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鬼呀
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師父
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長毛
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你來找我幹甚麼？師父
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我只是順便過來看看你
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你有空可別到處亂跑
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大家都陰陽相隔了
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是呀, 陰陽相隔
人鬼殊途師父
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我跟你以前的恩恩怨怨
就用“立可白”把它塗掉吧, 師父
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好呀…大家塵歸塵、土歸土
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是呀
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你對師父好, 師父心領了
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回去吧…
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師父, 你對長毛好
長毛也就心領了
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你也回去吧
不要再回頭了, 師父
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師父, 你怎麼還不走呀？
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我不知道怎麼走
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嗖一聲不就走了
你穿過那道牆就可以了
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師父不是你那種
我是一步一步走的那種
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原來可以這麼張揚
的進進出出呀, 師父
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我看你還是回去吧
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我當然要回去了
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真沒想到師父一來你就死了
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我甚麼時候死了？
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你有下巴
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你有鬍子
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你沒死
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長毛
師父
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師父…
長毛…
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好了沒有？
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二號枱的牛排等了很久了
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你到底行不行？
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我還是求田師傅別到法國去了
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這麼說就是不信任我了
也就是侮辱我
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你也太看不起我了
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對不起啦, SORRY啦
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我收回我剛才說的那句話
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請你快一點
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來了, 黑椒牛排來了
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快點…煮得冒煙
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我…我還是求田師傅
別到法國去了
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不用求了, 我決定不去法國了
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因為我師父沒有死
他還來看我了
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是嗎？
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你師父老人家在哪裡
我跟他打個招呼
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好呀
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各位大家好
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別擋著我, 小弟弟
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老人家在哪裡呀？
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我不是老人家
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我是超級無敵天才神童小廚師
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人稱超級無敵天才
神童小廚師就是我了
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師父, 失敬…
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不知道你有沒有短一點的稱呼呢？
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名字不重要, 叫何師傅
不用叫姓, 叫小壬
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相信大家都聽不清楚
我師父姓甚麼名甚麼
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聽到, 他叫何小人
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SORRY, 師父
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其實一個人的名字並不重要
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最重要的是有沒有本事
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說到我師父
可不是等閒之輩
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他四就開始燒菜了
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五歲就拿到…
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師父你自己說吧
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這算得了甚麼？
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我只不過八歲開始
連著五屆拿到金鍋鏟大獎
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可是我不想再贏下去了
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我十四歲那年
就到法國去深造了
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正好有個世界大賽
他也去湊這個熱鬧
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又讓他拿到世界冠軍
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所以只好留在法國
給法國總統做御廚了
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你說多困身是嗎？
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真可憐
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我好不容易才求到法國總統
桑保索拉之讓我退休
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否則我不可能在三十歲之前
拿到這麼多退休金
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原來田師傅的師父這麼厲害
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田師傅的師父
你能不能告訴我們
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你是怎麼收田師傅為徒的呢？
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我在李鄭屋村的菜市場撿回來的
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那爽爽呢, 爽爽呢？
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是呀
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在荔園旋轉木馬的下面撿來的
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他們笑甚麼？
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他們以為你開玩笑
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你們笑甚麼笑得這麼開心？
86
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女徒弟回來了
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你們已經見過面了？
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我看你現在應該告訴我
你在搞甚麼鬼
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師父, 抓爽爽
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玩捉人呀？
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來…等我呀
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我們去不去抓她？
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這…
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別跑
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你別跑
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讓我抓到叫你好看
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師父快點
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師父
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來個紅豆糕
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挺新鮮
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救命呀…
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師父
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我抓到了
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好棒
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爽爽, 該你抓我們
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不要呀師父, 叫她揹我們回去
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也好
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也揹我, 我要壓死你
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死了沒有？
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去死吧
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沒有用
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師公他這麼教訓徒弟法
實在太殘酷了
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簡直就像那個電話屠夫似的, 師父
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做得好, 師父做得好
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難叫她那麼整我
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就算用滿清十大酷刑來修理她
也嫌太輕了
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我要加刑
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師父, 你把她綁起來一塊打
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師父, 你不要緊吧？
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起來
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爽爽說你死了, 你還跟她打電動？
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對了, 我問你
我好好的你怎麼說我死了？
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我…
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我剛剛把你打死了
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剛才我還贏你
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再來一次, 再來…我們再打
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師父可以算了, 我可不能算
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說甚麼懷了我的孩子
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你怎麼？又想作怪呀？
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我不會再相信你了, 打死你
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我沒有作怪, 你不要再打了
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你再打的話, 打傷小吉怎麼辦？
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你還提小吉
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還敢提小吉
你這個謊話都揭穿了, 還小吉
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我說師父死了是假的
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這點我可以證明
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我現在活生生的
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我們上過床是真的
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你…
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是你灌醉我, 是你污辱了我
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不管誰污辱誰都過去了, 算了
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你現在是不是想不認帳？
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你…
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實在太離譜了
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你…
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你們居然做出這種事
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師父, 是我的錯
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是我不對, 對不起
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當然你不對了
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下次玩上床, 叫我一起玩
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師公, 你到底知不知道
他們在說甚麼？
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上床, 不是新出的遊戲嗎？
153
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你搞得人家的肚子很不舒服
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你快點扶人家進去休息
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你玩去, 還要我伺候你
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師妹有事, 當然師兄伺候了
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快去
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師父, 進來
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你在童軍總會的東西全搬來沒有？
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要是還沒有
我馬上幫你搬過來好嗎？
161
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甚麼叫上床？
162
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師父, 你今天就睡在我的房間
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我到小丁房裡跟他擠, 晚安
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你別走, 甚麼是上床？
165
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上床是嗎？
166
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基本上床呢
有分小童床、單人床、雙人床
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QUEEN SIZE、KING SIZE
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還有雙層床
169
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如果你爬過雙層床的上層
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那你就跟床發生關係了
就是這麼簡單
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不對呀
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我每天上床下床忙著跟床打交道
可是我…
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我不覺得跟床有甚麼關係
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怎麼搞的？師父
175
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,360
叫你燒菜你棒得很
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這麼簡單的事, 你居然不懂
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就是說甚麼都不懂
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夜闌人靜驀然回首
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覺得自己浪費太多時間在烹飪上
180
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所謂童年和青少年都失去了
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現在又到了中年, 甚麼都不會
182
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所以我決定重新拾回我的青春
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尋找我的理想
184
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,040
那麼當童子軍
也是你尋找的理想了
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是資深童子軍, 長毛
186
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,360
資深童子軍
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還有
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還有全世界最美麗的東西可以尋找
189
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,280
師父, 衛生紙不用尋找
我多得是
190
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,520
你愛用多少就用多少吧
隨便用, 別客氣
191
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:22,640
不是衛生紙
192
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,400
是送這張紙巾給我的那個小姐
193
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,480
前兩天在美味園附近的汽水機
我遇到她
194
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,320
我知道我已經對她一見鍾情
195
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,720
師父, 人海茫茫
又不知道人家在哪裡
196
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,680
只是打個照面, 你就一見鍾情？
197
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,720
她呀既然拿著這張美味園的紙巾
198
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,080
也就是說她會光顧美味園
199
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,000
那我在美味園等她不就行了
200
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這倒是
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不過師父
202
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,800
光顧美味園的客人一天裡
至少有好幾百個女性的客人
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我等
204
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,320
可是那幾百個女人之中
大部份都配不上你的
205
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我還是要等她
206
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,600
OK…等你等到了又怎麼樣
207
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:13,800
讓我等到就厲害了
208
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,400
我當然跟著就是…
209
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,160
考我呀？死長毛
210
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,480
你明知道我沒經驗
211
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,560
快點, 快教我
212
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,280
行…沒問題
213
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,760
你先叫我一聲師父
214
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,360
你不想活了？存心找死是不是
215
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:30,760
不叫呀？
216
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,040
這種事我根本就不懂, 怎麼教你？
217
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,880
教不教…
218
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,360
死長毛
219
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,800
當年要不是為師
在路邊把你撿回來
220
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,680
辛辛苦苦的教你切菜
淘米, 如何燒菜
221
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:44,960
奪命梵音又來了
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00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:45,680
再說一遍
223
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,640
要不是為師把你撿回來教你切菜
224
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,440
行了…不用你教我了
師父, 我教你
225
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:55,280
追女孩子第一步
最重要的是大膽、直接、激情
226
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:57,760
好棒
227
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,160
明白啦, 師父, 晚安
228
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,120
大膽、直接
229
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:01,920
到底怎麼樣？
230
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,320
就是一見到她馬上衝過去
231
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,840
來個銅鑼灣避風塘
田螺式抱著濕吻
232
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,280
改天我見到她
233
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:18,120
我該怎麼來個
銅鑼灣避風塘甚麼田螺式濕吻
234
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,880
知不知道甚麼叫聲東擊西
235
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:23,560
新出的遊戲
236
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,320
蝙蝠俠來了
237
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:28,280
是嗎？
238
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,080
這樣就叫聲東擊西了, 師父
239
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,080
田螺哪有那麼多汁
240
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,840
這是芡呀, 師父
241
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,520
晚安…
242
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:46,440
芡
243
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,280
小姐, 幾個人？
244
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:50,960
兩個人
245
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:51,680
好的, 請跟我來
246
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:54,440
不是你…
247
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:55,000
脫線
248
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:55,840
小姐
249
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,600
小丁, 你師公在等誰呀？
250
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,640
田師傅今天晚一點來
本來想請他頂替的
251
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,760
這個呢是人家的私事
我是不會說的
252
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,480
就像你上次在廚房裡偷雞腿吃
我也沒說出來
253
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,840
其實那隻雞腿掉過垃圾桶裡
我也沒說
254
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,560
你不說算了, 我自己去問他
255
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,920
何師傅, 在等人呀？
256
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,200
我在等一個女神
257
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:27,720
女神？
258
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,360
我並不是想干涉你的宗教信仰
259
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,920
可是你這麼等法不行的
260
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,160
行的…她會來的
261
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,120
問題是你嚇跑了我的客人
我不行呀
262
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,160
不行, 真的不行
263
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,640
她今天真的不會來
264
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,840
媽媽, 我回來了
265
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,600
來啦？
266
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,600
是呀, 今天雜誌社沒有甚麼事
早點回來幫忙
267
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,080
今天的生意VERY GOOD
268
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:58,800
是嘛
269
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,560
是你了…女神
270
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:01,560
是我？
271
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,760
她是我女兒呀
272
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,520
你是肥姨的女兒呀？
273
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:05,440
是呀
274
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:07,720
認不認得我？
275
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,640
你在賣信用卡廣告
276
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,240
我也猜到你不認得了
277
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,240
沒關係
278
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,960
我帶你去我們相遇的地方
你一定會記得的, 來…
279
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,320
你帶她去哪兒？
怎麼辦？
280
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,280
他抓著她的手
281
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:18,960
快追呀
282
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:19,600
追呀
283
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:24,120
來…
284
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,320
你認不認得這裡？
285
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,040
教堂門口
286
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,680
你把我女兒拖來這裡幹嘛？
287
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,200
你記不記得你昨天過馬路
我遇見你？
288
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,040
我看你是不記得了
289
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:36,960
那麼
290
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:37,600
怎麼？
291
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,160
我把昨天的事情案件重演
292
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,520
這麼巧, 不好
293
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:46,640
這麼巧
294
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:49,160
這麼巧
295
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:54,720
天氣這麼熱
296
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,560
我走了那麼多路
給我喝一口好不好？
297
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:58,640
不好
298
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,320
不好就算了, 我自己去買
299
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,640
不符合劇情
300
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,320
有點不對
301
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:17,680
為甚麼是你？
302
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,240
蘇蘇說要先走一步
到汽水機那裡買飲料給肥姨喝
303
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,760
幸虧這段還跟劇情
304
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:47,680
你在幹甚麼？
305
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,000
你不應該這麼早來的
306
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,440
我媽媽渴了, 我買飲料給她
307
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,600
不行…
308
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,960
應該是我噴得滿臉都是的時候
你才出現嘛
309
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,640
沒關係, 我現在噴給你看
310
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:02,800
跟著你遞紙巾給我了
311
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,760
好多汗, 媽媽
312
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:07,440
乖
313
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,400
我完了
314
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,160
拿回去吧
315
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,000
導演…我知道我書唸得少
可是你也別騙我
316
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,200
其實這個時候
你的表情不應該是這樣的
317
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,960
如果模仿廣告應該是…
318
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,160
這樣嘛, 對不對？
319
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,280
對是對了, 不過一次夠了
太誇張了
320
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,440
大雄的獎品
321
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,320
好呀, 有東西喝, 謝謝
322
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,840
你不會殘忍的到這個地步
還說不認得我吧？
323
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,960
如果我不說不認得
324
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,760
我說不記得
你會不會覺得我沒那麼殘忍？
325
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,840
天, 為甚麼這樣對我？
326
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,200
不要緊, 我還有一招, 等一下
327
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,560
不玩行不行？
328
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,000
我認得你了
329
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,960
你是我昨天碰到的那個童子軍
330
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,200
是資深童子軍
331
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,680
不過我還是不認得你的樣子
332
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,640
不認得算了
333
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:16,120
既然不認得沒關係
334
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,120
最重要的是我找到你
335
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,000
我有很重要的話跟你說
336
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:23,400
說甚麼？
337
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,080
在想
338
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,960
糟了, 昨天長毛教我說
的開場白是甚麼？
339
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,680
怎麼還不來
340
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:37,560
師父
341
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,280
你來得正好
有要緊事要告訴你
342
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,680
等一下…我先說
343
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:41,960
不行呀, 我這件很重要
344
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,120
到底是你師父我是師父
345
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:44,800
我是呀
346
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,560
你是…
347
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,760
我是師父, 那我先說了
348
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,080
他們哪兒去了？
349
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,080
我剛才就是想跟你說這件事情
350
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,120
他們統統都跟師公出去了
351
00:18:58,760 --> 00:18:59,920
都跟他去哪兒？
352
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,040
不知道
353
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,960
不過我知道師公的夢中情人是誰了
354
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,880
你知道啦？是誰呀？
355
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,040
我知道, 一塊說
356
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:11,960
菠菜蓮
357
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,640
菠菜蓮是你的
358
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:15,880
是蘇蘇
359
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,560
師父, 你要不要去找他們？
360
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,320
找她幹嘛？關我屁事？
361
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,760
不對呀
362
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,960
我記得你教過師公
一招聲東擊西的
363
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,360
我就是怕蘇蘇上當呀
364
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,040
可是外面那麼大
我不知道他們在哪裡
365
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,720
不對呀, 我記得師公好像說過
要去甚麼結緣的地方
366
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,840
前兩天在美味園附近那個汽水機
我遇到她
367
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,600
我知道我跟她是一見鍾情
368
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,040
師父…
369
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,960
我真的有話要跟你說
370
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,360
你這句話在過去那十分鐘裡
已經說了幾十遍了
371
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:03,320
可是做這種事
一定要有心理準備嘛
372
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,520
那你說吧
373
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,520
蝙蝠俠
374
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,400
你說甚麼？
375
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,800
羅賓
376
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:12,760
甚麼賓？
377
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,120
蒙面超人、鐵甲萬能俠
378
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:38,920
小露寶
379
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,080
小丸子
380
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:45,840
小丸子
381
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,200
小丸子, 是不是小丸子
382
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,600
小丸子
383
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,600
我喜歡小丸子
384
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,680
小丸子…
385
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,720
小丸子
386
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,040
小丸子
387
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,080
我的初吻
388
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,040
你們做甚麼？
389
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,080
沒甚麼, 我們沒甚麼
390
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,200
誰說的, 我們關係很親密的
391
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,160
同性戀
同志呀
392
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,000
別誤會
393
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:28,840
我們雖然親密
可是是師徒的關係
394
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:29,680
他是我師父
395
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,280
他是你師父, 那你們剛才…
396
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,480
剛才那個田螺式是他說的
397
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,320
不是…剛才那個是我跟我師父
獨有的打招呼方式
398
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,680
是我們天山神廚無敵派才有的
別派絕對沒有
399
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,640
那我明白了
400
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:48,320
你明白最好了
401
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:53,720
我明白你之所以神經兮兮
原來是一脈相傳
402
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,080
媽媽
403
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,200
走
404
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:57,640
走
405
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,600
你是我徒弟, 你也是一脈相傳
406
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,120
我還沒說完, 聽我說
407
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,320
那她豈不是我徒孫
408
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,760
蘇蘇你甚麼時候生日？
409
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:13,480
你屬於甚麼星座
410
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:15,920
你多久逛一次街
411
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,120
你喜歡哪個歌星？
412
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:20,800
你最近有沒有作夢？蘇蘇
413
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:21,560
等一下
414
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,720
何小…何先生, 何…
415
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,920
你叫我小壬就行了
416
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,240
小壬, 我想跟你說
你到底知不知道我跟你並不熟
417
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,880
我知道, 我明白
418
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,240
所以我把資料全都抄下來了
419
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,040
這邊是我的, 你記得把它背熟
420
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,800
我們就可以互相溝通溝通
421
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,640
奶油妹, 你平時不是很喜歡
收集明星的資料嗎？
422
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:47,840
收起來
423
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,280
小壬又不是明星, 我不要
424
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,400
女兒
425
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,160
你怎麼可以把何小壬給你的東西
隨便給別人呢？
426
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,600
說不定裡面有甚麼秘密菜式
可以幫助美味園
427
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:03,520
對呀
428
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:04,760
媽媽, 你收起來吧
429
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,440
小壬, 你渴不渴？
430
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,640
我去廚房沖一杯檸檬水給你喝
431
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:12,840
你渴了想喝檸檬水呀？
432
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,120
交給我
433
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:17,160
BYE BYE
434
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,760
檸檬…檸檬在哪兒, 檸檬
435
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:26,880
我要弄一杯“天山雪蓮超級無敵
透心涼檸檬水”給蘇蘇享用
436
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,200
師父你弄甚麼都沒問題
最大的問題就是蘇蘇走了
437
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:32,560
走了？
438
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,360
我還沒示愛
439
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,600
師父
說起來蘇蘇也算是你的徒孫
440
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,320
你這麼繼續下去
441
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,360
我擔心別人說你
亂搞不道德關係
442
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,520
長毛, 你這麼關心師父
443
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,640
師父心領
444
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:50,960
有你的支持
445
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,720
我一定能夠打破
世人那種封建的眼光
446
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,560
師父
你現在是不是在想些甚麼呢？
447
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,480
你是不是在想我在想那件事
448
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:04,360
不錯
449
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,080
我就是在想你在想我在想
你在想我在想你那件事
450
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,600
被你這麼一說
我都不記得在想甚麼
451
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,720
你呢在想怎麼阻止師公追求蘇蘇
452
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,960
這麼大聲幹甚麼？想死
453
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,560
蘇蘇這個女人真的不能追
454
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,240
又野蠻, 又笨蛋
455
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,200
你居然還想追她？
456
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,840
就算追到了又怎麼樣
457
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,920
別這麼笨了, 這麼糟蹋自己
458
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,320
我說這種女人才好呀, 跟牛似的
459
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,600
又能抬、又能扛
460
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,800
你經常周遊列國
有她幫你扛行李搬箱子
461
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,600
她笨無所謂, 你聰明就行了
462
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,200
師父, 你明不明白
463
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,960
蘇蘇這個女人真的不值得追
464
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:07,720
你在說話呀？
465
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,320
對不起, 我在看“城市追蹤”
466
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,800
今天說的是電話屠夫, 好恐怖
467
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,040
他在殺人之前
先打電話去咒死對方
468
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,200
然後才下手的, 你看
469
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,600
來…說了這麼久嘴巴都乾了
470
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,760
喝杯牛奶
471
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:25,800
來…
472
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,920
謝謝
473
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,680
小丁倒給我的
你怎麼可以拿去喝
474
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,680
留半杯給我…
475
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:32,320
留半杯吧
476
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,400
別喝光了
留一半呀
477
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,080
你這麼懂事, 我絕對不會虧待
478
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,320
搞定了
479
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,440
安咕咕牌安眠藥, 真管用
480
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:48,560
YEAH
481
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:50,560
爽爽怎麼啦？
482
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:52,680
師父
483
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,320
爽爽沒甚麼
484
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:57,280
每天晚上到了這個時候
她習慣在客廳躺一會兒
485
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:58,040
隨她好了
486
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:01,320
師父
487
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,480
趁爽爽睡著了, 沒人跟蹤我們
488
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:09,160
我就帶你去一個
你從來都沒有去過的
489
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:10,720
去了之後可能會上癮的地方
490
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,560
“荔園”這麼晚還開？
491
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,320
不是, 是“佳麗園”
492
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:24,240
精彩
493
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,640
那邊…你看, 他們抱在一起
494
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,760
小肉彈跟瘦皮猴湊成一對
495
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,960
還有, 瘦皮猴在親小肉彈
496
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:32,920
兒童不宜觀看, 別看了
497
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,240
我們別看了, 看別的
498
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,520
待會兒我們看美女, 更好看
499
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:36,400
我們也是這樣？
500
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:37,200
待會兒我們也這樣？
501
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:37,720
是呀
502
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:38,240
漂亮嗎
503
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:39,000
漂亮…
504
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,440
今天晚上之後
505
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,240
你會發現這個世界上
甚麼叫做天使臉孔, 魔鬼身材了
506
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,000
那個甚麼蘇蘇
叫她去賣鳳梨酥吧
507
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,960
養神…
508
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:50,960
包你滿意
509
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:52,160
來了
510
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:58,240
兩位老闆, 謝謝捧場
511
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,360
不是這個吧？長毛
512
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,080
是呀, 就是我
513
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,280
不會的, 她是媽媽桑
514
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:04,120
媽媽桑
515
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:04,760
幹嘛
516
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,560
反正她不是公主
517
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:10,760
媽媽桑, 為甚麼我們叫的公主
那麼久還不來？
518
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:12,080
美女呢？
519
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,840
我不是媽媽桑
520
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,840
我就是你們兩位叫的公主了
521
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:18,680
MY GOD
522
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,360
十五…
523
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:22,040
二十
524
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:22,760
開了
525
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:23,440
五
526
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,440
十個
527
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:25,520
十個
528
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:26,160
十個
529
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:26,720
十五
530
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:27,760
我現在有甚麼好做的
531
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,360
上呀…
532
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,640
上…怎麼上？
533
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,960
搭她的肩膀, 跟著摸她的背
534
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,320
我瘋啦？會傳染愛滋病
535
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,520
摸她的背不會傳染
別怕, 只管摸
536
00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:43,480
哥哥爸爸真偉大
537
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,360
摸甚麼摸？
538
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,800
喝你的酒吧, 別吵我
539
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:47,760
十個
540
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:48,480
十五
541
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:49,280
不管用呀
542
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,760
甭怕, 她假正經
543
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:53,600
你再摸她的大腿
544
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:56,880
這樣, 摸她
545
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,280
給我一杯礦泉水
546
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,480
你還摸, 你欠揍？
547
00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:06,760
我有事先走了, 長毛
548
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,920
師父, 你別走再坐一下
549
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:11,600
有進步了
550
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:14,200
你看看越來越年輕
551
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:15,600
再坐一會兒
552
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,400
先生
553
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,320
先生, 我叫蘇小小
554
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,360
先聲明呀, 只消夜不過夜
555
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,320
這個好呀,師父, 連名字也叫…
556
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,280
這是甚麼夜總會？簡直是找罪受
557
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,160
不用指望我再來光顧
558
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,320
別生氣了, 長毛
559
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,600
有甚麼關係？反正又不花錢
560
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:48,840
因為我買單
561
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,000
花這個冤枉錢真是窩囊了
562
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:51,920
師父
563
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,800
長毛, 謝謝你
564
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,320
你的心意師父知道的
565
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,600
有你這麼體貼的徒弟, 師父很感動
566
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,080
師父, 你知道我的心意就好了
567
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,120
這個世界上有千千萬萬的女人
568
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,360
蘇蘇只是其中的一棵樹
569
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,720
犯不著為了一棵樹
放棄整個森林是不是？
570
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:18,920
很有道理
571
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:23,760
可是剛才那些醜八怪女人
跟蘇蘇相比
572
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,160
蘇蘇比她們強一萬倍
573
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,840
謝謝你, 長毛
574
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:36,280
有你的鼓勵
我現在追蘇蘇的心更堅貞
575
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:41,240
師父
剛才只是一個小小的測試
576
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,400
為了要測試你的堅貞
577
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
我們一定要進行一個大測試
578
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,520
我借高利貸也要為你大測試
579
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,000
我們換場子
580
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,200
我們換場子
581
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:53,200
OK
582
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:53,960
田味吉
583
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,440
你還想換場子？
584
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:01,800
爽爽, 你不是在睡覺嗎？
585
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:02,440
就是呀
586
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,400
沒那麼容易
587
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,720
下次叫你的徒弟下藥下得重一點
588
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,040
自從上次我受了教訓之後
我已經有了免疫能力
589
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,000
小丁真是沒用
590
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,320
這麼沒用的徒弟
我已經替你教訓他了
591
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,280
總之今天到此為止
592
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,520
好, 到此為止
593
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:19,640
跟我回去
594
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,320
你甚麼時候學會
“波士頓的龍蝦鉗”的
595
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,320
波士頓有毒
596
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,680
這些招式要人教的嗎？
597
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,600
這是女性的本能, 走
598
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,880
上過床的關係就是這樣
599
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:39,400
那我不上床了
600
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,720
對不起, 你有沒有事？
601
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,000
對不起…沒事…
602
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:22,280
沒事
603
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,680
今天是我們的結婚大日子
604
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,320
我是新娘子, 怎麼可以有事呢？
605
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,600
不要再說了
我還是放水給你洗澡
606
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,160
你這麼說就像真的是
人家老婆一樣
607
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,120
那誰規定做朋友的
不可以幫忙放水洗澡
608
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,320
你在想甚麼？
609
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:06,080
我在想我們演戲演到明天就演完了
610
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,000
真是快樂不知時日過
611
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,640
你還開玩笑
612
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,160
我擔心到最後才出事
613
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,360
怎麼會呢？放心吧
614
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,400
有你這麼聰明, 有我這麼機靈
615
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,080
有甚麼理由會出錯？
616
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:24,800
對不對
617
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,360
忘了把水龍頭關了
618
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,600
幹嘛穿得跟聖誕樹似的
619
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,240
不用說啦, 是做津津的伴娘了
620
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,160
你穿得好呀
像個大肚子企鵝似的
621
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,000
你做柏高的伴郎吧
622
00:32:58,440 --> 00:32:59,400
算了…
623
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,720
今天我們來這裡是做善事的
624
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:03,840
私人恩怨就不提了好不好？
625
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,520
好
626
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,320
那麼雙方協議暫時停火啦
627
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:09,760
不錯
628
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:14,760
你幹嘛, 你下來
629
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,120
說好停火的, 你反悔
630
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,160
你不守規矩幹嘛拉我下來？
631
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,520
你搞甚麼鬼？
632
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,200
余有寶的家在這裡
633
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,040
你怎麼去那邊？快點, 遲到啦
634
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,040
是不是？你害我遲到
635
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,680
你害我才對, 顛倒是非
636
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,840
伴郎和伴娘來了
我們可以開始玩了
637
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,120
玩…玩甚麼？
638
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,280
玩接新娘
639
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:40,440
不用了吧
640
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,800
姑姑, 我們只是演戲
不用這麼多花樣吧？
641
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,280
你有沒有聽過甚麼叫做弄假成真
642
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,760
習俗禮節一定要做足的
不會吃虧的
643
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,080
說得也是, 那就玩接新娘
644
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,360
津津OK, 我OK
645
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,200
你是大人了
646
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:58,720
不要人家OK你就OK嘛
647
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,240
看時間做人
648
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,840
待會兒還要
給伯父伯母斟茶知不知道
649
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,080
無所謂啦, 大家玩玩嘛
650
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,360
想不到做伴郎的
比做新郎的還要怕死
651
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,360
你說甚麼？你再說一遍試試
652
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:13,880
你再說一百遍試試看
653
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,840
我連你都不怕, 我會怕誰
654
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:16,560
那就行了
655
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:17,960
姑姑
656
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:19,520
我們先把男人們趕出去
657
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,000
男人出去
658
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:21,960
怎麼？幹甚麼
659
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:22,600
出去
660
00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:24,120
出去…
661
00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:24,720
真的出去？
662
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:25,560
出去就出去
663
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:26,160
出去
664
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:28,880
叔公, 你幹嘛站在這裡？出去
665
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000
好了, 姑姑, 可以開始了
666
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,000
我這個人最通情達理的
667
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:35,480
怎麼樣？
668
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,440
開門紅包只要九千九百九十九塊錢
669
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,160
這麼多錢
670
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,280
大家靜一靜, 我給她
671
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,280
這裡有兩張傷心俱樂部的禮券
672
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,080
也值萬兒八千的
是縐了一點, 你拿去
673
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:50,920
你居然去那種地方？
674
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,200
不可以
675
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:54,320
九千九百九十九
676
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,000
九十九, 不要就走
677
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:58,280
好呀, 你走
678
00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,440
扔我的禮券
679
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:00,040
走
680
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:00,640
九十九
681
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:01,240
走呀
682
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:01,880
立刻走
683
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
我們還要斟茶, 別跟他鬧了
684
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,360
你放心
我會替你搞定這個老怪物的
685
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:09,200
姑姑
686
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,200
你守大門口
687
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:11,600
我出去
688
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:12,800
這麼兇呀
689
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:13,600
給錢
690
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,000
九十九, 不要我走
691
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,160
你走, 不要你呀
692
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:17,160
你叫我走我偏不走
693
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:17,680
走
694
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:18,840
你趕我走我就是不走
695
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:19,560
走
696
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:20,440
你走呀
給錢
697
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:21,160
不給
698
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:21,640
走呀
699
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:22,160
你走
700
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:23,040
走呀
701
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:30,400
歡迎…
702
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,640
謝謝…招呼不週, 隨便坐…
703
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:35,480
歡迎…
704
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:36,240
HELLO
705
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,000
歡迎光臨
706
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:37,960
簽哪裡都可以是吧
707
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,520
隨便…
708
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,560
BENNY這小子比我先結婚
還交了這麼多新朋友
709
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:43,400
也不介紹我認識
710
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,440
柏高的英文名字叫BENNY
711
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,440
BENNY的中文名字叫阿強
不是叫柏高
712
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:50,880
柏高, 叫柏高是在這兒
713
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,160
對不起, 我搞錯了
714
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,360
不會…這個叫柏高也叫阿強
715
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,200
一樣的…
716
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,920
一樣的…請裡面…
717
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,840
別客氣…
718
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,480
來, 別客氣…隨便坐…
719
00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:10,320
來…看這裡…
720
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,400
笑, 笑一個
721
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,760
新郎跟新娘再靠近一點
722
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,280
可是新娘笑得眼睛瞇成一條縫
723
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,080
只要笑容收歛一點就完美了
724
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:20,680
我沒有笑成那樣
725
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:21,560
OK, 一二三
726
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:22,480
拍好了
727
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,320
這張不算
728
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,920
再拍一張, 我們還沒準備好
729
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:26,240
沒底片了, 我換底片
730
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,160
柏高, 我不想做人了
731
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,120
你別掛電話, 等一等…
732
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:36,160
我聽電話, 很快回來
733
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:37,240
快回來
734
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,960
你在哪裡？怎麼聲音怪怪的？
735
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:46,400
我現在在二樓
還有幾步路就到三樓了
736
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,680
甚麼二樓甚麼三樓？你說甚麼
737
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,440
阿水, 阿水要跟我分手
738
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,480
我不想活了
739
00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:59,560
你說甚麼, 我聽不到
740
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:06,120
柏高
八姑媽跟九姨婆說想跟你拍照
741
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:07,400
不如我們過去好不好
742
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,040
你等一等
我現在趕著出去救一個人
743
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,000
我很快回來
744
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,080
底片換好了, 柏高在哪兒？
745
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,080
他跟箭一樣嗖飛出去
746
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:20,640
去哪兒了？
747
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,120
去咒人
748
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,520
特地出去咒人？何必這麼毒呀？
749
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:28,600
你現在在哪裡？
750
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,560
我現在在五樓了
751
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,440
我乾脆在這層跳下去算了
752
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,360
千萬別跳, 別跳…
753
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:39,600
為甚麼？
754
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,600
早也要死, 晚也要死
乾脆現在死了算了
755
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,520
不行呀
你從五樓跳下去死不了的
756
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,320
只會斷手斷腳
變成一個殘廢的
757
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,360
甚麼？在不夠高的地方跳樓
758
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,440
手腳會摔斷變成殘廢
759
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,000
好醜呀, 我不要
760
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,280
還是再上幾層越高越好
761
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,680
這樣就乖了, 你繼續上, 千萬別跳
762
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,240
可是我的腳好酸, 我不想走了
763
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:07,480
還是從這兒跳下去算了
764
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,240
不要, 千萬不要跳
765
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,760
千萬不要, 繼續上…
766
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:13,960
嘉嘉…
767
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,680
老鼠, 老鼠追我上天台
768
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,200
那你就繼續上天台
千萬不要在中途停下來
769
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,200
不然的話你跳下去死不了的
770
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:25,880
你說甚麼？
771
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:33,480
我叫你一直走上天台
這樣跳下去就死定了
772
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,960
城市追蹤熱線, 我發現了電話屠夫
773
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,200
嘉嘉…
774
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,200
嘉嘉
775
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:00,320
嘉嘉
776
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,520
嘉嘉
柏高, 你在哪裡
777
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:04,560
你在哪裡？
778
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:05,960
在你對面
779
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,800
柏高…我在你對面大廈天台
780
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,440
你怎麼會在那裡
781
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,480
我不想在你那邊跳
782
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:20,440
你看你樓下有個建築工地, 好髒呀
783
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,320
我不想弄髒我的裙子
784
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,240
我剛買的, 好貴的
785
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,000
總之你不要跳, 我現在過來
786
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,480
你叫我等你過來一塊跳
787
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,400
這樣豈不是像“殉情記”一樣？
788
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:37,520
好浪漫
789
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:39,960
我現在過來
790
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,000
糟了, 柏高到現在還沒有回來
入席的時間快到了
791
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:44,840
你說怎麼辦？
792
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,600
你別跳了
跳得我眼睛都花了
793
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,200
柏高要回來始終會回來
不用擔心
794
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,440
還有, 我跟大家打過招呼了
保證不會穿幫
795
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:55,840
不過不對
796
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,000
我剛才看到柏高
跟箭一樣的嗖就飈出去
797
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,120
我真不知道會發生甚麼事
798
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,160
你不知道我也不知道是不是？
799
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,080
誰呀？
800
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:08,600
柏高
801
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:14,240
來了
802
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:16,320
來了
803
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:20,920
媽
804
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:21,920
津津
805
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,960
客人都到得差不多了
開席時間到了
806
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:25,960
我知道
807
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:29,520
因為柏高多喝了幾杯
所以我想讓他躺在這裡休息一下
808
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:31,800
我知道他喝醉了
809
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,040
你姑姑和蘇蘇已經跟我說了
810
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,360
我就是拿藥油來給他擦的
811
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:38,120
我來吧
812
00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:45,360
你這樣怎麼擦得到
813
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,000
來…我來把他轉過來
814
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:51,120
他不是柏高
815
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:52,960
我可沒跟你說我是柏高
816
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,680
原來是田師傅, 你怎麼這麼調皮
開玩笑的…
817
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,880
柏高, 你怎麼喝得這麼醉？
818
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,320
現在別吐, 快到廁所去, 去廁所
819
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,920
YOU SEE, 原來柏高跟叔公在一塊
820
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:09,200
是呀
821
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,280
我拿藥油給他去擦
822
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:13,840
你怎麼能去男廁所？
823
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,320
我來吧, 伯母
824
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,520
去廁所…
825
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:24,800
白花油
826
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:25,960
好點吧
827
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,240
還不去廁所潄口
828
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:30,960
怎麼？你很累？
829
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,560
不是, 只是覺得熱
830
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:34,800
因為冷氣不夠
831
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:38,640
嘉嘉, 你千萬別亂來
832
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,560
千萬不要跳下去呀
833
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:41,640
你怎麼那麼遲才來？
834
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,280
我剛才真的想跳下去的
835
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,440
你可千萬別這麼傻
836
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:47,160
這邊
837
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:49,480
你有話慢慢說, 千萬別跳
838
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:50,920
別跳
839
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:51,560
等一下
840
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,160
各位觀眾, 我們城市追蹤
841
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:54,720
甚麼？
842
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,520
終於找到這個電話屠夫了
843
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,000
現在他跟一個女人在一起
844
00:41:58,240 --> 00:42:01,440
這個電話屠夫到底會不會
對這個女人有企圖呢？
845
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,160
屠夫先生, 請你說幾句話
846
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:04,680
我不是甚麼屠夫
847
00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:06,160
好厲害呀
848
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,520
裝成大舌頭來逃避我們的問題
849
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:10,600
我逃避甚麼？
850
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:11,840
沒關係, 我來問問這位小姐
851
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,160
小姐, 你冷靜一點…說…
852
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,480
我呢是他的女朋友
853
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:17,080
是
854
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,760
我是來這兒自殺的
855
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:20,760
自殺？
856
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,600
有個屠夫男朋友的
身為女朋友的怎麼不自殺
857
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,120
我還沒說完
858
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,720
我說的那個男朋友不是這個男朋友
859
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,400
是我甩掉他之後
的那個男朋友才對
860
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:38,400
想不到屠夫殺人的背後
有一個這麼感人情場失意的故事
861
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,200
小姐, 來…
862
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,480
小姐
863
00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:50,080
這個就是我們公司為你預備的
最後一頓晚餐
864
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,120
所以希望你在跳之前
865
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:57,240
可以跟廣大的觀眾
說說你目前的心情, 你的遺願
866
00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:59,840
你可以暢所欲言, 現場直播的
867
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:00,800
好
868
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:02,800
我有一個心願
869
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:07,680
希望可以跟我喜歡的人重新在一起
870
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:08,480
嘉嘉
871
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,200
柏高, 我知道你還是愛我的是不是
872
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:14,920
很感人, 拍近一點…
873
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:16,560
這是甚麼？
874
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,280
小姐, 我來告訴你吧
875
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,520
這就是新郎佩戴的胸花
876
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,360
我也知道, 誰要你多嘴
877
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,520
可是新郎是他, 新娘不是你
878
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:27,400
你別說話行不行？
879
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,480
嘉嘉, 不是…不是這樣
你向我示威
880
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:30,560
你聽我解釋
881
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,840
我剛剛甩掉你
你這麼快就找到一個
882
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:34,440
還要結婚
883
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:35,200
不是
884
00:43:35,240 --> 00:43:37,160
我真的不想活了
你千萬別衝動
885
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,040
完了…外面一直在催入席
886
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,840
我媽跟姨媽跟姑姑
弄了一大堆這種藥
887
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,200
希望柏高趕快醒
888
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,680
擦那麼多藥油
就算殘廢也變十項全能了
889
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:48,480
不是呀
890
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,880
是十項全能擦得變成殘廢才對
891
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:51,920
別吵了
892
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,560
現在外面在催入席了
怎麼拖下去呢？
893
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,000
一直裝暈也不是辦法
894
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,440
田師傅, 你有沒有甚麼辦法
895
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,000
他有辦法呀
896
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,360
就不會坐在那兒連個屁都不放
897
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,120
只知道做縮頭烏龜
898
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,000
智囊通常是坐著動腦筋的
899
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:10,520
誰像你這麼走來走去
900
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,680
還是我有辦法
901
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:16,000
各位觀眾, 看看