1 00:00:52,238 --> 00:00:55,913 Another gangplank, another country, another customs hall. 2 00:00:56,078 --> 00:01:00,196 After the Black Sea and two weeks in the Soviet Union, 3 00:01:00,358 --> 00:01:04,112 Istanbul comes as quite a shock to the system. 4 00:01:04,278 --> 00:01:06,155 I feel disoriented, 5 00:01:06,318 --> 00:01:11,392 as crumpled and travel-worn as the equipment we've lugged 5,000 miles. 6 00:01:11,558 --> 00:01:15,267 I'd just put 'em down there, if I were you. 7 00:01:21,558 --> 00:01:27,394 If the Soviet Union was the land of "niet", Turkey is the land of "How many do you want?" 8 00:01:27,558 --> 00:01:30,356 Everything is available. In all sizes. 9 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,549 Pera Palas. 10 00:01:42,358 --> 00:01:43,950 Thank you. 11 00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:56,236 The car is, well, generous. It occurred to me I might have made a terrible mistake. 12 00:01:56,398 --> 00:01:58,116 This is a taxi? 13 00:01:59,998 --> 00:02:02,796 Probably the president's car. 14 00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:05,995 Teach him to park in a taxi rank! 15 00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:15,150 In one journey we'd probably used half the country's oil reservesl 16 00:02:15,318 --> 00:02:18,913 But at least I'm within sight of a wash and brushup. 17 00:02:19,078 --> 00:02:22,707 The hotel is famous, but not as famous as its occupants. 18 00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:43,113 I'm given the very room in which Agatha Christie wrote "Murder 0n The 0rient Express". 19 00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:47,191 Has she any message perhaps for a fellow writer? 20 00:02:47,358 --> 00:02:49,349 (DOOR SLAMS) 21 00:02:54,798 --> 00:02:58,313 The hotel was built in the "grand optimistic" style 22 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:01,709 before accountants ruled the world. 23 00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:06,747 Every detail is probably more expensive than it need have been. 24 00:03:06,918 --> 00:03:10,797 It's a relic of when this was a predominantly European city, 25 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,394 more Constantinople than Istanbul. 26 00:03:14,558 --> 00:03:18,153 (TRAM BELL RINGS) 27 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:23,350 The trams that run along Pera Street, indeed Pera Street itself, 28 00:03:23,518 --> 00:03:27,511 still reflect the acceptable face of Western commerce. 29 00:03:28,278 --> 00:03:30,348 But the city is filling up fast. 30 00:03:30,518 --> 00:03:37,117 In 30 years, the population has grown from under one million to over eight million people. 31 00:03:37,998 --> 00:03:42,230 Most of them cannot afford to shop on Pera Street. 32 00:03:46,718 --> 00:03:51,997 At the university people from Eastern Europe are trading on the edge of the law, 33 00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:58,267 exchanging goods in the spirit, if not the currency, of this great commercial city. 34 00:04:03,638 --> 00:04:08,632 Azerbaijanis sell to Poles, Armenians to Rumanians. 35 00:04:08,798 --> 00:04:13,792 It looks furtive and dangerous, but it's often disappointingly mundane. 36 00:04:16,398 --> 00:04:17,831 What's this? 37 00:04:19,598 --> 00:04:22,237 Ahl A toy train ringl 38 00:04:28,278 --> 00:04:31,554 (TOY SQUEAKS) 39 00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:41,031 The truth is that Istanbul has always been one great bazaar. 40 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:44,076 It's a city dedicated to buying and selling. 41 00:04:44,238 --> 00:04:47,674 Why change when there are mugs coming along every day? 42 00:04:58,078 --> 00:05:00,069 That's nice. 43 00:05:00,238 --> 00:05:03,787 - It is Turkish kilim. - Turkish kilim? 44 00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,518 Is it very expensive? 45 00:05:06,678 --> 00:05:09,192 - Cheap price. - Cheap? How much? 46 00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:11,588 150 Deutschmark. 47 00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:15,592 I'll just have a little look up here and maybe come back. 48 00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:18,955 - I can make it a little cheaper. - Cheaper? 49 00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:23,031 - Yes. - Good. I think we'll talk later. 50 00:05:26,118 --> 00:05:27,551 - Good morning. - From? 51 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:31,950 - London. - I was in London. 52 00:05:32,118 --> 00:05:37,112 - Were you selling carpets in London? - No, I was on holiday. 53 00:05:37,278 --> 00:05:40,475 My business is I pray in the mosque. 54 00:05:40,638 --> 00:05:42,833 - You pray in the mosque? - Yes. 55 00:05:42,998 --> 00:05:45,353 - Are you a? - Imam. 56 00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:47,509 - Really? - Yes, I'm an imam. 57 00:05:47,678 --> 00:05:51,751 Aren't you working all the time in the mosque? 58 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:56,275 Every day, five times. I sing. 59 00:05:56,438 --> 00:06:00,272 - God is big. Come to pray. - You lead the people? 60 00:06:00,438 --> 00:06:04,226 - I lead every people. - You also sell carpets? 61 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:08,676 This shop is mine for 30 years. 62 00:06:08,838 --> 00:06:12,433 I'll have a look down here. Maybe I'll come back. 63 00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:16,591 - I have three shops. - It's yours as well? That's a big one. 64 00:06:16,758 --> 00:06:18,988 - Eight metres. - Eight metres. 65 00:06:19,158 --> 00:06:23,913 In Germany money, 1,500 Deutschmarks. 66 00:06:24,078 --> 00:06:28,674 1,500 Deutschmarks. That's about... Three into that... About £500. 67 00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:31,591 OK. I may come back. Thank you. 68 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,113 - Insh'Allah. - Insh'Allah. 69 00:06:34,278 --> 00:06:37,111 But there's more to Istanbul than carpets. 70 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:55,998 There are men in false moustaches who can't march straight. 71 00:07:00,118 --> 00:07:06,432 These are the Janissaries, an ancient and elite corps who mount guard at the Topkapi Palace. 72 00:07:08,838 --> 00:07:11,227 Their job was to protect the Sultan, 73 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:15,027 but they were recruited from Christian not Muslim ranks, 74 00:07:15,198 --> 00:07:18,429 presumably to guarantee impartiality. 75 00:07:27,118 --> 00:07:31,509 They're certainly the best-dressed bouncers I've ever seen. 76 00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:40,754 The Blue Mosque rates highly in the minaret-conscious world of Islam. It has six. 77 00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:48,192 But the finest building in Istanbul is, for me, the mosque of Suleiman the Magnificent. 78 00:07:51,358 --> 00:07:55,909 It has a cemetery in which lie the remains of illustrious courtiers. 79 00:07:56,078 --> 00:08:00,788 The gravestones are said to be the same height as the graves' occupants. 80 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,995 Except in the case of Suleiman's massive tomb. 81 00:08:04,158 --> 00:08:07,912 He was magnificent, but surely not this bigl 82 00:08:10,318 --> 00:08:14,550 Headstones denote the rank and fame of once great men. 83 00:08:20,638 --> 00:08:27,555 Modern worshippers still use the 400-year-old mosque for their five-times-daily prayers. 84 00:08:33,878 --> 00:08:39,555 Ablutions are very much a part of the Islamic tradition, so when in Rome... 85 00:08:39,718 --> 00:08:43,552 I'd like the best treatment you have, the full treatment. 86 00:08:43,718 --> 00:08:46,596 - Which is that? - Number five. 87 00:08:46,758 --> 00:08:49,352 "Treatment fit for a sultan." 88 00:08:49,518 --> 00:08:53,033 - Somebody wash and somebody massage. - OK. 89 00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:54,756 Thank you. 90 00:08:57,038 --> 00:09:00,872 This emporium of cleanliness is the Cagaloglu Hamami, 91 00:09:01,038 --> 00:09:04,428 one of the oldest Turkish baths in the world. 92 00:09:04,598 --> 00:09:09,672 In 300 years of continuous business, it claims to have cleaned, among others, 93 00:09:09,838 --> 00:09:14,116 Tony Curtis, Kaiser Wilhelm and Florence Nightingale. 94 00:09:14,278 --> 00:09:17,076 I wonder where she put the lamp? 95 00:09:20,038 --> 00:09:24,077 - Good? - Yeah! So far, so good. 96 00:09:25,158 --> 00:09:29,117 My masseur is a man of few words but many pounds. 97 00:09:35,638 --> 00:09:39,313 It's a bit like a very friendly steamroller! 98 00:09:46,198 --> 00:09:49,190 Being a lawn that's being rollered! 99 00:09:52,118 --> 00:09:54,632 I'm sure it's good for me. 100 00:10:10,758 --> 00:10:13,591 I don't know this dance! 101 00:10:23,758 --> 00:10:28,752 Then it's time for the washing-up. In this case I am the washing-up! 102 00:10:29,918 --> 00:10:32,876 (HE CALLS OUT IN TURKISH) 103 00:10:33,038 --> 00:10:37,873 My friend is using what they call a "hand-knitted oriental washcloth". 104 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,472 I can think of a better descriptionl 105 00:10:40,638 --> 00:10:42,754 Wash very good. 106 00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:48,038 This is the Brillo pad moment I've been waiting for. 107 00:10:49,678 --> 00:10:53,068 - Wash, yeah? - Sandpapery surface. 108 00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:57,877 Is that my dirt or yours? That's the dirt off me? 109 00:10:58,038 --> 00:11:00,108 This is embarrassing! 110 00:11:01,198 --> 00:11:06,272 I had a mud bath in Odessa. That's probably what this is all about. 111 00:11:06,438 --> 00:11:08,713 I'm sure that's what they all sayl 112 00:11:44,398 --> 00:11:46,593 It's a long, thorough process, 113 00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:51,274 but at least it'll mean I shan't have to wash again till Cape Townl 114 00:12:07,438 --> 00:12:10,555 Having been comprehensively washed and squashed, 115 00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:14,347 I repair to the waterfront for an evening meal. 116 00:12:14,518 --> 00:12:17,555 (MAN CALLS IN TURKISH) 117 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:44,435 - How much? - Three thousand. 118 00:12:49,918 --> 00:12:54,389 The food's good, cheap, wholesome and you never need to book a table. 119 00:13:06,438 --> 00:13:10,954 Beautifully done! Beautifully done. What service. Thank you. 120 00:13:22,598 --> 00:13:28,912 It's time to move on and we catch the ferry to what my school atlas referred to as Asia Minor. 121 00:13:35,638 --> 00:13:41,588 I should be admiring the skyline, but there's something more stunning in the newspaper. 122 00:13:41,758 --> 00:13:45,990 There's been a coup in Russia. Gorbachev has gone, arrested. 123 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:51,551 I think of all the friends we made there. Things can only be worse for them. 124 00:13:51,718 --> 00:13:54,710 For us lucky ones, life goes on. 125 00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:00,987 We've escaped from the USSR by the skin of our teeth. 126 00:14:01,158 --> 00:14:05,151 0ur route along 30° takes us from Istanbul, through Turkey, 127 00:14:05,318 --> 00:14:10,312 to the shores of the Aegean, the Mediterranean and the mouth of the Nile. 128 00:14:26,318 --> 00:14:31,028 0n a day of such news, it seems suitable that our short trip across Asia 129 00:14:31,198 --> 00:14:34,190 takes us through a land with so much history. 130 00:14:34,358 --> 00:14:39,227 Troy and Ephesus lie just over those hot, stony hills. 131 00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:57,278 But we haven't time to be tourists. 132 00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:02,228 We must find our way as rapidly as possible across the Mediterranean. 133 00:15:03,838 --> 00:15:09,868 We don't stop until we reach the port of Marmaris on the Turquoise Coast of southern Turkey. 134 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:19,237 There are boats in the harbour, but none seem to be going beyond the next bay. 135 00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:24,995 The Greek island of Rhodes, 50 miles south, seems as far as we'll get from here. 136 00:15:28,478 --> 00:15:32,710 What should be an idyllic journey across a well-sailed sea 137 00:15:32,878 --> 00:15:36,314 is becoming an unexpected frustration. 138 00:15:38,118 --> 00:15:44,227 We've struck the holiday time of year and no one wants to go very far very fast. 139 00:15:53,878 --> 00:15:59,111 0n landing at Rhodes, I make straight for the shipping office. 140 00:16:01,118 --> 00:16:05,828 "For Cyprus and Israel, every Friday." That's tomorrow. 141 00:16:08,678 --> 00:16:14,674 With a day to kill, I book in at a hotel of character on a quiet back street. 142 00:16:17,558 --> 00:16:19,435 (MOPED PASSES) 143 00:16:19,598 --> 00:16:22,635 Well, it was quiet before I booked in. 144 00:16:32,038 --> 00:16:35,314 There's a lot of history I don't know much about here, 145 00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:40,757 so I seek out Vangelis Pavlides, local-born cartoonist of an Athens newspaper. 146 00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:43,307 What's going on here? 147 00:16:43,478 --> 00:16:47,630 - A sorting out of differences. - Everybody fighting for Rhodes. 148 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,790 It was a coveted place. 149 00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:54,917 You obviously love the architecture and the buildings, 150 00:16:55,078 --> 00:16:58,115 but the knights seem to be treated comically. 151 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:02,476 They were funny characters in their own way. 152 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:09,076 Rhodes has always attracted tourists, many of them with very large armies. 153 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:13,311 Spartans, Athenians, Romans, Turks and Italians all visited. 154 00:17:13,478 --> 00:17:17,312 But the Knights of St John left the most indelible mark. 155 00:17:17,478 --> 00:17:22,632 This is the Street of the Knights, the oldest street in the whole of Greece - 156 00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:28,031 4th century BC - but these buildings are from the 14th and 15th centuries 157 00:17:28,198 --> 00:17:30,871 when the Knights of St John came here. 158 00:17:31,038 --> 00:17:35,395 They're beautiful. They're quite palatial. What were they used for? 159 00:17:35,558 --> 00:17:42,077 They are the hostels of the different nationalities of the knights that were staying here. 160 00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:46,754 So you have France, Italy, the hostel of England, 161 00:17:46,918 --> 00:17:49,512 you know, all along the street. 162 00:17:49,678 --> 00:17:54,035 And at the top you have the palace of the Grand Master. 163 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:58,988 This Christian frontier they defended so zealously fell in 1522 164 00:17:59,158 --> 00:18:03,629 to the Muslim army of our old friend, Suleiman the Magnificent. 165 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:17,509 Battles nowadays are most likely to be fought for places on the beach, 166 00:18:17,678 --> 00:18:22,957 and the invaders who do stay are happy to look at castles rather than build them. 167 00:18:23,758 --> 00:18:28,878 In the village of Lindos, I pay a visit to someone who's made a future here. 168 00:18:33,638 --> 00:18:37,677 - Patric Walker, Michael Palin. - Lovely to see you. Come in. 169 00:18:37,838 --> 00:18:41,353 I gather you can give me some advice. Publicly? 170 00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:44,874 - No. Privately. - It's a private consultation. 171 00:18:45,038 --> 00:18:49,907 Few influence the British public more than Patric Walker, the astrologer. 172 00:18:50,078 --> 00:18:54,833 Now, as we make our way across the Mediterranean, I need some guidance. 173 00:18:54,998 --> 00:18:58,957 In general, is this a good time to make a Pole to Pole journey? 174 00:18:59,118 --> 00:19:05,751 In general, yes. Specifically, at the moment, I'm slightly surprised that you're here at all, 175 00:19:05,918 --> 00:19:09,194 in that I thought you would have been held up. 176 00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:13,829 Yes, we're quite surprised we're here. What are you keeping from us? 177 00:19:13,998 --> 00:19:19,436 Since August 8th, a thing called a retrograde Mercury... 178 00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:23,068 It's when Mercury appears to be travelling backwards. 179 00:19:23,238 --> 00:19:25,832 It isn't, but it appears to be. 180 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:31,118 Between August 8th and September 2nd this is going on. 181 00:19:31,278 --> 00:19:37,626 It's a time when all forms of communication and travel plans tend to be disrupted. 182 00:19:37,798 --> 00:19:43,714 It's usually the last few days of those three weeks that tend to be the trickiest. 183 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,438 What else can go wrong? 184 00:19:46,598 --> 00:19:50,989 Where will you be in those last few days of August? 185 00:19:51,158 --> 00:19:53,752 Cairo and Port Said, at that time. 186 00:19:53,918 --> 00:19:56,637 What would your advice be? To stay here? 187 00:19:56,798 --> 00:20:00,632 - No, no. - Until it blows over? 188 00:20:00,798 --> 00:20:06,270 No. It's just be prepared, have alternative plans. That's it, really. 189 00:20:07,358 --> 00:20:09,235 Is there another way you can go? 190 00:20:16,278 --> 00:20:18,712 Retrograde Mercury notwithstanding, 191 00:20:18,878 --> 00:20:24,111 we squeeze onto a ferry carrying holidaymakers from Athens back to Israel. 192 00:20:30,598 --> 00:20:34,557 Trouble is, seeing holidaymakers makes me think of time off 193 00:20:34,718 --> 00:20:37,073 and time off makes me think of home 194 00:20:37,238 --> 00:20:41,231 and home makes me think of, well, holidays. 195 00:21:24,598 --> 00:21:30,389 Cyprus, where the British garrison maintains our military presence in the Mediterranean. 196 00:21:30,558 --> 00:21:34,267 But today is bank holiday and they're on cream-tea alert. 197 00:21:34,438 --> 00:21:39,466 - Can I join you? - We've got somebody important coming! 198 00:21:39,638 --> 00:21:43,756 Very popular, isn't it, this tea tent? 199 00:21:43,918 --> 00:21:47,467 Despite temperatures near 100, people are playing cricket. 200 00:21:47,638 --> 00:21:51,756 0ne man I spoke to was off to referee a football match. 201 00:21:51,918 --> 00:21:54,910 Everybody seems to do sport day in, day out. 202 00:21:55,078 --> 00:21:58,707 Is there any military life here or is that an illusion? 203 00:21:58,878 --> 00:22:03,713 Illusion sometimes. I think the force is a hobby. 204 00:22:03,878 --> 00:22:09,953 It revolves around sport more than anything. Sport is played nearly every day. 205 00:22:10,118 --> 00:22:12,393 And it's a great life. 206 00:22:12,558 --> 00:22:15,550 Because we're in a very hot country, 207 00:22:15,718 --> 00:22:19,950 we tend to finish work by half past one, having started at seven. 208 00:22:20,118 --> 00:22:23,428 So most afternoons are free for sport. 209 00:22:23,598 --> 00:22:27,796 What happened during the Gulf War, with being in the front line? 210 00:22:27,958 --> 00:22:33,988 It was very difficult, especially during the early days when we were particularly busy. 211 00:22:34,158 --> 00:22:36,991 But sport becomes even more important then. 212 00:22:37,158 --> 00:22:41,788 People are working hard, need to get away, need to get some recreation. 213 00:22:41,958 --> 00:22:47,908 Cricket, rugby, football and the rest didn't stop but came second to the operation. 214 00:22:57,718 --> 00:23:01,711 Cyprus, like Rhodes, has seen empires come and go. 215 00:23:01,878 --> 00:23:08,067 The British have brought their playing fields, kept green by the miracle of treated effluent. 216 00:23:11,118 --> 00:23:16,750 The Romans and Greeks left their temples, amphitheatres and legends. 217 00:23:16,918 --> 00:23:22,038 Like that of Aphrodite's birthplace, a rock which stands off the coast. 218 00:23:22,198 --> 00:23:26,794 Swim three times round it at full moon and you'll live for ever. 219 00:23:28,878 --> 00:23:33,315 Meanwhile, Cypriot life, unbothered by great events, 220 00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:36,197 maintains its own rituals and traditions. 221 00:23:36,358 --> 00:23:39,350 (BELL T0LLS) 222 00:23:47,318 --> 00:23:50,390 Today there's a wedding in Polemi, near Paphos, 223 00:23:50,558 --> 00:23:53,197 and it's not going to be a quiet affair. 224 00:23:55,318 --> 00:23:58,993 (PRIESTBEGINS SERVICE IN GREEK) 225 00:24:35,358 --> 00:24:39,954 Ariadne Kyriacu is marrying Polycarpus Polycarpu. 226 00:24:40,118 --> 00:24:43,508 They are the stars of a long and spectacular show. 227 00:24:53,718 --> 00:24:56,516 First on the bill is the baby-rolling act, 228 00:24:56,678 --> 00:25:00,671 which wishes happiness and fertility on the marital bed. 229 00:25:28,598 --> 00:25:34,230 Then there's the welcoming of the guests, more of an endurance test than you'd think. 230 00:25:34,398 --> 00:25:38,710 - How many people are you expecting tonight? - About 3,000. 231 00:25:38,878 --> 00:25:41,597 - 3,000?! - At least 3,000. 232 00:25:41,758 --> 00:25:44,431 - You provide food and drink? - Yeah. 233 00:25:44,598 --> 00:25:48,034 - Must be very expensive. - It is, yeah. 234 00:25:48,198 --> 00:25:53,477 - It may cost 10,000 Cyprus pounds. - And who pays for that? 235 00:25:53,638 --> 00:25:57,551 The family of both groom and bride, yeah. 236 00:25:57,718 --> 00:26:00,949 I'm amazed you've still got a suit and a tie! 237 00:26:02,638 --> 00:26:08,395 The financial blow must be softened by the tradition that no guest arrives empty-handed. 238 00:26:08,558 --> 00:26:10,913 Congratulations! 239 00:26:12,718 --> 00:26:18,350 The celebrations expand to fill the largest public space in the village. 240 00:26:18,518 --> 00:26:21,669 And the money keeps rolling in. 241 00:26:27,998 --> 00:26:31,035 Miss Petty Cash, 1991I 242 00:26:43,398 --> 00:26:47,232 (SINGS TRADITIONAL SONG) 243 00:27:03,478 --> 00:27:06,356 Music and dancing continues into the night 244 00:27:06,518 --> 00:27:10,067 under the beady eye of the widows they call "blackbirds". 245 00:27:10,238 --> 00:27:15,232 0ld-fashioned weddings like this one don't happen much any more. 246 00:27:15,398 --> 00:27:18,231 I hope the couple have a long life together. 247 00:27:18,398 --> 00:27:23,392 If it's anywhere near as long as their wedding, they should be fine. 248 00:27:33,838 --> 00:27:37,626 Slowly the sun rises to reveal Africa. 249 00:27:37,798 --> 00:27:42,553 0ur third continent in seven days, our home for months ahead. 250 00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:55,351 Egypt is out there, but no one's quite sure how to get to it. 251 00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:06,792 A Loch Ness monster of a pontoon is towed towards us and the fun begins. 252 00:28:24,998 --> 00:28:28,593 Hello. Wanna buy a nice wallet for you? 253 00:28:28,758 --> 00:28:30,589 Nice wallet? 254 00:28:31,558 --> 00:28:33,753 Lovely wallet? 255 00:28:33,918 --> 00:28:35,874 (SPLASH) 256 00:28:36,038 --> 00:28:38,393 Within minutes, we're in trouble. 257 00:28:38,558 --> 00:28:41,789 0ur camera tripod rolls into the Mediterranean. 258 00:28:42,998 --> 00:28:47,867 Solutions are strong on enthusiasm but low on practicality. 259 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:52,234 (SPEAKS IN ARABIC) 260 00:29:02,598 --> 00:29:05,795 Later. Much later. 261 00:29:05,958 --> 00:29:10,668 The tripod has been retrieved by a diver from 60 feet down in the mud. 262 00:29:10,838 --> 00:29:16,435 That's only the start of the problems. Passepartout has spent seven hours in customs. 263 00:29:16,598 --> 00:29:18,907 We've wasted a whole day's filming. 264 00:29:19,078 --> 00:29:22,912 Some say in Africa things like this are bound to happen. 265 00:29:23,078 --> 00:29:26,593 Astrologers would say, "Patric Walker warned you." 266 00:29:26,758 --> 00:29:31,673 I don't know who's right. We're going to Cairo, keep out of Mercury's way. 267 00:29:31,838 --> 00:29:35,990 We'll take a few pictures of ships going through the Suez Canal. 268 00:30:06,838 --> 00:30:09,875 Ships on the Suez Canal. As good as our word. 269 00:30:11,438 --> 00:30:14,430 The Egyptian effect begins to take over. 270 00:30:14,598 --> 00:30:17,670 It involves finding a bench, sitting down 271 00:30:17,838 --> 00:30:22,787 and accepting there's nothing you can do about anything. God will provide. 272 00:30:38,638 --> 00:30:43,758 It's a philosophy which helps out here, especially in Cairo. 273 00:30:51,398 --> 00:30:54,515 This is Rameses station. 274 00:30:56,038 --> 00:30:59,792 Excuse me, do you know the train to Luxor? 275 00:30:59,958 --> 00:31:01,596 - Yeah. - Luxor. 276 00:31:01,758 --> 00:31:03,396 - Number eight. - What? 277 00:31:03,558 --> 00:31:06,675 - Number eight. - Number nine? Through that arch? 278 00:31:06,838 --> 00:31:09,671 (THEY SPEAK IN ARABIC) 279 00:31:09,838 --> 00:31:12,477 - Luxor. Overnight train. - Number nine. 280 00:31:12,638 --> 00:31:14,435 - Nine. OK. - Eight. 281 00:31:14,598 --> 00:31:16,554 - Eight or nine? - Nine. 282 00:31:16,718 --> 00:31:19,835 He works here. You say eight? He says nine. 283 00:31:19,998 --> 00:31:23,035 - Yes. - He works here, doesn't he? 284 00:31:24,958 --> 00:31:27,233 You say platform eight for Luxor? 285 00:31:27,398 --> 00:31:31,914 - Luxor? From platform number eleven. - Eleven? 286 00:31:32,078 --> 00:31:35,957 Anyone else? Luxor. Eleven, eight, nine. 287 00:31:36,118 --> 00:31:39,428 Which is the platform for Luxor? The night train. 288 00:31:39,598 --> 00:31:41,873 Sorry. Does it say it up there? 289 00:31:42,038 --> 00:31:43,676 Yes. 290 00:31:43,838 --> 00:31:45,794 - What number? - Eleven. 291 00:31:45,958 --> 00:31:48,233 - Eleven. Is that right? - Yes. 292 00:31:48,398 --> 00:31:53,313 Not eight or nine. Eleven. Where's eleven? Through there? Thank you. 293 00:31:58,598 --> 00:32:01,635 I find the train, eventually, at platform 10. 294 00:32:01,798 --> 00:32:03,595 - Which number? - Seven and eight. 295 00:32:03,758 --> 00:32:05,635 - Down here? - Yes. 296 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:17,914 When I last left Cairo, I was trying to get round the world in 80 days. 297 00:32:18,078 --> 00:32:21,070 I took a taxi east, into the desert. 298 00:32:34,758 --> 00:32:39,195 Tonight, I face the more enticing prospect of a journey south, 299 00:32:39,358 --> 00:32:43,476 down the Nile for the first time in my life. 300 00:32:46,238 --> 00:32:49,674 440 miles south of Cairo is Luxor, 301 00:32:49,838 --> 00:32:54,753 where my home for the next few days is moored on the Nile itself. 302 00:32:55,918 --> 00:33:00,708 The scale and power of the buildings is greater than I was prepared for. 303 00:33:00,878 --> 00:33:03,676 Tadorus, my Coptic Christian guide, 304 00:33:03,838 --> 00:33:06,875 seems to know everybody there is to know. 305 00:33:07,038 --> 00:33:11,589 The pharaohs are your ancestors. Are you directly descended from them? 306 00:33:11,758 --> 00:33:15,228 - Sure. Coptic means Egyptian. - Coptic means? 307 00:33:15,398 --> 00:33:20,267 - Egyptian. Pure Egyptian. - The floor would have been like this? 308 00:33:20,438 --> 00:33:24,431 No, the floor in that time was made of precious stones. 309 00:33:24,598 --> 00:33:27,476 All this was covered in precious stones? 310 00:33:27,638 --> 00:33:29,230 Yes. 311 00:33:32,598 --> 00:33:35,237 In the hypostyle hall at Karnak, 312 00:33:35,398 --> 00:33:41,348 elaborate hieroglyphics recount the deeds of the god-kings 3,000 years ago. 313 00:33:43,038 --> 00:33:47,031 2,800 years later, we no longer needed hieroglyphics. 314 00:33:47,198 --> 00:33:50,190 We'd developed graffiti. 315 00:33:55,638 --> 00:34:01,634 These extraordinary, massive stone columns, built to symbolise a forest, is one room. 316 00:34:01,798 --> 00:34:06,792 How could they build like this when Britain was still on stone circles? 317 00:34:07,558 --> 00:34:13,235 Tadorus knew Howard Carter, the man who uncovered Tutankhamen's tomb. 318 00:34:13,398 --> 00:34:16,390 When I asked Mr Howard Carter how they... 319 00:34:16,558 --> 00:34:19,277 Well, they bring it from Aswan quarry, 320 00:34:19,438 --> 00:34:22,987 but I tell him how they put it on this space? 321 00:34:23,158 --> 00:34:29,028 He said we've got very modern cranes that can shift more than 200 tonnes. 322 00:34:29,198 --> 00:34:33,111 - He said, "Maybe by magic." - Magic. 323 00:34:33,278 --> 00:34:36,156 Moses, when he met pharaoh, 324 00:34:36,318 --> 00:34:38,627 he threw his stick like that, 325 00:34:38,798 --> 00:34:40,789 stick of Moses became snake. 326 00:34:40,958 --> 00:34:42,949 That's magic. 327 00:34:57,838 --> 00:35:01,513 0n the other side of the Nile is the Valley of the Kings, 328 00:35:01,678 --> 00:35:04,146 an inhospitable, sun-bleached canyon 329 00:35:04,318 --> 00:35:08,027 beneath which was stored immeasurable wealth, 330 00:35:08,198 --> 00:35:10,587 the tombs of 62 pharaohs. 331 00:35:10,758 --> 00:35:13,875 - How many tombs have been found? - 40. 332 00:35:14,038 --> 00:35:17,348 Unfortunately, nothing has been found in them. 333 00:35:17,518 --> 00:35:20,555 Already robbed, except Tutankhamen. 334 00:35:20,718 --> 00:35:24,028 - So 22 tombs still to be discovered. - Not yet. 335 00:35:24,198 --> 00:35:27,634 - What was discovered in this tomb? - 1892. 336 00:35:27,798 --> 00:35:30,949 - In 1892, yeah. What was in it? - Nothing. 337 00:35:31,118 --> 00:35:33,996 - Why? - Robbed by the robbers. 338 00:35:34,158 --> 00:35:36,069 They'd taken everything? 339 00:35:36,238 --> 00:35:40,709 I don't like to see it robbed. Since long nobody cared about the monuments. 340 00:35:40,878 --> 00:35:47,431 You were present when Tutankhamen's tomb was discovered by Howard Carter. 341 00:35:47,598 --> 00:35:51,671 People say there was a curse on those who saw the tomb. 342 00:35:51,838 --> 00:35:53,794 No curse at all. 343 00:35:53,958 --> 00:35:57,792 - How can you be sure? - Newspapers wrote what they liked. 344 00:35:57,958 --> 00:36:00,153 They like a good story. 345 00:36:00,318 --> 00:36:02,673 - A mosquito flew out? - No mosquito. 346 00:36:02,838 --> 00:36:08,231 They say a mosquito came out of the tomb and bite him and he died. No. 347 00:36:08,398 --> 00:36:13,711 He discovered the tomb in 1922. He stayed in the tomb up to 1927. 348 00:36:13,878 --> 00:36:19,748 He returned back to England in 1927. He died in 1939, a very old man. 349 00:36:19,918 --> 00:36:23,149 Can you show me now some of the carvings here? 350 00:36:23,318 --> 00:36:26,116 Tell me what they mean. Who are they of? 351 00:36:26,278 --> 00:36:29,588 In this tomb the carving is very deep. 352 00:36:29,758 --> 00:36:33,512 - This is Rameses? - He's wearing a false beard. 353 00:36:33,678 --> 00:36:35,987 - Why? - High priest. 354 00:36:36,158 --> 00:36:41,073 - Why are they always in profile? - They look nice in profile. 355 00:37:13,958 --> 00:37:18,907 Cultural cruises down the Nile have become big business in the last 10 years 356 00:37:19,078 --> 00:37:24,198 but the Gulf War has scared customers away and there are only 30 aboard the Isis 357 00:37:24,358 --> 00:37:28,351 as we move at a leisurely pace towards Aswan. 358 00:37:32,038 --> 00:37:37,192 But the culture we've paid to see is the culture of 3,000 years ago. 359 00:37:37,358 --> 00:37:42,751 The realities of life in modern Egypt hardly impinge on our cocoon of comfort. 360 00:38:02,638 --> 00:38:08,349 At Esna we run into something I hadn't expected, a Nile traffic jam. 361 00:38:11,958 --> 00:38:16,236 It's caused by a lock which can only accommodate one ship an hour. 362 00:38:16,838 --> 00:38:20,353 Delays of up to two days have been known. 363 00:38:20,518 --> 00:38:23,635 Local retailers mount an amphibious operation. 364 00:38:23,798 --> 00:38:26,949 A squadron of boutiques takes to the water. 365 00:38:32,558 --> 00:38:36,790 0thers attack from the land, bombarding us with bargains. 366 00:38:36,958 --> 00:38:40,314 - Is it all sizes? - One pound for looking. 367 00:38:40,478 --> 00:38:43,072 One pound for looking? Ah. 368 00:38:43,838 --> 00:38:45,237 Wa-hey! 369 00:38:46,558 --> 00:38:48,992 Is it waterproof? 370 00:38:50,078 --> 00:38:52,512 Right, let's have a look. 371 00:38:55,478 --> 00:38:58,993 He saw you coming, charging you a pound to look. 372 00:38:59,158 --> 00:39:04,232 Now, anyone else? Ten pounds? Ten pounds for a look! 373 00:39:04,398 --> 00:39:07,754 - Not too much for you! - Not my colour! 374 00:39:07,918 --> 00:39:10,386 - Why no? - Here we are. 375 00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:17,555 - How much? - A pound. 376 00:39:17,718 --> 00:39:19,470 - Huh? - A pound. 377 00:39:19,638 --> 00:39:23,153 - One pound? - One pound. My final offer. 378 00:39:23,318 --> 00:39:28,597 - One pound for looking! - Why do you laugh? What's funny? 379 00:39:29,118 --> 00:39:31,632 A free look. Is that a free look? 380 00:39:33,238 --> 00:39:35,798 No obligation. 381 00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:39,473 - Thank you. - Give me five pounds! 382 00:39:40,398 --> 00:39:45,518 We have a seven-hour delay. An educational trip is hastily arranged. 383 00:39:46,598 --> 00:39:48,589 We don't get far. 384 00:39:49,078 --> 00:39:52,912 £35?! I bought one better than that for 20 on the boat. 385 00:39:53,078 --> 00:39:56,229 - Touch this cotton. - It was jolly good cotton. 386 00:39:56,398 --> 00:39:59,913 - This is first cotton. - That was first cotton. 387 00:40:00,078 --> 00:40:02,990 - 10 Egyptian pounds. - Impossible. 388 00:40:03,158 --> 00:40:08,027 - Give me 20 English money. - Not on your nelly! 389 00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:12,396 Eventually we fight our way to the temple of Kom 0mbo, 390 00:40:12,558 --> 00:40:16,233 dedicated, suitably, to the sacred crocodile. 391 00:40:16,398 --> 00:40:19,708 It's hot among the colonnades and hypostyle halls. 392 00:40:19,878 --> 00:40:23,951 The strain is telling on those at the frontiers of technology. 393 00:40:24,118 --> 00:40:27,030 It's not clicked on, Gerald. 394 00:40:28,438 --> 00:40:31,987 I've done everything properly. Don't start nattering. 395 00:40:32,158 --> 00:40:35,833 (TOUR GUIDE TALKS) 396 00:40:37,358 --> 00:40:42,671 For some people, the search for knowledge is uncompromising. 397 00:40:42,838 --> 00:40:46,592 For others, a bit of temple fatigue is setting in. 398 00:40:48,638 --> 00:40:52,870 - Do you like the guided bit? - As long as it's not too much. 399 00:40:53,038 --> 00:40:57,714 I think it's proved that after 20 minutes the mind goes blank. 400 00:40:57,878 --> 00:41:00,950 I proved that at school! 401 00:41:02,118 --> 00:41:06,634 Pat and Gerald are from Sheffield, but they're citizens of the world. 402 00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:12,509 (PAT) Brazil's even better. You sit in a café and the shop comes to you. 403 00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:15,636 You've been... Where haven't you been? 404 00:41:36,718 --> 00:41:39,630 The end of the day is for peace and contemplation, 405 00:41:39,798 --> 00:41:44,189 a time to surrender to the soothing magic of the Nile sunset. 406 00:41:44,358 --> 00:41:47,589 Unless it happens to be Fancy Dress Night. 407 00:41:57,358 --> 00:41:59,826 It's billed as "The highlight of your trip", 408 00:41:59,998 --> 00:42:02,637 which certainly puts Egypt in its placel 409 00:42:05,678 --> 00:42:09,466 (APPLAUSE) 410 00:42:09,638 --> 00:42:13,677 - How much you like? You like? - Five Egyptian pounds. 411 00:42:13,838 --> 00:42:18,434 Oh, my God! Five Egyptian pounds? No! 412 00:42:19,598 --> 00:42:24,547 - One hundred and fifty pounds. - Not on your nelly! 413 00:42:24,718 --> 00:42:26,788 You try it! 414 00:42:26,958 --> 00:42:29,836 Try it on. No photographs! 415 00:42:31,878 --> 00:42:33,948 (PAT) Ladies and gentlemen, 416 00:42:34,118 --> 00:42:39,670 I give you your own, your very own, Mr Gerald Flinders. 417 00:42:42,838 --> 00:42:45,227 # I'm 'Enery the Eighth, I am 418 00:42:45,398 --> 00:42:47,753 # 'Enery the Eighth, I am, I am 419 00:42:47,918 --> 00:42:50,113 # I've been married to the widow next door 420 00:42:50,278 --> 00:42:52,587 # She's been married seven times before 421 00:42:52,758 --> 00:42:56,512 # All the ones were a Henery... # 422 00:42:57,598 --> 00:43:00,032 # Underneath the arches 423 00:43:00,198 --> 00:43:05,352 # I dream my dreams away... # 424 00:43:05,518 --> 00:43:07,554 Ta-ta, folks! That's all! 425 00:43:12,118 --> 00:43:16,236 There's no escape. Everyone's expected to dress up... 426 00:43:16,398 --> 00:43:18,673 even actors. 427 00:43:18,838 --> 00:43:22,035 I'd like to lower the tone of the evening 428 00:43:22,198 --> 00:43:28,956 by attempting to recite the great work of Percy Bysshe Shelley, the poem, "Ozymandias". 429 00:43:29,118 --> 00:43:32,155 "I met a stranger from an antique land 430 00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:37,028 "Who said,"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert..." 431 00:43:39,798 --> 00:43:43,393 (EGYPTIAN MUSIC AND SINGING) 432 00:44:11,198 --> 00:44:13,666 Aswan marks the end of the tourist trail. 433 00:44:13,838 --> 00:44:18,628 Those who venture south from here do so at their own risk. 434 00:44:22,278 --> 00:44:27,830 The ferry boat Sinai takes everyone who wants to travel and their possessions. 435 00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:32,150 I've never seen so many people trying to get on a ship. 436 00:44:33,038 --> 00:44:35,677 (SHIP'S HORN BLOWS) 437 00:44:42,318 --> 00:44:44,434 No turning back now. 438 00:44:44,598 --> 00:44:49,991 From here on, everything is new, unfamiliar and very confusing. 439 00:44:50,158 --> 00:44:54,788 (DISTORTED ARABIC ON SHIP'S TANNOY) 440 00:45:01,038 --> 00:45:05,828 As Egypt slips away, so does any remaining hope of predictability. 441 00:45:05,998 --> 00:45:10,116 The journey should be simple - across Lake Nasser to Wadi Halfa 442 00:45:10,278 --> 00:45:14,510 where we take a train for Khartoum and south to the heart of Africa. 443 00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:17,829 But, of course, it isn't as easy as that. 444 00:45:17,998 --> 00:45:22,992 This ferry only exists to connect with a train in Wadi Halfa in the Sudan, 445 00:45:23,158 --> 00:45:25,353 Aswan being in Egypt. 446 00:45:25,518 --> 00:45:28,510 The train used to run to Khartoum daily, 447 00:45:28,678 --> 00:45:33,957 then it changed to weekly, and we heard a few days ago it'll now run fortnightly. 448 00:45:34,118 --> 00:45:37,713 No one told the ferry company, so we arranged a meeting 449 00:45:37,958 --> 00:45:43,316 between the governor of Wadi Halfa and the ferry company to get this ferry going. 450 00:45:43,478 --> 00:45:48,268 So we will get to Wadi Halfa and the Sudan, we hope, 451 00:45:48,438 --> 00:45:53,637 where we've heard the train we connect with is now running every month. 452 00:45:53,798 --> 00:45:57,711 This is Africa. 0n Lake Nasser, schedules are flexible. 453 00:46:13,718 --> 00:46:17,233 Life on board is remarkable for its tolerance. 454 00:46:17,398 --> 00:46:20,231 No one complains about lack of space, 455 00:46:20,398 --> 00:46:24,516 and no one else has yet found the reading rooml 456 00:46:24,678 --> 00:46:29,354 I settle down to do a bit of preparatory research. 457 00:46:29,518 --> 00:46:31,509 I wish I hadn't. 458 00:46:34,678 --> 00:46:38,637 Just about anything you eat in Africa could kill youl 459 00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:49,712 There's so little room, the restaurant is also the immigration office. 460 00:46:49,878 --> 00:46:54,474 They'll serve you a salad and stamp your passport. 461 00:46:59,638 --> 00:47:02,277 What kind of soup is that? 462 00:47:03,318 --> 00:47:06,310 (MAN REPLIES IN ARABIC) 463 00:47:09,998 --> 00:47:13,593 - Chicken. - Chicken? This is incredible! 464 00:47:13,758 --> 00:47:16,226 Not all at once! Too much. 465 00:47:16,398 --> 00:47:18,468 Right, thank you. 466 00:47:19,158 --> 00:47:23,948 Own knife, fork and spoon. No cutlery on this boat. Thank you. That's nice. 467 00:47:24,118 --> 00:47:26,268 Great. Thank you. 468 00:47:26,438 --> 00:47:28,394 Thanks. 469 00:47:28,558 --> 00:47:32,312 (THEY SPEAK IN ARABIC) 470 00:47:33,438 --> 00:47:38,512 The food's rather tasty. It turns out I'm eating it at the captain's table. 471 00:47:40,078 --> 00:47:43,275 - I have a good wife. - Do you? 472 00:47:43,438 --> 00:47:46,987 So do I. It's very important in this life. 473 00:47:47,918 --> 00:47:49,909 - Egyptian wife? - Mm-hmm. 474 00:47:50,078 --> 00:47:52,592 - Only one. - You've only one? 475 00:47:52,758 --> 00:47:55,556 Yeah. Some people have more. 476 00:47:55,718 --> 00:47:59,950 - No, you can't. I'm Muslim and I can. - I see, yeah. 477 00:48:01,638 --> 00:48:06,314 If you've got one that's just right, you don't want any more. 478 00:48:11,118 --> 00:48:15,191 Next morning, the port of Wadi Halfa lies ahead of us. 479 00:48:17,878 --> 00:48:22,394 It looks as promising as my guide book's description of the country - 480 00:48:22,558 --> 00:48:26,710 "The Sudan is fraught with turmoil, economic chaos, civil war, 481 00:48:26,878 --> 00:48:29,950 "drought, famine and refugee crisis." 482 00:48:30,118 --> 00:48:32,109 I can't wait.