了 你有什么计划? OK. What do you think?
唔 我们可以敲敲门 说"呀 哎 宝贝" Well, we could knock on the door, say "Och, aye, the noo,"
然后问问他们是不是刚偷了一幅毕加索 and ask 'em if they've just nicked a Picasso.
真够直接的 但我们都不知道他们的身份 It's direct. But as we don't know who they are,
这样有点冒险 I think it's a little bit foolhardy.
是的 我知道 我就喜欢这样 Yeah, I know, that's what I like about it.
"是谁?" 'Who is it?'
Ash Morgan It's Ash Morgan,
我要和你谈谈你们刚刚偷到的那幅毕加索 I need to talk to you about the Picasso you just nicked.
你把脑袋里面是浆糊吗? Have you lost your marbles?
对啊 我们的时间不多 最坏又能怎么样? Yeah. We haven't got much time. What's the worst that could happen?
他们会杀了我们! They could kill us!
哦 那至少 Mickey会知道我们曾拼死相救 Yeah, well, then at least Mickey would know we died trying.
你们还真有胆 You've got some bottle.
对 是啊 我们不得不这样 Yeah, well, needs must, and all of that.
好啊 那你们进来吧 Well, in you come, then.
你真客气 但如果你无所谓的话 That's very kind, but if it's all the same to you,
我们还是呆在这儿吧 we'll stay out here.
很公平 Fair play.
事情是这样的 The trouble is,
我的一个好朋友被Petre Sava抓了 a very good friend of mine is being held by Petre Sava,
你就是从那家伙那儿偷的毕加索 the bloke you nicked the Picasso from.
说来话长 但现在他认为是我们偷了画 Now, it's a long story, but now he thinks we got it.
他为什么这么想? And why would he think that?
因为我们告诉他是我们干的 Because we told him we did.
是的 我们当时想卖一幅赝品给他 Yeah. We were trying to sell him a fake.
我们行骗为生 We're grifters.
没错 我们是干这行的 Yeah. It's what we do.
我们读到报道说毕加索被偷了 We read about the Picasso being nicked,
所以我们伪造了一幅 卖给一个私人收藏家 so we had a copy made to sell to a private collector,
那人要求不多 one who wouldn't ask too many questions.
如果他们也读到它被偷 就会相信那是真品 If they'd read about it being stolen, they'd believe it was real.
正是这样 Exactly.
问题是 我们卖画的对象正是你偷画的对象 Trouble is, the collector we took it to was the one you'd nicked it from.
你能想象得出他有多生气 Which he wasn't very happy about, as you can imagine.
多感人的故事 我都快热泪盈眶了 It's a beautiful story, and I'm getting all misty-eyed,
但这同我们有什么关系? but what's this got to do with us?
嗯 额...如果你给我们那幅真的毕加索 Well, err... If you give us the real Picasso,
就是你从Sava那偷来的那幅 the one that you nicked from Sava,
我们就能把我们的朋友救回来了 we can go and get our mate back.
好吧 先假设我们有这幅画 Well, let's just say that we had this painting,
我并不是说我们真有 你明白的... not that I'm saying that we do, you understand...
但他是你们朋友 又不是我们的 But he's your friend, not ours.
所以跟我们有何相干? So what's in it for us?
额 说实话 我还没好好想过 你想要什么? Well, to be honest, I haven't thought that bit through. What do you want?
什么都不想要 Don't want anything.
我跟你说 I tell you what,
我可以给你两万美元然后帮你再把画偷回来 20 grand and I'll nick it straight back for you.
要知道 就冲着你这份绝对的厚颜无耻 You know, just for the sheer brass neck of you,
我有兴趣帮你摆脱困境 I'm tempted to help you out.
我最爱骗子了 尤其是漂亮的骗子 And I do love a grifter. Especially a pretty one.
但它已经不在这了 But it's already been moved on.
-去哪了? -哦 我不能告诉你 -Where? -Oh, I can't tell you that.
-你必须说 -Ash是吗? -是的 -You have to. -Ash, is it? -Yeah.
Ash Ash.
我不能说 小崽子 I can't do it, son.
我们辛苦了好些年才建立起的声誉 We've worked years to build up a reputation
靠的是完全的谨慎 based on complete discretion.
我不能为了两个骗子就将它毁了 I can't piss that up the wall for a couple of grifters.
所以我是绝不会讲的 So my lips are sealed.
好吧 如果我威胁要揍你呢? All right, what about if I threatened to beat it out of you?
我很佩服这样的想法 Then I would respect that.
我和我兄弟Neil会很好地进行自我防卫 And me and my brother Neil here, would defend ourselves as best we could,
我们会把你的脑袋拽下来煮煮吃掉 by ripping your head from the rest of your body and eating it.
很好 我就问问 Fair enough, just asking.
过得愉快 You have a nice day.
看起来我们又回到原点了 So, looks like we're back to square one.
不 不完全是 现在我们知道是谁偷了它 No, not exactly, now we know who stole it.
没错 但不知道他们是为谁偷 Yeah, but not who for.
我们还是不知道它在哪里 We still don't know where it is.
警方那边有什么消息吗 Albert? Any news from the Old Bill, Albert?
似乎他们知道的还没有我们多 It seems we know more than they do.
要是McCrary兄弟并没有把它交出去呢? What if the McCrary brothers haven't delivered it yet?
我们可以监视那间屋子 等待他们的行动 对不? We could just watch the house and wait for them to make a move, right?
要是他们明天或者下周才交货呢? What if they're delivering it tomorrow or next week?
我们只剩下4小时了 We've only got four hours left.
Petre Sava那边呢? What about Petre Sava?
对 像你说的 我的确有所发现 Well, I did some digging about, like you said.
Mickey是对的 他是一名高端艺术品收藏家 Mickey was right about him being a high-end art collector.
他的私人收藏能同大多数欧洲美术馆相匹敌 His private collection would rival most European galleries.
我们刚知道 伦敦有六家夜总会归他所有 The last we knew, he owned half a dozen nightclubs in London,
所有他肯定有问题 so he was bound to be a bit dodgy.
嗯 这是件好事 Well, that's a good thing.
没错 尤其是知道有什么问题 Yeah. Until you find out how dodgy.
-贩卖人口... -啊... -Human trafficking... -Aah...
一级毒品销售 Class A drug distribution,
还有一个保护费勒索组织 发起于罗马尼亚 and a protection racket that started in Romania,
现在已遍布八个欧洲城市 and has now spread over eight European cities.
我们要把Mickey救出来 We need to get Mickey out of there.
你把那个黑人怎么样了? So what did you do with the black guy?
他在我的汽车行李箱里 He's in the boot of my car.
-还能呼吸吗? -当然 -Can he breathe? -Sure.
至少我觉得能 At least I think so.
如果他们带不回我的画... If they don't bring me my painting...
..你认为我们是该杀了他 ..you think we should kill him,
还是在他身上切下几块? or just cut some bits off?
或者都干? Or both?
都干 Both is good.
要知道 在西方可不太切人 They don't cut people up too much in the West, you know.
同样也不太杀人 他们"给点颜色" They don't kill them very much, either. They "beat up".
但如果你只是"给点颜色" 等他们养好了 But if you just "beat up," they get better,
他们会找些朋友回来报复 they find some friends, and then they come back.
如果你切下几块肉寄给他们的朋友 If you cut bits off and post them to their friends,
这类事就不会发生了 this doesn't happen.
不会 这有效得多 No. It's more efficient.
没错 Exactly.
所以 两件事我们都干 So, both it is.
你切... You cut...
..我杀 ..I kill.
Mickey在哪? Where's Mickey?
他被一罗马尼亚匪徒绑架了 He's being held hostage by a Romanian gangster
除非我们找到一幅画着花园小猫的画 who won't release him
他是不会放人的 until we find a painting of a cat in a garden.
对 没错 是的 Yeah, right, yeah.
你们这群人可真逗 You crack me up, you lot.
多生动的想象力 像我妈过去常说的那样 Very vivid imaginations, as my mum used to say.
听着 你们的行当里也许需要这个 Mind you, you probably need them in your line of work.
干杯 Eddie Cheers, Eddie.
听着 给我们几分钟好吗?我们在思考 Look, give us a couple of minutes, will you? We're thinking.
我以为我能听听呢 哦 你有个电话 I thought I could hear something. Oh, you had a phone call.
一位女士...Molly? Nice lady... Molly?
-Dolly -Dolly 就是她 -Dolly. -Dolly. That's it.
她说她知道你们想要什么了 She said she's got what you want,
不过你必须把小可爱送过去 反正就这意思 only you have to send the cute one, whatever that means.
没门 No way.
哦...这不行 Oh... No way.
想都别想! No way!
不... No...
..行 ..way.
来啦! Ta-daa!
我不知道你喜欢红酒还是白酒 I didn't know if you liked red or white,
所以都拿来了 噢 so I brought one of each. Oh.
哈哈... Ha-ha...
好可怕 It was horrible.
-哦 你被迫做了什么? -我不想说 -So, did you actually have to? -I don't want to talk about it.
哦... Oh...
不 当然不用 No, of course not.
她掏出了她的假牙 She took her teeth out.
那么 她究竟说了什么? So, did she say anything at all?
深呼吸 Sean Take a deep breath, Sean.
也许有助于你忘掉那些画面 It might help to make the pictures go away.
Petre Sava在肯辛通的一场拍卖会上 Petre Sava bought A Small Cat In The Garden by Picasso
买下了毕加索的《花园里的小猫》 at an auction in Kensington.
他的出价高于一个名为Matthew Fairchild的私人收藏家 He outbid a private collector called Matthew Fairchild,
他是一名投资银行家 who's an investment banker,
恰巧是Louise Fairchild的父亲 and happens to be the father of Louise Fairchild,
结婚改姓前她姓Holmes whose married name is Holmes.
我们认识吗? Should we know her?
不 但你们也许听说过她丈夫 No, but you might've heard of her husband.
-Harry Holmes! -那个Harry Holmes? -Harry Holmes! -THE Harry Holmes?
恐怕是的 'Fraid so.
没事 没事的 冷静点 冷静 It's all right. It's all right, calm down. Calm down.
现在 我知道你不是软柿子... Now, I understand you're not a grass...
..我的确很欣赏男人的这种气魄 真的 ..and I admire that in a man, I really do.
我要你自己来切开 I need you to open up for me.
不然...就我来 One way...or another.
当Harry Holmes发现 When Harry Holmes found out
是Petre Sava在油画竞拍中赢了他岳父 it was Petre Sava who beat his father-in-law to the painting,
他很生气 我敢说 这有些伤了他的骄傲 he wasn't happy. It hurt his pride a bit. I bet.
我听说他像狗一样 借着结婚的机会混入了上流社会 I heard he was like a dog with two whatsits when he married into the upper classes.
他向来喜欢对打猎 射击 垂钓 He's always fancied hunting, shooting and fishing.
所以这幅画应该是跟... So the painting's about impressing
-...他的新岳父们有关? -看起来是的 -the new in-laws? -Seems like it.
也可能正是因为他们 Harry自己才能一指不动 Then maybe those in-laws are one of the reasons that Harry hasn't got his own hands dirty
就把画拿了回来 in order to get the painting back.
他雇了麦氏兄弟去帮他偷画 He paid the McCrary brothers to steal it for him instead.
Dolly就是这么说的 That's what Dolly said.
那你确定这不是枕边风? And you're sure that wasn't just pillow talk?
所以一边是凶残的欧洲黑帮 另一边是杀人狂? So on one side we've got a violent Eastern European gangster, and on the other, a homicidal maniac?
-主要看我们够不够强硬了 -那我们该怎么办? -That's about the strength of it. -So what shall we do?
直觉告诉我应该给老Bill打个电话 Sensible thing would be call the Old Bill,
告诉他事情原委 然后让他罩着我们 tell 'em what happened and throw ourselves on their mercy.
但我们不会这么做的 对吧? We're not going to do that, right?
当然不会 那我们只有用另一个法子了 No. Which leaves us with one other option.
那就是? Which is?
把画从Harry Holmes那儿偷回来 To steal the painting back from Harry Holmes.
这是Matthew Fairchild的家 This is the home of Matthew Fairchild,
Harry Holmes的岳父 father-in-law of Harry Holmes,
也就是付钱雇麦氏兄弟去偷Petre Sava的画的人 who paid the McCrery brothers to steal the Picasso Painting from Petre Sava.
我还是不敢相信你居然把它拿回来了 I still can't believe you got it back.
都是一家人 别见外 It's family, innit?
我看有的人等会儿可有福了喔 I know someone who's getting a special treat later.
Fairchild算是个藏家了 Now Fairchild's already a collector,
所以安保方面比较到位 so the security is a bit nifty.
真是个好消息 That's comforting.
他装了中央监控 重力感应板 动作捕捉器 CCTV, weight sensor pads, motion detectors,
热量侦测系统和激光防盗网 heat imaging systems and laser webs.
但是这些都得等你先放倒门口的两条大狼狗再说 That's if you can get past the two killer dogs in the grounds.
我最讨厌狗了 I hate dogs.
幸运的是 这套针对艺术品的安保系统 Luckily, although the system's state of the art,
完全是Fairchild自己设计的 it was designed by Fairchild himself.
这对我们有帮助吗? How does that help us?
这种系统也就是从设计上看看还行 Systems like this are only as good as their design,
实际上他犯了一个很低级的错误 and he's made a very common, but simple mistake.
什么错误? Which is?
本质上来说这是一个家用的监控系统 Basically it's a domestic system,
那跟别的家用警报系统一样 and like most domestic alarm systems,
它主要是为了小偷防止入室行窃而设计的 it's designed on the assumption that a theft would take place
那它要么是在家里没人的时候 either when the place is empty
要么是在月黑风高的夜里才启动 or at night under cover of darkness.
也就是说大白天有人在家的时候 警报是关掉的 Which means when they're home during the day, the alarms are switched off.
没错啊 Exactly.
谁会笨到偏偏选光天化日之下 大家都在家的时候 Because who would be stupid enough to break into a house
堂而皇之地破门而入呢? in broad daylight when everyone's at home?
'所以 只要时机选对了就万事OK 'OK, so this is all about timing.
'万事俱备 好戏开场 'Everything on cue, like a ballet.
'首先 要确定狗已服用安眠药 'Firstly, let's make sure the dogs get their sleeping pills.
'大概有20分钟的药效 'They'll last about 20 minutes.'
三...二...一! Three, two, one.
'狗睡着了 我这就就位' 'Dogs are asleep. I'm moving into position.'
Albert 准备好了? Albert, you set?
准备好了 Ready.
Emma Sean 好了吗? Emma? Sean?
准备好了 Ready.
-准备好了 -'很好' -Ready. -'OK.'
出发! Go!
女士您好 我们是来调查油画失窃案的 Hello, madam. We're investigating a stolen painting.
-你想干嘛? -例行搜查 -What are you doing? -We need to search the property.
怎么回事? What's going on?
不知道啊 I don't know.
好啊!我记住你工号了!我要去警局投诉你! I've got your number, fella! I'll be straight onto the station!
我觉得我们最好还是走吧 But I think we should get out of here.
好 我跟你一起走 Yeah. I'm with you.
别急 看! No, look!
好好好!我特么受够了! This is it, I've had enough!
很好 准备行动 All right, come on.
冷静一下 别激动 Calm down.
你让我怎么特么冷静! Don't you tell me to calm down!
好的好的 谢了 Nigel 我还欠你一根雪茄呢 All right, thanks, Nigel, don't forget I owe you a big cigar.
你只要好货?没问题 谢了 再见 A good one? Yeah, thanks, bye, bye.
有人把风声走漏给了警方 All right, the police have been tipped off,
现在警察拿走了画逮捕了Harry Holmes they've seized the painting and they've arrested Harry Holmes.
现在局面是好是坏呢? Is that good or bad?
这个么 不能说好 是吧? Well, it can't be good, can it?
等一下!这就对了呀 Wait! That's exactly what it is.
怎么会? How?
如果警察拿着画 这画本来就是Sava的 If the police have it, Sava was the rightful owner.
警方就会把画还给他呀 They'll give him back the painting.
他会让Micky去的 这不结了么! He'll let Mickey go. Job done.
Eduardo 拿点儿吃的来 Eduardo, refreshments, please.
你好? Hello?
是我 Nigel! Yes, Nigel!
好 我知道了 谢谢你的回电 非常感谢 I see. All right, thanks for taking the time to call me back, I appreciate it.
他们把Harry Holmes放了 They've released Harry Holmes.
这也太快了吧! That was quick!
他们在他家找到的画是幅赝品 Well, they found the painting in the house and it was fake.
搞什么飞机?!这不可能啊 我们知道那是真画啊 What?! That ain't possible. We know it was the original,
明明是他从Sava那儿偷来的 he had it nicked from Sava,
Sava从拍卖会买来的画嘛 who bought it at the auction.
要是赝品被盗 He wouldn't have kidnapped Mickey
他也不至于绑架Micky 再把Ash倒吊起来啊 and hung Ash upside down if he'd lost a fake!
那如果Harry手上是赝品的话 真画在哪儿呢? So if the one Harry had was a fake, where's the real one?
饮料来了 Drinks up.
-喔 谢谢你 Eddie -乐意效劳... -Oh, thank you very much, Eddie. -It's a pleasure to serve you...
嗯 非常感谢! Yeah, thank you very much!
这样根本说不通嘛 嗯 我们再好好想想 Doesn't make sense. No. Let's think about this for a minute.
我们必须先假设... We have to assume that...
麦氏兄弟从Patre Sava手上偷到的是真品 the painting the McCrary brothers nicked from Petre Sava is the real Picasso.
对的 Agreed.
但是在送到Harry Holmes和他岳父手上的时候 But by the time it got to Harry Holmes and his father-in-law,
被人掉包了 it was a fake.
-一点儿没错 -那是谁做的手脚呢? -Exactly. -So they switched it?
肯定是这样子 Can't be anything else.
那如果他们给到Harry的是赝品 So if they passed on a fake to Harry,
他们也没有别的买主要买真画 混账东西 they must've had another buyer for the real one. Robbing bastards.
所以麦氏兄弟拿着真画咯? The McCrarys have the real painting?
这是唯一说得通的解释了 That's the only thing that makes sense.
画肯定在他们手上 They must!
或者至少他们知道画在哪儿 Or at least know where it is.
-门户大开啊 -呃 我们来晚了! -The gate's wide open. -Oh, we're too late!
里里外外连个人影都看不到... There's no sign of life anywhere...
当然 他们早跑路了 No, they're long gone.
还用说么 Well, of Course.
如果你想好了在Harry Holmes眼皮底下偷梁换柱 If you're just about to stitch up Harry Holmes,
难道你还原地不动等着被抓啊 you're not gonna hang around where he can find you.
我们上次见过面以后他们肯定就搬走了 They must have moved out just after we saw them.
他们现在可能都已经回格拉斯哥了 They could be back in Glasgow by now.
-我们死定了 -是Micky死定了才对 -We're screwed. -You mean Mickey is.
等等 Wait, wait.
如果要把赝品掉包给Harry Holmes的话 If you were going to give Harry Holmes a fake,
肯定不能让他起疑心 you're not going to risk him spotting it.
所以这个赝品必须要真的能以假乱真才行 It'd have to be near-perfect.
那么 到哪儿能搞到足够以假乱真的毕加索的画呢? So - where would you go for a near-perfect copy of a Picasso?
人家也要穿衣吃饭的啊! A girl's got to earn a living!
但是你为什么不告诉我们呢 Dolly? But why didn't you tell us, Dolly?
因为我根本不知道这两件事有关联啊! Well, I didn't know there was a connection!
显而易见的事情嘛 这幅画不就是我问你的那幅嘛 It's the flaming cat in the wotsit, the painting we was asking you about!
话是这么说 但是我又不可能事事都上心 Yeah, but I can't keep track of everything,
我又不是会计 我是艺术家啊 I'm not an accountant, I'm an artist.
罢了罢了 一步步来 好不好? All right, all right. So...step by step, right?
麦氏兄弟手上的赝品是你画的对吧? You did the fake for the McCrarys, right?
-有这种可能吧 -Dolly! 别打岔! -Maybe. -Dolly! Stop messing about!
你就让他这样子跟我说话啊? Are you going to let him speak to me like that?
啊? Eh?
我还以为我们之间是有感情的呢 I thought what we had was special.
我们之间什么也没有好么! We didn't have anything!
你都摸过我的Mabel了! You touched my Mabel!
什么玩意儿? What?
那个那个 那个是她养的雪貂而已 That-That is what she calls her ferret.
-雪貂? -对啊 她在卡其布里面养的 -Ferret? -She keeps it in the khazi.
我才不会随便让人碰我的Mabel呢 I don't let just anyone touch my Mabel.
Dolly! Dolly!
哎哟 好吧好吧 Yeah, yeah, all right, all right.
我是给麦氏兄弟画了一幅赝品 I made the McCrarys a fake,
他们说他们有个买家 但是个外行 and they said that they'd got a buyer, but he was a muppet
他们说那人根本不识货 and he'd never know the difference.
是是是 那个"外行"就是Harry Holmes Yeah, well, that "muppet" is Harry Holmes.
呃 这事大了 Oh. That's not good.
是吧 你也知道大事不妙了?我现在要你告诉我 No, it's not, is it? So I need you to tell me
麦氏兄弟到底把真品弄到哪儿去了 what the McCrarys were doing with the real Picasso.
他们当时是说了点儿关于新买家的事情 They did say something about a new buyer.
是谁? Who?
我不知道啊 I don't know.
他们到底说了些什么?提到了什么名字了吗? Did they say anything at all? Mention any names?
没有 No.
罢了罢了 呃 那这幅赝品... OK, right, well, the, er, the fake...
那你画完了以后 是他们亲自来你这儿取的? so, when you'd finished it, did they collect it from here?
-这倒没有 -那是怎么交易的呢? -No. -So how did you get it to them?
我把画包好叫出租车送走的 I had to parcel it up and send it in a cab.
很好 画被送到哪儿去了呢? Right. Where to?
我记不得了呀 I don't remember.
Dolly!这点很关键的啊! Dolly! This is important.
你们想想看 我压力山大啊! Look, it's all this pressure!
你们一个个直勾勾盯着我 我根本没法正常思考! I can't think straight with you all looking at me!
-那我们不看你总行了吧? -可以,除了他 -Would it help if we all just looked away? -Yes. Except him.
哦 Dolly你就省省吧 Oh, come on, Dolly!
噢...噢! Oh. Oh!
一点杜松子酒能让我醒醒脑 Maybe a gin might do it.
能让我放松点儿 It helps me to relax.
还有什么线索? What do we have with it?
再来点儿 More gin.
-给她吧 -谢谢 -Go. -Thank you.
画是送去一家酒店的 It was a hotel.
很好 哪家? Good. Which one?
在城西的一家酒店 Up west.
酒店名字? Name.
再来一杯 Have another gin.
再喝下去她醉倒了我们问谁去? She's no use to us if she passes out, is she?
我不是好好的吗 你急什么! I am here, you know!
我想... I could, er...
我可以在那边给我们开个房间... I could book us a room while I was there.
叫Goodridge 在泰晤士河南岸那一带 It was the Goodridge on the South Bank.
帮我看看他们有没有四柱床哦! See if they've got a four-poster!
他还活着吗? Is he still alive?
活着 老板 Yes, boss.
你的朋友们只剩两个小时了 You know your friends have two hours to return with my painting.
如果他们来迟了 If they are late,
每过十分钟我就切掉你身体的一部分 直到他们出现 we cut off something every ten minutes until they get here.
如果再过两个小时他们还不来的话 If they are not here in two hours,
你就是个死虾子了 we kill whatever is left.
你觉得怎么样? What do you think of that?
要不要我把他嘴上封条揭下来 让他说说他的想法? Do you want me to take his gag off? So he can tell you what he thinks?
不用不用 No, no.
我很善于与人打交道的 这不过是个反问罢了 I'm a people person, it was a rhetorical question,
我知道他怎么想的 I know what he thinks.
你真知道? You do?
他在想啊 要是他们能按时赶到就好了 He is thinking he hopes his friends come before we cut anything off.
哦 Oh.
也有可能他在想 Then maybe he's thinking about
我们会按什么顺序从哪儿开始切他呢? what we will cut off, and in what order.
是吧? True?
你说他们还在这儿吗? Do you think they're still here?
Albert, 这个前台你认不认识? Albert, do you know the concierge?
认识 他叫Anthony... Yes. Anthony...
等我一下 Excuse me a moment.
Dolly把赝品寄到这儿来了 I thought Dolly sent the fake painting here.
当然了 是麦氏兄弟要的呀 Yes, the McCrary brothers needed a fake
把假的给Harry Holmes 而不是真的 to give to Harry Holmes, not the real one.
所以说真画有可能还在这儿咯? So the real one could be here?
只有一个办法能弄清楚了 There's only one way to find out.
好了 他们今晚在这儿住 All right. They're staying overnight,
已经定好了明早去机场的车 they've booked a car tomorrow morning to go to the airport.
现在他们正在酒吧喝酒呢 And right now, they're in the bar.
他们看起来好像没带东西嘛 They don't look like they've got anything with them.
-他们住哪间房 Albert? -624 -What room are they in, Albert? -624.
他们见过我和Ems 所以我们上去检查房间 They've seen me and Ems, so we'll check the room,
-你盯住他们 如果他们要走提前告诉我 -好嘞 -you keep an eye on 'em, give us a heads up if they move. -All right.
-我们时间不多 -你从那边找 -好 -We haven't got a lot of time. -You go that way. -Yeah.
不在这儿 It's not here.
是我搞砸了 对吧? I'm making a real pig's ear of this, aren't I?
每次都是Micky把我们弄出来的 All those times Mickey's bailed us out,
我却连一幅画都找不到 I can't even find a painting.
我们会找到了 时间问题罢了 We'll find it, it's just a matter of time.
我们没时间了啊 只剩一个小时不到了 Time we haven't got. It's less than an hour now.
现在怎么办? Know what?
我还不如全副武装的去Sava家试试看 I'd rather get tooled up, go to Sava's and take me chances.
你不能那么做 You can't do that.
好吧 但是现在这个我也做不来啊 Yeah, well, I can't do this either.
失败是成功之母嘛 加把油 It's a setback, but come on,
你跟Micky一样厉害的 you're just as smart as Mickey.
对 麦氏兄弟还在楼下呢 Right. The McCrary brothers are still downstairs.
我们再下去找他们谈谈 Let's just go and try to talk to them again.
我们会成功的 走吧! We can get through this. Let's go.
嗯 这就对了 Now, that's clever.
看吧 我就说我们能成功的 See? I told you we'd get it!
你们特么是谁? Who the hell are you?
我来帮你们捋捋清楚 So let me get this straight.
Sava扣住了你们的同伴 让你们把画还给他 Sava is holding your mate until you bring him this.
对 Yeah.
他不知道是我把画偷走了 他以为是你偷的? And he doesn't know it was me who nicked the painting? He thinks it was you.
这回你可真是阴沟里翻船了啊 宝贝儿 Sounds like you're up shit creek and left the paddle at home, sunshine.
我算是修成了正果了 And I have had a right result.
就告诉我一件事 Just tell me one thing.
你们怎么知道画在这儿? How did you know it was here?
我们不知道啊 We didn't.
我们只是找到麦氏兄弟 然后顺藤摸瓜放手一搏 We just found the McCrarys and hoped for the best.
是 那俩孙子可是把我耍的团团转啊 Yeah, well those two stitched me right up.
要只是卖幅假画给我也就罢了 Didn't just sell me a moody painting,
他们让我在我老婆的家人面前丢多大人啊 they made me look like a prat in front of my wife's family.
他们人呢? Where are they?
不知道啊 我们进来的时候没人 No idea, there was no-one in the room when we got here.
好 看起来你们并没有碍我的事 我对你们也无所求 All right, seems to me you two haven't done me any harm, you've got nothing I need,
你们的烦心事儿已经够多了 出去吧 and you've got enough to worry about. So get out.
在我没改主意之前快滚吧 Go on, sling your hook before I change my mind.
我们不能就这么一走了之 We can't do that.
-是么? -是的 -Oh, yeah? -No.
没有这幅画的话 Without the painting,
Petre Sava不会放了我朋友的 Petre Sava's not gonna let our mate go.
所以我不管你是谁 So, I don't care who you are.
没有拿到画我是不会走的 I ain't leaving without it.
这就是你的下限? And that's your final word?
没错 Yeah, it is.
别这样! No, don't!
喔... Oohh...
Ash 这可不是明智之举啊 Ash. That wasn't very smart.
我们有备选方案吗? So have we got a plan B?
-只是方案一的修正版罢了 -是啊? -Well, it's more like plan A revisited. -Eh?
Harry肯定会带着画回家找他岳父邀功请赏的 Harry will take the painting back to his father-in-law's like a hero.
而且我们之前已经有一个方案了 And we've got a plan
-就是上他家偷画 -聪明! -to steal it back from there. -Clever.
就是啊!但更重要的是Harry必须马上到家才行 Yeah, more importantly, we need Harry back at the house pronto,
而他要去找麦氏兄弟的话肯定会耽搁 and finding the McCrary boys will only slow him down.
我们要确保他现在就走 So let's make sure he has to leave now.
对 Right.
好戏上演 记得么? Like a ballet, remember?
-各就各位了? -是 -We all set? -Ready.
就位 Set.
我准备好了 I'm ready.
好了 Right.
出发! Go!
你确定这次的是真品没错? And you're sure it's definitely the real one this time?
-当然 -爱死你了 我都等不及了 -Oh, yeah. -Ooh, I love you so much, I could burst.
我来开 I'll get it.
哪位? Hello?
你好 不好意思 Hi, I'm really sorry,
我们家Bobby刚跑到你院子里去了 but my Bobby has just run into your garden.
-Bobby? -哦 是一只白色的比熊 -Bobby? -He's a white Bichon Frise.
-喔 -我就是怕你家也养狗了 -我家养狗 -Oh. -Only I was worried in case you had dogs. -We do!
哦 Oh.
不是吧 嗯... No. Um...
Bobby!宝贝儿 出来出来 Bobby! Darling, come on!
等一下 我跟你一起去 Wait, I'll come with you.
好 两个人在客厅 OK, two in the viewing room.
是时候把他们分开了 'Time to split 'em up.'
Bobby!出来! Bobby! Bobby!
你好?Fairchild Hello? Fairchild.
我是纽约的Paul Holland Paul Holland from New York.
'我们之前开会的时候认识的 'We met at an awful meet
'上个月在伦敦也见过面' 'and greet in London last month.'
你不记得我啦? You do remember?
这边我们已经找了两次了 We've been through here twice before.
它可能就在这堆树丛里 Bobby! He could be under any of these bushes. Bobby!
好了 Ash 只剩一个了 OK, Ash, one left over.
很好 Ash 干得漂亮 OK, Ash, good to go, mate.
-那儿! -什么? -There! -What?
我听见有声音 这边! I heard something! This way!
Bobby! Bobby!
是啊 嗯哼 是的 Yes. Uh-huh. Yes.
'这让我回到我的另一个观点...' 'Which brings me to my other point...'
是的 当然 我很有兴趣... Yes, of course,I'd be interested in looking...
是的 没错 Yes, exactly.
要知道 如果你在第一个半小时内没找到他们... You know, if you don't find them in the first half...
你知道 你可能... 抱歉 You know, you might...excuse me.
哦 怎么? Oh. Yes?
该走了 Time to go.
-噢 太棒了 -噢 太谢谢你了 亲爱的 Oh, that's amazing. Oh, thank you, darling, so much.
-是的 我现在就回来 -好吧 -Yes, I'm coming back now. -All right.
他找到回家的路了 他真是个聪明孩子 He found his way home! He's such a clever baby!
真的很感谢你的帮忙 Oh, thank you so much for helping.
-没关系 不客气 -再见! 再见! -It's fine. It's fine. -Bye, bye! Bye!
'..或许明天你可以打我办公室的电话 '..perhaps you can call me at my office tomorrow,
'我们可以做出一些规划...' 'and I can draw out some projections...'
对不起Mattew 参议员在另外一条线上 Sorry, Matthew, I got the Senator on the other line,
我得听电话 I've got to take it.
-再联络 -非常感谢 -I'll be in touch, -thank you so much.
回家 James 别心疼你的马! Home, James, and don't spare the horses!
你不会相信我在花园在干什么 You won't believe what I've been doing in the garden.
我一直在追... I've been chasing...
噢 不会吧 Oh, no.
是的 我拿到了 是的 真的那幅 Yeah, I've got it. Yeah, the real one.
半小时后 在你丢下我的地方见面 The same place as you left me in half an hour.
但是如果Mickey不在那儿 But if Mickey's not there,
这桩买卖就谈不成了... the deal's off...
好吧 OK.
半个小时 Half hour.
好吧 都搞定了 半小时后在仓库见 Well? All set. We'll meet back at the warehouse in half an hour.
我们交给他们真画 We give 'em the real painting,
他们把Mickey还给我们 they give us Mickey.
但我们能相信他们吗? But can we trust them?
老实讲 Albert 我不知道 The honest truth is, Albert, I don't know.
如果Harry猜到是我们 What if Harry realises it was us?
-这个我也不知道 -如果...? -I don't know that either. -What happens if...
我们先把Mickey救回来 Let's get Mickey back first,
再担心其他的事情 好不好? and worry about everything else later, yeah?
这个计划可行 Sounds like a plan.
好吧 首先我得先喝一杯 Yeah, well, first, I need a drink.
拿酒来 Set 'em up.
你们来了! There you are!
疯子Dolly告诉我们在哪里能找到你们 Mad Dolly told us where to find you.
哦? Oh?
在宾馆里的是你吧 是不是? That was you at the hotel, wasn't it?
宾馆? Hotel?
我看见你离开的 I saw you leaving.
你们是正好经过吗? Just passing, were you?
没错 是的 我们 额... That's right, yeah, we erm...
我们知道了你们在哪里 Well, we found out where you were
我们想再试一次 你懂得 试图说服你们... and we thought we'd try again, you know, to convince you to...
让我们把画带走 let us take the painting.
我也是这么想的 That's what I thought.
也就是说是你们触响了警铃 是不是? So it was you guys that set off the alarm, was it?
是啊 是 我们... Yeah, yeah, we...
我跟你们说的没错吧? What did I tell you?
所以我们到这来 想要谢谢你们的! That's why we're here, we wanted to say thank you!
哦? Eh?
听着 我不知道你们为什么要那么做 去触发警铃 Look, I don't know why you hit the alarm when you did,
但是如果你们没那么做的话 but if you hadn't,
我们就还在那里得意 we'd have just waltzed up there
而Harry Holmes在我们房里 and found Harry Holmes in our room.
噢 是的 不要客气 Yeah, well, you know, don't mention it.
到底发生了什么事? So what happened?
你找到了我们 You found us
然后看见Harry和他那伙人也在那 对不对? and then you saw Harry and his goons there too, right?
对的 是 于是... 我们就赶快逃走 That's right, yeah. So...we legged it.
但是我们不想丢下你们不管... Only we didn't want to drop you in it, so...
所以就触动了警铃 So we hit the alarm.
我只知道要不是你们 我们就完蛋了 Look. All I know is if it wasn't for you guys we would be screwed.
所以 真的很感谢你们 So, thank you.
别客气 我希望你们也会为我们这么做 It's a pleasure, I hope you'd do the same for us.
噢 那当然! Oh, absolutely!
好吧 这边请 Well, there you go.
我们很想留下来跟你们一起喝杯啤酒 We'd love to stay and have a beer with you,
但是我们要去赶飞机 but we have a flight to catch.
我们要回家 开始花这笔钱了 We've got to get home and make a start on spending this.
四十万... 这幅画 400 grand...for the painting.
画? The painting?
毕加索的 The Picasso.
我们卖给Harry一幅Dolly的伪造品 We sold Harry one of the duds Dolly made.
是啊 我听说了 所以他在找你们 Yeah, I heard. That's why he was looking for you.
哦 那还用说 Oh, no doubt.
但是我们还有另外一个买主等候买一幅真品 But we also had another buyer lined up for the real one.
一个德国佬 German guy.
等一下 Wait.
你说你将"其中一幅赝品"卖给Harry? You said you sold "one of the duds" to Harry?
你还卖了一幅伪造品给德国人? So you sold a dud to the German too?
不是的 他拿到的是真品 他出价最高的 No, no, he got the real thing. Bid the highest you see.
不是 我们让Dolly画了两幅赝品 No, we had Dolly make two duds.
其中的一幅卖给了Harry We sold one to Harry,
另外一幅我们准备卖给一个在宾馆酒吧的澳洲家伙 and the other we were going to sell to some Aussie guy in the hotel bar,
可是他没出现 but he was a no show.
是吗 但是你不可能已经把真的卖掉了 Yeah, yeah, but you can't have sold the real one,
因为Harry发现它在你们的房间里 because Harry found it in your room.
那他回到家肯定要大失所望了 He would have been pretty disappointed when he got home.
-呃? -我们今天下午就跟这个德国家伙成交了 Eh? Did the deal with the German guy this afternoon,
比Harry找到我们要早很多 long before Harry found us.
如果他在我们房间里看到那幅画 那是另一幅仿造品 If he found a painting in our room, it was the other dud.
糟了 我想起来我们把它挂墙上了 Shit, I think we actually hung it up on the wall.
我们把它留在那儿 当做给宾馆的一点小礼物 We were leaving it as a wee present for the hotel.
听着 我说过了 我们来就是要谢谢你们 Look, like I said, we just came here to say thank you.
哦 顺便问一下 你们朋友的事情进行的怎么样? Oh, by the way, how did, er... How did things pan out with your friend?
噢 我们... 我们还在进行当中 Oh, well, we're, er...We're still working on it.
好吧 祝你们顺利 Well, good luck with that.
加油 Cheers.
就是说 我们偷了另一幅赝品? So we stole another fake?
你告诉Sava我们有半小时 You told Sava we had half an hour.
我们只有十五分钟了 We've got 15 minutes.
现在怎么办? So what do we do now?
给你 伙计 Here you are, mate.
当你置身于法律之外 游走在社会边缘 When you live outside the law, on the fringes of society,
你总是会碰到这样的日子 you're always going to have days like this.
你称之为办公室里糟糕的一天 What you might call a bad day in the office.
最重要的是不要慌 Well, the thing is not to panic.
因为那种人 像猎狗一样 Because people like this lot, they're like dogs,
他们能嗅到恐惧 they can smell fear.
所以对策就是让他们以为 你知道些他们不知道的事 So the trick is to make them think you know something they don't.
这样一来在他们还没搞清楚怎么回事之前 That way they'll generally hold off killing you
他们就不会急着杀了你 while they try and work out what it is.
画带来了吗? You have brought my painting?
-你把我的朋友带来了吗? -先看画 -You brought my friend? -Painting first.
先把朋友交给我们 否则没什么好谈的 Friend first or there's no deal.
我想你们这种处境没资格讨价还价 是不是? I don't think you're in a position to negotiate, do you?
如果你这么认为 那你就大错特错了 If you believe that, it could be the worst mistake you ever made.
我见我的朋友...然后你看你的画 I see my friend...you see your painting.
轮到你了 Now your turn.
好吧 我的画在哪里? Right. Who's got my painting?
这不关你的事 Harry This is none of your business, Harry.
那我就让它关我的事 Boris Well, I'm making it my business, Boris,
这么久以来 我一直围着你团团转 I've been dancing around you lot for too long.
我不叫Boris My name is not Boris.
我说你是你就是 It is when I'm talking to you.
你知道 叫我Boris是一种种族歧视 You know, calling me Boris is racist.
算你倒霉 Tough.
呃... 对不起 我们可以继续我们的事吗? Er, excuse me, can we, er...Can we get on with this, please?
这儿有你什么事儿? What are you doing here?
你以为我干嘛来这儿出风头? What do you think I'm flaming doing here?
我是来交易这幅画的... I've come to swap this painting...
替同伴来的 for my mate.
-这是我的画 -非也 是我的才对 -That is my painting. -No. My painting.
-我正大光明搞来的 -现在我要拿回来 -I nicked it, fair and square. -And now I'm getting it back.
有完没完! That's enough!
-你丫吼谁呢? -吼你! -Who you shouting at? You!
你们俩！ The pair of you!
你们有听说过什么叫盗亦有道吗? Have you never heard of honour amongst thieves?
你们同行间没有过点头称赞的欣赏吗? Some kind of nodding appreciation amongst your peers?
你们还没断奶啊 You're like a couple of five-year-olds.
"小姐 拜托了 他抢我的画" 多可悲 "Please, Miss, he's nicked my painting." It's pathetic.
-我受够你们俩了! -拿画呀 -And I've had it with both of you! -Get the painting.
啊 啊 啊! Ah, ah, ah!
子弹曾刷刷的从我眼前飞过 I've had a gun shoved up me hooter,
我还被倒吊起来 been hung upside down
还被踢到半空去过 and kicked up in the air.
我跑遍半个伦敦的途中 被3个国籍的势力威胁过 I've been threatened by at least three nationalities
就为了这幅破画 画的是某个后院里有只小猫 while running around half of London chasing some stupid picture of a cat in someone's back garden
看上去就像个糖吃多了的3岁小孩的信手涂鸦 that looks like it was done by a three-year-old on a sugar rush.
我被骗过 蒙过 还被老是被骂 I've been lied to, cheated and generally abused
就是因为我和这几个同伴想要赚个童叟无欺的名声 just because me and my mate here were trying to earn an honest crust
而这个Rasputin却神经到绑架了他 when Rasputin here went and kidnapped him.
喂 Rasputin还不如Boris好呢 Hey. Rasputin is worse than Boris.
我说了 闭嘴! I said, shut it!
现在我不知道谁画该给谁了 说实话 Now, I don't know whose painting this is and, to be quite honest,I don't give a flying toss!
我今天过得很糟糕! I've had a very bad day!
你知道你在和谁说话么? Do you know who you're talking to?
管他是谁 Never mind who I'm talking to.
你该担心的是我们是什么人物 小子 You ought to worry about who we are, son.
咱是骗子 哦耶 We're grifters. Yeah.
站这的这家伙 埃菲尔铁塔是他卖的 This bloke over here. He's sold the Eiffel Tower,
威斯敏斯特宫和悉尼歌剧院也是 the Palace Of Westminster and the Sydney Opera House.
我们让银行破产 搞垮企业 收拾政党 We broke banks, companies and political parties.
我们欺负拉斯维加斯黑手党 We took on the mafia in Las Vegas
还把伦敦政治保安处整得像一群饭桶 and we made the London Special Branch look like the Keystone Cops.
还想吓唬我们?省省吧! So never mind about you two threatening us!
现在是我在威胁你们! Now, I'm threatening you!
我们会拿你们作消遣 We're going to make you our hobby.
花几个通宵 想办法把你们榨干 把你们掏空 Spend sleepless nights working out how to take away everything from you, every penny.
你要担心的远不止这副该死的狗屁画 It won't be just a sodding painting you have to worry about,
好好盘算晚上要在哪儿落脚吧 you'll be working out where you're going to sleep at night.
因为我们要把你们给掏干净了 Because we're going to pick you clean.
我们会把你们骨头上的肉剔个精光 We'll strip every bit of flesh off the bone.
说得好 我就一个问题 Nice speech. I got just one question.
嗯 说? Yeah, what's that?
你们这群家伙要是死了 还怎么做事呢? How are you lot going to do that, when you're dead?
很好 Very good.
现在 把我的画给我 Now, give me my painting.
不 不 把我的画给我才是 No. No. You give me MY painting.
有些人就是不听话 对吧? Some people never listen, do they?
跟你们讲... I tell you what...
你们自己解决 you can sort it out amongst yourselves.
把它踢到旁边去! 嗯 就是这样 Get it round the side! Yeah, that's it.
瞧你在干嘛! Watch what you're doing!
别伤到画! Don't damage it!
电话也不来个 手信也没有 You didn't phone, you didn't write.
对不起啦 我一直束手束脚的 Sorry, mate, I've been a bit tied up.
是那谁吗? Is that who I think it is?
嗯 Harry Holmes Harry Holmes, yeah.
还好他出现了 Good job he turned up.
嗯 额...我打给他的 Yeah, well...I phoned him.
-你打给他? -嗯 -You phoned him? -Yeah.
那我们现在干嘛? So what do we do now?
喂 Harry? Hello. Harry?
你想鸡道McCrary兄弟瞒着你干了咩勾当吗? Would you be interested to know who the McCrary boys were working for when they double-crossed you?
系啊 我鸡道啊 你有笔吗? Aye, I do know. Have you got a pen?
看好画啊 行不行啊? Just watch the painting, will ya?
他们好像不对付 They don't seem to like each other very much.
嗯 那个 我 呃...我给另一个也打了电话 No, well, I er...I phoned the other one 'an all.
Harry Holmes Harry Holmes.
嗯 他骗了偶的一个朋友啦 Yes, he cheated a friend of mine.
所以当偶发现素他偷了你的画呢 So when I found out he stole your painting,
偶就想要打给你啦 I thought it right to call you.
而且我还打给老Bill以防情势失控 And I phoned the Old Bill in case it went pear-shaped.
他们随时会到 They should be here any minute.
我拿到了! I've got it!
噢 那是毕加索真迹吗? Oh. Is that the real Picasso?
不 不 不 不是 是赝品 Oh, no, no. No, that's a fake.
伙计们 我能...我能问个问题吗? Guys. Can I... Can I ask a question?
嗯嗯 问吧 Yeah, yeah.
我是说 我不想听起来不领情或者怎样 I mean, I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything.
没事儿 No, it's OK.
弄到真迹的话 会不会轻松一点啊? Wouldn't it have been simpler to get the real painting?
当我没说 It's OK.
-干杯 Ed -谢谢你 -Cheers, Ed. -Thank you.
那么 没人找我们吗? So no-one's looking for us?
没有 没有 你看 他们都以为 No. No, you see, they both thought that the original was damaged
真迹在仓库里干架的时候毁掉了 in the fight at the warehouse.
而不管Petre Sava But neither Petre Sava
还是Harry Holmes都丢不起这个脸 nor Harry Holmes could afford to lose face.
所以他们只能各自伪造一幅 挽回脸面 So the only way they could save face was to have a fake each.
那样的话 他们都能说自己赢了 面子上也过得去了 That way, they could both say they won and honour is restored.
然后从此他们就永远和睦相处了 And they all get to live happily ever after.
下面一点 啊 Down. Ah.
嗯 你懂的 有多和睦就多和睦 Yeah, well, you know, happy as they can be.
太完美了 Perfect.
貌似McCrary兄弟才是唯一的赢家 It seems the only winners are the McCrary boys.
-此话怎讲 -他们就拿了40万块而已 -Tell me about it. -They just walked off with 400 grand.
喔喔 他们把钱都拿走也不打紧 Whoa, they might get to go with all the money
可我们把Mickey这块宝找回来了啊 but we got something much more precious. We got Mickey back.
哦对 有道理 Oh, yes, that's true.
-对 -啊 谢谢各位 -友谊无价 -Yeah. -Ah. Thanks, guys. -You can't put a price on friendship.
非要定个价么 大概也就40万 But if you could, it'd be about 400 grand.
别理他 你不在他六神无主哦 Ignore him - he was beside himself when you were gone.
大家都怪他 他自我厌恶透了 He was taking all the blame, he was full of self-loathing.
-看得人心碎啊 真的 -嗯 嗯 -Really heartbreaking to watch.It was. -Yeah, yeah.
我们什么也没挣着 We made no money,
不过除了几块淤青 还算平安无事 but apart from the odd bruise, everything turned out OK.
嗯 说的是 Yes, it did.
Ash 我得问你 Ash, I've got to ask you,
你真的在仓库里拿那帮匪徒没办法? did you really lose it with those gangsters at the warehouse?
我们当时别无他法 We hadn't got a lot of options at that point,
-所以我就想说点米式胡话 -哦 对 对 对 -so I thought I'd do a bit of Mickey waffle. -Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
"米式胡话"? "Mickey waffle"?
嗯 就是那种说了半天 等于什么也没说啊 Yeah, you know that thing where you talk a lot but don't actually say anything.
不好意思 不 我又不说胡话 Sorry, no, I do not "waffle".
-偶尔 -什么时候? -You do a bit. -When?
通常是你知道你有错 但你死不承认的时候 When? Usually when you know you're wrong but you won't admit it.
抱歉 抱歉 那怎么会是胡话呢 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but that's far from waffling,
只不过是我呈现合理论点的方式 that's just my way of presenting a reasoned argument.
基本上 是一种拿出事实的方式 Ash A way of putting forward the facts, which in the main, Ash,
抱歉地说 这点你就做不到 I'm sorry to say, is something you fail to do.
你更喜欢用动人的花言巧语来表达观点 You prefer to use emotional rhetoric littered with expletives
还夹杂三字经 to make your point.
不 是真的 是真的 No, it's true, it's true.
那不是"胡话" That was NOT "waffling".
还不如把我关在后备箱里呢 I wish you'd left me in the boot now.
-额 可以啊 -我把明天的报纸给你们拿来了 -Well, it can be arranged. -I brought you tomorrow's papers.
哦 乌拉 Oh, cheers.
又是那个小鸟依人的Dolly That was that Dolly bird again.
我本来想在你说胡话的时候朝你大吼来着 I was going to give you a shout but you were waffling.
-好的 Ed -我没说胡话 -当然没有 -Cheers, Ed. -I wasn't waffling. -Course not.
额...这女人... Erm...this Dolly...
她在电话里听起来超媚的 她如何? she sounds a bit of all right on the phone. What's she like?
哦 现在...现在...她很特别哦 Oh, now...now...she is special.
是吧?靓吗? Yeah? Is she a looker?
哦...当然啦 Oh...definitely.
她很靓吗? Is she a looker?
一口可爱的牙齿 对吧 Sean? Got a lovely set of teeth, hasn't she, Sean?
迷死人了 Amazing.
我们才聊了几句 我们很投机 Only we had a little bit of a chat. We got on like a house on fire.
我猜她在调情 当时她 呃... Think she was flirting a bit when she, er...
她刚开口的时候 她说她喜欢我的口音 那么 when she rang earlier, you know, she said she liked me accent and that so,
额...你懂的... er...so you know...
-该试它一试 -"它"? -might have a crack at it like. -"It"?
嗯 嗯 你不介意吧? Yeah, yeah, you don't mind, do you?
我可不想惹到谁 I don't want to tread on anyone's toes.
没 很好啊 你去试试"它"好了 No. Good for you, you go for "it".
她邀我出来喝一杯 She's invited me round for a drink.
-哦? -Edward 你们是天造地设的一对 -Yeah? -Edward. This is a match made in heaven.
你这么觉得? You think so?
绝对的 你随意 小子 Absolutely. You knock yourself out, son.
好类 各位 我要是泡上了会告诉你们的 Cheers, guys. I'll let you know how I get on.
-觉不觉得残忍了点? -嗯 有点吧 -Do you think that was a bit cruel? -Yeah. Probably.
哦 听好这个 Oh, listen to this.
上面说伦敦市中心的一家画廊 It says here that a Mondrian was stolen
有幅蒙德里安的画被盗 from a gallery in Central London,
估价有230万镑 and it's valued at ￡2.3 million.
Tucker还做不做蒙德里安的赝品? Doesn't Tucker still do fake Mondrians?
-开玩笑啦 -哦耶! -It was a joke. -Yeah!
-瞧瞧你们的脸色的 -啊喂! -Should've seen your faces. -Oi!